“I’m sorry,” Brian repeated, his tone serious and deliberate. “For a lot of things over the last two days. I… I didn’t know what to do with what happened before I left Pittsburgh, and I wasn’t ready to talk.” He paused, sighing. “And I don’t know how to lie to you. I haven’t for a long time, and you know that. So sometimes, it’s easier to piss you off, so you’ll leave me alone until I find enough of my remaining ball to face you -- as irrational as I know that sounds.”

“Or,” Justin said, a small smile playing on his lips, “you could say, ‘Hey Justin, I’ve got something on my mind that I’m not ready to talk about, and I need a little space.’” He gave his husband a meaningful look before continuing. “Brian, I know what you’re doing when you do it now… But what I don’t understand is why, almost two decades into our relationship, you still think the solution to anything is to push me away -- if for no reason other than it won’t fucking work.”

***

Brian gets some unexpected and difficult news and turns to his usual coping strategies. Justin knows better.

I heard a new song called 'Black Out the Sun' by Darren Hayes on an LJ QAF fan site and immediately got the image of this all important night when Brian finally said 'I Love You' to Justin for the first time.  I was so inspired I had to re-visit that scene and give my version of Brian's thoughts that fateful evening.  I have filled in a couple of gaps from the show, such as the time between Brian's hearing the radio announcement of the bombing and his arrival at Babylon, and the short period of time when Brian was with Debbie at the hospital chapel and before he came back for Justin.  I hope you will enjoy my interpretation.  I've included the lyrics to the song (which do not belong to me, of course) so that you can understand why it affected me the way it did.  A huge debt of gratitude goes to my beloved Granddaughter for the remarkable banner she made for this story and my wonderful beta, Judy.

Post 507. Sort of Au - Mikey and Brian never had "the fight", Linds and Mel never broke up, but Brian and Justin did break up. Starts a few days before Stop Prop 14. Brian has a realization and melodrama, lesbianic endeavors, and shopping trips ensue. I warn, though, i'm not planning this story to remain a happy fluff fest. Stop prop 14 does not follow the show - but that doesn't necessarily mean what you think... PLEASE REVIEW. This is my second story... of anything... ever. So feedback is very welcome!! :) Enjoy!