Reviewer: Sara (Anonymous) · Date: May 22, 2008 07:05 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
great chapter, very emotional, I love how Brian is taking care of Justin
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: May 22, 2008 06:43 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
...Wow. The emotions are just so strong. You have done an amazing job of letting the reader feel what Brian and Justin are. Just a great chapter. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Thanks Jackie. I'm glad you were able to 'feel' it all- it's sometimes hard to describe what an ED feels like 'from the inside'. I'm very pleased that you're enjoying this fic and I hope you'll like where it goes. Thanks again for reading and for your much adored reviews!!
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2008 06:18 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
this chapter was so riveting. as lost as justin is and brian feels, there is a light at the end of the long dark tunnel of desperation. slowly brian is getting his justin back. “That felt…like me,” Justin whispered, the smile getting just a tiny bit broader. “Me, Brian. Thank fuck. I’m still here inside somewhere.” i understand that it will take alot of hard work, tears and frustration, but they'll get through it and do it together.
Author's Response: Hey- I finally managed to read this comment and really loved it. Thank you. I think the most important thing in this chapter was Brian's (and Justin's) affirmation that he hadn't lost sight of who Justin really is. There's still hope- a 'light at the end of the tunnel', as you say. Thank you again for reading and for all your wonderful reviews. They make me want to keep writing ;)
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2008 05:54 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
You are doing an amazing job with this story. I don't thin B/J are ooc at all. I think this kind of disease brings out strenghts (and weakness) in people they never knew they had. Brian always gave Justin want he needed (or what he thought he needed) in the show and that is exactly what he is doing now. Justin needs all the love and attention Brian is giving him. He needs the words and the actions. I see Brian totally in character in this story. This chapter in particular was powerful. You describe not only the physical ramifications of the disease, but also the emotional. I believe with love and support, Justin will beat this thing. Your writing is so powerful and real. I'm totally invested. This is one of the most original and relevant B/J stories I've read. I applaud your efforts and your courage in taking this on.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! That really, really means a lot. I'm so glad you can see and feel everything I try to describe; it's sometimes quite difficult to explain what an ED feels like from the inside. But, as you've pointed out, the most important thing (for this story and in relaity) is that recovery is possible with firm, loving support. I can't tell you how pleased I am that you find this story so appealing; I do really, really appriecate your comments. Thank you!!!
Reviewer: alys (Anonymous) · Date: May 22, 2008 05:27 AM · On: Even If It Kills Me
I think they seemed very in character. It reminds me kinda of the posse days when justin's preception was also kinda skewed. I thought it was beautiful that brian made love to justin, even though he was saddened by it. Excellant chapter, I like a forcefully but caring Brian.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Eating disorders can make you act and feel like a different person...it's always so important for people not to lose sight of who is truely at the centre of it. I'm glad you found the characters ICC ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your comment!
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: May 09, 2008 06:56 AM · On: Shades of Grey
Goodness. I'm pretty much speechless. Justin's pain and Brian's saddnes are both so real. Another great chapter. I cannot wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Yeah...writing this chapter was a pretty intense ride so I'm sure reading it must have been just as rocky. I know it seems a little angsty at the moment, but there really in now only one dirrection Justin can go. And Brian will make sure he gets there (even if he does have to pull Justin kicking a screaming through some parts). I'm so pleased that you're enjoying the ride on this emotional rollarcoaster. Thanks so much for reading and for your alwasy much-loved reviews!
Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: May 09, 2008 02:41 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
I think that this is a great story. I have a friend that is a practicing psychologist. She ocassionally does group therapy for people with eating disorders and told me that there is an epidemic among gay men (young gay men) in which anorexia and bulimia are an epidemic that is almost rivalling teenage girls. Many older gay men don't understand what is with the younger ones doing this to themselves. Particularly because the older ones lived through the AIDS epidemic and saw emaciated friends because of the disease. I am not sure if you realized this when you started the story. However, it is quite relevant to the times. In fact, my friends agency is starting a group that will cater to men with eating disorders. A lot of the guys were having problems with the issue because they didn't feel as comfortable in a group that had women. They are also hiring a male psychologist that has dealt with gay men on this issue. Ironically, he used to suffer from anorexia and he is a PhD student now. Sorry for the long comment, but I wanted to tell you how on point you are.
Author's Response: I LOVE this kind of comment! This feedback is so helpful- thank you! I started writing this story because I know from personal experience just how devastating an ED can be, but also how essential loving support is in the recovery process. This is why I thought it would make such a powerful and poignant hurt/comfort. And although I’ve had to convince a number of people very hard on this point, I think the post-513 Justin is a candidate for an eating disorder- he’s a high-achiever (citing his high SAT scores and his success in the PIFA) with a history of post-traumatic stress disorder (his bashing). He’s also been put through the emotional mill by Brian and Ethan, he was bullied in school, and his parents divorced when he was 17. From a body image point of view, he lived with Brian who was always fanatic about his weight, and (perhaps indivertibly) may have placed emphasis on the ‘thin is beautiful’ idea. Now Justin finds himself in New York with the added stress of having just left Brian, surrounded by new people and in a totally new situation. I can just see his need to feel in control of his life. I knew when I started writing this that EDs in men were becoming a huge issue, especially in the gay community. It must be so much harder for men because anorexia and bulimia are so often seen a ‘women’s issues’. It makes it that much harder for them to admit they have a problem (as if that isn’t hard enough. I think admitting to my parents that I had anorexia was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.) But it’s great to know that this issue has been recognized and that steps are now being taken to help young men with eating disorders. Thank you again for this wonderful review- the feedback is so awesome. I’m really glad you find this story relevant and realistic- that is actually a big comfort :) Your comments are always much-adored and always more than welcome. ~Sapphire.
Reviewer: Amelia (Anonymous) · Date: May 09, 2008 01:44 AM · On: Shades of Grey
Emotional rollercoaster? Funny you should say that, I just spent the whole day at Six Flags!! And apparently the ride isn't over! Great chapter! ...two weeks???
Author's Response: Is the ride ever over? ;) And it's not quite two weeks- it's ten days. I'll be writing it mentally as I slog up and down the badlands of Saskatchewan looking for fossils, so that when I come back, all I'll have to do is transfer the story into words. At least, that's the plan...Anyway, I'm so glad you enjoyed this chpater! And thank you so much for your review, as always!
Reviewer: Wildsweet_angel (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2008 09:48 PM · On: Shades of Grey
This fic is just awesome. Your description of Justin's pain, and his fear of losing control are just heart wrenching. This story is beautifully written and tastefully done. Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really very pleased that you're enjoying this story :) I know it is a bit angsty right now, but I'm hoping it will make the 'comfort' of hurt/comfort that much stronger. I'm also happy to hear that you find it tasteful- knowing from experience how delicate this topic can be, I'm trying to keep this as realistic and compassionate as possible. Thank you again for reading and for you most wonderful review!
Reviewer: emmakinney (Anonymous) · Date: May 08, 2008 08:33 PM · On: Shades of Grey
Oh my god, this is just great. My friend has suffered from anorexia for a couple of years and I really understand the loss of control. This chapter was great and I think it is quite true to their characters, definitely IC! I'm ad that it'll be two weeks until the next update but I'll be waiting patiently. Great job Hon, Emma xx
Author's Response: Hey Emma :) It's really good to hear from you! I'm so glad you think this story is realistic and IC. I have myself had an eating disorder which is how I know exactly what it feels like. But I also know how important loving support is in the recovery process and this is what I hope to make shine in this story. It's a bit of an emotional rollarcoaster for me, too, but I do enjoy writing it. I'll try to have the next update posted as soon as I can after I get back. Thanks so much for reading and for your much-adored review!
Reviewer: Cait (Anonymous) · Date: May 08, 2008 06:16 PM · On: Shades of Grey
Soooo good and sad adn wondeful! The next two weeks are going to be torture!!!! :-) I can't wait for the update
Author's Response: Don't worry- it's really only 10 days, and I'll be writing the story mentally the whole time. That way, when I sit down to write it next Monday, it will already be mostly written. Kind of. I'm very pleased you enjoyed this chapter- I know it seems a little angsty now, but things will get easier for our men. Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2008 06:13 PM · On: Shades of Grey
Loved your metaphors in the beginning of this chapter "the charcoal longing of regret, the shimmering silver of memory, the heavy lead-gray of concern..." beautiful This was the most amazing, beautiful, well crafted chapter I've had the pleasure to read. Please continue this amazing story. The premise is haunting and intriguing, and your writing brings everything to life. Thank you
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's so awesome to hear this from such an amazing writer like yourself :) I'm so glad you're finding this story interesting but also realistic. I know this is such a delicate topic and I'm trying to be very careful to keep it real and compassionate while also ICC. Thank you again for your wonderful review- it really does mean a lot :)
Reviewer: alys (Anonymous) · Date: May 08, 2008 02:20 PM · On: Shades of Grey
excellant. enjoy saskatchewan. hmmm maybe bri and J could go with you and find a great dr, get treatment away from the pitts... great chapter, will try and be patient... ;-)
Author's Response: I guess I could write a story about Brian and Justin sharing a 1 1/2 man backpacking tent in the middle of a thunderstorm, kissing passionatly in their soggy sleeping bags as they pull ticks out of each other (Did I mention I love field work?) ;) But yeah, I will certainlly be writing the next update in my head as I trek across the prairie (the good thing about Sask. is that you can never get lost- it's so flat you can walk for three days and still see the campsite ;) I'm very pleased you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: Big J (Anonymous) · Date: May 08, 2008 02:16 PM · On: Shades of Grey
OMG, yes, it was def. an emotional roller coaster and how dare you have a life. LOL!!! You can't make us wait 2 weeks for an update. I've been checking every day this week for one and was so pleased to see this. Poor, poor Justin. At least Brian is there to help and knows the truth now. His reaction was soooo touching. Hoping things improve for them. And the last bit where he wanted to hold him no matter what. Sigh! Counting the days till next time.
Author's Response: I'm sorry for my interfering life :) I promice I will be mentally writing this chapter next week as I dig up my dinosaurs (and hopefully find some more)- so when I go to write the update next Monday, it will sort of already be written. Kinda. I'll be good, I promice ;) And yes, this was certainly an emotional rollarcoaster- it felt like that when I was writing it. It's so hard for both Brian and Justin, but now they're both on the same page, they can deal with this together. I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this! I hope you'll hold out long enough for the next update ;) Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2008 12:37 PM · On: Shades of Grey
This is sad but hopefully Brian will get through to Justin. I am looking forward to seeing how.
Author's Response: Brian will have to push Justin really hard but will have to be careful not to send him over the edge. It'll be a challange, but I have faith in our boys and thier love for one another :) I know it seems sad now, but it'll get happier (scout's honour). Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: Sara (Anonymous) · Date: May 08, 2008 08:51 AM · On: Shades of Grey
Brian saying he wanted to hold Justin because he was his sunshine and it didnt matter how much there was of him and he will be there holding his hand was so beautiful and sweet
Author's Response: Yeah- I think the most important thing in helping someone recover from an ED is remembering that they are still themselves on the inside. Brian never lost sight of Justin, and that will be of huge comfort to him as they struggle through this. Thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful review!
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: May 08, 2008 07:11 AM · On: Shades of Grey
"Although I try and avoid ‘angst for angst sake’, I do have to admit that this chapter is a little heavy on the emotional side. " ya think? OMG! for brian to be shaken that badly you know it must be bad. will be here waiting in two weeks.
Author's Response: Yeah...I guess that was a bit of an understatement. Believe me, by the time I'd finished writing this, I felt as if I'd written the whole Encylopaedia Britanica single-handedly. It's difficult because it's painful for Brian and Justin, but for different reason and it has to seem real on both sides. But yes, as I said, there are happier times on the horizon- difficult, but happier. I will be mentally writing the next chapter next week while I am sleeping in my little tent trying to ignore the roaring of the mosquitoes ;) Thanks so much for your reveiw, as always!
Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: May 01, 2008 12:15 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
I stumbled upon your fics checking on other writers and this is so sad but so well described I think I will have to check out anything else you have written. Oh and Brian will help alright, just after he kills him.
Author's Response: Thanks :) This story is a bit of a departure for me because it is so dark (at first). I hestitated a long time over writing it because I was concerned about the delicate nature of the topic, and because some may see it as OCC for Justin to develop an eating disorder (I don't think it is, but others would disagree). But I think it has so much potential as a hurt/ comfort- for both Brian and Justin. So I decided to go with it...even if it did feel as if I was dropping an A-bomb. Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: May 01, 2008 01:18 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
WHAT A GREAT START TO THIS STORY!!!! You have me hooked. As you know, I like your writing. Please update real soon.
Author's Response: Thanks Tara :) I'm glad you think this is a promising start. I hesitated over writing this for so many reasons (namely because of the delicate nature of the subject dealt with), but I decided to go with it. 'Gently', as Brian would say. I'm really glad you're interested in this story. Thanks so much for reading, as always, and thank you for your much adored review!
Reviewer: Ashley (Anonymous) · Date: May 01, 2008 12:31 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
OMG! This story is so dramatic! I can't wait for chater two. I really hope Brian does somthing. My poor heart hurts just thinking about Brian's reaction.
Author's Response: Yes, it will be very difficult for them both- this is certainly not an easy thing to deal with. I'm so glad your insterested in the story! Thanks so much for reading and for your reveiw!
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: April 30, 2008 08:32 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
I love your writing, and your word usage. This story is heartbreaking, and very real. I'm glad you are tackling this delicate subject. I look forward to seeing how you handle it, and where'll you'll take the characters. Great first chapter
Author's Response: Thanks. This is the first time I've achtually tried writing in third person, so the writing style is a bit of a departure for me. Yes, this is a very delicate, very real and very sensitive subject. I hesitated over writing this story for a long time for that reason. But I think if it's handled with care it could be a make a powerful, if somewhat poignant, hurt/comfort fic. I think the hardes thing is keeping the characters ICC, but I'll do my best. Thanks for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: black sheep (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 05:28 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
what a wonderful start to what seems like it will be a great story.
Author's Response: Thanks- I'm glad you think so :) I know the subject is a little sensitive, but I think the story has a lot of potentail. Thanks for reading and for your comment!
Reviewer: Magda (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 12:50 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
I just love your stories.
The first chapter is greatm I'm already in love with this one too and can't wait for more ^^
btw, it was nice to see my real name in fanfic with Brian and Justin lol Magda (aka Madlen)
Author's Response: Thanks Magda :) The character Magda in my story actually based on a tall, willowy blonde of the same name from a book by Jacquline Wilson (her books are written for teenagers, but my little sister had the whole collection). I've never acutally met anyone who was actually called Magda before now. Cool! Anyway, I'm very pleased you're enjoying this story so far. I know it seems a little angsty at this point, but I promice it won't always be. Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: Anna (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 12:07 PM · On: Dark Secret Love
This seems like an interesting story:) I can't wait for the next chapter
Author's Response: Thanks; I'm glad you think so. I know the subject is sensitve and I know many people would see this as OCC for Justin, but I personally disagree (I'm doing the best I can to keep him in character). Anyway, I'm really glad you're interested. Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: Big J (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 10:11 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
You really know how to get to me. Poor Justin. Being someone who loves food and can never skip a meal I really don't understand this disease. Looking at it from Justin's POV gives me an insight into it. It's all about control over some part of his life. Hopefully Brian can at least start to help him. Can't wait for the next chapter. And you have taken a compassionate look at it.
Author's Response: Thanks- I'm glad you think so. I unfortunatly have an intimate understanding of this illness which made writing this story a bit challanging. But I also know how much loving support is paramount to a successful recovery. I know the story seems a little angsty now, but I can promice a happier ending ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your much-adored comment!
Reviewer: Cait (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 08:32 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
This is really good so far and super sad. I can't wait to see how Brian helps him. Hurt/comfort is my favorite!
Author's Response: Thanks :) Someone once told me that , 'hurt /comfort is a romantic's bread and butter'. I would have to agree with that- I just adore it. Anyway, I know this story is very sad and may be a little hard to read at this point, but I can promice you it will get a little lighter. I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Thanks so much for reading and for your comment!
Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 06:19 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
...Wow...that was just amazing. So wonderfully written. I hope Brian can help Justin. Fantastic chapter. I cannot wait to see what happens.
Author's Response: Hey Jackie. Thanks. I'm glad your on board for this story too :) I'm pleased you enjoyed this chapter- I know the story seems a bit dark and angsty now, but it won't always be. Of course Brian would never leave Justin to suffer alone. Thanks so much for reading and for all your much-adored reiews!
Reviewer: carlina (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 06:19 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
I love tis so far. I completely different storyline that I've read in a while. Keep up the great work. More soon PLEASE> Hugs, Carlina
Author's Response: Hi Carlina. I'm glad you like this so far. To my knowledge, I don't think this issue has been explored before. But I'm willing to give it a shot. I know it seems a little dark and depressing at this point, but it won't always be. Thanks so much for reading and for your review!
Reviewer: alys (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 06:17 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
so what does bri do..... bring him back to pitts I hope..... great chapter
Author's Response: Thanks :) Rest assured, one thing that Brian won't do is leave Justin to suffer alone. I know the story seems a little dark and angsty right now, but it will get better. I'm glad you're enjoying this so far. Thanks so much for reading and for your reveiw!
Reviewer: Amelia (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2008 06:14 AM · On: Dark Secret Love
You're too great. Are you ever going to write for publishing?
Author's Response: Thanks Amelia- you're awesome :) My only real publication to date is in a scientific journal (which is writing, but not nearly as exciting as this). I guess I've never really thought of writing fiction for publishing (other than here and on LJ). You think I should? Hmm... Anyway, I'm glad you seem to think so well of my stories :) Thanks so much for reading and for your much-loved review!
|
