Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 05:58 AM · On: Restrained
He needed that release, that anger, Justin knows him so well aw!!!!!!!!!!
Reviewer: Minoloushe (Anonymous) · Date: November 17, 2009 07:25 PM · On: Restrained
*waves hello* I found this chapter really interesting (and very hot but that’s a whole other issue).
There’s no doubt that Brian has legitimate reasons to be angry at his parents. I think that for many people anger operates as a default emotion. Rather than admitting that we’re sad or hurt, something that makes us vulnerable, it’s easier to simply be angry. It seems more empowering and by implication “safer”. I don’t know that is necessarily true for Brian though – he seems terrified of anger in a deeper way than when trying to confront other emotions.
I think Brian’s fear of anger makes a lot of sense within the context of his childhood and the ambivalent relationship between affection and anger, love and violence set up in the previous chapter. It would certainly be a frightening prospect if your signifier for love and attention is anger and you have first hand experience of the damage and violence anger can lead to.
We also see that confusion between love, hatred, anger, affection and violence in canon through Justin’s bashing in 122 and Brian’s reactions in season 2. I think it’s fair to say that Brian believes his attempt at demonstrating love for Justin by attending the prom lead to the act of anger / hatred / violence by Chris Hobbs. The cycle of his childhood repeated and reinforced. It’s quite interesting to think about Brian’s reaction to the attack on him by Justin’s father outside Babylon or his hitting Michael in season 3 within that context.
As to Justin’s solution for helping Brian to express that anger safely…I thought that was simply brilliant *nods* It incorporates so many of the themes you’ve laid the ground work for in previous chapters – the safety Brian feels in relationship “rules” and boundaries (which are essentially emotional restraints) together with the fact that Brian’s attempts at emotional intimacy or communication are most effective when expressed as sex, touching or at least some element of physicality (the chair springs to mind here, where the lack of room forces Brian and Justin to touch while also creating a freer emotional space). Corporeal restraint allowing safety and freedom for emotional expression.
See, I told you to be careful what you wish for :) : )
Author's Response: This is not only what I wished for, but exactly what I need to get me thinking about something other than work and thereby losing my mind. So thank you!
I like your idea about Brian's reasons for anger and his fear of it. I think he is basically afraid of being angry and of too much emotional expression of any kind. That was one of the things that did shake him in this chapter -- that he was tied up for non-sexual purposes. Also, as you suggest, it showed Brian that Justin was aware of how he felt and what he needed at a deep level, even though Brian had tried to hide it and didn't want Justin to have to help.
I LOVE your point about Brian's confusion being exemplified over the Chris Hobbs situation. Brian certainly causally links openness/affection/love with retribution/violence/rejection. It certainly makes it more clear why he rejects so many "romantic" gestures when one considers his underlying assumptions. I really want to explore these issues more. Doing it within WNWM makes the most sense, but I don't see an obvious way to do it. If I can't make it work in WNWM I'll have to do a couple one-shot stories, one pre-WNWM and one post-WNWM. :)
*sighs contentedly at your analysis of the restraints!* Exactly...exactly. Thank you.
Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: October 25, 2009 04:32 AM · On: Restrained
These chapters without the spaces and with paragraphs are fabulous! This was a great chapter; bondage to deal with anger is a true method of BDSM training for a slave. Did you know that or guessed it?
Author's Response: Did I know or did I guess? Well, a little of both. I didn't know specifically; however, the background knowledge I do have on D/s relationships, coupled with some ideas I have about psychology sort of coalesced into the Restrained chapter. The central thought was that being physically restrained would allow for emotional release, and the aspect of safety from one's own emotional state, which I think is key... and which I've seen displayed in multiple case histories over the years. :)
Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: October 17, 2009 06:25 AM · On: Restrained
awesome chapter- I love how Justin is really helping Brian through all this. Brian is finally accepting that his parents weren't really there and he's dealing with these emotions- wonderful
Author's Response: Thank you! I think Justin feels really fulfilled by being able to help Brian this way -- I hope I can make that part come through in upcoming chapters. Thanks so much for writing in and I'm sorry that the reply took so long!
Reviewer: Marny (Signed) · Date: October 14, 2009 05:08 PM · On: Restrained
I love this story so much, thank you so much for writing
* big hug *
Author's Response: Thank you for reading! I'm sorry I didn't see this review earlier!
*hugs back!*
Reviewer: MissMoe (Anonymous) · Date: October 14, 2009 07:07 AM · On: Restrained
...I love that nickname. It makes me want to smile, so I'm sure Brian appreciates it too. :) This chapter was, once again, very emotionally driven. Very entrancing. Brian's reunion with Justin was...yummtastical. Yet, what I enjoyed most was Brian's struggle. It's so vividly represented how he is struggling against his parental issues. Justin is so wonderfully characterized. There's not much more I can say on him, I just love him so much. Great chapter!!! I can't wait for more!! :)
Author's Response: Hi! I have no idea how I missed these reviews but oh well! I'll reply now! *shrugs apolgetically*
*grins at your new word, yummtastical. I like that!* I love that you like Justin as characterized. I don't ever trust myself to portray him as well as I'd like to -- so I'm happy that it went well! And that the struggle was a good scene -- it is my favorite of the chapter by far.
Thanks and sorry for the late reply!
Reviewer: edom (Signed) · Date: October 11, 2009 10:27 PM · On: Restrained
I can only imagine them not being able to keep their hands off each other after being apart for a few days. You did have Brian push Justin on the chaise and later he turns him over and his on the bed, just thought you might want to change that ;)
It was a smart move on Justin's part to give Brian a safe outlet for his anger and to restrain him so he couldn't lash out physically, like I'm sure he (Brian) was afraid he'd do.
It's a good thing he got to rant and get it all out, that way he can move on from it.
Great chapter, as usual.
Author's Response: Thanks, I'll be going back to fix that! :)
I think you're right -- Brian was really afraid of what would happen if / when he lost control. He didn't feel safe to do it anywhere, and didn't even know what he would do. Justin eased those fears and showed Brian that his anger was manageable, and therefore safe to express.
I'm very glad that you continue to enjoy the story! :)
Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: October 11, 2009 10:26 PM · On: Restrained
Wow... Brian was really happy to have his Sunshine back.... I am happy that both Dr. Stevenson and Justin are doing all they can to make Brian express his anger.... of course Justin used a "different" method than the Dr. ..but... I think it was just as effective.. lol.. I hope Dr. Stevenson doesn't get too upset with Justin's approach to "psychology".... when he finds out...
Author's Response: Yeah, Justin and Dr. Stevenson are working together in a way. It should be interesting to see how Dr. Stevenson will react to the report on Brian's care! I have to be careful to make it realistic and not make Dr. Stevenson too understanding. :) It should be a good session coming up; I hope you'll enjoy it. Thanks for the review!
Reviewer: Bridget (Anonymous) · Date: October 11, 2009 08:37 PM · On: Restrained
I think you did an awesome job of helping Brian get some of his anger out. I really hope to see Justin in therapy more with Brian. Just a thought but I totally trust you to make this story even more great. Keep up the good work you have my support.
Author's Response: I think you're right; I think Justin will be there for the next session (chapter 36) and possibly the one after. It is really interesting to add him to the dynamic of the session. Thank you so much for your thoughts and support! I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter with Justin and the doc! :)
Reviewer: Kitty_Ballou (Signed) · Date: October 11, 2009 04:50 PM · On: Restrained
Can't help myself - I'm crying again!
*smiles + clears my throat*
This chapter is amazing and sad and in the end so breathtaking! I understand Brian so well and I hope he's feeling better now. In my own life it was my father who... no, he really didn't ignore me! But my parents weren't interesting in my life! Whatever I did - what they did was better! I met this famous football-player at my birthday (!!!), called my parents (they were at home and I - together with a friend in Stuttgart) and my father told me they bought asparagus that morning! He didn't even wish me a Happy birthday!! So I ended the call and burst into tears, crawling down in the phone box until my friend hurried up to me to calm me now.
*takes a deep breath*
That's a little chapter of my own story. And perhaps you'll understand me when I told that I unterstand Brian so well... It's a shame what parents do to their children! They don't need money or an own TV or something like that! They need their love and understanding! Because that's the most important things - to know that your parents are there for you, to lead you and to help you, whatever comes! You're the child. And you need to be loved! Even a Brian Kinney needs love...
*sighs again*
So much philosophical things on a sunday morning... But sometimes you have to do what you want to do! And believe me, Tiffany: I am feeling much better now! So thanks again for your story and for meeting you! *hugs*
Author's Response: Awww, Kitty! *hugs*! I'm so sorry to hear that. That would be so frustrating and so...demeaning, to have all of your interests and actions be treated like that. I hope you have lots of people in your life now who can do the opposite of that, and who want to be happy and excited with you!
It does make sense that you understand Brian. It's true -- what a child needs is fairly simple, it's not something that has to be bought or anything, but it's so, so important.
Thank you so much for sharing! What you are going through must be so difficult, but just remember that you deserve to have better, to have the best!
It really is an honor to have readers like you, who are triumphing the way that Brian is, and who have so much courage. Thank you.
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: October 11, 2009 12:42 PM · On: Restrained
i think what justin did was right. he fought to get the anger out without causing himself or someone else physical pain. i don't know how dr. stevenson will feel about what justin did but i think he'll be seeing a new better feeling brian at their next session.
Author's Response: You hit on what was sort of the central thought I had behind the restraints, which was that the more restrained Brian was physically, the more expressive he would be able to be emotionally. And it proved to him that all of those super-intense feelings could be handled safely, which is extremely important.
I'm looking forward to what Dr. Stevenson says, too. He's a pretty understanding guy, pretty open-minded, but I have to be careful not to make him understand too much, because that's pretty unlikely.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Reviewer: scrub13 (Signed) · Date: October 11, 2009 12:21 PM · On: Restrained
Thank you so very much ! Another wonderful chapter full of torment and redemption. And HOT as all get out too. Brian is so very terrified of his own anger. He's buried it for years under layers of sarchasm and his edict of not believing in love. I think that his fear of being unlovable was surpassed by his fear of what he could do if he was loved and he anger came out against that person.
Justin's "therapy" was risky, but I see the benefit of allowing Brian to rage without fear of injurying himself or anyone else. Brian's anger isn't gone, but now maybe he can find a healthy way to let it out and realize it's a natural part of living.
And BTW did I say that I really liked t he HOT parts of this story as well? Justin calling Brian Beautiful gave me goose bumps.
Author's Response: I really like your characterization of Brian as terrified of anger, and I think you have an interesting idea about the root of Brian's fear of relationships. I'll have to think about that at consult Dr. Stevenson! :) I think you're totally right about Brian being afraid to show his anger to anyone, for fear that he would hurt them or scare them into leaving him. I think your goal -- realizing that anger is just a part of life -- is an excellent one for Brian.
It was a risk... I sort of felt like I was taking a risk even in writing it! *grin*.
*smiles broadly* I'm glad the scenes were hot. I thought they were a little moreso than my usual, but then, I don't usually like them at all. :)
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