Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2015 04:46 AM · On: Clear Lines
I'm sad Brian tricked BUT I get e was on autopilot - I love that he admitted that he didn't want to know if Justin tricked. That is a HUGE accomplishment for him to admit something like that.
Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: October 25, 2009 02:50 AM · On: Clear Lines
It always amazes me when girls write our boys using condoms to protect for HIV and let them eat semen which is the worse thing gay boys can do to expose themselves to the virus. Swallowing is the 100% way to get the virus and is as dangerous as swallowing the blood of a HIV+ partner. Anal sex is about 5%-50% chance doing it raw depending on the viral load of the positve top. But they call this fiction for a reason.
Justin gave Brian his room with enough limits to make Brian think before he tricks. It's a beginning for them toward a better relationship. Brian's leaning toward only being with Justin and just can't commit yet IMO.
Author's Response: You know, that's a really good point. I didn't think about that as much as I should have. I guess I just took my cue from the show, where it seemed like it wasn't discussed as much as the condom issue. That was pretty irresponsible and stupid of me. In future fics, I'll be more careful about that; thanks for the info!
The limits are really key; in my mind, they have a lot of functions and serve a deep purpose for Brian.
Reviewer: Kitty_Ballou (Signed) · Date: August 30, 2009 03:26 PM · On: Clear Lines
It's pretty hot! And I understand Justin so well - I would forgive Brian too... I think I would! *gg* And the rest of the chapter... Holy Moses!
*sighs*
Are you sure you don't wanna talk with Cowlip about a Re-Union of "Queer as folk" presenting them this story of yours??? I think a lot of people/readers would be amazed!!! *gggggggg*
Reviewer: chris (Anonymous) · Date: August 27, 2009 08:08 AM · On: Clear Lines
Reading the review I see that that most find that Justin respond was good and that’s o.k. for now and he dose have the right to be mad and hurt that nature and understandably but why make rules at this stage of the game or whatever I fill that both person are older and should be on a higher lever of maturity than to make rules any more. I love when people remember only how Justin had broken them, not to mention the time frame he being a kid of only 18 and having sex with adult. Answer this for me when Justin made mention about telling each other when they want to fuck someone other each other why dose brain get resentful maybe that’s something he should ask the DR. It look’s like to me that it’s o.k. for Brain to do whatever and he dose but at the same time hoping that Justin stay only true to him. Justin will always be so understanding and so weak. Is that what they call love.
Author's Response: I see what you mean. Believe me, the next chapter has Brian discussing the issue of tricking and the rules with Dr. Stevenson. I think Brian was making an honest attempt to compromise toward monogamy. I don't think he fully realizes the link between how he doesn't want to know about the tricking and how that relates to wanting commitment. At this point, he's just not emotionally "tuned in" enough to recognize this. I think Dr. Stevenson will be the right person to help, you're right.
I think the rules will have an unexpected effect or two.
I can see how you might think that Brian want to do whatever he wants and expect more from Justin. I personally don't see it that way, though. In my view, Brian's attempt is honest, and his fear is promising more than he can give.
Personally, I find a lot of strength in Justin's understanding. He's trying to listen and understand and support, even when it might be easier for him to be angry, resentful, and so on. He does have a right to that, and he expressed his hurt and feelings of inadequacy. It was hard for me to balance his response for the chapter, because of a lot of factors -- including the ambiguity of their relationship at that time period and because of their growth as characters through the show, and then as this story is, one year post S5.
Thanks so much for your thoughts on this chapter!
Reviewer: Tiffany (Anonymous) · Date: August 27, 2009 06:22 AM · On: Clear Lines
I think Justin's reaction was perfect. I especially liked that they defined the rules but left them open to be re evaluated by saying that they were just for now and not how they may be in the future. Have fun with your mom... we'll miss the updates though :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much -- it was hard to choose a reaction. Everything seemed either like it would be overreacting or underreacting.
And you're totally right -- they're just rules for now. I think they'll be clarified pretty quickly. Brian just needed the boundaries.
Thanks for the good wishes! I'll update as much as I can! :)
Reviewer: meme (Anonymous) · Date: August 27, 2009 05:44 AM · On: Clear Lines
O.k all you Brian lover is going to be mad at me but who care it’s only a made up story right. Can you explain what these guy are to each other because it can’t be a relationship. And who truly is the mature person in this thing that they have. I say Justin is and how old is Brian in this story he’s always been immature and dumb as hell in his thinking. o.K. so he had a fuck up childhood couldn’t he have found help along the way he fuck everybody he could and I know there must been a doctor or two he fuck. Wasn’t he fuck up in the head anyway long before he met Justin. And his first suicide attempt why not seek help than wasn’t he the great Brian fucking Kenney old enough to know that he was miss up and needed help and than the second attempt. So why do everyone think that Justin should be so forgiving and understanding not sometime but all the time when brain fuck up cause ready brain is going to do it again and again and it seem that he dose it when Justin with Brian. I believe that Brian ready love Justin very deeply and also hate him very deeply for being young carefree and cheating on him . Why not let Justin have some fun to and fuck someone and let Brain smell him it’s only fair. Isn’t this story about both of them?
Author's Response: Well, you have a perfect right to your opinion. If this is your opinion, it's really hard for me to understand why you'd even be reading this story; I would think you'd find it very upsetting.
Of course, you can read anything you want, and think anything you want about it. I can see how you might think these things. I personally disagree with you. I think both he and Justin have made mistakes. I think they're working through them. I think Justin could do that if he wanted to.
Your last question really got me thinking. Is this a story about both of them? Yes. But the focus of the story is Brian, and healing. While I could include more of what Justin is doing, it would take a lot of time, and I don't think it would contribute a great deal to the primary goal of the story -- to show them overcoming their problems and -- more than that -- Brian healing.
A story such as you're describing might be pretty interesting, and to some, probably a lot more realistic than my story. Everyone has different interpretations of B/J and QAF, of course. That's what makes people different. Your ideas are perfectly valid. Maybe you should write a story about them.
Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts on the story!
Reviewer: MissMoe (Anonymous) · Date: August 27, 2009 04:50 AM · On: Clear Lines
I see where Justin is going with the rules, but I wonder what will happen if Brian relapses. How detrimental will that be to Brian and their relationship? I did, however, like how Justin reacted and once again enjoyed his use of Brian's nickname. Now...if you keep writing these steemy sexy scenes I'm going to keep getting distracted! haha. Overall, well worth the torturous wait and I'm sure the rest of your story will be too. Despite the infrequent updates :) I hope you have fun with your family, I enjoy when my family comes over as well, even if it's kind of an interruption, it's a welcome one *hugs*
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like the story -- it's hard to say what will happen. There's a few ways that it could all turn out; I'm not even totally sure yet myself, although I am almost *no spoilers!*
*thought you'd like Justin calling him "Beautiful"* :)
Thanks for the good wishes! I will actually probably have a chapter up fairly soon, but then the one after that will be a while.
*smiles*
Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: August 26, 2009 11:29 PM · On: Clear Lines
I'm actually glad Brian tricked. If he hadn't of, I'd be concerned of the ramifications of 'too' quick a recovery for him. The tricking opened up discussion about his impulses. Impulses don't automatically disappear overnight because you've had some theraphy sessions. Recovery is a work in progress and Brian and Justin are doing the work, which as demonstrated in this chapter, is very hard work at times. Justin was justifibly angry, Brian, for the first time, showed shame, fear, of what he did. They talked, and made new rules to help with the impulse. I'd say it went down perfectly.
And the sex, well again very much in character for Brian. He fucked up, and his partner not only understood, but helped him by talking about it and coming up with some guideliness, so next time, they'd avoid unceccary pain. It was a gift Brian wasn't expecting so he wanted to show Justin, in the best way Brian knows how, his deep love for him. NO one does it better than Brian! lol
Great chapter!
Author's Response: I'm very glad to hear your reaction to this chapter. It is interesting that Brian was shameful and afraid and I think it really was the lack of clarity at that point in their relationship. Not married, they hadn't been totally exclusive when Justin was in NYC, then he came back and it left them in sort of a gray area. That, to me, is what made Brian so anxious -- the not knowing. He felt uncomfortable about the tricking and all, and that's a good sign... the reuls will help a lot I think.
I love your description of the rules as the gift Brian wasn't expecting. That is ***so perfect**. The rules will probably have some unanticipated consequences, but they are a genuine attempt at compromise, and Brian figures he's moving closer to fucking only Justin if he is always fucking Justin.... *oh Brian!*
That was the way I intended the sex scene, exactly... not so much guilt (though I can totally understand how it could be interpretted that way) but instead as you said, thanking him the best way he knows how!
*sighs happily*
Thanks so much for your thoughts and reactions to this chapter!
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: August 26, 2009 08:31 PM · On: Clear Lines
i'm sorry, but i think justin let brian off a little to easily for tricking. true it wouldn't have served much of a purpose to have a dragged out fight, but some anger on justin's part. setting new rules, really? what happens when justin breaks them again?
make up sex what hot but i feel it was flamed by guilt. is this going to be brian's fall back excuse whenever he screws up? "i didn't know what to do. i don't know how it happened?"
as much as i love this story and will miss the almost daily updates i'm a little miffed right now so it will be good to take a break.
Author's Response: This was a tough chapter to write, because every scenario I thought of it seemed like Justin was either overreacting or underreacting. The main focus of the chapter was, to me, Brian's need to have clear expectations. The truth of the matter was that they were not married, and hadn't been exclusive when Justin was in New York. So that left an area of ambiguity that was bad for Brian. While it's debatable how much good the rules have done for Justin in the past, the point I was really trying to make was that they did a world of good for Brian and that Justin realized that.
That said, I think the rules will have some unexpected consequences in the future, maybe some good and some bad. There are a couple of directions that it might take, depending upon how the rest of the story flows together by that point.
And Brian is going to have a session with Dr. Stevenson about his Babylon trip so he can better understand why he went, what triggered it and decide whether he wants to stop that / how to change the response.
I'm sorry to hear that your miffed right now -- I hope some of these explanations will help a little. I hope you'll continue reading -- I'll be posting as often as I can but definitely not with the old frequency.
Thanks so much for your thoughts and opinions on this chapter! :)
Reviewer: Minoloushe (Anonymous) · Date: August 26, 2009 06:42 PM · On: Clear Lines
Particular things I liked:
1. That Brian fucked up. It would be strange if his pain management strategies disappeared overnight. That’s not how therapy works - it’s a process not a cure. Brian’s explanation that he “wasn’t thinking” makes sense in that context. He feels bad and automatically does what he’s always done to feel better about himself or in control. It’s a self-comforting behaviour even if rationally he knows it doesn’t help.
2. Justin responded in a believable way rather than just dissolving into tears or having a tantrum. Yes, Justin was upset and disappointed but the response seemed proportionate. I mean, he’s known Brian for how long? At this point I just can’t see Justin being completely shocked or traumatised by Brian’s tricking.
3. The new rules. Because here’s the thing: everyone has relationship rules, it’s just that they’re usually “unspoken” negotiations about what is or isn’t acceptable. The only difference is that Brian and Justin are openly discussing it and their rules don’t involve monogamy. It doesn’t mean the rules can’t change or be re-negotiated if they don’t work. But given your take on why Justin may have become dissatisfied in season 5, and their history of miscommunication generally, I think it’s much better to be clear on these things. Discussion about threesomes before the event is usually a good idea for anyone *smiles*
Congratulations too on hitting the 100,000 word mark! I remember when you weren’t sure whether to keep going after chapter 4 *laughing* Have fun with your family : )
Author's Response: 1. I think you're right about the self-comforting aspect especially. That's a great way to put it. He is used to that and in the past hasn't allowed other to really comfort him at all, so it is the old pattern that hasn't been erased. And really, it's only in the next session that it will be fully addressed. Dr. Stevenson told Brian about reasons he tricks, but didn't discuss if/how/when to modify or end this behavior.
2.I had a hard time writing Justin's response. Everything seemed like either too much or too little. I like your insight about how it really can't be that shocking anymore to Justin. I mean, I think he expected more, but it really wasn't that clear. Their relationship was in a sort of gray area.
3. I completely agree that spoken, clear, acknowledged, explicit rules are best for their relationship. I think it's also what gives Brian a great deal of comfort...so much of his anxiety in this chapter was from not knowing what would happen when he got home. I think even if he knew the rule and broke it, he would have felt better because he knew where he stood. The next session with Dr. Stevenson is going to be on this subject....
*grins thinking about 100.000 word mark*. It's true I wasn't sure about going on after chapter 4. It's because I knew if I didn't stop there, it was going to be very, very long. And see? I was right! *grins more*
Thanks so much for your support and insight into the story!!!
Reviewer: templeton_ma (Anonymous) · Date: August 26, 2009 05:15 PM · On: Clear Lines
I think Justin has every right to feel hurt and angry at what Brian did. But this time instead of queening out and walking out, he calmed himself down and tried to solve the Big Brian Puzzle. I like this change. And it makes perfect sense that Justin realized what they needed was setting limits.
“I…I’m not sure I’ll want to know,” I admit softly.
Although this is really really sweet, (I did "Awwww..." when I read it) I also want to hit Brian in the head and say: "Hey, asshole, you think Justin actually enjoys hearing about your tricking?". Justin really has a big heart for accepting Brian's tricking. I feel so bad when Justin kept asking himself "Am I not enough?"
“Okay… I don’t know that I can promise no tricking. But… now that you’re in Pittsburgh. If I call, or if you called, and said you wanted to trick, the other person has to come along, for a threesome or just to watch.”
One thing I always wondered when I watch QAF on TV was why would BJ actually enjoy watching each other tricking? I can see it may be exciting when their relationship was new during the early seasons. But the screen when they were doing it with the other pair of swingers... I just don't see Justin enjoying any bit of it. Don't get me wrong. I have read a ton of QAF fanfic that have threesome or orgy scenes and I do love reading those fics. And I can imagine Brian wouldn't want anyone else to top Justin whcih is endearing. And I can imagine Brian wanting Justin to experience anything he wants to, including tricking. But I just have a hard time imagining Justin enjoy watching Brian topping someone else. Like in S5 when Justin returned from LA and saw Brian doing a trick in the loft, And Justin has this big sunshine smile on his face. On one hand, I love Justin for being so happy to see the Brian he knows well. On the other hand, a small part of me still wonders if he really was that happy which turns into all those troubles in later episode in S5.
Whip cream and Wax. Yeah I was thinking about Dr Stevenson when you read the scene. Ha Ha. He should tell the Doc next time so that the Doc will get some self-satisifaction for knowing Brian so well.
Thanks for giving us the warning ahead of time. Sometimes it can be frustrating when an author suddenly disappears for a while with no notice, although I can totally understand that life sometimes can take sudden turns. I will be going on a vacation for a couple of week starting Sep 12 also. So I may have to catch up on the chapters I miss after my return.
Author's Response: I know. Brian was so sweet and then it's like -- "okay Brian, don't you think that's how Justin feels!" *grin*.
I think Brian was just trying to promise something that seemed like a compromise. He wanted to get closer to being only with Justin by being always with Justin... You make a good point about Justin's feelings on it, too. I think it's a rule that will have unexpected consequences for them both...
Maybe I will tell Dr. Stevenson so he can be gratified by the whole thing.... *grins*
I hope you'll have a wonderful vacation!
Reviewer: Marny (Signed) · Date: August 26, 2009 04:47 PM · On: Clear Lines
I'm loving this so much, it's hearttouching (hmm is that a word in english?) ... beautiful writen. It's so believable. And the ending was so HOT !!
Have a good time with your family. Your story is definitely worth waiting for.
* hugs *
Author's Response: *grins* Thank you so much! I'm so glad it was believable. This chapter was a struggle with that because it seemed like any reaction on Justin's part would either be too much or too little.
*smiles that you liked the ending!*
I'll update as often as possible! *hugs back!*
Reviewer: Jess (Anonymous) · Date: August 26, 2009 03:07 PM · On: Clear Lines
I forgot to add in my last review that in the chapter before this when Brian arrives at Babylon he is thinking about Justin being at home and wondering if he will be hurt from him tricking but he still goes and does it anyway.
Then in this chapter when Justin tries to talk to him about it Brian just keeps saying he wasn't thinking but thats not really true, because he was thinking enough that he remebered Justin at home and accepted the fact that Justin might be hurt from it but he still chose to go and do it and risk Justin being hurt so he really can't claim he wasn't thinking. Thats just my oppinion though, I just think he should have used a different reason, lol.
Author's Response: I think you could be right.... it's hard to say. What I was trying to capture was that Brian just wasn't clear on what rules were in place at this point in their relationship. They aren't married; they tricked when Justin was in NYC, but now that he's back it isn't clear what rules are in place. They're sort of in a gray area, and what I wanted to show was that this gray area is a bad place for Brian. He wants and needs to know what the effects of his actions are going to be. When he doesn't, he gets anxious.
As for the actual tricking -- he did sort of suspect it would hurt Justin, and he did it anyway. I think it was mostly out of habit. Although Dr. Stevenson did tell him some of the reasons for his tricking, they haven't discussed it any farther than that -- how to stop it, for example. It's hard for Brian to articulate what causes him to go there, and that makes it harder for him to change it.
In an upcoming session with Dr. Stevenson, the topic of tricking and the rules will be discussed further.
Thanks so much for your thoughts on this chapter! :)
Reviewer: Jess (Anonymous) · Date: August 26, 2009 02:59 PM · On: Clear Lines
I just got through reading all the chapters, it took me a while, lol.
I don't see their rules working out very well. If Brian doesn't want to know about Justins tricking then on some level it either hurts him, makes him uncomfortable or jealous, or a combination of the three so then having them agree to only tricking with each other present is kind of contradicting that because if Brian doesnt want to think about Justin with other people then he is not going to cope with actually seeing it and participating in it.
I also thought Justin agreeing to those rules at this stage in their relationship was abit odd because Justin wants more than that so while it might only be temporary it will put another strain on their relationship which is disappointing when they were just starting to strengthen from all of the issues that came out in therapy.
The chapters are very well written and flow well and I really like the Gus interaction. Great story.
Author's Response: *smiles -- it is hard to get through all the chapters*
The rules will definitely have some unexpected consequences I think.... Brian is trying to compromise, but he might realize it isn't as easy as he wants to think.
I think Justin put the rules in mostly because he felt like Brian needed them, and I think Brian really does. It'll be interesitng to see how it plays out, for sure.
Thanks so much for the kind compliments! I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story!
Reviewer: lisama (Anonymous) · Date: August 26, 2009 02:02 PM · On: Clear Lines
I haven`t commented on this story earlier wich is a shame because I absolutely love it!!! Its one of the best I have read in a looong time!! Will be waiting patiently for updates, enjoy your visit from family! :)
Author's Response: Awww, thanks so much for commenting!!! I love hearing from readers! I'm so glad you like the story so much! I promise to update as much as I can!
Reviewer: Cait (Anonymous) · Date: August 26, 2009 01:08 PM · On: Clear Lines
Just wanted to let you know I am still reading and watching and waiting up for this wonderful story! Another chain of amazing chapters. I'll miss your super awesome quick updates but this is CERTAINLY a story worth waiting for. Eagerly. And with bated breath. ;) And how hot was the end of that chapter? Yum.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I'm glad you've enjoyed the chapters so much. I will certainly update as much as I can, but it can't be nearly as frequently. Thanks so much for your support and eagerness to continue with the story. :) *smiles!*
|
