Reviewer: Naughty_teaspoon (Signed) · Date: May 17, 2019 07:11 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
So far this is my favorite chapter. So raw. It literally had me in tears.
I love how you presented Brian feelings with the hustler and the tricks after Justin. And when Brian said what he thought when he paid the tuition... I chocked.
Brilliant.
Reviewer: SunshineSally (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2015 05:34 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
OMG MY POOR BABY!!!! I am so proud he has opened up to Justin though *sobs*
Reviewer: onebookwoman (Anonymous) · Date: March 15, 2010 10:48 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
This is a great story so far. It's been a long time since I've read a complete b/j story. So far, your interpretations of events, and the anaysis of Dr. Stevenson are believable to me.
I agree with you that a doctor would want his patients to abstain from drugs and alcohol. I disagree with the readers who want to justify all of Brian's vices, because he's using them for the wrong reasons. When he lights up a joint to relax at the end of a hard day, that's one thing. To have one or 2 drinks for the same purpose is not abuse. When he drinks or takes drugs to mask his own pain, that's when it's a problem.
To the people who feel parents are too prudish about drug/alcohol use: most parents have already gone through their own versions of excess, and they love their children so much that they don't want to see them come to harm. Even if I knew my kids were partying like that, I'd never say to them, "Have fun getting wasted on whatever you can get."
Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: October 24, 2009 10:58 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
Adding to canon in a realistic way is always safe and a good bet for a good read. This was an excellent chapter.
Author's Response: I had been very nervous about adding to canon; I know it upsets some people. It is a relief that it fit in well!
Reviewer: Tiffany (Anonymous) · Date: August 19, 2009 11:12 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
Amazing chapter... you could feel their pain in your writting.
Author's Response: Thank you so much -- it is good to know that this came through clearly to everyone as I intended. Thank you. :)
Reviewer: Sake (Anonymous) · Date: August 19, 2009 10:51 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
That was by far your most intense chapter yet. Very well written. Brought some tears to my eyes.
Author's Response: Wow... I'm...*should I be happy that I made people cry? Ummm, that seems so wrong!* happy that the story is meaningful enough to cause that sort of reaction too. The same thing happens to me sometimes.
Thank you so much. :)
Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2009 09:16 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
you are doing a wonderful job with this story.
me, i could see it happening. he was so lost for a while.
the shower scene was beautiful.
Author's Response: Thank you!! I agree -- I think "lost" is a perfect descriptor. He really just doesn't seem to know what to do with himself without Justin at all.
I'm relieved about the shower scene -- I wrote it and left it in entirely on impulse, which can be risky, so I'm glad it came together anyway. :)
Reviewer: scrub13 (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2009 08:30 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
Catching with the last few chapters after a short vacatiion and all I can say is WOW! Using the scene from early season 3 with the hustler to create a very real and very disturbing suiside ttempt on Brian's part was genius.
The fact that both Brian and Justin feel that they are hurting the other is so very sad. Justin blames himself for doubting Brian's love and Brian is berating himself for putting Justin through the pain that he believes consumes his life. Recovering from this "blame game" won't be easy, but at least they are talking to each other and not hiding their pain. They both need to remember that they have loads to live for(especially things besides each other).
To be honest I had always thought that Justin went through a suicidal phase after discovering Ethan's cheating ways. His illusion of love being about romanti declarations had just been shattered and he had thrown aside the stability that Brian had provided after the bashing. Justin seemed to have lost everything at that point. But your story is much better and I don't think their fragile psyches could withstand both of them being suicidal.
One again wondeful job and breathlessloy waiting for the next chapter.
Author's Response: *grins* I'm glad that you've enjoyed the last few and especially that the 302-303 placement seems realistic. I was nervous about adding to canon, but thought the story would really benefit from it, and I certainly felt a huge amount of hopelessness on Brian's part at that time.
You make a great point -- they do have a lot going for them, even outside of just each other. I need to find ways to work this into the story more, for sure. Thanks so much for the suggestion!
I can see what you mean about Justin, too. That would be an interesting path to follow, though I don't think I would be the best writer for it myself. I don't think I "get" Justin enough to detail his feelings, but I sure would love to read it!! And *whew* if they were both suicidal at the same time, it would be the most depressing QAF fic ever, or close to it...
I hope the next chapters will prove to be worth the wait, and I hope your vacation was marvelous. :) Thanks for your thoughts!! :)
Reviewer: Suse (Anonymous) · Date: August 19, 2009 07:18 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
My god that was gut wrenching. I was grinding my teeth the whole time Iwas reading. Paying his tuition so that he would be taken care of, makes so much sense. The shower scene and Justin needing to have Brian take him, his feelings of desperation just poured out in that scene. Bravo, excellent chapter!
Author's Response: *Perversely happy that she caused said "gut wrenching"* *swears that she is not a sado-masochist*!!! LOL!
No, seriously though -- I want to thank you for your response and for being invested enough in the story to have a strong response. It is wonderful feedback and I'm so glad that you felt the chapter worked well. :)
*smiles *
Reviewer: annabelle (Anonymous) · Date: August 19, 2009 05:54 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
Add to cannon all you want this story is still the best!
Author's Response: !!! LOL !!!
Well!! I like the sound of that!!
Thank you so much for the compliment... and for what I will take to be a free license to add to QAF *evil gleam in eye, manically happy grin*.
J/K! I don't think I'll have to add much... though I can't promise I won't ever do it again. And if anyone has a problem with it, I guess I'll let them know that I had your permission! ;) *all in good fun!*
**Big smile and thank you!! ***
Reviewer: Lorie (Anonymous) · Date: August 19, 2009 03:09 AM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
OMG the way you wrote that makes so much sense. Brian did look very depressed that day. Love the way you wrote that. This story is wonderful.
Author's Response: Thanks so much!!!!! I'm glad that I could make a convincing case for my interpretation, and having this feedback is really useful to me so I know I can build upon that scene.
Thank you so much for taking the time to review and I hope you'll love the next chapters, too. :)
Reviewer: templeton_ma (Anonymous) · Date: August 18, 2009 11:21 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
first of all. Thank you so much for the daily update. It really gives me a great start of the day before work ;-)
The shower scene feels very natural. I mean that's probably one of the best way to calm themselves down so that they can discuss the issue again. And I can totally see why Justin behaved that way because of the pain.
The timing 302-303 also makes sense for the most part. I can imagine Brian trying to kill himself when I saw his psychotic expression after he fucked the trick on the dinner table. But to be honest, I don't get a vibe that Brian was as depressed (to the extreme of suicidal) when Justin showed up in his loft about the tuition. I actually felt that at that point Brian realized that it hurts less to keep Justin in his life even just as friends. When he asked Justin to do the poster, he really wanted to help Justin out. We can see he almost throw his body towards Justin in the diner after the poster proposal and when Justin was in his loft discussing the poster. But there was a sense of warmth coming off Brian. I didn't sense a suicidal intention there. However, with that said, the way you insert the suicide attempt can still fit into the story plot. Brian can act like normal in public but when he is all alone in his loft, he could have done anything. Just like the scarfing scene...
Author's Response: :) Thanks so much for your thoughts on this chapter! I see what you mean about the 302-303 timing; it was hard to choose a time and I don't think any one place would be perfect. I was imagining that his decision to involve Justin more in the Carnival was a sort of after he survived the attempt, deciding just to have Justin in his life somehow and that would be better than nothing. But you're right, his mood is different at that point and it is hard to say what would go on behind closed doors, especially with Brian since he is good at masking emotions, both good and bad!
I'm happy that the shower scene worked -- I hoped that it would give the sense of Justin wanting just to give something to Brian, anything at that point, because of the desperation he felt.
I'm glad I can help to start the day off right! I usually start mine by reading reviews, because that always cheers me up. :)
Reviewer: MissMoe (Anonymous) · Date: August 18, 2009 07:20 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
Woooow that was an intense chapter. I can't say that I have just one favorite part when the whole chapter really had me enthralled. I'm an angst-lover as well so I truly enjoyed the continued back and forth of 'the blame game' between Brian and Justin, both in speech and thoughts, in regards to Brian's attempts of suicide. You definetley have the right balance of emotion from each character because writing on this topic and depicting the character while trying to keep them IC can get really difficult, but I think you pulled it off excellently. Oh, and that shower scene made perfect sense, if anything it showed how empathetic Brian and Justin are towards eachother.Now I am so excited for the next chapter, I'm very interested in how the Mikey part will by done. :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much -- I'm glad because you're right, the balance can be hard, especially because the key is how terrible and guilty they both feel; if it were lopsided or one-sided it would be a very different chapter and a much easier issue to resolve.
The Mikey part will be interesting -- I don't want it to end up too anti-Mikey, I'm not a huge fan of "anti-" anything, but it may end up rather....harsh. Though hopefully fair.
Thanks so much for your thoughts and support! :)
Reviewer: HalfTime1030 (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2009 06:55 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
Wow... Just found this story and am totally in LOVE with it! Fantastic storyline and writing - can't wait for more! :)
Author's Response: Yippee!!! New reviewer!!! Hi!!! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review! I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying the story! Thanks for your kind comments! I hope you'll like the next chapters, too.
Reviewer: Minoloushe (Anonymous) · Date: August 18, 2009 04:26 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
Angst, angst and more angst *smiles happily to self*
I’m sure that’s not really the right response here - but it's oh so true. I think you picked an absolutely perfect place within canon to insert the second attempt too. The hustler scene always seemed so utterly bleak and poignant to me. *blushes about the shout out in the previous chapter* I’m glad my shrieking rant was of benefit to someone!
Sorry, no insightful comments here tonight. I’m just going to wallow around in the angst some more : )
Author's Response: *smiles* I had a feeling this chapter would be the angst-lovers dream. More of the same coming for Chapter 22, and 23 will just have to be some kind of break for everyone (I know I"ll need one by then!).
That scene with the hustler always, always makes me want to cry; I get this feeling of just hopelessness out of it, which is probably why I picked that time frame for his other attempt. Or, rather, one of the others.
Yes, your rant was quite beneficial! :)
*hopes you enjoy your wallowing* :)
Reviewer: Annjeela (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2009 01:36 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
This is a brilliant story. Well written, as close to canon as I've ever seen while still expanding it.
I am finding it absolutely compelling.
Thanks for it.
Author's Response: *Swallows and blushes* Thank you so much! That is such a kind thing to say; it means so much to me that people are able to enjoy and believe in something about this story, and it inspires me to continue to put the most effort into it that I can.
Thank you for your generous words! :)
Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: August 18, 2009 01:01 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
Oh My....... The timing makes alot of sense because if Brian would have done something like that in canon... it would have been at his lowest point ... which was when Justin left him for Ethan ... Thank goodness Brian had such a violent reaction to the pills and Beam... because there would have been no Mikey to the rescue......
Author's Response: I'm so glad that you feel like this timing makes sense -- I always felt so much hopelessness in the hustler scene that it just...seemed natural to me, and I'm glad it makes sense to others, too.
It is lucky for Brian -- I think he figured the sleeping pills would put him out so he wouldn't wake up from the illness, but it didn't work.
I think you hit on a key issue -- I think that's how Brian is dividing "serious" attempts from "half-assed" -- the serious are the ones in which he expects no one to be around to do anything about it. Hence, in the scarfing, he thought everyone would be at Mikey's party, Justin would be worried about prom, Mikey about moving, etc. and so no one would bother to check on him for while (though conceivably he'd think that Mikey would search him out, but I think he felt pretty neglected / ignored by Mikey at this point, and hurt that Mikey was leaving).
Thanks so much for your thoughts!! :)
Reviewer: edom (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2009 12:46 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
Now I have to learn how to breath, again.
I feel so bad for these two, the things they do to themselves and the other blames himself for is heart breaking.
The shower scene is very believable, and Brian probably does think that it's not as good without Justin being with him. He can't just take him like that.
The place you chose for the second attempt is perfect, his eyes in that scene where Justin comes by to thank him for tuition is so haunted, he is so hurt and it clearly shows (making Gale the best actor ever to show things in his eyes like that, but I digress).
It also makes perfect sense that he would try to keep Justin in his life after that by getting him to help with the poster.
A hard chapter to read, but very good.
Author's Response: I know, this chapter is a tough one. The next will be too, with more anger (hence, the Mikey aspect).... Soon I hope they'll be able to move past this.
I'm so glad that you feel like the timing of his attempt makes sense; it was a tough call but I've always felt that Brian seemed really hopeless and just empty around that time, so I went for it.
I know! How does Gale manage to make Brian so closed emotionally, and yet express so much? I mean, *how*? Amazing.
Thank you very much for your opinions and support on this chapter! *hopes the breathing is going better now!*
Reviewer: Michelle (Anonymous) · Date: August 18, 2009 12:40 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
I can't believe the last time I reviewed it was Chapter 4! (My apologies on that - although I have been keeping up =] ) We've come so far and I'm extremely happy you decided to continue the story. Your story is one the most well written and interesting fics I've ever read, truly. The way you've written Brian is out-of-character (in context to the show that is - being that here he actually allows himself to be vulnerable even though it's hard) yet not because I feel if Brian were to actually let himself go and express the feelings or memories he's been holding, he'd end up how you've characterized him. I feel you've hit the nail on the head with this one. Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: *smiles* I'm glad you decided to review again! *blushes* I'm flattered that you would like this story so much. It means a great deal to me because I know there are some great ones out there. Having feedback and support from readers like you is what makes me want to ensure that every chapter is as good as I can make it.
Keeping Brian in character - yet showing a lot of growth -- is like walking a tight rope.. I' m glad that the characterization of his internal life seems right. :)
Thanks again for your very, very generous words *blushes again* and for continuing with the story yourself. I hope you'll enjoy the upcoming chapters!
Reviewer: Cait (Anonymous) · Date: August 18, 2009 12:26 PM · On: On the Bathroom Floor
Loved! This was so intense and wonderful and moving. I loved it. Sorry this is not more coherent but I am just so wrapped up in the story and the way you're writing it and I can't WAIT to see what will happen next. I'm sure it will be amazing!
Author's Response: *big smile*. That's okay, your feedback is wonderful and perfectly coherent! It's wonderful to hear that you're caught up in the story. I will have another chapter posted around 2AM Eastern Time (US), just in case you literally *can't* wait *smiles*.
Thanks so much for taking the time to leave such an enthusiastic comment -- it really does help me to gain momentum for the upcoming chapters. :)
|
