Reviewer: Heather (Anonymous) · Date: March 09, 2010 03:10 AM · On: Bearing Gifts

I wish there was a warmth to this story :( I want to like this story it's a great idea for Brian to face his demons, but I don't feel anything when I read this. This story would be so much better if the characters were let off their leashes and given room to move and tell us how they are feeling. They all seem a like robotic versions of the gang or something.

The only sound in the apartment is the water streaming down against the tiles and the glass. ( tell us what the water sounds like describe the steam on the tiles and the glass.)

Those are the types of details that bring a story to life.

In the bedroom, I light a joint and let the smoke fill my lungs. I can feel myself relaxing, feel the tension slipping away, the memories of tonight getting softer around the edges. ( is Brian sitting on the bed? Laying back? standing in front of his closet? Where is the tension being relieved. Does he feel it in his back loosing his muscles? Is the tightness in his brow go away? How does the joint taste?)

Off to read a bit more.

Author's Response:

Thanks very much for the feedback. I honestly do appreciate it. 

If you dislike the story so much, I hope you don't feel compelled to continue reading for another 50 chapters.

Reviewer: Kitty_Ballou (Signed) · Date: August 23, 2009 01:49 AM · On: Bearing Gifts

*gasps*

*clears my throat*

 

F-Fucking ama-amazing... *tries hard to breathe* - *ggggg* Excellent chapter, thanks soooo much! *hugs*

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: August 06, 2009 08:07 AM · On: Bearing Gifts

Wow.... Jack and Joan are something else... it's a wonder Brian is as normal as he is growing up with them as parents.... as usual Justin made his day even from long distance....

 

Author's Response:

I kept thinking of that psychologist Brian talks to at the Baths after Justin's bashing when he says, "For someone who has enough disorders to merit your own classification in the Diagnostic and Statistical manual, you are one of the most well-adjusted and high-functioning bastards I know." :)

It really is amazing the strength, drive and honesty that Brian has, given what he has gone through. We'll see even more of it in future chapters, as the flashbacks continue for a while (sadly for Brian).

Thanks so much for commenting; it's very helpful to have readers' responses before posting the next chapter. :)

Reviewer: Pastrychef4 (Anonymous) · Date: August 05, 2009 08:08 AM · On: Bearing Gifts

Simply wonderful!  You've done a fantastic job of describing the hopelessness and despair of living in the Kinney household.  Poor Brian - he suffered terribly!  Glad that he has Justin's support.

Great chapter!  Looking forward to the next update!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much! I'm really glad that those descriptions are coming through the way I wanted them to. I think it's important that the flashbacks are vivid so readers know what he's going through and Brian will surely minimize it when he's telling about it.  The psychologist has his work cut out for him with this case I think. 

 

So glad you're enjoying it and thank you for reviewing. :)