Reviewer: mysid (Anonymous) · Date: May 22, 2008 12:32 AM · On: Chapter 3

I'm all for anyone telling off Craig Taylor, but may I make a suggestion?  Most readers don't want to read it twice.

Yes, Daphne did have to repeat the conversation for Brian, but she didn't have to repeat it to us.  We read the scene the first time.

You could have written something like, "And then Daphne told Brian about the scene in the restaurant and everything that was said."  We'd know she told him without having to skim through repitition.

I hope this helps you in your future writing.