Reviewer: DavidR (Anonymous) · Date: June 21, 2010 07:34 AM · On: Chapter 36

I am not buying in to that concept that Justin was sort of lucky that

Brian would/could have/maybe even should have found someone

other than Justin AND been happy and fulfilled.  That Justin always

assumed that Brian would always be available or that no one else

could ever get to Brian’s heart.  What we read was Chris’s opinion 

and a very self serving opinion..  Chris has and is everything except

one thing – he is not Justin Taylor. 

 

Brian Kinney without Justin Taylor is no longer Brian Kinney.  Justin

Taylor without Brian Kinney ceases to be Justin Taylor. 

 

The story is absolutely terrific.  Terrific enough for me to disagree and

write about it.

 

Thanks for another great chapter.  While I am here I simply can’t wait until Brian ‘kicks Ted’s ass to the curb’.  He certainly deserves it. 

Ooops, one more thing – bye Melanie, you certainly are a piece of

shit.

 

That’s it.

 

Thanks again,

DavidR

Author's Response:

What a perfectly beautiful observation, in re Brian without Justin and Justin without Brian.  Would it surprise you to know that I agree with you, but the place we need to reach is the point at which THEY know it - the BOTH of them.  Eventually, we hope to get them there, but meanwhile, the road remains bumpy.  So what else is new?  :-)

Thanks so much for your comment, Hon, and I promise you I have absolutely NO problem with readers questioning or disagreeing.  You should always feel free to speak up.  And Yes, one of the great joys of writing such a story is the dispensation of justice.  We're not completely there yet - but we will be.

CYN

Reviewer: Carlina1983 (Signed) · Date: June 21, 2010 06:58 AM · On: Chapter 36

I think this chapter was awsome. I"m so glad that Brian fianlly put Ted and Mel in their place. I know Ted is still going to get his punishment, but what he did to Mel just put the icing on the cake. She need to get what was coming to her, I hope Lindsey does not fall back in her trap.

The whole Chris and Justin dialog had me hating Chris a lot. I think Chris was somewhat right that Justin didn"t think that someone would be able to see the "real Brian" beside him. I can see Justin believing that theroy, because Brian didn't give others the time of day, he would sleep with his tricks and throw them away. The open door policy did matter to Justin, he delt with it because it was what Brian wanted and he didn't think Brian would go off and find someone else. So i don't see what the problem was with Justin thinking that way, yea he left time and time again. He should've realized what he had to begin with. But Brian didn't make it easy for him to stay either when he's pushing him out the door to begin with. What makes Chris very unlikable now  is the way he talks to Justin. It's ok for him not to like Justin I get that, he's in love with Brian. But to continually call him "young Justin, kid, and little boy" just isn't right. Justin came to talk to him like a man and for him to degrade Justin that way is very direspectful and immuture on his part. He treats Justin like he better than him, like Justin dosen't know what he's talking about, and like he's some little kid. I think the way he downs Justin that way is him disregarding Brian feeling and the reasons he fell in love with Justin in the first place. This chapter made me really dislike Chris. I personally thinks Justin does have a right to be worried about Chris's place in Brian's life, if Chris is going to continually act and talk to him like he's some useless kid and not Brian's partner (a man). Justin should be worried that maybe Chris will try to take Brian away from him.  

I just really love this story and have stong views when it comes to certain situations. I'm just so happy Brian and Justin are finally togther and needs to stay that way. Keep up the great work, can't wait until the next update (a little scared), but all in all can't wait.

Hugs :)

Carlina 

Author's Response:

Please don't feel apologetic for your feelings.  All any writer can hope for is that readers will respond strongly, whether agreeing or disagreeing with the points made.  I'm just so grateful that it matters to you, that you feel strongly about what should happen  - and I absolutely have no problem with some readers not liking Chris or his treatment of Justin.  It's all part of the story and where it'e leading.

I just hope you will all continue to read and contribute your thoughts and let me know what you think.

CTN

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 21, 2010 01:46 AM · On: Chapter 36

You're a master of canon; your wit was outstanding. You choice of words breathtaking, and your plot development genius. I guess I liked it :) I'm very amused by the emotional outpouring of your reviewers and by the possession your readers own in this story. You have a major hit on your hands and Midnight Whispers is the winner since you published here.

I'm so looking forward to our next chapter both with anticipation and fear.

I have theories but I can't begin to foresee where you're going with this.

Thank you for yet another most excellent read.

Author's Response:

It is always a huge thrill to get a thoughtful comment from a gifted writer.  Makes me feel like I'm doing something right, and I'm delighted that you like it.  When you can get your readers invested in where a story is going, you're obviously hitting the mark, and I love it when people begin to theorize.  Shows they're engaged.

Also, just to be clear, I didn't mean to equate the previous poster with flaming.  Trust me - I've been flamed sufficiently to recognize the difference, and I absolutely agree that every reader has the right to disagree or dispute a writer's point of view. In fact, I think it's incumbent on any writer to point out that we are all free to look at things from different perspectives, and yes, I suspect you're right that there might be some cultural distortions.  Thus it was actually just a little tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement.  Hope it didn't come across otherwise.

As for benefiting Midnight Whispers, I think it's more like it benefits me.  After getting bushwhacked some years ago at an infamous archive site, which shall remain nameless but its initials are FF.N, and having massive volumes of posted fic disappear with the touch of a single button, I got smart and figured out that it's always best to post on two different sites - and I still do today.  The other site is more of a back-up type location, a place which does not specialize in any particular fandom or pull in a huge audience, but provides secure storage.  At any rate, I am truly enjoying being here, and thoroughly appreciate the welcome and the ambiance.

CYN

Reviewer: templeton_ma (Anonymous) · Date: June 20, 2010 06:53 PM · On: Chapter 36

I have been thinking about the conversation between Chris and Justin for hours. I can see your point that Justin never considered that someone else would be able to get inside Brian's heart. (And truth be told, Chris did get in, even though not as deep as Justin did). As a reflect upon all 5 seasons, I got to wonder if Justin had ever really considered himself lucky (as Chris pointed out). OK, so Brian is not as innocent since he did make it hell for Justin time and time again. But still. And what I just realized was that even though I am and will forever be a BJ fangirl, at that moment when Chris rode off, I actually wish that Chris was the one who captured Brian's heart. He met Brian when Brian was a vulnerable man with his external beauty destroyed. He fell in love with the Brian without the external illusion. This is a huge contrast to Justin falling in love with (firstly) the face of God in 101.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for saying that.  An author feels that she's truly succeeded when she can get readers to consider an alternative point of view.  I hope you continue to look at things from your own unique point of view.

CYN

Reviewer: jizabel (Signed) · Date: June 20, 2010 04:13 PM · On: Chapter 36

I loved this chapter. The dialog was great especially the converstaion between Justin and McFed. I love the idea that Justin understood that he is not the only one that can figure our Brian!!!!Great work!!!

Author's Response:

Thank you for understanding what I'm trying to say.  Yes, Justin is ultimately the possessor of Brian's heart, but the opposite is also true, and they both need to see it.  Hope you continue to enjoy.

CYN

Reviewer: debv3 (Signed) · Date: June 20, 2010 06:33 AM · On: Chapter 36

Great chapter!!!! I love Cynthia more and more every chapter. Poor Lindsey she really is blind most of the time. Good riddance to Mel although I have the feeling we have not seen the last of her.

What is coming up next? a very ominous ending to this chapter?

Author's Response:

So glad my readers are seeing the strength and beauty of Cynthia's character.  I always thought Cowlip missed out on a wonderful opportunity in keeping her relegated to the background in the TV show.

And yes, it is ominous.  Plenty of trauma still to come.  Hope you enjoy the ride.

CYN

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: June 19, 2010 02:14 AM · On: Chapter 35

I just want to let you know that I am totally in love with this story, but now that they have added all these large graphics to the home page and in the archive list, I have a hard time getting up here.  I have a dial up modem, and it takes forever to load all the images, then half the time it just freezes. 

Do you post this anywhere else where there are no graphics? I would love to continue reading it.  It's just very frustrating waiting for the pages to load. 

Thank you.

Trisha

I limited the size of the banners so your loading time is shorter. I also made the 'Stories Updated in the Last 12 Days' the first page you log on to. Sorry for the problems Trisha. We don't want to lose any readers. Thank you for raising your problems as I'm sure more have the same situation.

I don't know we have a problem unless people tell me. I also greatly reduced the size of the Home Page from over 12MB down to less than 4MB today.

~JTSecrets

 

 

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your support, Trisha.  I'm delighted that you're enjoying it, and I'm sorry that you're having problems.  But I do have to confess that I love the graphics Bob has provided, since I'm a complete imbecile about such things.

And a huge thank you to Bob for stepping in and finding a solution to the problem while preserving the lovely gift of the illustration.

CYN

Reviewer: firefly (Anonymous) · Date: June 19, 2010 02:08 AM · On: Chapter 35

Really excellent chapter.  So glad Brian is finally letting them know the score.  I love this story!!

Author's Response:

Thanks, Hon.  It's one of the nicest facets of writing B/J - letting Brian speak for himself, because - in the truest sense - nobody does it better, which reminds me of a scene I need to write, before I lose the inspirations.  So glad you're enjoying.

CYN

Reviewer: kcurtsinger (Anonymous) · Date: June 15, 2010 11:24 AM · On: Chapter 35

Oh I can't wait to see what Brian does with Ted!  My heart goes out to Chris, I can't help it-he's such a good guy.

Brian and Justin finally back where they should be. So sad Justin has to hear about his piece of shit father but better the truth be known. I could ramble on and on-this is one of my favorite fics to read. Update soon I hope!

Author's Response:

Yes, the rough times are not done yet, but I figure that they can stand almost anything as long as they're together.  Although please don;'t assume that all the problems are done, because they're not, but, on the other hand, would it really be Brian/Justin if everything ran smooth?  Still, I hope it continues to please and interest you.

CYN

Reviewer: Suse (Anonymous) · Date: June 15, 2010 07:38 AM · On: Chapter 35

lol it's been a long day, just realized I didn't give my name on my review. It shows as Anonymous. I also forgot to give a rating so will do that now.

Reviewer: galenut (Anonymous) · Date: June 15, 2010 06:47 AM · On: Chapter 35

great chapter keep up the good work

Author's Response:

Doing my best, Hon, and good to see you here.  And I adore the pix you post on IHJ; Very, very inspiring - not to mention majorly hot. :-)

CYN

Reviewer: Jasmine (Signed) · Date: June 15, 2010 12:04 AM · On: Chapter 35

That was some appetizer! What a great chapter... and the meeting to end all mettings! I love that you had idiot Ted slinking out like the snake that he is...Ted and Mel deserve whatever they get for their foolishness and greed! I can't wait for the update...such a well written story filled with intrigue and romance!!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for such lovely comments, and every author loves it when he or she succeeds in getting readers to share her feelings about certain characters.  As for Ted and Mel, their just desserts are on the way, and I hope you guys like how it works out.

CYN

Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: June 14, 2010 09:32 AM · On: Chapter 35

I so love this chapter!  It's all coming together now!  Ted will get his, (God I hate him) And I can't wait until Mel gets hers as well!  Justin is going to be hurt when he finds out his father is involved in the attack on Brian. 

Love their reunion, and I love the way you are handling Chris' reaction to it all. Another great update Cyn!

Author's Response:

Thanks, Friend, and I'm glad you're enjoying the journey.  And I hope you will be pleased with the comeuppance that awaits our sneaky little slimeballs.  Hope you continue to enjoy.

CYN

Reviewer: TrinTiff (Signed) · Date: June 14, 2010 08:48 AM · On: Chapter 35

BRAVO!! Excellent! Wonderful! Splendid! What a satisfying chapter all the way around!! From Brian's declaration of undying love to Justin, to Justin feeling jealousy, to Chris trying to accept that it's over between him and Brian, to Justin allowing Chris to kiss Brian, to "The Meeting" and Cynthia's story, and finally to Brian's conference call ... it was absolutely amazing!!  At the end when Ted was skulking out, I wanted to stand up and cheer!!  :-D

Hugs, hugs, hugs!

Cindy

Author's Response:

Thanks, Hon.  I hope you'll still feel like cheering with the next installment, because this little debacle is not over yet.

CYN

Reviewer: Anno53 (Anonymous) · Date: June 14, 2010 05:44 AM · On: Chapter 35

Wow! So much going on this chapter! My favorite parts were Chris trying to come to terms with Justin and Cynthia's recitation on how far back her loyalty goes with Brian.

Ted is in deep shit! Great chapter, Cyn!

Author's Response:

Thansk so much for your interest, and yes, Ted has only just begun to understand the mess he's in.

CYN

Reviewer: Jenn (Anonymous) · Date: June 14, 2010 04:17 AM · On: Chapter 35

I haven't commented in so long!  But I've been lurking and reading and whatnot.  I'm soooo glad that I've kept doing that after Brian got hurt.  Cause this fic is getting better and better!

Love that Justin is there.  Feel a lil sorry for Chris...I hope he finds his own 'Brian' 

But really why I wanted to comment was - while Ted was reading his list of crap and stuff...I kept thinking 'It would be totally awesome if Cynthia had Brian on speaker phone...'  And she did!  And that was awesome!  And..well I can't wait for the next chapter.

Again...so glad I didn't stop reading!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for hanging in there, and ye, I do know that reading about what those bastards did to Brian was really difficult.  I do hope that I've made up for it in some ways.  Hope you continue to enjoy.

CYN

Reviewer: luisa (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2010 01:13 AM · On: Chapter 34

I HAD READ THIS CHAPTER 4 TIMES AND STILL WANT TO READ IT ONE MORE OR MAYBE TWO  I DON'T KNOW IF ILL GET ENOUGH OF IT. i THINK IS THE BEST CHAPTER IN THE STORY ,YOU AR VERY GOOD AT THIS, I'M NOT A CRITIC OR NOTHING LIKE THAT, JUST A READR BUT I LOVE TH WAY YOU WROTE THEIR ENCOUNTER, HOW YOU MADE ME FEL LIKE I WAS THERE,LIKE I WAS FEELING THEIR PAIN AND THEIR LOVE AND ALL THOSE EMOTIONS THEY WERE GOING TRHOUGH.

I 'D BEEN READING THIS STORY BUT I DON'T THINK I'D COMENTED BEFORE,HOPE IS NOT TOO LATE.

GREAT WORK.

Author's Response:

Never too late, Friend, and if I managed to make you feel as if you were there, beside them, that is the perfect definition of success for a writer, and I'm delighted that you felt it.  Thanks so much for speaking up.

CYN

Reviewer: shimayo (Anonymous) · Date: June 07, 2010 01:34 PM · On: Chapter 34

You. Are. Absolutely. Amazing.

Author's Response:

Thanks you so much, my friend.  You do something - namely pithy and succinct - much better than I do, and I love it.

CYN

Reviewer: Chloris01 (Signed) · Date: June 07, 2010 05:19 AM · On: Chapter 34

 

Wonderful chapter, again. Every reaction, every feeling (fear, laugh, despair, love, anger, yearning...) are perfectly written. And for a once, it's all about love. I like this part :

Justin pulled back slightly, just enough to speak. "Mine," he breathed, with absolute certainty. "Yes?"
The smile was breathtaking. "Yes."
And Justin felt the truth of it. It was not now and never would be about possession or endless fidelity or monogamy. It had always been about two hearts that could reach out and touch each other, against all odds. Not because of promises or pledges or commitments or intentions, but because of the purest, most elemental, most fundamental of reasons. Because of love without limits, without reservations, without boundaries. Without locks.
"You love me," whispered Justin.
"Yes."
"Enough to let me go."
"Yes."
"And enough to keep me close, if that's what it takes to make me happy."
"Yes."
"Brian?"
"Yes?"
"I want you inside me. I want to spend the rest of my life . . . feeling you inside me, even when I'm not with you. I always want to feel you inside me. Yes?""

That night on the beach is a miracle, and a promise and a commitment ... a time almost too good to be true. I dread the return to reality.

Author's Response:

I'm delighted that you're pleased, and that you found that night "miraculous".  I was aiming for "magical", so I hope I came close.  As for the return to reality, of course, it must come, but maybe they can carry a little piece of magic with them, to see them through the rough times.  That's what I'm hoping, anyway, and I depend on readers like you to let me know if I get it right.

CYN

Reviewer: Four Times (Anonymous) · Date: June 07, 2010 04:32 AM · On: Chapter 34

I've read this four times now and must stop myself from a fifth or my husband really will divorce me. Too good!!! (I really hope you make a living from writing!?)

Author's Response:

Okay, I definitely do NOT want to be held accountable for that, so please go pay attention to your significant other - and just put Gale/Randy=Brian/Justin right out of your mind (and if you can really do that, you're a much better woman than I am).  Thanks so much for your interest and your comment, and I wish I COULD live off what I write.  Unfortunately, life is never that simple.  :)

CYN

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 06, 2010 02:58 PM · On: Chapter 33

Oh my God; what a chapter.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 06, 2010 01:26 PM · On: Chapter 31

God, Ted is such an idiot. Love to see how this turns out.

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: June 06, 2010 07:39 AM · On: Chapter 29

I'm forever amazed at the complexity of your chapters. Ted and his big mouth rule the day :)

Reviewer: Carlina1983 (Signed) · Date: June 06, 2010 03:52 AM · On: Chapter 34

So beautiful, I loved it. :)

Hugs,

Carlina

Author's Response:

Thanks for taking the time to comment, as this reaction  is exactly what every author hopes for.

CYN

Reviewer: pfodge (Signed) · Date: June 06, 2010 02:04 AM · On: Chapter 34

I have no words.   This chapter was simply amazing. 

Author's Response:

I think your words worked just fine.  Thank you for such a lovely comment.

CYN

Reviewer: EstherGreenwood (Signed) · Date: June 06, 2010 01:13 AM · On: Chapter 34

Don't get me wrong, you are a very talented writer and storyteller...but I've had a really difficult time reading this story because: A) Talk about an emotional rollercoaster! and B) I am one of those ninnies who can't stand the boys being apart, or Brian/Other. Still, I'm glad I kept reading anyway because this latest chapter was amazing. It has to be one of the most beautiful-yet-kind-of-heartbreaking reunions I have ever read.

Author's Response:

Thanks for your comment, and I'm delighted that you liked where we wound up, although there is still a long way to go before we get to the end of the story.  Still, although there will certainly be rough moments ahead, I hope that the connection between these two lovely individuals will be enough to comfort anyone of faint heart.

CYN

Reviewer: Chloris01 (Signed) · Date: May 24, 2010 11:21 PM · On: Chapter 33

This has become boring for you to read always the same things, but I can only repeat again how much I admire your writing. Every detail is perfectly chosen and the dialogue is always brilliant.
I loved the work you have done with Brian's past. The summary is rather exhilarating and if you want to tell a little more, no problem!

I like what Gina Marie said about your conception of Brian. Mostly because that's what made me noticed another french reader: Brian becomes a kind of super hero that nobody can (or should!) resist. Personally, I do not mind, especially because this way of describing Brian is balanced by the other characters, more realistic, but equally strong and equally well built. Brian becomes "bigger than life", a symbol. And the amazing thing is that you answer some of this remark. Brian himself acknowledges its own limitations: "I don't do fragile" "I let myself forget that it was just an image. I let myself buy into my own bullshit, and believe that I could protect myself . . . and everybody else that I cared about. And worse than that, I made him believe it too. "
"You can't love . . . what you don't know." And you even make a refernce to his "secret identity" !

Finally, I rarely read a story that explores both the deepest feelings and the most hidden. Although I can not help but think that Corey has exceeded the limits in "violating" Brian's feelings of guilt and of shame . «  Because I always had to have it my way, and couldn't see that I was putting him at risk. Because I've never been good enough for him. He deserves - so much more than I could ever give him. It's always been . . . my fault. ». That's heartbreaking.

It is true that mental suffering is harder to bear than physical pain. "They're laughing," he said in a strange, flat voice. "How does a man do something like this . . . and laugh about it?"

I  love Christ. He is here to protect Brian and their interaction is amazing. I like the way he manage to help Brian after and during this terrible flashback.

The end of this chapter is breathtaking. I'm looking forward for the next.

Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: May 24, 2010 10:03 AM · On: Chapter 33

I just have to once again reiterate what a talented writer you are. Your attention to detail is...stunning.  And I use the word stunning because you not only are technically skillful in describing a scene; you do so with a brilliance that brings life and emotion to the image you are creating be it a multi dimensional situation, or an intimate glimpse into a characters thoughts and emotions.  You did this superbly with Brian through his session with Cory and his conversation with Chris afterwards.  You never have him just come out and ‘say’ what he’s thinking or feeling, (which would be boring imo) but you subtly have him giving us insight into his inner most thoughts.  I love it when he said he didn’t ‘learn’ anything.  Remembering and learning, as he so aptly put, were two different things. He already knew all he remembered… Again, a stunning representation of the ‘inner complexities of Brian fucking Kinney’. 

 

 

 

His relationship with Chris has touched my heart.  On many levels Chris is a ‘balm’ to Brian, one, I believe, Brian won’t dismiss easily, or ever.  This is not to say he, or anyone else could ever take the place of Justin in his heart, but what I love that you’ve done here is demonstrate that there are many ways to ‘love’ someone. Love comes in all forms and degrees and I do believe the Brian/Chris relationship is a ‘loving’ one, (again, you demonstrated that so well in their interactions on the couch in front of Corey. So intimate, so emotional) Brian does NOT fake intimacy and there is no doubt there is intimacy between him and Chris. But, again, intimacy does not equal everlasting love.  Though it does not take away from the importance of sharing it with someone either.  I’m very interested in how you will develop the Brian/Chris relationship now that Justin is back in Brian’s life.  The way Chris described the look in Brian’s eyes upon first seeing him again was priceless.  That pure undiluted love WAS there, and though Brian tries to run from it, for Justin’s sake, he won’t be able to now because now he is going to have to deal with a more mature, wiser Justin who has that same level of love for Brian.  I do believe that perhaps, between Chris, Corey and Justin, they will make Brian see that he is NOT the problem.  That he is worthy of love.  That he IS good enough.

 

I would also like to see you delve more deeply into Brian’s childhood and his relationship with his parents. That’s where his self loathing, (for lack of better term) derived from.  

 

 

 

If I have one criticism of this amazing story, it is that at times, (very rarely) but at times, you let your love for Brian, imo, cloud your portrayal of him.  ONLY in the fact that at certain points I felt you were depicting him as ‘too’ perfect.  i.e. everyone who ever met him has either fallen in love with him, or hated him so much they want to destroy him.  As if he’s the ultimate super human sex God. Adonis…*sigh*  Not that I mind, on the contrary, I see him that way!  LoL  But it does at times pulls me out of the authenticity of the scene.  

 

 

Having said that, you HAVE, more than most, exposed Brian’s deep vulnerabilities in a way that doesn’t take away from his amazing strengths.  You DO keep him very human and very flawed, yet special, unique and strong….I totally accept that those around him see him as ‘immortal’, or ‘indestructible’, because that is how he presents himself to others.  He doesn’t want anyone to see what he considers, his deep flaws. Yet there is also a stubborn egotistical side to him that refuses to let those flaws, or emotional scars define him. Only HE gets to do that. Unfortunately, his definition of himself is not always accurate.

 

 

 

Other key thoughts on this chapter…Love Hillard and Keller.  I think those two have a lot in common. Though Kellers huge ego might get in the way.  LoL. Unless of course he has a huge cock to match.  LOL  Hillard is more the strong silent type…I think that’s a very good match.

 

 

 

Ted is way over his head and I can’t believe, as smart as he is, that he doesn’t see he’s being had. His hate, jealousy, whatever, for Brian is clouding his thinking.  And Blake needs to step up to the plate.

 

Mel…well, not much to say about Mel. The less said, imo, the better.

 

Loving Trina more and more. Hope Brian does take her back to Pitts with him!

 

 

Again….you’ve blown me away, captured my heart, piqued my interest and entertained me greatly with this amazing story!  Thank you.

Reviewer: Suse (Signed) · Date: May 23, 2010 10:37 PM · On: Chapter 33

Beautifully written as always. I think Chris always knew he couldn't compete with Justin for Brians love, but feels the pain of never having known that kind of love. I sincerely hope that Justin is now strong enough to hang on and not let Brian push him off any more cliffs. If anybody can break down that wall of guilt it will be Justin. I look forward to the fireworks coming. I also look forward to when Teddy realizes what he has done or at least has tried to do. I never cared for Ted in the series for the way he always talked down to Emmett and Justin and I really don't care for him now. Okay I have to take a deep breath now and tell myself this is just a story. How one tv show that has been off the air for five years can spawn such emotion is something I will never understand, but am so glad I rented that first season dvd because I was bored.

Reviewer: templeton_ma (Signed) · Date: May 23, 2010 03:05 PM · On: Chapter 33

It is amazing to see how Brian can shoulder all these pain and guilt for so long. It's so fitting that his most painful memory about the toture was the attacker's mentioning of Justin, and then him telling the agents about his guilt towards Justin being even more painful than the physical torture, and finally Justin has arrived...  I too feel bad for Chris. Although I am jealous of the closeness between Chris and Brian (which I am sure Justin will feel the same), having Chris witness Brian's love for Justin was painful. Chris really can be a great friend to Brian. Can't wait to see how Brian will try to fight off Justin, and fails =D

Reviewer: pfodge (Signed) · Date: May 23, 2010 07:05 AM · On: Chapter 33

What a great chapter.  Things are starting to move fast.  I really like Hilliard and Keller together.  I'm looking forward to seeing more of them together. 

Poor McClaran. I knew this was going to happen.  I think though that Brian and Chris will become great friends in the end. I have a feeling that the next little bit between Brian and Justin is going to be explosive.  I can't wait for the next chapter to be posted. 

Patty

 

 

Reviewer: Jasmine (Signed) · Date: May 23, 2010 03:09 AM · On: Chapter 33

You're late, well I'm late in finding this beautifully written story...can I charge you for aspirin because I started reading all the chapters of this story and couldn't put it down until the wee hours of the morning and now I have a headache (lol) but it was well worth it!! I'm hear for the long ride and can't wait for the next chapter so keep up the good work.

Reviewer: firefly (Signed) · Date: May 11, 2010 02:52 AM · On: Chapter 32

I am always so excited when you update.  I think you did a great job of drawing the lines on loyalties within Brian's so called famiy.  Don't they know that Cynthia gets her orders directly from Brian and shouldn't Brian call Ted to let him know that?  He already knows about the 2 million, doesn't he or did I get that wrong?  Anyway, can't wait for you to update.  What has the surgeon already done to Brian?  I'n not sure I understand that.

 

Judi

 

 

Author's Response:

No, you got it right.  He does know about the money, but everyone is keeping mum about it - and keeping watch for what comes next - so he won't say anything - yet.  But when he does - well, I leave it to your imagination to figure it out.  And I'll go over the surgical progress - in a general way - soon.  I did not want this to transform into a journal of medical jargon and procedures.  Brian WILL be beautiful again, I promise, although he'll keep certain reminders.

Thanks so much for yoru support and your encouragement, and I hope you continue to enjoy.

CYN

Reviewer: bksbracelet (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2010 04:47 PM · On: Chapter 32

OMG can Brian never get a break from his family's interference. Debbie just has to try and control stuff and dislikes not being in the loop, well tough shit Debbie this has nothing to do with you. For once Michael and Lindsay held firm and did the right thing. However Brian is going to be unbelievably pissed when Justin turns up. I just hope Brian does not start to believe that Cynthia is not to be trusted as well.

You have me jumping at shadows Cyn because I am not sure if Trina can be trusted as well. As usual cannot wait for the next chapter :) Chris 

Author's Response:

Oh, I love it when my readers begin to peer into the shadows and try to figuere out where the next threat might come from.  I'm not quite ready to reveal that, but I promise it won't be too long.

Thanks so much for your encouragement.  Can't tell you how much it means to me.

CYN

Reviewer: kcurtsinger (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2010 08:22 AM · On: Chapter 32

I've been reading this since the beginning and thought I'd wait until the final chapter to comment. You're completely ruining my plans. I can't stand it anymore.  First just let me say I love your attention to detail.  It gives me a feel for each and every character and the situation they're in.  Brian is as usual being a stubborn ass. I understand wanting to protect Justin but hell man, take him with you!  That being said, I hope the next update is quick.  Justin and Brian REALLY need to reunite.  Kinda makes be feel sorry for McClaren. He's a good guy and I hope he doesn't let his heart get broken.

Author's Response:

I do love the fact that people are beginning to see that McClaren - though obviously facing off against Justin - sort of - is a really good guy who is there to provide what Brian needs.  As much as J&B love each other, they're not always THE answer for any individual situation.  Sometimes, someone else is needed. And yes, I too feel sorry for him, but, OTOH, he gets to indulge in beautiful sex with the mighty Kinney, so we can't be too sorry, can we?

Hope you continue to enjoy.

CYN

Reviewer: galenut (Signed) · Date: May 04, 2010 06:38 AM · On: Chapter 31

i love this story, thanks for writing and sharing it. can't wait for the rest

Reviewer: starbaby (Signed) · Date: May 02, 2010 01:38 AM · On: Chapter 31

I love your long convoluted story. I am quickly becoming a huge fan of Chris. But then how do I leave Justin behind? What a dilemma! Am very much looking forward to Ted and Mel getting their day of reckoning.

Reviewer: delvalmom (Signed) · Date: May 01, 2010 08:50 AM · On: Chapter 31

whew! just caught up after falling behind by quite a few chapters and I'm sorry I caught up because I want more-lol!

absolutely superb!!

Reviewer: ycorgigirl (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2010 09:06 PM · On: Chapter 31

Oh happy day, a new chapter to timeless!  I started it last night and finished this morning. There is so much going on in this chapter, I will probably have to reread it over the weekend.  I hate to say it but I love Brian and McClaren. McClaren is good for him but it can't end well when Justin is back in the picture. Can't wait for more. Thanks!

Reviewer: Anno 53 (Anonymous) · Date: April 30, 2010 12:14 PM · On: Chapter 31

Fabulous! Just fabulous! Thanks for the update, cyn :)

Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: April 30, 2010 10:37 AM · On: Chapter 31

Wow...I don't know what to say.  This chapter was spectacular!  Best yet!  (I think I say that about almost everyone of your chapters lol) Seriously though, this story just keeps getting better and better.   I can't tell you how much I love Chris. He knows exactly what Brian needs, and is there to give it to him with no expectations of anything in return.  Wow...love him, simply love him...  The plot thickens...It's not Ted that's the true Judas, is it? It's one evil woman, and I think Brian may know this.   Love Justin's growth, and love Cedric.   So much emotion in this chapter, so much clarity. I really think Alex is going to help Brian in more ways then one.  He needs to deal with so much shit in his past, and trusting Justin again is going to be a task he'll find difficult to do.  

Amazing writing, amazing story, just...amazing!

Reviewer: pfodge (Anonymous) · Date: April 21, 2010 11:19 PM · On: Chapter 30

Hello, I just finished what you have here so far, and I just want to let you know that I am really enjoying what you have done so far.  I am really enjoying your attention to details. 

I look forward to following you in this particular journey.  You have dropped the line and I have taken the hook.  I can't wait to be realed in.  

Patty

 

 

 

 

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 19, 2010 03:02 AM · On: Chapter 30

POP Quiz Once upon a time: Justin was in NY and brain in the pitts (why) because one: Justin really wanted to go, be rich, and fine true love, and never never married brain? Two: brain push him into going because he didn’t want to married him and wanted to be free of him because he realize that he never was in love with him OR three Lindsay knew that if she told brain about the article on Justin  that he would listen to her faster and believe the words she was saying,  than what his heart or what Justin was saying to him BUT we ALL know what happen don’t we….why did I write all this above because as readers we love to read about that perfect couple and in this case it’s Brain and Justin and the greatest love ever told…but it's not a great love  maybe it never was.

 

For one we fine again that brain and Justin aren’t together (what was the real reason behind that?) and Justin is with someone (why is that? What happen to I’ll see you call you and e-mail you and we don’t need rings to know we love each other or maybe you belong to me no matter how far you are or simple don’t be gone for long, I want you here with me?) than there’s brain always the inter man talking  about how lonely how fucking lonely and miserable how fucking dunk I can get or this fuck and that fuck  and why did he leave me why did he not want to be with me any more (shit his inter man was more mature than the outer man) Not to be one sided than there Justin living in the big apple with someone doing good for himself (not) why because as readers and writers we can’t let Justin be happy or stronger than brain it’ just not right, he’s blond (BULLSHIT) and of cause 80% percent like brain better than Justin (not me) just read story written about B/J. (not all a small % favor brain) just like some who always revert back to the Justin and Ethan era, I’m glad he did leave, who in their right mind would stay in an one sided relationship and for the record Justin never love/ or was in love with Ethan he like him and care for him but that was as far as that went at lease for Justin.  Next came the beating some would say, like Justin brought on the bashing himself because he provoke chris or some shit like that So did brain but the different is brain can be very nasty and not in a good way to people sometime it’s call for but sometime it’s not (but no one has the right to hurt another but we see it in the real world everyday) and life goes on. So now that brain is hurt almost kill where is Justin the great love of his life still being push away by brain (why) because he (brain)want to protect him (Justin) from getting hurt or kill, how sweat (not) because when Justin dose fine out he leave his friend to come be with brain (why?) I guess because it’s what we want as readers and writer and it’s Justin job to be there so that we can see the love and also to make sure that brain hurt him badly again, good old brain always on the job, now that’s real love, we should all wish we had a love like that Now inter the new guy oh so happy are we (why?) because he understand brain (but how?) because he honest with brain ( I guess everyone has lie to brain in some way because we the readers all know brain would never lie or hurt anyone except Justin because he’s blond weak and left brain that a big sin ) and he McClaren is so nice (BUT in what way is he really helping brain?) “SEX” and to fall in love with our poor lonely heart brain.. that make a lot of sense right, why have Justin around to help brain get better and to maybe fall in love with each other again or even better have Justin find out where they are and have some fucking balls to go after him (brain) I forgot that’s not good reading right? So brain leave in the name of protecting his family and friend oh and our hurt Justin (because that his job and we wouldn’t want him any other way) but what’s to say the guys that hurt brain won’t get Justin anyway (can’t tell most of the story line is about brian,  and whoever not much of Justin) so what going on with finding these guys? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

This must tell you that you are good writer.

Author's Response:

WOW! I almost don't know what to say.  Except . . .

How about this?  Justin goes to New York and is miserable.  Brian lets him go and is equally miserable.  They call each other and admit that they're miserable, and they can't live without each other, and they're never going to be able to look at another man again, and Justin catches the next plane home, and they live a kind of stereotypical hetero - happily ever after. That seems to be what so many people want, only . . . it's not very interesting is it, and it's pretty short, and it's uber boring But hey, if that's your preference. . .

Thanks for taking the time to write such a lengthy review, and I'm delighted (I think) that you think I'm a good writer, although I have no idea why.  LOL

CYN

Reviewer: Isabella (Anonymous) · Date: April 17, 2010 11:38 PM · On: Chapter 30

The detail you put into your writing is astounding. Normally, with a lot stories with super-long chapters, I'll skip a lot and sometimes skim, but with you, I read it all, no matter how long it takes. That's how great your writing is.

I know a lot of people are worried about what's going on between Brian and McClaren and whether they will end up together or not, I think it's perfectly clear (in my opinion), that they will not. Brian's heart is and always will be with Justin, that room he built is perfect evidence for that, and what he needs right now is comfort, and also to know that Justin is safe. And McClaren is such a good guy. He knows that he and Brian will never be together, yet he doesn't distance himself to avoid getting hurt. He helps Brian despite this knowledge. Hell, he even reminds Brian of his feelings for Justin. How can you hate such a selfless and kind-hearted character?

Sorry that was a little ramble-y, but take my long review as a compliment, as I only right reviews this long for stories that really bring emotions out of me, which yours does. You're doing a great job.

Author's Response:

Please don't apologize for a long review.  That's the kind authors love.  And I'm gratefu that you understand Brian and Chris and their interaction - and the fact that although Chris is good for Brian, he does not in any sense, replace Justin.

Glad that you see his good side, and hope you continue to enjoy.

CYN

Reviewer: templeton_ma (Anonymous) · Date: April 17, 2010 09:39 PM · On: Chapter 30

I had to do a double take again on the story tag "Brian/Justin, Brian/Other, Justin/Other". I know in my heart that your story will eventually be B/J since Jusitn is Brian's true love as shown repeatedly in this chapter. But the chemistry between Brian & Chris is so good that I do fear that this threat, especially as they get physical, will be a critical mass to B/J reunion. It is such a contrast to witness in this chatper at first that Justin found out how much Brian loves (or loved?) him, then we got the inner desire in Brian's dreaming of Justin, but then the big smack on the head with Brian and Chris getting intimately closer and Brian's seemingly allowing it. I am a 100% BJ shipper. But I still found myself believing why Brian would be so attracted to Chris. You created this Chris character that even B/J's biggest fan will have trouble hating. And Linds. I finally see her deserving the "Brian's Wendy" title.

PS. I hope you will recover 100% soon!

Author's Response:

Now THAT is truly a welcome comment to a writer - for anyone who is a true B/J believer (and I include myself in that number) to be able to evaluate Chris and see the goodness in him is truly wonderful.  Again, let me remind everyone that there have ALWAYS been other men in the Brian/Justin mix, but most of them were toxic, to one degree or another.  I just thought that, under these circumstances, with Brian feeling so cut-off and so unwilling to allow Justin to get anywhere near him, that he would need someone who would understand what he's going through - a good guy who could be there for him, but be strong enough to endure what might come from it.

That's Chris McClaren, and I hope, by the time we get to the end of the story, that people will understand who he really is and what he pays for being a good guy.

Thanks for such a wonderful comment.

CYN

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 17, 2010 05:32 PM · On: Chapter 30

great update!

feroza

Author's Response:

Thanks.  So glad you enjoyed it.  More when I can.

CYN

Reviewer: agatatells (Anonymous) · Date: April 17, 2010 02:02 PM · On: Chapter 30

Oh, I don't mind Mr McClaren that much, not at all... ;-) I mean, granted that I'd love to see B/J in the end (and something tells me that's how it's going to end, isn't it?) but... he's just so good to Brian, you know? I love his character and the chemistry between the two of them. So I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts. :-) Just please don't end their little something too soon, ok? Plus, I sooo would like to see Justin having to fight for Brian for once.

Also? Your writing style is exquisite, but what else is new? ;-)

Author's Response:

Aaah, a woman after my own heart.  I too enjoy it when Justin realizes that he needs to step up and fight for what he wants.  That was one of my primary problems with the original series.  Here you had this beautiful, talented, brave, wonderful young man - who never seemed to realize what he really wanted until he'd already thrown it away.  Not to dismiss Brian's role in the whole kerfuffle, but I'd often just sit there shaking my head in disbelief at the end of a particularly puzzling episode.

Thanks so much for your lovely compliment, and I hope you continue to enjoy.

CYN

Reviewer: southernlil (Anonymous) · Date: April 17, 2010 11:06 AM · On: Chapter 30

Oh, wow...just wow!  Love Ms Corey, btw. 

Author's Response:

Thanks so much, and thanks in particular for taking note of a character who is not exactly primary focus but will play a rather important role in finding our way to the end of the story.

CYN

Reviewer: bksbracelet (Anonymous) · Date: April 17, 2010 10:33 AM · On: Chapter 30

Oh what you leave it there! So much in this chapter and so dam little. Who is cultivating Ted and feeding his insecurities. What did Brian make for Justin and what the hell Chris do your job not Brian. As always stamping foot and waiting anxiously for the next chapter.

PS I wondered if all the descriptive talk of bad backs came from yours, I hope you are on the road to recovery,

 

Author's Response:

Leave it to you to pick up on the nuances.  As it happens, the spinal references were pretty much a reflection of the day I was having. LOL

I know I'm doing a lot of baiting here, and probably concealing too much, but I do think things will begin to come clear soon - if I can do my job.  One of the big problems with writing a semimystery-who-done-it like this, is keeping all the threads firmly in hand without getting them tangled, so wish me luck.  I do promise some little bits of pertinent information coming up soon.  Although we've still got a way to go, there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel.  I promise.

Thanks for your loving support and encouragement.

CYN

Reviewer: Jen (Anonymous) · Date: April 17, 2010 09:15 AM · On: Chapter 30

This IS a Brian/Justin story, right?  Because it would kill me to get through this amazing story and end up with a Brian/OC pairing. lol.  The ONLY person Brian belongs with is Justin!! 

Okay, now that my complaining is done, I just want to tell you that this is one of the best QAF fics I have EVER read.  :) 

Author's Response:

What a lovely thing for you to say!  And I do understand your misgivings.  I share your belief that Brian and Justin belong together, but I have to point out that, even in their most committed moments, they were never completely monogamous - either of them.  And this is a somewhat unusual circumstance.  Brian is alone now, and is caught up in the belief that he can never allow Justin back into his life - not because he doesn't want him but because he's afraid of what might happen to him.  It is, after all, one thing to be brave (as Brian always is) enough to confront the people who want you dead and defy them; but it's something else entirely to be willing to put the person you love with all your heart, at risk.  So Chris is something of a safe harbor for Brian right now, a refuge, a comfort, who is allowing himself to be used in the full knowledge that this will almost certainly not end well for him.  So give the guy a break, OK?  LOL

Thanks for your lovely commet, and I hope you continue to enjoy.

CYN

Author's Response:

What a lovely thing for you to say!  And I do understand your misgivings.  I share your belief that Brian and Justin belong together, but I have to point out that, even in their most committed moments, they were never completely monogamous - either of them.  And this is a somewhat unusual circumstance.  Brian is alone now, and is caught up in the belief that he can never allow Justin back into his life - not because he doesn't want him but because he's afraid of what might happen to him.  It is, after all, one thing to be brave (as Brian always is) enough to confront the people who want you dead and defy them; but it's something else entirely to be willing to put the person you love with all your heart, at risk.  So Chris is something of a safe harbor for Brian right now, a refuge, a comfort, who is allowing himself to be used in the full knowledge that this will almost certainly not end well for him.  So give the guy a break, OK?  LOL

Thanks for your lovely commet, and I hope you continue to enjoy.

CYN

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 17, 2010 02:24 AM · On: Chapter 30

Ooh! I loved this chapter so much. Well worth any wait. I love how descriptive this story is. Can't wait for what happens next.

Author's Response:

Thanks ever so much for speaking up.  Such remarks serve to fuel any writer's imagination.

CYN

Reviewer: morgana68 (Anonymous) · Date: April 17, 2010 12:35 AM · On: Chapter 1

Cyn,

thanks for this .

Really.

This is all a sreat story should be. Sometime I found myself skipping through lines because the pathos, the angst, the love is too much to bear.

You are a truly, honest wonderful writer!

 

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.  I should admit, right up front, that I only write for me, in that I find it impossible to tailor my work to any specific direction so it's not always possible to know if what I'm doing is what my readers might want to read.  So it's especially nice when someone steps up to offer encouragement.

CYN

Reviewer: serena333 (Anonymous) · Date: April 11, 2010 11:24 PM · On: Chapter 1

I have been following this story for some time now, but plan to take a break.  It's not that I'm not enjoying it; I'm challenged by the lapses.    It feels like I'll understand things a whole lot better if I can read to the completion.  As it is, I'm getting lost with remembering all the inticate details and members of the cast when I pick up the new chapter.  Chapter 29 has me completely baffled; so much so that I abruptly just stopped reading which is very unlike me I assure you.  Thanks for all your effort.  I plan to watch in the completed arena and will quickly start again.

Reviewer: Chloris01 (Anonymous) · Date: April 07, 2010 07:48 AM · On: Chapter 29

I'm sorry for your pain. Keep writing : it's amazing, as always.

 

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 04, 2010 04:00 AM · On: Chapter 29

I would like to formally request that Ted die a painful death for the way he is acting. And to my surprise give Mikey a giant hug for finally having the foresight and self-awareness to trulky see Brian for who he is. Can't wait for more.

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 04, 2010 12:29 AM · On: Chapter 29

Stupid Ted!  Boy he is a real jerk in this story!

I'm glad Justin was able to observe the depth of Brian's feelings for him.  Go Cynthia!

Reviewer: le_renégat (Anonymous) · Date: April 01, 2010 10:22 PM · On: Chapter 1

 

Well, I usually don't do commenting or reviews, but your story has really REALLY gotten me. This is fucking GENIUS. I really am sorry, but it's gonna be one hell of a long review. But anyway, let's get it started. 

Being my task as a fiction and lit wannabe researcher and college student, I tried to distance myself from your text to analyse it impartially, but it just was that I couldn't. I got so deep emotionally driven by your writing and in the beginning it actually annoyed me. While progressing through the chapters, though, it just amused me to no end.

The thing is, the way you developed and built each and every character is simply unique, and I have NEVER seen a fanfiction writer do it even remotely as well as you did (and I am starting to think some of your characterising is far better than the one done at the original series). The way each and every one of them has their good and bad points and these make them the people - or character - they are. They sound and feel so real, so human.

As for characters, I have to say I just love the way you portrayed Justin, you did a fucking wonderful job on him. Even if the series did him quite a bit of justice, you honed his character actually added such an overconfident, but wise and understanding side to him that it settled me off. I mean, it was delightful to see how you wrote him off to mature from the, well, brat he still was.

I LOVED Cynthia. The way she is this wise and unbreakable force of nature, but still is fragile and delicate on the inside - unwavering and strong and feminine. The way she loves Brian so deeply even if she herself doesn't quite realise. I'm eager to see more of her as the story progresses, to see her way - your way, through her eyes - of seeing things. But love her in your story as I might, it still gave me the impression she's a tad 'too perfect', that she doesn't have any 'real and ugly faults'.

I never really liked Lindsey that much, while watching the series I just thought she and Melanie (as a couple, I mean) were the most fucking boring and worst-explored characters I had ever seen. But reading her thoughts as you wrote them made me like her a whole lot more. It had always been quite obvious she loved Brian more than anything, but you put it with such subtleness and softness it actually brought a smile to my lips. Several times. Oh, and Gus is frigging adorable.

Well, as for Brian. Oh, the love of him. Your idea (well, Stockwell's) of vengeance being a distorted face for him actually surprised me, for both being too good and because you actually went through with it (at least you didn't rip his cock off). I like how he gets his own 'shock' and 'trauma' version, pushing away from everybody, trying to save them but yet trying not to get hurt himself again. It hurts the reader that he pushes Justin away with such determination and might, and hurts even more if you are a hopeless romantic like me, who knows they 'are going to be together', but is not so sure anymore. I love Brian's remarks, I love his relationship with Cynthia and with Keller, so suble, so trusting, so pure and loving. I think you did a frigging wonderful job, except for maybe one thing, and reading your profile I was sure of that: you love the character (and believe me, I've been and still am there), you can't put too many faults on him. Even his 'faults', like Cynthia's, are 'too perfect'.

As for the plot (hahaha, I never DID talk about the plot, did I). You're not sugarly romantic, and that's a damn good thing. Your characters and situations and reactions are way too real, and though they may not be what (romantic) people expect to read, it is fucking real and deep inside the readers know it. The plot is still on-going and works wonderfuly - Brian and Justin apart; an attack brings them back together; Brian is destroyed inside and out, pushes him away; Justin keeps coming back, stubborn as hell; they face trouble together. Of course, it's NOT quite as simple and plain as I put it, nowhere near. And this is fucking good because your depicturing of the characters and maturing and epiphanies through the story make it so rich and astonishing it's hard to believe. It's gotten me a whole day to think about what to write in this, I was quite speechless when I finished reading. And what a reading, your chapters took my poor breath away, haha. 

Anyway, I do think this is getting TOO long. I will be tuned and waiting for the next chapters, though I may not comment on each one of the next ones, I'll be reading them hungrily.

Sorry for writing this huge fucking thing, I just had to say what I though about your work. Hope you didn't mind the minor swearing or english mistakes (it IS my second language, though I do try to hide it :/)

 

Author's Response:

Well, for someone who doesn't DO reviews, you do a heck of a job, Darling.  How perfectly wonderful to come wandering in here after my hiatus, to find this lovely discourse, and, with it, the inspiration I need to get me back to the task at hand.

I owe everyone here a huge apology, and a reassurance that I just don't usually DO this - as in go more than two weeks without posting something, at least.  But I am here to demonstrate an unavoidable truth, for me, at least.  You know, in the course of my quite long life, I've heard that some artists/ musicians/ writers/ poets, etc. can do their best, most astonishing work while under the influence - of whatever particular mood-enhancer of choice might be available, and if that's true, then my hat is off to them, because I can tell you one thing for certain, Honey.  It's sure not true of me.  So far, this year does not look as if it's going to wind up in my top ten list of ANYTHING, unless its general crappiness.  From a raging respiratory infection that landed me in the hospital, to various personal dilemmas, and now - as icing on the cake, I've managed to pop up with a couple of swollen spinal disks that have just been giving me fits  - to the point where I can't sleep, can't function, can't walk, can't . . . whatever.  And the doctors, God love them, can only suggest therapy - which is a brand of torture in a category all its own - and Vicodin.  Now let me tell you about Vicodin.  If your aim is to wind up floating somewhere out among the asteroids or in orbit around Uranus, it's definitely what you're looking for.  But if you're trying to write - and make even a tiny bit of sense - well, suffice to say that I've had three quarters of the next chapter of this magnum opus written for almost two weeks, and can't finish it for the life of me because my concentration is just shot.

However, enough excuses.  Despite the fact that the holiday is upon us, and I have grandchildren clamoring for my attention, I fully intend to sit down (or stand on my head if necessary) this week-end, and get the next part of it ready to post.  I can't and won't promise that it will be as coherent and crisp as it should be, but hopefully, it will make enough sense so you can tell where it's going.

You are a lovely bunch of readers, and I thank you so much for your encouragement and, most of all right now, your patience.  I promise not to drag things out for so long again - unless a roof falls on my head and renders me unconcscious.  Probably shouldn't even joke about that, huh?

CYN

 

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: March 15, 2010 11:19 AM · On: Chapter 28

You sure pack a lot of info into a chapter. I'd love to know what Justin finds at the loft.

Author's Response:

Ah, yes - my strength - and my weakness.  The simple, unavoidable truth is that I couldn't do short, concise, or pithy if my life depended on it. In one sense (and only one) I'm like Stephen King, in that I've had a lifelong love affair with the English language, and my motto has always been "The more, the merrier."  Although I have a huge appreciation for those who write beautiful, elegant, precise. minimalist prose (Annie Proulx comes to mind immediately) it's just not within my reach.  So I'm always grateful to those who are willing to take looonnnngggg journeys with me.

Thanks so much for your continued interest and support.

CYN

Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: March 15, 2010 06:28 AM · On: Chapter 28

Hobbs, Stockwell and Craig!  Ok, you got me REALLY worried now!  Brian was right, when someone wants you dead bad enough, they'll find a way. What are they planning? Blowing up Kinnetik?!  Cyn is there working late! OMG!  Maybe I'm reading too much into it, I don't know. And Ted! Ohhhh!!!!  I just knew he'd be the Judas! Whatever they are planning, it's meant to bring Brian's empire down, be it 'literally', (by blowing up his business) or figertively, but backrupting him, or something to that effect.  And if Hobbs is involved, you can bet Justin is on his hit list as well.

It was nice to see Claire's perspective, and you did an excellent job of filling in that which was only hinted at in Cannon.  It really humanized Brian's character more for me.  Poor Peter!  What will happen to him if his brother and mother find out he's gay?  I shudder to think.

Cynthia is taking a  risk.  Justin is going to see himself all over Brian's loft, and then he'll know, but she's also breaking Brian's confidence.  It's a tough situation for her, but I believe she is diong the right, 'selfless' thing. She's willing to risk her friendship with him, for his happiness.

Great chapter. The plot thickens!   Always love your updates!

Author's Response:

Thanks, Old friend.  I am so grateful that you manage to find time to comment, even when you certainly have better things to do (like doing some writing of your own).  And yes you're so right.  The plot IS thickening, but it's far from complete.  To get really, ridiculously plagiaristic, there are still many, many miles to go before anybody can sleep.  And I'm so glad you found my Claire interlude believable and canonish.  I always believed that there had to be so much more to the story than we were ever shown for Brian to feel so much antagonism toward his mother.  This was my version of it.  Plus it let me paint just a tiny scene from Claire's perspective, to support my personal belief that most homophobes are not 'born'; they're made.  Wouldn't the world be a better place if we figured out how to cure this horrible, infectious disease?

Thanks so much for your support and your enthusiasm.  Hope you continue to be pleased.

CYN

Reviewer: twiinklestar (Anonymous) · Date: March 14, 2010 04:12 PM · On: Chapter 25

Oh HEEEELLLLLLL no! This had better get fixed or I'm going to shit bricks -_____-" I could be wrong, but didn't you say somewhere that you were "fixing what CowLip got wrong?"

I love the story by the way; even if every chapter takes me a g'damn hour to read -______-"

Off to the next chapter and by golly, things better improve.

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: March 09, 2010 06:34 AM · On: Chapter 8

I cried. In the last few paragraphs BEFORE Steven said his piece, you caught Brian and Justin. Perfectly. In those few words you captured the very essence of what they are.

 

 

(Though a) I still can't stand Steven b) which is partially because I can't quite envision Justin moving on - at least, not that soon or with someone like Steven)

Reviewer: Suse (Anonymous) · Date: March 06, 2010 09:21 PM · On: Chapter 27

As much as I wish I could sit down and read the entire story I am glad you are feeling better. Taking care of yourself comes first. Every time I see another chapter posted I print it off. Reading your writing is for me like reading an exceptionally good book. I read and read and read and then when I am almost at the end I have to put the book down and stay away from it for awhile. The reason is because I don't want it to end. That's how good it is, that's how good your writing is. I love Cedric, he will be the one to help Justin find his way back to Brian. I love Chris because he gets Brian and recognizes the real man, not what everybody else wants him to be. Anxiously awaiting the next chapter.

Reviewer: Moonshadow Woman (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 12:14 PM · On: Chapter 27

I tried to wait for this to be finished - but couldn't hold out - so began to read and read and read - great story - almost but not quite too much angst for me - I do hope Brian and Justin get together eventually.

erb

Reviewer: TrinTiff (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 12:17 AM · On: Chapter 27

I was just re-reading this because there's just so much and reaiized I completly forgot to tell you how wonderful the conversation b/t Justin & Cedric was! I love Cedric ... Justin doesn't even know he's become his therapist in all this and is keeping him from falling to pieces. I hope Brian has a chance to meet him someday.

Hugs, Cindy