Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: August 23, 2010 12:34 AM · On: Chapter 2 part 2

Poor Brian!  Getting hit by a car now, too.  :o(

Your story has been edited and a number of sentences are fragmented and confusing.

For example:

It didn`t , definitely bother him too much to again announce The Birth of Baby Jesus to a small group of astonished shepherds. After all, it's not as if he had a better place to be.

Also, a number of words have been misued:

We have explored him to verify

* should be examined

Finally, the use of quotes instead of dashes would make the voices of your characters more immediate and real.

I like your story, so I just wanted to mention a few things to make sure it is fully understood.  I hope you are not offended.  :o)

Michelle