Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: October 30, 2021 Title: Chapter 1: Alright

Hi! At first I was a little confused how this story fits into your other two parts, but it seems to stand on its own. Another variant? Again, so damn well written, one suffer so much, it's heart-breaking, but there are also these short funny moments (Justin at Babylon with this guy was such an incredibly good scene), you let them stay totally in character, and at the same time you show their love for each other in such an amazing way. Such an incredibly good story. Thanks for sharing! Are you still writing in this universe?

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: October 27, 2021 Title: Chapter 7: Violet

Hi! I've been reading fanfiction about Brian and Justin for over 5 years and I've only just come across yours. My goodness. I am currently reading the sequel and had to take a break in chapter 2 and use this moment to write to you. There have only been two stories so far that made me cry and your story is now the third one. So damn intense, unbelievable. I suffer so much with both of them. So, before I go on suffering ;-), I just wanted to tell you how absolutely amazing I find your story. Wonderfully written, I love the way you portray them, how their deep deep love is just there. I was fascinated by the way you described Justin and his feelings and thoughts on the way to the operating room. So damn realistic - anyone who's ever had an surgery can totally understand it. It's so wonderful and there's also hope, but at the same time I feel so damned heartbroken.... It's so moving! Great story! Thanks for sharing it with us!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: October 20, 2019 Title: Chapter 41: Until The End

Hi! I’ve spent the last three days mainly reading this story and I’m totally fascinated. At first, I wasn’t sure if I really like this story. The violence between Justin and Brian, or from Brian in particular, confused me a bit. But from chapter to chapter everything has made more sense and I’ve understood the complexity of your story and find it wonderful and amazing, even though sometimes I felt like I was in the TV Show Supernatural… :-) I really enjoyed Supernatural, especially because of Dean and Sam and their relationship, although, to be honest, I wanted to see them more and more as a couple and not as brothers. Then I discovered QAF and found my real dream couple, so I only saw the first 6 or 7 seasons of Supernatural. But back to your story… I really like your writing-style, I love your characters – not only Brian and Justin, but for example Kevin as well. What I like about your characters, and Brian in particular, is that even though he is a very cruel vampire (totally normal for a vampire), this loyalty to his family and his absolute love for Justin are so well expressed. The only thing is… Normally, I decided to stop reading unfinished stories because it's just too painful not to know how a really exciting story continues or ends. And although I'm glad that your story ends at a point when Brian and Justin are reunited, it's a frustrating feeling again ... and that's why I’m begging you to continue writing this exciting and awesome story! And I still have a question… It confused me a little ... The Matt from the last couple of chapters is Max, isn’t he? So, please, continue! Please!!! Warmest regards, aglaja

Author's Response: Thank you for this review. I have no words. Except that because of it, I went back to reading the story, I'm in the middle of it. I plan to finish it. It's a complicated one but I'll get to it. Thanks for the support and motivation you have given me.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 27, 2022 Title: Chapter 24: Comfortable

"Well, I don't care about an autistic boy. I care about a young man who happens to suffer from autism." That's and paying attention. That's what makes the difference! "He liked… Justin. With autism." That is one of the most beautiful and important paragraphes. I love your story so much. And I knew that an own bed wouldn't be a good idea! :-) The brave litte Taylor - so cute!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 26, 2022 Title: Chapter 22: Talk to me softly

Although those brief moments when Justin remembers his "mommy" break my heart and I also want to sue that idiot Ethan, this is such an amazing chapter! How Prince Prian comes to the rescue again, brings him so many nice things: 3 bottles of water (!!!) and teaches him the most important phrases! :-)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 22, 2022 Title: Chapter 13: Stomach Stones

So amazing! "Orange is the new blue." Sometimes the prince really was a bit stupid.” :-) I love this story soooo much! Brian's way of responding to Justin seems so natural and because of that their "conversations" just keep getting better

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 28, 2022 Title: Chapter 26: Wet Dreams

Even though this is not the first time I read your story, it always hurts to read this chapter. First the worry about Justin, then the terrible diner scene and then this "You're not alright". It breaks my heart - over and over again. And of course Michael has nothing better to do than to encourage Brian in his insecurities. What a jerk! And how disrespectful to talk about Justin like that in front of him.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 21, 2022 Title: Chapter 10: Cream cheese for my princess

Hej! So, two years later, I‘m still in this universe and I‘m still so in love with your story and I‘m re-reading it. Poor Justin, ohhh, I could kill Ethan... sadly also in reality there are Plakes and Ethans.„Brian grimaced. "He is normal. ...In a non-defined, non-conventional way." - I love this so much!
Yeah, Brian for the rescue... This slow and tender development between them is so beautifully described and written. Perfect! And in every chapter, there are so many beautiful scenes like when Brian fixes the noodle chain.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 28, 2022 Title: Chapter 28: Kiss me alright - Part II

„everything regarding Justin has been put behind us for a long time. We’ve done our best for him and moved on afterwards.” - WTF?! - How cruel and pathetic and sad. But as I said before, fortunately there is a Blake! He is really the best! And it seems as if Brian finally doesn’t fight his feelings any longer. “You are alright” What an amazing scene! And how happy Justin is at the end of this chapter!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: April 28, 2020 Title: Chapter 6: With eyes opened wide

What a wonderful amazing chapter! So well written! And I can't tell you how much I love this "Who is the Prince" conversation. And somehow, I mean, maybe I'm going too far in my interpretation, but for me, you had again referred to their original story in your frame. Justin, who simply knows that Brian is the prince, his prince. And Brian, who doesn't believe this yet, who seems to find this uncomfortable, although it‘s so clear that Justin has already touched something inside of him - reminds me very much of "Mr. I don't do love" ;-) „Dream of me"

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: April 26, 2020 Title: Chapter 4: A Room With A View

Again, what a beautiful chapter and I really admire how you managed through your writing that we get to know Justin‘s character so well. And sadly, not all humans are like Blake. Ethan is a real scumfuck. But in addition to this sadness, there are always these funny moments ... Em as the servant! "Ha"

Oh, the prince has finally made his first appearance! It‘s also wonderful how you incorporate their street lamp into this story and give it the same meaning, albeit in a different context.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: April 26, 2020 Title: Chapter 2: Dear Prince

Oh goodness, poor Justin. You write this in such an amazing way, one can feel his despair. And as I said before, Blake is just great. He‘s so patient and how he responds to Justin and wins his trust. Amazing writing-style!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 23, 2022 Title: Chapter 17: Kitty Naptime

Arghh, Brian is getting in his own way again. It is so painful to read how much Justin is waiting for 2pm, his disappointment, his pain. We would all be disappointed, but for Justin these structures and fixed agreements are even more important. But what a beautiful scene then later in bed. And the way you describe their evening activities is priceless, ! Ha, certainly Pritin! :-)

 

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: May 02, 2020 Title: Chapter 9: Amazing

Oh, I can't tell you how much I love this story! That was quite the adventure for Justin (and also for Brian - Certainly!). As I wrote in my review before, I think it's wonderful that you gave Brian the gift of somehow understanding Justin in a very natural way. As I said, I don't know much about autism, but yes, you certainly need your fixed rules and all of that, but I love how Justin can experience so many new things through Brian. Wonderful moment with the noodle chain! So cute!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 29, 2022 Title: Chapter 29: Silent Night

Reading it the first time, I actually cried - and that was the second time a fanfic made me cry. And although I know what will happen, every time I read it, it is sooo hard and painful to read. So tragic, so terrible, it feels as if they rape him. He was soooo happy. I mean, this was probably one of the happiest days of his life, Christmas and he has found his prince after so many years und and he's so close to being picked up.... Thank you all the more for nevertheless ending this chapter so beautifully.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: April 26, 2020 Title: Chapter 1: Once Upon A Time

Hi! I don't know if you are still in this universe, but even if not, I want to give you the well-deserved reviews for this incredibly amazing beautiful story, and I hope, they'll reach you! I only recently discovered your story, read it, and fell head over heels in love with it, so I've decided to read it again after only a month. I'm not very familiar with autism, I only saw Rainman at the time, but for me as a reader you portrayed Justin incredibly well. How you linked his thinking and speaking is so well done and gives us readers a very good insight into Justin's interior. One just want to hug him and tell him not to lose hope and that his prince will come soon!

And it's also wonderful that you chose Blake for this sensitive role, even if the reason for it was maybe only the "P" ;.) - I always liked him very much in the series

 

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 25, 2022 Title: Chapter 20: The need in me

„The prince had the most wonderful things hidden in the little cabinet „ Haha, he certainly has!

Such a beautiful chapter with icecream-kisses and tender moments!

 

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 29, 2022 Title: Chapter 30: Epilogue –I might have laughed if you told me

So, once again this wonderful story comes to an end! What a beautiful chapter! Blake as the private nurse! Amazing! And it seems to work very well for all of them. Justin is finally being supported and receiving attention and isn't just the patient from room number whatever.

I really really love and adore this story! You are so talented! Wonderfully written, so detailed, and you managed to combine funny with sad. The  characterizations are brilliant!. Your story touched me deeply and also made me think about autism in general. I really didn't want this story to end. I would have soooo loved to read more about them, about their everyday or nightly adventures!

Even though it's been a long time since you wrote and published this story and I don't know if you'll ever read this, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this wonderful story!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 11, 2016 Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 24: Turning Point - Part One

Hi my friend! An exciting chapter. It’s scary how a single moment can change one’s life. What impressed me is Brian finally acting “normal”, asking Jesse for help. This is somehow unique. He must be real scared! An also impressing – I’ve stated this In another review and I think it’s the same with the Brian of the show: Brian saying he doesn’t believe in love, loves Justin so deeply – it’s so beautiful! Warmest regards and a big hug! a.

Author's Response:

Brian loves Justin, there is absolutely no doubt about it. Asking for help isn't something Brian does easily, but he has no choice here. I'm so glad you're loving this! Thank you again for letting me know :)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 14, 2016 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter 24: Turning Point - Part Three

Hi my friend! So much pain, so much hurt. For both, Jesse and Brian. I think Jesse’s got a point. I can understand his rage and his accusations in his situation mainly because of his damaged legs. Who wouldn’t react this way? But also, I feel so sorry for Brian. How could one live with this guilt. Especially with his past. He’s already blaming himself for the car accident. It’s so tragic! And a big compliment because you’ve written this so lifelike. I think there’s no other way Jesse could have behaved at this moment, in his situation. Again, I’m somehow glad that I know what’s coming, so I’m prepared for the pain and hurt Justin and Brian will have to endure. Again, a big hug and warmest regards, a.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 13, 2016 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 24: Turning Point - Part Two

Hi my friend! No, no, no… It was such a beautiful beginning. Awesome to see Brian not only apologizes but also being able to fight his demons because of his deep love for Justin. Sooo great! And a real hot but also beautiful scene. Thanks for this! And then everything shatters in just one moment. Their whole world breaks apart. I know what’s coming so what should I say. It’s just so tragic! Again you’ve done an amazing job in combining the past and the present. It’s good to learn about their past to understand Brian’s insecurity about Jesse in the present. Thanks again for this brilliant story. A big hug, a.

Author's Response:

This moment is going to change everything! I'm revealed readers have reacting to it they way they did, as imagining something in my head and actually writing it wasn't all so easy. Past and Present are joining now :) 

Again, thank you for the praise!! Your reviews are wonderful to read :):):)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: September 07, 2016 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 25 - New beginnings

Hi! This is one of my favourite stories about Brian and Justin. I've started reading it two days ago and I can't stop. It's great! So many different aspects, beautiful, cute, hot and on the other hand it's exciting, dramatic with so much hurt that I suffer with them. Amazing! And yes, I hope you've already written the missing scene and if not... I'm begging you! Please! Please! Please! :-) Warmest regards, a.

Author's Response:

Hi my friend!

Aw, you made my day with your review! I'm so glad you're loving this story :) and LOL I wrote that sex scene, I hope you will like it! I still have a few things to say before this story is over so stay tuned! I should be able to post the next chapter very soon :)

Thank you again for the heartwarming feedback * happy smile *

* Hugs from France *

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: September 07, 2016 Title: Chapter 30: Chapter 27 - Loving life

Hi again! The next review because I've already read the last two chapters this afternoon. Thanks for writing this scene - it's beautiful and hot and it's good to see them happy at last. They are so cute together. I couldn't imagine one of them with anyone else. They belong together. I just hope it'll last. I'm a little bit afraid because of the return of Jesse. How will Brian react?

And I hope you will update soon. :-)  Maybe I'm a little bit crazy, but I'll stop reading at this point. I think the next chapter is painful again and I can't stand it... Think I have to wait for the next chapter hoping it will be more comforting.

Warmest regards and again thanks very much for this wonderful story so far! a.

Author's Response:

I'm glad you liked this scene! They are so good together right now. As for Jesse's return causing troubles for them, well, we will have to wait and see ;D

I've just finished the next 'present chapter', but I need a few more days to have it corrected before publishing it. Also, this one will be centered mainly on Jesse and his story. And * ahem * I don't blame you on not wanting to read the next chapter right away, as I can safely say this is the most painful so far, and I still haven't finished torturing the boys in the past, but I promise it will get better.

Thank you again sincerely for all your reviews on this work, it means more than I can say. I hope you will enjoy what's to come, even with all the inevitable heartache the characters will go through.

 ♥ Warmest regards back at you ♥

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: October 25, 2016 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 - A New beginning

Second day, second chapter. Interesting chapter because of the background infos about Justin's situation. I like "your Emmett" very much. He is very sensitive. And this first encounter between Justin and Brian is good written (it's somehow funny but also a little sad). Warmest regards! a.

Author's Response:

Yes, this chapter helped to understand Justin's story. Emmett is a sweetheart, isn't he? As for Justin and Brian's first encounter, well, as a reader said, Justin had met the big bad wolf. And this is just the beginning :)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: October 31, 2016 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 - Hesitation

Wow! Even after reading this the second time it affects me so much. It's amazing how you are able to let the reader feel this deep feelings between them. Their disruption, their longing, their insecurity, their love. I love this chapter, i love your writing style and I love these two cute, beautiful but also damaged guys. Thanks for sharing this wonderful work! Warmest regards, a.

Author's Response:

I remember not feeling very satisfied when I wrote this chapter, so I'm glad you like it. This story was a challenge, and still is, even if it's easier now; Thank you for all your comments!!

* Hugs *

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 09, 2016 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 - Caring

Hi again! Hm, I wanted to re-read a chapter a day and give a review but I don't manage it. However. I must admit I'm really looking forward to read the last three or four chapters which are new to me. What I like about this chapter is the background you've given us about Brian and his relationship to his father. It's nice because one get a little idea about a grown-up Brian. While reading it the first time it also makes me curious about the previous events between Brian and his father. Yeah, and then the sentence "when he came along" :-) Great! Thanks again!

Author's Response:

Hi my friend! Always a delight to see a review from you. For your information, I only have two chapters left to write and an epilogue, so I plan to finish the story before Christmas. Maybe you will enjoy better reading it then knowing it's completed. As you wish, but I'd understand if you'd prefer that, even if of course, I'm a sucker for reviews ;D

So glad to read your beautiful thoughts again! Thank you so much for the support :) * Hugs! *

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 10, 2016 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 - Revelations

“Cry” This is so heartbreaking and again very intensive. I have to praise you again. You know, I start reading a new chapter and just after a few sentences, I can feel the mood. There is so much sadness and one can feel the hurt Brian is feeling (I mean not only about Justin but also about many other things in his life) but also their longing for each other. I really like your idea about how some people changed, influenced or engraved us although they might not be a part of our lives anymore. I’m still thinking very often about one special person or sometimes dream of him although I haven’t seen him for more than 13 years. And no, I’ll go on re-reading it even if you haven’t finished yet. I just won’t read it as fast as the first time. Thanks very much and a big hug! a.

Author's Response:

Hi my friend! Aww, so happy to see that you're drawned easily into the story :) Thank you for saying me that. This chapter was bittersweet (I'm actually checking the chapter as you write the reviews lol) and the part about remembering people who are now estrangled can be so true for some people, as it is for you. Thank you for reading my friend and for your beautiful words! I'm working on the penultimate chapter as I write this :) * Hugs!*

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 14, 2016 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11 - Who's left behind

Hi again! This time just a few words. I like your Michael. There are many stories with an anti-Michael and somehow I can understand this opinion. In my opinion, there are these two sides of Michael in the show. The one who is in love with Brian, who does everything Brian asks of him and not accepting the relationship and the bond Brian and Justin share, but on the other hand, there is the Michael who also told Justin that Brian really loves him. Whatever. Again warmest regards, thanks for your wonderful story and a big hug! a.

Author's Response:

I'm one of those who like Michael. Sure, at times, he was annoying especially at the beginning of the show, but who wasn't once in a while. I agree with you about him having different sides. I chose to make him a good guy here, as he is not in love with Brian like he was in the show, thanks to Jesse mainly. But I'm sooo glad you like him here, as I know he is far from being a popular character. In fact, I created Jesse here partly for that reason, so that the readers wouldn't be influenced by their previous judgement about his character. I have a feeling if Michael had been the one hurt in here and rejecting Brian, people would have hated him more LOL

Again, a huge thank you my friend!!! ♥ Hugs ♥

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 16, 2016 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13 - Decision

 

Hello! I’m glad that Justin was honest with Tyler and also with himself and yeah, also with Brian. Thanks for this passionate scene at Kinnetik – hot but also cute. And I’m also glad that Brian has grown up and doesn’t push Justin away. I’m looking forward to the next chapters because not only is the present now getting brighter but also the past is still bright. J Warmest regards and a big hug! a.

 

Author's Response:

Justin had to be honest if they were to find their way to each other in the present. i'm glad you like the Kinnetic office's scene!! I also enjoyed writing that one. The contrast, especially for Brian, in the past and in the present is really interesting to play here. 

Warmest regards back at you and a gazillion of hugs :)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 22, 2016 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15 - Reunions and surprises

And hi again! Just a few words. I really like how you characterised everyone. They are all amiable in ther own way. Warmest regards and a big hug again!!! a.

Author's Response:

Thank you!!!! Warmest regards back at you :) :) :)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 24, 2016 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17 - New promises

Hi again! It’s funny. Every time I ended reading a chapter I want to stay in that time, want to know what happens next. Then I start the next chapter and after reading a few sentences I’m again so fascinated by it that I forget that I actual wanted to stay in the other time. You always create such an intensive atmosphere. Awesome. I really like the conversations between Brian, his father and Dr. Collier and also between Brian and Debbie. Fortunately Brian has someone he can open up a little and ask for advice. And then this phone-call. It’s so beautiful to read how carefully they behave to each other. Warmest regards and a big hug! a.

Author's Response:

That's actually the best compliment you can give me, so THANK YOU SO MUCH!

And yeah!!! So glad you like the scene with Brian's father, and Debbie. I really enjoy writing about them in this story :)

Thank you again :) You're awesome!!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 29, 2016 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19 - Moving On

Hi again! Yeah, I think you’re right with what you wrote about Brian’s friends. Furthermore, in the show they are mainly Brian’s friends against what in your story Justin first gets to know Emmett and started a friendship with him before he gets to know Brian. Michael – yeah, this is a different story. There are moments where I get so angry about his behavior as when he told Brian that they know about the cancer, but on the other hand he tried to repair his mistakes when he spoke with Justin about Brian’s behavior. But I think also this is life – we all make mistakes.

So, this chapter. I really like how you describe Brian’s thoughts while waiting for Justin at the diner (that he was always on his mind – ridiculously romantic :-) ) and their conversation, teasing one another. It’s great to see that “it was only time” and that it seems as if their separation hasn’t destroyed too much but was necessary in some way.

Justin is very mature – how he handles the one-night-stand between Brian and Lindsay. And I’m glad that he has forgiven Brian and tries also to forgive Lindsay, ‘cause in the end there is Gus – best what could have happened to Brian – besides Justin of course!

I know I’ve written this before – I really love your writing-style! Big hug!!! a.

Author's Response:

Hi my friend! Sorry about the delay in my response, I'm on a trip and typing on my phone (thank you wifi!!) so this won't be too long but I promise to respond to you properly as soon as I get back!

I just love your revieww :) Thank you so much for that and for the compliment on my writing :) it makes me soooooo happy!!!

a big hug me dear friend!!! And I promise to respond with more details as soon as I will be back to France next week! * hugs *

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 09, 2016 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22 - Seeds of Doubt

Hi my friend! This is such a painful but also beautiful chapter at the end, but first, I would like to answer your answer to my review on chapter 20. I think you’ve misunderstood. „Brian is hurting Justin over and over again“ This only referred to “your” Brian and I understand that he’s only hurting Justin mostly because of his own past and insecurity and because of believing that he isn’t worth being loved. And “your” Justin isn’t hurting Brian. I think he just tries again and again to deal with the shit Brian’s sometimes throwing at him but I think it’s so hard to endure it all. With their relationship in the show it’s different. I agree, they are hurting each other. In my opinion, Justin is too young, too unexperienced and therefore not able to deal with the kind of relationship Brian is offering. And Brian, yeah, it’s difficult, because on one hand his very mature, he knows what he wants, giving Justin so much, trying not to expect something, being honest, but on the other hand, there are moments when he is hurting Justin so much (I remember this picnic-scene where Brian refused and nearly laughed about him). There would be so much more to say about it… It would have been good if they would have talked more to each other, but okay, it was the show and it was sadly meant to be this way.

So, again, you have done a real good job in showing Brian’s inner conflict. Not able to deal with this situation in another way, but also never forgetting about Justin no matter how drunken or in what a state of mind he is. Would have been cute if it isn’t so sad. And the last sentence nearly broke my heart “maybe he was enough” – if he just could have a little more trust in Justin and more important self-confidence! As always, brilliant! Thanks and a big hug!!!!!! a.

 

 

 

 

Author's Response:

I undersatnd what you're saying. Brian in that story is so fucked up, even more than in the show (haha). He also is 'only' four years older than Justin here, which change their dynamic of course. But you got it. Brian's inner conflict is dictating his life, and preventing him from being the man he could be. He will change eventually, but the journey will be a long one, full of heartache and uncertainties. But in the end, it will be worth it, I promise :)

Thank you as always for your detailed reviews. Always a delight to read your thoughts! A big hug my friend :):):)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 18, 2016 Title: Chapter 29: Chapter 26 - This is just goodbye

Hi again! I’ve already written a review the first time I’ve read this chapter and there isn’t so much more to say about it. It hurts and I suffer with both Brian, Justin and Jesse. I somehow admire Justin and his strength. You’ve said it before in one of your answers and I agree. He’s a saint! J I don’t know if I could handle such a situation. And when Justin says “I hope you will find what you are looking for…” – It shows his deep true love for Brian and it’s somehow so altruistic. Warmest regards, a.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 19, 2016 Title: Chapter 31: Chapter 28 - Drifting to the breaking point

Hi my friend! What should I say… This is such an intense and sad chapter. But I think they would have split up anyway. And although Brian tries to stop his way of acting, his self-destruction, it seems as if there was already too much broken, as if it was already too late. The pregnancy seems to be the final straw. But the result is Gus and without Gus I don’t think that Brian would have been able to change his life, being able to believe in love or believe in being worth to be loved. So, as tragic and painful as it all is, everything seems to be somehow necessary. And In the present they get their second chance! Very well written. Warmest regards and a big hug! a.

Author's Response:

You're absolutely right. Gus is the reason why Brian will finally be able to move on. So, yes, it's painful but right now, Brian's fears and guilt are leading his life. He is scared out of his mind. He is lost. He feels guilty for so many things. He needs a shrink if you ask me LOL 

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 19, 2016 Title: Chapter 33: Chapter 30 - Broken

No, no, no – this so sad, tragic, heartbreaking and real intense. I really admire how you describe Brian and his inner turmoil, his fight against his demons, losing it more and more. He loves Justin so deeply but doesn’t feel worth being loved, thinks that Justin would deserve better. One can feel his despair, so afraid of losing Justin but seeing no other way as to let him go by pushing him away. I suffer for them both. For Brian because of his hopelessness and self-destruction. And for Justin because he has to endure so much, there is just no end, it’s just getting worse and worse until everything shatters. And I have to repeat your words. Justin really is a saint. Thinking what would be best for all the others mainly for Brian, recognizing how wrong an abortion would be, trying again and again to reach Brian and getting more and more hurt by the person he loves so much and so selflessly. And a big big compliment to you. One can feel their emotions, their fear, the little hope Justin has for a few moments, the despair, the anger, the rage and finally after Brian’s left Justin’s pain and emptiness. “Justin’s love wasn’t enough” – so sad! Warmest regards, a.

Author's Response:

What can I say that you hadn't already said? This chapter was so hard to write and even when I pusblished it, I was unsatisfied with it. But this sentence 'Jutsin's love wasn't enough' resumes very well their relationship up to that point. Brian needs to find himself alone, to realize he needs to forgive himself, and to move on. He is still a 18 years old teenager stuck on the scene of the car crash for now. However, Justin might be gone, but Brian will eventually listen to him, even if t's too late for them at that time. The good news is, the major angst is over my friend!! Warmest regards back at you and thank you again for all your wonderful reviews. Warms my heart :)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 22, 2016 Title: Chapter 35: Chapter 32 - A new life

Hi my friend! Oh, it’s still so sad. I was a little surprised because I hadn’t expect Brian to act this way the next morning. Thinking about his behavior since Jesse’s stabbing and more important realizing that this and the car-accident of his family wasn’t his fault but also realizing how much he had hurt Justin. I think this is a first step in defeating his demons. And he wants to apologize to Justin! And then Justin’s gone! Terrible heartbreaking! I wonder what would / could have been if Justin had stayed… Would his love had been enough after all this time? But it’s too late. And Brian falls apart once again, blaming it on Lindsay and going back to his pain management. It’s good that he finally listens to Debbie. I’m very curious about the birth of Gus! Big big hug!

Author's Response:

This chapter is still sad, you're right. Brian going to see his dad after his fight with Justin is Brianesque, if I can say that. He is struggling with the idea of becoming a father (even though he doesn't want to, deep down he knows it's not that simple) and he knows his own father is the man who is holding him back and making him acting like a cunt. Well, he slowly but surely realizes that HE is the one who can do something about it, and deal with his shit, instead of blaming everyone else. Brian is a smart man. When he blames others, he is always aware that it's bullshit. So, considering he had just let his fears win by screaming awful things at Justin, he is now trying to analyse everything and do the right thing. He just doesn't know that's it's too late to save his relationship with Justin. I doubt Justin staying would have been good for either of them. Brian needed to be alone to grow up. It's painful, but necessary. It will take him months, but he will get there eventually.

As always, thank you so much for all the comments! I also wanted to say how sorry I was for what happened in Berlin. I hope you and your family are alright. Big Hug! ♥♥

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 23, 2016 Title: Chapter 37: Chapter 34 - In his smile

Hi my friend! Again, you’ve done such an amazing job in describing Brian and how he behaves first with Mel… thanking her and apologizing. Wow! And later, at the hospital with Gus and finally being able to meet his father. Makes me happy to see that he is finally able to fight against his fears, his insecurity, his demons and starts to defeat them. Great! But there is still so much sadness and it’s nearly breaking my heart how he thinks about Justin in those important moments of his life. For example, when he thinks about the name Gus and this immediately reminds him of Justin's Teddy or in those moments when he just wishes that Justin would be there with him. “And as a smile appeared on his own lips too, he swore that for a second, Justin was standing in the corner of the room and smiling at him” – This is so fucking beautiful but also incredibly sad. I also love how you combine the past with the present here and thereby this chapter with your first. Nice that we could now also experience the first reunion of the two from Brian's point of view and his thoughts. Brilliant! Big big hug! a.

Author's Response:

I felt like Brian needed to apologize to Mel. I always find their dynamic interesting truthfully. And I loved writing about Gus's birth. Yes, it's bittersweet, but the love Brian will feel for his child will save him in the end. Of course, Brian would have wanted to share all this with Justin, because he thinks that without him, he would not have changed his mind and therefore, Gus would have never been born. It's a good thing they met again years later ;) Again, so glad you're enjoying this so much! You have almost finished now :) I will miss your reviews, they're fantastic!! A big hug and Merry Christmas to you and your family!!!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 22, 2017 Title: Chapter 39: Epilogue

Hi my friend! First, I’m soooo sorry I’ve not reviewed earlier. To be honest I don’t know why I’ve waited so long. But here it is.

I’ve said it before, I really love your writing style. You created such a loveable mood at the wedding during the speech of Brian. And when he starts to speak about Justin… :-) You were right, ridiculously romantic! No, to be honest, I think you let them stay in character this way. I think it would have been too much if there would have been a proposal or something else. But the way you let Brian act and speak just suits him. And I feel very happy for them after all the things they’ve gone through. And although Justin might not expected them I really felt happy for him hearing those three words from Brian at least. They are so cute and beautiful together!

So, what should I say what I haven’t said before… THANKS for this brilliant, beautiful, exciting and amazing story! There was everything: tension, pain, heartbreaking-moments, sorrow, joy, friendship, family, humor, hot scenes, cute and beautiful moments, trust and love! Don’t stop writing! I’ve seen you posted another story yesterday. So, I’m curious…. And I really hope there will be this double-date some day!

So, a big big double-hug and all the best for you! Warmest regards, a.

Author's Response:

Hey! 

Aww, I think I'm blushing right now. What can I say to thank you properly? I'm so, SO thrilled you enjoyed this story so much. Thank you also for all the comments. It's very kind and amazing of you to have taken the time to review each chapter with so much details. So, really, THANK YOU :)

And yes! I'm publishing a new story which will be very different from that one, and which is a collaboration with another author. I hope you enjoy it, but I must warn you it's completely different from Entwined. Not as serious and angsty.

The double date is definitely going to be written with my beta soon, too. I'm eager to place Brian in such a situation LOL.

A gigantic hug to you!!!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ♥♥♥

Warmest regards :)

~ Alois ~ 

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: September 24, 2016 Title: Chapter 2: Only you and you alone, can thrill me like you do

Hello again! Another great chapter. I really like the way you verbalised Brians thoughts. The sarcasm  - "one sunshine wasn't enough” :-) - and his anger towards Justin. And although he had realized how cruelly and meanly he sometimes had treated Justin in the past, he plans on doing it again. A kind of revenge. I felt sorry for Justin and it hurts but it was good to see that Brian also hurts himself with his actions. When I read this chapter for the first time I wondered about the “don’t fall in love with me again”. It brought much tension into the story and was one reason why I couldn’t stop reading yesterday! J Great story, thanks and warmest regards, a.

 

 

 

 

Author's Response:

Brian used anger as a defense. He thought Justin had moved on and he didn't expect that to hurt him too much, not when he was just fine after six years without Justin. Thanks:)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: September 24, 2016 Title: Chapter 4: When you hold my hand, I understand the magic that you do

It’s funny but sometimes also painful to see Brian so confused about Justin. Painful because Brian haven’t got trust in Justin and thinks Justin don’t care about him resulting in Brian trying to hurt Justin through tricking. So stubborn and afraid. But I must admit I am so glad that in this chapter there is finally the change in his behavior. It’s so beautiful how you describe Brian at least admitting to himself he’d missed Justin. I have to say it again. I think you’ve characterized Brian so well. Amazing.

Author's Response:

Thank you, it was so hard to do Brian's head, because well, he is Brian Kinney. I'm glad you liked it. 

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: September 25, 2016 Title: Chapter 6: And fill my heart with love for only you

 

 

I think I love this chapter even more than the one before. They are sooooo cute together. And Brian saying “I love you” in this situation in the shower, later letting Justin top and then the song at Woody’s. Beautiful. Cry…. But Justin seems to getting worse and worse. It hurts. I’m always amazed, when a story can induce such feelings in the reader. Wonderful story. I’m still hoping for an happy-ending! Warmest regards, a.

 

 

Author's Response:

This one has a bittersweet ending. I'll post it as soon as I have it from my beta. Thank you:)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: September 26, 2016 Title: Chapter 8: You're my dream come true

Beautiful. After reading it the second time I love your story even more. They are so cute together. And it’s so great to see this important development not only in Brian but also in Justin. In your first chapter you wrote: “He made a promise to himself that he'd make sure not to let anyone get that closed to him again. He'd continue to be the stud of Liberty avenue. That was what he always would be. It was better than to feel so hopeless when someone you care about was on the operating table and you couldn't do anything except wait. Anything was better than that.” – It’s great to see how much Brian had changed and that he is now able to  accept and endure such insecurity. I am soooo curious about the last chapter and again: Thank you for this wonderful story! Warmest regards, a.

Author's Response:

Yes, that's what I was going for, Brian turning 180, I just hope the transition work. The pace of the story is so important to me. I really, really thank you for the support. It means a lot to me. The last chapter will be so long, 20k+ words and hopefully most of you will like it. Thanks again for reading and commenting:)

Hugs, Nadine 

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: October 01, 2016 Title: Chapter 9: My one and only you

An answer to your answer and a question: Was this your first story? I hope to read more from you! Warmest regards!

Author's Response:

Yeah, this is my first QAF, but I have written a few stories with another fandom. But the last story I did was like more than 3 years already. I felt so rusty when I decided I wanted to write again. I'll try to write some more, but I like to finish the story before posting anything, so maybe it will take some time. Thanks, again:)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 07, 2016 Title: Liberty

Hi again! A very quiet, peaceful chapter (at least until these two mischiefs appeared). I’m so glad that they take their time to spend time with each other, alone, and most important that they talk and listen to each other. And again, it’s so good to see that Brian explains some of his former behaviors to Justin. And I have to repeat myself – you mentioned it through Justin: Brian who says that he doesn’t believe in love, loves Justin in such an incredible deep and amazing way – beautiful. And this time they seem to do it right, creating a foundation with respect, honesty and love. Amazing story so far! Thanks and warmest regards, a.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 18, 2016 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hi! Don't be angry at me but I just have to ask. Is this your own Justin or do you see him like you describe him. i mean - don't get me wrong - he acts very selfish in your story and I just don't consider him like that, but this is your story. And another question. I know maybe it's a little restricted of me but I am too much in Brian and Justin together. This is no story in which they get their hapy end? Nevertheless, best regards, a.

Author's Response: I don't ever get angry with legitimate questions ;-) I see Justin as quite mature for his age - but sometimes, his youth shines through. He's a bit selfish in the beginning of the story, but that's the way he acted after Ethan - waltz back into Brian's life and get what you want. It worked before, he has no reason (yet) to believe that it won't work again. In a lot of long-term relationships, pattterns tend to repeat. Brian and Justin are actually a prime example from what we got to see on screen. Having said that, without giving away too much of my plot - this story is about Brian and Justin and their journey. And I love happy endings. ;-)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 21, 2016 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

An amazing chapter. There are so many ups and downs. At least for those readers like me who want to see them together again. Must be so offending and painful for Justin to see Brian and Judson together and how the behave. And then on the other hand there are Brian’s inner thoughts “My Justin – Looks like shit and is still so beautiful”. “He wants me back. I want him back”. Great! Very good written. And at the end of this chapter I feel so sorry for Brian. For some people friendship has sadly not the same meaning as for others. Warmest regards, a.

Author's Response: I think most people interested in QaF are invested in the relationship Brian and Justin share. I think it's healthy for Justin to see that Brian may want him, but he doesn't need him - he can build a life for himself without Justin. If Justin wants Brian, he really needs to pull up his socks! I'm especially glad you enjoy their "inner voices" because those are difficult to write. What does Brian sound like in the privacy of his own head? If you like it, I got it right.. Really happy you enjoy my story! :-D

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 24, 2016 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Wow! This chapter started somehow harmless and gets more and more intensive. I’m curious to see how Shane will behave in your story. My first impression of him isn’t a good one. I know, he only wants to protect Brian, but he acts as if he knows everything about the relationship of Brian and Justin, convict Justin, but he just got to know one side of the story, didn’t he?

So, Brian’s ill again? Is it a recurrent cancer? Poor Brian! By the way, the scene in which Brian told Justin about his vacation to Ibiza is one good example in the tv show where Justin behaved very loving and grown-up. To tell him he should go and do whatever he has to do and that he loves him no matter what, although I think he was hurt deeply at that moment.

And then Justin breaks down. A very intensive scene. So many self-reproaches. And yeah, I agree to most of them. This moment when he left Babylon with Ethan, you described it so well, there was so much hurt in Brian’s eyes but still a smile in his face. But you know, the moment before, when Justin saw Brian fucking Rage, there was just as much hurt in Justin’s eyes, but okay, no smile in his face. Maybe that’s the difference…

And I really love this moment between them at the end of the chapter. How Brian still stands by his side and tells Shane to leave. There is still this strong connection between them, no matter what or and nothing else matters. :-)

Thanks for your wonderful story! Warmest regards, and also for you a happy Thanksgiving, also I must admit, where I come from we don't celebrate this. a.

Author's Response: I like to start easy and then come up with the heavy stuff ;-) Shane - he'll come around. He's a bit blind where Brian is concerned, but he'll leanr. Eventually ;-) Ibiza - yes! I thought Justin's reaction was just what Brian needed at that moment. One of his better moments! Justin leaving with Ethan - that wasn't fair because he actually went against his own rules about having sex with another partner more than once. Brian fucking Rage - not a cheat, because Justin knew what to expect. Another moment when they were not on the same page... I think picking Rage to fuck was Brian telling Justin something. Thanks for commenting, I appreciate it!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: November 25, 2016 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Hi again! Thanks for your long answer to my last review. It was very interesting and “brain-stimulating” :-) The more I think about it the more I have to agree with what you wrote. Brian was able to live this kind of relationship, almost never questioning what Justin’s doing (I remember this scene after Daphne’s party when Brian simply said “You’ve kissed him” not asking why although he seems to be irritated, maybe also a bit amused that he broke his own rule), letting him made his own mistakes, but standing by his side (Pink Posse and other situations) – it was his “call where he wanted to be” – To understand that this didn’t mean that Brian didn’t care but wanted to let him choose was something Justin wasn’t able to accept / or understand. And I agree, I think he was too young, too little experience with life, at this point when they met he didn’t know much about relationships at all and I think at his age he wasn’t able to understand this kind of relationship which Brian offered. And anyway I think there are less people who are really able to live such relationship no matter what age. Myself can’t – I think. :-)

A question: What do you think, why didn’t Brian tell Justin about his cancer? Was he afraid that Justin would react with some kind of pity or was he really afraid Justin could leave because he “would be no longer perfect”?

Okay, this chapter. Again very well written. I like the way you let the conversations happen. The one between Judson and Brian shows again how much Brian still loves Justin. Makes me happy! I know that it’ll be a long way but maybe they can do it right this time. There are so many issues to clear, but that’s one of the aspects which makes your story so brilliant, exciting and interesting. And as I mentioned before I love this conversation between Jim and Justin. It’s nice to see that someone really seems to care not only about Brian but also about Justin. Jim seems to realize that they shouldn’t protect Brian from Justin but help them fix things. It seems as if Brian had told him very much about his past with Justin and Jim also seems to think that they belong togehter in some way and that Justin hasn’t hurt Brian on purpose but because of his youth, his insecurity and his unexperience. And Justin’s very honest, confessing some of his mistakes. What makes me a little bit sad is that this kind of conversation should have been actual between Brain and Justin. I’m looking forward to the next chapters! Amazing story! Warmest regards, a.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 01, 2016 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Hi again. First, yeah, it’s Germany. How did you know that? Does my English sound so Germany-like? :-)

Then again. I told you before why I don’t like to see Brian too deeply involved with somebody else, but I think in your story it doesn’t hurt so much because (through his thoughts) it’s very clear from the beginning that Brian still loves Justin deeply and no matter what and it’s also good to read that he was totally honest with Judson about Justin from the start.

This chapter: I think this conversations are very well written and with regards of contents so exhausting – reminds me of movies where family members meet again after haven’t seen each other for a long time, speaking about old stuff, reproaching each other. Debbie and Michael are just living in their own world without opening up for anything else is annoying. Yesterday I’ve seen this scene again in which Michael told Brian under tears that he and Justin knows about his illness. Grr, I always get so angry about the way he explains the situation so that it seems as if it was all Justin’s fault or idea.

Back to your chapter: And again, there are this little wonderful moments, in which B. and J. give each other comfort and stand up for each other – automatically, naturally. Great! And I still have this feeling that there is a breaking point in their behavior since Justin’s been given the flowers to Brian. They seem to be much more or just certain of each other!

Thanks again for an amazing chapter! Warmest regards! a.

Author's Response: Your English is very, very good - it's just that the syntax sometimes sounds German. Yes, I felt that was important - Judson is somebody Brian loves and trusts, but what he feels for Justin is deeper than even that. it had to be obvious from the beginning, otherwise the rest of the story would be out of synch. Those conversations are exhausting (they're exhausting to write, too!), but they need to happen. So much between them was left unsaid, or only hinted at. That's a brilliant observation - indeed, Mikey and Debbie have created a world for themselves, and they insist that people fit into the slots they set up for them. Anybody who doesn't fit gets whined at by Mikey or grumbled at by Debbie. That scene where Michael tells Brian he knows about the cancer - what will I do without you. Aargh. It's all about him, he doesn't even see that Brian is maybe scared for himself and doesn't have the energy to reassure Michael. That was not a good moment in their friendship!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 02, 2016 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Hi again! Wow, I’d to read this a few times because it’s so intensive! First thing, Brian is showing his drawings to Justin – what a proof of trust! I really wonder about this boy – does Brian have an elder son? I already knew a little about Erin, so it would make sense. I guess I have to be patient…

Then the conversation. It’s not easy just to say a few words about it. It’s amazing how you guide us from one point to another – and it all make sense. I agree with most of the things Brian is explaining and with his argumentation. The drawing of himself, Rage, the rules – it seems as if Justin hadn’t thought about these things a lot or hadn’t talked to Brian about it. But again. So hadn’t Brian. It’s good to see that they finally start to talk to each other. But after reading this I wondered even more what made Brian stay with Justin in the past. “I thought you were unwilling, not unable.” ? But why was this successful, independent man who could have had everything and anyone so fascinated of this innocent, dependent boy, who lived with his parents and hasn’t ever worked in his life? His tenacity? Was he fascinated with the way Justin behaved (as here I am, I take what I want)? Because he represented something opposite to Brian?

Whatever, what captivated me the most was the realization that this man who says he doesn’t believe in love, loves so deeply with all his heart, without expectations (just a few hopes), no matter how painful it was/is or how often the person he loves hurt him, not trying to change Justin, but accepting him and his mistakes, just helping him to grow up, seeing things, giving him everything that was possible to give. Again, I love your story and the way you let them behave. THANKS! a.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 08, 2016 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17

Hi again! Wow, after this somehow quiet and peaceful chapter there comes so much dramatic and hurt with so many stupid insults and painful discoveries. Debbie and Michael are so out of their minds. First the slapping of JT – but you know, it doesn’t surprises me that it’s normal for Debbie – she’s doing it again and again in the show, doesn’t she? Then Michael – I’ve told you before, the Michael in the show confuses me, regard him with mixed feelings, but your Michael… no words for it, no mixed feelings, I think he needs professional help. Imagine someone is doing this to one. To be so powerful, that he can change one’s life and through these changes destroy important things in someone’s life, take away important or beloved people from one. Terrible, horrible. I’m so sorry for Brian. A betrayal of such an extent over such a long time. Unimaginable!

Again, very well written. Brilliant. How you think about so little but important details like Brian who is asking Gus to leave with his sister. What I really love is the way Justin, Judson and Shane start to bond because of their honest love for Brian, it’s great to see how the communicate just through little gestures or looks. And I also love the way Brian and Justin act together, also through gestures, looks or touches… They are there for each other, comfort each other, stand up for each other – belonging together without a doubt.

And again, I’m curious about Erin and this boy. It seems as if Brian’s really got an elder son. But how? I’m so curious. Thanks! Warmest regards, a.

Author's Response: Hi you! Love hearing from you! :-) Yes, that's right - Debbie does slap folks on the show, that's why I thought she and Michael wouldn't think twice about slapping JR! Mikey - definitely an ambiguous character on screen. He had his moments (as did Ted) but often I just felt like slapping him, or telling him to grow up (or grow a pair - like when he won't come out at work). It's often the worms that change your life - the upright person will face you, a worm will go behind your back and do a lot of damage without you ever seeing it. Very glad you enjoy the way I weave the tale... I wanted Brian and Justin to become closer again, but gradually and gently. And I wanted to show that Brian takes care of the kids! :-) Next chapter is up, you'll find out a bit more so I hope you enjoy!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 18, 2016 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Hi again! Another relaxed chapter. An unstressed and peaceful atmosphere. And I really love this dancing scene. I always loved to see them dancing together in the show especially this scene after their reunion in season 3 - it's hot and beautiful - or their dancing at the Pride Day (although this was not so much dancing more hugging and kissing, but it was a beautiful and cute scene). Warmest regards, a.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: December 26, 2016 Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23

Hi again! It’s so good that the two are finally alone, having time for each other. It’s necessary. Will we learn more about the content of these mails? I’m amazed how calm they seem to be about it. But okay, what really matters is that they are now together. They can’t change the past. But as I said before it hurts so much to think about them being separated and both wondering what goes on and why there are no answers. F… Michael. I really love the way Brian treats their relationship. It’s just so natural, no doubt that they belong together. And I’m really looking forward to the next chapter… :-)

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 03, 2017 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25

And again, what should I say. Hot and in the end so beautiful when Brian is saying “Home”, thinking about Justin making him care about himself. This is good in view of his cancer. It will hopefully help him fighting it. You are so talented and let them be so beautiful together. Thanks again for sharing this amazing story!

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 08, 2017 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27

Hi again! Another interesting chapter. But I don’t understand… why has it always to be Justin who apologizes… They both wrote mails, which due to Michael didn’t arrive, and they both were desperate but none of them tried to reach the other by phone for example.

And again, Erin is mentioned. “Only our Erin could protect Brian from himself” – I’m so curious about her and her relationship to Brian… Then, I’m very curious about the development of Shane. He is still so mistrustful of Justin….

I must say, Jennifer’s behavior annoys me more and more. Questioning his homosexuality? A bounty hunter? How offensive and hurtful! I can’t understand why she thinks so less about Justin. “Nothing could convince her that Justin was good for Brian.“ One get the impression as if she would like it much more if Brian would be her son and not Justin. And then even worse… She is questioning if Justin is worth loving!!?? What kind of mother acts this way? It’s so shabby.

I really love your story and I will miss your updates! But I wish you and your sister all the best!!! Warmest regards! a.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 31, 2017 Title: Chapter 15: Cavalry Charge

Oh oh, I can understand that this was painful for Brian. Justin expecting him doing some kind of pain management but I’m happy that you also let him reflect and then realize, why Justin thinks this way and that this was his “normal” way of reacting in former times. And it also shows Justin’s insecurities deep inside. What I also really like about this is the way both try to put themselves in the other to understand the motives. And it also shows, how far they have come, especially Brian, because he doesn’t exclude Justin but calls him instantly. And then – oh my god, for the first time Brian stands up against Michael, finally telling him his opinion, showing him in a very clear way where he stand with Justin! Thank you so much for this and for this beautiful end of the chapter!!!! Now, I have a stupid smile on my face! :-)

Author's Response:

I'm so glad you liked it. I believe that people are able to grown in wisdom as well as in knowledge and self-knowledge and that's what I was aiming for with Brian especially.  It doesn't mean he's suddenly going to become all soft and feely, but it does mean that he can deal with his anxieties and insecurities better. And part of Justin's growth in wisdom and in trust is in acknowledging that process.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 31, 2017 Title: Chapter 17: Baby Makers

Oh, Lindsay - At the last moment you’ve let her realize, what a shit she’s talking about. I must say, in the show I’ve always thought she wants to help Justin and Brian, helping Brian to see what’s important, but then at S5 I just didn’t get it. How could she… So I must say, it’s okay that you let her finally realize, let her see how happy Brian is because of Justin, but I must admit, I also like those stories in which she is nearly as bitchy as Michael (and gets what she deserves). Warmest regards, a.

Author's Response:

Yes.  I think Lindsay was prepared to "support" Brian being with Justin, as long as he was fighting it.  But I think from even S4 onwards, once Brian showed he was prepared to think of himself as being in a relationship, she was uncomfortable with that.

The scene in 401(?) where she and Mel just kind of shrug off the fact that Brian has virtually destroyed his career and financial stability to bring down Stockwell seemed incredibly cold to me.  Mel maybe, but Linds should surely have been more concerned.  And as for S5 ...  don't get me started.  I wound up disliking Linds maybe even more than Mikey.

Have you read my Justin!Rage stories.  You might like them.  They're listed here:  http://midnightwhispers.net/viewseries.php?seriesid=121

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 26, 2017 Title: Chapter 2: The Experiment Continues

Hi! So, I’m back. It’s so great how you express their thoughts. They are both so cute and sometimes also funny. I really like how you picture Brian and that he’s finally ready to go a step forward. Their interactions are beautiful – “I’m glad you’re home”. And I love that you change the events after Ethan. Although Justin seemed to be content, I didn’t liked this scene in the tv show when – after this beautiful blow job – the 11 o’clock fuck appears. To me it was painful – they seemed to be so happy together and I found this unnecessary. Made me sad. So, I love your story so far – it’s beautiful, cute and also funny. Warmest regards, a

Author's Response:

Thank you so much.  I think that Brian at the end of S3 was clearly ready to take a step forward.  He'd listened to both Justin and his own heart over Stockwell and he'd let Justin see him vulnerable and shaken in the "possession withdrawal" scene (as opposed to his bravado when discussing things with Michael).  My biggest single criticism of the canon writing was that they seemed to have no idea how to create dramatic tension with BJ except to split them up and get them back together.  As if trying to build a relationship in their circumstances with their friends wouldn't provide its own tensions.

And ITA about the "my 11 o'clock fuck" scene.  It's hard to understand what's going through Brian's head there.  Testing the "I know what to expect" line, maybe.  Still a little wary after the whole Ethan thing.  Not sure.  But I agree, it's an uncomfortable scene.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 26, 2017 Title: Chapter 4: Newsflash

Hi again! I’m so fascinated by your Brian. This is what I would have liked to see. He allows not only emotions but also consolation, which often results in strength. It’s so beautiful to see them together this way. “My own essential” – ridiculous romantic, but I love it! :-) And it suits them (I mean, in my opinion you haven’t change their characters). Thanks!

By the way, beautiful banner!

Author's Response:

Thank you.  The line about not changing their characters is really important to me.  I love these characters.  I don't want to change their essential essence, but I do want them to be able to grow and develop. 

Again, I think we saw glimpses of this Brian at the end of S3 - the "possession withdrawal" scene and then the scene in Woodies when Deekins' victory is announced and he clings on to Justin and shares with him that moment of boneless relief that all their sacrifices hadn't been for nothing. Even the "I guess I really have lost everything" line - he's a little scared and he's not afraid to let Justin know that in his own Brian-esque way.  But then in S4 that Brian just disappeared.  And, even worse, IMO - the Justin who cared what Brian was feeling disappeared.  Horrible.

 

Glad you liked the banner.  This was one of my very first forays into Photoshop.  I'm a long way from being an expert - or even particularly proficient, but I do enjoy messing about with these lovely images.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 27, 2017 Title: Chapter 6: Footnote

Hi again! I’m so glad that this is not the end! J

Those “damned allergies” made me laugh. Again, very beautiful, but also funny moments. And I really love this caring Brian who is so proud of his Justin. Reminds me of these few moments in S2 where he also cares and in my opinion it was not just because he felt he was to blame (like the bullshit Michael said).

And you are right. We have to take a stand and I hope we have the strength for this. “We live in troubled times” Here in Germany there are elections this year and we have this new right party, which became unfortunately very popular and I’m real afraid that they’ll get many votes. There are so many things to worry about and it’s real frightening, but yeah, we have to take a stand.

Author's Response:

Glad you enjoyed this one.  It was written after an incident that happened to a friend of mine and for a long while I'd hoped that we were moving past that.  Now ... now I'm frightened, to be honest.  The extreme Right seems to be gaining ground everywhere and although I tell myself that it's just a swing of the pendulum, I have to admit that I've not seen anything quite like this in my lifetime and it frightens me.  But it also inspires me to fight against it.  We've come too far to let it all be swept away now by bigotry and ignorance.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 28, 2017 Title: Chapter 8: Side Effects

Hi again! I watched this “ We are partners” scene again, and I liked it, but I think you’re right, it seems as if there could have been something in between – but I think, for me, there were far too few scenes about / with them anyway. What am I saying, the whole show could have been only about those two. I’m a little bit crazy, I know. Whatever. :-)

I was born in Berlin and lived here my whole life, so I think I’m kind of lucky because although those terrible things as bashing someone because of his/her color or political / sexual orientation happens also here, it is still a very open city. Our former mayor is gay and he was very open with it. Was a good thing, I like him very much. So, as I said I’m frightened but there is still hope.

So, thanks for this chapter. You’re right, there were so many drastic changes and now they also have to deal with normal everyday problems which occur in every relationship at some time. But it’s important for them and another step forward. I really like how you let them deal with it… talk! This is something Brian (and also Justin) isn’t used to do and I missed it so much in the show. But what I don’t get… What is on Brian’s mind? Michael? And it’s so cute with the dinner plans, and the weekend and how Brian tells Justin about the experiment. You let them be so great together! Thanks and warmest regards!

Author's Response:

"the whole show could have been only about those two" - oh, yes.  For me, at least half of the other plot lines could have been done away with.  Just about any scene with Michael and Ben for a start.  Especially their sex scenes.  Ugh!  However ...

Yes ... there is something on Brian's mind ... and he'll tell Justin about it eventually. 

Good to "meet" someone who's on the side of the angels in this dark time.  Gives me hope and we all need that.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments.  They are truly much appreciated.

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 28, 2017 Title: Chapter 10: Trust and Betrayals

There’s something more which I really love about the way you are letting them behave. They are so sensitive and affectionate to each other. Just by thoughts and looks and small gestures. There is so much love and I love it! And it’s so obvious how much you love them. Because you create them this way but they are the same as in the show only that there they weren’t allowed to behave this way.

For me what you are doing with Michael’s character is absolutely okay and understandable. I don’t like him very much. It annoyed me so often that he got away with his shit. And especially that Brian let him always got away with it. I think, the most awful scene for me was when he told Brian that they know about the cancer. And then his whining: “when I lost you, I don’t know what to do…” – It’s just about himself. It’s so pathetic…. So in my opinion, you characterized him very well! Warmest regards, a.

Author's Response:

Thank you again.

 

ITA about the cancer scene.  There are a few that really stick in my craw and that's one of them.  Some of the others are when he says to Brian "you always danced with Justin" (while Justin's still in hospital) and of course the infamous "fell off the roof" line in 309.  The snarky way he says that is just ... horrible.  His best friend is happy again for the first time for months, but Mikey couldn't be happy for him because now Brian's attention will be back on Justin.  Like you said - all about him.  (I mean, he could have said that line happily, laughing, gloating almost over Ethan's downfall - but he didn't.)  Not to mention the "should have left him there" line, and the "who would?" line and ... and ... and.  Seriously, people who think that Brian is the asshole in that relationship simply don't actually listen to what Michael says and don't actually think about the implications of what he does.

 

You know, your comment about "it's obvious how much you love them" may well be just about the loveliest thing anyone has ever said about my stories.  Thank you so much.

 

Reviewer: aglaja5 Signed
Date: January 30, 2017 Title: Chapter 12: Dinner and Dialogue

“He gave me a “what the fuck?” look. – :-) Again, you made me laugh. It’s just so amazing how you picture them (just through thoughts, words, looks, gestures). How I would have loved to see those scenes in the show.

Ita with what you said about the confidence – but I think it’s goes both ways. And unfortunately they were so often at different levels. Maybe it was just coincidence and I do too much interpretation but when Justin returned from L.A. and Brian asked, why he returned, Justin says “can’t imagine” and Brian looked so hurt. Later, when Justin asks why they still trying to be together, Brian answers “Damned, if I’d know” – in German they translated both the same way “Wenn ich das wüsste” and I always thought, this was Brian’s way to give it back. I don’t know… So, I’m really glad that you give them the opportunity to develop in the same direction at the same time. And it’s amazing how far they have come. Open up, talk, Brian being finally able to trust and starts to overcome some of his insecurities a little bit. And I love the way you let them comfort each other.

I’m kind of speechless when it comes to Michael. I’m just glad that Brian haven’t answered his bull-shit and shares this with Justin. Together they are stronger. Thanks again!

Author's Response:

I've always figured that the boys would often have been playful with each other.  We do get glimpses of it in canon (like when Justin is trying to persuade Brian to come to Babylon with him in the Kip arc) but not nearly enough. 

 

And I agree with you about the parallels in the two scenes you mention.  They were both so hard to watch. 

 

Long before Showtime thought up the "boys to men" slogan for S5 I really wanted to give them both a chance to grow.  And I couldn't see any reason why they had to grow apart.  If Brian was allowed to grow into trusting a little more, and trying to be a little more open, then Justin could also grow in not being quite as emotionally needy as he was as a teenager.

 

So growth could bring them closer, not force them apart.

 

As for Mikey - well ... they way he expected Brian to be putting his feelings first while Justin was still in the hospital and Brian was drowning in guilt (I have never forgotten the sheer nastiness of the "you always danced with Justin" line) ... there is nothing I would put past him.  Nothing.