Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Endings and Beginnings

Chapter 7


The week had been restful but Justin still felt raw as he made his way to the terminal. He was dreading the moment when he would enter their home. He had always relished that moment whenever they had traveled but now the thought of it caused his stomach to twist. He tightened his grip on Stephen ignoring his Mother’s continuous litany of requests as they neared the security check point. Brian had offered to drive him to the airport but he had already imposed enough on that friendship. Brian had been wonderful especially considering the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in three years. He could still remember the last time he had spoken to the other man. They’d been in the backroom of Babylon, Ethan had just signed the contract forcing Justin into the shadows. Justin had been furious with the older man for interfering. They had both said hurtful things.


“Justin? Justin? Are you listening to me?” Justin looked over realizing that his Mother was addressing him. He placed his bag on the conveyor and gave the best smile he could muster.


“Yeah sorry. I heard you. I’ll call when I get in. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. Thanks for everything.” He watched as Jennifer kissed her grandson one last time tears already forming in her eyes.


“You call me if you need anything.” She smiled with concern evident in her eyes. Justin nodded trying his best to give her the assurance that she needed in order to walk away.


Once he and Stephen were through security, Justin found his gate and settled in to wait for his flight. He felt numb looking around at all the other travelers. There was a young couple a few seats over reading a magazine together laughing, another family had just arrived and the mother was trying to get the kids to decide on a snack before the flight, and there were two men both professionally dressed in business suits discussing something in the Times.


Justin closed his eyes feeling Stephen’s breath on his neck. The baby had drifted off shortly after Justin had found a seat in the waiting area. He was such a good baby. Justin knew he would be lost without him. He wondered for a moment if he would always feel so numb. Somehow he doubted it and couldn’t help but feel a bit afraid of what he might feel next. He knew he had a lot of unresolved issues with Ethan. It would take time to sort them all out. He just honestly wondered if he wanted to. What was the point? What good could come from trying to figure out what had gone wrong or right between them? Stephen shifted in his sleep and Justin relaxed trying to rest. He would need his strength he had a long life ahead of him.



*******************************


“Ethan had mentioned that you were looking for something in our area and I just thought I would contact you first.” Justin cradled the phone to his neck as he continued sorting the laundry. The apartment had been a mess when they had arrived. If he had any hopes at all of subletting it he would have to get it cleaned up fast.


“Yes I am very interested. Are you sure that this is a good time? I don’t want you to feel rushed or anything.” Came the French accented voice on the other end of the line.


“No this is a perfect time. I really don’t need all of this space. Can you come by tomorrow?” Justin was hopeful that the man would take one look at the location and snap it up. Affordable apartments were precious in New York. Ethan’s agent had found this one for the two men. It was on a quiet street, in a friendly neighborhood. Justin would miss the Standski family who owned the grocery store to doors down. He would miss the sound of the children playing in the play yard down the street and Mrs.Donovan giving him parenting advice whenever he picked up Ethan’s tux at the cleaners.


“Yes is noon ok?” The man asked.


“Perfect. See you then.” Justin ended their conversation. If he could get rid of the apartment maybe he could find a way out of this financial nightmare. Justin reasoned that he had just enough money to pay off their current bills. He hated the thought of returning back to Pittsburgh flat broke. If he could get a deposit from whoever decided to sublet the apartment then maybe he would have enough to hold them over until he could find a job. Sighing he picked up Stephen from his play pen.


“You ready to learn how to do laundry?” He teased kissing his son’s neck. “ You’re going to have to start pulling your own weight around here.” He smiled at his son. He couldn’t wait to get out of the apartment. He could see, smell and feel Ethan in each and every room. He tried to keep his focus on all the work that was pressing in on him but from time to time the memories would overwhelm him.


Upon entering the apartment the previous day, Justin had been surprised how comforting it had felt. He released Stephen to his play pen then sunk down into his chair and let the waves of familiarity wash over him as memory after memory played through his mind. He’d felt so close to Ethan during that time. In the apartment he felt closer to the musician than he had felt since the accident. It was as if the man were still alive, he was merely at work. Justin fought to stay centered all afternoon but found himself occasionally glancing up at the front door as if expecting the man to walk through it.


Hours later his face streaked with tears, he finally accepted that Ethan was never coming home again. It was then that he realized that the sensations washing over and around him were no longer comforting but torturous. Ghosts of smiles and soft sensual laughter echoed from every corner of the room. Angry voices and slamming doors rushed at him from every direction.


Justin leaned against the counter finding it difficult to breathe as the apartment seemed to whirl around him. A panic attack, one of the few remaining consequences of his prom, crouched on the edge of his sanity.


By the first lights of dawn he had known that he and Stephen had no place in New York City. It wasn’t his home not anymore. The man he had loved was gone and with him the life that Justin and Stephen had come to love. Justin would return to the Pitts and carve out a life for himself and Stephen.


Justin carried the basket of clothes down to the laundry room, Stephen precariously balanced on his hip. Mr. Kolsky, the building manager, was there talking to a service crew.


“Mr. Kolsky.” Justin greeted him. The man was definitely homophobic but not aggressive in his dislike for the lifestyle. He just allowed his verbal distain to make his opinions heard loud and clear.


“Heard about your *partner*.” He sniffed barely giving either Justin or Stephen a glance. “This won’t change when the rents due. And yours is past due.” He reported. Justin bristled at the man’s words.


“It can’t be. Ethan brought you the check last week. I know because I made it out myself.” Justin replied resenting his need to report to this man.


“Nope, in fact Mr. Gold had assured me that he would be paying me upon his return this week.” Kolsky stared unfeeling into Justin’s eyes. “I’ll be up later to get my money.” He pushed past the blonde. Justin heard his footsteps echoing down the hall.


“Breathe Justin Breathe.” He kept telling himself. He felt a surge of anger. What had Ethan done with the rent check? Pulling back he noted the concerned look on his son’s face. As much as he wanted he didn’t have any comfort left to offer the boy.


What would Ethan have done with that money? Why hadn’t he paid like he’d said that he had? If he spent that money on something else, like the trip, then they were sunk. Justin knew he didn’t have the funds to cover another rent check. He also knew the penalty clause in their rent agreement as it related to writing hot checks. He’d lose everything. Kolsky could attach all of their possession. Justin would have nothing.


He wasn’t sure how long he sat there staring off into space trying to cope. Stephen grew restless and began complaining struggling to be free. Justin took a deep breath and pushed it out forcefully to clear his mind.


“Ok.” He said aloud to himself. “First laundry, then call the bank to see if the funds are really gone, no check on credit card limit then see about the lost check, feed Stephen, then look for the lease, check on penalty for late and uncollectible payments, then call Melanie.” It was a litany he recited until the laundry was finally finished and he could to move to the next item on his list.


He’d known things were going to be tight but he’d expected to have more time. Ethan had taken that from him now and he had to wonder what other little secrets his partner had been hiding. Justin had thought the days of deception between them were over. Perhaps he’d been a fool all along.


****************************


“Hey Jen.” Deb smiled brightly welcoming the other woman into her home. “How are you ? How is Sunshine?” She asked before Jennifer was even inside her home.


Vic stepped forward and embrace the woman as well. “How about some chocolate cake? I just made it.” He announced. To his surprise she nodded and smiled.


Once they were all seated around the table Deb and Vic continued to make small talk knowing that Jennifer would talk when she was ready. She and Justin were so much alike in that way.


“I’m worried about him.” She announced. “How is he ever going to survive this?” She asked looking to both of them for answers or reassurance. Deb and Vic exchanged a long look before turning back to her.


“What choice does he have Jen?” Vic asked. “He has a child depending on him.” Jen nodded. She knew that Justin would never let Stephen down, but then she remembered how exhausted he had sounded on the phone last night when he had arrived home. She couldn’t imagine how overwhelming walking into that apartment must have been. She had felt so lost after her divorce and that had been her decision. She couldn’t imagine being haunted by memories of a spouse who had been tragically ripped from her life.


“He sounds so exhausted.” She shook her head.


“Is he staying in New York?” Deb asked reaching across the table and taking her hand.


“He hasn’t decided I don’t think. Part of me wants him to, but another part thinks he needs to come home.”


“Why would you want him to be there all alone? I would think that would be awful for him.” Deb asked her confusion evident by her tone.


“He stayed with Brian. Did you know that?” She asked irritation bleeding through her words.


“What?” Vic and Deb both asked.


“While he was home for the funeral he spent the night with Brian.” There was a long silence as everyone at the table came to terms with what that could and could not mean.


‘I’m sure it wasn’t -- I am sure that Brian was just listening to him. You know they were friends.” Deb stuttered.


“Really?” Jennifer asked. “When? When Brian wasn’t fucking him?” She shook her head. She hated that word and yet it was the only word to describe what Brian Kinney had ever done to her son.


“Brian cares for Justin, Jen. You should have seen him that first year after Justin left. He was a lost soul. It was obvious to everyone. It almost killed him when that kid left him.” Vic explained determined to defend Brian.


“I wouldn’t know about that.” Jennifer replied. “I didn’t see him or Justin for that matter. Justin jumped up and took off for New York, then the next thing I know I am going to be a grandmother.” She shook her head. “Everything always seems to be so chaotic with Justin. His life just seems to move from one disaster to the next. “


“Disaster? I would hardly call Stephen a disaster.” Debbie corrected her. “If you think he is then you don’t deserve to be his grandmother.” She was irritated with the other woman who always managed to see what was wrong and never all that was right.


“Look whether or not he is with Brian he needs to be back here so that we can help him.” Vic interjected trying to intercept the fight that was about to be launched.


Jennifer and Deb both nodded. “I didn’t mean Stephen. I love him. I must admit I was not too thrilled with Justin and Ethan announced that they were going to be parents, but Stephen has been very good for my son. I just know he is hurting and I don’t want him to be hurt again.” She shook her head staring down at the table.


“So whatcha gonna do Jen? You gonna lock him away in some tower never letting him live his life? He won’t get hurt but would he be happy?” Deb didn’t wait for an answer. “You have to trust him Jen. He is a smart kid. He is a mature kid.”


“He’s strong. He will survive this. Mark my words.” Vic finished. Jen wasn’t sure why but she believed the older man. Maybe it was because of all that he had survived or maybe she just wanted to believe it so badly she would have clung to any hope. He just seemed so sure of Justin. She felt ashamed that she had doubted him in the first place.


**************************


“Hey.” It was late again. Brian sat up rubbing his eyes trying to focus on the clock.


“Justin?” He asked clearing his throat. “Are you ok?”


“Yeah I’m great can’t you hear it in my voice.” All that Brian could hear was a slightly slurred speech pattern and a bit more volume than was necessary.


“What did you drink and how much?” He asked trying not to sound preachy.


“I don’t know and I don’t know.” He replied laughing at his own ignorance. He honestly couldn’t remember.


“Where are you? Where’s Stephen?” He was starting to be concerned.


“I’m at home and he’s asleep.” Brian knew that Justin would never get drunk when he was alone with Stephen but now suddenly he was. He realized that the other man must really be hurting to act so out of character.


“What happened?” He asked his mind racing for solutions to problems he didn’t yet know existed.


“Just some more of that unfair life shit that’s all. Let’s not talk about that. I didn’t call about that. I called to thank you for being my friend. Last week sucked even more than this week and well thanks for helping me get through it.” He blurted it out quickly. Justin knew if he didn’t say it quickly, he’d never get through it without breaking down. He’d already cried too much. He had to be strong.


“That’s what friends are for.” Brian replied still wondering what had happened.


“Is that what we are now?” Justin asked his voice soft.


“Of course, Justin you twat. I will always be your friend.” Brian answered. Justin was quiet for a long moment.


“How was your day?” He asked his tone conversational again.


“It was long but good. Why don’t I call you tomorrow evening and I can tell you all about it.” He hated to get off the phone but he couldn’t really do anything from the Pitts and it was after three. He had an early meeting with Vance in the morning and needed to be sharp.


“Oh no that’s ok. I had to call tonight because I won’t have a phone tomorrow.” That caused Brian’s concern to spike.


“What do you mean?” He asked moving now to the edge of the bed.


“Well I’m changing carriers so I won’t have a phone.” He explained sounding a bit more sleepy now.


“What carrier are you going to?” He asked feeling relieved it was something so simple.


“I don’t know yet. I have to decide I guess.” Brian thought that was odd. He must just be confused. Alcohol blurs reason and reality. That’s the one sure bonus of drinking. “I have to go. Sorry I called so late I just needed to tell you thanks and all. Later.” Brian never even got the chance to respond before the line went dead.


“Justin? Justin?” He called into the phone. The line stayed silent. He could call him back, but knew that wouldn’t really get him anywhere. He would have to wait until the morning when the man sobered up some. He would call then and find out what the problem was.


He lay back down his mind and heart racing. He thought about Justin all alone in New York surrounded by his old life, drinking late into the night. It wasn’t like Sunshine to be so melancholy. Rising he made his way over to his computer. He knew there would be no more sleep tonight. He might as well get his presentation in peak shape. Something had to look good tomorrow morning in that meeting and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be him.


**************************


“So there is nothing that can be done?” Lindsay was outraged. It made no sense. It was cruel and unfair. How could anyone be so unfeeling?


“No nothing now. Ethan apparently hasn’t been paying the rent for the last two months. According to the lease agreement Justin has to pay the past two months with a 25 % late penalty on each payment.” Melanie sighed. Justin had called her and then faxed his lease. She had gone over it and learned that the landlord was within his rights to evict Justin and Stephen immediately. He could also keep all of their possessions unless Justin paid at the very least the penalty. It was only after she had contacted Justin to give him the bad news that she had learned that Ethan had also failed to make a will. Justin had one but not Ethan. Ethan had never thought it necessary and then once Stephen was born had always meant to but never found the time to get to an attorney and get it done. Now Justin and Stephen were left behind penniless and homeless.


“How much does he need? Do we have it?” Lindsay asked.


“2800 plus 1400 in penalties.” Melanie sighed. “We just can’t do it right now. I would if we could but we can’t Lindz.”


“What is he going to do?” Lindsay asked coming back to kneel in front of Melanie. She just shook her head.


“I have no idea. He was going to sublet and use the deposit from the guy to help pay off some things but now that the landlord has cancelled the lease he has five days to settle his penalty or forfeit his possessions.” She sighed. She was so relieved to know that she and Lindsay had taken care of each other in case something happened.


“Forfeit his possessions. You mean he’ll have to leave everything behind? Hasn’t he lost enough?” Lindsay had tears in her eyes. Lindsay had this vision of Justin walking on a tightrope without a safety net. That’s what his life had been like but he’d never known that net wasn’t there until now when he was falling.


“We have to tell someone.” Lindsay announced rising to her feet.


“We can’t. I shouldn’t have even told you. If you hadn’t overheard my conversation with him I wouldn’t have.” Melanie explained. “This is his life Lindsay. He can make his own choices. He isn’t 17 anymore.” She stood trying to calm her partner.


“I know that. He is 22 and the father of a two year old. No, that’s not right, Stephen isn’t even two yet. He is reeling from the loss of the love of his life while watching the world take everything else from him. Mel we have to help him. We have to.” She demanded.


“You don’t really think Ethan was the love of his life do you?” Melanie asked cupping the blond woman’s face. Lindsay smiled slightly and shook her head.


“No. Ethan wasn’t the love of his life that would be—“ Her thought was interrupted by a knock at the door.


“Are you expecting someone?” Melanie asked as Lindsay pulled free to answer it.


“No, not that I remember.” She smiled. She opened the door to find Brian standing holding what had to be a gift for their son. It was a new soccer ball.


“Guess who just landed to Spalding account?” Brian asked twirling the ball on his finger.


“Hm…I can’t imagine.” Lindsay replied sarcastically as he ushered him into their home.


Brian looked up into her face for the first time and noticed the red eyes and nose.


“What’s wrong?” He asked. As he stepped into the living room he saw Melanie giving Lindsay her best ‘keep your mouth shut’ look. Lindsay paused and took a deep breath.


“Well…” Lindsay began.


“Don’t Lindz. I could be disbarred.” Melanie pleaded. Now this had Brian’s full attention. What could Lindsay know that Melanie wanted to keep a secret? It was something big enough to ruin her career. He glanced from one to the other. Lindsay fixed her gaze on Melanie and then obviously conceded offering Brian a chair. He decided to wait until the attorney was out of the room to get the answer, so he allowed it to drop.


“I got a weird call from Justin last night.” He announced. This was the real reason he had decided to come over. He had tried all day to reach the man and had been unable to get through. Now he was rethinking all that had been said last night and wasn’t sure what to make of it.


“What did he say?” Lindsay leaned in giving Melanie and hopeful glance.


“Not much. He was drunk.” He stated.


“Where was Stephen?” Melanie asked.


“With him, but asleep.” Brian replied.


“That’s not like him. He would never have done that before—“ Melanie offered.


“Go ahead.” Lindsay interrupted. “What else did he say?”


“Just thanked me for helping him last week and then said he had had another shitty week.” Brian ran through the call once more as he relayed it to the women.


“What made it shitty?” Lindsay pressed.


“He didn’t say. He did say he had to call last night because he was changing phone services and wouldn’t have a phone today. His was being cut off until he picked a new provider.” Brian shook his head. “Have you ever heard of that ? I mean I have never heard of changing services and while the services are switching they cut off your phone. That isn’t right. Right?” He asked. He noted that Lindsay was giving Melanie another meaningful look. So, Brian realized, the big secret had to do with Justin. Justin was in trouble and Melanie was acting as his attorney. It made sense, but not enough sense. Brian needed answers.


“What?” Brian asked his patience completely evaporated.


“Go to him Brian. Go to him tonight.” Lindsay stated with complete surety.


“What? Why?” He asked growing more concerned.


“I can’t tell you.” Lindsay smiled glancing once at her partner before turning back to look at Brian. “Just trust me. He needs you.” Brian shook his head. He really wanted to know more than what Lindsay was telling him but knew that she would never do anything to willfully hurt him. If she said Justin needed him then he was sure that the man did.


He sat for a moment considering once more what Justin had said coupled with the silent conversation Melanie and Lindsay were having in front of him. He made up his mind with surprising ease. Rising to his feet he kissed Lindsay on the cheek.


“I’ve got to go pack.” He announced. “Be sure to give Sonny Boy his ball will ya?” He asked nodding in Melanie’s direction he showed himself the door.


*********************


“I understand sweetie. No of course not how could you ask such a thing? You are never imposing. Molly will be thrilled.” Jennifer smiled at Molly who was sitting at the breakfast table with a quizzical expression on her face.


“No really she will. I will see about getting a better bed for Stephen.” That brought Molly to her feet questions firing a mile a minute.


“Are they coming to live here? Is Stephen ok? Can he stay in my room? How long will they stay for? Can I talk to Justin? Why is he leaving New York?” Jennifer waved her daughter away indicating that she couldn’t hear what Justin was saying on the phone.


“Ok yes I will. Just let me know when your flight gets in and we will be there to pick you both up. I am really happy about this Justin. I just know it is the right thing for you. I’m glad you decided to come back.” She paused briefly listening as Molly shifted impatiently from one foot to the other.


“I love you darling. Take care of yourself sweet heart. Bye.” She hung up and sprung into her daughter’s surprised arms.


“They are coming back and will be living with us for a while. No, Stephen will stay in Justin’s room at least to start with. I have no idea how long they will be staying or what made Justin decide to come back. I am just so happy that he is.” She hugged Molly. Molly smiled up at her mother. It had been a long time since she had seen her mother this happy.


“I’m glad they are coming back too. I’ve missed Justin but don’t tell him.” She laughed.


“You tell him ok? He needs to know that we want him here. He is going through a rough time and will need us. Chances are you are going to get more than your share of babysitting. I promise to make it up to you somehow.” Jennifer said suddenly realizing all the child proofing she needed to get done.


“You don’t have to make it up to me. I love Stephen. Is that what Justin looked like when he was a baby?” Molly asked sitting back down to her cereal.


“Exactly.” Jennifer smiled. “And thank you for being so mature about this. We need to get this place ready for them. We need to check cabinets and outlets. Gosh I can’t remember all the things I need to check.” Jennifer ran her hand through her hair glancing around her kitchen.


“I’ll look on the internet. I’m sure there is a check list or something don’t you think?” Molly replied watching her Mother turn to her with gratitude in her eyes.


“What would I do without you?” She asked. Molly’s expression filled with sadness for a moment. “What it is darling?” Jen asked kneeling down beside her daughter.


“That’s what Justin was saying to Stephen over and over again the other night when he was rocking him to sleep.” Without warning the young girl burst into tears and fell into her mother’s waiting arms.


**************************


It was late. Justin had no idea what time it was and still there was so much left to do. He knew it was still before midnight but Stephen had been in bed for hours. He was guessing it was around 11 o’clock not that it mattered. He was merely trying to focus on something besides his task at hand. He pulled out another canvas and placed a price sticker on it. A whole year’s work and maybe if he got lucky he’d get a couple hundred bucks. He swallowed the lump he felt in his throat. He had decided to keep very little. This was not the time to be sentimental. He had a child to support. He had set aside Ethan’s violin and music stand, a scarf and a pair of gloves he had used when playing on the street corners in Pittsburg, a goofy glass that he insisted drinking orange juice out of, and his wedding band. Justin glanced down at his own ring. Ethan hadn’t worn his in months. He had complained that it interfered with his playing.


Looking around the apartment he was amazed how little they had. It had seemed like so much but of course coming from the dump they had shared in the Pitts any place would seem like a palace. He tried to assess what he would get for their meager possessions. If he were lucky he would walk away with a couple thousand. But he could at least pay off the penalty and still have a few dollars to see he and Stephen through until he found a job. The thought of finding employment threatened to overtake him. He took a deep breath. “Mark the stuff, sell the stuff, pack what’s left, move home, then find a job.” He recited it to remind himself that he would get through it one item at a time.


A knock on his door brought him up short. He quirked up an eyebrow. No one ever came by this late. He couldn’t imagine who it could be. He walked over and checked the pep hole. He smiled as he opened the door.


“You look lost.” He stated deadpan to an exhausted looking Brian Kinney.


“Yeah I am. I was looking for a nice hotel room. Know where I can find one?” He walked in past the smaller man.


“Maybe.” Justin commented closing the door behind him. “What brings you to the Big Apple?” He asked as he watched Brian assessing his situation.


“You.” He replied absently still looking around the disassembled apartment.


“Me?” He asked. “Good thing you came today. I will be leaving day after tomorrow.” He returned to his place on the floor where the pile of paintings and sketches were stacked.


“Where you headed?” He asked joining him on the floor.


“Back to the Pitts.” He didn’t look up just marked another canvas and set it aside.


“Having a starving artist sale?” Brian joked but stopped when he saw the hurt look in Justin’s eyes. “Geez Justin I didn’t mean anything.” The look faded some but the man’s mouth was now set in a defensive line.


“Now that Ethan’s dead, it seems that I’m not worth very much” He stated matter-of-factly. “I’m hoping to get enough to fly home but I may have to take the bus.” He continued on with his task.


“I don’t understand.” Brian thought back to the conversation at the munchers’ house. Melanie had mentioned that they couldn’t tell him what was going on because she would be disbarred.


“Well it seems that Ethan forgot to pay the rent for a couple of months. I made out the checks but he just tore them up. The money’s out of our account but no checks have cleared. So I owe the landlord two months rent with a penalty. I was planning on subletting but they terminated the lease before I could set it up, so unless I can come up with the funds to pay the penalty I have to walk away with just my son and the shirts on our backs.” He looked up at Brian for a moment allowing the emptiness in his eyes to fully register. “I have a son to support but have no job, no home, no money, no car, no nothing. Oh and Ethan had no will.” He sighed. He lifted a painting that Brian remembered. It had been in his first show at PIFA. He remembered the sense of pride he had felt seeing Justin’s work knowing what he had overcome to create it.


“Not that one Justin. Don’t sell that one.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.


Justin stared down at the canvas. “It’s just a painting. I can make another one. I can’t be sentimental. I don’t have that luxury Brian.” He marked the canvas and moved on.


“What time is the sale?” Brian asked hoping he could somehow fix this before Justin gave all of his work away for pennies on the dollar.


“Tomorrow at 8 a.m.” Justin studied him for a moment as if reading his mind. “Don’t do it. “ Brian looked up and met the determined look in Justin’s eyes.


“Do what?” He asked innocently.


“Swoop in and save me. I don’t want you to. I don’t need for you to. I can do this. I am prepared to do this. I am doing this for Stephen. You’d be amazed how much easier it is to let all of this go when I know it is for him.”


“I want to help you.” He said softly reaching out, touching Justin’s cheek tenderly. Justin leaned into his touch and smiled a bit brighter this time.


“You are helping me. Being here is helping me. Knowing I don’t have to face tomorrow alone, is an incredible help.” Justin paused for a second furrowing his brow. “ How did you know?” He asked turning back to the canvases. Brian picked up a marker and began making the labels as he had watched Justin do so for the last little bit.


“Two things really, first your call.” He heard Justin groan as he remembered his drunken late night call.


“Sorry I had way too much and was feeling pretty overwhelmed. I needed to hear your voice, but I meant what I said. I really do appreciate all that you did for me.” Brian nodded and then continued.


“I also went by the munchers. They couldn’t tell me what had happened since I am guessing Melanie is your attorney but they were upset enough for me to know you needed me.” He handed the sticker to Justin.


“So just like that you hopped on a plane and came to New York to help me?” He asked his brows knit together.


“It isn’t the first time I’ve raced to New York for your sake. It’s just the first time I flew to do it.” He smiled. They both shared a moment of individual memory then turned back to their work.


“How is Stephen?” He asked rising to his feet to go look in on him.


“Only one more day of that medicine. I will be so glad. I hate that pink stuff. He does too it gets everywhere.” Justin said absently as he heard Brian opening the door to his bedroom and look in on the boy sleeping in his crib.


“How are you going to move all of this stuff?” He asked coming back to sit down.


“Can’t. I’m selling it. Everything goes. Big Big BIG SALE.” Justin barked like a carnival pro. Brian tried to smile but found he couldn’t.


“What about Stephen’s bed and his things?” He asked sadly.


“Well some I am shipping. Some of his clothing and toys he really likes, but most of it I will just have to buy when I get to the Pitts. It is cheaper than shipping them. I’m keeping all the photo albums of course and I have a few home movies of Stephen, Ethan and I, but that is about it.” Brian smiled tightly. His heart ached to see all that Justin was having to give away. He truly had lost everything. He knew the man well enough to know he was no doubt keeping something of Ethan’s for Stephen’s sake. He was amazed at his strength as he laid aside his own desires to protect his son.


“Well pick the one you want the most.” Brian stated his voice making it clear that he was not going to take no for an answer. Justin raised an eyebrow and regarded him quizzically. “I’m doing my Christmas shopping early this year.” Justin smiled and shook his head. Sorting through the work that was still untouched in the stack he pulled out a beautiful portrait of two hands intertwined. They were exquisite in that he had captures something tender and protective in each hand as it held to the other. Brian was speechless for a moment.


“See why he worried?” Justin asked standing up and making his way into the kitchen. It wasn’t until then that Justin’s words registered with him. Brian recognized that the hands were his and Justin’s. He felt his heart freeze for a moment as he saw what it was that they had shared captured so completely in this one image. He didn’t notice Justin’s return. He handed Brian a beer. He finally took it then saw Justin raise his can in a toast.


“To a new start.” Justin’s voice was soft.


Brian lifted his can knowing that Justin was talking about his life. Brian was happy to drink to that but chose to add his own hopes for what that toast might mean.


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