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Endings and Beginnings - Book 2
Chapter 3
“You ready to leave?” Brian asked coming up behind Justin wrapping his arms around the other man’s waist. He could feel Justin’s fatigue.
“I’ll make the final deposit tomorrow. “ Ted announced. “We should have a total as soon as I do that.”
“All the t-shirts sold.” Emmett announced proudly.
“We sold quite a few more tickets and also just had some cash donations walk in.” Ben added.
“Thank you all for this night. It feels really inadequate but I don’t know what else to say.” Justin spoke softly all eyes on him.
“Well I think both of the Taylor men need to head to bed.” Jennifer announced from the chair she was sitting in. Stephen was sound asleep in her arms. She stared down lovingly at her grandson and then up into her son’s blue eyes. Justin smiled wearily at her and nodded.
Brian made his way over and took the sleeping child from her arms. He fussed for a moment before settling down, laying his head in the crook on Brian’s neck. Justin felt the urge to draw that moment. Brian with his eyes closed leaning his head comfortingly against his son’s as he slept securely in the man’s arms. It was touching and beautiful. Justin suddenly realized that this was the first time he had felt like drawing in months. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d just spontaneously grabbed his pad and furious attack it in an attempt to catch a moment before it was lost. He wondered if this was good sign. He’d missed feeling connected to the rest of the world through his art. Interesting that it would be Brian that would be his first inspiration, he couldn’t help but think about the countless number of sketch pads he had stored somewhere fill only with images of the man.
“I know that look and I’m too tired to stand like this for an hour so head out.” Justin laughed amazed that Brian was so good at reading him. Ethan had never been able to do that. Justin felt a tug of regret but pushed it away. Today was a good day. He was starting to learn to enjoy them while he had them.
“Ok. Ok.” He grabbed up Stephen’s bag. “Thanks again guys.” Everyone exchanged their hugs and kisses as the two men left the room.
“They’re meeting with Carol Myers tomorrow at our house.” Melanie noted to no one in particular.
“What does she think?” Ben asked. Melanie and Lindsay exchanged worried looks causing the others to become very quiet waiting for their reply.
“It’s going to be tough. She doesn’t think he’ll win.” Melanie’s words cut through everyone’s heart especially Jennifer’s.
“Oh no.” She moaned. “It will kill him. It will.” She met each of their gazes.
“Well shit everyone thought Chris Hobbs would go to jail too. The justice system’s a fickle bitch.” Deb announced. Everyone had to smile at her metaphor.
“You’re right.” Lindsay added. “Justin is a good father. Anyone who takes one look at Stephen can tell that. That woman signed her rights away. Any judge would see that she doesn’t deserve Stephen.” They all nodded.
“I think he has a chance as long as he doesn’t get a homophobic judge.” Melanie offered.
“When will we know?” Jennifer asked.
“Soon.” Melanie said as she put on her jacket. “Very soon.”
*****************************
Justin dropped Stephen off at Deb’s before heading over to Melanie and Lindsay’s house. When he got there he could see that Brian and Carol were already there. He knocked and heard Lindsay shout for him to come in. Everyone was sitting around the living room making small talk.
“Am I late?” He asked nervously looking from Brian to Lindsay then over to Carol.
“No, right on time.” Melanie announced as she brought in cups of coffee and cookies.
“I’m running a bit short on time today so if you don’t mind I would like to just jump right in.” Carol looked from Justin to Brian. They nodded. Justin moved to sit next to Brian on the couch. He reached for Brian’s hand. Brian squeezed his hand reassuringly. Carol made note of the action but said nothing.
“Now as I told Justin earlier this week Ms. Gold has employed Wilbur Davis to handle her case. He is a narrow minded son-of-a-bitch who dearly hates homosexuals. I dare say he’d rather eat shit then represent one.” Justin looked to Brian then back to Carol.
“Do you think she knew that?” He asked confused by Rachel’s actions. “I mean Ethan was gay.”
“I don’t think she went looking for a homophobe but someone must have sent her to him. His reputation is fairly notorious in that part of the world so there is a reason she was referred to him. He’s going to come after you with everything he can. That’s why he already has his snoops digging into your past. Now I did a little digging myself. Brian your reputation is going to be damaging. It shouldn’t have any bearing but it will.” Brian winced at her words. He hadn’t expected anything different but had hoped that he wouldn’t really have a bearing on Justin’s chances.
“I don’t see why I matter in any of this.” He sounded angry. Justin stiffened slightly.
“What are your plans? You obviously care for Justin, have been sexually involved with him before, friends or lovers you will no doubt be a part of Justin’s life and therefore an influence on his son. Where do you see things going with you and Justin? ” Carol asked not one to pussy foot around.
“What do you mean?” Brian shifted uncomfortably.
“Well I’ll come back to that.” Carol turned back to her notes then over to Justin. “You had a sexual encounter with one Chris Hobbs in an equipment shed while you were a student at St. James—“
“Yeah I’m sure Rachel had a few sexual encounters in high school as well. What the fuck difference does it make?” Brian began. Carol sighed exasperated but continued.
“It shouldn’t make any different but it will. Justin’s character will be scrutinized a great deal more closely than Rachel Gold’s. So if I may continue, this same Chris Hobbs retaliated months later when he attacked you in a parking garage?” Justin swallowed hard and then nodded. “Was he gay?” Justin shook his head.
“I don’t know for sure. I mean he didn’t protest or tell me to stop but after that incident he targeted me until he finally tried to kill me.” His voice sounded weak towards the end.
“Tell me about that year. Why were you with Brian?” She asked.
“I loved him.” He said simply bringing a smile to Brian’s lips. He quickly wiped it away before Melanie or Lindsay could notice.
“How old were you?” She asked.
“17.” He admitted.
“You were 17 and you were involved with a 30 year old man? Were you living at home?”
“Twenty-nine. I was 29.” Brian corrected. Justin smirked while Carol ignored his outburst.
“Yes and no. My father made life miserable for me. He rejected my lifestyle. Brian let me stay with him for a little while but I wound up living with Debbie Novotny.” Carol nodded. “How long did you live with Brian?”
“That year it was only for a few weeks. Not long really. After the bashing I lived with him for almost a year.” Justin glanced over tightening his grip on Brian’s hand.
“Why did you leave that time?” Carol asked flipping the page on her note pad.
“I was with Ethan.” He hated reliving all of this in front of Brian. He lowered his gaze before he answered.
“When you say you were with him do you mean you were having sex with him?” Carol’s tone made it sound so terrible. Justin was starting to believe maybe he wasn’t fit to be Stephen’s parent.
“Yes.” His voice was very quiet. Brian wanted to give him some comfort but the pain of those days was still too tangible.
“Tell me about Kip Thomas.” Carol stared at Brian. Brian’s eyes shot up at the woman. He missed how Justin’s body had also stiffened beside him.
“He’s a guy who tried to sue me for sexual harassment. He didn’t have a case so he dropped it and disappeared.” He stated nonchalantly. “Why?”
“They’ve been talking to him.” Carol stated. She hadn’t noticed Justin’s reaction. He was sitting very still his mind reeling. He wondered if he should confess now or if perhaps Kip wouldn’t remember who he was. With Stephen’s custody on the line Justin knew what he had to do.
Carol looked over and noted Justin’s worried expression.
“Tell me what you know Justin? Better I find out here in this room than in front of the judge.” She sighed and waited patiently.
“I know why he dropped the suit.” Every eye in the room was suddenly riveted on him. He turned to Brian first, “I never wanted you to know. I just didn’t want him to hurt you and I thought I could protect you for a change.” Brian looked at him in confusion. Justin turned back to Carol, “I knew he was going to sue Brian and that Brian hadn’t harassed him, so I convinced him to drop the suit.” He hoped that she would accept that but knew that she wouldn’t. He would have to tell the whole embarrassing story.
“You must be one persuasive boy. From the date on the case you must have still been?” She waited.
“17.” Justin stated softly.
“Now why would a man in his mid twenties give a shit what a 17 year old boy had to say?” She asked knowing this was going to be damaging.
“I.” Justin began then turned once looking pleadingly at Brian before continuing, “Most men think 18 is the age of consent even though it is really 16, so I let Kip take me home and then while he was –“
“Holy shit!” Brian leapt from the couch and headed for the kitchen. Justin was on his feet right behind him.
“Brian, please don’t be angry. I was just trying to help.” He argued.
“Do you have any idea what he could have done to you?” Brian yelled. He wanted to shake Justin and hug him all at the same time. To think of the risk he had taken and never said a word when the suit had been dropped. He had saved him but at what price?
“You had sex with this man?” Carol asked still seating in the living room letting the drama unfold without her.
“Well,” Justin paused wishing he could disappear instead of answering.” Yes, oral sex.” Justin muttered. “We didn’t get very far. He started on me and I mentioned that I had to get home that I still lived with my folks. Then I told him I was 17. He got a little freaked. I told him my dad had the last guy I was with thrown in jail for 10 years. He seemed really nervous after that. I felt like it was the right time so I made a deal with him.”
“A deal?” Carol asked her eyebrows raised waiting.
“I wouldn’t I tell my dad about him if he—“
“Dropped the suit.” Melanie finished. The room was silent for a moment. Lindsay looked to Brian hoping that instead of being angry he would see the sacrifice that Justin had been willing to make for him even though they had only known each other a short period of time. No one else had lifted a finger for him but Justin had risked everything that he had.
Brian walked into the kitchen. When he returned he had a glass of water. He sipped it staring intently at Justin. Justin felt like he was wilting under Brian’s gaze. Finally Brian placed his glass on the table walked over and took Justin into his arms.
“Thank you.” He said holding him tightly to him. “I don’t know whether to shake you or kiss you.” He kissed the top of his head letting the weight of the revelation sink into him. No one had ever believed in him the way Justin had. “I would never have asked—“
“I know.” Justin whispered back. “That’s why I never told you. I never wanted you to know.” Carol watched them. There was a deep connection between these two. Watching Kinney hold Justin that way threw everything that she had heard about the man out the window. He didn’t look like a predator always stalking for his next prey. She shook her hand.
“It’s going to hurt us Justin. It will be hard to defend. You sold yourself.”
“I didn’t take any money.” Justin protested.
“No but you used your body in exchange for a favor. There are many different kinds of currency. Davis will paint you out to be some sort of hustler.” Justin’s mouth fell open and he felt his cheeks burn.
“Move on.” Brian stated firmly moving Justin back to the couch. He could feel the man trembling beneath his touch. Carol wanted to remind the man that this was her interview but after receiving another glare she chose to move on.
“What about your time with Ethan? Were you ever unfaithful?” She asked moving on as she shifted through her notes.
“No but he was.” Justin said angrily feeling persecuted.
“He isn’t on trial though, his infidelities will probably throw your relationship together into question. “
“Were you unfaithful to Ethan?” She asked again.
“No.” She looked up.
“Not physically or emotionally?” She asked again.
“What are you asking?”
“Ever think about Brian when Ethan was touching you?” She asked looking from him to Brian and back. Justin looked down to the floor.
“Yes.” He said softly.
“Once? Twice? More? Less?” Carol asked.
“Why are you doing this?” He asked.
“Because they are going to. They are going to paint you out to be some lying, cheating, using sack of shit who shouldn’t get to keep his son. Did Ethan know you were thinking of Brian?” She asked innocently.
Justin looked at her for a long moment. “How would he?” He asked.
“Did you ever call out Brian’s name?” She asked.
The pause was longer this time. Justin could feel Brian’s eyes riveted on him. He felt like such a shit. He hated this. He hated all of the intimate details of his life thrown out for all to see. These were private moments of personal struggle and failure. He was more than aware of his own weaknesses. Surely his weren’t so different from anyone else’s.
“Justin?” She asked again.
“Yes.” Brian couldn’t help but take great pleasure in this revelation.
She nodded. “So you’re in bed with Ethan and suddenly you yell out “Brian”. What was Ethan’s reaction?”
“What do you think? He was pissed. He ranted and raved then left for a while.”
“What did he do when he left?”
“Usually went to the rehearsal hall or called his—“ Carol nodded.
“It’s what I would do. He called his sister.” She stated. Justin nodded.
“Shit.” He sighed.
The afternoon carried on in a similar fashion as Brian’s history was paraded in front of the lawyer and then more of Justin’s. When he learned that his father was being considered by Davis for testimony he felt his heart sink. He wasn’t surprised just disappointed.
“Okay guys just a few more questions. I know you had an outburst with Ms. Gold on the telephone. She accused you of what?” She looked at Justin.
“She accused us of having sex.” Justin stated.
“This was how many weeks after Ethan’s death?” Carol asked taking notes as she had all afternoon.
“A little less than two.” Justin admitted.
“Then what happened?” Carol asked.
“I got upset that she would think so little of me and she threatened to take Stephen if I didn’t keep away from Brian. “
“Then I called her back and ate her ass out, and not in a good life affirming way. That’s when she told us to get a lawyer.” Brian finished.
“Ok just for the record.” She smiled. “You two aren’t sexually involved now right?” She asked coming right to the point. Justin and Brian exchanged a look that made her hair stand up on her neck.
“Oh shit.” Melanie said standing up and pacing the room.
“We haven’t had sex.” Justin stated. “We’ve slept together a couple of times but never had sex.” He stated again. Carol considered his words.
“When you were sleeping together, were you clothed?” She asked.
“Most of the time I was.” Justin admitted.
“Most of the time?” She asked realizing that she was beginning to have a sinking feeling about this case.
“A couple of nights ago Brian came over and we slept together. We just held each other.” Justin was quick to defend. “I just wanted to feel close to him.”
“Where was Stephen?” She asked.
“In his crib.” Justin replied refusing to give anything away.
“Where is his crib?” She asked refusing to be put off.
“In my room at my Mother’s house.” He admitted.
“So you were lying naked with your ex-lover a few feet from your infant son?” She concluded.
Justin merely nodded. She tried to hide her exasperation.
“Any other time?” The men once again exchanged a look that she didn’t like. “Just tell me.” She demanded.
“In a hotel in New York, I went up to see Ethan’s grave and-“
“And Brian and you ended up in bed?” Carol asked incredulously. Brian felt himself seething.
“Listen—“ He started but she silenced him with a glare.
“I’m not speaking to you at the moment Mr. Kinney so please allow me to continue.” Her eyes turned back to Justin.
“Do I have it right Justin?” Her voice was softer as she watched him struggle with his explanation.
“My dad had offered to help me with funds so I could keep my son, but I had to choose. I had to choose and I just wanted to be with Brian one last time. Then I was going to walk away from it. I was going to walk away from everything to save Stephen!” He argued passionately. He knew it sounded horrible. It was horrible. His partner hadn’t been gone for even a month and he was throwing himself at Brian.
Carol knew that explanation would float like a rock in front of a judge. Feeling her grasp on victory sliding further she turned to question to brunet who was in a slow boil next to the blonde.
“Back to your plans, Brian, what are they for you and Justin? Are you planning on picking up where you left off?” She asked wearily. She already knew the answer to that. Even if this man was willing to admit it yet, he wanted the blonde back anyway he could have him.
“None of your fucking business.” Brian yelled. He had had enough of this shit. They had made mistakes but so had Rachel Gold. She wasn’t a saint. Ethan had fucked around on Justin. Why wasn’t that an issue? Justin had stayed with that lying sack of shit for Stephen’s sake. Why didn’t that matter?
“It is MY business because it is MY ass on the line.” She spat to clarify.
“Stupid me! I thought it was Stephen’s custody on the line.” Brian returned.
“My job is to help Justin keep his son. In order to do that I have to prove that he is s stable person that surrounds himself with other stable individuals. You are a loose canon. You have nothing to lose so you can rant and rave. You can eat Rachel Gold’s ass out but the stakes are high for Mr. Taylor. He could very well lose.” She yelled back at him.
“His son.” Lindsay chimed in trying to convince the woman to back off. She didn’t care for Carol. She understood why she and Melanie were friends but she had always found the woman cold and uncaring. Carol sighed feeling incredibly tired.
“Did you have sex then?” She asked.
“No, I tried. Brian stopped me.” Justin confessed. Carol met Brian’s gaze. She felt perhaps she would never get an accurate grip on who this man was. It was obvious that he cared deeply for Justin, but he was definitely a liability in the custody suit.
“When did this night in the hotel happen?” She asked putting the lid on her pen afraid to hear the response.
“Two weeks after Ethan was killed.” Justin softly said feeling an overwhelming wave of guilt rush over him. She smirked and looked to Melanie. Nodding solemnly she rose and began gathering her items. She was done. It was over and it hadn’t even begun. She would do her best but this was a loser. Justin was young, gay and involved with a man of questionable morality. Unless they got a very liberal judge Davis would nail Justin to the cross, take his son and that would be that.
Justin looked to Melanie panic stricken. “So what is going to happen now?” He asked.
“Now I am going to go try to put a good spin on all the shit they are going to hurl at us. Once the Ms Gold files an official complaint, then a summons will be issued. Call me when you receive your summons. We will file our response and the wheels of justice will begin spinning.”
“What are his chances?” Brian asked knowing that their revelations had lowered her original estimation.
Carol looked up for the first time. She held Justin’s gaze trying to find the strength to be honest with the young man. “I suggest we start looking for grounds to appeal.” He felt like a knife had been thrust into his gut. He couldn’t breath. He turned to Brian and buried his head into the other man’s chest. He felt an overwhelming need to take his son and run. He felt his mind seek out any way of escaping with his child. Surely they could disappear somewhere never to be found.
“What am I going to do?” He whispered it over and over as Brian did his best to comfort a man who was inconsolable.
