Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Chapter Fifteen




“Brian, wake up.” Justin hissed and shook his husband’s arm. He looked around to make sure the other military people weren’t listening. But they all seemed to be quite calm sitting in the large cabin of the airplane.

“What?” Brian hadn’t really been sleeping but he’d been hoping that Justin would have taken the hint and fallen asleep himself. Apparently his plan hadn’t worked.

“We got on the wrong plane. I told you these military flights aren’t marked very well. I think we’re over the Atlantic.”

Brian pretended to look out the window. “Hmmm, you could be right. Well snuggle close pretty boy; it’s a long time till we land.” He put his arm around Justin and tried to move him close. Justin was unresisting though stiff.

“Brian” he hissed again. “Do something”

“I could go tell the pilot to turn around, but somehow I don’t think he’ll listen to me.”

“I’m never going to see my mother for Christmas at this rate.” Justin grumbled. “I should have known it was too good to be true.”

Brian relented and kissed his husbands forehead. “Smile for me Justin, I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh gawd Brian, not a surprise?” Justin groaned dramatically. Brian’s surprises were legendary in the Taylor-Kinney household for rarely turning out to be anything but disasters.

“Come on, the last one wasn’t so bad.” Brian smirked tongue in cheek.

“Daphne didn’t talk to me for a week.”

“Well this is better.”

“What” Justin couldn’t imagine. He’d given up thinking he could out smart Brian when it came to his little ‘arranged surprises.”

“This time it involves your mother.”

“Brian tell me you didn’t do anything to my mother. I just found her.”

“Pretty boy, you wound me deeply.” Brian put his hand over his heart and sighed dramatically.

“What did you do?

“I invited Jennifer and the gang to meet us in Baja so that we could celebrate Christmas. I thought that you and I had such a great Christmas there our first time. It would be perfect for you to get to know your mom and your mom to get to know me and the rest of the family.”

“Brian, Harry is there.” Justin all but shrieked. Heads turned to look at the two men and Justin flushed with embarrassment. “I can’t see Harry. He doesn’t know about me. Mom can’t see him, she doesn’t know about him.”

“You haven’t told your mom that Harry is around?” Brian suspected that his husband had neglected that part, which was part of this whole escapade.

“No” Justin said miserably. “She’s going to hate me now. Harry is going to hate me.”

“Why would your parents hate you? Harry already loves you like a son. And you told me your mother said she’s always loved you.”

“Because I didn’t tell mom about Harry and I didn’t tell Harry about mom and me.” Justin’s eyes filled with tears. Everything was too much, too soon.

Brian stroked Justin’s hair and then turned his husband’s face to his. “Justin, you’re a big boy, damn near thirty. You have made a great life for yourself. You’ve married a wonderful guy.” Justin rolled his eyes. “You’ve found yourself your very own little family, each of them irritating in their own special way, just like real life. So having your mother meet your father is not really a big deal. They’ll eventually love you for it. Mysterious Marilyn is probably taking credit at this moment for bringing you all together.”

“Do you think my mom will like the gang?” Justin asked.

“Well, I’m sure they’ll give her lots of reason to continue living in Spain.” Brian laughed. “Ouch” Justin had punched him in his arm.

“What about Harry; do you think he’ll hate me?”

“Na, he loves you and your cute little bubble butt.” Brian chuckled.

“Brian, I’m scared. But I’m glad you told me about the surprise. I would have killed you if I’d found out all at once. This way I have time to throw up and stuff.”

“You aren’t going to throw up. You’re my brave boy. I’ll protect you forever from the wrath of the family and anyone else who dares to bother you.”

“Did I tell you how much I love you?”

“I can’t hear it often enough Justin. Not often enough.” Brian leaned over and let his lips show Justin just how he felt. He didn’t care that the plane was full of military personnel. “So am I forgiven? Is this a good surprise?” He asked still feeling the slight sting at Justin not trusting him enough. He figured he would get a little payback from Justin for the hell at Thanksgiving. If Justin felt like Brian was really hurting and worried that he didn’t do right, then maybe Justin would cater to his needs.

“Time will tell. I’ll get back to you on that.” Justin smiled against Brian’s lips.

“Smart ass.”

~~~***~~~***~~~***

Lindsey looked over at Daphne as they watched the scene before them. They had been the first ones to arrive after Emmett of course, and now they watched as the rest of the gang tried to figure out what was going on. “So you’re Sunshine’s mother? Well where the hell have you been for the past 29 years!?” Deb yelled at the lovely woman standing off to the side.

Harry had come into the room, took one look at Ms. Taylor and walked out. Daphne was almost positive that she had never seen anyone turn that white. She hoped he was alright, and that he would be back.

Once she had arrived, she had quickly figured out what was really going on. “Do you think that this is a good idea on Brian’s part,” she whispered into Lindsay’s ear. “I think that we may have a huge mess on our hands.”

“I’m sure Brian is doing what he thinks is best. What, I don’t know, but I’m sure in his mind it’s the right thing to do.” Lindsay stated as she looked out at the scene before them. Debbie was on the warpath, trying to figure out what was going on and why someone would just abandon their child. “I wish Deb would leave it all alone. I’m sure that there is a good enough reason behind all of this.”

“Like what? Leave Justin alone to suffer? Let him think that he had a family who didn’t give a shit about him?” Daphne asked. That was what was bothering her about the whole thing. She had seen how much his ‘parents’ had hurt him, how much it seemed like they hadn’t cared one bit if he was alive or dead. Now she finds out that they weren’t really his parents and now this lady shows up out of the blue, years later and wants to be a family. Daphne had to take a deep breath to calm her sudden anger at the woman before her. Lindsay was right, they didn’t know. “I can tell you this… I will find out what is going on. And if she tries to hurt Justin, she’s going to he hurting. Then I’m going after Brian. This was a stupid plan.”

Lindsay placed her hand lightly on Daphne’s arm. “I’m sure that Brian knows what he’s doing. The last thing he wants is to hurt Justin, he would rather die. He knows better than anyone what it’s like to have a family who wishes you weren’t born. He wants to protect Justin from having to go through that. Justin went through hell growing up… but he never had to face the reality of having a mother or father tell you they don’t want you. Justin didn’t have the words voiced. He thought it, I’m sure… but he never heard it. Let Brian handle this. I can tell you that if anyone hurts Justin… Brian will make them pay.”

“I know… I just wish Justin didn’t have to be stuck in the middle.” Daphne looked back over at Ms. Taylor. “And when Brian’s done with them… everyone else will have to wait in line cause whatever is left, is mine.”

“Somehow I don’t think anyone will get in your way. I’ll be right beside you.” She said with an evil smile.

~~~***~~~***~~~***

“Brian thanks for this.” Justin laid his head on Brian’s shoulder. They had stopped in Virginia to allow time for all of the family to get together. It had been Justin’s idea to be fresh when they arrived. And now they were in the rental car driving toward the Baja house from the last airport stop. “I think in the long run it’s good to get it all out in the open and over with. I’m not sure Christmas is the best time though.”

“Why not, it’s the time of goodwill and all that.” Brian rubbed Justin’s leg. “We’re almost there. Do you see any fireworks coming from the roof?”

“Nope, it looks peaceful.” Justin sat us straight. “You know we could always don the diving gear and disappear into our cave if it gets too rough.”

“I’ve already thought of that.” Brian smirked. “I’ll get it ready first thing.”

The whole house was in a turmoil when they arrived. Brian and Justin could hear the raised voices as they walked up the porch stairs. Hand in hand they walked in the door. “Merry Christmas” they called out.

Silence dropped a blanket over the room. All eyes turned toward the two men. “Mom, I see you’ve met the family. Sorry we couldn’t get here first to greet you, but I’m sure that everyone was polite and made you feel welcome.” Justin saw Debbie’s face flush. Justin walked over and gave is mother a kiss. “Mom, this is my husband, I believe you’ve already talked to him.”

“Hey Mom” Brian said with a smile as he bent and kissed her soft cheek.

“Brian, I can see that Justin was right. There is a lot of Irish in you.” her eyes twinkled as she spoke.

“Where’s Harry?” Justin asked as he looked around the room.

“I haven’t met anyone called Harry yet.” She said.

“I saw him go out back.” Emmett volunteered. He couldn’t stop smiling. Brian had been right, Justin did need this. “I’m going to go into the kitchen and check on lunch. Marilyn do you want to help me?” he asked.

“I’d love to.” Marilyn said. She got up with a swirl of skirts. As she passed Jennifer and the two men, she said. “Jennifer dear, don’t wait to long to go out onto the wharf. You really need to go there now.”

Jennifer Taylor looked puzzled. “Mom, why don’t you do as Marilyn said? I’ve found it best not to argue with her.”

“Alright Justin, Brian, you look after him now until I can come back.”

“Always have, always will.” Brian said as he wrapped his arm around his husband.

Jennifer had barely cleared the door when Debbie started. “Sunshine what is the meaning of all this. Why is that woman here? I mean she abandoned her own child to live a life of hell, perfect hell.” She spluttered.

“Deb, you don’t know the whole story. Leave it be until my mom tells you.” Justin’s voice was quiet. Everyone’s eyes had stayed watching Brian and Justin. They couldn’t help but see how comfortable the two men were with each other and with Jennifer Taylor. Lindsay and Daphne looked at each other and shrugged. Whatever was happening was a mystery to the two of them.

“Ben, I’m glad Michael was able to bring you along. You’ll love the beach here.” Justin smiled up at Ben. “Brian, I’m going to sit down and put my foot up. Why don’t you take Michael and Ben down to the beach and show them some of our favorite spots.”

“Are you sure?” Brian asked. His eyes asked more questions and Justin was able to answer them with a kiss that deepened immediately into one filled with promises of more to come. “I guess you’re sure.” Brian said softly when they parted. “Come on boys, let’s leave Justin to the tender mercies of the women. You two behave yourself with my husband, remember he’s still fragile.”


~~~***~~~***~~~***

Jennifer didn’t know what to expect when she walked out to the end of the wharf. It was a beautiful day and she enjoyed just having an excuse to be away from the noisy group that she’d left behind in the house.

Mysterious Marilyn was quite the character; she’d have to ask permission later to sketch her. These thoughts and others were running through her mind as she strolled onto the wooden planks that made up the wharf.

A lone man stood with his head bowed at the very end of the wooden pathway that cut into the ocean. He turned as her footsteps got nearer. His eyes, blue as when she’d last remembered them, as blue as Justin’s own, looked at her. “I thought you’d disappeared. I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.” He managed to say finally.

“Harry, but you’re dead.” Jennifer rushed into his arms. She pinched him. “You aren’t, you’re real.” She burst into tears. Instinctively his arms folded around her, cradling her and protecting her from the world.

“You thought I was dead?” Harry was finally able to say as he dried her tears with a tissue he’d had in his pocket.

“I saw the news report. You never answered my letters. Yes I thought you were dead. Though deep inside I knew you were alive. I thought it was because of our baby. I thought that’s why you weren’t dead to me. You lived through our baby.”

“We had a baby?” Harry’s eyes were wide.

“Yes, Justin is your son.”

“Justin, my Justin is my son?” Harry felt like he was on some kind of emotional roller coaster. One minute his life was that of a lonely widower and the next moment he’d found the woman he’d been in love with for thirty years and that he had a son.
“It’s funny, when I saw you walking through the door, my heart stopped. I knew it was you the moment I saw you, but I couldn’t believe my eyes. I had to get away.” A car horn blew. “I was waiting for that taxi to take me away from everything and you came out and found me.”

“Send the taxi back Harry. You can’t leave now after so long. You have to tell me where you’ve been.”

Harry took her by the shoulders. “Jenny girl, it’s been a long time. I don’t know if I can deal with all of this right now. I think I will take that taxi, but I’ll be back. Never fear, I’ll be back. I just need a bit of time to process everything. Will you wait for me?”

“I’ve waited for you all these years Harry, another few hours isn’t going to make much difference.” Jennifer smiled at his pet name for her. She stepped back to let him go, knowing that’s the only way he’d be able to return to her.

~~~***~~~***~~~***

Surprisingly things were going well; at least Brian was hoping it was. The walk to the beach with Michael and Ben had allowed him to clear up any misunderstandings they might have about the week. He had felt bad when he’d found out that Harry had disappeared. He hadn’t fully taking into Harry’s feelings in this whole mess, and knew he might have some apologies to give. He liked Harry and hoped that the man stuck around, even if it was only as a friend and not a father to Justin. Justin didn’t need to lose the friendship because of this.

Brian stepped outside to grab a quick cigarette needing a break from all the family cheer. This year was different for him; it was the first year that it was not him and Justin alone. This time it was family… something he had never had before. Something that he wasn’t sure he knew how to deal with. Just another thing he hadn’t taken into account when he had planed this for Justin. The only thing on his mind was Justin, nothing and no one else mattered. He hoped that Justin liked his surprise, and his lover would forgive him for taking a break or two… or a hundred.

“He seems to be well loved.” Came the soft, educated voice of Justin’s mother from behind Brian. “I wanted to thank-you for this. For allowing this to happen, for sharing him with me this Christmas.”

“I didn’t do it for you,” Brian told her honestly. “I knew that Justin wanted to spend it with you, even if he wouldn’t tell me. He deserves to get to know you, and you should get to know him. It’s the right thing to do.”

“I won’t hurt him. I just want to get to know him, and be whatever he wants me to be.” She told Brian. She knew that Brian was worried; she figured that out the moment she walked into the house and saw what was waiting for her. She could only hope that they could work together for Justin’s sake if nothing else. “I hope that we can be friends, Brian. I want you to know that I will do anything to keep Justin from harm.”

“Just like a mother,” Brian let out a small laugh as he shook his head. His whole conversation with Ben replaying in his mind. “You wouldn’t be a mother if you didn’t look out for your young. And I hope you’re right. I don’t want to see Justin hurt, never do. As long as you don’t, we’ll get along fine.”

Jennifer nodded as she moved beside Brian. “I’m glad that he has you to watch out for him.”

“It’s them in that room that make all the difference. I’m hardly around.” Brian told her as he watched Justin talk amongst their friends. Justin looked happy, and that was all Brian had hoped for, that’s what he had wanted to happen this week. “They are the ones you have to convince, not me. As long as I see Justin happy… we’re good. If being with you makes him happy then I’m all for it. I don’t care if you only talk about art, it makes him happy. Families are overrated if you ask me, but they are important to Justin. He needs that.”

“What about you? What do you need?” She asked honestly intrigued by the man who had captured her son’s heart.

“Justin’s all the family I need.” Brian stated as he left her alone on the patio to search for his husband. Let Ms. Taylor think about that, was his thinking. He wanted her to think about what he had said, what he believed. He hoped she didn’t let Justin down, cause Brian knew that it would destroy his lover. He didn’t need to give a warning; if she was as smart as he figured she was… she would be able to read between the lines.

~~~***~~~***~~~***

After Brian had left Justin to the devices of the women, leaving instructions that his husband needed to rest, Brian went in search of the other part of this whole mess. Stepping outside, he spotted a lone figure by the gazebo where he and Justin had been married two years ago.

“I’m sorry,” Brian stated as he came up beside Harry sitting down on a lone bench so he could look out at the ocean.

“For what? Giving me a son I never knew I had?” Harry asked looking over his shoulder at Brian, giving the man a small smile. “You have nothing to apologize for, Brian.”

Brian took a deep breath not sure what was going through the other man’s mind. “I don’t know, maybe I should apologize for not thinking about you when I got everyone here… for not giving you a heads up as to what you might expect. Maybe I should have given you some warning, let you decide. Instead I took the decision away from you and forced this all on you.”

Harry laughed and shook his head. “I missed it all, you know. I wish I had been able to see him grow up, give him a better life than what he had.”

“If you had done that, then I might not be here now. It’s our pasts that make us who we are. I don’t think Justin would want to change a thing, not if it meant he couldn’t have what he does now. And not only me.” Brian began. He waited until he had Harry’s full attention before he continued. He wanted the man to know where he was in their life. “You and Justin are more than any father/son could ever be. You’re friends, good friends. He can confide in you, talk to you, more than he can with almost anyone else. Would you want to take that away from him? Will that change now that you know the truth?”

“I hope to God it won’t. I knew that there was something about him, something that I had been missing. I just didn’t know what.” Harry tried to hold back the emotions that had been threatening to fall since the moment he had seen Jennifer Taylor again. He knew at that moment what it all meant, and how his life would change. “Do you think he hates me? Cause I wasn’t the father he needed me to be?”

Brian stood from his spot to stand beside the man who had entered their life over a year ago. “No, I don’t. I think he now has more than he could ever hope for, that he will cherish what you have, and you will be able to build on it. It’s what I hope anyway. He deserves it all. The question is, do you want to be a father to him?”

Harry stood there looking out at the ocean, trying to come up with that answer. Could he erase the pain of the last 29 years and erase the pain of what he had missed? Could he see himself trying to be a father to a son he never knew existed? He knew Justin, the artist, the husband, the man… but he didn’t know Justin the son. “I want to try, but it won’t be easy. Then there’s Jennifer to consider.”

“Fuck that. You two need to work together to make this the best thing for everyone. If you two never see each other again after this, then so what… as long as you don’t try to put Justin in the middle, everything will work out.” Brian told the older man.

“I thought I could just get away, you know. I tried to get in the taxi and leave. But about a mile down the road, I realized I couldn’t. I thought about Justin, and how crushed he would be…” Shaking his head and running a hand through his light blond hair. “I couldn’t do it. So I came out here…walked actually. I didn’t think anyone would miss me.”

“We all do, and we would if you had left. Justin cares about you, loves you. Do you know he wanted to tell you every time he talked to you. He’s scared, Harry. Scared to death about what you will think, what you will do. He doesn’t want to lose you, and frankly I don’t either.” Brian couldn’t believe that he had admitted that, but he was glad he did. He didn’t want to lose Harry, he had grown very fond on the man, and couldn’t see his life without him there. “Just take some time, but please don’t shut us out. We do care, even if we don’t always show it.”

“Thank-you, Brian. You’re a good man. I’m glad that my son found someone like you. I just wish I had been able to be there the day you married.” Harry stated as he looked out across the yard. “I bet it was beautiful. Maybe one day you’ll renew your vows so that his mother and I can be there?”

“Who knows, maybe one day? We’ll see how we all survive this.” Brian laughed shaking his head. The thought of going through that again scared Brian to no end. “I think once was enough… too damn scary for words.”

“Trust me, I can relate. Now go back inside and be with your husband. I’ll be in shortly.” Harry watched as Brian began to make his way down the small path to the house. “And Brian?” He called out to the man. “Thank-you… for everything.”

~~~***~~~***~~~***

Brian walked into the living room. Emmett was talking to Marilyn. Michael and Ben were outside walking along the beach holding hands. Brian could hear Debbie and Vic bickering in the kitchen as they prepared something for everyone to eat, with small asides from Lindsay and Daphne as they joined in the conversation. Justin was on the sofa, his bad foot stretched out comfortably on a cushion, his eyes were shut and he looked exhausted. Brian walked over and sat down beside him, pulling him close. “Hey pretty boy, you look beat.” He whispered. Rarely did Brian show this side of him when the others were close by.

“Hey Navy Boy” Justin murmured.

“Do you want to lie down before we eat?”

“No, I’m okay. It’s just been kind of overwhelming. How’s Harry doing? I haven’t seen him and I’m kind of worried about him?”

“He’ll be fine. It’s a lot for him to take in too.” Brian kissed Justin tenderly. “I talked to your mom. She’s doing okay, holding her own with the gang.”

“I bet you warned her not to hurt me.” Justin gave a half laugh. He knew his overprotective husband.

“I might have mentioned something.” Brian admitted.

“I think I should go and talk to Harry.” Justin said. He pushed himself upright.

“I think you should too.” Brian’s voice was low. “I’ll talk to the girls and see how the bedrooms have been divided up. Do you want me to run you into town later? It is the day before Christmas?”

“It’s strange, with everything going on, I almost forgot that.” Justin smiled up at his husband. “I can’t believe you offered to go Christmas shopping with me.”

“Someone has to make sure you don’t go overboard.” Brian smirked.

“You love me and you know it.” He kissed Brian. “Help me up. I’m going to find my dad.” He looked quizzically at Brian. “That felt kind of strange saying that.”

Brian helped him to his feet, handed him his crutches and the kissed him soundly before whispering. “Harry is out in the gazebo.”

“Hey” Justin said when he was a few feet from the gazebo. “Crutches in sand really sucks.” He laughed.

Harry watched his independent son walking toward him. He knew better than to offer his assistance to the proud young man. Before Justin reached the small thatched structure, Harry began to speak. “I’m sorry Justin. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did as a child. I didn’t know.”

“Don’t be sorry for something you couldn’t help.” Justin smiled at him. He recognized now why Harry’s eyes had always seemed so familiar. He saw them every day in the mirror. He looked shy. “Can I call you Dad? I never really had anyone to call that before.”

“No one has ever called me that before, I’d be proud to have you call me Dad.” Harry smiled through watery blue eyes. The same eyes that looked back at him. “Life sure is strange isn’t son?”

“It sure is.” Justin agreed. “Are you and mom?” the question wasn’t finished and hung there in the air between them.

“I don’t know what your mother and I are going to do. A lot of time has passed since I first fell in love with my Jenny girl. A lot of time.”

“She waited for you all these years. She was sure you were out there somewhere.” Justin said.

“I see you get your stubbornness from your mother.” Harry said with a soft laugh. “And your liking for Navy men. I suppose if Brian disappeared you’d wait for him too.”

“I’d wait for him until the day I died.” Justin admitted. “Brian has promised to always come back to me. He never breaks his promises.”

“He might not be able to you know. His work is dangerous.”

“He’ll come back to me.” Justin said with assurance. “Even if it’s only in my dreams, he’ll be back.”

“I’m glad you have someone like Brian in your life. It makes what you went through as a child seem somehow worthwhile. It made you the man you are today.”

Justin laughed, his laugh tinged with bitterness. “A man who needs constant assurance of his husband’s love?”

“Everyone needs that son. Everyone needs to hear the words as often as they can.” Harry stood up. “Let me help you back to the house. I think you should rest that ankle. I’m sure you don’t want to spend extra time in a cast.”
“Thanks Dad.” Justin said as he allowed his father to help him to the house.

~~~***~~~***~~~***

Justin crawled into bed, and lifted the covers for Brian to crawl in beside him. After removing his shorts, Brian slid in beside him so Justin could lay his head on Brian’s chest. “Thank-you.”

“So I guess this is one surprise that actually worked?” Brian joked, moving his shoulder so Justin’s head slid across his chest. “I mean since all of my things are disastrous.”

“Not everything, smart ass. You just have this little tendency to go overboard, to think that you know what I want. You have a very strong presence that it’s hard for someone to say no to you.” Justin stated letting the small smile on his lips show he wasn’t really upset. “I love you for it, no matter the outcome. It shows that you care, that you love me. It’s more than I could have ever hoped for.”

“I do, and I only want what’s best for you, Justin. I want you to be happy. So if this isn’t what you want, tell me… we’ll be on the next plane out of here.” Brian lifted Justin’s face from his chest and looked into his lover’s eyes. He wanted to see the truth that was buried in his soul. “Are you happy?”

“More than I could have ever hoped to be. You make me happy, every second of every day.” Justin leaned in and kissed Brian lightly on the lips. Lowering himself back down onto Brian’s chest, he began to glide his hands over his lover’s firm body. “Are you happy? I have hardly seen you since we got in.”

Brian took a deep breath and ran his hands up and down Justin’s back. “I’m happy as long as you are. It’s just a little overwhelming for me is all. I’m not really used to having a ‘family’ get-together. This is all new to me, remember. It just takes some getting used to.”

Justin leaned up to run his hand over Brian’s cheek. “I didn’t realize that this would be hard for you. I guess I was just caught up in everything; it never even registered.”

“I’m fine, Justin. Just know that if I’m not in sight, I am most likely taking a little breather. I will get used to this eventually, Justin. Time… that’s all it takes.” Brian leaned his forehead against his husbands and placed a light kiss on Justin’s nose. “Besides, this is just the first of many family gatherings, I’m sure. It’s a good test of my mental capacity, and sanity.”

“I guess if everyone comes out of this intact, and without any guns being drawn we should count this a success then?” Justin laughed knowing how his husband worked. He knew that Brian tended to get a little crazy when things got out of hand, or became overwhelming. “I’ll be there to protect you. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“My hero. Now get some sleep… tomorrow’s a big day. Christmas here we come.”

~~~***~~~***~~~***

Justin sat in one of the plush chairs on Brian’s lap looking at everyone moving around the living room. He was thrilled that everything turned out well, that his rush Christmas shopping had gone over well. He still was amazed how patient Brian was, and the fact that the man had been so willing to take him shopping. Justin knew that his husband despised it, hated shopping with a passion, so it had meant more than anything else. Well that, and it seemed like Brian was more willing to be open around others this Christmas. “I still can’t believe this, it’s like a dream.” Justin leaned back against Brian resting his head in the crook of Brian’s neck. “I used to dream about this when I was growing up. Having my family around, having a real Christmas. I owe it all to you.”

“I didn’t do anything. You’re the one who found your parents. All I did was make some phone calls.” Brian stated as he wrapped his arms around Justin, pulling his lover tighter against his chest. “I’ll do anything as long as it makes you happy.”

Justin turned his head so he could plant a kiss on the side of Brian’s neck. “I love you. And I thank-you for giving me this.” Justin saw the small smile on his husband’s lips before he went back to resting his head against Brian. “What do you think about what Deb was talking about?”

“How dry the turkey was?” Brian purposely stated, avoiding the topic.

Justin pinched Brian, and glared up to him. “Noooo. About having a family, our own family.”

Brian took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This was a topic that he knew would be coming. ‘I’ve seen Justin; he looks like the nesting type to me. You wait and see; one of these days he’ll be convincing you that it would be a good idea for the two of you to have a kid.’ His friend told him before his and Justin’s first Christmas as a married couple. It had never left his mind. Brian was as unsure of the answer now as he was then. “Justin, think about it. What would we have to offer a child? I’m gone most of the time, that would mean you would be alone…it would be our damn childhoods all over again.”

“But it would be a part of you, have you thought about that? A child would give me something else to think about while you’re gone, keep me out of trouble.” Justin joked. Justin had never really thought about having a child, but hearing Deb mention it stirred something within him that he didn’t know existed. “Will you think about it? For me?”

“If we were to do this, who would be the father?”

“In today’s society, it is possible that we both could be the father. You know, have one’s DNA joined with the sperm of the other. The wonders of modern technology.” Justin laughed. “Scary if you think about it.”

“What would you tell the child if something were to happen to me and I didn’t come home?” Brian asked Justin letting his fears come out. “How would you… would you be able to handle the care of a child if something happened to me?”

Justin turned around slightly, realizing his husband’s fears. “Brian, if we were to have a child, I would never let them think that we didn’t love them. I would never wish that we didn’t have them. I would do everything I could to keep the child safe, and loved. They will never hear me say that I wish they weren’t there, that they weren’t born. If something were to happen, I would be able to pour everything I have into them… it would hurt, but we’d go on. I’d have a part of you with me.”

Brian nodded, taking in what Justin was telling him. He wanted to share Justin’s enthusiasm and optimism, but he wasn’t sure that it was possible. He didn’t want to think that Justin would have to handle things without him, but he knew that the possibility was there. “What if I’m sterile

“There’s one way to find out. They do tests for that sort of thing. And if you are, then we can use your DNA and my sperm.” Justin explained. He already had a reply to every one of Brian’s scenarios. “Brian, you might as well say yes… I want to have a baby with you. I want to someday have someone that we can both love and care for. I want to have something to care for while you’re away. It doesn’t have to be now, it could be years from now… but I want that. Think about it, please.”

“You really want this don’t you?” Brian asked looking down at Justin, reading the truth in his husband’s eyes. “Okay… we can do what we need to do, check into the procedures, whatever.”

“Thank-you.” Justin reached up and kissed Brian on the lips. “Now who would be the mom?”

“You?” Brian joked but felt Justin’s reply to that in his ribs as his lover elbowed him. “Okay… geeze. Well we have two candidates right there in Linds and Daphne.”

“They already are fighting over it. Did you see the look in their eyes when Deb brought it up?” Justin laughed. He couldn’t believe that the two women would fight over who would carry the child, if there was to be one. “How about we let them fight over it?”

“You know if you let them decide then we will never have a child.” Brian looked over at the two women standing in a corner of the room, obviously in a heated discussion. “Christ! I never thought that people would be fighting over our sperm. It’s just… just wrong!”

~~~***~~~***~~~***

“I’ve known Brian my whole life. It would make sense that I carry the child. Plus I’m an artist as well, just like Justin. It would work out perfectly.” Lindsey tried to reason with her friend. “Besides, it’s not like I have a demanding job. I could take time off easily if something were to happen.”

“That’s beside the point. And I’ve known Justin for like ever. I would be the most likely person. I’m always around Justin when Brian’s away, and I don’t have a partner to consider. You’re seeing someone, who might not be too happy about you carrying someone’s child. Who’s to say that they don’t want to have the child themselves… try and take the child away from Justin and Brian?” Daphne threw back. “It makes perfect sense that I carry the child.”

Lindsey looked at Daphne and shook her head. “So? I would make it perfectly clear that wasn’t the case. It wouldn’t be an issue.”

“You say that now, but what about months from now?”

Brian and Justin sat back and listened to the argument, both shaking their heads. “Let them fight it out. I for one, don’t want to get in the middle of a cat fight.” Brian told Justin as the women’s argument started to get more heated.

“And I’m injured.” Justin stated as he began to follow his husband out of the room, past the two women. “I prefer to live to see tomorrow. I don’t think I will ever understand women.”

Brian glanced at his husband with an evil look in his eye. “You know, I still have Jacobs’ number. We could have her be the mom.”

~~~***~~~***~~~***

“Justin!” Brian called out as he walked back out of the villa. “Will you let your mother go, or better yet, get her in here so you can rest!”

“He loves me,” Justin smiled at his mother, laughing. “Coming dear.”

“You really should be nicer to him. He loves you a great deal. It’s not nice to torture him so much.” Jennifer laughed as she shook her head. She was thrilled that she was able to spend this time with Justin, and it made everything easier for him that Justin had someone like Brian in his life. Brian was everything she had hoped her son would have in life, someone who would do anything for him. She grabbed a hold of Justin’s carry-on bag and followed him into the house.

~~~***~~~***~~~***
Christmas 2013 –

“Lindsay, here’s the deal” Daphne stood with her arms crossed at the far end of the beach. The two women had left the busy and noisy house to talk about their feelings regarding maybe carrying Brian and Justin’s child.

“What?”

“The thing is if either of us does this, would we be willing to let our daughter go to live with Brian and Justin with only the occasional visit?”

“That’s what’s making this such a hard decision.” Lindsay admitted. “I love Justin but I’ve been Brian’s friend forever. We share a bond that’s never going to break. I don’t know if I can really go through with this kind of pregnancy. It’s one thing for me to carry Brian’s child, and another to be carrying Brian and Justin’s child. I won’t even be part of the baby; I’ll just be an incubator.”

“Brian is never going to fuck you Lindsay.” Daphne said bluntly. “And you’re dumb to even think that he might.”

“I know, but if Justin hadn’t…..” her word trailed off.

“He still wouldn’t have, so get over that notion.” Daphne turned to look out onto the ocean. “I’m going to do it. If there ever comes a day when they want to have a baby, then I’m going to do it. I’ve read up on the procedure and it’s relatively simple. They use Brian’s sperm and they add a mix of Justin’s DNA and voila a new life is created. Well maybe it isn’t quite that simple, but you know what I mean. Then the doctors put the little bit of the boys into my womb and nine months later I give them their daughter. It’s only a few months out of my life. I know I’ll be attached to the baby, but it won’t be mine. It’ll be a baby that belongs entirely to my best friend and his husband. I’ll be her favorite auntie.”

“I’d like to do it too.” Lindsay said quietly. “But I’d want to be part of the baby’s life. I’d want to be called Mom.”

“I’d like that too. But it would be up to the baby’s parents.” Daphne smiled at her friend.
“You know, if the time ever comes, maybe we could do it together.”

“They’d be like twins but not twins.” Lindsay laughed.

“Let’s hope that we each only have one. You know there is always a chance of multiple births.” Both girls started to laugh at the thought of Brian faced with a houseful of daughters. “Plus I think right now we have them running scared with our little scene inside.”

“Yeah, let them sweat a little before we tell them.” Lindsey laughed.





~~~***~~~***~~~***

“What’s the hurry, Brian?” Justin asked as he entered the villa. It amazed him that they would soon be leaving this place and heading back to their home in Virginia. He hoped he could convince his mother to come with them, but he knew he didn’t have much time to play with.

Brian turned to look at the two as they came into the house. He could easily see the resemblance between them and he gave a small smile. Christmas hadn’t been bad; in fact he had actually enjoyed it for the most part. He knew that Justin had what he always wanted… a family. That above all else was what Brian wanted to happen. “Come here.” He quietly said as he felt Justin’s arms go around his waist. “You do remember that I have to be on a plane tomorrow right?”

“Yes.” Justin pulled Brian closer to him. Brian hadn’t told him about the mission until the night before. He had hoped that for once they could start the New Year together, not apart. But he knew that it wouldn’t happen, at least not this year. “I’m still upset that you didn’t tell me before.”

“And ruin your Christmas?” Brian asked with a small smile. He had wanted to stay and help with the packing, wanted to stay and just be with Justin, but he knew that he couldn’t. He hadn’t wanted to ruin the holiday for his lover, since he knew that if Justin had known, there would have been a dark cloud over everything. “Think of it this way, you can spend more time with your mom, and see if you can convince her to move to the states.”

~~~***~~~***~~~***

“Justin, has Brian left?”

Justin smiled into the phone. It was nice to have someone close care about him when Brian was on a mission. “Yes, he left real early this morning.”

“Brian said that you will be moving back to Virginia soon.”

“Sooner than I want to in one way. I’m going to hate to leave you mom, now that I’ve found you.”

“I’m not saying that I will for sure. But I may just go with you and perhaps stay for a few months to see what it’s like to live there again. There really isn’t anything holding me here.”

“And Dad and I are going to be there.” Justin said with a laugh.

“Well, you are and yes, I suppose Harry is too. I’m not so sure where Harry fits into my life or where I fit into his.”

“You could stay at Avalon with Brian and I. We have tons of room.”

“I don’t think so Justin. I’d be more comfortable in a place of my own. But I can visit often. I’ll find a place close by.”

Justin thought for a moment and realized that his mother was right. When Brian was home their lives were volatile and he was sure it would make his mother uncomfortable.

“Brian really likes you mom. He doesn’t know what to do around you. His mother always has made him feel like he should never have been born.”

“That bitch” his mother hissed.

Justin burst out laughing. “I can’t believe you said that mom.”

“Well, Brian is a wonderful man. I can’t imagine him being anything less than a wonderful boy as he grew up. I just hope I never run across the woman. For both of our sakes.”

Justin continued to giggle. Having someone he loved defend the man he loved was beyond great. “Hey mom, I have to start packing, so I’d better go.”

“Why don’t I come over and help. You still have your bad ankle to deal with.”

“I’ll put a pot of tea on.”

“See you soon Justin.”

~~~***~~~***~~~***

January 23, 2014

Dear Brian:

I saw your address on a letter I was mailing for Justin and thought I’d drop you a line and send you these oatmeal raisin cookies. I made enough for you to share with your friends and the nice man I talked to at the base has assured me you will get both the letter and the package.
I spent the last couple of days helping Justin pack up your home in Spain. He’s getting excited about going back to Avalon in Virginia and having you there with him. I also had a viewing of his paintings. They are out of this world – the techniques and passion he uses in the abstracts take your breath away. But I’m sure you know that.

The powers that be work in mysterious ways, but I have to say I’m still a bit surprised that they have been so good to me lately. I’ve found both the son of my body and a son of my heart, that’s you and Justin, Brian. Please stay safe and take care.

Love
The Mom

~~~***~~~***~~~***
Brian leaned against the tree, letter in hand. He had handed off the cookies after taking a couple for himself, the moment they arrived. It gave him a chance to relax and see what Justin’s mom had to say to him. He hadn’t had too much of a chance to talk to the woman, mainly letting her and Justin get to know one another, but he had liked her. She cared a great deal for Justin, and he could tell that he needn’t worry about her ever hurting his husband.

Brian closed his eyes trying to put a halt to the emotions that were raging through him. It was a shock to him when the package arrived, even though he figured that it was something Justin would do. But finding a different handwriting on the outside caused his heart to stop in his chest. His first thought was that something had happened to Justin. When he opened it and saw the small tin, he knew that his fear was for nothing.

The words ‘son of my heart’ caused his heart to pound right out of his chest. No one had ever said those words to him, even considered him to be a son. He wished that his own mother had given a damn about him, had said one kind word about him as he was growing up. He wished that his own family could be proud of him, just once. Reading those words from someone who he barely knew… someone who from a brief contact cared about him… he couldn’t comprehend it.

Brian knew that when he got back he would have to spend some time getting to know his ‘mother-in-law’. Setting the letter in the pocket of his camies, Brian felt a small smile cross his lips. He could just imagine what it would be like if Jennifer ever met his real parents. She was feisty enough to hold her own against the Kinney ‘charm’.

That was something he would pay to see. For the first time in his life, he had a family… one who would watch out for him, and take care of him.

~~~***~~~***~~~***
End of Chapter Fifteen.

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