CLAIRE POV

My brother could really be stubborn sometimes. Justin called and told me that he got held up and to get Brian released and I did. It’s not like he was being held against his will. For the whole hour trip back to the loft he didn’t say a damn thing. He just looked out the window like a sick puppy. I wanted to tell him that he should try and talk because after the procedure…..but then I told myself that I didn’t really want to think about after the procedure. Due to Brian’s pain it has been moved up and is now in two days. They’ve done all the blood work so all he has to do now is show up. He took a shower earlier and promised me that he was going to come out acting normal but he didn’t. I want to smack him but I know that a smack on the face will jar his throat and I don’t want to cause him pain.

We arrive at the loft and he offers me something to drink then goes to the bedroom and steps out of all of his clothes right there in front of me. I mean, I know I’m his sister but you never want to see your brother’s cock no matter how well-endowed he is. One glance at it and think to myself that all the ladies around probably hate that he’s gay and then I think what he must be doing to the insides of that poor Justin. Justin is so young and fragile and to think about what the two of them do here sort of makes me blush. Then I think, damn, am I sick or what? I look back into his room and he’s just lying there, staring at the ceiling.

"Brian?" He says nothing. "Brian. I’m sorry about what I said earlier. It’s no-one’s business but yours about the Leukemia. You don’t have to tell anyone shit. But if you did it would explain to a lot to people about what you eat and why you’re so skinny. I mean, what about Gus?"

"What about him?"

"You’re anemic. How did you explain that to Lindz?"

"I told her I was anemic and she got Gus tested. End of story."

"Does it hurt?"

"Only when I breathe, talk, exist?"

"You’re all sweaty. Don’t you think you should take a shower?"

"I’ve already had three showers. It’s the Vodka and all the other shit. It’s escaping through my po-po-pores. I’m pathetic."

"You’re fine. Just take the words slowly. Don’t forget to breathe. It’s going to be fine."

"Yeah. Whatever. I’m sleeping now."

"Fine. I’ll go watch TV."

"Well. We’re here, Lindz. Shall we go in?"

"I don’t know. I mean, his sister’s here."

"Yeah, so?"

"It’s almost ten at night. Why would she be here? Why is she here and no-one else?"

"Does she know, Melanie? I really can’t take this right now."

"What about you? Are you all right? Do you feel sick? Is the baby okay? Hey babe, you’re getting yourself worked up over something that might be nothing."

"But you said--what do I know? I’m hormonal. I’m three months pregnant and I want to shout it from the rooftops."

"Let’s just go home, Babe. It’s Friday, there’s always Sunday dinner."

"You’re right. Come on. Let’s go home. We’ve been parked out here long enough."

MICHAEL POV

Okay. I’m stunned. MOTHER! I was not expecting him to say she was his mother. She looks so young and they act like brother and sister. She can’t be his mother. Ben is thirty-two-years old and my mother is nothing like her, so this can’t be his mother."

"I know what you’re thinking, Michael and you’re right. I am too young to be Ben’s mother. I was a loose kid. I for one can admit that now and I was pregnant with Benji here when I was fifteen years old. So right now I’m a young forty-seven and I think I look good. So when do I get to meet this new grandson you guys took in?"

"Soon, mother. He’s working a shift at the diner."

"Good. I’ve taught you well, Benji. Where’s the bathroom?"

"Down the hall. It’s the second door on the right."

"Good. Be right back."

Michael couldn’t help himself, he watched her as she walked away. She was just too young-looking to be Benji’s mother. ‘Benji.’ That was cute.

"Michael there’s something I gotta tell you before she comes back here."

"Sure. What is it?"

"Well. You know that I love you, right?"

"Of course, Ben. What is it?"

"It’s my mother. She loves me and everything I told her about you just made her love you more but there’s just one flaw in the things I told her about you."

"What flaw?"

"She sort of thinks your positive."

"What?"

JUSTIN POV

Okay. Is this what I signed on for? He’s just lying there. He’s completely naked with the duvet over him. He’s looking at me or maybe looking through me. I’ve been here an hour and all he has said is, ‘you came back’ and ‘lie with me.’ Claire showed herself out and said that she would see us on Monday for the procedure. So now I lay here looking into his eyes. He’s sleepy but he won’t give in. He’s sweaty. He wants a shower but he’s dead on his feet. So he won’t say that he needs me to join him and help him. He just looks to me to figure it out.

"I’ll be right back."

I went to the bathroom and got the basin from under the sink. I filled it up with his favorite bath gel and I got his shaving kit and a white sheet from the closet. I was going to take care of him. This would be my first time to show him that I was there for him and that I knew he was going to need help. I gather up all my materials and go back to the room to bathe my man.

When he saw me coming, I thought he was going to protest but he stood up and let me put the sheet over his duvet. He knew I wanted it on the bed so I didn’t mess it up. I wet the cloth and begin to wash his face with his favorite face cloth. He leaned into my touch and his whole body relaxed.

"Feel good?"

"Yeah." I moved to his neck and stopped there. I didn’t mean to but I could feel it. It really startled me because I knew that I had been spending time with Ethan but hadn’t I been touching Brian in our usual way? Why hadn’t I felt this? I remember when he had that sore throat and this made tears prickle my eyes but I was not going to let them fall. I was not about to be a silly little faggot. I was a man and I was going to show the man that I loved that I could prove myself to him.

"I’m so sorry, Brian."

"Sorry’s…….and then he stopped and swallowed hard. I don’t know if that meant it hurt too bad to continue or he truly believed that I was but I got the other cloth and begin to wipe down his chest.

MICHAEL POV

"She what?"

"Listen. My mother, she loves me and she accepts me for the way that I am, but she wants me to go out there and find a nice positive guy to love so that I don’t leave them when I die."

"So you told her I was positive?"

"No, of course not. I would never say that about you. I just never implied that you weren’t. Then when I told her that we had taken in Hunter a few months ago and when she learned about his status she just figured that, well, we were one big, happy positive family."

"Ben. Do you expect me to lie to your mother?"

"Of course not. Just don’t tell her unless she asks. When I find the right moment I will tell her the truth."

"I never thought she would turn up here. She’s always so busy with work."

"What does your mother do?"

"She’s an oncologist."

JUSTIN POV

Who knew that bathing someone could turn out to be so damn sexual? I swear this was not what I was going for, but here he is naked and panting. I’m so hard in my pants right now and my cock’s begging for release but I will not act on my impulses. I will not let him think that this is what it’s about. I soap up the cloth and I begin to bathe his chest and across his abdomen. I start to wonder if the tubing to the feeding tube will be small or large. That it will probably go all the way up to his nose. God! I can’t think about this. Just then I feel the muscles in his stomach tighten and I look up and he has a pained look on his face.

"Brian?" He takes a few breaths and rolls to his side and puts his knees up. This is good ‘cause well, I need to get his back anyway.

I brush the cloth over his back and then I slide it in his crack. I brush over his hole and he whimpers. "Brian?" What’s freaking me out the most is that he’s gone back to not talking. Claire told me that sometimes it gets too hard for him and he’s just quiet. It explains a lot to me about the past couple of days. How when I think he’s going to give me the argument that I want he shuts down. I’m thinking about that and not really thinking about what I’m doing until I feel him sliding back against my finger. What?

He’s trying to fuck himself on my finger. I look at him and he gives me that look. I know what it means. I slide my pants down and I rub up against him. I slide my hand around and begin to stroke his cock. It’s turning me on how it’s hardening right in my hands and there goes that whimper again. "Brian?" He smiles and I know that he wants it hard and rough. He doesn’t want it nice and slow. He doesn’t want me to make love to him. That will make him feel like it’s the end and I have to do this for his sake. He wants me to fuck him.

I push him over on his stomach, and he slides his butt up and I attack his hole. He lets out a weird noise and it startles me but he looks over his shoulder and with his eyes I know that this all he has right now. I grab a condom from the bowl on the night stand and without warning I shove all my girth inside of him. His knees buckle and I know that he’s truly enjoying himself. He stands up on his haunches and grinds himself on to me. I’m taking it. I’ve never wanted him so much in my life. I pound in to him like some kind of wild animal. I reach around and I jerk his cock. He’s sweaty and I know that it’s not because of what we’re doing, it’s because of this thing. I just want to have him because in two days they’re going to cut him open and then what? I’ll have to watch him die? That’s when it hits me. This is just so wrong. I sleep with Brian a lot and he lets me top him but I don’t want to be the top now. I’m still pounding into him because that’s what my body wants but I don’t want it anymore. I realize that it’s so fucking wrong. I want Brian to be fucking me into the mattress and saying dirty things to me. I don’t want to be all sweaty, pounding into the man I love and realizing that he has given me himself as a gift because I may not be able to do this anymore. It hits me like a ton of bricks. He’s doing this in case he dies. I suddenly feel his cum all over my hands as he climaxes and that causes his ass muscles to clamp on my condom-covered dick and I come too. He is lying there satisfied and then I notice that he’s crying. Brian Fucking Kinney is crying in my arms. God, I wish I was a kid again. All of a sudden I wish that Claire was here and I could pass this shell of a man over to her. I hold him tightly and I tell him that we can do this. No need to worry. That I’m there and nothing can stop us now. He leans into my touch and relaxes. He has faith in me and he loves me. It’s my turn to be strong. He leans in closer as if he wants to climb inside of my body and then he says it.

"I love you, Justin."

"Let’s sleep, Brian."

MICHAEL POV

Ben’s mother talks a lot which is a good thing because after the bomb he just dropped I don’t think I can talk. Ben filled her in about how Hunter was hanging round the comic book store and that we found him sleeping in the store room and we had taken him in. She was proud of her Benji. She knew that she had taught him well. She also told me that she was glad that Ben had found someone so young, and caring and not like his ex who had given this disease to her son. She hated HIV, of course. This I suspected but she really hated Ben’s ex and she told him to be sure to tell her where he was buried while she was in town, so she could spit on his grave. That sort of startled of me. I mean, she was a doctor so shouldn’t she show some kind of compassion? Then I realized that she was just sorry that this could cause the death of her son. She gave us both a kiss and went to bed. I was glad because I couldn’t take this much longer. I was going to tell her the truth. Tomorrow was Saturday and we’d be stuck together. I’m sure that I’ll have to do something to avoid being in a room alone with her because if I don’t I’m going tell her that i'm negative. I know I am.

JUSTIN POV

He couldn’t take it. He made a mistake. Why the hell was he trying to do this? He knew that he loved Brian. There was no question about that but he was only nineteen-years-old. Why in hell did he think that he would be able to take Brian being sick. They haven’t even cut him open yet and Brian pretends he’s dead. Justin took a look at himself in the mirror and he didn’t like the face that stared back at him. He was young and healthy. His clean hair shone and his body looked healthy and Brian was out there with a huge lump in his neck. He was diseased and they were going to cut him open. He might lose all his hair, or his voice or both. He could be depressed or when this all was over afraid of his own shadow. In the end Brian could be worse off than him. Just thinking about this told him that he didn’t like the healthy face that looked back at him in the mirror. "What the hell are you looking at?" It was as if his reflection had laughed back at him. That only made Justin angrier and before he knew it he had punched the glass. Now all he saw was dots as the pain rushed to his hand and he looked at his distorted reflection in the mirror. This just pissed him off more. He could swear that the reflection was still laughing.

Brian was awakened from his slumber by a loud crash. It only took seconds for him to realize that Justin was not in the bed with him. He ran to the bathroom and he opened the door and what he saw scared the shit out of him. Justin was in there punching the mirror over and over telling it to shut up. His hand was a bloody mess when Brian pulled him away.

"Justin. What the hell are you doing?"

"He was laughing at me!"

"Who?"

"Me. He was just in there laughing and I wanted him to shut his face. I just I wanted it not to be me."

"Come on. Let’s get you to the hospital. You’re probably going to need stitches." "No. I’m not going to a hospital and you need to get back in bed."

"I don’t need to do anything"

"I need to take care of you."

"I’m not dead yet."

"Then stop acting like it!" Then Justin stormed from the bathroom. He grabbed Brian’s keys and slammed out of the loft.