"We don’t need this!"

"What?"

"He just barges into our house in the middle of the night. We don’t need this, Lindz. What is he implying? I told him from the first night that I didn’t want nor need his money. I can take care of you and Gus, and this baby. I don’t need Brian Kinney’s money! We don’t need a dime from him."

"Wait a minute! You’re pissed because he came in here in the middle of the night and left this gift. Am I hearing you correctly?"

"Yes. And when you see him you need to get the key back."

"Melanie. I know that you and he have had problems and that for some reason you refuse to see the caring man that I see."

"Caring?"

"Yes, caring. He gave us Gus. He didn’t have to, you know and I know a part of him didn’t want to but he’s so afraid that he’s going to be Jack. If you would just see past what he lets you see, then you would understand."

"Understand what?"

"That he gave up his son."

"If it came down to getting his dick sucked or parent/teacher night, well then, we know what comes first. Brian Kinney always gets his needs met."

"Melanie. How exactly did he get his needs met tonight? He threw that huge party for Michael and Justin and then had his heart cut out and trampled on. Didn’t you see his face? I know you saw it.

"Where are you going?"

"I’m going downstairs. You should have the bed because you’re pregnant but I-well I can’t be here with you right now."

"Am I reading that sign correctly? "Happy Springs Rehabilitation Clinic?" That’s what the sign says."

"Michael. I can read."

"Why would Brian be here?"

"Why?"

"You have met Brian. Right? I mean, he drinks like a fish and snorts so much shit up his nose I’m amazed at how highly functional he really is.

"Yeah, I know Justin but this, this is where sick people go after they’ve gambled away all their money or their wives have left them."

"Oh?"

"Don’t look at me like that, Michael. Brian never looked at me as his "wife" and I didn’t leave him. I was pushed away. Hell, up until last night I never thought he saw me as anything more than a convenient fuck.

"You ungrateful asshole!"

"Excuse me?"

"You say that he never did this and he never did that, but he showed up at your prom. He watched you get hit in the head with a baseball bat and when I went to the hospital he was covered in your blood - clinging to that fucking scarf that I later found out he was still wearing well after you were released from the hospital. He was distraught. He was hurt because someone hurt his precious Sunshine. Things would’ve been a lot better if he would’ve just left your ungrateful ass lying there!"

"What?"

"You heard what I said and I’m not taking it back. Someone should’ve said it long ago."

"I’m going inside here and when I come back make sure you’re gone."

"Excuse me?"

Be gone. I’m coming outta here with Brian and when we come out we don’t have time for you and your petty jealousy."

"I have no reason to be jealous of you and Brian. He’s my best friend."

"You’re right. He is your best friend and he will always be your best friend."

"Exactly. So, why would I be jealous?"

"Because you’ve been following him around for fifteen years waiting for him to fuck you and it only took me fifteen minutes! Be gone when I get back."

Cynthia couldn’t take it. She was about to break. She was happy when Claire edged her into the hallway.

"Pull yourself together, Cyn or he won’t let you back in. How could something like this happen and I not notice? I was with him all day yesterday. He seemed well. We were all at that party and he was his normal, charming self."

"This is Brian. He’s been taught to put up a façade. He’s the only kid I know who played a full soccer game with four broken ribs without letting anyone know."

"Jesus, Claire. He’s so weak-looking. One more minute in there and I was going to crack. He acts as if he’s dead. Are they optimistic?"

"Oh. Brian’s chances are good. He’ll have surgery and radiation, maybe some chemo if that doesn’t work and then recovery, but that’s not what’s getting to him."

"Justin?"

"Yeah."

"So, did you leave the clue? I gave you the brochure to this place so you could slip it in his bag at the club."

"No. I didn’t do it. I got distracted. I was trying to put on a happy face all night during that thing and I forgot my only job."

"Jesus, Cyn. My brother is about to have major surgery and he won’t ask but you know he needs Justin and your only job---"

"Don’t worry. I left a message on the machine."

"What good will that do?"

"Justin is resourceful. He probably followed me all the way here. Back in the beginning of their "relationship" Brian would tell me that Justin was everywhere he turned."

"Good. Are you ready to go back in?"

"I can’t. Tell him I got called away. I’ll come back once Justin arrives. I just can’t stand to see him that way."

"It’s fine, Cynthia. He understands."

"Claire. I just wanna say that I’m sorry."

"It’s fine. Brian and I have problems - a lot of problems, but this is different. This is about need. He needs someone and I know that he doesn’t want it to be me but it will have to be."

"Keep me posted."

JUSTIN POV

Justin didn’t know if he would make it to the bathroom before he lost all the contents of his stomach. Cancer. His mother always told him that eavesdropping would be the death of him and when he heard what they said he thought he’d die. Was Brian going to die? Brian’s father had cancer. Would it kill him? He couldn’t take this. He rushed from the bathroom and began checking the names on the doors. He had passed over a dozen and no "Brian Kinney" and that’s when he saw it. "Jordan Meyers" - everyone on the planet knew that was the real name of "Captain Astro." It had to be Brian. He looked through the door and he could halfway make out Brian’s sleeping form. He was curled up in a ball. Justin took a few moments to compose himself and he entered the room.

BRIAN POV

Brian was glad that Claire had sent Cynthia away. The two of them were obviously somewhere, talking about him. He could just imagine it. Poor Brian this and poor Brian that. He needed Claire. She had been here all night and all day and not once did she look at him with pity. She looked at him with concern - something that he hadn’t seen in a long time. He had almost forgotten that she did actually know how to love. Love? Love’s bullshit. He bet Justin was somewhere getting his roses and violin music but he couldn’t think about that - not now. He realized that maybe, just maybe, he had a drama queen moment and did a couple of things a bit prematurely. Like sending Lindz the money. But he had to go to the house one more time in case this thing killed him or he was badly disfigured after this and could never show his face again.

He felt his throat and he could feel it. A week ago he couldn’t feel anything. When he told Justin one night that his throat hurt, Justin felt it and told him thought he felt something. He told him he was being silly. That he was fine. That night Justin took care of him like a good wife and the next day all seemed well enough. The day after that he had to work. It was Justin’s birthday and he had made real plans but cancelled them. Then Melanie and Lindz took him to the concert and that’s where everything started to spiral out of control.

Lindsay had told him you should celebrate and be happy and show someone some kind of emotion. Why? He’s been living in my loft since he was a child. I’m paying his medical bills, his school tuition. I’ve even let him top me more than once. How do you tell someone how you feel? I think you say it with a dick up the ass. No one tops Brian Kinney. It hadn’t been done by an actual person since high school and here I am wearing my heart on my sleeve and apparently all of a sudden he’s blind. So I gave him what he wanted. I gave him his way out. Then I told him what he wanted to hear. I wrote it on a note and I told him. So now he can go and be with Ian and I can lie here and die. It’s so fucking hot in here and every part of my body hurts. I must’ve been outta of my mind to think that I could do without a drink. I gotta get out of here.

Brian slid off the edge of the bed and spun himself around towards the door and there, frozen in the doorway were those eyes - those fucking eyes that could melt his poor, cold heart. That’s if he believed in bullshit like that.

MICHAEL POV

Michael walked into Liberty Diner and took a seat in a booth in the back. He couldn’t believe what that little shit had said to him. Be gone. He dismissed me. I had never seen that look before. Everyone thinks that Justin is so timid and fragile and you gotta be delicate with him, but truth be told he’s a pit-bull. He just about tore my head off before he went inside. Brian was in rehab. Brian Kinney was in rehab. How many more times was he going to have to say it before he realized it to be true? Probably not half as many times he would have to say it to believe that Brian Kinney was in love with Justin Taylor. He loved that twink. A long time ago if I was put in that predicament I would think - no way. But now when I think that Brian Kinney is love with Justin Taylor, well, all I can say is….it’s about damn time. Good for them.

Justin didn’t know what to do. He had been trying to get to this very spot for about twelve hours. Now here he stood in a room looking at the man he loved. The one he now finally knew loved him back. Why was he frozen? What did he want to say?

"Brian. I found your note."

"And?"

"And why couldn’t you say it to my face? Why couldn’t you just ask me to stay?"

"Justin. Right now it’s kind of hard to say anything."

"I know. Why didn’t you tell me?

"Because pity makes my dick soft and I couldn’t take you standing there looking at me like you’re looking at me now."

"Stop this!"

"What?"

"It took me all day to find you and now that I’m here you act as if you don’t want me here and I know that’s far from the truth."

"I don’t need you here with your pity or obligation. You don’t owe me shit."

"I owe you everything, Brian. If we weren’t sitting here in this place I would ask you what you were on."

"Excuse me?"

"No. Excuse me Mr Kinney. Have you looked in the mirror? You’re scared shitless. You told me you loved me on a slip of paper and slipped it under a windshield wiper. I’m here standing before you. Why can’t you just fucking tell me what you’re feeling?"

Justin stood there in the doorway waiting. He would admit that he was feeling a little impatient. There were so many different emotions playing across Brian’s face. He saw hurt. He saw sickness but deep down he could see it. He could see love and want.

"I’m right here Brian and I’m not asking you to say that you love me."

"I know that, but what do you want?

Brian didn’t know what to do or say. He’d been here for what seemed like forever but he knew deep down it was barely a day. All he wanted was for Justin to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay. That’s all he wanted. He had never wanted anything as much he wanted that. But that wasn’t his way. He was not one to need anything, everyone needed him. He didn’t think he had the right to need. Justin needed him to fix him. Michael needed him to love him. Debbie needed him to protect Mikey. Lindsay needed his money, and Mel, well, she needed him to die. So maybe everyone didn’t need him. What about him? Why couldn’t he need? He looked in the eyes of this young boy, of this young man and wondered why he needed him so much? All he knew for sure was that his head hurt from lack of drugs and his throat hurt due to the tumor and right now all he really needed was sleep. He saw Justin reach for the doorknob.

"Stay."

Justin was about to leave but he heard his voice. It was small and faint.

"What did you say?"

"Stay with me. I need you here…..now."

Justin looked at the man before him. He could tell that every word that came out of his mouth literally hurt as it was ripped from his throat and for that he felt guilty. He closed the distance between them. He wanted to touch Brian but he didn’t know if he wanted to be touched. He sat on the bed opposite Brian and slid his back up against the headboard. He was shocked when Brian lifted his body back on the bed and placed his head in his lap. He remembered many times when he had placed his head in Brian’s lap and Brian would run his fingers through his hair and comfort him. He looked down and saw the back of the head that he loved. His body was tense as if he thought Justin might shove him away, but he didn’t. Justin relaxed and brushed his hand across Brian’s forehead and told him he didn’t have to worry about anything. He was there now. He didn’t have to worry about a thing.

He could feel Brian’s body relax more and he began to breathe evenly.

"It’s okay, Brian. I’m not going anywhere. This is where I belong. This is what I need. I need to be here with you, taking care of you- not out of pity, not out of obligation but because I love you, you little twat."