JUSTIN’S POV

Justin couldn’t help himself. He had just started his third drawing of Brian. Brian was even hotter now. He’d heard about people getting cancer and their medication making them sickly and skinny but that didn’t happen with Brian. It made him bulkier. He was on steroids and vitamins, trying to help his body stay healthy. He still had the feeding tube and as of last week he stopped going to his vocal coach who said that his voice just wasn’t there. Brian didn’t have a voice, he would never speak again. I just don’t believe that but I’m scared. The thing about it is - he’s not. He smiles at me and snuggles with me. We fight like we used to and we fuck like crazy.

The other medication Brian is taking has sent his libido through the roof. We’ve fucked everywhere in this place now, and don’t get me started on the fun we’ve had in this hospital bed. It’s so big that I can’t sleep if he’s not beside me in the bed. He has nightmares though and that has me scared as well. Ten more radiation treatments and then it looks like he might need chemotherapy. Brian found that out a couple days ago and he cut off almost all his hair.

If Deb could see him she’d think he was so handsome. He looks hot in sweatshirts now. He saw me wearing this sweatshirt that I had made the other day. It has Winnie the Pooh on it and instead of saying ‘Oh Shit,’ it says ‘Oh Pooh.’ I’m secretly having him one of his own made because I love it. It’s extra big and it’s like a warm blanket. Justin was wrenched from his thoughts by a sound from Brian that brought tears to his eyes.

Brian sat bolt upright in the bed. These dreams were really being a bitch. This time it was his dad and his Uncle Brian chasing him through a forest and Justin was there taunting him. He would try to scream but nothing would come out. He ran to Justin thinking he was going to help and instead he ripped his throat right from his body. God, he was going to crazy he knew it. When he looked at the foot of the bed he was shocked to see Justin sitting there with tears in his eyes.

"What?" Brian mouthed.

"You said my name out loud Brian. You fucking said my name."

LINDSAY’S POV

Lindsay sat in the little coffee shop awaiting Ben’s mother and her weekly update on Brian. She wanted to go over to the loft but Justin told her that it was for the best and she knew that Brian would be furious if she knew that he was sick. So she met with Peta every week and she would tell him how Brian was doing. She looked at her watch and Peta was twenty minutes late. She really needed to get home to Melanie who was getting suspicious. She would give her a few more minutes and then she would have to call her.

Melanie Marcus stood across the street looking at her "loving" wife. She knew it. Lindsay had found someone else. She kept asking her if she looked disgusting and she would tell her how beautiful she was, but truth be told she hadn’t made love with her wife since she had started showing. God, she couldn’t take it. She would not stand there and wait for her to meet her lover. She would go home and wait and then tell her where she’d been. She took out her camera and snapped a picture.

MICHAEL’S POV

"You have to tell him." Michael pleaded.

"I don’t know. He already thinks that his father is dead. He’s already mourned him."

"He thinks that I’m acting strangely. I’m not like you. I can’t keep it up much longer."

"Are you telling me that I’m good at lying, Michael?"

"Mrs Bruckner, I know that you don’t approve of me being with your son, yet you want to be with your husband and you don’t see how it’s the same thing. You have until tonight to tell him or I tell him myself!"

"You wouldn’t dare!"

"The fuck I wouldn’t."

JUSTIN’S POV

"So has he said anything since then, Justin?"

"No mom, but you should have heard it. It wasn’t loud but it was a raspy whisper that made me tingle right down to my toes."

"Justin!"

"Oh come on, mom. It’s not as if we’re talking about a certain appendage. We were about to start discussing alternatives to him speaking but he said my name. Now I’m going to be on a high all night. And thanks for doing this."

"Oh honey, I don’t mind. Brian and I have a great friendship. I enjoy staying here with him once a week."

"Yeah. I just wish he was more like himself so you could see the man that I love. He’s just so tired. Will you try and make him have some soup?"

"I’ll do my best. I see Claire’s saying goodbye to Brian. Where’s she off to?"

"We never ask. I think she misses her kids, but we know that she needs a break from Brian. So she stays away for a few days and she comes back refreshed."

"They seem to be arguing, mom. Maybe I shouldn’t go?"

"Go outside. Michael will be here soon so you better go."

"Okay. Thanks again, mom. Brian, I’m leaving. I’ll be back later."

CLAIRE’S POV

"I can’t believe you, Brian!"

"Keep your voice down!" Brian scribbled on a piece of paper.

"Things are going to change, starting tomorrow. I’m going to stop taking it easy on you. When I come back tomorrow I won’t be your sister Claire, I’m going to be your nurse and I’m going to make you better."

"Whatever!" Brian mouthed.

"Look at you. Do you even care that you don’t eat. That I have to force it down your throat through a tube?"

"I’M FINE CLAIRE!!!" Brian scribbled his words in capitals to get his point across.

"I just well… I love you Brian. Don’t you get it?"

"Yes, me too." Brian mouthed

"Okay. Well, I’ll be back in the morning. Now try the soup, it’s actually good.

JENNIFER’S POV

Jennifer closed the door and secured the alarm because she knew once everyone had left that she and Brian would be busy. She knew he must be going crazy by now because it had been six days since she had last been over. She fixed a hot cup of soup and walked to the comfortable chair which now sat by Brian’s hospital bed. He had just leaned back and closed his eyes tightly, obviously feeling some discomfort but he wasn’t going to let on. He’d let her know if it got too bad. He opened his eyes and just stared at her.

Brian had closed his eyes hoping and praying that maybe she would think that he was asleep. He really wasn’t ready for one of her talks but then he wanted to hear her voice. Does that sound insane? It sounded insane to him. He felt awful and the smell of the soup was getting in his nose, making him want to vomit and that would hurt like a bitch. He couldn’t take it anymore. When he opened his eyes she was staring at him with that annoying, little smile she had.

"Well?"

"I told you that you would slip. Now when are you going to tell Justin you can talk?"

"Never, dr..dr…drop it!."

MELANIE’S POV

"You’re late!"

"Jesus Mel, you scared me. Were you hiding behind the door?"

"You were supposed to be here at five. It’s seven-thirty."

"Sydney wanted to talk about the new show that he wants to take place at the gallery and I couldn’t very well say no to my boss,"

"You know Lindz, I had told myself that I was going to be civil about this but you know what, I can’t take this is anymore. Who the fuck is she?"

"Mel, you sound insane, I’m not seeing anyone else. You’re going to have our baby."

"Yes, I’m fat and disgusting. You barely look at me anymore and I saw you today."

"You saw what?"

"I saw you waiting for your trollop but I didn’t stick around to see who my replacement is. Hell, maybe it’s Brian. No one hasn’t heard or seen him in almost two months but you say you’re talking to him, so do I have to worry?"

"I’m going upstairs to take a shower, and when I come back down maybe you’ll no longer be so crazy."

"Got to wash away the shame?"

"Melanie, I do not think I have to explain myself. Now I’m going upstairs!"

JENNIFER’S POV

Jennifer was very proud of Brian. He had been practicing his words well with her since he gave up going to the center. She could understand that Brian didn’t like talking there. They had group sessions where everyone could hear and sometimes when he got overly excited his words would slur. He didn’t like it and sometimes he would just skip words to make the sentence be over. It still kind of hurt and the vomiting wasn’t making it better. So she’d come over once a week and help him with his voice exercises. She had gone to The Cancer Center and spoken to the speech therapist who talked her through some exercises that they could do together. But soon Brian would have to return to the facility. She was going to help Brian for a month and then he would go back but he was supposed to tell her son.

"See you’re doing great, you got through the whole alphabet."

"It’s weird, I sound like child".

Brian’s voice was low and scratchy. You really had to listen to know what he was saying but Jennifer felt that he should be proud of it.

"You should be proud of it, Brian. I know that it touches me every time I hear it. I’m glad you share it with me."

"Don’t get all soft. I’m an asshole remember."

"Brian you’re…..you’re so much more this last month. I’ve learned a lot.

"Don’t pity me!"

"I’m not pitying you. I love you."

Jennifer couldn’t help herself. She leaned forward and pulled Brian into an embrace. His hair was short in the back and he only had a couple of spikes on the top. He was so handsome, and the thought of him having chemo made her want to cry. She couldn’t imagine him bald.

"Brian, you mean so much to me. I’m glad you trust me to keep your secret."

"Thank you, but please let’s keep it from Sun…Sun..Jussin a little longer."

Brian bolted for the bathroom obviously feelings some effects from the radiation and Jennifer heard the door to the loft slam shut. "Oh shit." she thought.

Justin stood in the hallway trying to keep his tears at bay. He could talk. That word ‘Justin’ was not a miracle he had whispered but it was a secret that his own mother and boyfriend had been keeping. He was the one there holding his hand, wiping up puke, and crying himself to sleep afraid that he would never hear him talk again. Yet here he was chatting with his mother. He didn’t know what to feel. He just knew that he had to get downstairs to Michael’s car for a friendly distraction, at least for a little while.

CLAIRE’S POV

"You’re late! Where have you been?"

"Hello to you too, mother. I’m sorry I was held up some place."

"I’ve been sitting here since seven ready to have dinner and now it’s after eight."

"Mother we can still go and have dinner. It’s my treat so you can have whatever you like."

"You surely have been throwing around the cash lately. I thought you said that your job at the nursing home wasn’t paying much. Claire, where did you get this money?"

"I’ve been doing a little side work, sitting with the elderly."

"Do you really have time to be sitting with some old person? You should be out trying to find yourself someone. You know if you changed your hair and made yourself more presentable then maybe…….

"Maybe what, mother! Maybe my husband wouldn’t have left me?"

"I was not going to say that Claire. What has gotten into you?"

"You, mother. No matter what I say or do you try and bring me down."

"I’m only trying to help you out, dear. A woman needs a man to take care of her."

"Where’s your man, mother?"

"Your father has gone home to Glory, but I assure you he’ll be waiting for me and we shall walk in the Valley together."

"Oh my God, mother! Do you actually believe that bullshit!"

"You won’t use such vulgar language in my presence, Claire. You’ve been hanging around your brother too much. You know I’ve tried to get in touch with him and I can’t."

"What do you want with Brian, Mother?"

"The attic steps are broken. I nearly broke my neck going down there last week. I’m going to need a little extra this month."

"Wow, I can’t believe you. I just….. I can’t be here right now."

"Where are you going? I thought we were going to have dinner."

"I just can’t sit and listen to you right now. I don’t understand you."

"Claire, forgive an old woman. I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll find a man that can take care of you."

"God you’re so… you’re just… I’ll see you for Service on Sunday, Mother!"

JENNIFER’S POV

Jennifer knew that a part of her should be running after her son, but he probably was long gone with Michael by now. She had to comfort Brian, he needed her right now. With all the drugs they were pumping into his body, it wasn’t only messing with his physical appearance which was surprisingly fine but his emotions were everywhere. She could hear him sobbing and retching through the door.

"Sweetheart, can I come in?"

"It’s not fu-fu-fucking locked!"

"Okay. I know what you’re thinking and it’ll be fine. He’ll get over it and he’ll be back when he and Michael finish working on the comic for the night."

"Fucking hates it, heard it, ran away. Don’t want his pity."

"My God, Brian. How did you think it was going to go down when he heard it? I told you weeks ago to tell him. He’s been going out of his mind thinking you’ll never talk."

"Fuck you! Get out of the house now! Don’t need you, don’t need anybody!"

"Brian, calm down. You don’t need to get upset!"

"Why not? He wouldn’t listen. I need to explain. He left, didn’t say anything!"

Jennifer could tell Brian was getting agitated. He was pacing the floor that led to his bedroom and he was ranting when his voice begin to crack. It was getting softer and softer the more agitated he got.

"Brian, calm down! This is not you. It’s the meds. You are not the type to sit and cry about my son. You know that he loves you and he’ll be back. Where’s the Brian Kinney I know and hate?"

"He died months ago. I’m all that’s left."

Jennifer didn’t know what to do. He looked so broken in front of her. She was about to comfort him but his face began to crumble right before her eyes.

"Brian?"

"All wrong" he whispered and then he collapsed.

Justin had been quiet since he entered Michael’s car, which was fine because Michael was going on and on about something. Maybe it was time that he actually listened in case there was a "test" later.

"Are you listening to me?" That’s what I’ve been keeping inside for months now. She took me to see Ander and he’s dying. How in the hell am I going to keep from my boyfriend that his dead father… yeah well, he’s not so dead. It’s eating me up inside Justin. If I didn’t tell someone I was going to die, so I’ve told you. God! I mean I know you can keep a secret. You were going round town with Ethan and…"

"Shut up!"

"You’re right. I’m sorry. We’re beyond that. You know I saw you two at the airport a couple of months ago. I was going to mention it but I gathered that the little weasel wanted a last taste of the forbidden fruit. God, what am I going to do about Ander?"

"I don’t fucking care!"

"What the hell has gotten into you Justin?"

"So what? Your boyfriend’s dad is back from the dead and you don’t know what to do? Didn’t your own not-so-dead dad make an appearance a few months ago? Just ask yourself how that made you feel and decide if you want to put Ben through that, and for God sakes stop driving like a maniac! People have more serious problems than that!"

"Listen, Boy Wonder. I’m sorry that your "boyfriend" is out of town so it’s your time of the fucking month. Do what he’s doing. I’m sure he’s somewhere with his dick up someone’s ass. You guys have rules so follow the rules and get yourself a trick and stop being a whiney little asshole!"

"Whiney asshole! Whiney asshole. I’m not supposed to be upset that he’s a liar. That I’m keeping his fucking secret. Whatever you do Justin, don’t tell them I have cancer. Whatever you do Justin, don’t tell them I can’t talk? Whatever you do Justin, this is between us? Then I cry myself to sleep at night because I’m scared that he’ll never be able to work again. The man that I love isn’t wasting away because the drugs have given him a super body so meanwhile he’s fucking me like crazy but he can’t talk. Then I go back to our apartment because I leave something and I find him and my fucking mother chatting. Well, fuck you Michael. I have real problems. You’re trapped in a rerun that I don’t want to know anything about!"

"Brian has what!"

"Oh my God Michael, watch out!"

PETA’S POV

"Are you going to bring Ben here or not?"

"I don’t know. Are you going to let me take you from this place and take you home?"

"This is my home. I shall stay here and die."

"Ander I can’t stand here and watch you in this place. You don’t belong here."

"Yes I do, and you need to lay off our son. He’s happy. Michael makes him happy."

"You make me happy. I can’t let you go."

"I’m dying Peta."

"I know but don’t you understand. I still love you."

"I understand but I’m not good for you Peta."

"You never were Ander, but you always came back and that tells me that you love me."

"Of course I do Peta. You’re my wife, the others meant nothing. It’s just that I was never the marrying kind."

"If you let me take you home, I’ll bring Ben to see you."

"You will, Peta. I….

Ander’s thoughts were cut off by the sound of Peta’s cell phone

Ander was trying to read Peta’s face but she turned away from him. He did hear her say the name ‘Ben.’ This got his attention. Then she said "Oh my God". That really got his attention. "I’ll be right there, Deb just tell him I’ll be right there."

JENNIFER’S POV

Jennifer was frazzled. She didn’t know what to think. Brian had just collapsed right before her eyes and he wouldn’t wake up. She had to call an ambulance and then they said that his blood pressure was low, and then there was something about him being anemic. What? This was the first she had heard of this. Did Justin know that? Her mind was everywhere but then she saw the doctor.

"Doctor, is Brian going to be okay?"

"And you are?"

"I’m his mother." This was a lie that came so easily to Jennifer now.

"Well, it appears that your son put a hole in his feeding tube so he wasn’t getting all his food."

"What? Why would he do such a thing?"

"Well, with Brian’s weight gain compared to how he looked before the operation, it seems like he doesn’t like his physical appearance."

"Why not? He’s well-defined. He works out a lot."

"That’s also the problem. He really shouldn’t be doing that. With all the throwing up, and I believe that he’s making himself throw up, that’s not good. He’s not getting the nutrients he needs. We’re going to keep him here for a couple of days to check on him. We’re aware that he has ten sessions left and we’re going to make sure he gets them."

"Is he conscious?"

"Yes, he keeps asking for a Justine?"

"Justin, his lover. I can’t find him."

"Could you come with me? He’s very skittish right now?"

"Sure thing."

Jennifer was following the doctor around the corner and before she knew it she was being bear hugged by Debbie Novotny.

"Jennifer. Oh God! Did Sunshine call you too?"

"What?"

"He and Michael were on their way to the store and somehow there was an accident. Justin arm is broken in two places. He’s getting a cast right now. Michael, my boy is in a coma."

Jennifer didn’t know what to do. Brian was a wreck and he needed her but Michael, Jesus was she supposed to tell him?

She saw Carl come around the corner and Deb threw herself on him and continued to sob. Then she noticed that the whole family was there, except for the girls. How the hell was she going to play this off? She heard Justin before he rounded the corner. He was telling an orderly to ‘fuck off.’

"Justin?"

"Mom I didn’t call….Oh God!"

Justin felt his knees buckling. Then before he knew it the orderly that he had been arguing with was holding him up and steering him to a wheelchair.

"You have a concussion, son. The doc wants to keep you here for observation."

"My head is fucking fine. See, I can walk in a straight line and I know that it’s Saturday. I know that five times five is twenty-five, minus two is twenty-three. See my brains didn’t get scrambled. There’s someplace I have to be!"

"Justin. It’s fine. You can stay here tonight."

"Mom?"

"Has Michael got a room yet?"

"Yes, he’s in room 432. I can take Justin there now."

"He wants to be with Michael’s family. I’ll take full responsibility."

"Okay, you’re his mother."

Justin watched as the orderly walked away and his mother steered him in the opposite direction of where Michael’s room was.

"Mom, what’s going on? I didn’t call you but you’re here. What’s wrong with Brian? Did you call Claire?"

"Brian knows that you heard him. We heard you leaving the loft. Sweetie, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell you. It was that he was frightened that you wouldn’t like the way he sounds now."

"Is he insane? I wouldn’t give a fuck if he never talked again. What happened, mom?"

"Apparently he doesn’t like his new, muscular look and he’s developed an eating disorder."

"What? I sit there and I watch him eat."

"Apparently he put a hole in his feeder and he’s been making himself vomit!"

"Oh God, mom. Is he in there?"

"Yes, and he damaged his throat by shouting and his speech might be even harder to understand now. So if you go in there don’t push honey. He’s been asking for you."

"I’m not going to push, mother! Oh God, I can’t go in there. He’s going to see the cut on my forehead, not to mention the cast. He’s going to freak."

"Then let him freak. Let him realize that he’s still him, no matter what the differences are."

"Okay. I can do that. Should I tell him about Michael?"

"You’ll have to. He knows where you were going and who you were with."

"Mom, can he take it? I mean, the medication has his emotions everywhere and it’s been killing him not to be able to go out with the guys or see Gus."

"Honey, he brought all of that on himself and it was bound to come out eventually."

"I’m scared to go inside."

"Go. I’ll be downstairs with the others."

PETA’S POV

Peta ran down the hall to where Ben said that he would be and she saw him staring through a window at Michael. The sight of him standing there looking through that glass tore at her heart. It was like every night when she stood at Ander’s window.

"Ben sweetie, is there any news?"

Ben looked up and his mother was there. He never thought he needed anyone like he needed her. She ran to his side and took him in her arms. She rubbed his back and whispered words of comfort that were beginning to make him feel better. Then all of a sudden he was angry with her.

"Get away from me!"

"Ben darling, what’s the matter? Did something else happen?"

"He’s in a coma mom, a fucking coma! They’re saying things about bleeding and swelling in his brain. He actually put his hand out to protect Justin when they hit whatever it was. That’s the kind of guy he is. He was worried about Justin’s recent head trauma."

"Justin’s head trauma? What happened to Justin? Ben, are you saying there’s no hope? I know people who can help him."

"Why would you want to help him?"

"Ben, he’s the man you love. I like Michael. I never wanted something like this to happen to him.’

"Didn’t you? No wait. That’s right. It was supposed to happen to me. I was supposed to die and leave him here all alone. Leave him here for you to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart! Well, tell me mother. Are you ready to pick up the pieces of mine!

"Ben, I’m so sorry."

"You’re sorry, you’re fucking sorry! You’ve been spreading the word about dying and HIV and how I was going leave him and you didn’t want to see him get hurt. Tell me mother. Is this how you were going to comfort him? Because if it is, you suck at it!"

"Listen to yourself. This is not you. You’re not making any sense."

"None of this makes sense. I can’t lose him, mom. He’s my reason for everything! He loves me for me. He didn’t give a damn what his mother or his friends or anyone else said when he chose me! I wasn’t supposed to have to watch him die."

Peta took a good look at her son. He was coming undone, no longer the well-educated man that she had raised. He was a scared little boy and her heart cried out to him. A part of her wanted to ask ‘do you want Michael to go through this’ but it would be totally be uncalled for to say such a thing. Instead she took him in her arms and told him she’d do whatever she could to make him better. He cried but he felt better, happy his mother was there for him.

Justin hadn’t realized that they must have given him a sedative. As he walked into Brian’s room and sat in the big chair beside his bed, he had drifted off to sleep. Before he knew it he was being shaken awake by a madman.

"What the fuck?" he shouted, before his eyes adjusted to the lighting.

"Happened to you?" Brian whispered

"What happened to me? You were starving yourself and you…."

Justin was about to tear Brian a new one but he remember what his mother said about given Brian some of his old self back.

"Brian, I was in a car accident. I shouldn’t be here. I have a concussion and I broke my arm in two places."

Justin couldn’t help but smile at how soft the expression on Brian’s face had become. He slid over on the bed and patted the side for Justin to come in. He obliged and climbed in beside him.

"Are you alright?"

"I have a room right down the hall but you know I don’t like hospitals. Can I stay here with you?"

"I’m sorry. Didn’t want you to hear?… I sound funny."

"It’s okay. We’ll keep practicing and you’ll get better and even if you don’t get better whatever you are it’ll be okay cause we’ll be together."

"Justin?"

"What is it Brian?"

"You were with Michael. Is he okay?"

LINDSAY’S POV

The silence was fucking killing me. I came down from my shower and Melanie had already put Gus to bed and now we are lying in our bed in complete silence. Could I tell her? Could I really tell her about Brian? Maybe it would get her to back off and then we could band together and help him.

"Mel, there’s something I have to tell you."

"I fucking knew it. Who is she?"

Lindsay was about to finally pour her heart out to someone and have someone to confide in about Brian but the phone rang.

Melanie didn’t know what to think. Lindsay’s face was hard to read while she was on the phone. There were a lot of ‘yeses’ and ‘nos’ and ‘oh mys’. Her telephone manner alone was about to make me go into labor and then she hung up.

"Lindsay, what’s gong on?"

"Melanie get dressed. Something has happened to Michael."

Brian slid from the bed. They really had given Justin some strong stuff and he was thankful for that. He put on his slippers and put his hoodie over his head because it was seriously cold in there. When he got to his feet he steadied himself. He was a man on a mission. He had to get to find Michael.

Everyone at the hospital knew him by now so they didn’t even stop him as he roamed the halls. They knew he couldn’t sleep sometimes and he was just walking around getting some air. Then he reached the ICU and he was saved by Sarah who was behind the desk.

"Hey Sarah, what room is Michael Novotny in?"

"Brian, when did you get back here? Are you alright?"

"Sarah, I’m fine, just a little anemic. Michael Novotny?"

"Oh no, that’s your Michael isn’t it? We really don’t quite understand why he hasn’t woken up yet. He’s in the third room on the left but his partner is there."

"Oh that’s fine. Big Ben and I are old friends. Thanks. Don’t let anyone know I’m here."

Brian walked into the room and he saw Michael lying on the bed. Ben was in the chair at the foot of the bed with his head on it. He was sound asleep. Brian tried to think about how he would feel if he was in Ben's situation. How he felt when it was Justin. Ben must be terrified, he knew he was not to long ago. He wouldn’t stay long. He just had to touch him.

Brian walked up and slowly stroked Michael’s hair.

"Mikey?" he cried.

He looked at the bed. There was room enough for him. He felt weak and he thought he might pass out so he climbed in and nuzzled closely to Michael. He still smelt like his Mikey and before he knew it he was sound asleep.

Ben was awakened by the bed moving. He looked up expecting to see those eyes that he knew and loved so well, but that didn’t happen. He was startled because some guy was in the bed of the man he loved. This guy was tall, bulky but muscular. Then he noticed the hand that was holding him tight. There was a tattoo, a tattoo he knew well. It said the simplest word ‘RESIST.’ It was Brian. No one had seen him in almost two months.

He noticed an IV was running from Brian’s hand and that he wore a hospital bracelet. He also took in the fact that Brian wore an oversized hoodie and sweat pants. Clearly if he was on business somewhere and came to see Michael, he wouldn’t look like this. He also noticed that his breathing was erratic and that alarmed him because they were in a hospital. Maybe there was something wrong with Brian.

"Brian?" Ben asked.

Ben had to hold back the gasp when he saw Brian. The hood fell from Brian’s had and his hair was only about ten, maybe fifteen auburn spikes. It was a good look but nothing he thought he would ever see on Brian. His neck was thicker than it used to be but his chest was well-toned. He was bulkier but it didn’t match his fatter face. His face was chubby which made his nose seem smaller. It reminded him a lot of the older pictures he had seen of Brian and Michael in their apartment. He couldn’t help but be shocked when he saw the huge scar that was on Brian’s neck.

Brian was shocked that someone had seen him there, but he knew that he had to apologize because it was wrong for him to be in the bed with Michael.

"I’m sorry." Brian put his hand over his mouth because no sound came out when he said this and it frightened him.

Ben couldn’t understand what Brian had attempted to say. But he knew he was obviously shocked when nothing came out because he covered his mouth and his eyes widened on his newly-rounded face. Ben couldn’t help think that Brian was sort of adorable - a word that he never thought he’d use to describe Brian.

"Brian, what the fuck happened to you?"

"I have cancer." Brian mouthed but he knew from the puzzled look on Ben’s face that he had no idea what he even said.