Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Author's Chapter Notes:
A Simple Chapter that i hope you guys like.

MELANIE POV

Melanie Marcus sat in her office looking at the framed picture on her desk. It was a family portrait and for the longest time she said she hated it. She was thrilled with Lindsay’s idea until he showed up for the family portrait session in his best ‘Armani’ suit with a hateful smirk on his face. He only did it to be mean. He didn’t really want to be a part of Gus’s life. He just did little things to get on my nerves. Lindsay invited him out of courtesy but he came just to spite me. Her assistant brought in some papers and there was a note attached to the first batch that gave her a funny feeling.

"Dear Melanie

I’m going out of town for a while and I will be unreachable. If it’s a real emergency contact Justin and he will know where to find me. I’m away on business. Don’t worry. With the Trust that I set up for Gus he should be okay. I’ll still be sending the monthly check only they’ll be delivered by Justin, instead of me.

Enclosed are the changes to my will. As my lawyer it’s your job to make sure that they are taken care of. You can’t tell anyone what’s in this letter or I’ll have your ass. So I’ll just tell you that there’s some changes that have to be made but they’re not the changes that you assume. I’m not dying. Well, at least not anytime soon so cancel that party. So make the changes. Got it!

Now on to new business. I want to set up another Trust Fund for your kid. Don’t get all happy because I’m not doing this for you or your kid, I’m doing it for Mikey. He works hard and he’ll do all that he can but in the end he won’t be able to provide for the kid like he wants. So this is my gift. You can tell him and only him. If he chooses to tell anyone then that’s up to him, but for now it doesn’t go past him. Got it?

Now for the shock of the century! I want to say something to you. This is also between client and attorney, but hey, who would believe you if you told them. Right? Thank you. Gus is a great kid and I know that it’s because of you and Lindz. I drop in from time to time and I give him my money but I know that I did the right thing in giving him to you. You made sure that he didn’t turn out like me and I know you’ll always do that. Thanks. You’re a great dad.

And close your mouth!

Brian A Kinney"

Melanie indeed had to close her mouth after reading this. What the fuck was going on? There was really something wrong with Brian but it wasn’t what she thought. She picked up her phone and dialed Lindsay’s number. It went straight to voice mail. She thought to herself that maybe when Lindsay got back, she would finally have her answers.

Lindsay sat in the back booth of the diner trying to calm herself. She knew she must look nuts because she knew she was crying. She looked around and thank god for small favors, none of the gang or Debbie seemed to be there. What was she going to do? Brian had cancer. Her Brian, the father of her child, her life, the only man she ever loved. The only man she could ever love. What was going to happen now? She had to keep this secret. She wouldn’t tell a soul but nothing was going to stop her from being there for Brian. Nothing.

When Brian opened his eyes he was startled because he didn’t know where he was. He looked around at his surroundings and found that he was home but he wasn’t in his bed. He looked down and saw that it was the bed that Claire had ordered for him. It was huge - just like she said it would be. He turned to his left and asleep beside him was Justin. He wasn’t even afraid of the stoma or the IV. He was curled up around him. Not like he normally was when he’d wake up and Justin would be snuggled up to him, resting on his chest. One of Justin’s arms was wrapped securely around his waist and he had slid up in the bed and had Brian’s head cradled under his neck. He was holding him and that made Brian happy.

Claire came around the corner with the essentials she would need to help Brian with his bath. He had slept all day which she supposed was good. The ambulance ride back to the loft was made without them being noticed by any neighbors. Brian had a back entrance to the building so no-one knew that he had arrived by ambulance. She walked over and he was awake, looking around.

"Good afternoon, sleepyhead, or should I say good evening."

Brian took the notepad from beside the bed and wrote: "What time is it?"

"It’s around ten. Now I’m going to help you with your bath or would you prefer Justin to do it?"

"How long has he been asleep?"

"About an hour, but I’m supposed to wake him when you’re awake. How do you feel?"

"What happened?"

"The mass was bigger than expected and they had to cut deeper. That’s why you have the stoma but tomorrow I’ll remove the tubing. You still won’t be able to talk until it heals."

"Will I be able to talk when this is over? I thought I was supposed to meet with the doctor?"

"You are. She’s going to make a house call tonight."

"Kind of late, don’t you think?"

"She only agreed for you to be in my care at home if you got plenty of rest. Now be honest with me, how do you feel?"

"It hurts but I don’t want him to know."

"Well, let me give you something to help with that problem and you can rest for a while. Give me that. No more writing for you."

When Claire walked back with the syringe and she put it in the IV Brian smiled and mouthed "thank you."

"Anytime, little brother."

PETA’S POV

Peta looked at her watch. She was supposed to be at the old warehouse over on Tremont forty minutes ago but she was waiting on Michael. He had agreed to meet her at the hospice but here he was being late. She would show him Ander and explain a few things to him and then he’d understand where she was coming from and he’d leave. She looked through the glass window leading into Ander’s room. Anderson Brookes had a few more months to live but he hadn’t lost his looks and was still handsome. How could he be so careless and let this happen to him? God! If he would have just stayed with her that last time….

"Why am I here, Mrs. Bruckner?"

"Michael. I was almost afraid that you weren’t going to show. We don’t have much time."

"What’s going on? Are you sick?"

"Michael, do you see that man in there?"

Michael looked through the window and was stunned at what he saw. He knew that face. That was the face of Anderson Bruckner but he was dead. Right?

"What the hell is going on here?"

"That’s Anderson and he’s Ben’s father. He will tell you why you need to leave his son."

"Excuse me? Have we not had this discussion already?"

"Give him ten minutes of your time and I promise when it’s over I’ll be done with it."

"Really?"

"After he explains everything to you and when this is all over you still want to be with Ben, then I’m fine with it."

"Okay, fine. Let’s go."

"You go on in. There somewhere else I have to be. I’ll be back, though."

MELANIE’S POV

Melanie didn’t know where to begin. She wanted to tell Lindsay about what Brian had told her but she couldn’t because it was privileged. She did want her to know that she was going to back off for a while. He couldn’t be too sick if he was going away on business. She could tell Lindz that part. Maybe that would help her feel better and she would let her know if she had found anything out. She slid beneath the covers with her lover and tried to start a conversation.

"I’m glad that you decided to stay here tonight."

"Where else was there to go? Gus didn’t like the hotel too much."

"I talked to Brian today. He’s going away on business."

"When did you talk to Brian? How did he sound?"

"I didn’t really talk to him. He sent me a message."

"What’s the matter, babe?"

"Nothing, Mel. I was just trying to get in touch with him today and couldn’t, that’s all."

"Well, I’m glad that you’re here. There’s always tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow." Lindsay whispered as she snuggled closer to her wife, trying her best not to cry.

PETA’S POV

Peta Bruckner had never heard of something as unorthodox as this - a house call to someone’s house at almost midnight. Well, the midnight was her fault but he understood and told her to come right over. He would be shocked because his doctor was a ‘Peter Lopez’ as far as he knew. But she always practiced under her maiden name and her name was mistakenly written as ‘Peter’ when it was ‘Peta.’ Their mistake. What she thought was crazy was that the guy’s name was ‘Jordan Meyers.’ When she first looked over the papers on the plane that name meant nothing but now she knew that it was the real name of ‘Captain Astro.’ So it was obviously an alias. When she realized where this person lived she thought that there may be an actor behind this door. Would she see him from this moment on television and think ‘I saved his life’? I gave Brad Pitt his voice back." That would be so cool. She waited for the door to open and when it did she could only say the first thing that came out of her mouth. "Oh shit."

"Oh shit." Those words had slipped from Justin’s mouth when he saw who was on the other side.

"Mrs Bruckner, can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, I must have the wrong place. I’m supposed to be meeting a ‘Jordan Meyers’ here."

"Dr. Peter Lopez?"

"Yeah, talk about typos."

"Everything you say and do here is confidential. Right? I mean, you can’t go back and tell who you’ve seen here or what you’ve done?"

"Of course not. What’s going on?"

Peta was pulled inside by Justin only to spot the one and only Brian Kinney, sleeping soundly in the biggest hospital bed she had ever seen. She thought to herself how so much made sense now - the way he carried himself, the speech problem and the ‘Jordan Meyers’ reference. God, she had to save the best friend of her son’s boyfriend. She had to and she would now that she understood.

Michael was on edge and afraid. He was very afraid. It had been two days since Ben’s mother had taken him to that hospice and he had met Ben’s father. Ben’s dead father. How had all of this happened so fast? At the beginning of the month he was keeping the secret that he was HIV negative and here he was now keeping the secret that his lover’s dead father wasn’t dead. He wasn’t dead. He’d seen pictures of Ben in his ‘funeral suit’ on the day of the funeral. How the heck was he going to keep this secret? He wasn’t his mother and sure as hell wasn’t Brian. Lying just didn’t come that easily to him. Yeah, the truth would be out soon.

"I’m sorry, Ben. Did you say something?"

"Yeah, you’ve been weird the past couple of days. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, did Brian ever return my phone call?"

"No, but I saw Justin yesterday. He said he was in Georgia on business."

"Oh well, I better get to work."

"See you later."

Michael practically ran from the place. Oh yeah, it wouldn’t be long now. He was a shit for lying.

"You did what!"

"I told him that what he had with Ben was real and that he should fight for it."

"Are you getting a kick out of ripping out my heart, Ander?"

"I’m not doing that Peta and are you going to even tell him I’m here?"

"I don’t know. You preach about how I shouldn’t be with you. You have fifty thousand reasons why but when I send in Michael for you to share them with, all of a sudden you want him to fight."

"What he and Benji have is different from what we have."

"You’re right. It is. Michael loves Ben but I’m starting to believe that you just enjoy playing with my emotions."

"Peta, I love you. But I’m a deadbeat. I’m a moron. I’m not a good man. I’m dying and you don’t need to be here holding my hand. I don’t deserve that."

"Do you think I’m just supposed to cut the love off? I just can’t stop loving you because you tell me to?"

"No, you can’t. Now ask yourself. Do you think Ben can stop loving Michael because he’s healthy?"

"There’s someplace I have to be. I have to go."

"Good and stop coming here. If you’re going to tell Benji then come back with him, but if you’re not, forget my address."

"I love you too, Ander."

JUSTIN’S POV

Okay. I just have to keep telling myself that I can do this because I can. So he’s upset. They cut a hole in his neck and now he may never speak again. Hell, I’d be upset too. It’s only right for him to be upset. So he threw a couple of things, broke a couple of things and wrote me a very long, threatening note. But do you realize that it’s hard for a letter to be threatening? In the old days Brian could just raise an eyebrow and scare me shitless but now he doesn’t even bother. Do you know how hard it is to pretend that a threatening note has you scared? Nope, it just doesn’t hold the same horror in it.

"Did that make you feel better?"

"What the fuck do you think?" Brian scribbled on a piece of paper.

"If you don’t at least try it then the feeding tube stays.

"It fucking tastes like shit!" he mouthed quickly but I could still read his lips.

"Listen. I know what this is all about. I know it hurts but it’s going to get better."

"Yeah, sure it is. It’ll get better and then I’ll die."

"No! You’re going great with the radiation. I mean look at you. You haven’t vomited since you’ve been back."

Right on cue Brian ran for the bathroom and began to vomit. Justin hated to see it. Vomiting was always a strain on the throat but having just had surgery, every heave strains the muscles and the chords trying to heal. Sometimes a little blood might come up but I’m used to that by now. Sometimes he cries. Now that’s what gets to me.

"Look at me!" Brian thought. "I’m fucking disgusting. I’m throwing up in the toilet while my lover stands here with a wet wash cloth. I know that I disgust him. I want him to leave. God! I just wish he’d open the door and run for the hills, but if he did that I think I’d roll over and die. He’s why I’m going through this. He and Gus are my everything. I do this for him. If I look up and he’s crying I’m not going to be able to take it! I haven’t seen him cry yet but he has to be crying right?

Brian looked up and all he saw on Justin’s face was concern. He flushed, and then he took the cloth that he was holding and wiped his brow and his neck. It felt so good ‘cause the cloth was so cold, and he was so hot.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes" Brian mouthed and he gave Justin a smile.

"Come on. I’ll help you to bed and you can try the soup before Claire comes back and forces it down your throat."

Brian thought about that for a minute and he knew she would do it.

"Okay." he said

Justin helped his lover off the floor and into bed. He kissed him and watched him relax on the pillows. He could do this. He could so take care of his man.

 

 

 

 

 

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