Brian’s POV
Allegheny General Hospital, Pittsburg, PA
Sunday April 9, 2006 10:42 PM

When I arrived at the hospital I found Nathan prowling the waiting room like a caged tiger. There were cops at the front desk, cops talking to Nathan and my heart was pounding in my chest.

The Policeman with Nathan was young, probably fresh out of the academy. He was seated in one of the uncomfortable plastic seats that despite being in the waiting room, did not invite you to do so.

“Mr. Harrington, can you tell me anything else about the man who attacked Mr. Honeycutt? An identifying mark or tattoo?” the policeman was asking as I approached.

“He may not, but I can tell you. I know who attacked Mr. Honeycutt. I want to speak to the officer in charge,” I demanded.

“Brian!” Nathan sounded relieved. He sat down as the officer scampered off to find the man in charge. I sat next to Nathan; he was leaning on his knees with his head in his hands. Nathan’s long, strong back was bowed and I hesitated for a moment before gently rubbing it, feeling the tension in his muscles. In the months since I’d hired him, Nathan had become a good friend.

“What happened, Nathan? What did they say?” I asked softly. I was aware of how Nathan felt about Emmett, hell we all were. Well, except Emmett. I knew the hell of watching someone you cared about be so close to death’s door.

Through his hands he answered me, “Some guy was beating the shit out of him behind Babylon. He was unconscious when I found him, although…for a moment I think he woke up and smiled at me. They say he’s pretty beat up, broken ribs, and broken bones. His shoulder is pretty torn up. They’ve got him in surgery now…internal injuries…” Nathan shook his head, “Thank God I was there, Brian. I think that sick fuck would have killed him. There was…so much blood.”

I nodded my head, “I think you’re right.”

Nathan looked up then, his blue eyes wet with unshed tears. “How do you know this guy, Brian?” Nathan’s voice was ragged.

“He’s Calvin’s ex boyfriend. I’ve been…looking into Calvin’s past,” I explained, telling Nathan about the information I’d found out.

Nathan was back to pacing, “Jesus Christ, Brian. You should have told me. I would have watched out for him.”

“I told him, Nathan. As soon as I found out the fucker called Calvin, I told Emmett.” I said softly. “He didn’t want to admit that there was a problem. And the lazy ass of a PI wasn’t keeping tracking of the phone calls like I’d asked. The call was placed two weeks ago and he just got around to calling me tonight.”

“Oh, Emmett,” Nathan whispered.

“Excuse me, which one of you asked to see me? My name is Officer Bryant, I’m in charge here.” He was younger than Carl, forty maybe, with dark eyes and hair and a commanding presence.

“Brian Kinney,” I said, shaking his hand.

“Mr. Kinney, my officer said that you knew the identity of the man who assaulted Mr. Honeycutt. Is this true?”

“It is. His name is Adam Stevens. He was an ex boyfriend of Mr. Honeycutt’s boyfriend, Calvin Culpepper. I’m friends with Mr. Honeycutt and I had his boyfriend investigated. Officer Bryant raised his eyebrow but remained silent as he listened.

“The PI exposed an abusive relationship in his past that hadn’t really ended. I was having Adam watched,” I explained the situation to Officer Bryant, giving as much detail as I could.

“Thank you, Mr. Kinney, I’d like to bring in your PI and see what he’s collected and I’d like you to stop by the station tomorrow with what you’ve amassed so far. We’ll start with what you’ve got. Mr. Harrington, if you could accompany Mr. Kinney we can see if the face of this Adam Stevens matches up with who you saw tonight.

We agreed to meet Officer Bryant at two the next afternoon and he hurried out of the waiting room. Nathan sighed into a chair and we sat in silence for what seemed like forever. I remembered sitting in that very hospital, waiting on pins and needles for some word of Justin, an indication of whether he would live or die. Michael had been with me for every grueling moment. I’m not even sure if he went home to sleep. I don’t remember much from those hours of my life. Three days of the deepest hell I’d ever been in. But Justin had lived, he’d survived, thrived. And I refused to believe that Emmett would do anything less. Emmett was strong. Despite my teasing and eye rolling, I had a deep respect for Emmett.

“Did you call Ted and Michael?” I asked softly.

“Fuck! No, I…” Nathan exclaimed, reaching into the pocket of his grey trousers, fishing for his phone.

“It’s all right, I got it.” I said and opened mine. The calls were difficult and quick. But the chain had begun. Soon the waiting room would be filled with our family.

I don’t know if it had been my constant inner chanting all those years ago, that had saved Justin’s life – or Michael’s life just over a year ago.

“Please don’t let him die, please don’t let him die…”

Or if it had been a collective effort. But I wasn’t willing to risk it. Let them come, let them pray and rage and cry. Let them be a family and let Emmett live.

Justin’s POV
Allegheny General Hospital, Pittsburg, PA
Monday April 10, 2006 2:38 AM

The smell was horrible, I’d lived and breathed that smell for entirely too fucking long. I hated to even step foot in that antiseptic hall of ineptitude. But I felt a gentle nudge. I was supposed to be here for Emmett’s sake….for Brian’s sake. He was the only person that I knew hated hospitals just as much as me.

I found my way to the waiting room, unable to keep from smiling when I heard the buzz of chatter from down the hall. Our family had descended upon Allegheny General once again. I thought perhaps they should give us our own wing. Standing at the door, I watched them. Everyone was there but Lindsay, Mel and the kids and I smiled. Deb, Carl, Ted, Blake, My Mom and Molly, Brian, Michael, Daphne and the newest member of the family, Nathan. Calvin wasn’t there, but then I didn’t really expect him to be. I watched My Mom speaking quietly with Deb. Daphne was looking out the window and talking with a few of Emmett’s friends from the clubs and Molly was asleep in the chair beside Brian, her head cradled on his chest, his arm around her. I marveled at them, my little adoptive family so seamlessly meshed with my own flesh and blood.

Brian’s eyes were the first to find me and he smiled wearily. I returned his smile and held his gaze, almost afraid to call attention to myself. I could see the strain and stress of the last few hours on his handsome face and I wanted to take him into my arms and comfort him.

But the sound of Deb’s shrill “Sunshine!” echoed in the little room and I felt myself dragged into her arms instead.

But I was happy to be there too, surrounded by our dysfunctional family.

“Sweetheart, you’re here,” my Mom hugged me close and I hugged her back.

“I caught the earliest flight I could find,” I said, accepting and giving hugs all around. Molly had woken up so Brian stood and with a gentle squeeze to Nathan’s shoulder he came to me finally, and kissed me softly on the cheek before wrapping his arms around me.

“You showered,” he whispered in my ear and I smiled.

“I stank,” I whispered.

“Of me.”

“The person sitting next to me on the plane wouldn’t really have seen it that way.”

Brian laughed and hugged me tighter.

“I need coffee,” he growled.

“We’re making a coffee run!” he announced and grabbed me by the hand. We were out the door and down the hall when we heard, “He just got here ya little ass hole! And you had all weekend to fuck his brains out!”

Brian laughed, “Leave it to Deb to be so subtle.”

“So, how’s Emmett?” I asked.

He sighed, “Cigarette first…then talk…then coffee.”

“Okay.”

“Emmett has some internal damage that they’re trying to repair. They’re optimistic,” Brian shrugged and was silent as we slipped out of the hospital and into the crisp night air. I breathed deeply, filling my lungs, purging the stench of chemicals and fear.

“Do you have any idea how much I hated that word, after your bashing?” Brian asked. “That’s all they could say.”

“What word?” I asked.

“Optimistic.”

Brian lit a cigarette and pulled me into the circle of his arms, I breathed him in, reveled in his warmth.

“How do you know what they said? You stayed as far away from the hospital as you could,” I said, feeling the cold, dark specter of that memory.

Brian was silent as he puffed on his cigarette and I immediately regretted bringing it up. I knew how much he hurt, that he couldn’t handle seeing me like that and how much guilt he still harbored no matter how much I tried to convince him that it hadn’t been his fault Chris Hobbs was a homophobic closet case set out to make me regret ever making him come. If truth be told, if Brian was to blame then so was I. I’m the one who pushed, called him out in front of his friends. Of course Chris was the one who should be punished; he lost control, made the choice to be violent that night. But I certainly hadn’t helped matters. Brian had been right that night on the steps of Woody’s – I’d made my self an enemy. It had almost cost me my life.

I looked up into Brian’s face. I knew how much my getting bashed had hurt him, how he hated my missing memories. I’d always gotten the impression from Brian that we had been on the verge of something that night…and Hobbs had taken that away with the swing of his bat. I knew how much Brian hurt. But I still wondered why he’d never come to see me.

“Why, Brian? Why didn’t you come?” I whispered. I didn’t really expect an answer. In my heart I thought it was something that he regretted. But I asked anyway.

“I came,” his voice was small and guarded.

I looked up at him, confused. He smiled thinly and cupped the back of my head, gently stroking my cheek with his thumb.

“When you were in the coma….I never left, I stayed here for three days. When you woke up, I came every single fucking night…after everyone left. I stayed in the hallway, watching you sleep and got updates from the nurses. They were always very optimistic,” he was watching his thumb move across my skin, not looking me in the eye. With my fingertip I turned his face and our eyes met.

I was trying so hard not to be angry, not to let this be about more that the admission of his vigil. But I couldn’t help but wonder how things might have been different had I known.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugged and pulled away. I missed his warmth but wanted to give him space.

“Your Mom, mostly…at first. She found out about my visits. You know she asked me not to see you,” he said, pacing and I nodded.

“She told me she knew I’d been to see you but that she didn’t tell you because she knew it was driving you to work hard, to get better. I tried to make that my reason. I tried to tell myself that it was for your own good but I realized that was bullshit. Christ, Justin, I was not…good then…I never…never told you about the night of my Birthday.” Brian was turned away, looking out at the sea of cars. “I almost killed myself. ‘Go out like one the greats’. That’s what I told Mikey when he found me.”

Brian actually laughed, and all I could do, was stare horrified at his back. “He fucking told me off, I’d never seen him have bigger balls.” Brian took a puff of his cigarette and sighed, voice sober again, “The scarf…I wanted the ultimate come…to go out with my youth and my legend. Mikey found me tied to the rafter, stroking my dick on top of the chair…so close…” Brian’s voice broke and he tossed the cigarette to the ground and crushed it beneath his boot.

“When I came around the next day I realized just how close I’d come to making the biggest mistake of my life…and…that’s when I decided to go to your prom. I wanted to make the instrument of my almost death into a good memory. And instead, I took yours away.”

“Brian,” I breathed, but he interrupted me.

“When you were hurt I had never felt more helpless and guilty. I couldn’t let you see me like that. And that selfish reason is why I never told you, every other reason was bullshit.”

“Why tell me now…after all this time?” I asked.

He shrugged, “Because you asked…because it bothered you. Because I could.”

I smiled and wrapped my arms around myself and was grateful that he could now. That he trusted in my love enough to know that his heart was safe.

I wanted to touch him but he looked so fragile standing there, lighting another cigarette. Tentatively, I approached him, walked around him so that I could see his face. All of his emotions were laid bare for me; he didn’t hide behind his cultured mask of indifference. Brian let me see everything - his guilt and pain, his fear and self loathing. And I loved him more then, for letting me in…trusting me, for finally finding the words.

~~~~~

Overloaded with coffee cups in carriers, Brian and I entered the waiting room, “The coffee’s for shit, but it’s high-test and hot,” Brian announced as we sat the carriers on one of the tables covered in magazines.

“There you are!” Debbie screeched, “While you two were in a janitor’s closet somewhere, Emmett came out of surgery and is already in his room. He’s asking for you, Brian.”

Brian glanced at me and took my hand, “Come on.”

“They said one at a time!’ Debbie argued.

“Then Justin can sit on my lap!” Brian growled and pulled me down the hall to the nurses’ station.

“Excuse me, we’re looking for Emmett Honeycutt’s room,” he said to the little red headed nurse manning the desk.

She smiled warmly and stood up, barely reaching my shoulders. “Certainly, Sir, and your name is?”

“Brian Kinney.”

“Are you on the list?”

“I made the fucking list.”

“Now, Sir, there is no need to get hostile. Yes, here you are, Brian Kinney.”

The nurse looked at me and smiled, “Your name?”

Brian was getting impatient, “Don’t you think that if I’m the one who made the list, I would be accompanied by someone who is on the list?”

“It’s Justin Taylor, Ma’am,” I answered, thinking it would just go faster if we cooperated.

“Thank you, Sweetie. Here you are right here. But I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait until Mr. Kinney is done. Doctor’s orders, only one guest at a time.”

“I’m sorry…” Brian peered at the nurses’ name tag, “Lisa….but ‘Sweetie’ is coming with me.”

Nurse Lisa’s face clouded, “Please, Mr. Kinney. The rules are in place for your friend’s protection. Just like the list.”

I felt Brian’s hand clench mine and knew his patience had worn out.

“I’m sorry, Lisa, what my handsome partner here isn’t telling you is that I came all the way from New York to see my friend Emmett and to be with Brian when he saw him. You see…Brian is terribly afraid of hospitals,” I said with a warm smile. “I’m sure you can understand how this might be hard for him. And that someone as kind and understanding as you seem...if we promise to keep it short and stay quiet, do you think we could break the rules just this one time?”

Lisa blushed and smiled back at me, “I…I suppose it would be all right,” she said, looking around. Then her green eyes landed sternly on Brian. “If you’re quiet and keep it short. Mr. Honeycutt’s room is through the doors, down the hall and to your left, number 107,” she instructed.

“Mr. Schmidt is with him now, but he’s been asking for you. Just knock quietly to let him know you’re there.”
I tried hard not to giggle as Brian looked at me then back to Lisa. Before he could say another word, I thanked Nurse Lisa and dragged Brian down the hall while she buzzed us through.

“What the fuck?” he asked when the heavy doors closed behind us.

“Haven’t you ever heard of the old adage that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?” I asked.

Brian made a face but kept walking. Emmett’s door was closed and Brian was about to knock but I couldn’t help but tease him.

“Quietly!” I mock whispered. He rolled his eyes but knocked softly.

A moment later Ted answered the door, “Hey guys,” he said and ushered us into Emmett’s dimly lit room.

“Look who’s here, Em, Brian and Justin came to see you,” Ted said cheerily….a little over the top.

I sobered when I saw him – bandaged and looking very frail. But his eyes lit up when he saw me.

“Hey Baby…don’t tell me you came all the way home just for little old me,” Emmett said, voice raspy and weak. I smiled and went to his side.

“Of course I did. How are you feeling, Em?”

“Okay,” Emmett said then glanced at Brian. “Like an ass,” his eyes fell to where our hands were joined.

Ted got up, “Well…I’ll leave you in Brian and Justin’s capable hands, Em,” he said uncomfortably and fussed with Emmett’s blankets; he made sure Emmett’s water glass was full then gently touched his other hand. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Teddy,” Emmett said with a little smile.

Ted nodded at Brian and I then took his leave.

“I’m sorry, Brian,” Emmett said as the door closed. “And before you tell me sorry is bullshit…look at my face and tell me I’m not sorry.”

“Yeah,” Brian said softly, with a little smirk, “you do look pretty sorry.”

Emmett huffed a little laugh and winced in pain. Brian came to my side and sat in the little chair so Emmett didn’t have to look up.

“But now isn’t time for lame speeches and lamentations. What’s done is done.”

Emmett shook his head slowly, his eyes closed, obviously growing tired, “Should have believed you…listened.”

Brian’s tongue strayed to his cheek and he shrugged, “What’s important now is that you do what you do best, Emmy Lou. Get fucking fabulous…and leave the rest to me.”

“The rest?”

“Yes, you are on lock down right now. Which means that no one gets in to see you without Nurse Lisa giving them the pat down,” Brian said and I snorted. “Although, she’s a softie for blonds with sunshine smiles…but she’s thorough,” he said with a glance at me.

“No one has called Calvin…we didn’t know how you’d want to handle him. But I can call him if you like,” I offered.

Emmett looked away and pursed his lips, “Will you call him, Baby?” he said, eye lids fluttering, I nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, Em…I’ll call him.”

Brian took that lightly, I had been expecting him to protest. He didn’t trust Calvin. But he didn’t say a word and I was grateful.

“Nathan and I are going to the police tomorrow with all of the evidence against this guy. We would really appreciate Calvin talking to them too…making a statement of his own,” Brian’s voice was tight and I knew he expected Calvin to bail. He hadn’t thrown the book at Adam yet… would he do it for Emmett?

Emmett nodded, “I’ll talk to him when he comes. I’m just…so tired…” he said, sadness in his eyes.

I looked at Brian and he nodded, time to go.

“We’re gonna let you rest, Em. But call us if you need anything and we’ll be back tomorrow. I’ll be here for a few days at least. I might as well visit now that I’m home,” I said with a smile and he smiled back faintly.

“I’m glad you’re here, Justin,” Emmett’s eyes sought Brian’s, “Thank you.”

“Just get some rest,” Brian’s voice was gruff but he gently took Emmett’s hand and squeezed, “you really look like shit.”

Emmett laughed and winced again just as someone knocked at the door. Nathan was there with expectant eyes that quickly found Emmett’s. I couldn’t help but notice how Emmett’s face lit up when Nathan took his hand.

On our way out the door I smiled when I heard Emmett call Nathan his hero.


Adam’s POV
Sleep Well Motel, Pittsburg, PA
Sunday April 10, 2006 11:05 AM
Earlier that Night…..

I was pacing the room, high on adrenaline and covered in that stupid fucker’s blood. I didn’t want to wash it off. I felt powerful…I’d been hard since I had to leave him there – alive.

Mother fucking asshole had to walk out into the alley. I was so close to kicking the life right out of Mr. Emmett fucking Honeycutt. I ran my hand over the front of my jeans. I needed to get off. But an empty come in a seedy motel wasn’t going to cut it. I needed release...relief. I reluctantly took off my shirt but not before smearing some blood on my chest. I laughed. The chosen trick for the night would get a surprise when I took off my shirt. But by then, he’d be so high on the shit I pour in his drink he won’t give a fuck.

As I made myself presentable I formulated my next steps. I would wait for Calvin. I would talk to him and make him realize that I was the only one who would ever make him happy. And then we’d both make Emmett pay for coming between us. I smiled as I watched his blood swirl down the sink drain.

Hurrying out the door I opted for the nearest gay bar. I didn’t want to be out too late, I’d have to be at the hospital early to make sure I didn’t miss Calvin when he came to see his boy toy.


Brian’s POV
The Loft, Pittsburg, PA
Monday April 10, 2006 5:00 AM

We drove home in silence, my hand on his thigh and his hand on mine. It had been a long fucking night and we were exhausted. When we got home I stripped as I headed to the shower and he silently followed me. I took my time, washing his body, gently cleaning the stench of the hospital from his skin. He leaned into my touch and allowed me to sooth him. I washed his hair and he leaned back into me, eyes closed as the steamy water beat against his chest. He’d always loved the shower head in the loft bathroom, said it was the perfect strength of spray.

When he was clean I let him bathe me, luxuriating in his strong, nimble fingers and warm skin against my back. He was hard and could feel the throb of his erection against my ass. But I wasn’t in any hurry. I let him pamper me for awhile before his attention turned to my erection.

I pulled him into my arms and kissed him, teasing nibbles and laps of my tongue at first, then deeper, filling him full of my tongue. I could feel his body pressed to mine and I pulled him closer, our cocks sliding together. When I heard him whimper I slowly pulled away and with a final kiss to his nose I turned off the water.

Justin smiled when I dried him, rubbing the towel over his hair, making him laugh.

Justin climbed in bed and I went through the loft, turning off lights and setting the alarm. He was on his back when I returned, skin glowing in the opal light above the bed. I moved to turn it off but he asked me not to.

“I’ve always liked the lights…it’s…comforting,” he said softly.

I crawled in bed beside him and he automatically rolled into my arms. He was silent for a moment and I breathed in the clean scent of him.

“I love you,” he whispered. There was so much in those three little words and I heard every bit of it. Acceptance, faith, the regret of his lost memories, what could have been, but mostly what I heard was Justin’s love for me and what we had found in each other’s arms. After everything that we’d gone through, here we were – together.

“I love you too,” I breathed into his ear.

Justin smiled and touched his nose to mine then kissed me softly. I felt his teeth gently bite my bottom lip and my half hard cock began to swell. I relaxed into his kiss, his teasing lips and sensual tongue. His skin was heated from the shower and trembled beneath my touch. I marveled that after all this time I could still make him tremble with desire but then quickly lost all thought when his hand closed around my cock.

I groaned and pushed my hips forward, needing more of him.

“Justin,” I whispered his name and his lips quirked against mine before he kissed a trail down my chest, lapping at my nipples, sucking on my skin…marking me. I felt the heat of his breath against the taut skin of my dick and I moaned, needing inside. The warmth of his mouth was heaven as he swallowed me and I moaned, suddenly in a hurry.

I cradled his head in my hands as he worked my cock with his mouth, threading my fingers through the silk of his hair. My hips moved and he let me fuck his mouth, taking me down his throat, moaning around my cock. I was ready to come…needed to come…but he pulled back and I groaned.

I almost told him to put the fucking condom away when he got it out but I refrained from being selfish and watched as he put it on me and stroked lube down my shaft. I loved to watch him fuck himself on my dick. He was wild…erotic and beautiful as he impaled himself, face etched with the pain…the pleasure. When he started to move on me I bent my knees to give him leverage and he closed his eyes. With his lips parted, ass so tight around my dick, I couldn’t help but grasp his hips and push up into him. I loved the moan that escaped his lips when my cock head stroked over his prostate so I did it again…and again.

“Brian!” he groaned, the flats of his palms on my chest while I reached for his cock. I needed to feel his dick in my hand; his come on my fingers, and wondered if he’d lap it from my lips after I licked them clean.

“Fuck! Justin! Now!” I demanded and his whispered response was all it took.

“Yes…”


Justin’s POV
The Loft, Pittsburg, PA
Monday April 10, 2006 11:26 AM

You can dance-every dance with the guy who gives you the eye, let him hold you tight….

I felt the anticipation…the sheer glee of him being there

You can smile-every smile for the man who held your hand neath the pale moon light.

His arms around me and almost weightless pleasure of dancing with him, I can hear the song…hear the words…

But don't forget who's takin' you home and in whose arms you're gonna be. So darlin' save the last dance for me.

“Brian!” I screamed; my heart pounding as I sat up in bed, sweating, covers thrown back in a panic. I was hyperventilating, I couldn’t stop and in an instant Brian was at my side, talking softly, holding me firmly, stroking my hair…like he used to…after the bashing.

I closed my eyes, the harsh mid-day sun hurt my eyes but when I closed them I saw flashes of swirling lights, people’s faces…Brian’s face, smiling.

When my breathing slowed, Brian’s fingers dug into my hair and pulled me close.

“Nightmare?” Brian asked, his voice a raspy whisper. He’d hated my nightmares.

I shook my head, confused for a moment, “No…I… I think I was remembering.”

“Remembering what?” Brian asked softly.

I hesitated, wondering if I should say anything. What if I was wrong?

“That night…the…the dance,” I admitted and looked into his eyes. “I think I remembered the prom.” I closed my eyes and saw him again…he was….

“So happy,” I whispered.

He laughed, leaning his forehead into mine, “We were fucking amazing.”

TBC