Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Story Notes:

Disclaimer:  QAF and its characters are the sole property of Cowlip Productions and Showtime. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

 

 

 

It had been only three months since he had left Brian for Ethan. Three months! It was the longest and hardest three months of his life. The second that he had left and saw the look on Brian's face, he knew he was making the biggest mistake of his life. He went and got his stuff a few days later while Brian was at work. He tried giving Brian space. That meant giving his Liberty Avenue family space. He changed up his shifts at the Diner, so he wasn't there when everyone else was, usually in the middle of the day. It cut into his classes, but then, of course, he had quit attending just a few days ago. Debbie hadn't wanted him to quit, the Diner or school. But he had. He was only staying at the Diner so he had some money, but was currently looking for a new job. That was hard to come by. At the Diner, he was free to be who he was. Gay. But some establishments didn't want you to be free. They wanted you to come in, do your job, make them money, and then go home.



He stopped going to all the regular hang out places, Woody's and Babylon mainly. He had stopped answering Mel, Lindsay, Emmett, and Ted's phone calls. They were Brian's friends. Brian's family. He needed them more than Justin needed them. They did still call him. Try to talk to him at the Diner. Invite him out. But then Ethan would get mad. Even though he missed them terribly, Ethan had told him the only reason they wanted him around was because he was their pet. Something cute to play with. They really weren't his friends. Ethan couldn't have been more pleased by all the changes. He had encouraged him over and over again to cut ties with everyone, and he was slowly doing just that. All for Ethan. All to feel loved. All for some romance.


He shook his head. Romance. What a fucking joke. Yeah, Ethan had been romantic...at first. He had said all the right things to Justin. But Justin wasn't happy. He wasn't satisfied. Ethan had changed. Slowly at first, but then, all of a sudden, there was no stopping the change. Justin had seen it. Ethan had gained power over him. He knew it was happening. But he didn't have any energy to fight what was happening. He was too deep into it to get out. He was too afraid to get out of it. He deserved it. He had left Brian. He had made a big scene and had left him, and for what?

                

Ethan didn't get mad when he went to see his mother. And at first, he wasn't mad about Daphne, but he had started saying the other day that he wasn't sure if he liked Daphne. Ethan would probably start making him cut ties to her, too. He had to know everything about Justin. Where he was at all times of the day. Who he was talking to. What he was doing. It was exhausting. And a little scary. But Justin stayed. It's what he deserved.

 

Ethan had started out so romantic. Loving on him, saying everything he needed to hear. It was the perfect relationship. And Justin was so happy. He didn't give himself time to think about what he had lost. But at night, when he'd be lying in bed, trying to ignore Ethan's snoring, he'd let his mind race. He'd let what his reality was now sink in. He missed Brian so much it hurt. He thought about him every day. More and more frequently, the longer he stayed away from Brian. He ached for him. It had gotten so bad that in order to get through sex, he'd close his eyes and think only of Brian. Any of their million moments of having sex he thought about it, and it got him through having sex with Ethan.

 

Justin was scared about how much Ethan had changed in three months. Everywhere he turned, Ethan was there. He never gave Justin time to himself. He inserted himself into every detail of Justin's life. Justin questioned everything about himself. Every move Justin made, he questioned himself. He quit school at Ethan's insistence. Why, you ask? See, Justin's hand hurt. It hurt so badly. Every day without physical therapy, or Brian taking care of his hand, it became worse. He started failing his classes. Ethan had let him know that he really wasn't a good artist, and that he should just give it up. And Justin had started to believe it. He wasn't that good. He kinda sucked, actually.

 

Ethan let Justin know how toxic Brian was. He was a user. He was a pimp, and he had pimped Justin out. He told Justin that he should be so thankful for how he had come to rescue him. His friends were Brian's friends, not his. Evan though was so thankful to Lindsay and Melanie for bringing Justin to his recital, they were Brian's friends. Lindsay shared a child with Brian, so they couldn't be his friends. Emmett; he was all into the night life. He hung out every night with Brian. Emmett was only friends with him because Brian fucked him. Emmett wasn't his friend. And Ted was too old. He was Brian's friend. He didn't want to hang out with some teenager. Ted had never been his friend. Debbie was a crazy lady who collected gay boys to call her own. She had moved on. She wasn't Justin's friend, either. Ethan didn't need to bother mentioning Michael. Justin and Ethan both knew how Michael felt about him. Justin didn't need them. All he needed was Ethan. None of the Liberty Avenue family were his family. He believed everything Ethan thought about them.

 

Ethan had been working on Justin cutting ties with his mother and Daphne, too, but that was proving to be more difficult. Both of them encouraged Justin to do all the wrong things. Go to school for something he wasn't good at. Hang out with the Liberty Avenue family, who were killing Justin's soul. Go back to Brian, who was obligated to take him in, because his daddy had been cruel to him and Chris Hobbs had assaulted him. (Which, according to Ethan, was caused by Justin egging him on. It wasn't entirely Chris's fault, and maybe he should think about apologizing.) Worst of all, they encouraged Justin to leave Ethan.

 

He rubbed his shoulder. What no one could see was that he had a bruise there. Did he forget the part where Ethan had slowly started physically hurting him? That had been a shock. It started out small. Pinching him hard enough to leave a bruise. Then it was squeezing him tightly. Then it started out as a slap. Nothing too bad. But every day it got worse and worse, shoving him into the door or the wall. He had to lie to Debbie about how he had tripped and hit the corner of the door when she had noticed a bruise on the side of his face. Ethan had caused it when he had come home late from work one night.

 

But Justin made Ethan angry. It was Justin's fault that this happened. Ethan never wanted to hurt Justin. Justin made him do it. Or a few times, Justin had just been imagining things. He had never laid a hand on Justin. And then that had made Ethan upset that he was accusing him of slapping him, when he had never laid a hand on him. How could Justin do that to him? Did Justin really love him? In the end it was Justin saying he was sorry.

 

Justin wasn't sleeping, he was barely eating, and he was barely surviving. He went days without eating, because he was too nauseous, and he just didn't have money. Last month, an argument had continued for two weeks about whether he and Ethan should get a joint checking account. They could use Ethan's account, and then just add Justin's name to it. Justin had finally agreed, and had his check direct deposited into Ethan's checking account. Ethan at first made every excuse in the book as to why he couldn't make it to the bank to add Justin's name onto the account. After a while, Ethan had turned it around by claiming that Justin didn't trust him; that was the problem. It had gotten so damn bad that finally Justin relented, and gave up his rights to his own money. I guess a slap to the face will make you give up your money.

 

Anything could set Ethan off. If he was breathing too loud sometimes, it pissed him off. If Justin didn't react at that exact moment the way Ethan wanted him to, Ethan got angry. He slapped Justin in the face all the time. He loved it; Justin thought he got off on it. Ethan loved the sound of his hand slapping Justin's face. When he'd get really mad, Ethan would beat him. He hated those nights. Those beatings were the worst.

 

Ethan kept telling him he deserved his punishments after all he had done for him. He had saved him from Brian. He took care of him. All Ethan asked was for Justin to be obedient, do as he said, and don't piss him off. If Justin would just do as he was told, then Ethan wouldn't have to beat him.

 

One of Ethan's favorite punishments was not giving Justin money to get something to eat. "Eating is a privilege, Justin. Feeding you is a privilege that you earn from me. If you're not going to be obedient and behave, how can I give you food? How can I just take care of you and give you everything if you haven't earned it?" And that's why most of the time he didn't have anything to eat.

 

Little by little, Justin was losing himself. He was depressed. He spent days in bed. He believed everything Ethan told him and started doing everything Ethan demanded of him. He dressed the way Ethan wanted him to dress. He did every single thing Ethan wanted him to do...Except the day when he decided to surprise him in Harrisburg. He had traveled there to see him when he had observed Ethan kissing some guy. Justin had followed them back to Ethan's hotel, watching as Ethan dragged the other boy inside.

 

That night, Justin went back to the apartment. He felt so alone. He wasn't surprised Ethan was cheating on him. In fact, he wasn't even hurt by it. He just couldn't believe he had been so stupid as to think he loved Ethan. It was Brian that he loved. And he had lost Brian. He had lost everything when he gave Brian up. So, he had done the unimaginable. He had grabbed an entire bottle of sleeping pills he had snagged from Kiki at the Diner and had swallowed more than 20 of them. He had swallowed them all and then lay down in bed.

 

He cried himself to sleep. Or so he thought. He must have regained consciousness, because when he woke up, he was in the bathroom, covered in his own vomit. He had never felt so low in his life, that he'd ever contemplated suicide, let alone tried to do it. He had cried there on the bathroom floor, covered in vomit and not even caring. He had tried to kill himself, only to fail. He couldn't even accomplish that. Why couldn't he have just died? He had just lain there afterward, sobbing on the floor. Why had he left Brian? Why had he let this happen?

 


 

That night changed everything for him. His depression escalated dramatically. After he had finally cleaned himself off and taken a shower, he had received a phone call from one of the waiters at the Diner, asking if he could take his shift during the day? Why not? He needed the money. Ethan wasn't home yet, so he wouldn't have to tell Ethan about the tips he would make.

 

"You look a little green." Daphne said to him as they sat on a bench outside the Diner on his break. He was a little relieved to see her, but so paranoid that Ethan would surprise him and see them together. He rubbed his face.



"Yeah, I haven't been feeling good the past couple of days. I went to the doctor, and they said I have the flu. So, I just have to ride it out," Justin lied to her. It was true that he hadn't been feeling well. He also hadn't eaten in a week, either. He watched the cars pass him by in front of them.



"Then why are you working? With food? And take off your long-sleeve shirt when you're in there. You know it's always hot in the Diner," she reminded him. He couldn't take off his shirt, though. There was bruises on his arms. He ignored her comment.


"Because I need the money. I can't just take time off anymore. I have too many bills to pay," Justin said.



Daphne snorted. "Yeah, I'm sure he must love that. You move in and pay for everything," Daphne grumbled as she crossed her arms. "You're running yourself ragged trying to pay rent for that rat-infested shit hole. You don't even love him, Justin," Daphne blurted out. Justin rubbed his face. He looked around, hoping Ethan hadn't heard her. A fleeting thought passed through his mind; maybe he could run out into traffic. Would that kill him?



"Please don't start on that again. I do love him," Justin lied. Daphne just shook her head.



"You quit school for him. You've stopped talking to everyone you love because of him. Just go talk to Brian. I'm sure you guys can work this out..."



"No. Brian and I can't work this out. I've moved on. Please; just stop it, alright?" Justin pleaded with her. Daphne was mad. She wasn't going to let this go. He stood up. "I have to get back to work. I'll talk to you later," he said before walking back into the Diner. It was the same speech Daphne had constantly been giving him. She was all for leaving Brian when they had been together. But the second that he had left, she had told Justin to go back to him. He shook his head. What the hell was he supposed to do? Didn't she know that was all he wanted to do? Of course, she did.

 

"Sunshine, I need you to tell me what's going on. I have a bad feeling you're not okay. Please, just tell me what's wrong," Debbie said. He hated when she cornered him.

 

"Debbie, I've just been sick. I've just been working so hard, trying to save enough money to pay the bills. I've been really clumsy since I've been sick. Please; stop worrying. I promise, I'm okay," Justin promised as he hugged her. He tensed in her arms, though; he shouldn't be hugging her. What if Ethan shows up here and sees? So, he pulled away, anxiously looking around. He saw the confused and hurt look on Debbie's face.

 

"Why don't you go talk with Brian? I'm sure he'd help..."

 

"No, I can't. I have an order up," Justin hastily explained as he rushed away from her. He was desperate to talk with Brian. He hadn't talked with him since Lindsay and Melanie's party. He had tried stopping himself from thinking about Brian. He really had. But his mind and heart betrayed him every day. He never let himself forget how much he loves Brian. How much he misses Brian.



He went home a few hours later. He hated the smell there. It was old and dirty. He had never lived like this before. He unlocked the broken door and moaned when he saw the kitchen. Apparently, Ethan was back because he had left a mess in the kitchen. He always used to clean up after himself before Justin moved in. He knew this, because when he would suddenly show up, the apartment was clean. Well, not clean. The whole building was dirty. But at least he had picked up after himself. Ethan never did that anymore now. Justin was the one that cleans up for him. And if he didn't, then Ethan would hit him again. Ethan told him it was his job now to clean and take care of him while he was working on his music career.



He was just finishing up in the living room when Ethan walked in. "Hey, where were you? I went to the Diner and you weren't there," Ethan said as he put his violin down. How the hell did he know he had been at the Diner?



"I only had to work till 5:00 today," Justin told him, not even bothering to question him. "Parker called out sick. I figured we could use the money," he added. Somehow, Ethan already knew when he worked. He pulled out his cash and put in on the counter. There went his tips. There would be a fight if he didn't hand it over. Ethan snatched it up. After every shift he was supposed to give Ethan his money.



"You told me 6:00. What have you been doing for an hour?" Ethan demanded. What? When did he tell him that? Justin didn't answer him fast enough and Ethan slapped him. "Hey!" Ethan said, making him pay attention, and then he grabbed Justin's forearm tightly. It really hurt. He was so foggy from taking all those sleeping pills that he had taken the night before. "I'm talking to you! Answer me when I'm talking to you!" Maybe he had texted Ethan today. Had he? Maybe he had told Ethan he would be covering Parker's shift.



"I had to walk back here. And I've been cleaning the kitchen and living room. It was trashed, and it took me forever to clean it up," Justin said, slipping out of Ethan's grasp and walking over to the other side of the living room. He still was living out of his duffle bag. Ethan didn't have a dresser. Ethan had all of his clothes folded against the wall. But Justin refused to put any of his clothes on the floor. So, he'd fold them and put them back in his duffle bag and put the dirty clothes in the hamper. He started getting undressed.



"Did you find a different job yet?" Ethan asked. Justin rolled his eyes as he was pulling his shirt over his head. "DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!" Ethan yelled, pushing him into the wall. He felt tears springing to his eyes.



"I'm sorry, Ethan. I've been working all day and then came home here. I haven't had a chance to go look anywhere."


"So, you're just gonna stay at the Diner and see Brian all the time," Ethan complained. Oh, God; not this again.



"I didn't see Brian today. And he and I are broken up. We haven't talked since Mel and Lindsay's party. And that was for 10 seconds. Can we please just have this conversation later.? I don't feel good and just want to go to bed. I haven't been able to shake this flu," Justin said as he kneeled down to sit on the damn mattress lying on the floor. He had never gone to the doctor, but he had been sick for weeks, so he assumed it had to be the flu.



"Fine!" Ethan hissed. But don't think this is the end of it. We'll discuss this later, then." He warned him as he walked over to his violin case and started taking it out.



"Ethan, please; I have a headache," Justin pleaded. He didn't want to hear his violin right now. Before he could react, he felt a blow to his head, and it sent him into the wall. He held his face tightly. He knew that one would leave a bruise. He saw stars in front of his eyes from the impact.



"Don't you ever talk to me like that! I've told you that a million times! You don't get to disrespect me in my own home, do you, Justin?" Ethan asked. Justin shook his head. Ethan grabbed his hair tightly and yanked it. "Tell me, Justin!"

 

"No, I'm sorry." Justin cried out.

 

"Things are gonna change around here, starting with your disrespectful mouth. I need to think about your next punishment. Since you need to learn how to respect me, you'll address me as 'Sir' from now on. Maybe THAT will make you learn how to respect me. Then if you earn it, maybe you can start calling me Ethan again. Do you understand, Justin?" Ethan asked, pulling his hair harder and making him cry.

 

"Yes, Sir," Justin whispered painfully.

 

Ethan let him go and slapped him again. "Good. After I'm done, you're gonna show me some respect by sucking on my cock. I'm fucking that mouth hard tonight because of your disrespectful tongue. That'll be your only food for a few days. So, don't you dare fucking eat anything in this house, because you don't deserve it! I need to play. I need to practice. My music comes first, and you know that. Go lie down somewhere else." Ethan crossed the room to the window and started playing loudly. Lie down where? There was only one room. He pulled the pillow over his head as he lay down on the mattress. Could he suffocate himself like this? Could he make all this pain go away and just kill himself right here? He lay there and actually tried. He tried not breathing. But his body won out every time. He cried softly to himself. He wanted to die. He just wanted to die. Please, just help me to stop breathing.

 

The pillow was yanked off him later as Ethan pinned him to the bed. It resulted in one of the worst punishments that Justin had received. It lasted maybe 15 minutes; Justin wasn't sure. But it felt like hours. His throat was raw from gagging and screaming.

 

"Don't make me punish you anymore! You deserve it every time I punish you. Don't fall out of line anymore. Do as I tell you," Ethan demanded after he was done. Justin let tears fall down his face. "Now what do you say?"

 

"Yes, Sir," he whispered.

 

Ethan sighed. "I hate when I have to punish you. It hurts my heart. Why can't you just be good?" he asked.

 

Justin was alone. He was humiliated. His punishments had never been this bad before. He knew they were getting worse. He was trying to fall asleep, but then Ethan yanked him up.

 

"I need to cum again. Sit on it," Ethan hissed.

 

"Please; I'm so tired," Justin pleaded. But Ethan ignored him as he pulled on his hair.

 

"I said, sit on it! Don't back talk me; do you understand me?" Ethan demanded.

 

"Yes, Sir." Ethan finally let go of his hair. Justin grabbed a condom and rolled it down his cock. God, it never seemed to stop with him! He took himself out of the moment. He traveled to some other place and dissociated himself from whatever was happening. It was the only way Justin endured being with Ethan.

 


 

The next day, he was in the bathroom, staring at his bruised cheek. He popped out a razor blade. This was it. This had to be the one. He was going to end it this time. Justin Taylor was going to die! He pressed it against his wrist and slowly started to slice across the tender skin. He could do this. You can do this, Justin. All this pain will end. You won't have to be in this shitty apartment ever again. You won't have to see Ethan ever again. I'm sorry, Brian, he whispered softly.

 

"JUSTIN, WILL YOU GET OUT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?" Ethan demanded.

 

Justin sighed in dismay; his third attempt had failed.  He wiped the blood that covered his wrist. It was deep enough to bleed, but not deep enough to cause damage. His wrist hurt. He had done some type of damage to his wrist, but not enough. Couldn't he just die already? Please!

 

Justin unlocked the door and came out. "I just asked you a question. What were you doing in there?" Ethan demanded. Justin cleared his throat.

 

"I'm sorry; I just spaced out," Justin said. Ethan rolled his eyes and smacked him hard in the head. Justin just closed his eyes.

 

"Well, wake the fuck up! Don't make me late," Ethan growled as he shoved him aside to enter the bathroom.

 

"Yes, Sir," he whispered. He was humiliated. He was getting dressed a few minutes later and getting his things from the table when Ethan pushed him down onto the counter. Ethan never left him alone.

 

"Please; don't. It hurts down there," Justin pleaded. Ethan grabbed him by the hair and yanked him up and slapped him hard. Justin tried to push him away because it hurt so bad, but Ethan slammed his head down oton the counter. He cried as it happened. It was an everyday event now.

 

He was so alone. He always thought that this was the lowest he could be. The lowest he could feel. And then he was proven wrong all over again. You did this to yourself, Justin. You had a good life and left it all. You deserve this.



This went on for another week. Justin remained sick. And every day it was the same argument with Ethan. He'd get punished every day for whatever Ethan thought was necessary. He wasn't allowed to call him Ethan anymore. It was always ‘Yes, Sir', ‘No, Sir', ‘Thank you, Sir', ‘Sorry, Sir'. Justin was so tired of it all.

 

He hated his punishments. He begged Ethan not to fuck him. He even tried getting away from him one time. That was the worst time. He cried as Ethan fucked him. His ass was on fire and hurt so bad. He kept crying no. He begged him to stop. He didn't want this. But Ethan said he needed to be taught a lesson. He was teaching him a lesson. It was so humiliating.

 

When he was done, Ethan had kissed the top of his head. "Just be good, Justin, and I won't have to punish you. I only punish you because I love you," he insisted as he walked away. A fleeting thought flittered through Justin's mind that this was rape. But Ethan loved him. He was only trying to teach him a lesson. He punished him because he loved him.

 


 

Justin was outside the Diner, throwing trash away. He wiped at a tear that fell. God, why didn't Brian love him? Why didn't he come and get him? Didn't he know how much he loved him? How much he missed him? How much he needed him? He hated that he did this to himself. And he missed Brian. He missed him terribly. But he knew Brian didn't miss him. He let him leave.

 

Justin looked and stared at the dumpster. Why didn't he just get in the dumpster, wait for the garbage truck to come, and throw himself in the truck? That would surely kill him. He could do this; it would be perfect. God, every chance he had he thought of awful ways to kill himself. He just had to take one step in front of the other. No one would know he was in there. He put his hands on the dumpster. Now all he had to do was haul himself in there. But it was just way too much. The alley started spinning. He felt strong arms catch him as he started to fall, and he blacked out for a minute. There was ringing in his ears. He could hear something, but it was muffled.



"Justin, are you okay?" he heard after a minute. His eyes started to focus, and he realized it was Brian. He scrubbed at his face. He was dreaming. God, did he finally die?



"What happened?" Justin asked as he looked around.



"You fainted. Are you alright?" Brian asked. It sounded like he cared. Did he care? He sounded concerned. Justin shook his head. He wasn't dead yet.



"Yeah, I'm fine. I just have the flu. I haven't been able to shake it," Justin lied as he tried to stand up on his shaky legs. But he ended up leaning into Brian again as he caught him.



"You're not fine," Brian said as he held onto him tightly. "Come on. I'll take you to the doctor."

 

Justin shook his head. "I've already been to the doctor. I just have the flu. They can't do anything for that." He didn't want to tell Brian that Ethan wouldn't give him any money to go to the doctor, no matter how many times he had begged him. Ethan had told him to "suck it up, it was just a cold, it's all in your head, and you'd better not get me sick." Then he was punished for asking for money.

 

That night, he was told he was grounded and officially was not allowed to ask Ethan for money anymore. If he wanted money, he had to earn it. Be a good little boyfriend and maybe Ethan would help him out. And that was why he hadn't eaten in five days. He was grounded from eating again. And he'd better not ask anyone for some food, because then he would know. One of the reasons why he didn't want to leave the Diner was because he would sneak food. It had been the only source of food he had gotten in five days, unless Ethan gave him money to go grocery shopping. He was so scared Ethan would come into the Diner and see him sneaking food. He wouldn't even let Debbie see. He had dropped a plate of food and cleaned it up, but instead of throwing it away, he had sneaked into the bathroom and eaten it.



"Then I'll take you to my doctor, then, instead of whatever free clinic piece of shit you see," Brian grouched. Justin closed his eyes and willed the world to stop spinning. He ended up with his head against Brian's chest, panting heavily and gripping his arms tightly. God, it felt heavenly. He could dream for a little while, couldn't he?



"I have to go back to work. I can't afford to leave early," Justin whispered without moving an inch off his body.



"Forget about work, Justin. You can't go back in there," Brian told him, slowly walking him to his car. Justin tried shaking his head.



"I can't afford to leave early. And I can't afford paying your doctor..."



"Fuck the money. You can't even open your fucking eyes. Stop arguing with me. You're going. I'll take care of it," Brian said.

 

He shut his mouth then and let Brian lead him to his car. It wasn't the jeep anymore. He heard Brian had gotten a new car, but he hadn't seen it. He had been trying to avoid Brian. What the hell was Brian even doing here? It was 9:30 in the morning. He should be at work. He had already been there for breakfast, and it wasn't lunch time yet, so what the fuck was he doing there?



Brian had run in and told Debbie that he was taking Justin before grabbing his stuff and throwing it into his car. They drove in silence for a while. "You didn't have to do this," Justin whispered. He still hadn't opened his eyes. He was so sick to his stomach.



"Well, someone had to take you, if you're not gonna go yourself," Brian grumbled.



"Thank you," Justin said. He couldn't see Brian's face. He didn't know if he was mad or happy. He had no fucking clue. Brian called his doctor from his car, letting him know that he was bringing Justin in.



"How long have you been sick?" Brian asked him when he hung up.



"A couple days after Melanie and Lindsay's party," Justin revealed, holding his stomach. That had been three months ago. He thought it was stress from leaving Brian. But the nausea never went away; it had gotten so much worse. He was sure his not eating wasn't helping.  "Pull over," Justin warned him.

 

He heard Brian's tires squeal and felt the car stop. He opened his eyes and tore off his seat belt and threw the door open before he started vomiting in the grass. He couldn't even get out of the car. He thought he was about to fall forward, but Brian had gotten out of the car and ran around to the side to hold him back. After he threw up everything in his stomach and he dry heaved. Brian rubbed and squeezed his shoulders. He knew the second Brian realized there was a bruise on his cheek. He felt a feather light finger graze his cheek. But he couldn't look at him.



"Lift your head up," Brian said. Justin did as Brian said. Brian had grabbed his cum towel that he kept in his car and started wiping his face, and then started wiping his mouth. He knew he was sweating like crazy. "Swish this around in your mouth," Brian said, holding a water bottle. Justin took a sip of the water and did as Brian asked before spitting it out. "Think you can make it?" Brian asked him. Justin nodded his head. He sat back against the seat and panted, his forehead cold and clammy. Brian got back in his car and reached across Justin to grab his seat belt for him, and then started driving.

 

Brian helped him out of the car and walked behind him, keeping a hand on his back as they walked in. He held the door open for Justin. God, Brian was being so sweet. Why was Brian being so sweet? It just made him feel even worse. All he wanted to do was be with Brian. He sat down in the waiting room, and Brian went to the desk to check him in. He took the clipboard back to where Justin was sitting and started filling the paperwork out.



"Have you been throwing up since their party?" Brian asked him. Justin nodded his head.



"It got worse a few weeks ago. Today was the worst it's ever been," he admitted. He wondered how he was able to throw up with nothing in his stomach. He had his head back against the wall and had his eyes closed. He wasn't talking above a whisper, because he thought if he did, he would start throwing up again.



"Dizziness and fatigue?" Brian asked. Justin nodded his head again. "That how you got the bruise on your face? You were dizzy and fell?" Brian asked, his voice cold.

 

Justin gulped. "I'm really clumsy." He knew Brian wasn't buying it. But Brian didn't push it. "Headaches and muscle aches, too," Justin said.

 

Brian looked over at him and then at his hand. Justin's right hand was curled up. Something caught Brian's eye that made him swallow down bile. There was what looked like an infected cut on his wrist. He felt his body go cold. What the fuck was going on? He couldn't even stomach the thought of Justin trying to...he wouldn't finish the thought. His mind was playing tricks on him. And that bruise on Justin's cheek didn't help. Justin was just clumsy, that's all. He just tried to convince himself that Justin was clumsy. Brian filled out the rest of the paperwork when a nurse called Justin's name. Brian again walked with his hand on his back and led him into the room.



A few minutes later, Brian's doctor came in and started asking Justin all types of questions. "And the free clinic said you had the flu?" he asked. Justin hesitated before sighing.

 

"I never went to the doctor. I just assumed it was the flu." He wouldn't look at Brian. The nurse had put a pail in Justin's lap, just in case he needed to throw up again. He was hugging it tightly to himself. Brian seriously thought Justin was going to throw up again.



"Well, I don't think you have the flu. I'd like to run some tests. There might be another reason for you being so sick," the doctor decided. Justin went to protest, but Brian spoke right up.



"Do whatever you have to. Just bill me." Brian said. Justin went to say something to Brian, but Brian cut him off. "Shut the fuck up," he told him. They took a ton of blood from him. Took a swab of his mouth. He even had to give them a urine sample. And embarrassingly, even a stool sample. Then the doctor looked at his wrist. He eyed Justin.

 

"My apartment had a sharp piece of wood sticking out. I tripped into it and never even saw it. That's when I did this." He held his wrist out and then touched his face. "I've been so sick that I haven't taken care of it. Would you be able to?" Justin asked.

 

Brian knew Justin so well. He hid his face in his hands. What the hell was going on? Justin was lying. He had lied twice. What happened to him?


"Let me get all these results back before we do anything else. But I can prescribe something for the nausea," he said after cleaning up Justin's wrist. Brian and Justin thanked him, and Brian walked him back outside. He drove them to the pharmacy.



"Just wait here. I'll get them," Brian said as he got out. God. Why couldn't he just be an asshole. Why did he have to help him? He had missed Brian so much. He wanted to be with him. The tension was awful between them.



When Brian went inside to fill the prescription, he figured out from the pharmacist that Justin hadn't picked up his allergy medicine. He sighed. He had determined that Justin had decided not to buy his meds in order to pay for his living expenses, although it wasn't a shock that he didn't have his allergy medicine. He could tell from the moment Justin had spoken that his allergies were flaring up.

 

Brian already knew that Justin had quit school. He had gotten notice in the mail yesterday that his refund check was being processed. That was why he had been at the Diner; he knew Justin would be there while he normally was working to avoid running into him. But seeing Justin's hand today, so curled up, he suspected that it had played a huge role in his quitting. While he waited for Justin's meds, he went over and purchased some ginger ale and crackers. While he grabbed those, he snatched a couple of other things that he knew Justin liked. All that junk food shit that he was always eating. While he paid, he pulled out as much cash as he could, and then went to the ATM inside the convenience store to get more cash. He got Justin's meds and then headed back to the car.



"Are you hungry? I can stop somewhere and get you something to eat," Brian asked. Oh, God, he was so hungry! But Ethan would know. He wasn't allowed to eat anything. Ethan would find out, and he'd be beaten again.



"No, it's really okay. I should go back to the Diner and finish my shift," Justin said.

 

Brian snorted. "You're not going back to work. I'm driving you home. You can barely stand up." Justin didn't argue with him. He watched out the window as tears sprang to his eyes. He was supposed to make a certain amount in tips every shift. If he didn't meet that amount...punishment. He knew what was waiting for him tonight.

 

He didn't realize that Brian was driving straight to Ethan's. How did he know where he lived? But it was Brian. Of course, he'd know where he's living. He stopped in front of the building and they both got out. Brian picked the bags up from the trunk, while Justin took his messenger bag and put it over his shoulder before noticing the bags that Brian was holding.



"It's just ginger ale and shit. Stuff to make you feel better," he explained. He went to take a step forward, but Justin stopped him, pulling on the bags.



"I can take them. Thank you, Brian," Justin said. Brian let him take the bags. Justin didn't want Brian to see where he was living. It was bad enough that he could see how rundown this part of town was. How dirty the building was. He didn't want Brian to actually see what he was living in.



"Don't want your little boyfriend to see me, huh?" Brian said sarcastically as he shut his trunk.



"He'll get the wrong idea. And I don't feel like dealing with that. I just need to get some sleep," Justin said tiredly. Brian nodded his head. Of course, he'd get the wrong idea. God, he was suddenly so afraid that Ethan was watching them right now. He started shaking. Brian was staring at him.

 

"Are you sure everything's...okay?" Brian asked. He cleared his throat. "If you need help...or you're in trouble. I, um..." His voice trailed off.

 

"Thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you today." Justin said, trying not to shake. Brian smirked and nodded his head. "I'll repay you." Brian snorted before he walked towards his car door.



"You can thank me by getting your ass back into school," Brian said as he slid into his car and shut the door. Justin walked to the passenger side as Brian rolled it down. Brian stared at him intensely. But then he shook his head and cleared his throat. "Later," he said before he sped off.

 

He let out a deep breath. He had spent the whole afternoon with Brian. He turned and looked at where he was living. He had given up Brian...for this? Please come back, Brian. Please...just take me away from here.

 

He shook his head and slowly walked up the stairs. It was exhausting. He got up to the floor right under Ethan's and sighed. He looked into the bag that contained the food that Brian had purchased for him. He wasn't allowed to have this. He was being punished. It was so sweet of Brian, though. He left the bags on the steps.

 

He was exhausted from climbing all the stairs. But he finally made it to the right floor and entered the apartment, opening his bags to look for his meds. He wanted to start taking his nausea pills right away. He was really confused when he opened the bag at first. Above the bottle lay a bunch of cash. Brian must have pulled out whatever was in his wallet and used the ATM. Justin couldn't leave that just lying around.



He went over to the wall and pulled a brick out. He folded the money up and replaced the brick back in its spot. Brian wanted him to save that money for himself. There was no way that Ethan was getting his hands on it. He didn't know about this spot, either. Justin is the one who had pried it loose. He figured if he needed to hide something small, that would be a perfect place. Now, he'd be able to buy some food. Leave it in his locker at the Diner.



He went back to the bag and pulled out two pill bottles. He smiled sadly when he realized it was his allergy meds. Justin hadn't been able to afford them lately. He also realized that Brian had filled it for three months. He sighed. God, why wasn't he with Brian right now? He groaned, swallowed the meds, and then took a shower. He got dressed and then lay down in bed. It felt so nice to sleep when Ethan wasn't there. There was no violin music. But the quiet was interrupted too soon by a slamming of the door. Justin jumped and looked over to see Ethan stomping in.



"Where have you been? That's the second time I've gone to the Diner to pick you up and you weren't there. Where were you?" Ethan yelled. Justin sat up.



"I was taken to the doctor. I fainted at work, and then I couldn't stop throwing up everywhere. I've been here since late this morning, sleeping." Justin tried to tell him.



"Who took you to the doctor?" Ethan demanded as he reached out and grabbed his arm roughly. He couldn't say Brian. Ethan would freak. And he knows Daphne's in school.



"Ted was there for a late breakfast. He took me to the free clinic. They took a bunch of blood to run some tests and then he drove me back here. Please stop, you're hurting me," he pleaded. But Ethan wouldn't let him go. Ted should be the least threatening person of the group to Ethan.



"Why didn't you call me and tell me this? I've been calling you all afternoon! You need to answer me every time I fucking call," Ethan hissed as he shook him.

 

He rubbed at his face. "I'm sorry. I haven't even opened my bag. My phone's been in there all day. Didn't you even hear me when I said I fainted? That I was taken to the doctor?" Justin asked, his hand aching terribly. He held it close to him as it started to spasm. Ethan rolled his eyes and finally let him go and walked away.



"Oh, here we go again. It's always about you. All you ever think about is yourself. You never think about how I feel! You never think about the fact that I work so fucking hard to make it in the music industry. All you care about is getting your stupid hand rubbed and playing the victim," Ethan said dramatically.

 

Justin's mouth dropped. He didn't know what to say. But then again, he didn't have to say anything.

 

"And you just lie to me about Ted taking you, when we both know you were with your pimp all day," Ethan said, grabbing his violin. "Stay there. I'll deal with you afterward. It's about time you got another punishment. If you're gonna lie, then I'm gonna stick something else up your ass. Teach you a REAL lesson," Ethan said, turning his back towards him as he started playing his violin.

 

Punishment? Ethan couldn't be serious. He was terrified. He couldn't handle another punishment. He couldn't handle anything inside him. And what would he stick inside him. He looked around frantically. He could stick anything inside of him. What if it was the broom? "Starting with the broom." Ethan called out over his violin. It was like he knew what Justin was thinking. Ethan was going to rape him with the broom.

 

He was so sick, he could throw up again. And how the fuck did Ethan know that he had been with Brian? God, he couldn't deal with this. He couldn't do this. He quietly rose, praying Ethan wouldn't notice, as he grabbed his bag and started to hastily pack some stuff in it. While Ethan's back was turned, he grabbed the money that he had been hiding behind the brick. He stuffed his backpack, quickly dressed, and then snuck out. No, he couldn't stay. He would run away. He could do this. Remember, you were strong once, Justin. Don't you remember who you used to be?



He started running down the stairs, so scared that Ethan was behind him. When he looked at his cell phone, he noticed 42 missed calls from Ethan today. He shook his head. It was getting scary. Daphne had called him today, too. He touched her name and started calling her.



"Hey, Jus, where have you been? I've been worried about you," Daphne said.



"Hey, could you come pick me up?" Justin asked as he exited the building. His voice was so shaky. He could still hear Ethan's violin. He apparently hadn't noticed yet that he had left. God, what if he chased him?



"Yeah, I was actually driving to the Diner to see if you were there. I'll pick you up in a few minutes. Are you okay?"



"I'm walking towards the end of the road right now. Pick me up when you see me," Justin said and hung up. He shrunk back into the shadows as much as possible. Five long minutes later, he darted out into the street light as he noticed her car, hurriedly entering it as he gasped for breath, shaking and shivering. It was raining now.



"God, you look terrible! Are you okay?" Daphne asked as she turned around and started heading toward her apartment.



"No I'm not," he admitted. "Can I sleep at your place tonight?"



"Yeah, of course. You can sleep in my room. You don't want to sleep on that couch if you're sick. It's really uncomfortable."



"Thanks, Daph." Justin replied as he wearily rested his head back against the seat. He must have fallen asleep at some point, because he felt Daphne shaking his shoulder as she parked. She grabbed one of his bags and they headed up to her apartment and dropped his stuff off in her room before sitting on the couch.



"So, are you gonna tell me what's going on? And tell me what really happened to your face?" Daphne asked as she made him turn his face so she could see the bruise. Justin sighed as he pulled away from her.



"We had a fight...I feel like he's not even the same person anymore." Before Daphne could say anything, Justin's cell phone started ringing. It was Ethan. His body shook a little. It took him that long to realize he was gone? Would Ethan find him here? He put it on silent.



"Justin, you don't love him. Just leave him."



"How can I, though? I left Brian for him. I wanted all this romance and love. I chose Ethan over Brian. And now I'm just gonna leave him? It's humiliating." Justin said, leaning his head back. And to be honest, he was scared, too.

 

"Fine, it's humiliating. But at least you can be rid of him. You don't love him. You're totally miserable. Look at your hand," Daphne pointed out. It was curled against his chest. She scooted over and held her hand out. He picked his hand up and placed it in hers. She started digging into it. She wasn't as strong as Brian, but God, did it feel good. "He doesn't even massage it for you. You've been working yourself to the point of exhaustion. You haven't been sleeping. And that place is dirty. Just leave him."  



"Where am I supposed to go?"



"You can live here. My roommate is moving out next month. You and I can share my room until she leaves, and then you can have that room." Justin just looked at her. "Think about it. Only paying half the rent will be much easier on you. You can go back to school and then go back to working normal hours at the Diner. It'll totally work out. And you can start talking to all your friends again. And one of my neighbors grows weed on the roof and always gives me some at a discount for my silence," Daphne said, making Justin laugh.



"Just that easy? Just move in here with you?" Justin asked. She nodded her head.



"Yes, it really is just that easy. You don't love him. Break up with him."

 

"But he loves me. I swear he does."

 

"Do you hear yourself? He doesn't love you! He's manipulated you into thinking and acting like someone I don't even know. You quit school; you don't talk to anyone. Your mom and I barely see you. You pay for everything. You're torturing yourself," Daphne said.

 

He let out an agonizing sigh. "I pay for everything, because my check gets deposited into his account," Justin admitted before he could stop himself.

 

Daphne's eyes flared. "He's stealing from you? God, Justin! Please don't go back to him. I'm begging you. Leave him and don't go back. He's abusing you. You're sick...and what happened to your face? My God, what happened to your wrist?" Daphne asked. Justin looked away. She shook her head and hugged him. "Please, Justin. Please don't do this. He'd abusing you," Daphne cried. It was the first comforting hug he'd had in so long, and he just couldn't hold it back. He started crying.

 

"I don't know what to do, Daph. I'm so alone. I've fucked my whole life up. And he won't stop fucking hitting me and punishing me. I can't do this anymore," Justin cried. She pulled back and held his hands.

 

"You're not alone, Justin. I'm right here. If I lost you...my heart would be broken. I'd never be the same. And your mom and Molly love you. And you've just forgotten how much Debbie and all of them love you. They've been calling you for months and months. And Debbie's tried so hard talking to you at work. And Brian loves you, even though he won't admit it. I need you to promise me if you ever feel that low again, you'll call me. Or call someone. Please don't try and kill yourself." She sobbed. He just closed his eyes as she hugged him. How could he make that promise? He wanted to die right here. "I'm going to kill him. Why didn't you tell me he was hurting you?" Daphne asked. He couldn't answer her. After a few minutes, she pulled back and wiped his tears away.

 

"You're gonna move in here with me. We'll share a room, and then you can have my roommate's room. And we'll get your life back on track, and you'll feel better. You'll be able to sleep, and he won't hurt you anymore. And then when you're back here, and you're back to your normal self, then we can concentrate on getting Brian back," Daphne said. He shook his head.



"I don't think that's gonna happen. He hates me after I embarrassed him in front of everyone. He doesn't even love me...he's the one who took me to the doctor today, though." Justin revealed. Her eyes widened.


"Really? See, Justin, he doesn't hate you! He really does care." She wiped her face as Justin shrugged his shoulders. He was so confused.



"I fainted, and he caught me. He took care of me. God, Daphne, he was so sweet. It's the Brian that I love. I never even stopped, not even for a second. I just don't get why he can't be like that all the time. Why can't he just admit that he cares? God, I sound pathetic. He doesn't care." He groaned as he put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He was all over the place with his emotions.

 

"Did he ask about the bruise?" Daphne asked. Justin nodded.

 

"I told him I fell. I don't think he believed me. If he didn't...well, he still let me go," Justin said sadly. He let a sob escape his mouth. "At the party...if only he hadn't been fucking Rage. If he had been waiting back there for me...we could have been fucking back there, and I never would have known Ethan was there. I never would have left with him. God, I even asked Brian would he care if I left him. All he had to do was say, "yes, I'd care." Why is it that so fucking hard?" Justin asked, starting to get emotional.



"Because he's completely crazy and does nothing normal. And I know what I said before. I know he was making you miserable. I was hoping that he'd come to his senses about you. But at least with Brian, I knew you were safe. With Ethan you're not safe at all. I just never liked him. Or trusted him. He abuses you. All Ethan does is demand to know where you are every second of the day. He wants to control everything you do, everything you say. Everything you think and feel. He's too controlling and super manipulative. He really did say all the right things to you right when you needed it. He's mentally and emotionally abused you. Now he's hurting you. He's physically hurting you. You're depressed and you need help," Daphne stated.



Justin groaned again. "I already found out that he cheated on me in Harrisburg. I tried to surprise him, but he was the one who surprised me. I saw him pulling a guy into his hotel room. God, I feel so fucking stupid! I've made a complete fuck up with my life."



Daphne's eyes narrowed in anger. "No, you haven't. If you stay with Ethan you will, but you can get out. So, just do it." She rubbed his back. "I'll help you. We'll figure all this crap out. We'll get you back in school and get better hours for you at the Diner. You'll go dance with Emmett at Babylon and have drinks with the guys at Woody's," Daphne said, earning a watery smile. "And we'll get you Brian back," she said.

 

Justin looked at her. "It's just that easy, huh? Just get my stuff tomorrow, move in here with you, and change my life?" Justin said. She smiled and nodded, but  he shook his head. "They're all Brian's friends. Brian's family. They were never really my friends. I just fell into their lap and they couldn't get rid of me," Justin insisted.

 

"That's not true! They love you so much. That's fucking Ethan talking."

 

Justin shook his head. "No, it's not. It's the truth. Brian hates me. They all do," he whispered.

 

Daphne hugged him. "God, Ethan made you think this. How can I make you see it? It isn't true. Damnit, Justin, he's a freaken creep! I never liked him. He just wasn't good enough for you. You deserve so much better than him." Daphne cuddled up to him, her head resting on his shoulder.

 

He still didn't believe her, though. He believed that Ethan was exactly what he deserved. Everything Ethan did to him. Every slap, every shove, and every hit, every punishment was exactly what he deserved. He didn't know why he was even here. Why he was toying with the thoughts of leaving? Ethan will never let him leave.

 


 

"Hey where have you been? I've been calling you all day." Lindsay said as Brian walked in and sat down on the living room floor with Gus. "Debbie said Justin fainted and you took him to the hospital."

 

"I just took him to my doctor. They did a bunch of tests to try and figure out why he's felt so sick. Justin thought it was the flu this whole time, but it's not. Isn't that right Sonny Boy?" Brian said as he gazed at his son affectionately. He helped Gus connect his train tracks together. He was trying to ignore  what had happened today. He was trying to ignore his gut feeling that Justin was in danger. That Justin would...that that fucker was...he was trying to block out what he was thinking, and even in his mind he wouldn't say the words. He couldn't. He tried to convince himself that it was all in his imagination. But he couldn't get rid of the sick feeling in his stomach.

 

"I've been trying to call him. He hasn't picked up either my or Melanie's calls...ever since Ethan came around..." her voice trailed off when Brian glanced up at her. "I don't think he's good for him. He's like Justin's father. He forced him to choose. And I that's the same thing Ethan did. That's not love," Lindsay said. Brian silently agreed with her.

 

She sat up and stared at him unblinkingly before stating firmly, "You should go and get him."  

 

"What?" He chuckled. Of course, he wanted to go get him. But Justin wanted to stay. He loved the fucking fiddler.

 

"This isn't funny, Brian! I'm serious. This has gone on long enough. You both are fucking miserable. You love and miss each other. Just go and get him and tell him you care about him."

 

"And then I'll propose with a bad-ass expensive ring and go and get myself a pretty, white dress," Brian replied sarcastically. Didn't she already know that was what he fucking had wanted to do ever since Justin had left with that fucker? Didn't she know that he was dy...he was miserable on the inside?  Lindsay grabbed a pillow and threw it roughly at his head.

 

"I mean it, Brian! Why do you have to insist on making you and Justin miserable? It's obvious he loves you. And it's even more obvious that you love him. So why are you being so fucking ignorant?" Lindsay demanded.

 

Brian gasped as he melodramatically placed his hand against his mouth. "Did you hear that, Sonny Boy? Mommy has such a dirty mouth. And she's violent, too," Brian said.

 

Lindsay sighed in exasperation. "Why can't you just admit it? I'm your best friend. I know how you feel. You know when Justin asked you if you'd care if he left, all you had to do was say yes. If you had just said yes, he'd still be living with you."  

 

Brian rolled his eyes. This was all his fault. Didn't she know that he already knew that? If he had just told Justin he cared, he'd still be with him. Nothing she said was going to make him feel any worse.

 

"You're such a lying hypocrite," she said. He looked over at her.

 

"Oh, really? Please tell me how," he said, crossing his arms and leaning back like some inquisitive student. This just infuriated Lindsay more.

 

"You go on and on about how you don't care what people think of you. You're a queer, you're a fag. That you live your life however you want to, no matter what anyone else thinks of you. But here you sit, and you let Justin go because you're too afraid of what people will think of Brian Kinney, the Stud of Liberty Avenue. You're a hypocrite, because you do care what people think of you," Lindsay told him. Brian just glared at her.

 

"And Justin compromised while he was with you, but you never met him halfway. That's also hypocritical of you."  

 

"Please...tell me more," he said sarcastically.

 

"He would give up fucking guys in a second if you wanted him to." He snorted and laughed.

 

"He had plenty of fun screwing around."

 

"Of course, he did. He does have fun. But what he really wanted was for it just to be the two of you. So, he compromised what he wanted. But you couldn't even stay in some nights. You couldn't just sit on the damn floor and have a romantic night with him, because you had to go to Babylon. You were selfish. He needed you to just choose him. But you couldn't do that. It's all about your fucking pride!" She told him.

 

He wouldn't meet her eyes anymore, but inside he was fuming. It was true. All of it was. Didn't she think he knew all of that already?

 

"Justin wasn't asking for much. He wanted you to wish him a 'Happy Birthday.' He was asking you to say that you cared. He wasn't asking for monogamy and marriage, even though he might want that in the future. He was asking for things that meant something to him. He didn't want a damn hustler for his birthday! He didn't want it to be just about sex. He wanted to go out to dinner or to a movie. Just the two of you. He was asking you to go away with him for the weekend," she said, referring to when he didn't go to Vermont.

 

"I was gonna lose my job if I didn't go to Chicago," he snapped at her.

 

"I know that. But you didn't tell HIM that. He had no idea how serious it was, because you wouldn't tell him what was going on. He thought you were trying to get out of going away to Vermont with him. All you had to do was tell him why you were going to Chicago. And maybe say, 'let's change the flight tickets and the reservations.' Or called him while he was there. Or even surprising him, instead of fucking around the whole time he was gone. That would have made a world of difference. He would have been sad, but he would have understood. He cares enough about your career that he would have completely understood."

 

Lindsay stood up and paced around the living room with nervous energy before she stopped and stared at her friend in the face to declare, "You're a selfish, prideful, lying, hypocrite, Brian Kinney."  

 

"Well, Mrs. Perfect. Tell me, what would you have me do?" Brian asked from his place on the floor.

 

"Go and get him from Ethan's. Tell him to come home. Do something to make up for his birthday and the trip to Vermont. But go and get him and tell him you did care that he left!" Lindsay yelled at him, causing Gus to peer up at her with a frown on his face.

 

Melanie walked in at that point. "What the hell is going on? I can hear you yelling all the way outside!" Lindsay crossed her arms and glared at Brian, who rose to his feet, taking a moment to ruffle his son's hair in reassurance.

 

Sensing her son's discomfort, Lindsay toned down her voice. "I'm serious. Stop being a damn coward. Stop caring about what everybody else thinks about you. The only ones who matter are us. And all of us agree that you and Justin belong together." 

 

"We're not straight people. And we're not lesbians. We're not going to..."

 

"Stop it!" Lindsay snapped. "You can make up your own rules. You two don't have to be like straight people. You can make up your own rules and live how you want to live. Get your fucking pride out of the way! But so help me, Brian, you have to fix this and bring him back to all of us before Ethan ruins everything we love about him," Lindsay pleaded, her voice choking up. She had no idea how true it was. Ethan was hurting him.

 

"What's going on with Justin?" Melanie asked Lindsay. Brian huffed and stormed out, pushing past them on the way out. "What the hell just happened?" She asked.

 


 

Daphne got him to eat that night and he started crying. He couldn't fucking help it. She frowned. "It's only soup. What's wrong?"

 

He covered his face with his hands.  "I haven't..." he trailed off, not wanting to look at her.

 

"When was the last time you've eaten?" she asked quietly as she sat down next to him.

 

"Almost a week ago...and before that I don't know...I sneak food at the Diner...I'm not allowed to have...I have to get his permission to...he won't let me eat," he whispered. He wouldn't look at her. Why was he telling her any of this? He couldn't help it. It was a whole different experience being comforted. He had forgotten what kindness felt like.

 

She scooted her chair closer and wrapped her arms around him. "Don't ever go hungry again, Justin," she commanded him. "And please don't go back there. I know I haven't fully convinced you yet. But please don't let him hurt you anymore." Despite her please, however, he couldn't promise that.

 


 

The next morning, she got Justin to eat breakfast again before he went to take a shower. She knocked on the bathroom door when he seemed to be taking too long. "Hey Jus, you ready to go?" She asked.

 

Justin came out of the bathroom all sweaty and wiping his mouth.

 

"God, you look terrible! Are you sure you wanna go out?" She asked.

 

Justin nodded his head.  "If that doctor can figure out what's wrong with me so I can stop puking every day, then it'll be worth leaving the house. In the meantime, I'm ready to puke at a moment's notice," he grumbled as he grabbed his backpack. He slowly walked down to Daphne's car, and she only had to pull over once to let him throw up. She stopped when she pulled up at the front of the doctor's office.

 

"Okay, so after school I'll just come to Ethan's apartment and we'll pack up all your stuff. Are you sure he won't be there?" she said.

 

Justin nodded his head. But truth be told, he was petrified. Just talking about Daphne coming over to help him pack his things scared him. He realized she wouldn't take no for an answer, though. He hadn't made up his mind about leaving, but Daphne had. She told him that she would not be deterred from coming over, and that he needed to stay there.

 

"He has a recital. He won't miss that for anything," Justin told her. Was he really, finally gonna part ways with Ethan Gold? He would jump up and down if he weren't so sick to his stomach. No, he wouldn't. Justin was trying to encourage himself that this was the right thing to do. But he knew it wasn't. Attempting to leave Ethan wasn't going to go well. His fear is what kept him there. And frankly, he wasn't sure he could leave. He had a very strong suspicion that he couldn't go through with it. He feared he couldn't build up enough courage to actually do it. He knew that Daphne couldn't win this fight. He was pretending for her sake, but tonight when he got home, he'd get the worst punishment of his life. The worst beating of his life. He deserved it. And hopefully, afterward he'd be dead.

 

"I don't like you going to the apartment by yourself," Daphne stated.

 

"I promise he won't be there," he assured her.

 

Daphne still didn't like it but relented.  "Alright; then I'll see you later."

 

"Thanks, Daph. Thank you for everything," Justin said as he got out of the car.

 

He had headed over to Brian's doctor early that morning to get his results. The nurse had brought him into one of the exam rooms that appeared to have an ultrasound machine. He had sat there, wondering how he was gonna leave Ethan. Daphne had made it seem so simple, but he knew it wasn't. Ethan wasn't going to just let him leave. A few minutes later Dr. Latery had come in.

 

"Good morning, Justin. So, I got all your results last night. I just wanted to check one thing out, and then we'll go into my office and go over everything, okay?" He said.

 

Justin nodded, biting his lip anxiously. "It's not cancer is it? Or HIV?"  

 

The doctor smiled reassuringly. "No, it's nothing bad. Let's just do an ultrasound, and then I'll explain everything to you in my office, okay?" The doctor said. That was a relief. No cancer, no AIDS. He laid back on the bench.

 

"If you could just lift your shirt up. I'm gonna squeeze some gel on your abdomen." The doctor explained. He did as asked, Dr. Latery squeezing the substance on his stomach as he started to move the wand over his stomach. After about five minutes, he nodded and then handed Justin a towel. "If you wanna just clean up, I'll meet you in my office when you're done."

 


 

Same Time - Kinnetik

 

Brian threw a piece of paper down on Cynthia's desk. She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "I need you to take care of all that immediately," Brian commanded. She picked up the paper and read it confusingly.

 

"What is all this?" Cynthia asked suspiciously.

 

"It's obvious what it is. I need you to take care of all this shit for me now. Can you do that?" He demanded. Her eyes widened as she read it.

 

"Oh, my God! Is this..."

 

"Just fucking take care of it, Cynthia," Brian snapped. He was in back-to-back meetings till this afternoon. He didn't need her at the office today. He walked away, rolling his eyes as he heard her laughing at her desk.

 

He hadn't slept the night before. He had made a mistake by not taking Justin home with him last night. He should have never let him go into that apartment; he should have taken Justin back to the loft. But he hadn't. His fucking pride had once more gotten in the way. But today he was changing all that. After Cynthia worked her magic, he was going to get Justin and bring him home.

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