Chapter 21

Justin had spent that first night in Brian's arms at the hospital, not having it in himself to leave Brian's side and go home. He knew that Luke and Gus would have needed him by their side and he had felt guilty about abandoning them, but he trusted that his mother was taking good care of them.

At that moment in time he had just needed to be with Brian, the only other person in the world that was able to understand his pain and his feelings.

He had called the boys before it was their bedtime and had apologised to them, had told them about their baby sister and had promised to be home the next day. Thankfully Gus and Luke hadn't made a fuss about it, for which Justin had been very grateful.

The next two days at the hospital had pretty much gone like the first day with Justin going back and forth between Brian's room and his daughter's room in NICU. He was either sitting with one or the other and had hardly left the hospital at all. The only times he actually left the hospital was to go home at dinnertime to spend some time with Gus and Luke. And only because he knew that he needed to. That they needed him and that he needed to see them and needed to see that they were okay.

Gus and Luke were spending their Christmas holidays with varying members of their family and while they were worried about Brian and their baby sister, thankfully the family had come together and organised some great trips as a distraction for them.

Ted and Blake had taken them to the Children's Museum, while Emmett and Drew had taken them to see a movie. They had cooked and baked with Debbie and had helped Jennifer prepare her house for her New Year's party, helping her with decorations and all.

Thankfully the boys were kept so busy that they hardly had time to miss their fathers too much.

Justin made a point to be home each night for dinner and bedtime, making sure that he was at least spending some time with either boy, telling them about how their baby sister was doing.

So far the boys had only been allowed to visit Brian, but hadn't been allowed to see their sister in NICU, where only parents and close family, only adults, were allowed to go.

By now most of the family had been by the hospital at one point or another to give Brian and Justin their best and to visit their daughter for which both men had been glad.

Days at the hospital were awfully long if you had nothing to do and while Justin was still going back and forth between Brian's room and NICU all day long, Brian had only been lying in his room all day long, pulling back into himself further and further.

At first Justin hadn't been quite sure what was going on, but by the second day, he had realised it for what it was. Brian had put up his walls again and Justin had no idea why. He had no idea where those walls had been coming from or why they had appeared now, all he knew was that he wasn't able to break them down. As much as he had tried to get Brian to talk, the older man had just ended conversations by changing the topic and talking about something else. Justin had yet to find out what was going on. With everything else going on however, he just wasn't sure when he was supposed to find the time for tearing down Brian's walls as well.

After two days of Justin trying to split his time between Brian, their daughter and the boys, Brian had been released and allowed to go home, just in time for New Year's.

When Justin had picked him up, getting him out of his room, he had asked if he wanted to go to NICU first, paying a visit to their daughter, which Brian had refused, claiming that he was too tired and just wanted to get home. At the time Justin hadn't really paid much attention to it, knowing that Brian still tired easily and was still getting used to his limited lung capacity, but the more he thought about it later, the more it bothered him that Brian had yet to see their daughter.

At home things had pretty much been normal and after Brian had taken a nap, he had joined his sons downstairs in the living-room, spending the afternoon with them cuddled to his side, them all watching a movie together on the sofa.

Both boys were glad to have their daddy back at home and to be able to spend some time with him and they hardly left his side all day. Justin could see that Brian also enjoyed being home again and that it did him good to spend some time with the boys. He saw Brian laughing a real laugh for the first time in days after Gus had said something and it did him good to see the carefree expression spending time with his sons brought to his partner's face.

Knowing that Brian was in good hands with both boys and Debbie keeping a careful eye on him, Justin had returned to the hospital again to be with their daughter for the rest of the day, only arriving back home in time for dinner.

After the boys had gone to bed and Brian and Justin had retired to the master bedroom, Justin snuggled up to Brian, resting his head on Brian's shoulder, careful not to get too close to his chest or abdomen where his stitches from his surgeries were still healing.

“We have to think of a name, you know?” Justin said quietly, wondering if he was making a mistake bringing up the topic now, but knowing that they needed to talk about it. They couldn't go on calling their daughter 'baby girl' and needed to name her. She deserved to have a name. It was the least her parents could do for her as far as Justin was concerned.

“A name?” Brian frowned, taking a deep breath under his oxygen mask.

“Well, we can hardly go and call her 'baby girl' all her life. She deserves a name. It's the least we can do for her,” Justin argued, pulling back slightly, so his gaze could meet Brian's. He saw several emotions in Brian's eyes, but wasn't quite sure what it was that he was seeing exactly.

He could see pain, but also a sense of realisation and acceptance. He knew that Brian knew that he was right.

“Go ahead then,” Brian said, breaking their gaze and resting his arm over his eyes.

“Brian?” Justin frowned, not sure what to make of this reaction.

“Well, you're the one who names things in this family. So go ahead. You named Gus, Kinnetik, Britin. Go on.”

“I didn't name Luke,” Justin replied quietly and the moment he had said it, cursed himself for it. Why did he have to bring that up now? He knew how Brian had been in a weird mood for days now, he knew that the walls had come back up. Why did he have to bring that up now on top of everything else?

“Obviously,” Brian said, his voice strangely void of emotion.

“Brian?”

“What?”

“I didn't say that to hurt you,” Justin said quietly, not quite sure what else to say.

Brian sighed, before he turned his head once more and looked at Justin from hardened hazel eyes. Justin realised that the walls had come back up and were firmly back in place and he cursed himself for whatever he had done to make them go up again.

“I know.”

“I really didn't,” Justin insisted, before he turned away from Brian's side, seeing his mask still firmly in place, turning to lie on his other side. He switched off the light, before he whispered. “Forget it.”

They were quiet for the longest time, before Justin felt a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You should name her. You're much better at naming things and people than I am,” Brian whispered and Justin knew from the tone the man had used that it was meant as an apology.

“You did pretty well with Luke,” Justin said quietly, leading his hand to give Brian's hand on his shoulder a squeeze, showing the older man that he accepted his apology.

“It's your turn this time,” Brian said, carefully moving onto his side, so his chest could touch Justin's back as he spooned him.

“Maybe we can name her together,” Justin suggested, leaning back into Brian's chest, enjoying the contact with his partner.

“What did you have in mind?” The older man asked, his arm now resting over Justin's midsection.

“Something traditional, not too outrageous, you know?”

“Hmmmm, sounds good.”

“I like what you did with Luke, giving him a middle name. Maybe she can have a middle name as well.”

“I'd like that,” Brian agreed, holding Justin just that much tighter when he spoke.

“I... it will probably feel repetitive, since Luke's middle name is already Victor, but I always quite liked the name Victoria, you know? And that you can shorten it to Vicky if you like,” Justin said quietly, his own hand resting on Brian's, gently holding it in place.

“It's a beautiful name,” Brian agreed. “I doubt most people will remember Luke's middle name anyway,” he guessed.

“I am sure Debbie does,” Justin pointed out, knowing that he was right. Debbie wouldn't forget that her grandson had been given her brother's name as his middle name to honour the man that had died way too early. The man that had been a father figure for most of Brian's life, more than Brian's father ever had been.

“And she would be delighted to have a second grandchild named in Vic's memory.”

“Honestly? That's not why I like the name. I loved Vic, but... it has nothing to do with him. I just always liked the name for a girl,” Justin explained.

“I know. It is a nice name. I like it too.”

“What other names would you like? Any particular name you had in mind?”

Justin could feel Brian shake his head. “Not really. I haven't really thought about it much, to be honest. I guess I always liked the name Rose for a girl.”

Justin nodded. “Hmmm, it's nice.”

“How about Victoria Rose, Vicky for short?” Brian suggested, never letting go of the smaller body that was leaning into his chest, holding his partner tight.

“I like it. Victoria Rose Kinney Taylor,” Justin whispered with a smile on his lips.

“Victoria Rose Kinney Taylor,” Brian agreed, a smile on his face as well.

***

Once they had agreed on a name for their daughter, Justin had started filing all the necessary paperwork, getting started on getting her birth certificate, etc. He knew that while he was at the hospital taking care of things there, Brian would fill in their family at home about their daughter's name.

Visiting his daughter, being able to call her by her name had made him feel elated. He couldn't quite explain why, but it had felt good to be able to call her by a name that they had chosen just for her. Somehow giving her her name had made everything more real and had made her much more of a real person than just calling her 'baby girl'.

After a quiet New Year's Eve in their home which Brian and Justin had rung in alone in their bedroom, lying in bed, watching out their window to see the fireworks while the boys were spending New Year's at Jennifer's, attending her party, it was time for real life to catch up with them again.

On January 2nd, Brian had his first chemotherapy session scheduled at the hospital. Justin had given him a lift and had dropped him off. He had offered to spend the time with Brian, but Brian had pretty much forced him to go and see their daughter in NICU while he was sitting, receiving his infusion for the next 3 ½ hours. There wasn't much that Justin could do besides sitting around and the time would be much better used if Justin spent it at their daughter's side instead of hovering over him.

Brian had tried to concentrate on getting some work done, catching up on some work emails on his phone while the infusion slowly dripped the chemicals into his body, hopefully getting rid of any cancerous cells left, hopefully making him healthy once and for all.

While he checked his emails, Brian could see that Cynthia and Ted had everything under control at Kinnetik and that everything looked okay. He didn't like not being in the loop and he didn't like not being in control, but he was painfully aware from his first time having cancer that now was not the time for him to be a business man. He needed to trust them to take care of his company and from the end of year reports he had just read through, it looked like they were doing pretty well on their own without him breathing down their necks. He had trained them both well and was lucky to have good employees like that working for him.

He looked up from his emails when he heard someone calling his name and frowned. The voice had sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place it until his face settled on a familiar person, someone he didn't think he'd ever see again in his whole life. Someone he had never wanted to see again. His eyes immediately glared back at the man now standing a few feet away from him and his voice was more hostile than it had been in years.

“What are you doing here? Leave me the fuck alone!”

“Brian, how are you? It's been years.”

“Not nearly enough years. You are not supposed to be here. Fuck off!”

“I work here,” the man replied and for the first time Brian took in the uniform that Michael was wearing. He was wearing the uniform of a cleaning worker and had a bucket and mop at his side. Brian couldn't help but notice how the years had not been kind to Michael. His hair had thinned dramatically, showing a bald spot on his head and he had put on quite a few pounds since Brian had last seen him. All in all not a good look for the man, not that Brian cared.

“Well, not much longer. You are not allowed to come anywhere close to me or my family. Leave me alone!”

“Brian,” Michael whined and Brian felt as if his ears would start bleeding any second now. “Don't be like that. It's been years.”

“I don't fucking care. You can't be here. Fuck off!” Brian just repeated, glaring at the man, daring him to annoy him any more.

“What's going on, Brian? Why are you here? What's with the mask?” Michael asked, totally ignoring what Brian had just said, pointing to the oxygen mask on his face as if he was only seeing it now.

“None of your business. Get out of here. NOW! Before I call the police!”

“I work here, Brian. How was I supposed to know that I would meet you here? Are you sick again? Is it cancer again?” Michael asked, his voice sounding strangely concerned.

At that moment they were interrupted by Justin, who was just walking up to them. All he could see was Brian's angry glare directed at one member of the cleaning personnel, whom he could only see from behind. He wondered what was going on there and what had happened to make Brian that angry. Justin could see by the glare in the older man's eyes and by the popping of the vein on his forehead how angry Brian really was.

“Brian? Is everything okay?” he asked as he walked up to his partner, stopping in his tracks when he arrived at Brian's side and got a good view of the man that Brian was glaring at.

“You can't be here. Get out!” He angrily directed at Michael, once he had recognised the man, not having expected to see the man at all.

“You can't force me, Boy Wonder,” Michael just hissed, glaring at Justin in return.

“My name is Justin. Justin Taylor. I am sure you must have seen it printed on the RESTRAINING ORDER that was issued against you,” Justin hissed, giving Michael his best angry glare.

“Why am I not surprised to see you here as well? I should have known that you would come back and milk Brian for all he's worth once your miserable attempt at being a painter failed,” Michael threw at him and Justin could just laugh while Brian muttered an angry 'How dare you?' in Michael's direction.

“Yeah, my career is really in the gutter... Selling paintings in the high four figures and five figures is really a failure. I am sure my mom and partner would be so much prouder of me if I were a convicted felon working as a cleaner because that's all I would be allowed to do after trying to kidnap another man's child. Wait, last time I checked you didn't have a mom and a partner. I wonder if there's anyone you can milk for money since it sure as hell won't be Brian any longer.”

“Shut up, Boy Wonder. You don't know anything,” Michael yelled at him, only stopping when he saw a nurse and a member of security walk up to them.

Apparently their shouting had caused quite a bit of attention and had made them come over.

“Sirs, is everything alright?” The security man asked, looking from Brian to Justin and Michael.

“We have a restraining order against that man. He can't be anywhere near either of us or our family. He came up to me and accosted me,” Brian explained, nodding at Michael.

“You are not supposed to speak to the patients,” the nurse said, directing her statement at Michael.

“We are old friends,” Michael said. “We know each other.”

“We are not friends. We haven't been in almost ten years,” Brian hissed, taking Justin's hand in his, trying to draw some strength from the man at his side.

“I'll give our lawyer a call and will have him send you the restraining orders,” Justin said calmly. “This man can't be anywhere close to me or my partner.”

“Partner? You are nothing more than a convenient piece of blond boy ass,” Michael spit, not able to help himself. “Brian doesn't do love or relationships.”

“Really? How would you know? You spent the last eight years in prison for helping Lindsay to kidnap MY SON! You know nothing about Brian, me or our family,” Justin hissed.

“A son you didn't even know about because he never told you. He didn't trust you to be man enough to be a father,” Michael spat and it was that moment when Brian got up from the chair he had been sitting in, ready to physically hurt Michael.

Justin put his hand on Brian's arm and forcefully pulled him back into his seat. Their eyes met in silent conversation and Justin made it clear that he would be dealing with this one. In the end Brian just nodded, giving in, knowing that Justin was more than capable of defending himself.

“I've had enough. I am calling the police,” Justin announced, pulling out his phone.

“For what? How was I supposed to know that he would be here?” Michael asked, not able to believe that he had done anything wrong.

“You couldn't. But the moment you realised it, you should have removed yourself from the situation. Instead you decided that the restraining orders didn't apply to you and you decided that you had a right to approach Brian. Which you don't have! Both Brian and I have given you enough chances to leave which you didn't. I am tired of your insults and insinuations. The police can deal with you,” Justin said coldly, ready to make the call.

“Brian, you won't let him talk to me like that, will you?”

“You should be glad that he's dealing with you. If it were me, you'd walk out of here with broken bones,” Brian said in a deathly quiet voice that made it very obvious to everyone around that his words weren't just an empty threat.

“But Brian, I am your...,” Michael started, but was interrupted by Justin's harsh voice.

“If you were to end that sentence with best friend, you need more than just the police. You need help, Michael! You haven't been anyone's friend in more than eight years. You stopped being Brian's friend when you tried to have his son kidnapped. You stopped being anyone's friend when your obsession with Brian made you lose everything. You lost your husband, your son, your daughter, your family. You lost your mother and all your friends over your misguided actions. Wake up, Michael. You don't have any friends.”

“Shut up, bottom boy,” Michael yelled, ready to lunge at Justin.

The security man jumped in at that point and held Michael back. “Okay, this is enough. We will deal with this. I don't think there is any need for police here, but if you insist, that is your call,” he nodded in Justin's and Brian's direction.

“Just get him out of my sight,” Brian hissed.

“He won't bother you any longer,” the security man promised, pulling a struggling Michael away.

The nurse looked at Brian and Justin apologetically. “I am sorry about this. We weren't aware that there were restraining orders in place,” she said quietly and both Brian and Justin just nodded.

“I'll have our lawyer send over a copy, so you can have it for your files,” Justin said quietly, feeling his anger leave his body. “He can't be here for my partner's future treatments,” Justin said, his voice not allowing for any contradiction from her.

“Of course not. He won't be,” the nurse promised, before leaving the two men alone, assuring some of the other patients that everything was okay and the situation had been resolved.

“Are you okay?” Justin asked quietly as he sat down in the empty chair at Brian's side, looking at the lost expression on his partner's face.

Brian just nodded, not meeting Justin's eyes.

Justin knew that Brian was not okay, how could he, but he also knew that now was not the time to pressure Brian into talking about this encounter. And this was definitely not the right place either.

He took Brian's hand, holding it in his own, squeezing every once in a while, watching his partner in concern as Brian just stared ahead. Justin knew that they would have to talk about this and they would. But later. In the privacy of their home when it was just the two of them.