To Have & to Hold Forever

This story is a sequel to "Sickness & Health, Good Times & Bad", along with other stories in the "Together Forever" Series.  You don't have to read those stories first but this story will make more sense if you do.

Brian and Justin are established partners, sharing custody of Gus and raising Brian's nephews. 

I don't own the original QAF characters just the situations I create.  No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 11

Once the babies were fed, John joined Peter out by the pool.  John's summer soccer team wouldn't start practice for a couple weeks.  Kinnetik was the team sponsor again this year.  Peter's advanced math class would start next week. It was two days a week for six weeks.

John & Peter swam for a while before climbing on the floating lounge chairs.  John looked over at his brother.

"So are you happy with your decision to call Justin Papa?"

Peter smiled.

"Yes!  I know it still sounds a little awkward and I understand that it kind of hurts your feelings.  I never wanted to do that; to hurt your feelings.  You have been an amazing big brother.  I know I can always depend on you.

The thing is I always felt guilty because I understood that you were just a kid like me, but you always felt responsible to take care of me.  I was never as self-confident or a strong as you were.  I always felt it was unfair that you had all the responsibility on your shoulders.

When we came to stay here it was the first time I trusted adults to look out for me.  I love you and will always be grateful to how you have always looked out for me.   I want us to be brothers to be kind of equal.  I really want you to enjoy not having adult responsibilities.

I just really connected with Uncle Justin from the beginning.  You don't have to smirk, I know he is our uncle!  He didn't really do anything special; he just paid attention to me; he just cared about me.  I didn't feel that anyone else, except you, had ever really cared about me.  It was exciting and interesting when he involved me in the Bloom Gallery business.  I was crazy happy and proud when he took me to San Francisco.

I feel like I want the world to know that he is more than an uncle to me.  It might be a silly thing but it makes me happy."

John smiled.

"The uncles are both kind of great.  I admit my feelings were a little hurt when you got so close to Uncle Justin.  I also realized it was a relief to not have to worry about you so much.  I guess I understand wanting to make sure people know how special your relationship is with Uncle Justin."

Peter had a big smile on his face.

"Thanks big Bro!"

Peter followed that statement up by tipping John's lounger and sending his big brother into the water.  John quickly retaliated and soon they were both holding on to the side of the pool and laughing.

A couple hours later the boys were still hanging outside when Justin came down from his studio.  He was surprised to see Brian walking around the family room cuddling Liam.  Brian looked over at him with a big smile.

"Sunbeam was a little fussy.  I think he just needed some Daddy time."

Justin came over to Brian and put his arm around his waist.  They both gazed down at their son.  Liam had his eyes wide open and did seem quite content in his Daddy's arms.  Lily was asleep in the bassinet and Cassie was keeping busy filling bottles.

Alice had just taken a load of baby stuff from the dryer and was folding everything at the kitchen island.  Justin looked out the doors at John & Peter relaxing on the patio.  He saw Charlie come over and talk with John.  John put on his shoes and shirt and followed Charlie.  Justin thought John must be going to help with some gardening chore.  Peter grabbed a book and settled on a lounger.

A contented Justin sighed and rested his head on Brian's shoulder.  Brian chuckled but did give the blonde head on his shoulder a quick kiss.

"Liam, Papa came to spend time with us.  How lucky are we."

In response Liam yawned and his eyes closed.  Brian shrugged and put his sleeping son into the bassinet next to his sister.

"Well I was happy you came and spent some time with us.  I guess the excitement was too much for our son."

 Justin chuckled.  Brian gave Justin a kiss and headed back to the study.  Cassie was finished with bottle preparation.  She came over and took the bassinet, with the sound asleep twins inside, up to the nursery.

Justin went over to confer with Alice.  She planned to make the baby food when the twins were ready.  She and Justin were working in what she should make and how it should be prepared.   Justin was filled with opinions and information he had gotten off the internet.  Alice's input was based on her experience and her knowledge of food preparation.

QAF-QAF-QAF-QAF

Late that morning Joan Kinney struggled to sit up in bed.   She slept past the start of daily Mass.  It seemed to her that she was always tired lately and no matter how early she went to bed, waking up in the morning was difficult.  She slipped her feet in her slippers, every morning now they seemed to get a little tighter.

Joan walked slowly into the bathroom.  She took a washcloth off the shelf, wet it and wiped her face.  As she looked in the mirror it seemed to her that the whites of her eyes looked a little yellow.  She decided she really needed to cut down on her vodka intake.  Yellow eyes could be a sign of liver trouble.

Joan cautiously made her way down to the kitchen.  This morning instead of her usual half orange juice, half vodka, Joan settled for just a splash of vodka.  It tasted bad and Joan found herself bent over the kitchen sink vomiting.  Afterwards she settled for a glass of water before settling in her chair and reading the bible.

QAF-QAF-QAF-QAF

Jennifer was discussing a home inspection report with one of her agents when the receptionist let her know there was a Melanie Marcus was waiting to see her.   Jennifer chuckled and said to send Melanie back to her office.  The agent wished her good luck and left the office.

Jennifer stayed seated behind her desk.  When Melanie appeared in the office doorway, Jennifer indicated the guest chairs in front of the desk.    "Have a seat Melanie."

Melanie sat down, looking annoyed.

"Sorry to just pop in unannounced.  I had an appointment not far from here and took a chance that you would be available."

Jennifer looked intently at her visitor.

"So Mel what can I do for you?"

"I guess you have heard that we have canceled our move to Florida."

Jennifer simply nodded.

"I'm hoping that means you will cancel your campaign against me.  I need to be able to make a living to support my family.  I have to say I was surprised by some of your actions.  You and Debbie were really out for blood."

Jennifer continued to just look at Melanie for a few moments.

"Surprised?  Melanie dear, you never cease to amaze me.  I feel I made myself very clear to you and Lindsay.  I will always do whatever I can to protect my sons.  I honestly consider you and Lindsay to be quite ungrateful for ALL the assistance Justin and Brian have provide you.  Not only monetary assistance but emotional support, childcare and school tuition for JR and actually yourself.  You could only resume your law career because Justin and Brian paid for your continuing education classes.

I feel you accepted all that assistance and then attempted to sneak out of Pittsburgh like thieves in the night.  I believe that was disgraceful behavior on your part and to be honest I will NEVER trust you again.

You thought only of yourself and what you wanted.  JR & Gus love their Pittsburgh family.  I'm sure Gus would have called his Daddy and Papa to let they know where he was.  I believe, to prevent that call, you would have taken Gus's phone away from him.  The phone he was given to help him deal with the anxiety you and Lindsay were causing him with your shouting matches.

I imagine you would have told Gus some story about his fathers being too busy with their new babies to have time for him.  You already tried that lie to block a weekend visit.  That would have been a horrible thing to do to Gus.  I am determined to protect ALL my boys.

 I trust you now completely understand that I was not making idle threats about fucking with your life."

Melanie's eyes were wide open with shock.  She looked at a composed Jennifer, her blue eyes cold & hard, sitting back in her desk chair with her arms crossed.

"Well as I said we have canceled our planned move and I hope there is no longer any reason for you to interfere in my professional life. You have no idea how terrified Lindsay is of her parents.  I was hoping putting a little distance between them and us would help her recover more completely.

I was not being entirely selfish in planning the move to Florida."

Jennifer nodded.

"Ahh yes, the loathsome abusing father and the neglectful mother, mostly interested in not upsetting her life.  No thought to how traumatized her child would be.  Anything sound familiar Mel?"

Melanie bristled.

"I am nothing like Nancy Peterson."

"Yes, that's true.  Nancy just ignored the trauma her child was experiencing.  You were planning to cause the trauma to your children."

Melanie grabbed her briefcase and stood up to leave.

"I have mentioned before that you never give an inch."

"That is because I am appalled by so many of your life decisions and your behavior to those who you owe so much to.  I don't have any more time to waste with you so goodbye."

Mel looked like she might have something else to say but thought better of it.  She turned and left the office.  She was honest enough to admit that she didn't argue further with Jennifer because there was some truth in what she had to say.

Jennifer started in on the paperwork stacked on her desk.

QAF-QAF-QAF-QAF

After the babies' afternoon feeding Justin was in his studio checking his emails.  He was surprised to see one from his Grandmother Taylor.  She congratulated him on the birth of his son & daughter. Justin smiled at that comment which started him thinking about this complicated family relationship. 

Justin had always enjoyed spending time with his Taylor grandparents.  They had always been interested in him & Molly and been generous with gifts on all special occasions.  He could not forget how they had stopped all contact after he came out.  Justin wasn't sure he could forgive that abandonment.

His grandmother went on to write about she and his grandfather shock over Allison & her pregnancy.  They were horrified that her betrayal played a role in Craig's suicide.  She also wrote that she was very disappointed that she didn't have a chance to talk to Justin & Molly at the funeral.  Justin was assured that it was never their desire to keep him or Molly away from the funeral.  Brad had no right to tell Jennifer that and she had argued with her son about his actions.

Janet closed the email by hoping to hear back from Justin and that they could get together soon.  Justin sat back in his chair.  He had a million thoughts all going through his head.  He quickly realized that his grandmother had not mentioned Brian.  There had also been no hint of an apology for never contacting him or Molly over the years.

Justin's reply was short.  "Thanks for the congratulation on the birth of Liam Victor and Lily Jennifer.  Brian and I are delighted with the additions to our family."

He was happy with the tone of his reply.  Justin felt it let his grandmother know his feelings and that she, like Craig, had to accept his relationship with Brian if she wanted to be a part of his life.

That night after giving Lily & Liam their 11 o'clock bottle, Justin let Brian know about the email.  Brian was as always dubious about any contact with Craig Taylor or his family.  He was also, as always, ready to support Justin in whatever he wanted to do about his grandparents.

Justin admitted he didn't know how he felt about the grandparent situation but he'd let Brian know when he made up his mind about it.  Brian chuckled and told his Sunshine to let him know the final decision and in the meantime just go to sleep.

The twins took it easy on their fathers and slept for 4 hours before waking up hungry and with dirty diapers.

QAF-QAF-QAF-QAF

The next morning Jennifer called to invite herself to lunch.  She used the excuse that she wanted to see Liam & Lily.  That was true of course but she also wanted to discuss the Melanie/Lindsay situation.

Jennifer arrived early for lunch and was met at the door by Justin.

"Come on in Mom.  You are just in time to see Lily and Liam having bottles.  Brian and Cassie are feeding them."

He led the way to the family room.  Jennifer was surprised to see Brian feeding Liam.  She knew from Justin and her own observations that Brian was besotted with Lily and the baby seemed to already be attached to her Daddy.

Justin saw his mother looking at Brian and Liam.  He chuckled.

"Daddy is an equal opportunity bottle feeder."

Brian looked up with a smile.

"Grandmom Jen, I am never going to play favorites.  I plan to spoil Princess and Sunbeam equally.  I have no control over the fact that Princess loves her Daddy the best."

Jennifer laughed but kept her eye on Justin to see if he looked upset.  Her son just shook his head.

"No one ever accused Brian of false modesty."

Brian lifted his face and Justin leaned over to give him a kiss.  Alice working in the kitchen looked over at Jennifer and they both smiled, at the antics of their boys, while rolling their eyes.

Jennifer carefully examined her newest grandchildren as they took their bottles.  She couldn't believe how different the babies looked to her.  She made up her mind to visit frequently but wisely kept that thought to herself.

Once the babies were feed, Cassie took them up to the nursery.  Alice had the kitchen table set for lunch for two.  Brian gave Jennifer a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm sure that you and Justin will have a lot to talk about at lunch.  I am just going to catch up on my Kinnetik emails."

Jennifer placed a hand on Brian's arm.

"I was hoping to talk with you both over lunch.  I have some concerns I want to share with you.  Hopefully you will assure me I am worrying over nothing."

Justin and Brian shared a look as Alice grabbed another place setting.

Jennifer looked over at Alice.

"I am hoping you will join us as well.  I think you will have some opinion about my concerns."

Alice nodded and soon the table was set for four.  Alice had prepared soup and sandwiches.  They helped themselves before sitting down. 

Jennifer looked around the table.   "Let's all at least eat our soup while it is still hot."

When she has finished her soup, Jennifer sat back in her chair.

"I had a visitor at the office yesterday, Melanie stopped by and asked me, and I quote, to cancel my campaign against her.  Can you imagine the gall of that woman; acting like she is an injured party. I left her with no doubt about how I felt about her behavior.

The thing is that as we talked, I let her know how selfish I believe she acted.  I told her that Gus and JR love being around their family here in Pittsburgh and would be upset by the move away from all of us.  For the first time I thought about how traumatized Gus would be to be taken away from you and his new siblings. 

I realized that he would call you on his phone if they took him away.  I think they would have to take that phone away from him and feed him some bullshit story about you being too busy with the twins to spend time with him."

Justin could feel Brian tense up beside him.  He put his hand over Brian's hand resting on the tabletop and gave it a gently squeeze.  Brian stayed silent but Justin looked over at his mother.

"Gus did call us from school to tell us about the Florida move when he overheard his mothers talking about it."

Alice's face was flushed with indignation.

"If those bitches know about that call than Jennifer is right.  They would have to take Gus's phone away from him.  He would always call you boys if they moved him away."

Jennifer nodded in agreement.

"Melanie tried to gain sympathy by saying how frightened Lindsay is by living in the same city as Nancy and Ron.  As angry as I am with Melanie and Lindsay, I certainly would never allow those degenerates to cause any problems.  Justin, you and I both know too much about what happened in that house to allow them to cause any trouble.  

I told Melanie that she was nothing like Nancy.  Nancy looked the other way and ignores her child's trauma, which is reprehensible.  I told Melanie that if they moved Gus away and cut his contact with you that she would be the cause of his trauma, which is worse than just ignoring the trauma.

Brian, I can see how upset you are, and I apologize if I am overreacting.  I just do not trust Melanie.  She is so jealous of you, I'm not sure what she might do."

Brian smiled grimly across the table.

"Mom I am trying my best to not drive right now to Melanie's office and beat her to death with my bare hands.  Like you I didn't think far enough into this planned move to realize they would have to cut off our communications with Gus.

I know, even if I don't verbalize it, that you will always be in my corner.  I appreciate that support more than I can say.  Thank you for everything but especially for coming here today."

Brian calling her "Mom" brought tears to Jennifer's eyes.  She reached across the table and Brian took her hand.  He looked at Alice and saw another person that would always be there for support.

"Alice that goes for you too.  I know you and Charlie are always here to help and support us.  As we all know I am not someone who easily talks about feeling but knowing how devoted you both are to Gus's happiness and well-being means the world to me."

Justin's hand found its way to a familiar spot on Brian's thigh.  His own message of support to his partner as he entered the conversation.

"Brian and I have talked about Gus's custody about a hundred times in this past year.  Always our main concern is Gus's happiness.  He never seems reluctant to return to his mothers when he leaves here.  He even said he missed his mothers and JR when he stayed her last summer. 

We have always decided to leave custody as it is now.  There is no denying that it will disrupt Gus's life if we attempt to get primary custody."

Brian didn't say anything but nodded his head in agreement.

Alice spoke up.

"I know I am not actually a family member and I do not want to overreach but Gus often tells Charlie and me how much he loves staying here.  Gus has told me that he likes it here because everyone is always happy and there is no yelling."

Brian surprised them all.  He looked across the table at Alice.

"I am a little surprised that you haven't paid more attention to Mother Taylor and her description of family.  She is a huge proponent of the "love" family theory rather than a "blood" family theory.  From my perspective you and Charlie are truly members of our love family."

Justin had a huge sunshine smile on his face as he turned to kiss Brian.  Alice had tears of happiness running down her cheeks.  Jennifer took Alice's hand, she had a big smile on her face as she looked over at Brian, her "love" son.

Brian thanked Jennifer for sharing her thoughts on Melanie and Gus's custody.  He said that he & Justin had a lot to talk about and decisions to make.  In the meantime, he suggested they all enjoy their lunch.

When he was finished his lunch, Brian thanked Jennifer & Alice for their concern & support.  He gave Justin a quick kiss on the top of his head before disappearing to the study.

Alice started to clear the table, both Jennifer and Justin stood up to help her but she insisted they sit and relax.  Jennifer suggested that Justin might want to join Brian in the study.  Justin smiled.

"No, Brian needs some alone time.  The thought of Gus being traumatized by being taken away from him by Melanie and Lindsay has him thinking about what to do.  He needs time to work through his feelings before we decide how to proceed."

Jennifer chuckled.

"Well Honey, where Brian is concerned you certainly know best."

Justin nodded.

"I told you I got the email from Grandmother Taylor.  I'm still not sure what I want to do about that situation.  I think it would be kind of mean to not let them meet Lily and Liam.  I'm not sure I want them involved in my life but it's not right to deprive them of a look at their great grandchildren."

"You know that allowing them to meet the twins will mean they are involved in your life."

Justin sighed.

"Yes!  That is why I haven't decided anything yet.  Now I think we need to decide what to do about Gus's custody before I deal with the Taylor grandparents."

Justin & Jennifer chatted together until Alice brought a pot of tea over to the table.  The three of them enjoyed tea and conversation until Jennifer announced it was time for her to leave.

Justin saw his mother to the door and then headed down the hall to the study.  It was time for some discussion and to decide on how to proceed.

QAF-QAF-QAF-QAF

That morning Joan felt so sick that she skipped morning mass.  She did call another regular mass goer to let her know that she was feeling a little under the weather but was fine.  Joan did not want anyone calling Brian.  She knew that if Brian showed up here he would insist she see a doctor.

As she examined her sallow complexion and the yellow tint to her eyes, she did not want anyone showing up and questioning her.  Her skippers were too tight to be comfortable, so she went barefoot downstairs and made some soft-boiled eggs over toast for her breakfast.

Joan added only a small dollop of vodka to her orange juice and congratulated herself on her self-control.  She knew she would have to cut way back on her vodka consumption.  Joan understood there was something wrong with her liver and her alcohol consumption was causing the issue.

QAF-QAF-QAF-QAF

When Justin opened the study door and walked inside, Brian was looking out a window at their fruit orchard.  The trees were losing their blossoms which fell to earth like a colorful rain shower.  Brian knew who came into the room and didn't feel the need to acknowledge his partner.

Justin settled on the sofa and sat silently until Brian joined him.  Brian reached over and took Justin's hand in his.  Justin was a little surprised by the move but smiled at Brian.  

"I love you Mr Kinney."

Brian chuckled.

"If I was as sure about everything else in life as I am about that fact, life would easy.  What do we need to do Sunshine?  Is it right to disrupt Gus's life just because we are suspicious of Melanie?

We both know what a happy little guy Gus is, do we take a chance of robbing him of that happiness just because one of his mothers is a sneaky, lying bitch?"

Justin was quiet for a moment.

"Or do we ignore the obvious warning signs and take the chance on Gus being forcibly moved away from us.  That would certainly end any happiness for him.  Most everyone realizes that Gus loves being surrounded by his family.  I can't forget how thrilled he was by Thanksgiving and Christmas here in Pittsburgh.

I also can't forget how different his Christmas could have been if he was punished for smacking his obnoxious little sister.  You and I stopped any thoughts of punishment right in its tracks."

Brian sighed.

"Well we understand the dilemma.  What we don't know is the correct way to proceed."

Justin squeezed Brian's hand.

"I think it is important we don't make any hasty decisions.  How about as a first step, I call Anabel Harper and ask what our chances are for getting primary custody.  I think that is important for us to know as we consider the options."

Brian nodded.

"Call Larry Buchanan, Sunshine.  He is our attorney; I don't want to offend him by going directly to Anabel.  He can refer us to Anabel if he thinks it is necessary."

Justin agreed and they both went upstairs to the nursey to check on their son & daughter.  Time spent with Liam & Lily was a great escape from the problems in their life.