Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Author's Chapter Notes:
Well, only one more chapter to go folks.  I really appreciate all the great reviews and I've enjoyed getting to know you all.  I hope you like the way I decided to end it.  The next story coming up is called Slave of Circumstance.  I'll be working on Collar Bound as well.  Even though I know CB is a sequel, I'm still feeling a bit sad about ending LB...LOL.  Thanks for reading you guys!

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Brian lifted his head, looked at the sleeping man lying next to him, and smiled.  He’d found himself staring at Justin for no apparent reason on many occasions.  There was something surreal in watching the slow, gentle rise and fall of his Master’s chest.  He rubbed his cheek very lightly against the firm shoulder and immediately felt strong arms tighten around him.  The smile on his face grew as he settled himself close to his Master’s body.  Even while Justin slept, Brian never doubted that he was always first in this man’s thoughts.

Brian’s fingers gently rubbed across Justin’s chest in an absent-minded fashion.  It had been two weeks since that fateful dinner at Deb’s.  He was still amazed at how Justin was able to effortlessly draw Michael into their circle.  His fingers brushed over the soft, pale skin lightly as his mind traveled back over the events taking place during the past two weeks.  Jake and Miguel had gone back to New York to get things in order for their relocation to Pittsburgh.  Christian and Alex had left a few days later and actually seemed to be seriously discussing the possibility of relocating to the Pitts themselves. 

Brian was actually missing Alex, Miguel, and Christian, which was a completely new concept to him.  He’d never really missed anyone except Michael, so these feelings  were foreign and new.  If he was completely honest, he’d be forced to admit he even missed Jake just a bit.  It seemed things had changed after the dinner at Deb’s, and he no longer felt threatened by the man.  He still couldn't claim to be friends with him, but there was no reason to call him an enemy either.

Brian placed a gentle kiss on Justin’s chest.  In less than a week, he’d be wearing this man’s collar.  For quite awhile now, he’d been living as if he already wore Justin’s collar, but just knowing that he’d be wearing the visible proof of what he’d been feeling, gave him a sense of inner peace unlike anything he’d ever known.  A part of him felt as if he should be apprehensive, but he felt none of the expected fear.  Hell, he’d even agreed to let Emmett plan the party.  At first, he’d wanted things to remain private between him and Justin, but after some thought, he’d decided that he wanted his friends to be there.  He wanted them to share in his happiness, and yes, as lesbianic as it sounded, he was truly happy.

Justin kissed the top of Brian’s head and yawned.  “Stop thinking so hard, cookie.  I can smell the smoke from your frying brain.”

Brian laughed softly.  “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Justin smiled and tightened his arms around Brian.  “You can wake me anytime.  Are you nervous?”

Brian took a deep breath and shook his head.  “No, surprisingly I’m not.  I was just thinking about the ceremony and wondering if maybe…”

Justin reached up and cupped Brian’s cheek, rubbing his thumb lightly across his boy’s lips.  “What were you wondering?”

Brian ducked his head to rub a cheek against Justin’s shoulder.  “I was thinking of asking Mikey to come.”

Justin combed his fingers through Brian's hair and forced himself to remain relaxed.  There was no way he was going to cause his boy any more anxiety over this matter, even if he wasn’t exactly sure it was a good idea.  Sure, Michael had come a long way over the past two weeks, but this could backfire, and that wasn’t acceptable at all.  No one was allowed to hurt his boy if he had any say in the matter.  “If you want him to be there, then you should ask him.  I just don’t want you to get your hopes up, cookie.  He may not be ready for this.”

Brian sighed.  “I know, Master.  I just feel that this is something I need to do.  If he doesn’t want to come, I’ll be fine.  I just need to know that I did all I could.”

Justin kissed the top of Brian’s head again.  “I’ll support any decision you make.”

Brian lifted his head and grinned.  “I know that.  I was also thinking about Alex and Miguel.”

“You still want them to come, right?”

Brian nodded and let his fingers trail around Justin’s neck and whispered, “Yeah.  I miss them.”

Justin smiled.  His boy had certainly come a very long way from the man he’d picked up outside Babylon.  Brian was beginning to ask for what he wanted and needed as well as to share his thoughts and dreams.  It really was like watching a rosebud open up as each petal spread and formed the perfect shape of the rose.  He wasn’t deluding himself.  Brian still had a long way to go on this journey, but so did he.  It just seemed that for the first time, he could relax just a bit.  They were going to make this journey together, and that was all that was important.  “I’m sure they miss you too, cookie.  I’m really glad you liked them.  I wanted you to have people you could talk to, besides me.”

Brian chuckled softly.  “Not so long ago, I’d have told you talking was for lesbians.”

“Well, maybe the lesbians have the right idea about talking to each other.”

“Well, some of their forms of communication are enough to scar me for life.”

Justin rolled over flipping Brian onto his back laughing.  “You mean you don’t have wet dreams of watching two lesbians having hot, passionate sex?”

"Sure I do, but only when I'm trying to kill an erection. Or trying not to come too fast."

Justin laughed again as he lowered his head to kiss Brian’s chin. “Hmmm, let’s test that method shall we?”

Brian felt his body responding to the sexy, low timbre of Justin’s voice.  “I think you might be able to help me with that.”

Justin nibbled around Brian’s neck gently biting the ear lobe.  “I’m not too sure.  I mean if you also say you’ll kill an erection, maybe I shouldn’t even attempt to prove you wrong.”

Brian squirmed and panted as his body reacted to each movement and word.  “I may have spoken out of turn.”

Justin lifted his head and sighed sadly.  “No, I don’t think we should risk it.  I mean, I’d be just devastated if I found out you couldn't get it up.”

Brian groaned in frustration and tried to rub his body against Justin’s to prove he was already very hard.  “I was wrong.”

Justin chuckled softly.  “Does my boy need something?”

Brian growled, “Yes!  I need my Master to fuck me.”

Justin grabbed Brian’s wrists and slammed his arms overhead roughly.  He held Brian's arms in place as he gazed into his eyes, watching them darken with desire. “What if Master wants to make love to you?”

Brian’s eyes widened, watching Justin’s face.  He swallowed hard, not sure why he felt so cold.  They hadn’t really ever discussed this before.  It was just easier for him to relate to everything on a sexual level instead of an emotional one, and as he continued to stare into his Master’s eyes, he saw things that should have terrified him.  The intensity alone should have sent him running for the door, but he stood his ground and continued to stare.  He knew he was revealing things he wasn’t sure he was ready to reveal, but it was time to allow his Master total access. 

Justin felt Brian stiffen and then relax as he continued to look into his boy’s face.  He read everything…the fear, the longing, the hope, the devastation.  It was the first time he felt as if all the walls between them were gone.  “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever known…inside and out.”

Brian swallowed hard and his breath caught in his throat.  “You make me believe anything is possible…even if I don’t know what it means.”

“That’s because anything is possible for us.  We decide.  We don’t have to live up to anyone else’s expectations but our own.  Right now, I want to make love to my boy.  I want to show you how much I cherish the gift you give me.”

Brian felt his heart rate quicken, and it was becoming difficult to breathe.  He licked his lips and nodded.  “I want that too, Master.”

Justin lowered his head and nibbled on his boy’s lips before pushing his tongue inside, seeking, finding, and dominating.  His hands claimed every inch of skin they could reach with gentle squeezes and light touches.  He broke the kiss and moved his mouth to Brian’s neck, kissing softly, and growled, “I can’t wait until my collar is around your neck.”

Brian moaned, raising his hips and rubbing his hard cock against Justin's.   He kept his hands above his head without physical restraints.  He could feel the cuffs around his wrists even though none were present.  His skin was on fire and his heart was pounding inside his chest.  He wondered if he’d survive this slow onslaught of his senses.  “Master…”

Justin murmured unintelligible words as he kissed his way down Brian’s chest, pausing to suck each nipple before moving lower.  After a few moments of licking and nibbling across the taut skin of Brian's stomach, he finally let his tongue make contact with the hard, leaking erection, drawing a slow, wet path from the base to the tip before swirling around the head, teasingly slow.

Brian sucked in a deep breath and released a strangled moan as he forced himself to relax.  It took every ounce of his resolve to keep from thrusting his hips upward, seeking the warm heat of Justin's throat.  “Oooooh fuck.”

Justin took his time, his tongue teasing, enjoying the sounds his boy was making.  His fingers searched out pleasure points, and he used every bit of his skill to slowly push Brian closer and closer to the edge.

Brian was panting, fighting to keep still, so focused on that he was barely aware of Justin positioning himself between his legs.  It wasn’t until he felt the first stretching burn of the latex-covered hardness slowly pushing inside him that he became aware of what was happening.  His entire body was quivering with the need to move, to thrust, to make the ache go away, but he remained perfectly still as his Master sank deep inside.

Justin leaned down to kiss his boy’s chest, whispering, “I don’t expect you to say anything, but I wanted you to know…I love you, cookie.”

Stars exploded behind Brian’s eyes as he felt the first strong thrust.  The words he’d heard and the pleasure all seemed to mingle inside him, until he was lost.  His body reacted violently, and he came before he was given permission. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.  I couldn’t hold off any longer.”

Justin slammed into his boy and groaned his pleasure a few seconds later.  “It’s alright, cookie.”

Brian wrapped his arms around his Master and held on tightly, closing his eyes.  He needed to meet Mikey but he also needed to feel this connection with Justin.  He wanted to tell Justin that he loved him, but he still wasn’t sure what love really was, so he decided to be blunt.  “Master, I don’t know if what I feel for you is love or not, because I’m not sure what love feels like.  All I know is that I like it when we’re together and I miss you when we’re apart.  I haven’t even felt the need or desire to trick in a long time, but that doesn’t mean I won’t ever do it again…I just don’t know.”

Justin smiled and kissed his boy’s cheek.  “That’s good enough for me, cookie…for now.”

Brian watched Justin start to drift off, thinking about what he’d said. He really didn’t know if this was love or not, all he was sure of was that it was something he wouldn't want to do without, and that he'd miss if it weren't there anymore. He suddenly had an image of what his life would be if Justin were gone, and got a sick, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach when he though about going back to the loft alone, all the tricking, the nights partying at Babylon and nothing else. Maybe this really was love, but he wondered if it was important to give it a name or label. After all, that's what everyone else did, and he'd seen that it really was bullshit a lot of the time.

Brian slid closer to Justin, practically draping the other man with his body.  It didn’t seem important what label anyone put on it.  No one was forcing him to jump off any cliffs, so he could relax and enjoy what was happening instead of worrying over it. Yes, that was it.  He didn’t have to call it anything.  He could just show Justin how he felt through his actions and behavior, just like he’d been doing.  He’d made Justin happy these past months, so why change anything?  He froze as he realized that this was the first time in his life that someone else's happiness was so important to him that his own hinged on it completely.  He figured maybe it wasn't what everyone else called love, but if that was the case, it seemed to be a whole lot better than what passed for it.

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