Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Author's Chapter Notes:

Thank you for the well wishes; I'm not sure that I'm all that happy that it's turned out to be the flu, rahter than food poisoning, as both suck. But at least I no longer feel like I'm dying. Just half dead. Hopefully this next vignette isn't too bad off considering I'm drugged up on flu meds. 


 

January 20

Justin let out a sigh and clicked on yet another thing to add to his ever growing list. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and bit his lower lip as he scanned the seemingly endless offerings with more than a jaded eye. God, this was taking fucking forever, even with all the research he'd done prior to his undertaking.

Exhaling explosively, Justin read through yet another review of some recommended item that someone, (although, he couldn't remember who at the moment), had told him that he just needed this particular item to make his life easier. Sometimes, he felt more like he was planning a war campaign than planning for a baby. Who knew that something so small needed all this shit?

Thank God that, between his art career, Babylon and Kinnetik, Brian and he didn't really have to worry about the financial burden of having and supporting a child. He couldn't imagine how anyone could afford to have a child these days on an average salary. But then again, he guessed that was partially why registries were invented.

Justin wearily rubbed his eyes and added the…whatever the hell this thing was, to his list because at this point, he just didn't care. After building a list at two other stores, he was beyond done with anything baby related and wanted nothing more than to go curl up on the chaise lounge and take a nap. Closing his eyes, Justin shut out the world around him and gave himself a bit of a pep talk. He only needed to add a few more things and then he could shut the computer down and forget about it.

"Why are you on that site?" said an irritated voice by his ear, startling a strangled yelp out of Justin. He turned around, his hand clutching at his chest as he glared at his, now, snickering husband.

"Jesus Christ, Brian!" Justin groused, his heart still hammering in his chest as he turned around and faced the computer screen once more, all hints of fatigue gone. "Will you make some fucking noise when you come up behind me? You scared the shit out of me and I don't need the added stress."

"Hey, not my fault," Brian said, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. "I did make plenty of noise as I came in; but you were so intent on what you were doing, a marching band could have paraded by and you wouldn't have noticed. And you didn't answer my question; why are you on that site?"

"I'm setting up a baby registry," Justin sighed, his heart finally settling back into its natural rhythm. "I told you that."

"But Target?" Brian sneered, his disdain for the store all too apparent, but tough cookies. He wasn't going to set up a registry with Baby Prada or Saks Fifth no matter how much of a label queen his husband was; if Brian was intent on outfitting the kid in designer clothing, he could buy them himself.

"Not all of us are label queens, Brian," Justin rolled his eyes and added a baby bottle warmer to the list; actually, he put two on there as, this time, it was definitely something he found to be useful. Plus he did not want to be trekking all the way to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a bottle. "Be glad I didn't set one up at the Big Q."

"Over my dead body," Brian hissed indignantly, a scowl on his face. "I will burn anything that comes from that store."

"And just how would you know if there are no tags on the items," Justin snickered as he placed a travel bottle and food warmer on the list; it hadn't been something he'd originally considered, but it definitely sounded like a handy item to have for those times he was out and about.

"I'll know," Brian said in a snooty tone, making Justin roll his eyes again. "Anything that comes from that store is covered in layers of desperation and reeks of despair."

"You are such a snob," Justin huffed, clicking on the tab for his last item – diaper bags – and prayed that he found something that Brian would immediately toss in the trash. So far, every single one he'd seen had flowers or bright geometric designs or cutesy baby animals and there is no way in hell that Brian would ever carry one of those around. "I don't even know how I've put up with you all these years."

"You love me." Brian said with a certainty born of years of reassurances and quiet moments filled with love; and Justin couldn't help but smile that Brian could say that without any hesitance or question in his voice.

It had taken years for them to kill the very real demons in both of their lives and to feel this at ease with each other; to feel comfortable enough in their own skins to freely express their feelings without worrying if the other person would use them to further an agenda or throw them back in the other's face. And he would happily go through it all again if it meant that they ended up in this place here and now.

"I just don't see why we need a registry," Brian huffed, throwing himself on the couch. "It's not like we can't afford to get anything and everything we want or need. We're not exactly hurting for money, Sunshine."

"Because our family and friends will want to celebrate with us," Justin said, and then gave a triumphant cry when he found exactly what he was looking for in a nice, understated, solid charcoal black color. Now this Brian wouldn't heave all over the moment he saw it. Justin added it to the list and sat back with a sigh, feeling very accomplished with his day. "Besides, do you know what the lack of a registry says?"

Brian arched a brow in inquiry.

"It says, 'feel free to buy anything you want since we don't care what we get,'" Justin said, crossing his arms over his chest with a knowing smile. "Do you really want to give some of our friends and family that kind of freedom? If you're fine with that, I'll happily delete the list and do something else."

And he wouldn't really; but Brian didn't need to know that. He didn't spend three fucking hours on these lists just to delete them immediately; and if his husband even thought he would, he was crazy. Brian just grimaced at his words, but still looked reluctant to admit that Justin was right; so, Justin added more fuel to the fire with a perfect, recent event.

"I have a three-page to do list to get through; I have plenty to do to get us ready that doesn't include going through page after page of shit for a registry," he said, his hand hovering over the keyboard as if he were getting ready to delete the list. "However, if we don't make a registry or two and send them to everyone, I don't want to hear you bitching when Em buys more Rainbow Baby clothing."

"Okay, okay; you've made your point," Brian sighed, holding his hands up in surrender, and then frowned and sent Justin a sharp look. "And what do you mean you have a three-page to do list? Where is mine?"

Whoops; shit, he didn't mean to mention that.

"Brian," Justin said, and then quickly snapped his mouth shut when Brian's frown deepened and he sat up straight on the couch. Shit. This was going to be a fun conversation. "Look it's not a big deal; I'm home most of the day. You have a company to run. So, me taking on the bulk of the baby planning makes sense."

"Except that it sounds like you're doing everything, while I'm not doing a damned thing," Brian huffed with exasperation and then held out a hand. "I'm not okay with this, Sunshine. Let me see that list and I will divide it between us."

"And have you hand the list off to Yasmeen?" Justin huffed contentiously; and that was exactly the wrong thing to say judging by Brian's look. He knew that look. It was the same one he got when he'd told Brian that he was going to work for the Sap. It was his 'you are a complete idiot and I have no idea why I love you' look. "I know how busy you get, Brian. I'd rather just do it myself."

"I thought you liked and trusted Yasmeen," Brian said in a bland tone; Justin winced internally knowing there was no way that Brian was going to drop this now. "You said she was your favorite after Cynthia."

"I do," Justin said, trying to smooth the waters; the last thing he needed was Brian getting pissy, or worse, overprotective once again. "I just think that as it's our baby, it's our responsibility and we should be doing all of it ourselves."

Brian sighed and ran his hand through his hair, averting his eyes to the ceiling as if praying for strength. And Justin felt kind of bad for his continued fight over his need for independence, but he just couldn't help himself. He'd struggled and fought for it for so many years that he couldn't seem to put down his sword, even if it were for the best.

"You don't have to do it all by yourself, Sunshine," Brian said quietly, a wry smile on his face. And Brian would know that well considering he'd struggled with the same ghosts as Justin for many years. "It doesn't make you weak or helpless to ask for assistance; stop being a stubborn twat."

Justin looked away, a mulish expression on his face; he knew his husband was right. In fact, he would've probably drawn the same conclusions himself sooner rather than later. He just hated being cornered or pushed into something no matter how good it might be for him. And every time it happened, it made him want to dig his heels in.

"Look, I get it, okay," Brian said, standing and walking over to Justin; he pressed a small kiss to his temple as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "I really do. But, as much as our family is made up by mostly nosy, interfering Queens who can't keep a secret to save their lives, they love us and they want to be there. They are your family and they want to help you. You just have to ask."

Justin chewed on his bottom lip, but didn't say anything, still having trouble giving up his control over all things baby. It went against everything in him to let the reigns go to anyone other than Brian; and even then, they tended to butt heads and battled for dominance at times.

"You don't have to get them all involved," Brian continued, resting his chin on the top of Justin's hair. "Because God knows, it would drive me mad if they were all underfoot all the damned time."

Justin huffed out a laugh at that understatement of the year.

"But, you trust Emmett, though God only knows why, with the baby shower; surely he could be of some help."

Brian looked at him knowingly; Justin chewed on the tip of his thumb and remained silent, but did tilt his head to the side to show that he was listening to Brian's words.

"And there is your partner in crime, Blake; who has already been through all of this madness," Brian continued enumerating his potential allies, and Justin couldn't deny that what he said made sense. "And you know damned well that Mother Taylor could whip everyone into shape with a mere flick of her wrist."

Justin smiled as an image of his mother standing over Blake, Emmett and Brian, cracking a whip and demanding they get on with the show filled his head.

"So, utilize them," Brian finished, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"Okay," Justin sighed and then nodded, knowing damned well when he was beat.

"Good," Brian said, pulling back to give him one last severe look. "And you will give that list so I can take some of these items off you; and you won't ask me about them again. You know that I will get them done and I don't need you stressing yourself out and making yourself sick."

"Brian…" Justin said, but snapped his mouth shut when the severe look turned into a full on glare.

"Justin." Brian said implacably, holding out his hand.

Justin sighed and reluctantly handed over his prized list; Brian took it and started reading through it, a frown on his face. He sighed, shook his head and sent an exasperated look Justin's way before he walked over to his laptop and booted it up. He spent several minutes looking through the list and typing things into the computer, his fingers flying over the keyboard so fast they were almost a blur.

He then sat up, and clicked something on the screen a couple of times before the printer went on and spat out four sheets of paper. He walked over and pulled them off of the printer and looked them over for a moment. He folded two and put them into his pocket before walking over to Justin and handing him the remaining two.

"Thank you," Brian whispered, pressing his lips to the top of Justin's hair; Justin swallowed thickly, and fought back the tears that sprung up behind his eyes. God, these fucking hormones would be the death of him. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and murmured quietly. "This is supposed to be one of the happiest times in our lives. I want you well enough to enjoy it."

 

Chapter End Notes:

Also, I know that this chapter seems to be in direct contradiction to the previous chapter. However, there was a reason I didn't have Brian contradict him at the dinner. First off, Brian will always support Justin, even if he disagrees with his stance. But also, Brian didn't confront Justin on his need to hold tight to the baby reigns because he realized that Justin wasn't ready to hear it. He waited until now because he really did want Justin to come to his own conclusions; but when he heard about the three-page list, he decided to force the issue a bit for Justin's own good. Because really, Justin should be relying on his family right now no matter how much they might annoy him.

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