Sunday, 3:45 p.m., the loft…

“Home sweet home.” Brian announced, anchoring Justin’s hand around his arm after having shut the loft door. As he gazed at the blond’s face, he noticed the young man was trying to suppress a yawn. “You tired?”

Justin snorted. “I didn’t sleep much last night. I had an unexpected guest at three in the morning. Some people really need to improve their manners,” he declared with a straight face.

“Ahh. If I were you, I would have told them to fuck off,” Brian quipped as he headed toward the bedroom. “Careful. Three steps,” he cautioned when they arrived at the foot of the stairs.

Justin carefully followed Brian. “Luckily for you, I have manners,” he eventually responded.

Brian grinned at Justin’s repartee as he walked to the right side of the bed and stopped. “The man without manners wants you to rest now. You’re exhausted. And… luckily for you,” he deadpanned, “I have the best bed in all of Pennsylvania,”

Justin smiled. “Don’t tempt me,” he breathed out before raising his hand to Brian’s face. His fingers traveled across his skin to his neck, sending shivers down the brunet’s spine, the touch reflecting what the blond really wanted.

Securing Justin’s head by placing a hand at the back of his neck, Brian sighed as his mouth covered Justin’s, the blond’s lips immediately parting to allow his tongue in. Fuck, he would never get tired of kissing Justin, feeling those warm, plump lips pressing against his. He moaned in appreciation, his cock hardening in his pants. However, he knew if he didn’t stop this now, he would never be able to let Justin rest.

Reluctantly breaking the kiss, Brian placed his forehead against Justin’s and cupped his lover’s face. His eyes closed, he whispered, “You’re exhausted. We shouldn’t...”

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this?” Justin cut him off as he leaned back, his hands pulling on Brian’s shirt. Brian opened his eyes as Justin disclosed quietly, “I’ve constantly thought about having you inside me for the past month. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

Brian felt the last of his resistance vanish, and he grabbed Justin to bring their lips together again. Only this time, he didn’t hold back.

They both fell on the bed, thirsty for each other’s skin. Clothes were hastily pulled off, landing negligently on the floor. For once, Brian didn’t care about his clothing. All he wanted was Justin. It was insane how much he yearned to be inside him.

Brian finally covered Justin’s naked body with his own, abandoning himself to the overwhelming, feverish sensations flooding him. Relishing the incomparable feeling of skin on skin, he kissed Justin again and again, needing to hear him moan, to make him his, desperate to elicit cries of pleasure. Not wasting any time, he grabbed the lube from the nightstand and squeezed some onto his fingers, rubbing the liquid between them to warm it up. He nudged the blond’s knee so he would spread his legs and, within a few seconds, he was teasing Justin’s entrance, feeling his hole opening under his touch. Brian groaned, enthralled by the responsiveness of his lover.

Justin’s lips were parted, his head thrown back as he began to push against Brian’s fingers, wanting them inside him. Brian didn’t respond to his silent plea, but he knelt over Justin’s body to claim his lips, his hand moving to his lover’s balls and unmercifully teasing them. Justin’s muffled cries echoed against his lips.

“Brian,” Justin murmured as he broke their kiss. “Please…”

“Please what?” Brian inquired, leaning back, enraptured by the look on Justin’s face.

“Take me, suck me, fuck me. Just do something. Anything,” Justin half-demanded, half-groaned, Brian immediately shifting to lie next to the blond. Supporting himself on his elbow, he pushed one digit inside Justin. The blond pushed back, sighing in delight, begging for more. Brian complied and, adding a second finger, started to slide them in and out smoothly, his eyes feasting on the blond’s blissful expression.  

The brunet felt a sudden, unexpected rush of delight as he stared at his lover’s face, and he had to close his eyes to stop himself from just lifting Justin’s legs and pushing inside. “I want to fuck you so much,” he whispered, lowering his head to Justin’s ear, breathing heavily.

It was nothing like their first time together. That night, Brian had been so focused on Justin that he had refused to let himself go. Their coupling had been phenomenal nonetheless, but his current feelings nearly overpowered him. Brian suspected Justin’s absence from his life for the past few weeks was amplifying his desire, making this moment even more special.

“Brian…” Justin called out.

Brian let out a sigh and, as he understood the blond was ready, he grabbed a condom from the nightstand, and quickly put it on his dick before applying some lube.

“Hurry,” Justin tried to rush him as Brian placed both Justin’s ankles on his shoulders, before lining his cock up with the blond’s hole.

He was so fucking turned on by Justin’s obvious desire for him. Pausing to look at him, Brian felt something swell inside his chest, something he couldn’t explain.

“Do it,” Justin encouraged and Brian obliged, his face turning into a mask of pure pleasure as he felt the tip of his dick slowly entering Justin’s ass. As his shaft progressed, Justin tensed, making Brian stop immediately. “Don’t you dare,” Justin warned quietly as he felt his lover’s hesitation, placing his hands on the small of Brian’s back to encourage the man to resume his progress.

“Ahh, fuck!” Brian groaned in ecstasy, lowering his head as he felt the most wonderful, incredible heat surround his cock. Unable to control himself as arousal shot through him, he plunged in with a lustful gasp, the sound of his balls slapping against Justin’s skin echoing in the loft.

“God!” Justin shouted, making Brian instantly freeze. He would not forgive himself if he hurt Justin because of his impatience.

“Alright?” Brian breathed out in concern in Justin’s ear.

“Yeah…” Justin reassured him, caressing Brian’s back for a brief moment, before moving his hand along the brunet’s spine to his neck, guiding him down for a kiss.

As Brian’s lips captured Justin’s, he felt the tight grip on his cock slowly relaxing. He kissed his lover some more and caressed his hair, savoring the warmth of Justin’s mouth. Eventually, the blond tilted his hips, encouraging him to resume his thrusts. Brian leaned back, searching for any sign of discomfort on the blond’s face. When he saw none, he entwined his fingers with Justin’s, before slowly retreating and then pushing back in, his eyes never leaving his lover’s. He did it again, more forcibly this time, evoking a gasp from the blond. The sound caused a new rush of pleasure to ripple through Brian’s body, and he leaned in to claim Justin’s lips. Their smothered moans reverberated in each other’s mouths, causing a burning need to consume Brian, who began to rock in and out with renewed purpose.

“Fuck me,” Justin pleaded as he broke off their kiss. “Fuck me!” he repeated emphatically. Bending his lover’s legs so that he could penetrate deeper, Brian pulled back before slamming in effortlessly. He let go of all restraint, making beautiful moans spill out of Justin as, between hungry kisses and powerful thrusts, he licked and bit at that expanse of irresistible flesh.

Soon, both their bodies were coated with sweat. Brian slowed down his pace, wanting their coupling to last as long as possible, although he knew they couldn’t refrain from falling over the edge for much longer. Justin’s patience vanished pretty quickly, however, and he slammed his hips against Brian’s to spur the brunet to fuck him harder. Brian obliged, beginning to pound Justin’s ass again, sliding in and out, over and over, as he felt the tight channel milk his cock deliciously.

He suddenly released Justin’s legs and rolled them over. The sudden movement pulled Brian out of Justin, but the blond immediately positioned himself on top of the brunet’s cock and slid it back in. Adjusting to the new position with ease, he proceeded to drive Brian crazy with lust, moving up and down his shaft while squeezing it delightfully. Brian couldn’t look away from the perfect image of Justin wantonly fucking himself on his cock, while sporting a elated expression on his face. He eventually closed his eyes as he pushed his hips upward, matching Justin’s rhythm and feeling Justin tighten around him with each one of his thrusts. Raising one hand, he caressed Justin’s chest, flicking his nipples, and he cried out loudly as Justin’s channel constricted around his shaft more forcibly in response. He felt himself expand and swell inside his lover, while he aimed his thrusts at the blond’s prostate.

“Ohh… ohhhhh!” Justin screamed as he grabbed his lover’s hand. Brian opened his eyes and gasped as he witnessed Justin losing it, the blond’s hand covering his own and stroking rapidly up and down his shaft. The brunet’s thrusts became more erratic as he felt the first drops of Justin’s warm come spurting all over his skin. Hearing the bliss in Justin’s voice, he stared, mesmerized, at his lover’s face as he climaxed. His expression and the feeling of Justin spilling in his hand as the blond’s channel squeezed and milked his cock, made the brunet pass the point of no return. He froze deep inside Justin, crying out uncontrollably, the ultimate pleasure only the best orgasms could provide causing endless surges of come to erupt from his very core, almost overflowing the condom.

Brian collapsed then, with Justin in his arms. In truth, he probably passed out. He didn’t remember ever coming so hard in his entire life. Neither of them moved. They couldn’t move, their coupling having completely drained them.

Brian regained awareness, realizing his nose was buried in soft, blond hair. Justin had passed out and was sleeping plastered to the brunet’s body. Brian frowned as he felt something wet at his groin and he realized he hadn’t pulled out of Justin after his orgasm, his soft dick having partially slipped out nonetheless. He took hold of the condom very carefully, smiling as he felt more than heard Justin groan in protest against his shoulder.

Careful not to wake his lover, Brian disentangled himself from his embrace and slowly sat on the edge of the bed, tying off the condom and tossing it into the nearby trashcan. Once he had checked that the blond was indeed lost in a deep slumber, he stood up and walked to the bathroom, naked. He turned on the shower and stepped inside, letting the warm flow massage his shoulders, supporting himself with his hands on the tile. He then shut out thoughts of everything but the man sleeping in his bed.

He wasn’t sure exactly what the fuck it all meant, what Justin really meant to him. Why did he feel so connected to him? Why him? It didn’t make any sense.

Brian knew he was in love. For the first time in his life, he felt like he understood all those pathetic queers he had accused of turning into hetero wannabes. Love had always been a foreign, ridiculous concept for him, convinced he would never experience it. And yet, here he was. Pathetically in love.

All Brian had believed in until he’d met Justin was fucking. Sex couldn’t lie. When Brian desired someone, he just gave the man a look conveying exactly what he wanted. He didn’t try to be gentle, never asked for names. The men hanging out at Woody’s, at Babylon, the ones responding to a single flirtatious gaze, didn’t want a relationship. They wanted to get laid. It was perhaps inconceivable for people who couldn’t separate emotions from sex, but for those who could, it was the most honest thing on this fucking planet.

Sex. Personal satisfaction. Since his teens, it had always been Brian’s world. Love, on the other hand, was something he knew nothing about, for good reason. Until Justin, he had been convinced that was the biggest sham human beings had ever imagined.

As an escort, Brian responded to desire. Men wanted to feel good without worrying about their partner’s feelings. It was as simple as that. Brian was a body, nothing more, nothing less, most of the time anyway. There were always idealistic guys who fell in love with their escort. Matthew, for instance, cared too much. A couple of clients had fallen in love with his body, his attitude, and his good looks. Once Brian had fucked them, they’d fervently thought it was their duty to save him. They had proposed helping him out of this horrific business, mistaking him for a victim. Only, Brian wasn’t a victim. He had chosen to become an escort. He had accepted that his body could secure the income he needed. And he had made peace with his decision, mostly. Moreover, even though he didn’t have sex with a lot of clients, he still was hired as a sexual conquest.

In the end, it was always about sex.

Sex had defined his life until now, either as an ad man trying to reach the top, or as an escort offering sexual favors to earn a living. But all of a sudden, everything he believed in was challenged for a single reason.

He had fallen in love.

Brian felt like a newborn regarding his emotions. That’s probably why he didn’t trust himself not to fuck it up with Justin. Talking about how he felt wasn’t an option, since he wouldn’t have a clue as to what he was supposed to say.

However, there was one thing about love that he would never have anticipated. He didn’t feel trapped or smothered. He didn’t feel like he was being forced to turn into a stupid, straight caricature of himself to prove his feelings.

He felt truly happy, and as he stood there under the  cascading water, he laughed at his former self for being so clueless.

************************

Justin opened his eyes. Feeling the softness of the sheets covering him, he remembered what had occurred earlier that day. To say that his plan to take things slow hadn’t really worked would be an understatement, especially considering he was the one who had pursued Brian. Truthfully, the brunet touching him all the time to guide him could only have resulted in them falling into bed. But more than that, ever since this morning, Brian had been even more gentle than usual, demonstrating he genuinely wanted to move past their falling out.

That’s why Justin had caved in, and remembering the connection he’d felt with Brian brought a smile to his face.

He rolled onto his back, sighing contentedly while stretching his arms. Listening attentively, he realized he couldn’t hear anything except for pouring rain hitting the windows. From the intensity of the rain’s echo, Justin surmised Brian’s place was surrounded by large panes of glass.

“You’re awake?” Brian’s voice brought him back from his reverie. Justin had been so focused on the storm that he had failed to hear Brian moving closer.

Justin nodded, questioning, “What time is it?”

“Eight,” Brian responded as he sat on the bed, the mattress dipping. “You crashed for two hours solid.”

“Your bed is heavenly,” Justin groaned, stretching again. “Besides, I was really relaxed when I fell asleep.”

“I fucked you so hard you passed out,” Brian countered, amused.

“Oh, shut up!” Justin groused playfully, raising his hand in Brian’s direction to push the man away. Brian grabbed his wrist and crawled over to Justin. Lying down next to the blond, he placed the palm of his hand on his lover’s face before covering his lips with his own. Justin moaned happily at the touch and let Brian deepen the kiss momentarily, before pulling back.

“What?” Brian questioned, sensing Justin’s hesitation.

“I…” Justin whispered, feeling his lungs seizing. He knew he needed to talk to Brian about his fear of being rejected, or he wouldn’t find the courage to do so later on. But no matter how much he wanted to speak, the words wouldn’t come out.

Brian leaned back then, allowing Justin to straighten up and sit at a safe distance from his naked body.

“I’m not sure,” Justin began, rubbing his neck. “I mean, it’s going to sound…”

“Justin,” Brian cut him off. Justin heard the hint to just spit it out, and sighed, knowing it was now or never.

“I’m in love with you,” Justin revealed quietly. He figured that cutting right to the point was the best course of action. If Brian couldn’t deal with that truth, there was no point in them continuing to see each other in the future. “And I know I’m only nineteen and that you’re an escort twelve years my senior, which means the odds are clearly against us lasting. But fuck it, Brian. It doesn’t make this any less real,” he proclaimed, gesturing with his hand between Brian and himself.

Brian didn’t respond. Justin hated not being able to see his eyes, to understand what might be going on in his lover’s head. For all he knew, Brian would tell him to fuck off. It wasn’t like he didn’t have enough to deal with in his day-to-day life, without the hassle of dealing with someone who claimed that he was hopelessly in love.

“Say something,” Justin urged when the silence had dragged on for too long, causing his anxiety to increase.

Brian cleared his throat. Justin felt him scooting closer. “I’m an escort,” was all he finally said.

“I’m aware,” Justin asserted, raising his hand to touch Brian's shoulder, before slowly letting his fingers roam across his arm. He wasn't sure what the brunet was getting at, so he preferred to wait for him to open up, without pressuring him.

Brian didn't elaborate for a while, but he finally snorted and inquired dryly, “You’re ready to live with it? To accept what it means?”

Justin frowned as he dropped his hand. Did Brian doubt him? “Of course,” he responded confidently.

Brian chuckled sardonically. “So, you’re okay with me escorting clients? With tricks? With men touching me? Me touching them? Making them come?” Brian insisted, almost as if he wanted to make Justin run away from him.

Justin’s chest tightened.

“Because this is reality, Justin. I’m an escort. Sex is my livelihood,” Brian stated wryly. “And feelings… complicate everything.”

“What are you saying?” Justin demanded, wondering if Brian’s intention was to push him away.

“What I’m saying is, you’re only nineteen. You can’t possibly know what you're getting into by… wanting to be with me,” Brian declared in a low voice.

Fuck. This was not the way Justin had imagined the conversation would go. He couldn’t restrain himself and lashed out, “And so what? You’re not going to let me love you, just because you think I can’t handle your life? What? You think I’m going to wake up one day and realize I want out?” The blond questioned, scooting back on the bed.

“I believe you think it won’t happen,” Brian argued as Justin decided that he needed to get up from the bed, wrapping the sheet around his waist as he did so. “But you can’t know how you will feel if I let you in.”

“If you let me in...” Justin echoed, his back to Brian.

“Justin,” Brian called his name, prompting the blond to turn around. “I’ve never been… I’ve never been involved with anyone. Ever.”

“You’ve never been in a relationship?” Justin inquired, stunned. He’d thought that a man in his thirties would have already experienced a few relationships.

“No,” Brian replied. Justin heard his lover stand up from the bed and walk around until he was next to him.

“Okay. I get it. You’re scared, and that’s something I can understand. But when I want something, I’ve never given up, ever. And I don’t plan to start today.” Justin stated as he grabbed Brian’s hand and squeezed it briefly before letting go. “Now, the real question is, do you want to let me in?” he whispered, afraid Brian would not give him the answer he hoped for.

Brian stayed silent. He placed his hands on Justin’s shoulders, forcing the blond to face him. He then leaned in and captured his lips.

Justin didn’t react immediately, caught off guard by Brian’s gesture. The more time he spent with the man, the more he realized that Brian had a hard time talking about his feelings. He briefly questioned the reasons for that, wondering what his childhood had been like. Moreover, Justin knew becoming an escort had changed him, and it was obvious Brian was still coming to terms with that life-altering choice. Justin deduced he hadn’t been an escort for long, since Gus wasn’t even two years old yet.

He let Brian take charge, feeling his tongue slip into his mouth as the kiss deepened. Brian moaned, one hand cupping his cheek as he pulled Justin to his body. When Justin felt Brian hardening against him, he broke the kiss, sensing his lover’s inquiring gaze.

“Is that a yes?” Justin asked, referring to his last question.

Brian leaned his forehead against his own, breathing out a quiet, “Yes,” before claiming his lips again.

************************

Tuesday afternoon, Vision Clinic...

“You didn’t have to come with me,” Justin repeated for the third time that day, as he sat in the passenger seat of Brian’s Jeep while the brunet navigated the clinic’s parking lot and finally halted the car.

“I wanted to,” Brian responded curtly as he killed the ignition and unlocked his seatbelt.

“Why? Because you want to see John?” Justin mocked.

Brian rolled his eyes and got out of the car, walking around the front of the vehicle. Opening the door to help Justin out, he guided him, stating firmly, “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Deal with it and shut up.”

Justin had told Brian about his appointment at the clinic on Monday morning. He’d spent Sunday night at the loft, both men losing count of how many times they’d had sex before falling asleep at two a.m. When Justin had revealed during breakfast that he was supposed to go to the clinic the next day to receive his test results and the prognosis, Brian had informed him that he was driving him and staying, without giving him any choice in the matter.

Truthfully, Brian was nervous. He knew how important this meeting was, and he wanted to be there to console Justin if the results weren’t the ones he was hoping for. Brian was supposed to meet with a client Tuesday night, but he’d call in sick if necessary.

He’d picked Justin up half an hour ago, and the young man had understandably been on edge. The blond had told his lover not to bother accompanying him, but Brian had known he hadn’t really meant it. Justin had kept rubbing the palms of his hands on his legs during the entire ride, complaining about his sunglasses, even purposely trying to irritate Brian by criticizing John.

As they stood next to the Jeep, Justin sighed frustratedly, his posture betraying his anxiety. Brian therefore decided to ignore any further remarks from the blond, linking their arms together to indicate they were about to move.

He had never seen John’s office before, and he couldn’t help but be curious about observing the man in his professional environment. He hoped that his presence wouldn’t make the ophthalmologist uneasy, considering their ‘relationship’, but he didn’t really care if it had that effect. He was there for Justin.

When the nurse came to the waiting room  to lead them to John’s office, Brian took Justin’s hand in his, squeezing it in support. “Ready?” he asked gently as he studied Justin’s face.

Justin took a deep breath, gazing down at the floor. He finally responded, “I’m as ready as I will ever be.” He then raised his head, trying to appear more confident than he undoubtedly felt. “Let’s do this.”

As they stood up from their chairs, Brian felt his heart beating faster in anticipation.