CHAPTER 60 - THE REICHMANN PARTY; THE HELLCAT SMACKDOWN; THE HONEYMOON AND THE END...?

E&ZHoD - THURSDAY AFTERNOON

SHOWING AREA

EMMY LOU

Lydia and I exchange glances as Zee, virtually skips out of the building with Ms Scarlett and Rhett - she never walks them unless she's stressed and she's been positively unstressed all week.

                "Is it me or..."

                "No she's way too happy for someone with a massive party coming up this weekend in New York.  Speaking of which as Melody's rep, do you approve the menu ma'am?"

                "I do indeed, but back to Zee... what's up with her?  Melody said that she's gifted them the Candlelight Series and the Floral Midnight Series for 6 months, one after the other."

                "She has?"  Lydia nods and I contemplate Zee's behaviour.  "And then there's the humming..."

                "Humming?"  Lydia is putting on her coat.  "Whatever it is, I'm glad about it.  It's nice to see her happy.  Right now though, I've got people to sell pretty pictures to. See you Saturday."

I lean back in my chair and think about Zee's current vibe.  No, something definitely is off with that little lady and I reach for my phone.

                "Faal, its Emmy Lou.  What's with Zee's humming and skipping out of the building? Yes I said skipping, it's freaking me out!"

I must have been sitting there for a while before I realise that Zee was standing in front of me with a confused expression on her face.

                "Ah you are alive then?  Want a coffee?"  She calls out as she heads to the kitchen.

I look across at my furbabies, who seem to have acquired a little jacket each and new leashes.  That's it I've had enough and stalk into the kitchen.

                "Okay you are going to stop what you're doing and tell me what's going on!"

She looks up surprised at the fierceness in my tone.  There is no shrieking, no flailing of arms just gruff southern man who is worried about his friend.

                "Whoa where'd that voice come from?"

                "Zaden Zion..."

                "Okay, just chill.  Nothing bad is going to happen- well not to me anyway- and if all goes according to plan, everything will be over.  Now can I have my Emmy Lou back please? Zee is still here; she's just happy."

I look at her again and she does, she does look happy but there's something in that smile.

                "So the little shopping trip for Ms Scarlett and Rhett was where? You know the moment Drewsie sees them, he's going to get some more!  That man of mine!

BUNGALOW

MICHAEL

I'm still fucking pissed that he got married again!  We've not even been divorced for that long!  But we're going to show up there on Saturday and make sure the patrons know how bad the food is.  We're going to discredit them and their business!  I feel a bit sorry for Emmett but when you sleep with the devil, as Lindsay says, you either bask in the flame or get burnt.

I have to admit that I'm very pleased with the tux she's picked out for me, though the shoes pinch a bit and are a bit slippy.

                "Wow Lindsay, you look great!"  I enthuse as she comes in.  "Love the shoes.  But doesn't black tie normally mean a long dress or something?"

                "Normally, yes but I'm going my own way and wearing a tux.  If catering staff can get away with it, why can't a guest?" She admires herself in the mirror and smirks at me.  "And you look great too. You never know who you'll meet who will be better than Ben of course.  Right, let's get these off and get packed. I don't want to be rushing round tomorrow."

McCANDLESS APARTMENT BLOCK - FRIDAY AFTERNOON

RECEPTION DESK

ROBERTA

I swear on all that's holy, if she goes through those instructions one more time I shall shove them up her uppity ass!  The way she swans around like the queen is so annoying and when she made that probation remark I wanted to quit there and then, but Maxwell said not to let her get to us.

Another thing that is annoying us is that they expect us to work whenever they see fit. There's reasonable overtime and then there's the ‘because I said so' way of her thinking.  It does have its advantages like this weekend they are in New York and so won't be back until Sunday afternoon.  Even the tenants prefer them not to be in the building!

And in honour of their absence, there's a tenants' bbq, to which we've been invited and we're staying overnight with one of the other tenants too.

                "Hey Roberta is Ms Peterson in the office today?"  Charlie from 1C is looking worried.

                "No, I can..."

                "Oh good!  Look I've got to get into the safety box and you know what she's like and I would rather..."

                "Come on.  Be quick, the amount of form filling for this is ridiculous. There's being careful and then there's being Lindsay Peterson."

We giggle as I lead him into the room and he quickly gets what he wants with a smile of relief.

                "You know this place would run a whole lot better without them in it.  You and Maxwell are great.  See ya!"

I wave him goodbye and sigh. That would never happen. They have it made here, and if I'm honest, so do we.  But this continued overtime without pay is grating.  I will have to have a word with them on Monday about this.  It's just not fair.

PLANE TO NEW YORK

FRIDAY EVENING

ZEE

                "Ladies and gentlemen!  I wish to welcome you onboard Flight Ugerstacht 187 to New York.  We are currently waiting for the Taylor-Kinneys to return to their individual seats so we can take off!"

An almost embarrassed Justin and Brian settle back into their seats with matching smirks.

                "As I was saying.  Your inflight cuisine has been provided by..."

                "Nakama!"  Ted calls out.

                "Wow!  Do I order from there that much?"

                "Yes!"  They all answer and I grin.

                "Actually it's from Habitat and it will be served in about 10 minutes.  I've ordered one of each thing so we can finish it off when we get to the condo okay.  Now in the pockets in front of you are a little surprise so whilst we're taxiing out do feel free to peruse the book."

I head back to the cockpit and take the co-pilot seat and smile at Faal and Mac.

                "Soon be showtime."  I murmur to myself.

JUSTIN

I pull out the book and once again marvel at Emmy Lou's ability to get things done.  Brian is quietly looking through it holding my hand and rubbing my knuckles.  I blink back tears as I watch the seatbelts sign switch off and head straight for him and embrace him in a fierce hug.

                "Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  When did you get them done?!"

                "Not that I don't appreciate your hug but what are you talking about? What did I get done?"

                "The books, when did..."  I look at his face and he still looks perplexed.  "You didn't do them did you?"

I pull the book out from the pouch in front of him and show him, his eyes fill with tears.

                "No, I never had this sorted out, this has Ugerstacht written all over it."

                "I never even saw a photographer not once."  Drew suddenly says.  "How did they do it?"

                "Actually add Taylor-Kinney and Bruckner to that list and you will have it correct."  Brian interrupts us.  "And there were cameras set up in each ceremonial room and the garden.  Just continually taking pictures, so Ben, Zee, Faal and I went through and took the best ones and I think it turned out great.  Hope you like it Sunshine?"

                "When did you do it?  I mean sort through them?"

                "Thursday.  But d-do you like it?"

                "No, I love it.  I love you."

                "I love you too.  Now do you want to eat or..."  He waggles his eyebrows.

                "Sorry boys, but we've got dibs!"  Debs cackles and leads a blushing Carl to the bedroom.

All four of us look at each other horrified.

                "Eating at the condo?"  Drew mutters.

                "Yeah."  Justin answers queasily.

STARK CONDO

LUC

They've just arrived and we've had to split them between the two condos in the end.  Ben, Steve, Mel, Leda and all the kids are in the smaller one.

As for tomorrow, Del is going to have Gus and Jenny with her as she's not too much into art and wants to get to know them.  All in all it should be an interesting weekend.

CHAMBERS HOTEL

SATURDAY MORNING

LINDSAY AND MICHAEL'S SUITE

LINDSAY

Oh my God, this is the most beautiful hotel suite I have ever stayed in!  I can see why Brian chose it.  I wanted to book the Ritual massage but was unable to so, but I've booked something else for us instead. When we get there we are going to look fabulous!

                "Come on Michael, we don't want to be late!"

                "Coming.  I've never had a proper massage or a facial before.  Are you sure your folks aren't going to mind you putting this on the business visas?"

                "Of course not.  Besides who does the expenses? Them or us?"

Grinning we enter the spa and take our glasses of champagne.

FRANKLIN REICHMANN'S PARTY - MoMA - EVENING

RECEPTION HALL

RONALD

                "Ronald Peterson speaking?  Sorry what?  No I can't hear you. I'll have to take this outside..."

Ten minutes later, I come storming back in with a face of thunder.

                "Ronald, what on earth's the matter?  Is someone hurt?"  Nancy looks concerned.

                "Not yet but they will be!  Let's just enjoy the party."

KITCHENS

EMMY LOU

The reception has been a success!  Zee is grinning from ear to ear.  When we devised the menu, I wasn't sure but Melody and Lydia loved the ‘surprise' element of it.  You'd think you were biting into an egg for instance and it would be the mushroom mousse.  They were light bites considering the richness of the courses to come.

                "Emmy Lou, come on! We're guests, not staff here."  Zee chastises me tugging at my arm.

"I know but you know me.  I can't help it..."  But I allow myself to be dragged upstairs.

RECEPTION HALL

JUSTIN

This is spectacular.  Even Brian is impressed. Melody Reichmann has some serious pull and then some.  I think Hunter would do wise to stay in contact with her but unlike Lindsay won't push the point.

EMMY LOU

Everyone is in a good mood.  Never had a thing for art but Justin is in his element and we're all on the same table so that's also great.    But Zee's right. It's time to be a guest, not a caterer so where's my family?

GUEST GREETER

                "Uh, are you a member of the wait staff? If so the entrance is down..."

                "No I'm not a member of the wait staff, I'm a guest!  See Lindsay Peterson, just there!"

                "Oh I'm so sorry madam it's just..."

LYDIA

What in the hell? I know that voice... oh dear God!

                "Could you excuse me a minute?"

I head to reception and gawp.

                "Lindsay!   Two things: one is what are you doing here and two, what are you wearing?"

She turns to me and freezes as she looks over my shoulder, but manages to school her features.

                "I'm here in place of my parents.  And as for what I'm wearing, like Zaden I have decided to go my own way. Is there a problem with that?"

                "Not necessarily, as Zaden was the caterer, not a guest.  The guest has a strict protocol to adhere to out of respect to the hosts, but it's a nice tuxedo I suppose.  But as you're here now, try not to stand near the waiters. I take it you are alone?"

                "No, my dear friend Michael Novotny is with me.  Now excuse me, we have to circulate.  Michael this way."

I cringe as I listen to the slap-slap of his shoes against the floor and go to find Melody.

                "Melody, I'm very sorry but Lindsay Peterson has arrived and...she wanted to go her own way sartorially.  And now it looks like her own way is this way."

                "Melody how lovely to see you, where's Franklin? I would like to wish him happy birthday.  This is..."

                "My dear."  Melody drops her voice.  "I have to say I'm insulted that you didn't stick to the dress code but since this is the first and last event you will ever be invited to that I organise, you may stay.  Have a good evening.  Now Lydia, please let's go check the tables."

LINDSAY

I close my mouth which had dropped open in shock and feel my cheeks burn as I hear it.  That familiar laugh of Emmett's.  I turn around and they are all staring at Michael and me.

                "Come on Michael.  We have some people to see."

He nods and as we head towards them someone holds out a glass, and I take it. As Zaden starts to laugh, I look down and realise it is empty and I slam it back down on the nearest table.  As we stalk towards them, they are all dressed in black tie and evening dresses and I curse myself inwardly.

                "Oh that was priceless!"  Mel is snickering into Leda's shoulder.

                "So Leda you do have legs, do you?"  I give her a scathing look.

                "Yeah and they were wrapped around sugar lips this morning..."

                "So how's the party going for you Lindsay?  Seems Melody was none too pleased with you."

Zaden's eyes are flinty and I want to smack that smirk off her face. "It's going very well thank you. Michael and I are having an excellent time."

                "Shame you won't be going to any more of her events. You know since she's insulted that you didn't stick to the dress code and what was the rest oh yes: but since this is the first and last event you will ever be invited to that I organise, you may stay.  Weren't those her exact words Lindsay?  And don't bother to lie because Matt, Faal and I can all lip read..."

I stare at her and take a step towards but she stops Faal's approach with a hand on his arm and a nod.

                "Now you will be leaving, both of you.  As quickly and discreetly as you can as you wouldn't want to draw any more attention to yourself than you already have."

This I have to laugh at. "And what makes you so certain of that.  We're here because we were invited. You are merely..."

                "Invited too."  She smirks again.

                "Oh how pathetic!"  Michael snaps.  "You... invited to something like this?  Lindsay I can understand because of her social standing but you..."

                "Lindsay, you'd do well to quell your yapping puppy of a friend here. He's drawing attention to you and not in a positive life affirming way.  Now I repeat, you need to leave as you are already in so much trouble and I wouldn't want to add to your difficulties..."

This time I do throw my head back and laugh and Michael chuckles. "Difficulties?  What difficulties? We're set for life and..."

                "You're in breach of the restraining orders by being in the building." Everyone around us goes quiet.

                "And those two nice police officers currently approaching are going to take you to jail now."

                "Zaden, what on earth is going on here?!"  Melody demands.

"I'm sorry Melody. I did try and get them to leave quickly and quietly but they wouldn't."

                "Zaden, this is, of course, not your fault. You can't help the actions of others.  Officers, please remove these people."

We turn around and there two police officers behind us. "Come along now sir, ma'am."  One officer states, taking my arm.   "We don't want to have to cuff you in front of these nice people but we will."

I whirl around back to Zaden. "She's lying there is no restraining order. We would've seen it!"  I yell.

                "Let go of me!  She's a bullshitter!" Michael shouts, starting to pull away but ending up on his ass as his shoes slip.

                "Up you get sir!  And let's go!"

I struggle to pull out of the officer's grip when I see my parents. "Daddy!  Mother help us!"  I cry out but they don't seem to hear me.

As I turn to look at her the last thing I see is Zaden blow me a kiss.

FAAL

I look at my mischievous minx of a wife and marvel at her ingenuity and how great she looks in that dress. The purple shoes she and Brian argued over are firmly on her feet and she gets compliments as she passes and they flash into view.

We're all seated and still somewhat in shock. "Okay start!"  I demand.  "Are there really restraining orders?"

She takes a sip of champagne and nods.

                "But I would've heard of the paperwork. We share a lawyer for fuck sake."

                "Yeah about that.  We need to take Charles and David out for dinner..."

Brian raised his glass.

                "So now what? That's it? It's over and you've got your revenge?"  Mel asks warily.

                "I told her three times...I hit her three times. But tomorrow, I'm definitely done tomorrow."

                "Okay enough about her, what do you think of the menu?  Starter: elderflower cured mackerel with tomato consommé or baked in the shell queenies; mains: sticky stout glazed beef with chimichurri & Caipirinha beer can chicken & accoutrements; vegetarian starter: pea, courgette and parmesan soup or vegetables a la grecque; vegetarian main: cauliflower stomato with crispy kale and caramelised pine nuts and dessert: chocolate ice cream with blood orange sorbet."

Justin is drooling.

                "And this is per table?"  Ben looks hopeful.

                "Yep.  And no, before you ask, we can't do the doggy bag thing we're giving the remaining food to the HIV hospice instead."  Emmy Lou advises.  "So leave lots!"

The rest of the evening is filled with laughter and gorgeous food and of course they got more business cards...and my darling lig spent the time waiting for the car barefoot and standing on my feet.

POLICE PRECINCT - SUNDAY MORNING

INTERVIEW ROOMS

LINDSAY

I cannot believe we spent the night in jail and all because of that bitch! I can't wait to get out of here and give her a piece of my mind. Restraining order, what a crock of shit!  We're going to sue her for false imprisonment and harassment.

                "Ms Peterson and Mr Novotny, how are you feeling this morning?  My name is Gray, Marcus Gray and I am your court appointed lawyer for the proceedings that are going to happen today. They won't take long, just a matter of paying the fine and being on your way out of New York."

We both look at him.

                "What are you talking about?!"  Michael yells.  "Those restraining orders are bullshit! There's no such thing!"

                "Calm yourself Mr Novotny. I can assure you that the restraining orders are real and were signed for by Ms Peterson..."

                "I did no such thing!"

                "So this is not your signature?"  He hands me a photocopy of the slip I signed for Michael's envelope.

                "Yes it is but this was addressed to Michael not me!"

                "Didn't you read it Mr Novotny?"

                "No, I was busy with other things!"

                "Well that's unfortunate.  The documentation inside are the restraining orders against you Mr Novotny to stay away from Mrs Ugerstacht and against you Ms Peterson to stay away from both Mr and Mrs Ugerstacht to a radius of..."

By the time the court proceedings are finished, I'm exhausted and Michael is pissed at me for not drawing his attention to the post. When I pointed out it was his post and up to him to open it, we ended up having a full scale row and now neither of us is speaking to the other.

I just want to get home and forget this weekend.

CHAMBERS HOTEL - SUNDAY LATE AFTERNOON

LINDSAY AND MICHAEL'S SUITE

RONALD PETERSON

I'm furious. No actually make that fucking furious!  Not only did she make a show of herself by getting arrested but she's also taken advantage of us yet again!  Well no more!  Nancy and I sat and discussed it and we've decided that she has to learn the hard way.  After I got the call from the credit card company, naturally I called Lindsay on the job-related cell phone and got some Roberta woman. She clarified the situation perfectly for us and we are taking them home on the same flight as us.

The door opens to reveal a dishevelled looking pair and immediately the tears start...WASP 101 in full effect.

                "Daddy..."

                "Pack now!  Not a word but we will talk when we get to Pittsburgh!"

MINTON'S, HARLEM - MONDAY AFTERNOON

ZEE

I beam into my phone and hang up before stopping by the hostess and ordering another round of drinks for the table.  Uncle Luc has managed to get them to open especially for us today and we are celebrating hard.  Gus, Jenny, Hunter and Matt have gone off by themselves after the meetings this morning. Justin said he did really well and Lydia is proud of her little urchin.  

                "People a bit of hush please!  Let us charge our glasses to toasting the happy couples.  To Brian and Justin and Steve and Ben and to having my mom back and to the end of revenge."

                "End of revenge?"  Mel queries.  "So it's done? You're not going after them again?"

                "Nope, I'm all done - unless of course they come after me and mine again.  But according to Millie, they don't know what's hit them...the answer to that is uh me!"

                "So what did you manage to do my mischievous lady?"

                "Well because of the nature of our work and the threat they pose, cough-cough.  And after reading the statements from both Judge Milner and Judge Maatje, the judge agreed to a restraining order meaning that neither of them can come within 50 miles of either of us.   And after what daddy found out about her and the card..."

                "Wait the card?  What card?"  Ben asks

                "Company credit card.  It seems that it's programmed to alert the cardholder for any amount spent over $500.  So when they checked into the hotel- the Chambers no less- the credit card company called him. He in turn tried to call them but got their assistant instead."

                "Wait! Their assistant?"  Leda is astonished.  "So daddy pays them to do whatever and they hire assistants to do the work for them instead?"

                "Indeed and it gets better. Seems that the tenants aren't too fond of that arrangement and once daddy and mother got the lowdown on what had been happening they fired them..."

                "But that's hardly fair; it's not their fault!  Jeez some fucking WASPS always protect their own!  Give me the names of the people that were fired and I'll represent them pro-bono!"

I smirk at Mel's anger and take a sip of my drink. "Sure. It's Lindsay Peterson and Michael Novotny."

The table goes quiet.

                "W-what?  He fired them?"  Jennifer stammers.

                "And made them homeless.  Remember the bungalow? Well that came with the job, so no job, no bungalow."

                "But where are they going to go?"  Blake asks once he has recovered his shock.

                "And surely Ronald would've told them about the alert limit?"  Ted marvels.

                "Damned if I know and fucked if I care Blake and as for the alert limit...it was the first time Ronald heard about it too.  How that was set up will remain one of life's little mysteries won't it?"

As they absorb this information, Brian shakes his head and stands.

                "To never ever crossing Zaden! You are one fucking scary hellcat."

                "To our fucking scary hellcat!"  They cheer.

As we fly back to Pittsburgh that evening, I think about that fateful meeting at the Advertising Dinner then look across at my sleeping family and think, anyone who comes after them must be fucking insane!

THE GLASSHOUSE - SOUTH AFRICA - WEDNESDAY EVENING

2ND BEDROOM

JUSTIN

I can't believe we are here. After all that has happened over the years, we are finally here.  I reach into my cargo pants pocket and press the remote and hear my husband's groan and whimper. Then I get up and head to the master bedroom.  We've been doing this for a couple of hours now and it's been so hot to watch him tremble and then settle back down time and time again. He's covered in sweat and is gazing with lust and love filled eyes and...

                "I-I-ve always wondered what it would feel like to be fucked by me and...oh God!"

He arches as I press in a rapid staccato and he curls his toes.  He reaches across the bed and I have to grab the door jamb and bite my lip, my legs almost give way.

                "T-this is incredible!  B-Brian pl-please let me come!"  I beg sliding to the floor as he reciprocates.

                "C-come here, want to watch yo-you!"

Whimpering I manage to stagger to the bed and collapse on top of him and devour his mouth, until the need for air becomes pressing.

                "Lie on your back baby."  He whispers. As I flip over, he grabs my hand.  "Ready?  Don't stop until we both come okay?"

I nod and on three we press and within minutes we are screaming the room down, arching, twisting and declaring our love.  About an hour later, we wake up, and look at each other with schmoopy expressions on our faces.

                "How the hell did it get up there and whose is it?"  Brian looks up at the ceiling fan.

                "Don't know, turn over."  Gently I remove the plug and he does the same for me.  "Need sleep."

BRIAN

I brush the sweat soaked hair from his forehead.  We should really get up and have a shower but once his breathing starts to even out I know I will soon follow him.  I look at my left hand and realise I will follow him anywhere until the end of time.

                "I love you too, now go to sleep."  He mumbles into my chest and I chuckle and close my eyes.

EPILOGUE

When Brian and Justin returned from their honeymoon everything went back to pre-wedding routine, the family lunches every weekend and everyone was happy.

Well not everyone.  Turns out that Lindsay and Michael really underestimated how pissed off her parents were and they had to repay the New York charges back or he would press charges for fraud.  It took 3 months for them to pay it back and another 3 months for her parents to start talking to her again.  As Lindsay was blackballed by every gallery in the Pennsylvania area they ended up moving to Canada to start again...she was thrilled to discover that her former house was still a rental and moved back in...her landlord was delighted but not as delighted as his niece!

As for Luther, Faal and Lucian are right to be concerned, seems he really didn't take kindly to being ejected from the family...in the distance you can hear The Rattle of the Snake.