CHAPTER 30 - FRICK-ING AWESOME FOR SOME NOT FOR OTHERS...

THE CLAYTON - EARLY EVENING

HUNTER

              "Okay how do I look?"  I ask Miranda.

              "For the 400th time you look good and stop fiddling with your tie, you're the one who said it was black tie now suck it up buttercup!  At least you're not having to wear a goddam dress!"

              "I concede you have it worse and in heels too!"

We both laugh and give the room the once over again, it looks beautiful the tables, the flowers and the lighting on the artwork is impressive, I still can't believe Brian talked them into letting us have it here.

As Auntie Ems and Aunt Zee have been told that they are joining the dining party, so they've hired two maitre'd per room and the waiters who are dressed as Franche-Comte and are being brief by them as to timings, when Lydia, Sydney and Norma come in.

              "Oh my goodness you darling urchins!  Look at this place!"  Lydia cries enveloping us both in a hug.

              "Aunt Liddie, you're crushing my dress!"  Martine grumbles.

              "And look at you two, utterly ravishing the pair of you!" 

Sydney has walked off and I frown at Norma, who smiles and just shakes her head.

              "Give him a few minutes."  She whispers.

              "My dears, you have made m-me so proud of you.  Thank you, thank you."

              "Okay everyone, let's do the walk through!"  Auntie Ems calls out.

              "French-Comte, that is just perfect!"  He chortles

Suddenly the maitre'd clears his throat.

              "Okay lovelies, show time!" 

Lydia whispers and taking both our hands leads us to the entrance to greet the guests with Sydney and Norma.

We hand out the brochures we had made, which has a bio about Sydney, a list of his achievements, pictures, the menu for the cocktail party and the dinner, the seating plan and a timetable.

              "Mr Brian Kinney and Mr Justin Taylor!"

              "Brian, Justin thank you for coming, looking very good indeed!"

              "Sydney, Norma how lovely to see you again."  Brian says smoothly before coming over to me and discreetly fixing my bowtie.  "Seriously you and Gus are going to sit down and watch a video for this thing!"

              "Mr Faal Ugerstacht and Mr Matthew Ugerstacht!"

I blush as Matt blows me a good luck kiss.

              "Ms Lindsay Petersen and Ms Melanie Marcus!"

              "Lindsay.  Oh Melanie, how lovely to see you, I haven't seen you in a while, how are you?"  Norma is gushing, Lindsay is pissed.

              "Brian what are you doing here?"  Lindz is surprised.  "And Faal too!  How lovely!"

              "Apparently we are invisible."  I hear Justin whisper to Matt, who snickering gets her attention.

              "Mr Drew Boyd!"

The frown on Lindz's face begins to deepen.

              "Ms Cara Moses!"

              "Cara my dear!  You look beautiful, now I have been instructed to compliment you on your nails, let me see them?  Very nice indeed!  Now go and have some cocktails!"  Sydney ushers her along.

              "Maybe we should move from there we seem to be creating quite a logjam?"  Brian suggests.

JUSTIN

The crème de la crème of the art world of Pittsburgh and their patrons are here.  Whilst I'm glad for Sydney, I'm so glad it's not me having to make a speech at the end of this. 

              "Mr Benjamin Bruckner and Mr Steve Smart!"

              "I didn't know you were coming Justin.  Wait did they just announce Ben and Steve?"  Lindz gasps.

              "Well I owe a lot to Sydney, he was very inspirational and acted as a mentor when I sometimes got stuck."

              "Hey baby, a blue martini to match your blue eyes."

I scrunch my nose up and lean into him a bit, even though I'm used to crowds sometimes the old fear does come up especially when I have nothing to focus on.

              "I got you."  He whispers and kisses my head and I start to breathe a bit easier.

              "Sorry to interrupt, but aren't you Justin Taylor?"  A lady comes up.

              "Yes and you are?"

              "Corrine Smith-Thomas of the New York Times, I caught your show a couple of years back, exquisite pieces just exquisite and...oh my well there's no mistaking you, Brian Kinney the muse?"

              "In the flesh, nice to meet you Corrine."

              "And sadly covered up, nice to meet you too.  Look here's my card Justin, can you please get me put on your mailing list for any upcoming shows you have in New York and the Pitts?"

I nod and take her card and put it in my pocket.

              "Mr Robert Craswell!"

I cringe and feel Brian tense up, he's the last person I want to see again.

              "Lindsay darling, how are you?"  Robert smarms

              "Robert how lovely to see you again, you remember Justin, Justin Taylor and his partner Brian Kinney."

              "Ah yes Justin, you've come a long way since I wrote that article about you..."

              "And all without your help, could you excuse us?"  Brian takes my hand and leads me towards Faal.

LINDZ

I can't believe how rude Brian was just then!  I smile my apologies and go to find Mel, who is talking to Matt.

              "Mel I've got to circulate, will you be okay?"

              "Lindz, I've been to these events before I'll be fine." 

              "Mr James Fienman and Mr Conrad Fienman-Jones!"

I try not scowl at her snippiness and start to make my way through the crowds. 

              "Mr Adam White!"

My heart stops and I turn round to look at Mel who is beaming and waving at him.  Great just great!

              "Mr Joshua Smalling and Mrs Carrie Smalling!"

Brian's head snaps round and he grins and waves at them.  But before they can get to them, Adam is calling out to him.

              "Joshua you old dog what the hell are you doing sniffing round here?"

              "Adam how you doing?!  Never had you down as a patron of the arts.  Adam this is my wife Carrie, Carrie this is Adam White."

I decide to head back to Mel as it looks like I need to introduce myself to Adam.  I time it perfectly so that I reach them as the waiter arrives grabbing a pink one I take a sip of my cocktail.

              "Mr Samuel Auerbach!" 

I cough into my drink and am immediately handed a napkin.  Mel turns to face me with a questioning look and I shake my head.

              "Mel I just need to speak to Miles, if I'm not back in five minutes come get me!"  Adam grins.

              "I swear I had no idea he was coming to this!"  I whisper urgently.

              "I never said a word."  She replies smoothly.  "Have a drink"

              "Ms Emily Mitchell and Ms Francine Cooperman!"

I think I'm going to faint, I gulp down my drink and take a few calming breaths.

              "Did they just announce Emily and Francine, let's go say hello!" 

              "You go I need to circulate some more!"  I croak.  "I've got to make new contacts, this is partly a working soiree for some after all!"

SYDNEY

              "Excuse me, excuse me ladies and gentlemen!  I would like to take this opportunity to first thank you all for coming to s-say well you know, in this beautiful historical building.  Now I understand that we have the run of the house for dinner but also the greenhouse and the car and carriage museum where more libations and canapés await.  However, before you all disperse, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the four people who have made this event possible, who will be thanked properly later but right now I want to introduce them to you, not for poaching purposes with the first two as Lydia would never forgive me!  The party organisers and trainee curators at Uptown Mr Hunter Bruckner and Ms Martine Glendale!"

Applause echo round the room and Ben is taking pictures like the proud father.

              "Now to the food and drinks, these two caterers have only just started, well one is already established but with his new partner in epicurean crime I can see them going very far indeed, it is my pleasure to announce Mr Emmett Honeycutt and Mrs Zee Ugerstacht!"

There is applause but also murmurs and looks exchanged, as Zee makes her way to Faal who is grinning at her proudly.

              "It said black tie, it didn't say I couldn't wear my YSL tux!"  She comments to me as I scowl at her.

              "I think it was a given that the ladies should wear a long dress and..."

              "Hi sorry to interrupt, but they are one of the most fabulous shoes I have ever seen and I'm so envious of you right now!  I would love to be in a tuxedo.  My name is Calista Della-Jones, so you're one of the caterers, you must come and meet my husband!"

              "Wait I need my partner in crime, Emmett, come with us."

She is pulled into the crowd and they're conversing and getting cards.  I suspect that Emmy Lou is doing most of the talking. 

              "Lindsay, you look nice!  How do you think it's going, you've got to hand it to her for going her own way with the tuxedo, don't you?"  Lydia chuckles.

              "Well it's not proper form is it?"

              "Nonsense, and judging by the looks she's receiving I think there are a lot of ladies who wish they had, ahem, misinterpreted the rules.  Oh my, is Diana Bowchurch actually trying on her jacket!  I really hope the photographer got that."

I look for Mel and can't find her in the main house so head to the greenhouse to see if she's there.

              "Lost someone?"  A familiar voice drawls behind me.

              "Sam!  H-how are you?"  I stammer

              "Fine, fine, you, is this a flying visit for Sydney's goodbye?"

              "No we're back in Pittsburgh for good now.  Well if you'll excuse me I must try and find Mel."

              "Nice to see you again Lindsay."

As I head to the house I turn back and he's watching me leave, I can't help the small smile that graces my face, not that I would act on it of course! 

              "Hi Lindsay." 

              "Hi Francine, where's Emily."

              "Talking with Mel in the car and carriage museum."

              "What are you guys thinking doing this?"  I rasp at her

              "We were invited much like you Lyndsay.  Lydia is a good friend and can introduce us to some good contacts, we might even go into partnership with Emmett and Zee..."

              "What?"  I snap.

              "Helbert and Fuchsia Flowers that us; this has always been one of your problems Lindsay unless it concerns you, you don't listen.  Now I'm going to find Emily and enjoy the rest of my evening."

I head to the house as I just can't face Emily right now, I find a quiet room to gather my thoughts.  Francine didn't seem to know what I was referring to so I can maybe play that to my advantage and persuade her to the folly of this lawsuit.  I know what Mel said about Adam White but Francine has always been the voice of reason.

Feeling emboldened I head to find Francine again.  She's talking to someone about plants.

              "Francine, may I have a quick word please?"

              "Of course, excuse me..."

              "Look I got this rather..."

              "If this is about the legal thing between you and Emily, it is exactly that between you and Emily, but rest assured whatever it is she wants to do I will back her 100%.  Now if you'll excuse me..."

              "She doesn't know who she's up against Francine, can she afford the fall out?"  I smile sweetly at her.  "And I don't just mean monetarily."

              "That's the thing, Lindsay, she didn't know who she was up against then, but she knows it now.  You've always seen us as way above us, well tell me Lindsay who has further to fall, you or her?"

She pats me on my arm and walks away.

MEL

              "Emily, I'm so sorry about your dad."

              "Oh thank you.  You're looking gorgeous in that dress and don't you think Zee looks wonderful in her tux, I just love the way her tie is undone and those shoes...oh my God the shoes!"

I chuckle as the lady of the conversation comes in hand in hand with a very proud looking Faal, she's stopped ever so often by someone who congratulates her on the food and whilst he lets her do her thing, I notice the moment she puts her hands behind her back, he comes over and moves them along.  They are so in tune with each other God I wish I had that...I had that albeit briefly but...no Mel let's not go there.

Brian and Justin are also in here, Brian calls Zee over whilst Faal is getting a drink.

              "Zee this is Campbell Lutz who runs The Bletchley..."

              "In West Virginia, nice to meet you."

ZEE

              "Nice to meet you too, I hope you are enjoying yourself?" 

              "Uh Zee, we need to speak quickly to Joshua and Carrie, okay."  Brian tells me as they head off

              "So how long have you been in the catering business?"

              "About 3 weeks, how long have you been in the art world?" 

He takes a step forward and rests his hand on the car acting nonchalant, I give it a glance and then narrow my eyes at him, and he doesn't take the hint.

              "Oh about 13, maybe 15 years, how did you get this gig, you must be very talented in other areas?"

              "I got lucky with Emmy Lou, after months of begging and pleading I finally caved and agreed to the partnership.  Now if you'll excuse me I have to..."

              "What's your rush?"

              "I want out of your company."  I tell him bluntly.

              "I think it would do you good to be a little friendlier to someone who can make it worth your while, I do have some influence you know..."

              "Nope, no desire to be friendly with you or take advantage of what little influence you have..."

              "Campbell there you are!"  Lydia appears smiling glacially.  "Oh my dear I don't believe they like it if you leave grease stains on the vehicles.  Now, I have someone you need to meet; Campbell Lutz this is Faal Ugerstacht of the Stellenbosch Ugerstacht Family."

              "What a pleasure to meet you, may I call you Faal?  And may I introduce you to..."

              "My wife Zee, no that's not necessary and no you may not call me Faal.  Ready darling?"

I nod and take his hand and wink at Lydia.

LYDIA

              "Campbell, a piece of advice for you.  If she wanted him to she could get him to buy your piddling little gallery and toss you out on your ear, now wipe the car, make your apologies and fuck off!"

After making sure he got the grease off, he scurries out but before I could make sure he went I got called by Cynthia Dember and I prayed she would be quick.   By the time I looked round he was nowhere to be seen but I wanted to be sure.

              "Oh Lydia, I'm so sorry, if I had heard his name announced he would've been gone, he wasn't a nuisance was he?"  Sydney whispers urgently.

              "No Faal and I handled him before Zee could."

              "Zee, oh my goodness where is she I must apologise."  He looks round for her.

              "She's with Faal and its fine honestly, I just want to make sure he's gone."

              "Oh he is, Norma made sure of it."

I breathe a sigh of relief, he and Sam Auerbach should start a Slimes are Us Club...I'm not into women but how could Lindsay fuck him over Mel, surely she's heard of dildos!

The clanging of the gong indicated that dinner was to be served.

Hunter and Martine are back on hosting duties, making sure that everyone is heading back to the house.  I was just about to head to the house when I notice that Hunter is standing by one of the cars and muttering furiously to himself and shaking his head.

              "Hunter is everything okay?"

              "Yep everything is just fine, you go ahead Lydia.  I'll see you in there!"

              "Come on Hunter, let's go in!"  I wave him forward and reluctantly he comes up to me.  "Oh and boys you have about 10 minutes, there's generally a delay in people wanting to swap tables!"

Brian's head pops up from inside the car and he gives me the thumbs up.

              "We are so sending him the bill for that!"  Hunter mutters.

Once we are back in the house it's the usual thing, even though we've given them their personalised brochures people are still asking what tables they are on. 

My urchins' smiles are beginning to slip, and I sense they are about to be railroaded by some more determined table shifters.  I signal Cara and Scottie to help out.

              "Lydia is there anything I can do to help?"  Lyndsay's syrupy tones are like razor wire over my nerves.

              "No we've got it thank you Lyndsay, why don't you find your table?"

LYNDSEY

I knew there would be problems but would she let me help, no, well I shall just sit back and watch as it all falls apart for them, sending in 2 rookies to do a master's job indeed! 

I look for Mel and see her talking to Adam again and yet I've still not been introduced to him, time to rectify that.

              "Mel there you are.  Sorry to have abandoned you like that but you know the life of a gallery manager is a busy one in these social situations?  Ah Adam isn't it, of White Sullivan?"

              "And."

              "And what?"

              "White and Sullivan and you are?"

              "Lyndsay, Mel's wife.  You came to our table on Sunday we were having birthday cocktails with..."

              "Ah Sunday, I remember now..."

I smile and tuck my hair behind my ears.

              "The very gorgeous Leda, who could forget her.  I felt my ears were burning, was she talking about me?"

Leda!  He remembers Leda

              "No sorry she wasn't.  But she admired the badinage.  Oh what table are you on?"  Mel asks.

              "Table 5 what about you?"

              "Table 4 and it looks like they are calling people in now."

              "Have you seen what they are serving?  About a 20 mile run for the thermidors alone, oh that's our table, see you later Mel."

              "Mel you could've included me in the conversation!"  I hiss at her.

              "How could I have done that when he was doing most of the talking?"  She whispers back.

I look round and spot Sam talking to someone and then our table is called.  I'm surprised to find that only Ben and Steve are on our table and I look round for the rest of them. 

              "Who are you looking for Lindz?"  Mel asks.

              "Brian and Justin?  I'm also wondering where Zee, Emmy Lou, Hunter and Martine are sitting?"

              "Oh they're on table 3 over the other side."  Ben tells me.

I look across and sure enough they there all are, laughing and talking away.  Scottie and James Fienman join our table with his partner.

              "Was the little issue earlier solved?"  I ask Scottie.

              "Huh oh yeah, the usual drama of wanting to swap tables.  All this jockeying for position but luckily our little urchins, were firm and with Lydia, me and Cara backing them up, everyone went to their originally assigned seats."

              "Why does she call them urchins?"  Steve asks.

              "Because she adores them.  She's called Martine urchin since she was way high."

              "Let me make some introductions..."  I begin.

              "Oh we already know each other, James and Conrad were at the launching."   Ben interrupts.  "So have you finally got Boca locked down?"

              "Well no, we're not going to Boca anymore, once a certain someone heard about Aspen we just had to change our tickets so we're going to Aspen instead."  James grouses squeezing his partner's hand.

              "Mel and I are going to San Francisco for the Mardi Gras this year aren't we?"

              "Yes, I'm looking forward to it, especially the wine tasting in Napa Valley."

              "And speaking of San Francisco, I'm going there with Lydia next week for a couple of days, we have auctions, an estate viewing and some other social engagements." 

              "Oh okay.  As you said the life of a gallery manager is a busy one." 

              "So she's taking you?"  Scottie asks.

              "Yes she is."  I try to keep the smugness down to a minimum

              "Great, it should be fun.  She asked me, but I have holiday booked and George can't do it because he's got to go to Washington."

Third, I was third choice.

              "Did I hear that correctly?  You're going to be in San Francisco next week?"  Sam takes his seat at the table.  "When are you going to be there?"

              "Land Monday and leave Thursday evening."  I mumble not looking at Mel.

              "That's great, same time as me.  Let's try and do lunch or something whilst you're there."

I groan inwardly but am saved from saying anything by Lydia coming to the table

              "Sorry about this.  Mel would you mind moving to table 3, you see Conrad Lutz was taken ill and that has mucked up our seating plan and I need to find a space for Sierra Kemp and I know you won't mind so much moving to table 3."

              "Uh Lydia..."

              "No that's fine, I'm happy to move."  She gets up and without a backward glance leaves.

              "Everyone this is Sierra Kemp, I'll leave Scottie, this gentleman here, to make the introductions."

I turn to look at her and wonder if that dress could be any tighter.  And judging by the leer on Sam's face the answer to that is yes!

LYDIA

              "I was sent with strict instructions, I don't care how the fuck you do it get Mel off that table and over here now!" 

I whisper to her and I get a smile.

              "Who sent you?"  She whispers back

              "I believe you have the father of your son to thank for that."

MEL

I take my seat next to Hunter and breathe easier, I can feel Lyndsay's eyes boring into me but I refuse to turn round.  I raise my glass to Brian then gasp and grin.

              "What?  What's making you smile like that?"  Faal asks.

              "When did you have it done?"  I ask Brian and pull on my ear.

              "Monday."  He replies grinning but not as widely as Justin.

              "Jeez it looks good, I didn't even notice it."  Faal smiles. 

              "We went to Urbanowicz and got it done there along with getting...our wedding rings."  Justin grins.

The entire table gasps and we raise our glasses, Zee looks across at Faal with a quizzical expression.

              "No he doesn't know what they look like.  Nobody but us do and that's how it's going to remain until the day."  Brian reassures her.

              "Shame I was looking forward to beating him up again."

              "It looks good on you man, only you could carry off an engagement earring."  Drew chortles.

              "It's a little high, like it's placed where Zee's second earring is?"  Emmy Lou peers at it.

              "I like it when he nibbles my earlobes."

              "Jesus Brian!"  I giggle.

Just at the moment the gong sounds to signal the serving of the first course.  Now I know it was good on Tuesday but whatever they did between then and now made it heavenly and judging by the expression on Sydney's face he feels the same.

But it is the serving of the main courses that surprises me. It is a whole joint of lamb and it is carved at the table.

              "Uh..."  Drew begins

              "Turns out that we had about 3 vegetarians and they aren't above ‘bacon' if you see what I mean.  So we decided to try a carvery type of approach, you know what it's like at these things, you get about two wafer thin slices and then the rest is mostly vegetables.  And it looks like this has gone down well."

Emmy Lou is spooning more lamb onto is plate.

              "Gone down well, I would kill for some bread and a room to myself, for the gravy alone!"  I groan.

Brian actually snorts into his wine, I don't think I've ever garnered that reaction from him before.

I risk at look at Lyndsey who is doing her brooding/picking thing, I'd feel sorry for Ben and Steve but they seem to be ignoring her talking to James and Conrad and judging by the phones being exchanged making new friends.

I look at the brochure as I can't remember what the dessert is and burst out laughing.

              "This had to be you Zee, there's no way it couldn't be!"  I shake my head at her.

              "What?"  Justin asks

              "Read the small print at the bottom of the menu page."

              "Should you require a doggie bag, please let the waiter have your name and table number and it will be waiting for you upon your departure." 

Justin calls to the waiter and we all look at him incredulously.

              "What like you're not going to?"  He asks.

              "Hush twat and just put our names down."

Then dessert is served and I notice that Brian isn't eating his.

              "What's the point?"  He tells her but judging by that smile he doesn't give a fuck.

Finally the food is cleared away and we are on brandies and coffees before we make our way back to the main room for the closing speeches.  It's a very moving speech as he thanks everyone naming a few like Lydia, James and mentioning the artists he's been pleased to represent including Justin and finally he's wrapping up.

              "...Well, as they say it's the end of an era.  This is not goodbye, it is just see you in a little while.  I need a recharge and then maybe I will be back depending on how annoying Norma finds me being under her feet all day.  I have made some incredible friends and colleagues and...excuse me a moment...and none more so in the last few years.  I will admit that I'm what some would call a fuddy-duddy, a stick-in-the-mud or old fashioned and am quick to judge and sometimes I get it wrong but this time I got it oh so right.  As a token of our esteem for this wonderful send off and for being two of the loveliest, as Lydia, puts it, urchins in the world, could Hunter and Martine come up here please?"

They look at each other in embarrassed horror before joining him and Norma.

              "Now this is a joint present from Norma and I and the new owners of both Bloom and Uptown.  Martine I know you love everything to do with art deco and English history, and Uptown is doing an exposition on English art and for the first few days you will be working but for the rest of the 10 days you won't be, consider it a busman's holiday."

              "Oh!  Oh f-f-for heaven sake.  Thank you, thank you!"  She stammers.

              "And Hunter, you continually surprise us considering you have no artistic training whatsoever, for those who don't know he found the lost Taylors...Kiss and Lust."

There are applause for that.

              "Lydia is so proud of you as are your family and friends, and I hope that Norma and I can be counted as one of your friends, good we're very glad.  So we are sending you to Japan, same like Martine, for the first few days you will be working but the rest of the 10 day jaunt you won't."

              "Uh I-I don't...uh...thank you."

              "For this send-off it is the least we could do.  Now please a round of applause for them."

Finally he waves for silence.

              "Now finally, could Emmett and Zee step up?  These two as I said at the beginning of the evening provided the food and staff for this event and I think I speak on behalf of everyone when I say it was fantastic, stupendously delicious and heavenly.  I know it's not much but we would like to present you with these as a token of our esteem and eternal epicurean gratitude."

Zee and Emmy Lou accept the box and flowers and step down, it isn't until they come back to the table that they open the box and take out the book that Emmy Lou tears up.  He hands it to Drew and even Zee is a little shell-shocked.

              "What is it?"  I ask him.

              "Clients bookings for the next year, seems like they were collected tonight.  Jesus Diana Bowchurch is on there!"

I look across the room to see how Lindsay is doing and she has a face like thunder.   Great salving ego time!

Zee's shoes: https://ralphandrusso.com/eden-pump-cobalt-satin-with-antique-silver-leaves