“It was fun, Justin!” Brian chortled blissfully. 

“Yeah, it was. I can't ride like you though, but it was definitely fun.” The young man said looping his arm around the brunet's waist and Brian pulled him closer by wrapping his arm on his shoulder as they walk to the men's locker room.

“You weren't that bad. Just need a little more practice.” He said that with a glint of excitement in both his voice and eyes.

“Are you telling me that we’re going to come back?” Justin teased.

“Am I that transparent?” He giggled. Justin looked up at his boyfriend and couldn't believe that he just heard him giggle. “What?” Brian suddenly asked after noticing that Justin was amusedly gaping up at him.

“You are giggling.” The blond smilingly said.

“Blame my adrenaline. I'm so hype, uhh!” He jumped up and down three times and giggled again. “Justin, make me stop!”

Justin was starting to double and laughed so hard.

“Stop laughing at me!” Then he couldn't help but to laugh with Justin. “I'll get back at you when we get home.”

“Oh, I can't wait, Mr. Kinney.”

They showered and got dressed after that. It was really a great day, the weather was already cold as it should be in late-October, but Brian bought them suits that were suitable for the weather.

“God, I don't want to go just yet.” Brian forlornly said as they walked out to the parking lot.

Justin caught his hand and sway it front and back for a while, then pulled his boyfriend to stop.

“We'll be back. But I think it's best if we get back by June. That time, they'll be no more snow, and it would be the beginning of summer. Perfect weather.”

“June? But that is in eight months!” Brian was looking at him with wide eyes. Justin loved this side of Brian the most, the one where he was acting like ten year old kid.

“I know. But it will start to snow soon and it's not really safe especially for beginners like us. We could try in May or even the last week of April. Okay?” Justin was sounding like a teacher talking to his pupil.

“I guess. Come on, I'm hungry. And I want to get more shots from my camera on the way home.” Brian pulled Justin's hand and they almost ran to the truck.

They drove back to Pittsburgh and arrived after over an hour. They decided to eat a fat steak for dinner and enjoyed talking about their day. It was almost ten in the evening when they arrived home, sleepy and tired.

***

“I'll book us for a massage this afternoon.” Brian said to Justin flexing his left arm out. They were eating breakfast at Starbucks that Sunday morning.

“I didn't know riding a dirt bike would do this to you. My ass is burning.” Justin pouted as he squirmed a little on his seat.

“And not in a positive way.” Brian chuckled, reaching out to hold Justin's neck and pulled him for a kiss. “Thank you, though. You make me so happy, Justin.”

“I'm so glad to hear that.” Justin smiled lovingly at him.

“Hey, are you working this Thanksgiving?” Brian asked and dunked a piece of croissant to his coffee, Justin crinkled his nose.

“No. I worked thanksgiving last year, so this is my off year. I have to work on Christmas, though. But I'm free from Wednesday to Saturday.”

“Perfect. Let's go to South Beach?” Brian hopefully asked.

“You want me to go on a vacation with you?” For some reason, Justin was looking at him dubiously.

“Yeah. Of course. I want us to go on a short vacation. We can go Tuesday evening after your classes, then we can come back on Saturday afternoon. What do you think?”

Justin looked at him for few moments, then a smile was creeping slowly on his lips.

“Okay.” He simply said but Brian could see that Justin was excited.

Brian kissed him again on his lips exuberantly, saying that he'd book their special getaway himself.

Justin went to work not long after, and Brian went to visit his son for a while before returning to the loft. He needed to get some important personal documents that he needed to discuss with his lawyer the next day.

Unfortunately though, Michael was sitting on the top stairs, standing up as he saw Brian lifting the elevator door.

“Brian, hey…” He greeted nervously.”

“What are you doing here?” Brian sternly said.

“I want to talk to you.” When Brian didn't move to open the door, Michael said, “Please, Brian. I just want to talk, promise.”

Brian glanced down to his wristwatch and saw it was already 11 o'clock in the morning. He moved to open his door and slid it wide enough to let them enter.

“Okay, talk.” Brian said sitting down on an armchair.

Michael followed and took the sofa and let out a deep breath. “I want to say I'm sorry, Brian. I realized that, what I did to you was so out of line. I should've listened to you when you said I should respect what you want.”

“Honestly, Michael, I never thought you'd stoop that low. We might be lovers before but we are friends first and foremost, and friends don't do that to each other. I respected you because I always treated you as family. And that was the only reason I didn't call a police on you.”

Michael was starting to cry, wiping his face and nose with his sleeve, but he still remained silent.

“I didn't ask for my memory to be wiped out like this but I have to try to live with it. I'm not the same anymore, Michael, nothing will be the same anymore, I'm not that Brian anymore.”

“It's just too hard-- to-- accept, Brian.” Michael hiccuped the words out. His face was blotchy from crying.

“I know. It's hard for me, too, honestly. One third of my life was missing, Michael, and there's a possibility that I won't be getting it back. But I have to accept it and moved on, I want you to do that, too.”

“I promise to try. But, babe, please forgive me. I want us to be friends again.”

“First, stop calling me babe. You never call me that in public, so I know it's really not a hardship on you. Second, I have always been a friend to you, it was you who wanted to throw it away. Lastly, don't try, do it. If you think you can't, then I'm sorry but I can't be around you anymore.”

“No, Brian! I'll do it, I promise I'll do it. It would be like the old times, you and me best friends for life.” Michael tried to sound enthusiastic and convincing.

Brian gave his friend an encouraging nod, standing up to subtly tell Michael that the talk was over.

Michael pursed his lips together and nodded understandingly. “I should go.” He said pointing to the door.

Brian nodded and walked him to the door. Michael told him that he'd call Brian the next day, then he was out of the loft.

He glanced down to his watch to check the time and searched for his important documents. It was already half past eleven.

He smiled triumphantly as he found the papers and proceeded to call the massage clinic to make an appointment.

He actually didn't need to take some clothes with him because almost half of his wardrobe, except for his suits, were already taking residence in Justin's closet.

They should be talking about their living arrangements, but Brian was too aware of how soon it was for them to even think about that. But they were already almost living together and Justin seemed to be fine with it. So, why not make it official? It would be better though if Justin would agree to move to a bigger apartment. 

Well, he'd try to broach the subject while they were vacationing in South Beach. Justin would surely protest about the rent, but he'd try to find a compromise with his boyfriend. If not, then he'd be happy to just move in with Justin.

It was not a question anymore if he was in love or not, as he stood there, he couldn't even imagine sleeping alone in his huge empty bed without his blond on his side anymore.

Their afternoon went great. Brian was outside the Starbucks at exactly one p.m., driving them to the Wellness Spa salon. They had enough time to eat a light lunch and so they went to the little resto bar two doors down.

Brian booked them a special couple package that made Justin's eyes widened after learning the price. Brian knew his boyfriend was uncomfortable whenever he spent too much on him. He understood where Justin was coming from, though.

He sure would hear something about their South Beach vacation when it would finally sink in with Justin. But he'd deal with his boyfriend’s queening out whenever the time comes.

Toby and Kai would be their masseurs, but different staffs would be doing their various other treatment as well. Their packages included a custom facial + a body scrub + a 90 minutes massage + a hydrotherapy soak + the manicure and pedicure.

It was so relaxing that they both fell asleep after the massages.

They were out of the Spa at seven o'clock in the evening, feeling revitalized and invigorated.

***

“Justin, can I asked you something?” The brunet asked as they were lying in bed that night.

“Sure.” Justin was running his thumb on Brian's jaw.

“Where is your family?”

He felt his boyfriend stilled for a moment, then he cleared his throat.

“My father can't accept a faggot son, he threw me out when I came out and wanted to divorce my mother because she was kind of okay with me being gay. But I have a little sister and they had a pre-nup agreement that would basically left my mother with nothing. My dad threatened to take her to court for my sister’s custody.”

Brian listened with a frown on his face. “Where is your mom and sister now?”

“My dad gave her another option, they can stay married but they will have to move to my father’s hometown, Syracuse, and start their life there. My dad sold his two electronic stores here and moved my mom and Molly away. I don't know, but I guess, It wasn't easy for my mom, but I understand why she had to do that. Molly’s future is more important than her principle. I was adult at that time, Molly was only eight.”

“When did it happen?”

“Just before I turned eighteen. I stayed with a friend.”

“Boyfriend?”

Justin was silent, then minutely nodded his head.

“He had hurt you, too, didn't he? Your boyfriend, I mean.”

“I was young.” He whispered, “And I hurt him, too.” Justin bit his lower lip.

“Did you-- did you love him?” Brian's chest was beating so fast. It was crazy but he was actually jealous that Justin might've loved his first boyfriend and the thought that he could still be in love with the guy was twisting his heart so tight.

“It didn't matter now, Brian. I have you now, and I will always be with you as long as you have me. Right at this moment, nothing and no one could make me give you up. It's you that I want to be with, kissing me, making love to me, eating breakfast with me.”

Brian's heart leaped up after hearing his boyfriend's words. He was so happy knowing Justin was beginning to love him, too. He could feel it, he knew his feelings were reciprocated and Brian couldn't ask for more.

“I feel the same, mo chroí.” He said lovingly to Justin.

“Hey, I was meaning to ask you but I always get distracted. What's ‘me kree’? You've been calling me that since we first had sex.”

“It's Gaelic for ‘My Heart’.”

Justin glanced up in wonder, “You've been calling me that all this time?”

Brian bit his lower lip and nodded, he looked almost shy.

“Yeah, you are my heart from the very start. You have it since that night I saw you at Romeo's.” He kissed Justin softly, “I feel like you already have it even before I met you. And I have a feeling that you will always have it, Justin.”

Justin's eyes began to tear up and he kissed Brian so passionately. The brunet felt the tears rolling down Justin's face and he pulled away to wipe it.

“Hey, it's okay. We'll be okay.” Brian said pecking him on his lips.

“You always have mine, too, Brian.”

Brian was surprised by that. It wasn't because he didn't think Justin meant it, as a matter of fact, he totally believed him because he felt it. But he was just surprised from the conviction in his voice. Justin sounded like it was an obvious fact already and that Brian should've known it for so long now.

***

Michael started to text Brian the next day. To his relief, it was only to greet him ‘good morning’. He busied himself checking for the best accommodation for their thanksgiving getaway in between meetings all day long. In the end, he chose the The 1 Hotel that had the most positive reviews.

He had to be careful not to book the most lavish suite, he knew his boyfriend would already go ballistic with what he got for them.

The days had gone by, and by Tuesday evening, two days before thanksgiving, Brian was waiting for his boyfriend outside the school campus to go on their flight to Miami. They only had enough time to check in and it was time to go.

Brian flew them in business cabin instead of first class seat. Justin was excitedly vibrating beside him and Brian held his hand most of their flight.

As expected, Justin went nuts after checking the suite Brian had for them. The hotel itself was so luxurious that made the blond's head spin.

“Just let me do this, Justin. I want to do this for us. Please…” Brian kissed his neck while wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's stomach from behind.

“I'm just…” Justin tried to explain but he knew that he couldn't say no to Brian. Justin wanted them to enjoy this moment.

“Don't make money be an issue for us. I know you are a proud man, Justin, but I hope one day we can say that what mine is yours and yours is mine.”

Justin reached for his cheek and moved his head to kiss Brian's chin. “Okay”.

Brian turned Justin to face him. Then he proceeded to show how his boyfriend made him feel like the luckiest man on earth.

***

Brian's phone was blaring the next morning waking them both up from deep slumber. He took it from his bedside table, answering it without checking who was calling him.

It turned out to be Michael.

“ ‘Lo?” Brian croaked on the phone turning his head to the other side and finding the back of Justin's neck. He kissed and sighed contentedly on it.

“Brian? Brian are you at the loft?” 

“Mikey? Why are you calling this early in the morning?” He shifted and spooned Justin to him.

“It's not that early, silly, it's already eleven. I'm outside your loft. Are you inside?”

Brian opened his eyes and smiled thinking why they were tired that morning. He shifted his lower limbs and felt the sting in his ass that Justin had given him last night.

“No. I'm out.”

“Oh. Uh, where are you? I can wait until you come in. But you've changed your lock and--”

“Michael...” he cut him off. “I'm not in Pittsburgh.”

“You're not?” Michael's voice was shocked. “Are you working?”

Brian let out a sigh, “No. I'm on vacation.”

“Vacation?” His friend’s voice had gone an octave higher. “But how about the dinner at mom’s tomorrow evening?”

“I can't come, obviously.” Justin shifted to face him, giving him a smile and kissed his lips. Brian chuckled lightly kissing Justin back.

“What? Why? How about-- Are you in bed with someone?” Michael was trying to contain himself and Brian was too aware of that.

“Not your business, Michael. I need to go.”

“Wait, Brian! How about Gus? He would want you there.” Michael was trying to point out how bad the idea it was to just sprint out of Pittsburgh especially in thanksgiving.

“I already talked to my son yesterday. He understood, I promised to have dinner with him when I come back.”

“But I was at Lindsay's last night and she didn't say anything.”

“I said I talked to my son and not Lindsay. Why do I need to ask permission from her?” He was starting to get irritated.

“No, of course, of course you don't. We just want you there, Brian.”

“Now you know that I can't. Tell Debbie for me, please. Bye, Michael.” He closed the phone without waiting for a reply.

“Your friends will miss you tomorrow.” Justin murmured on his neck.

“Nah.” He shook his head. “They will be fine. They might actually enjoy the dinner now that I'm not going to be there. Besides, this way, I'm giving them reasons to talk more about me.”

Justin was quiet for a while, then his hand creeped down to Brian's butt making him start to heat.

“Don't even think about it, mo chroí. It's out of order for today.” Brian said, Justin chuckled and kissed the brunet's shoulder.

“No problem, I'm going to wait to feast on it tomorrow. I'll have it with my turkey baster here.”

Brian laughed out loud, rolling Justin to be on top of him. The young man moaned as their dicks lineup together.

“Ride me.” Brian requested as he sucked on his boyfriend's neck.

“My pleasure.”

***

Lindsay and Debbie had tried to call later that evening, but Brian both ignored the calls. Instead, he and Justin had strolled the length of the sand and dined in the hotel’s restaurant.

The next morning, they were lounging under a large umbrella on their patio facing the beach. Justin was slouched in between Brian's legs with his back glued to the brunet's chest. One of Brian's hand was holding a bowl of fresh mixed fruits in front of justin, while the other was holding a fork, feeding them both.

“Justin?” Brian tentatively called his boyfriend's attention.

“Hmm?” Justin hummed as he chewed a pineapple.

“What is your opinion about monogamy?”

Brian had admittedly been bothered about this especially when Justin hadn't given him even a hint about the subject. He wanted to know if the blond was pro-monogamy or if the idea of being monogamous would irk him.

“Honestly, Justin. I want to hear your take on this.” Brian said urging his boyfriend to tell him his mind about it.

“I guess, the idea of no other but you and I, is like an ultimate dream, Brian. It is like saying that we are enough for each other and already satisfied of what we've gotten at home to seek more from outside.”

Justin didn't look up at him, instead he moved his knee up, leaned his body towards it, and put his arms around it.

“But on the other hand, if you decide that you ‘have’ to do it, then I can live with it. I honestly prefer for us to be opened and just set some boundaries maybe, but it's better than pretending.” Justin glanced back from his shoulder and gave him a small smile.

“I guess, what I want to know is if you want to be with anyone other than me.” Brian asked looking back at him.

Justin looked out at the ocean for few silent moments, then shaking his head.

“No.”

Brian waited for him to continue but he didn't say more after that. Brian actually felt relieved to hear that because he didn't know what to do if Justin wouldn't want to be monogamous with him. He might go crazy thinking someone else was touching him. 

Brian didn't say anything but fed him a kiwi chunk and ate the last piece of mango. Then he set the bowl aside and took Justin to his body and held him tightly nuzzling his neck.

“I'm glad we're on the same page.” He continued nuzzling Justin's neck. “I don't want to be with anyone else, either. No one but you.”

Justin looked up at him with an unreadable expression. Then his face broke out into a big smile and kissed him fervently.

***

It was after lunch that Brian called Debbie. She was a lot calmer than Brian thought she would be. She asked why he couldn't come for thanksgiving dinner, and when he told her he was away for a much needed vacation, she somewhat distractedly say, “Good for you. Enjoy your time.”

“Everything's all right, Deb?” He knew he was pulling away from his so called family and friends, but Debbie would still be someone who had literally saved him when his own mother couldn't even bother. She patched him up number of times from the beating he took from his father, and his mother had only watched and took a sip from her sherry bottle.

Debbie was a great mother to Michael. He couldn't remember how many times he had wished she was his mother, too. He didn't care if he would grow up like Michael did, he actually felt Michael was lucky he didn't have a father.

He could say Debbie wasn't really thrilled with him when he started showing up at her house with Michael. She loved her son and wanted him to be happy and Michael seemed to be oddly happy with his company.

At times when he found himself alone with her, she always reminded him to take care of his son and to be sure Michael wouldn't get into trouble because of him.

He really didn't understand it at first, because as far as he was concerned, he was the one saving Michael from being bullied at school. That was how they had met actually. He saw him being pinned to the wall by three big boys. He scared them away and Michael kind of latched on him after that.

One week later, he found Michael surrounded by the same bullies again asking for his money. He pushed one of them who stumbled down to the ground but Brian didn't expect a punch to his jaw from one of the others.

Michael insisted that they'd go to his house and let his mother checked on it, that was the first time he went to the Novotny's house. Debbie was looking at Brian askance. When she asked what had happened, Michael just told her that someone had tried to punch Brian.

Debbie skeptically looked at Brian but helped to clean his cut with an antiseptic, nevertheless. She didn't say much but her body language said it all, it clearly said she didn't like Brian befriending his son.

The bully had stopped for a while because Michael was practically tied to his hips. Brian was supposed to get away from him, he didn't want how Michael evaded the truth to his mother about him being punched. When he asked him about it, he told Brian that he didn't want his mother to get more worried about him, she was already way too overprotective.

Brian tried doing his own thing, like going to the river to take pictures with his most prized possession. That was actually the only thing that made him happy for many months since he had the camera. But Michael kept insisting that he liked to see the places he took his pictures and Brian let him to tag along.

As someone who had grown in a house where everyone was ignoring him, who was constantly being told how he wasn't wanted, and the only time his father was giving him some of his precious time was to hit him, he would tend to like the attention Michael was giving him.

Michael looked up to him like he was a superhero, and with his comics filled brain, he was so certain that Brian would be there to protect him from the super villains. Brian was too aware of the situation with Michael, but the strange friendship made him feel somewhat important and being wanted for once, and Brian decided that he liked the feelings it bought him.

So, who cared if Michael never told Debbie that Brian's bruises were from his bullies? He also liked how he could act defiantly with every dubious looks he got from her. He was acting rebellious with her, maybe something that he couldn't do in his own house. But it was also because she never really cared to ask Brian his side and never even thought that Michael could be the reasons for his bruises. She just reckoned it was his fault that he was in trouble in the first place.

But then, there were those times when his bruises were from his father. And to his dismay, Michael had blurted out to his mother that his father was hitting him.

Debbie was an angel sent at those moments. She'd patch him up, gave him Ibuprofen and feed him with a plate full of pasta. He'd convinced her not to report anything to the child services, he said he didn't want to be in a foster home.

Fortunately, she agreed. She always helped him whenever he needed to be cleaned up, though sometimes she'd make snide remarks of him being a troublemaker who loved to provoke his father.

But she still did something that his own mother couldn't even be bothered. And she was so great with Michael, the best actually. She loved him so unconditionally and Brian had wished that he was her own son, too.

“Deb?” He asked again when she became silent.

“Oh, everything's fine. It's just Vic being stupid again.”

Brian closed his eyes and somewhat regretting that he even asked. “What did Vic do now?”

“He called yesterday saying that he wasn't really feeling well and therefore couldn't come to the dinner. He doesn't want his true family. What he wants is Rodney. Well, he can eat shit with Rodney!”

Debbie started her words calmly but somehow ended it shouting.

“Debbie, did you consider that Vic might really not feeling well?”

“I know an excuse if I hear one.” Brian felt those words weren't only for Vic.

“Okay. Gotta go now, Debbie. Happy thanksgiving.”

“Yeah, you too.”

So, Debbie was in a foul mood, what's new? But Brian thought Vic wouldn't blow his sister's thanksgiving dinner if he didn't have a real reason to do it. Like he wasn't really feeling well.

He decided to call Vic, even if it was only to wish him happy thanksgiving. The sick man answered him after five rings and had a hint of happiness to hear Brian's voice.

“Hey, Brian…” He softly answered.

“Hey, Vic. I, uh, I just want to greet you a happy thanksgiving. I am not in town, so…”

Vic chuckled a bit, then breathe heavily, “Let me guess, my sister laid it on you, too.”

Brian smiled a bit. He and Vic might not be that close ever since, or they might become closer-- who knows, but he remembered he was always pleasant to talk to.

“Nah. Not really. She was to you, though.”

Vic was silent for a while. “I'm sure she did.”

“Are you okay, Vic?”

“Not really, kiddo. But, I still got it. So, where do you spend your thanksgiving?”

“South Beach.”

“Hmm, nice. And I bet you have someone there to warm your bed, huh?” Vic was sounding a bit mischievous.

Brian smiled looking at his boyfriend who was sketching the beautiful beaches in front of the floor to ceiling glass windows. 

He was momentarily distracted and Vic chuckled lightly.

“I guess, you have your ‘special’ getaway, huh, kiddo?” He chortled.

“Yeah”, he shyly said. He wasn't still comfortable telling someone about his private affairs, even if it was Vic, well, especially Vic and Debbie, it was just a courtesy for being the mother and uncle of his ex.

“I'm glad that you are moving on. Not that I didn't think, uh, you know-- I mean, that's life.” Vic sounded perplexed all of a sudden. Brian thought, it was because of the near slipped of the tongue about his past relationship.

“Yeah…” Brian worried his lips. “I am moving on.”

“Just like what the song said, Sometimes Love just ain't enough.” Vic let out a deep sigh.

Brian never had any talked about his previous relationship to anyone except for Michael, of course. This was the first time that anyone from their circle of friends had actually mentioned it.

He thought it was because their friends were all aware about the relationship being on the edge already, what's with him not remembering anything. Brian was almost sure that Michael was blabbing everything to the gang and so they didn't want to give their two cents that might stress it even more. 

It could also be because he didn't really get closer and didn't interact with anyone of them, he just didn't feel comfortable where he could actually talk to them about his personal life.

Vic could be a good one to talk to, but by the time Brian was released from the hospital, Vic was also starting to get sick. Not a couple of months after, he was being hospitalized due to his organs shutting down. He was so sick for few months while his doctors tried for the combination of cocktails that his body wouldn't reject.

He got better for a month or so after finding a good combination of drugs but it was rejected again by his body that made his heart collapsed.

He was hospitalized for the second time where he met Rodney. He was there to visit a friend who was occupying the bed in the same room as Vic. He guessed, the two got to talking and hit it off since then.

Vic was hospitalized again for the third time in the middle of that year. After few months of recuperating, Vic moved in with Rodney. He actually got better after that. But his doctor still haven't gotten to finding the right combination for him. Every trials was being rejected by his body.

There wasn't really a time where he and Vic could really sit and talk. Even if there were few occasions that they could've, Brian wasn't about to open up to someone that he really didn't know. Vic could have talked to him, though, but the man was busy living his life with his boyfriend. He couldn't begrudge him the time that he wanted to be with the love of his life.

But hearing him now giving his two cents about Brian's previous relationship, he felt like, given a chance, Vic could be a great friend.

“I know. I mean, I can't even remember anything, but-- yeah, I guess I want to close that chapter of my life. I want to have a new one.”

“Well, I guess Michael has told you, I shouldn't be surprised, even if he was the one insisting on not saying anything about it. We all decided not to mention it to you because of your amnesia especially when the doctor told us it was better for you to remember on your own. But, hey, kiddo, if one door closes, a window will open. Just remember that.”

“Yeah, Michael has told me. He told me everything about it. I still can't believe that we---” he sighed deeply. “I guess, it's better that it has ended now that I can't remember any of it.”

“It ended because you two weren't communicating anymore. I know you both still love each other but it wasn't easy to have a relationship when you weren't on the same page with one another. I was rooting for you two, you know. I have seen how he made you happy, Brian.”

That made Brian so quiet. His mind was reeling about Michael making him happy and they were both in love with each other. He felt a little guilty thinking how he didn't feel that way anymore.

Then his eyes caught the sight of Justin still hunched down on his sketch book. He knew then and there that he had made the right decision. He’d never regretted that he had met Justin. Even if the consequences of that was letting a lover of nine years to go.

“I think, it just wasn't meant to be.” He said in a soft voice. Michael was still Vic’s nephew and he didn't want to hurt the man by saying awful things about his ex.

“Yeah, I guess so. Did anyone knows about this companion of yours?” Vic’s voice had turned mischievous in split second.

Brian smiled again, “No. I want it to be private for now.”

“Good thinking. Anyway, nice talking to you, kiddo. You take care, okay?”

“Okay, Vic. Thanks. You take care, too.”

Then Brian closed the phone.

“Is Vic okay?” Justin asked from the chair, looking at him with obvious worry on his face.

“I don't really think so. But he said he still got it, whatever that means.”

Brian had told Justin about his friends. He told him how he met Michael, Vic and Debbie, how he knew Lindsay from his art class. Brian told him how he couldn't remember meeting Emmett, Ted and Mel, and how they all seemed not to connect with each other anymore.

Brian also told him how Vic was suffering from his illness and how his sister hadn't been so supportive about having his own life with his boyfriend.

With all that, Justin just listened. He asked a couple of questions but he just mostly listened.

“He knows that I have someone with me on this getaway.”

“Really? What did he say?” Justin placed his sketch book on the table and walked up to him on the other side of the room.

“He agreed that I kept you from them. Justin, does it bother you?” Brian was thinking about this actually. He wanted to show Justin to his friends, but he knew it wasn't the right time. 

Brian and Michael's relationship might be over, but it wouldn't be so polite to throw Justin on his face. Then there were Debbie and the gang. Debbie was Michael's mother and was so protective of him. Brian didn't want to put Justin in scrutiny or worse, scorned Debbie and Michael would be a disaster waiting to happen.

“It doesn't, Brian. Maybe in time, we all get to know each other. But there is always the right time for everything. I trust you to know when it would be.”

Brian cupped his boyfriend's face and leaned down to kiss it. “How did I get so lucky to have you?”

“I'm the lucky one.” Justin blushed.

“Okay, we are both lucky to find each other. Deal?”

They sealed the deal with another round of shower sex that made them took an hour of nap after.

They had their thanksgiving dinner later that evening at the hotel’s restaurant. Then, Brian held his hand and took him to walk on the beach as the sun was setting on the horizon. It was an exquisite view, something that would take your breath away.

They had been walking for fifteen minutes when Brian stopped him and looked over to the pink and orange hues painting the darkened sky.

“Do you believe in fate or destiny?” He asked softly, still not letting Justin's hand go.

“Yeah. I do.” Came the soft reply.

“I doubt it if my missing eleven year old mind would believe in something so sentimental like this. But, I do, you know. I do believe that we were destined to meet, we are destined to be together, and we are meant…” Brian shifted to face Justin and held the back of his neck. “... And that we are meant to fall for each other.”

Justin's eyes widened as he heard his boyfriend's words.

“I can't explain it, neither do I want to think so much about it, but I know, I know that I love you, Justin. It's crazy to think how I can feel like this when I just met you. But I do, and I want you to know that.”

Justin's eyes were full of tears and it fell down his cheeks as he closed his eyes. Brian's hands were still holding Justin's neck and he held onto the brunet's arms that was hanging on his shoulders.

“I believe you are my destiny, Justin. I feel like I already loved you even before meeting you.”

Brian lifted his face, cupping his cheeks and wiped his tears with his thumbs.

“Don't cry, mo chroí. I don't want you to cry. I want to make you smile and I'll do my best to make you smile until we get old and gray and all wrinkly.”

Justin chuckled at that and Brian leaned down to kiss his lips. The kiss got hot and Justin was scratching Brian's back while Brian's hands were on Justin's hair and neck, pulling the blond closer to him.

When they pulled apart, Justin looked up from under his lashes and whispered, “I love you, too, Brian. I love you so much.”, and the young man's breathe hitched.

Brian might want to hear Justin saying the words back at him, too, but he didn't expect to hear it at that moment. And hearing it coming from his boyfriend's mouth, it was just so surreal. He didn't know that a person could possibly feel so high and so happy just from hearing that three little words.

He excitedly took his boyfriend to his arms and lifted him from the ground. Justin was giggling, saying, “Put me down, Brian!”

They ended up rolling on the sand. They both rode the excitement and happiness they were feeling until they were out of breath.

Brian settled on top of Justin and placed his nose on the crook of Justin's neck, kissing it lightly. Justin was playing with Brian's hair who was well aware that it must be full of sands by now.

“Justin, I want to live with you.” Brian suddenly blurted out. This day was certainly a day of revelations.

Justin's hand stilled for a moment, then it resumed to run through his hair again.

“We are living together. We are sleeping together every night.” Justin's voice was so soothing.

“Yeah, but it's not official though. I still go to my loft in the morning to change to my suit. I still have my computer there, too, and my collection of shoes and--”

“I'd love for you to move in with me, Brian, you know that. But I don't think my closet could accommodate all your clothes. Even if I will take my own clothes out, my closet is still small for your wardrobe.”

“I guess.” Well, this was it. Brian took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Hear me first okay? If you don't agree, I'll back off, I promise.” Then he leaned back and settled himself on his elbows taking some of his weight off of Justin.

“Okay.”

“We can check another apartment. A slightly bigger one than what's yours now. We can have one much nearer to your campus or wherever we decide to have.”

“I guess it's all right. But I want to pay half the rent.” Brian had known Justin would say this.

“How about we open an account, a joint one, then you can put your share there, the same amount you are spending now on your rent, utilities and food. Would that be okay for you?”

“I think you are leaning on to lease a high end apartment. Let's just get a reasonable one, Brian.” Justin absently ran his hand on the brunet's arm.

“Of course, we can. But you need a studio and I want a study, even just a tiny one. We should get a bigger dining room, so we can eat at the table if we decide to, in lieu of the sofa.”

“But what about your place?” Justin asked in a soft, tentative voice.

“I want to sell it.”

Justin shockingly gaped up at him.

“You really shouldn't, Brian. I mean, I think you should wait until you can at least remember something from your past.”

“Why is that?” Brian curiously looked down at him.

“Well, the place might have some sentimental values to you, you know. I don't want you to regret selling it when someday you'll find out its importance to you.”

Brian looked blankly at him, his mind was actually thinking that the loft must be the place where he and Michael mostly spent together for nine years and that life for him was over. He actually wasn't comfortable bringing Justin there, he hadn't even given Justin the extra key he had for him. 

And it wasn't because he didn't want to taint whatever memories he might have there with Michael, but it was because he wanted to separate Justin from the life that he couldn't even remember.

It didn't make any sense, but he wanted his life with Justin be away from his friends, away from his past. He knew he needed to introduce him to them one day, but if he could, he wouldn't.

“I don't know about regrets, but I know that it's not my home anymore.”

Justin had this unreadable expression again. 

“Just wait, Brian. Please don't make any hasty decisions, okay? That's all I'm asking.”

Brian nodded and leaned down to kiss him.

“Okay. I guess it's okay. It's all been paid and it only needs to be cleaned once a week.”

Justin smiled up at him and Brian kissed him again. They kissed and groped until they were both so rock hard and rutting on to each other.

“Justin, I want you in me.” Brian whispered in his ear.

“Then let's go. I'm ready to have my feast.”

***

Friday and Saturday came so fast. It was a lovely and relaxing vacation that they both surely wouldn't forget. 

When it was time for their flight back home, both was a little sad that they couldn't have this paradise for longer than three days.

Brian said they should try going to Maldives on their next vacation which made Justin to totally agree.

They arrived at Justin's apartment, or their shared apartment now, at five in the afternoon. They were so tired that they just unpacked and threw their soiled clothes to the hamper and slept soundly until four in the morning.

They went to have their breakfast at Starbucks a little earlier as they were both hungry from not having dinner the other night. Seth, who was always scheduled to open the shop at five was a little surprised to see them that early but happy to serve his friends, nonetheless.

As they were munching their breakfast, the couple began planning about their move. Brian listed down the criteria they both wanted to have for the apartment.

So far, they both agreed to have three bedrooms. One for the master's bedroom, another for Justin's studio and the last one for Brian's study. They wanted a big closet, a good space for both dining and living room, too.

The location would not be too far from either the school or Justin's work.

They departed with a promise to have a dinner together later that evening.

Brian went back to their apartment and called a real estate agent and set an appointment with him. The agent, Jonathan, tried to get the specifics Brian preferred to have in an apartment. When they were done, he told Brian they could meet together the next day to check some apartments that he could find.

Brian went to visit Gus after that. Lindsay was a little uncharitable but Brian didn't give a shit, really. It was Gus he wanted to see, not her. Melanie just nodded at him in greetings and went back to reading a file.

Brian took Gus out and they went to the park to play, then a decision came to him as he was driving to take Gus for lunch.

It was only eleven thirty and Justin was catering to an older man carrying a newspaper. No one was on queue but there were some customers occupying the tables.

Justin broke out into a smile as he saw him, but his eyes had gotten bigger when he looked down and saw a mini Brian holding onto his boyfriend's hand.

Brian took his son onto his arms as he walked to the counter. He was smiling, and greeted Justin with a simple, “Hey”.

“Hey. This must be Gus.” He said shifting his eyes onto the kid clutching on Brian's arm, who was looking at Justin shyly.

“Yeah. This is Gus. Gus this Justin, he is daddy’s heart.” Brian said staring into his boyfriend who had this twinkle in his eyes while looking at his son. That utterly melted Brian's heart.

“Hi, Gus boy. How are you?” Justin greeted the little guy who was biting his thumb, looking a bit shy.

“ ‘Lo, daddy's heart. I'm okay, fhank you.” Both Brian and Justin had their ‘aww’ faces at the sweet kid.

“That's so sweet, Gus. Thanks for calling me daddy's heart.”

“Daddy said you are daddy's heart.” He innocently said.

“Yes, he is daddy's heart. Now, daddy's heart is going to be busy in a while, why don't we order. What do you want to eat?” Brian asked his son, giving him a kiss on his forehead.

Gus was looking at the food through a glass counters and pointed to chocolate cookies.

“Okay, why don't we have two chicken paninis and two cookies. A glass of milk for the little guy here and black coffee for his gorgeous daddy. Kindly add a bottle of water, mo chroí.”

Justin gave him a sweet smile and nodded. Telling him to take a sit with Gus and he'd bring the food over to them.

Not long after, Justin was walking up to them with a tray on his hands. Brian stood up as soon as he saw his boyfriend and took the tray from him.

“Thank you, do you have a time to sit with us?” He hopefully asked, looking back at the counter to see if it was busy. He was happy to see it was empty and the other female worker, Bea, was standing behind wiping the counter.

“Yeah, but only for few minutes, though.”

He sat opposite Gus giving the kid his cup of milk and placing one plate of panini in front of him.

“But I want cookie.” Gus said looking at the sweet food that was placed in front of Justin.

“Yes, this cookie is yours. But you need to eat your lunch first, okay? It will make you grow tall and big as daddy.” Justin said seriously. He talked to Gus like he was an adult person.

“Okay. Then I can have my cookie, daddy's heart?” Gus was looking at Justin with his big brown eyes.

“Of course. I'm just keeping it safe right here.”

Then Gus nodded enthusiastically and bit on his panini sandwich.

“You are good with children.” Brian commented as he bit on his own panini, too. Justin smiled while drinking Brian's coffee. Brian noticed that his boyfriend was looking at his son so fondly, and their interaction was quite easy and seemingly familiar. “We have an appointment with a real estate agent tomorrow at 1:30. Is that okay?”

Justin nodded his head in affirmation. After ten minutes, the blond regretfully noticed three people lining up at the counter, he stood up to help Beatrice.

The customers picked up by that time as the lunchtime was imminent.

He hadn't had the time to go back to Brian and Gus before they finished their meals. Brian went up to him with a sleepy Gus on his arms, saying he'd be back at one.

Then Gus was waving to him and said, “Buh-bye, daddy's heart.”

A collective ‘awws’ was heard from the line in front of Justin. The blond waved back and made a gesture of blowing a kiss to the kid.

***

Brian was closing the door to Gus’ bedroom when Lindsay appeared in front of him.

“Bri, hey…” She started tentatively, running her fingers on her loose bangs curling it to the back of her ear.

“Hey, Gus is napping. I better get going.” He said starting to walk down the stairs, but Lindsay grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Brian, I hope you will not make it a habit of going away from your son in every holidays that we will celebrate.”

Brian shrugged the hand on his arm and turned to look at Lindsay.

“Whatever I decide for my holidays is no one's business but mine. I told Gus before I left for my vacation. As far as I'm concerned, he understood. So, I don't see any problem with that.”

Lindsay bit her lower lip, “Why didn't you tell me and Mel?”

“Why? My concern is for Gus, and only Gus, not you and your wife. So, if you are finished, I need to get going.”

“What happened to you, Peter? What happened to our friendship? Why are you detaching yourself too much from me, from us your friends? It's been two years since the accident but you are becoming more distant than ever before.” Her eyes started to get misty.

“I'm not your Peter anymore. I'm not sure how'd you even do that to me, to make me believed in something so idiotic and foolish. I'm still solving the puzzle. The idea of Wendy and Peter who never grow up were ludicrous and ignorant. And I'm neither an idiot nor ignorant.”

“Bri, why are you being like this? This is the amnesia talking not the real you.” Her tears were falling freely now.

“No, this me talking, the real Brian Kinney. I don't want to be that person I became, Lindsay. Because I tell you I would never give up my son. I would never agree to be just a donor, not with the childhood that I had. I don't know what you did that you had me agreed to this, but I hate it. I hate it so much.”

This was the first time Brian had laid what he was feeling to any of the gangs. He guessed, even him had limits when it came to bottling up emotions.

“You never told me-- why didn't you say that you wanted us to have a family--” Lindsay's face was blotchy, and she rested her fists on her chest.

“I don't want a family with you. Not that kind of family, at least. It's about my rights, Lindsay, and the fact that I considered giving a sample then just signing my kid to you like he was a fucking dog. I have difficulty in understanding it.”

“We never manipulated you. You signed it like what we have discussed. It was a deal, Brian.”

“Maybe, that's why I hated the man that I become. I will do my best not to be that man again. I want to be a better dad for my son.”

“But we loved you, with all your imperfections, Brian. We loved how you were so honest and got the balls to tell us like how it was. You loved yourself, too, Brian. You got whatever you wanted when we were younger, the looks, the wealth, the power, and everything in between. You were happy, Brian. You loved life, you loved being worshipped by those men who were literally drooling for you. That's who you are and we loved every inch of you!”

“That's not what I want to be. That's not me. I don't want to be that man.” Brian said in conviction.

“What's going on here?” Melanie asked from down the stairs. She was looking between the blotchy Lindsay and the flushing Brian.

“I was just asking Brian about thanksgiving. I told him it wasn't fair to Gus that his father was absent during dinner.” Lindsay said turning to smile at Melanie.

“I also told her that I am not Peter. I will never be Peter again. I want to actually grow up, unlike her.”

Then he looked at Lindsay first then at Melanie and continued to climb down the stairs, leaving an open mouthed Melanie behind.