Justin's POV

The loft door slams shut and I feel all my resolve crumbling. How could I be so naïve? Were there any signs I missed? I must have known it was Brian; how could I not? Grabbing a pack of cigarettes I light one, inhaling deeply, letting the harsh smoke smolder through my lungs.

I walk closer to the canvas and study the painting more intensely as I take another drag from my cigarette. I let my eyes graze over every feature and emotion of the young man before me. I am astonished how I could not have noticed it before. The hair and eyes are different but the facial structure it basically still the same. I look deeper into the green eyes and see a haunting desire to be loved and wanting to love in return.

I have seen that in Brian, though for the most part he has pushed all of those thoughts and feelings aside. I wonder if I had anything to do with that. If that one mistake I made changed his life forever. The sadness overwhelms me and I am stunned for a split second to feel what Brian is feeling; his pain, his want for revenge and love at the same time. I am so angry at myself for being the one who caused him to break completely.

Bringing my fingertips to my lips I kiss them lightly laying them upon the canvas over Brian's features. "I love you Brian. I can't lose you; you are the only one I ever wanted and needed. I think even from the beginning when we met at Babylon I knew. You felt so familiar to me but I could never bring myself to fully believe you came back to me."

Tears stain my cheeks and I try to hold back the whimper escaping my lips. I mourn for the teenagers we once were and the suppressed adults we've become. I always loved my first so much that I made myself stop thinking of him. I had to move on and I needed to be complete for Ethan, not holding anything over his head. Looking down at my empty right hand, only the faint indentation from Ethan's ring remains.

I am pulled out of my thoughts when I hear movement in the loft. My heart skips a beat hoping against all hope that Brian returned home; that we can patch up this misunderstanding. I look to the kitchen and living area but everything is still and silent. I realize the movement is coming from the bedroom and I slowly walk up the steps with a slight smirk on my face; "so, I see you missed me," I say playfully. I am shocked to see no one is there. Frantically I look throughout the room and turn to the rest of the loft but it's empty as well. I walk into the bathroom and open the door noticing right away no one is there either.

I hear another noise and I stand frozen in time. I am not able to even comprehend the sensation I am feeling at the familiarity of the moment. A tear rolls down my cheek as the sound gets louder and yet more soothing. I let myself feel all the emotions that the music of the sensual violin evokes in me. I lay my head in my hands and weep silently.

Lifting my head and turning slightly, I see the translucent form of my deceased lover standing by the entryway of the bedroom playing his violin. He looks up and winks at me and his voice is like the wind; whispered and hushed. "Of course I miss you. You are my muse even now."

He smiles at me and moves closer gracefully, his form is bathed in glowing lights of orange and gold. Ethan reaches out to me cupping his hand upon my cheek and his touch is like feathers barely tickling my skin. My body tingles from the sensation. He kisses me gently on the lips. "Justin, my lovely and talented muse, I am so happy for you. I know things seem difficult right now, but I never want you to regret anything. Please never wonder what I think or feel. I am above all this now; you are still alive and amazing as always. I want you to live; to love with Brian. I think he is ready and I know you are." He looks deep into my eyes and I am taken aback by the vision of everything in his translucent orbs. "God, he's beautiful and you already know how I feel about you. What a stunning pair you make."

I can't even trust my voice to speak. I can feel the trembling throughout my whole being. "Ethan, I can't. Not if I know you are watching. I don't want to hurt you."

He pulls away smiling playfully. "I have always known there was someone in your life before me. I felt it the first time we made love. No, you never told me but I knew." He begins to fade away.

"Ethan," I call out his name in desperation. "Please don't leave me. Not now; not like this. Are you trying to make me feel worse for moving on?"

Ethan laughs. "No, I'm not trying to make it worse. I know what a conceited prick I could be at times too. You saw through all that and still loved me. You loved me with all your heart and soul. You gave me a wonderful life and I like watching over you now. You are always a part of me, Justin, and you deserve all the happiness in the world."

"How can I go on, knowing you're looking after me? I don't want to hurt you, even now I…"

He touches his hand to my trembling lips. "Shh," he smiles at me again as his aura illuminates around him. "How could you hurt me when I am the one who brought you together again? With a little help from yours and Brian's children, of course?" He winks at me and laughs mischievously. "You're made for each other."

He kisses me softly on the cheek then fades. I look around at the empty loft as violin music engulfs the room one last time. I am left with a huge smile on my face.

Even though I can no longer see Ethan I feel his love all around me. The scent of roses and dark chocolates wash over me and I bathe myself in the memory of his love. I am so thankful he cares so deeply for me, even now, by letting me go. I run my hand through my long blonde hair laughing. "Fuck!" I'm almost hysterical when it really hits me; Ethan brought us together.

I whisper. "I will always love you too," into the night breeze and Ethan's joyous laugh echoes back through the loft.

I am brought back to reality as the phone rings and I sprint to get it, desperately hoping that it's Brian. Grabbing the phone I speak breathlessly. "Brian?"

I hear a small laugh. "No it's Michael."

"Oh. Um. Brian's not here but when he gets back I could…"

Michael cuts me off mid sentence. "Justin, Brian's here at my house."

"Thank God! I've been so fucking worried. Is he okay? Is he coming home?" I feel the tears wanting to break all my emotions free.

"Justin, Brian's a wreck. He's pretty drunk and is staying the night. I know it's not my place to interfere but I wanted you to know he is safe."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Michael. I have been worried out of my fucking mind. We didn't part on great terms."

"Yeah, he kind of told me all that."

I am rather shocked. "He told you?"

Michael laughs. "Yeah, he told me." He is silent for a moment then speaks almost hesitantly. "When Brian got here he was pretty wasted. He kept on rambling about finding the one. Justin, I should not be the one telling you this but you two belong together. Brian loves you; he confessed it tonight. After he told me I asked if he wanted me to take him home to confess his undying love to you. He said you both needed time to think. He thinks he really fucked up this time so I'm letting him stay here tonight."

I speak softly. "He didn't fuck up completely. Shit how can I convince him of that?" I clear the lump of emotions from my throat. "Thank you for calling and letting me know where he is. I can at least be a little relieved that he's safe, even though I know I won't sleep if he's not next to me."

"Well, another reason why I was calling was I thought maybe you could come over here and I don't know, knock some sense into him."

I let out a breath I did not realize I was holding. "Thank you, Michael. I'll be there real soon. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

Michael laughs. "I think I have an idea. Now get your ass over here, Boy Wonder."

I chuckle at his nickname for me. "You know, Michael, I will never understand why you call me that. We are the about the same age."

"Yes, but not all of us are as lucky to look so young in our thirties and forties, now get over here and take care of your drunken boyfriend!" He laughs and hangs up.

I creep into Mikey's dark spare room and crawl into bed next to my lover. Gently I cuddle up next to him and lay my head on his chest feeling his warmth. I let his heartbeat soothe me to sleep.

I am awakened suddenly by Brian yelling at Mikey to get off him. I realize instantly that he has not seen me yet. I look up and smile and he is shocked to see me. After I tell him I will not let go of him or play high school games we both lay in silence for awhile.

Gently Brian rolls on top of me and smiles. "So how long have you known?"

I grin up at him. "How long have I known you love me?" I reply smugly.

"No, not that." He playfully smacks my thigh. "How long have you known it was me?"

I blush slightly. "Not until you told me." Brian pulls back straddling my legs, I raise up a bit, resting my elbows on the bed, feeling rather stupid. "Shit Brian, how could I have not known that was you?" I whisper. "Brian, that was the best night of my life and I pushed it aside because I was so afraid of never seeing you again. You were always the one. You were always my moon."

He smiles down at me. "Your moon?"

I blush ducking my head and he cups my chin to look at him. "Justin, explain."

"You were this amazing, dark and mysterious entity that shone through my night."

Brian chuckles in a flirtatious manner, swooping down he kisses me tenderly as his smile plays across my lips. I lose all thought and understanding as Brian's tongue enters my mouth letting his warmth reassure me of our love.

He pulls back smirking when I gasp at the loss of his touch. He raises a brow. "Are you even the least bit curious about how long I've known?"

""You mean you'll actually tell me?"

Brian smirks wickedly. "Maybe, maybe not."

"Okay," I say hesitantly. "How long have you known?"

Brian leans down again kissing me softly then pulls away. Moving close to my ear, he whispers, "I have know since the moment I saw you."

I pull away slightly and look at him questioningly. "You knew who I was at Babylon?"

He shakes his head capturing my lips with his. He breathes against my mouth and looks into my eyes. "I knew I loved you the first time I saw you all those years ago."

I am confused and baffled by his confession but I don't want to break the spell of the moment. I wrap my hand around his neck bringing him into a deep passionate kiss. He pulls away from the kiss breathlessly as I trail kisses up his jaw line and to his ear. "I love you, I love you, I love you," I chant sweetly into his ear. Brian wraps his arms around me tightly and gently makes love to me as I lose myself in his unspoken commitment.