Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Looking over his shoulder to make sure they were out of sight, Justin let go of Brian’s waistband and slipped an arm around his waist instead. Relieved, he felt Brian’s arm about his shoulders, pulling him closer.

“Is Gus okay,” Justin asked.

Brian nodded. “I spoke to my lawyer. I’m keeping Gus.”

“Legally, you mean,” Justin said.

“Yes. When I gave up my parental rights to Gus, I also gave up any legal obligation to support him financially. But Lindsay kept coming to me for money, and you know I never said no.”

“No,” Justin agreed. “Not even during the Kip Thomas crisis, when you were left with thirty-three dollars and forty-five cents after giving her a check for day-care. I never knew day-care cost that much!”

Brian snorted a laugh. “You remember that? That was before I signed my boy away.”

“Of course I do. So, having given Lindsay money even after signing that fucking piece of paper, what can you do?”

“It was all about good faith and all that – I mean, I even kept up with the payments on the life insurance. I shouldn’t have had to.”

“That was one expensive foreskin,” Justin grinned.

Brian shrugged. “I’m glad Mel had JR with Michael. Michael still has his parental rights, but he doesn't contribute to life in lesbo land. Doesn't even pay for tuition, or anything. Now I can claim equal rights. Tom has it in hand.”

“You want to cut out Mel,” Justin frowned.

“Not Mel, Lindsay.”

Justin shook his head. “I don't understand how you can do that.”

“Actually, it was Melanie who gave me the idea,” Brian said.

“Melanie? I thought you hated each other.”

Brian smirked, but said nothing.

Justin sighed. “You are complicated.”

“Complex,” Brian contradicted.

“And resourceful,” Justin smiled.

“So are you,” Brian smiled back. “My slayer of dragons and evil fag hags.”

Justin laughed. “I didn’t slay anybody. I wanted to, but as you are so opposed to violence… I only took you away from the wicked witch.”

Brian squeezed his shoulders. “I always liked that about you.”

“Liked what?”

“You act, when everybody else still thinks about it.”

“I learned that from you,” Justin shrugged. “You got Ted a job at the agency, while Michael and Emmett were still wondering how to stop him having cyber-sex.”

Brian shuddered dramatically. “Don't remind me.”

Justin laughed. “Was it really that bad?”

“Worse,” Brian wrinkled his nose. “Used condoms and tissues all over the place. He never even opened a window. Small wonder all his plants were dying!”

“Ugh,” it was Justin's turn to wrinkle his nose. “Gross.”

“Rather,” Brian agreed.

They kept walking in companionable silence for long minutes. When they reached a branch in the path, Brian stopped. “Which way, Justin?”

Justin tilted his head. “Up there is the formal garden with all the aromas, right?”

“The 'scenterprise',” Brian grinned.

Justin groaned and laughed. “That’s so bad it's good, Brian. What’s down there?”

Brian shrugged and set off in the direction Justin had indicated. “Why don’t we find out?”

Justin was glad he hadn’t wandered off into this area of the park by himself. Tall hedges either side of the path made him feel claustrophobic, a feeling that was enhanced by the huge trees growing closely behind the hedge.

Brian pulled him nearer, and Justin realized he had sensed his unease.

“The hedges are not as tight as they look, Justin. You can walk right through them. I had them planted as a visual barrier for the wildlife. I didn’t want JR get run over by a stag.”

Justin sighed. “How do you always know what I’m thinking?”

“I don’t. Maybe if I did, we’d not have so many misunderstandings.” Brian heaved a sigh of his own.

“I’ve been thinking,” Justin said, waiting for Brian to say something snarky. Brian didn’t.

After a moment, Justin continued, “I think I’ve been listening to too many people. And somewhere along the line, I stopped paying attention to what you were doing.”

Brian nodded. “We’ve both been guilty of the first. I don’t quite get what you’re trying to say with the second.”

Frowning, Justin tried to explain. “I mean, when we first met, I looked at the things you were doing. With you, actions do speak louder than words. Later, I got confused.”

Brian sighed again. “And now, you’re confusing me. Did I stop doing things you liked?”

“No,” Justin shook his head. “People were telling me you should be doing certain things for me, because that’s what they wanted for themselves. So, I was waiting for you to do something other than what you were actually doing.”

Brian was quiet for a moment, then shook his head. “Was that supposed to make sense, Justin?”

Justin snorted. “It makes sense to me.”

“Less words, more to the point, please,” Brian said, his voice stern.

But Justin was back to reading Brian, and he sensed his amusement. “You sound like Mr. McGee.”

“And who is Mr. McGee, may I ask,” Brian shook his head in exaggerated exasperation.

“My English teacher at St James,” Justin explained.

“Ah,” Brian said. “He was onto you, was he?”

“I guess,” Justin grinned. “Will you get sore if I give you an example?”

Brian pushed his tongue into his cheek. “I can't promise that. But I can promise that I’m not going to run away.”

“Good enough,” Justin sighed. “The Rage party?”

Brian grimaced. “If you must.”

“The first thing that comes to mind,” Justin shrugged. “Okay. Looking back, I can see that I was aware you weren’t comfortable with Rage. And at the time, I thought you were jealous that Michael and I were collaborating. So, throwing that party was a really loving thing to do, because you didn’t agree with what I was doing, but you supported me anyway. I know you wouldn't have gone to such lengths if it had been just Michael. If I had paid attention to you, and not to the nonsense everybody was spouting, I would have thought it was hilarious that you were fucking Rage.”

Justin chuckled. Yes, that was so like Brian. Why had he missed the implications then?

Brian shrugged. “I shouldn’t have.”

“I didn't get it then. But I’m getting it now. Which doesn’t mean I understand it.”

“Elucidate?” Brian raised an eyebrow at him and turned a corner in the hedge.

Surprised, Justin found himself on the banks of a small glittering river that hurried over sparkling pebbles. Bluebells and celandine grew everywhere. A small wooden bench stood on one side. Brian opened the box next to it and took out a thick cushion. It went over the back and the seat of the bench, and Brian sat down and patted the place next to him.

Justin shook his head, grinning. “You really don’t believe in roughing it, do you?”

“I’ve done enough of that,” Brian said. “Sit!”

Justin sat next to Brian, and without conscious thought, swung his legs up on the seat and leaned against Brian’s shoulder. Brian drew him closer, supporting his back.

“What are you getting, but not understanding?”

Justin sighed. He had half hoped he was off the hook. “I get that you were pushing me away. I don’t understand why you did that.”

“You were fucking Ian. More than once. I thought you’d make up your mind, but you didn’t. I didn’t want you to do it with me just because you happened to be living with me. So, I decided to give you a reason to make up your mind.”

“But I made up my mind the wrong way, didn’t I.”

“Did you? Ian was about your age, and he was giving you what you wanted.”

Justin snorted. “Ethan. He said he would give me what I wanted, but he didn't actually do it.”

Brian remained silent.

“The thing about the breeders? Saying they’re in love so they can get laid? Saying anything so they get what they want? That’s a lesson you wanted to teach me, right?”

Brian’s hold tightened. “No. Certainly not like that. I believed Ethan was going to be good for you, good to you. Otherwise I wouldn’t have let you go.”

Justin snuggled closer to Brian. “Why did you tell Ethan to sign that contract?”

“It was a chance for him, Justin. A big chance, maybe his biggest. Even you must have heard that he wasn't quite the genius he thought he was? When he was tired, or irritated, he sometimes played the wrong notes. I heard it when he was playing on the street. He was arrogant, thought that kind of audience didn't matter. A true artist doesn't think like that. They always give their best. If he had missed that chance, he would have hated you, because you would have been the reason. I don’t want anybody to hate you.”

Justin thought he heard the unspoken words. Not after the way Chris Hobbs hated you.

Twisting so he could look at Brian, Justin grinned. “And of course, you could stop worrying that I was starving to death.”

Brian shrugged. “Your mother wouldn’t have let you starve. I was more worried about your ability to buy art supplies.”

For a long moment, Justin sat still, staring into the merrily bubbling water. There it was again. The man said he didn’t believe in love, yet he did loving things that nobody else even considered doing.

Justin took his legs off the seat and sat up straight, looking at Brian. Slowly, giving Brian time to pull away, he leaned forward. He pressed his lips to Brian’s mouth, softly, gently.

Brian’s eyes drifted shut, and Justin felt him inhale and relax into his hold.

Brian wanted this, wanted it badly.

And this once, he was letting him know.



“I told you he was getting it,” Ted’s triumphant tone made Brian flinch.

Justin drew back, aware of what those words were doing to Brian.

“And what are you doing in this neck of the woods, Ted? Looking for nymphs?” Justin was glad he managed to keep his anger out of his voice.

“Yeah,” Michael said, his voice furious. “And we even found some.”

Brian got to his feet, stretching lazily. “That’s fairies to you guys.” He folded the cushion back up and put it in the box again.

“Aren’t you staying here,” Michael asked, sounding incredulous.

“No, you ruined the mood.” Brian grinned maliciously.

“What mood was that,” Ted said. “You’re always in the mood for fucking.”

“I usually am, Theodore,” Brian agreed silkily. “It may have escaped your attention that we weren’t fucking, though.”

“You were getting there,” Michael said.

“Were we,” Brian said. “Where do you think this is getting you?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I’ll give you time to figure it out,” Brian took Justin’s wrist and pulled him away.



“What’s their problem,” Justin asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

Brian shrugged. “I’ll give you three guesses, and the first two don’t count.”

Justin thought, then stopped dead in his tracks. “No way. Brian! That’s disgusting.”

“Isn’t it,” Brian agreed.

Justin fell back into step with him. What had they been doing? More to the point, what had he been doing? Where was this supposed to be going? He knew what he wanted, but he had no idea whether it was possible to get it.

Next to him, his arm back around his shoulders, Brian sighed. “Can we postpone this until I get back?”

Justin squeezed his waist. “You go and do whatever you have to do, for whatever reason you have to do it. I’ll be here.”

Much to his relief, Brian returned the squeeze.



Approaching the patio, Justin saw that the catering service had arrived, and were busily preparing a vast selection of appetizers, salads, side selections and main entrees. The scents wafting over to them were enticing, and in response, his stomach growled.

Brian laughed softly. “I’m glad you’re hungry again. You’re really thin.”

“And you're downright skinny. I’ll eat if you do.”

Brian looked at him, his gaze thoughtful. “Who have you been talking to?”

Justin shrugged, and tightened his grip on Brian’s slim waist. “What’s that, 27 inches? Or are you down to 26?”

Brian snorted. “All right, all right. I’ll eat.”

Justin smiled to himself. Almost back to normal.

“I’ll go wash my hands,” Brian said. “You coming with?”

“Sure,” Justin said immediately. One up on Michael, who didn’t get to use Brian’s bathroom.
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