Debbie Novatny placed a box of lemon bars in Brian’s hand.  “Not a word about no carbs after 7. You are looking scrawny these days and I’m certain you can stand to get some of your caloric intake from actual food. I am in shock because I can’t believe that Brian Kinney left the backroom early just to give an old lady a ride home from work. Will wonders never cease?”

 “Well Maw, if you must know, there were slim pickings at Babylon tonight and I have certain standards.” Brian smirked as he opened the door to the corvette. “Your chariot, Milady.”

 “Kiddo, back in the day, I would have given my right tit to ride around in a sex mobile like this one. But now I’m terrified that I’ll get wedged in this deathtrap and we’ll have to use the ‘jaws of life’ to get me out of there. It’s a nice night so let’s just walk.”

Debbie linked her arm through Brian’s. “Kinney, have I told you lately how proud I am of you? You have really made something of yourself. You have college degrees, a great job, a nice place, and money in the bank. You’ve done really good, my boy. As you know, I barely made it through high school. All I cared about was boys, clothes, boys, the latest hair-dos, boys, and having a good time. I am okay with knowing that I’m street smart because not everyone can be book smart.

I remember when I used to worry myself to death about Michael getting his school work through his head. I wanted to help my kid but that new math always stumped me. What ever happened to one plus one equals two? And don’t get me started on that algebra. Who cares what the square root of ninety nine thousand is? Thank god for all the help and tutoring you gave my chuckle-head of a son over those last four years of his education. If it wasn’t for you, we all know that Michael would not have graduated high school. If I said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times: even though he may outsmart himself from time to time, that Brian Kinney is one smart cookie.”

“Really Ma, that backhanded compliment was harsh even for you. I think you have cut me to the quick!”

“Don’t be such a drama queen!  All I’m trying to say is you know a lot about a lot of things but, do you know thyself?”

“Maaaaw, I’m pretty sure I know who I am. Let me think a moment. My name is Brian Aiden Kinney. Son of St. Joan and brother to the Claire witch. I’m 6’2” tall, with mesmerizing hazel eyes, flawless skin, and gorgeous chestnut hair.  I’m the most successful ad man in the Pitts and the hottest top on Liberty Avenue.”

Debbie smacked Brian upside the head, “you little asshole! That’s not what I meant and you know it.” She rolled her eyes at the miscreant. “Kiddo, it’s just you and me and tonight I have a few things I want to say to you.  You are going to hear me out and not give me any of your typical Kinney lip, snark, or sass. Do you understand me?”

Brian sighed deeply. I should have known this was coming. I wonder if I can hail a cab within the next two minutes, stuff Deb in it, and call it a night. Debbie Novatny is the poster child for all things tasteless and tacky. The woman is as bold as brass, judgmental to a fault, and when God was handing out couth, she missed the memo. Mikey’s mom is the type of mother only a kid could love. But, she was also the real deal and loves her family, friends, and lost boys unconditionally.  “Yes Ma. I hear you.”

“Okay, so now that I’ve got your attention, I want you to listen up. The other day, I was watching a documentary on that PBS station but only because I couldn’t find my remote control to change the channel and I didn’t feel like getting up. Anyway, I can’t remember if the narrator was quoting Shakespeare, the Bible, or that Socrates fellow but he kept referring to the phrase: ‘know thyself.’  

I got so caught up in what he was saying that I forgot all about my soap operas. At the end of the program I figured that he was trying to explain and break down what we need to do in order to be balanced and well-adjusted. First of all, a person has got to know his strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. A smart man or woman understands that the world is not just a black and white place because there are many shades and degrees of gray. Sometimes we have to bend a little or a lot or we’ll just end up breaking. Knowing thyself means that having pride and being proud is not quite the same thing. You have to be true to yourself in order to avoid making your own way harder than it has to be. You gotta try and be honest to the man you are inside and stop denying your real emotions and feelings just because you are out of your comfort zone.

I know you think I have a big mouth and you’re dying to tell me to shut up and mind my own business.  But I’ve got a big heart too. I hate to see anyone hurting or suffering. Our Sunshine told me that he has cried a river over you. News flash, as if I didn’t know that all on my own because my walls are still paper thin. But you need to cut Justin a little bit of slack, Brian. I get it! You let him in and he messed up. He was immature not evil. He made a mistake and didn’t know how to correct it. Sunshine was barely legal, a seventeen year old kid when you two hooked up. He should have been doing homework, playing video games, and eating milk and cookies before bedtime. But noooo! Thanks to you and my other lost boys, that sweet kid was hanging out in gay bars drinking and smoking God knows what and doing God knows who in that sleazy backroom.”

“Ma, how long have you been suffering from selective amnesia? Have you forgotten that this time, I did not kick Justin to the curb and there has never been a lock on our door? He exercised his right of free will to go or stay.”

“That’s a bunch of baloney, Buster. Sunshine is an artist and you know how sensitive those types are. Just because he agreed to your revolving door policy didn’t mean that he liked it. That poor kid would have sold his immortal soul to Beelzebub in order to have you any which way he could. You broke him.

Don’t get it twisted, Kinney. I felt like Sunshine and that Ethan kid were adorable together and I thought they had so much in common. That is why I adopted Ethan into our family circle.  As much as I love you, I can’t say you were the perfect match for Justin. But that twinkle that use to light up Sunshine’s eyes when he was with you disappeared. These past few months, he was not as happy as he should have been and neither were you. He is still under your skin and you are still under his because you two really love and need each other.

 When did you figure it out that Sunshine was not just a trick who wouldn’t leave? How long are you going to lie to him and yourself that he means nothing to you anymore? Why, Brian? Why do you try so hard to push away all the people who only want to help and love you?”

“Well Maw, let me think for a moment. Oh, I remember now! Could it be that my sainted mother is a sanctimonious frigid bitch? Or maybe my sorry excuse of a father was an abusive drunk who wished that I had never been born? Possibly, the fact that my doting parents shared such a hateful marriage is probably the reason why I am... unwilling, or unable to create a long term, committed relationship of my own. Let’s not forget the fact that I drink like a fish, abuse drugs on a regular basis and have more or less redefined the term ‘promiscuity’ doesn’t help me earn very many brownie points in anybody’s book. I’m an out and proud total screw-up and I am so dysfunctional that I make it a habit to alienate the few people in my life who love me warts and all.  So Deb, how’s that for knowing myself?”

“Kinney, people think you are a rude, uncaring, heartless jerk because that what you want them to believe. But your family and friends…the small group of people who really know you…you can’t fool us. Vic loved you like a son because he could see who you were underneath the camouflage.  If you and Lindsay…mother to your only child…were straight, she would probably be signing her checks as the one and only Mrs. Brian Kinney. My Michael would lay down in the street and die for you in a New York minute. As for me, I care for you as if you were my own flesh and blood. And last but not least, there’s that tough little blond kid who is privy to parts of you that have never seen the light of day. We know you Kiddo, and we see you. You are a generous, loyal, and loving man. But you keep that great guy locked away behind a hundred different masks and concrete walls.

I know you have a heart because Sunshine broke it when he left the party you threw for him and Michael. I was there you know, and I heard it crack loud and clear.  When I got home that evening, I cried for both of you. When this mess first went down, you and Sunshine treated each other like ships that pass in the night. But I’ve noticed something lately, every time you walk into the diner, the kid is all over you like a bad rash. It reminds me of when you two first laid eyes, hands, and everything else on each other.”

Brian raised an eyebrow and muttered, “Yeah, I was just saying the other day that the Fiddler needs to put a leash on his boy.”

“Why would he need to do that now? The train has left the station and they are not on it or together anymore. Haven’t you heard, Stud? Word on the street says those two are no longer an item. According to the chief source of the ‘Gay-vine’…our Emmett…the musician and the artist are a done deal. Justin himself told me that he moved in with his cute little gal pal, Daphne. Earlier this evening he mentioned that he was eager to put that part of his life in the past and chalk it up to youth, inexperience, and ignorance.

I’m not blind, deaf, or dumb and neither are you, Kinney. The kid is stalking you again and you don’t seem to mind at all. Sunshine confided in me about the struggle to win you back. I know you want the kid to sweat a little longer because the asshole in you enjoys seeing him running himself ragged trying to get back in your good graces. Don’t be one of those bitchy catty queens, you’re too good for that. Be the bigger person, and promise me that you will give the kid a break. Kiddo, when you’ve had a moment to think about our little conversation you will realize that you need to be honest and decide that it is time to stop punishing yourself and Sunshine.” 

“You know that I never make promises that I am not sure I can keep, Ma. Besides, Justin and I are both different people now.”

Debbie poked Brian in the chest with a dagger-like red fingernail and got in his face. “I am asking nicely that you will find enough forgiveness in your heart to do what is needed to fix this, Kinney. Those $200 per ounce organic face creams and the fancy French milled soap you stockpile may keep you young and beautiful with skin as soft as a baby’s bottom.  But remember…pettiness and small-mindedness is ugly to the bone. Suck it up and don’t let hurt feelings rob you of a chance at happiness.

Now, listen to your mama. Do yourself a favor and break one more of your iron-clad Kinney rules and go after Sunshine for a change. I promise you that you won’t regret it!” Debbie deposited a ruby red kiss on Brian’s cheek. “Thanks for getting me home safely. I would ask you in for a cup of coffee but you must be exhausted. Go on home and get some rest. Good night, Kiddo and remember that I love you.”

“I love you too, Maw. Later.” Brian turned away to walk back the diner to retrieve his ‘vette and headed home to his loft for some well-deserved rest.

TBC