Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
To the ordinary Buddhist, Karma serves as a deterrent, while to an intellectual; it serves as an incentive to do good. He or she becomes kind, tolerant and considerate. This law of Karma explains the problem of suffering, the mastery of so-called fate and predestination of other religions and about all the inequality of mankind.

Chapter 26

The game had been a huge victory for the Rosedale Bobcats and Gus was riding high on the excitement of the win. He had led his team in his usual quiet and controlled way, throwing pass completions to Austin over and over. The parents were going crazy and the cheerleaders, of course, did their best to keep everyone’s spirits high.

After the game, Brian and Justin, along with Lindsay, Mel and JR stood on the sidelines, waiting for Gus to break away from his team and come over to join them. Several parents had stopped to greet Brian and Justin, welcoming them back after not seeing them since last year. It was nice to recognize familiar faces and Justin felt really comfortable being in surroundings that had seemed so alien and hostile last fall.

Justin was still in shock over the conversation he had with Brian earlier today. He couldn’t believe that Daphne was really pregnant and that in eight and a half months their child would be born. The fact that she got pregnant so easily only reinforced his belief that this was meant to be and that the child’s Karma was closely linked to all four of them. Now, they just had to wait things out and pray that the pregnancy would be healthy and that Daphne would be able to carry it through to its fruition.

Justin watched as Gus finally broke away from the group that was crowded around him and headed towards them. He seemed to have grown another half inch in the three and a half weeks they had been separated. His hair was wet and clung to his scalp and he shook it out as he walked, reminding Justin of the man he had fallen in love with when he saw him make that very same move fifteen years ago. He looked so much like Brian it took his breath away.

Gus broke into a huge smile when he saw his fathers and he went straight to Brian and hugged him, basking in the praises that Brian heaped on him on the success of the game. He then moved over to Justin who also gave him a huge hug and Gus whispered, “I have to talk to you,” in Justin’s ear, even as Justin was about to say the same thing to him. Instead, he held back and said, “That’s fine, Gus. We’ll be here for two days, you have time.”

Gus looked at him and smiled. “I have to talk to you as soon as we get home, okay?”

“Sure,” Justin replied, knowing it had something to do with Ashley.

They made their way out to the parking lot and everyone got into their respective vehicles, promising to meet up at the home of one of the coaches for the traditional after game barbeque. In the car, he listened with half an ear as Brian and Gus talked football and Lindsay and JR talked about the cheerleaders. His thoughts remained on Gus and what they were going to say to each other when they spoke later on tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daphne leaned against the bathroom wall, taking deep breaths as the wave of nausea passed through her and made its exit. She had just finished hurling what was left of her dinner, and as she stood there trying to get her composure back she kept wondering for the umpteeth time why she was so violently ill so early in the pregnancy.

In the past, she had gotten mildly nauseous but she had never actually thrown up. This time, things were entirely different. Even if she had not taken the pregnancy test a few days ago she would have known she was pregnant because her body was completely taken over by the galloping hormones. Her breasts were tender and swollen and every time she looked at, or thought of, food she wanted to puke.

She was thrilled that she was pregnant; she couldn’t believe they had been successful after only one try. Alex had told her it was because all four of them had helped create the child and he was especially proud of the role he played in the conception. He actually felt that he had as much to do with the success as Justin and he was completely caught up in the excitement of it.

Daphne had gone to see Dr. Russo yesterday who only confirmed what they already knew. She was definitely pregnant and from all the early signs everything appeared to be on track. Now she just had to figure out how she was going to survive eight and a half months of this. She wanted to continue working, stopping was never a consideration, however, if she didn’t start feeling better soon she couldn’t imagine sitting for hours on end, listening to patients, trying to concentrate when all she could focus on was the bathroom and the next time she needed to throw up.

Alex walked into the room and took note of his wife’s pale face dotted with perspiration around the hair line as she leaned against the cool marble wall.

“That bad, huh?”

“I’m sicker than a dog,” she replied, “But loving every minute of it.” She looked at him with a weak smile and reached out to him.

He came over quickly and took her in his arms, holding her close. “This will pass, won’t it?” he asked.

“I’m sure it will. Lizzy seems to think it’ll just be for a few weeks then it should go away. It’s just now while the hormones are building up and the body is getting ready to go through this; when the levels are at their highest. She also told me there’s an old wives tale about the sicker you are early in the pregnancy, the better your chances are for completion. Hopefully that’s true and I won’t miscarry this time,” she said quietly.

Alex continued to hold her, rocking her gently and kissing her neck, moving on to her ear. “You are going to be fine this time Daphne. I just feel it in my bones and I know that when early summer comes next year, we are going to be parents and this will all have been worth it.”

She nodded her head, hoping that everything he said was true. She decided then that this time, she was going to share every minute of the pregnancy with him, leaning on him for his strength and support, allowing him to participate in the entire process rather than trying to go it alone and keep her feelings to herself. This time, he was going to share every visit to the doctor, every food craving and even every second of morning sickness. She wanted him to participate actively throughout the pregnancy because she needed his strength to get her through this but more importantly, because she wanted him to feel that this child was one hundred percent his, regardless of the circumstances of its conception.

“Do you want something cool to drink?” he asked solicitously.

“That sounds good,” she replied. “Maybe a mineral water with a wedge of lemon in it, okay?”

“Okay, beautiful,” he said, heading out the door towards the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was midnight and Justin sat in between Brian’s legs, his back to his chest, using it like a pillow, as they watched the late news. Brian kept playing with Justin’s hair, twirling strands of it around his fingers and then kissing him behind his ears and down his neck, tickling him and making him squirm.

The barbeque was long over and they had eaten their fill. Gus had brought Ashley over to their table to re-introduce her to everyone even though they had met her last year. She had also grown a few inches since they last saw her, now reaching Gus’ shoulders and she wore her shiny blond hair long and loose around her face, spilling down her back. Her blue eyes shone brightly as Brian and Justin greeted her and they all understood why Gus was so taken with the girl. She was beautiful in a wholesome, natural way with a killer body and a Colgate bright smile.

Gus had come up to Brian to ask him if he could take the rental car and drive Ashley home. Brian asked Lindsay if Gus had his permit yet and whether he could drive without an adult. Lindsay and Melanie seemed to think it was okay, apparently the laws in Canada were a little different from the USA and so they let him go, telling him to be sure and go straight to her house and then straight home. Since she lived a few blocks away from them Brian wasn’t too worried about it.

“Brian,” Justin said.

“Hmm,” Brian replied, trying to listen to the news commentator but really more engrossed in the feel of the silky blond hair he was playing with and the body pressed up against his groin and chest.

“Remember that conversation I had with Gus in the studio, the ‘sex talk’ we had?”

“How can I forget, Sunshine. You were babbling like a brook when you got into bed that night.”

“Well, he talked to me again tonight, briefly.”

“Oh? And what did he have to say?”

“He said things were much better and he had made some major progress.”

“Thank God,” Brian said softly. “I really had no desire to try and orchestrate his first fuck session.”

“Neither did I,” Justin replied. “He did say that he needed to talk to me some more, though. I wonder what he wants.”

“Well, whatever it is, I’m sure you’ll waste no time in telling me.”

“You don’t think he’s going to ask me for some sex instructions, do you?”

“How the hell should I know? He normally talks to me about things like this. I wonder why he’s going to you now. Did I do or say anything to make him stay away?” Brian asked.

“No, I just think that since we already had this conversation back home he probably feels that he should continue on with me, you know?”

“I guess. But if he wants pointers on how to fuck a woman, he’s going to the wrong person. I have a little more experience in that area.” Brian said.

“Hey, I’ve slept with a woman too,” Justin replied indignantly.

“Sleeping with your best friend twice, just to pop her cherry is not my idea of experience,” Brian said as his hand now moved away from Justin’s hair and slowly made its way down the blonds chest, making little circles around his nipples, brushing his hand lightly back and forth, seeing the goose bumps that appeared automatically as Justin reacted to his touch.

“At least I can say that I’ve slept with a few, his mother included,” Brian added.

“I wouldn’t bring that up, Brian,” Justin said.

“Do I look like I have flies buzzing around my head, Sunshine? I may be a lot of things but dumb is not one of them.”

Justin turned on his side and kissed Brian’s cheek. “No, you are definitely not that.”

Brian turned his head and kissed Justin on the mouth, a light kiss that immediately turned into something more intense as he felt Justin responding and meeting his kiss head-on with a lot more heat.

“Stop it Brian, you know how I feel about having sex in this house with all the people in it,” Justin said, trying to pull away.

“Fuck people,” Brian replied. “Who gives a shit what they hear. Do you honestly think they care one way or the other?”

“Yes I do. I’m sure that Mel and Linds would not appreciate hearing us fucking at this hour, especially with JR around.”

Brian was not to be deterred at this point and he pushed Justin away from him so that he could roll him over and lay him on his back. He got on his knees and tugged at Justin’s shorts, watching his cock spring to attention as he pulled them off, clear evidence that his morals and his body were not in sync at all. Brian happily bent down to take Justin in his mouth and just before he did, he looked up at him with his sparkling cats eyes and said, “First one that moans is a cwazie wesbian.”

“Oh my God,” Justin groaned softly, biting his lip to prevent one more sound from coming out of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upstairs, Gus lay in bed going over the events of the last hour. It had been great to have a car and be able to take Ashley home, to be alone with her, without prying eyes. Even she had been more comfortable and had actually let him put his hand under her t-shirt and bra. He almost came just feeling her breast and he was shocked when he felt her hand slowly make its way down his lap, pressing him tightly around his groin.

“You’ve got to get your own car Gus,” she sighed into his ear as he moved his hand up and down her leg.

“I know,” he replied. “My Dad said he would buy me a car for my sixteenth birthday.”

“Gus, that’s still a month away. Do you think you can persuade him to get it any sooner?”

“I’ll try, Ash. He’s only going to be in town for a couple of days. There might not be enough time.”

“Well, the sooner you get your car, the sooner we’ll be able to do this.”

Gus pulled away from her, shocked. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” she answered shyly.

“What changed your mind?” he asked.

“I love you Gus. You’re all I thought about this summer and I missed you so much while you were away,” she said, in a very soft voice. “I realized that I was being stupid for not wanting to get closer. I want you to be my first.”

“Has anyone said anything to you?” Gus asked.

“No,” she replied. “I just wasn’t comfortable doing anything a few months ago. I wasn’t sure where our relationship was going and I didn’t want to be the subject of any locker room jokes. I’ve heard how the other guys talk about some of the cheerleaders. I don’t want that to happen to me.”

Gus looked at her and felt a little tug at his heart. He knew that she was special and she attracted him more than anyone else he had met but hearing her say these things only made him care a little bit more. He was determined that she would not be talked about or become the brunt of any jokes by the team.

“Ashley, I would never talk about you the way the other guys do. You mean too much to me and I really want you to be my first too. I just don’t know about this whole car thing. My Dad promised me a car a long time ago; before I pulled that stupid stunt with his Corvette. I’m not sure he’s still going to give me a car for my birthday.”

“Well, ask him Gus. There’s no way we can be together without one. I’m not going to have a quickie with you in one of the public areas in school. No way is that going to happen,” she said emphatically.

“I’ll see if I can talk to him tomorrow,” Gus said, already going over his conversation with Brian and trying to figure out how to pull this off.

He fell asleep with a smile on his face, thinking about Ashley and remembering the kisses they had shared tonight, just before he dropped her off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin was sitting at the kitchen table, finishing the last of his coffee. Everyone had gone into town with Brian to make a donut run because they were all having a craving. He had decided to stay, hoping he would be able to have a few minutes alone with Gus.

Just as he was thinking about Gus he looked up and saw him staggering into the kitchen, still bleary-eyed from lack of sleep.

“Morning ‘DJ’, I need some coffee in me…is there any left?”

“Yeah, there’s still half a pot. What are you doing up so early?”

“I don’t know,” Gus answered as he pulled a mug out of the cabinet. He poured some coffee into the mug, along with 3 spoonfuls of sugar. He then went over to the fridge, poured some cream into the mug and grabbed a handful of the grapes that Lindsay had left in a clear glass bowl.

“That’s an interesting combination,” Justin said, watching Gus pop the grapes in his mouth one by one, washing them down with the coffee.

“It’s alright,” Gus said. “I’d rather have pancakes and bacon but I’m too lazy to make it.”

“You want me to do it?” Justin asked.

“No, it’s okay. I want to talk to you, ’D’,” Gus said.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you too,” Justin replied.

“Okay,” Gus said. “You go first.”

“Okay,” Justin said. He took a deep breath and started to give Gus a little background on Daphne and Alex and their problem, moving on to her request and his and Brian’s many discussions and then finally telling him about the decision that he had made.

“Holy Shit!” Gus said. “So, did you guys do it?” he asked in shock.

“Yeah, we did,” Justin replied.

“How? You didn’t have sex with her, did you?” he said, completely stunned.

“No,” Justin said, “Nothing like that. She was artificially inseminated with my sperm,” Justin answered, leaving out all the gory details.

“Oh,” Gus said. “Good thing or Dad would have gone crazy.”

“Gus, your Dad was there the whole time, he and I talked about everything extensively. He knew what was going on from day one.”

“So is everything okay? Between you and Dad?”

“Gus, everything is fine between all four of us. We have an agreement, a legally binding document that we signed before we started the whole process. Everything is all good.”

“Does this mean I am going to have a brother or sister?” Gus asked, wondering how this was all going to work.

“Well, technically, no. The child will not be your blood relative, however it will be in our lives as part of our extended family, only the baby won’t live with you and JR or with me and Brian. The baby will live with Daphne and Alex.”

“Well, that’s if there’s going to be a baby at all, right ‘D’? I mean, this might not even work,” Gus said.

“Actually,” Justin said, taking the plunge, “We talked to Daphne and Alex yesterday. She’s pregnant Gus, and I wanted you to hear it from me before anyone else found out.”

“Really?” Gus said, his face looking a little worried. “Does this mean that you’re not going to be my Dad anymore, since you’ll have your own kid?”

Justin’s stomach heaved when he heard those words coming out of Gus’ mouth. That was exactly what he had feared most and he hoped that he would be able to say the right things to make Gus comfortable and secure.

“Gus, I will always be your Dad. Nothing can change that, no matter how many other children come into my life, you will always be number one in my heart,” Justin said sincerely, putting his hand out hoping that Gus would reach out and take his. He breathed an inward sigh of relief when Gus quickly took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“So, I’m the only one that can call you ‘Daddy J’ right? I’m your only official child, right ‘D’?”

Justin smiled at Gus and said, “Right, Gus. You’re the only one that has ever called me that and it’ll stay that way, okay?”

“Well, what’s this kid going to call you?”

“Honestly Gus, I have no idea. We really haven’t worked that part out yet. I guess Uncle or something, like JR calls me and Brian.”

“But, not ‘Dad’ right?” Gus asked again, wanting to make sure.

“No, not Dad,” Justin said looking Gus straight in the eye. “Alex will be the child’s Dad. I don’t know what they are going to call me although I do know that they are planning on telling the child that I am the biological father. It will be told about the circumstances of its birth.”

“This is kinda weird, isn’t it?” Gus asked.

“It’s different, yes, but not as weird as you think. There are many couples that have children via artificial insemination or a surrogate mother. Some have them via In Vitro fertilization, others ask family members to help. Gay couples in particular have different challenges to meet in trying to have a family. The most important thing is that no matter how a child comes to be, the child should be loved and cared for and completely secure. Honesty is the key, Gus. Knowing how everything came about is critical to the emotional well-being of the child. You of all people should know that.”

“But you and Dad didn’t really want another kid did you?” Gus asked, looking at Justin waiting to hear the right answer.

“No Gus. We didn’t. I decided to do this to help Daphne and Alex. She’s my best friend Gus. I’ve know her since I was six-years-old. Just like you and Austin. If Austin ever needed any help wouldn’t you give it to him?”

“Of course,” Gus replied, emphatically.

“Well, this is the same thing. I wanted to do this for Daphne because nothing else was working and I know she and Alex are going to make wonderful parents.”

“But this will be your kid too, ‘Daddy J’. Aren’t you going to want to be a part of its life?”

“I will be Gus. It’ll just never be a relationship like the one you and I have. There will be another father involved and so things will be different. Your Dad and I will be involved in a peripheral way, the same way we are involved with JR, I guess. We’re close to her and know what’s going on in her life but she doesn’t call us Dad; Michael and Ben are her fathers.”

“Boy, this is so complicated,” Gus said, shaking his head.

“It’s interesting, son, not complicated. Think of it that way,” Justin said, smiling at Gus.

“Okay. Then, I’m cool with this. It’s all good.” Gus said. “Now, can I tell you my news?”

“Of course,” Justin replied, inwardly thanking the fact that teenagers had a short attention span and nothing was more important in their lives than themselves.

“I need a car, ‘D’.”

“You’re going to get one for your birthday Gus, you’ve known that for a while now.”

“Is that still going to happen, after what I did with Dad’s car? Is he still going to buy me one?”

“I’m sure he is Gus, he hasn’t said otherwise,” Justin replied.

“Okay, but ‘DJ’ a month is too long to wait. I need one now.”

Justin looked at Gus, puzzled. “What’s the rush, Gus?”

Gus looked at Justin and rolled his eyes. “Duh…right place, right time…remember?”

Justin continued to stare at him, a frown appearing between his eyes, trying to understand what his son was trying to tell him. Finally, the switch went on in his brain and he said, “Oh, I get it.”

“Finally,” Gus huffed out.

“Sorry, Gus. I’m a little slow on the uptake this morning. Okay, let me work on your Dad and see what I can come up with.”

“Promise me, ‘D’, promise you guys won’t go back to the Pitts till we get one.”

“I can’t promise that Gus. All I can do is talk to your Dad. It will be his decision, since it’s his gift to you.”

“Come on ‘D’, you know you can always persuade Dad to do whatever you want.”

Justin laughed at this statement, thinking of all the times in the past when this was so far from the truth. However, things had changed a lot and Brian was much mellower so maybe he would be able to swing this. Besides, when Brian learned of the reason having a car was so important he knew he would acquiesce.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later on that morning Brian stuck his head in Gus’ room and said, “What’re you doing?”

“Nothing much. Why?” Gus answered, putting the Play Station controller down.

“Get some shoes on, we’re going shopping.”

“We are?” Gus asked, “For what?”

“A car, you big dummy, what else?”

“Oh-my-God-Dad, really?”

“Yeah, really, now haul ass so we can do this.”

In the car on the way downtown Gus asked Brian, “Are we going to get a sports car, Dad?”

Brian took his eye off the road for a minute to give Gus the lifted eyebrow look. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I’m not kidding,” Gus replied. “If I’m not getting a two-seater, what are we going to get?”

“The biggest, safest, second-hand SUV I can find, that’s what.”

“Dad! That is so not cool,” Gus said, surprised at this decision.

“Gus, the last time we had a conversation about ‘cool’ cars you were told quite clearly that there would be time enough in the future for that. I just hope I can find what I want on such short notice,” Brian stated.

“Look, Dad, I know what I did with the Corvette was really stupid but I promise I will be more responsible with this car.”

“Gus, this has nothing to do with the Corvette. This has to do with the fact that your are just turning sixteen, you are an inexperienced driver, you’re bound to have a fender-bender or two and I sure as hell don’t want you in a fast, small car jeopardizing your safety and whoever is riding with you. There will be time enough for that later. Right now I want to make sure that you are safe and have a reliable vehicle.”

They were approaching the downtown area at this point and made their way to the section that had the most auto dealerships. Brian wanted to find something in reasonably good condition with some sort of limited warranty. He was hoping he would find something this morning and not have to spend all day looking for a car. The fact that Justin had sprung this on him so suddenly didn’t really give him much chance to research this whole venture.

Gus’ silence spoke volumes and Brian could tell that he was none to happy with the prospect to having a non-cool car but it was that or nothing, so the kid better get a grip. Hell, he didn’t have his own car till he went to college, so as far as he was concerned Gus was way ahead of the game.

He parked the car in front of the Jeep dealership and turned towards Gus.

“Okay, do you not want to do this because you are not getting the car of your dreams? If that’s the case then we can just turn around and go back home Gus.”

Gus put his hand on Brian’s arm and said, “No Dad, I don’t want to go back home. I’m just surprised that I can’t pick out my own car. It’s my birthday present, isn’t it?”

“Exactly Gus. It’s my gift to you, not the other way around. Besides, wasn’t the whole point of this rush so that you could have a fuck-mobile? How the hell do you think you are going to get anything done in a sports car?”

“Dad!” Gus was horrified that Brian would even bring that up. “That’s not the main reason I want a car.”

“Oh really,” Brian replied. “That’s not what I was told. And since when do you go to ‘Daddy J’ for sex tips. I thought that was something you and I always dealt with?”

“Dad, it just kinda worked out that way. I didn’t deliberately seek him out. We had a conversation some months back, when I was at Britin, and sex was one of the things we discussed.”

“That’s fine Gus. Just don’t be surprised that I know what’s going on. ‘Daddy J’ tells me everything, he always has; well, eventually he does,” Brian corrected himself.

“Right,” Gus said out loud.

Inwardly he thought he was so fucked. This was not the way he had hoped this scenario would play out. However, he was getting his car and he and Ashley would be able to have the privacy they were so in need of. He made the decision to accept whatever Brian bought him and be grateful that he was doing it now instead of later, that he was understanding enough of the problem to not go into hysterics the way most parents would. There was something to be said about having fathers who saw sex for exactly what it was and didn’t try to pretty it up. If he had gone to Lindsay with his dilemma it would have turned into a world class moral debate and he and Ashley would remain virgins until they were married.

“Okay Dad. Let’s just do this. You pick out the car and I’ll be happy with whatever you decide,” Gus said finally.

As it turned out, they found a really good deal, a used Toyota Forerunner that someone had traded in with barely twenty thousand miles on it. It still had two years of the factory warranty left and the inside was pristine. Whoever had owned it was a non-smoker so the car still smelled new. The best part was that it was a ‘cool’ color, a metallic bronzy kind of thing that Gus approved of and so they ended up buying it.

Gus watched as Brian handed over his Black American Express card. They were told that they would have to come back for the vehicle tomorrow, which was fine with both of them because the car was going to be detailed and all the paperwork would take a day to prepare and furthermore, Brian didn’t want Gus driving the car home and getting on the expressway yet. He wanted Justin to come with them in the morning and that way he could drive the Toyota and Justin would take the rental car.

On the way home Brian could tell that Gus was happy with their pick and so he broached his favorite subject.

“Okay son, let’s go over this one last time and then I promise not to bring it up again,” Brian said, putting his hand on Gus’ knee.

“What Dad?”

“This whole sex thing. You do remember how to put on a condom, right? And you have that case of them that I sent you late last year, don’t you?”

“Jesus Christ Dad! Do we have to talk about this?”

“Yes we do, or would you rather I bring this up around the kitchen table, in front of your mothers?” Brian asked looking at his son pointedly.

“No, that’s okay; let’s talk about it now, Dad. This whole condom issue, when exactly am I supposed to put it on?” Gus asked.

“Just before you do it son,” Brian said.

“Doesn’t that kind of ruin the moment?” Gus asked.

“So does an unwanted pregnancy,” Brian replied sarcastically. “Which moment would you rather ruin?”

“Right. I get it,” Gus answered.

“You better get it, and you better do it. And Gus,” Brian said.

“Yeah Dad.”

“Make sure that wherever you park, it’s secure and you don’t get arrested for indecent exposure. I can only imagine the phone call I’m going to get from your mother if that were to happen.”

“Dad, I am not that stupid,” Gus replied indignantly.

“No one said you were, son. But I know for a fact that good sense and boners don’t always go together, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll find that out right away.”

“I’ll be careful Dad. I promise,” Gus smiled as he talked.

“And one last thing,” Brian said, “Remember the conversation we had on kissing?”

“Yes,” Gus replied, smiling widely now. “Smores…I remember, Dad.”

“Okay, everything I said about kissing, the taking your time, the savoring, the nibbling and licking, tasting and enjoying; this applies to all body parts Gus, not just the mouth.”

Gus looked at him with eyes wide open. “All body parts?” he asked, wanting to make sure he understood this statement.

Brian turned to look at him and grinned. “Yeah Gus. Every last part on her body is there for you to enjoy. So take your time and don’t rush for God’s sake. It’ll be hard the first few times but the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it, and if you do it my way you’ll have her under your spell forever.”

“Is that how you got ‘Daddy J’ to love you so much?” Gus asked.

I don’t believe in love, I believe in fucking.

“It certainly helped. He and I have always had great chemistry.”

“Did you know right away, Dad, that you would end up with him?”

“No Gus, I didn’t. It took a long time for me to figure it out, but fortunately for me, ‘Daddy J’ is a persistent little shit and never let up.”

I don’t want anyone else, I want you.

“You think Ashley and I will end up together, like you and ‘D’?”

“It’s too soon to tell Gus. You’re barely sixteen. There’s so much waiting for you, your journey is just starting. There will be time enough to think about permanence and settling down. Whatever you have with Ashley is for now. Enjoy it, treasure it, treat her well, but don’t think this is going to be the only relationship you’ll ever have. Gus, there’s an entire world of women out there. Believe me, Ashley may be the first, but she won’t be the last.”

“But you were ‘DJ’s first, weren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“And you ended up married, so it is possible, right Dad?”

“Anything is possible Gus. But the likelihood of you and Ashley getting married is pretty slim at this point.”

They had made it back home and were parked in front of the house. Brian turned off the ignition and removed his seat belt. He turned his body so that he could look Gus in the eye.

“Look Gus. I know you are more romantic and sentimental than I ever was at your age, and you’re straight. Your concept of sex and love are very much intertwined, unlike mine ever were. And I’m not saying that your way is wrong or mine is right but there’s got to be some middle ground that you need to find. There is such a thing as sex for sex’s sake and there is love and commitment, something you are too young and inexperienced to have yet. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying each other’s bodies without building an entire life around it. Do you understand what I’m trying to say, Gus?”

“I think so Dad. But I don’t want to be like some of the guys on my team that consider women fuck buddies, there to service them. I don’t think that’s right and it’s not very respectful of them.”

“No, it’s not, and I hear what you’re saying. But respect is earned Gus. Maybe some of the girls that your friends go out with don’t respect themselves. Ashley sure as hell isn’t like that, is she?”

“Hell no! Do you know how long it’s taken me to get to this point?”

Brian grinned at his son, thinking that at his age one week was a long time.

“Exactly my point. Maybe if the other girls held out longer your friends wouldn’t be so quick to talk about them the way they do.”

“I guess not,” Gus replied

Brian looked at his son and couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. It didn’t seem that long ago that he was putting him in his car seat, watching as Lindsay and Melanie drove off to Canada with him. He shook his head and promised himself not to give in to sentimentality.

“Anyway Gus, the whole point of this talk is to let you know that you are going to go through a period of time, right after you and Ashley start having sex, when you are going to think that this is it. She is the only one for you and you are going to stick to her and never date anyone again…it’s not going to be that way, son. It shouldn’t be that way. Even if the impossible happens and you do end up with her eventually, you need to go out with other women and experience more before you can make that determination. The person you are now is not the person you will be in three years or five or ten. It’s not possible for you to expect a relationship you are going to have at sixteen to be the one and only one. That is all I’m trying to say.”

“But ‘D’ was barely seventeen when you met. And he said that he knew from the first night he was with you that he loved you,” Gus said.

“That may well be, Gus. But before we went from point A to point M, as in married, he experienced many different things; we both did. This is all I’m trying to say. Don’t get too hung up on this because it’s your first.”

Gus looked at Brian and reached over to give him a big hug. Okay, Dad, I’ll keep everything you’ve said in mind. But if I have any questions, is it okay if I call you?”

“Of course…you can call me anytime son, you know that.”

“I mean, questions about women and satisfying them…you can answer those, right?” Gus asked hesitantly.

Brian laughed at Gus and said, “Believe it or not Gus. I’ve had my fair share of women and I never had any complaints. So yes, I can answer any questions you might have. Okay?”

“But…you’re Gay, Dad. How come you’ve had experience with women?”

“It’s called trying to figure it out, Gus. It didn’t happen instantly for me; there was a lot of pressure from my family so I had to dip into both ponds before I was comfortable admitting who I was and what I wanted.”

Brian tossed Gus the spare set of keys that the dealer had given him, and said, “Okay, that’s enough of this conversation. Happy birthday, Sonny boy, enjoy your car and be safe.”

He was rewarded with a huge smile and a peck on the cheek. “I love you Dad. Thank you so much.”

And in spite all his good intentions, Brian felt his eyes welling up and his heart gave a little lurch as he heard his son tell him so easily exactly what he felt, a feat that had taken Brian so many years to learn and to this day always surprised him when he said it openly and without any hesitation.

“I love you too Gus.”

TBC
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