His client really liked him. He came every day and took him for a few hours. They just went to a hotel – nothing fancy. But he didn’t care. Even a rotten hotel was better than the abandoned warehouse he had been living in. The client even let him stay the night afterwards. Of course, he went home to his family. But he didn’t mind staying in the room alone. He could watch TV and sleep in a real bed.

And the guy kept coming back for more. He was even beginning to look forward to his meetings with the man.  Since he wouldn’t consider any of the hustlers his friends, it was the closest thing he had to a friendship.  They didn’t talk much – the John liked to just get straight to business – but it was obvious the man was seriously attracted to him and it felt good to have someone desire him so much. 

He decided to take the day off in preparation for his meeting with him tonight.  Apparently he was supposed to meet him in a new place.  He was excited to see what the man had bought for their little escapades.  Since he was in a good mood, he treated himself to a nice lunch, knowing that a large tip was coming his way, and decided to take his time getting to know the city.

Michael was beaming proudly as he picked up his very first box and began organizing his new merchandise. Owning his own store felt euphoric and exhilarating. He never thought that one day he, a community college dropout, would be an entrepreneur. But here he was. Sure, the store didn’t look great, but it was his and he loved it. He’d been told that was all that mattered. ‘So long as you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.’ And if there was one thing Michael loved, it was comic books.

He pulled out some of the comic books that had been stashed in the box and frowned in sadness. They were in poor condition, so he wouldn’t get much out of them, but he knew that there were some rare and well cared for comics that he looked forward to putting on display.

He began whistling, even though he wasn’t very good, but he was too excited not to do something. If he wasn’t holding a pile of comics he would have done a little dance as well.

Michael had worked through a few boxes until he heard a knock on the door. He paused, a little confused, because he had a sign up saying the store would re-open in a week. So, he slowly walked over to it and peered through the many posters covering the door and rolled his eyes. “Brian…” He muttered, secretly pleased that his friend had dropped in to visit him. He unlocked the door and pulled it open, smiling up at the bell as it jingled above them.

“This isn’t mistletoe, Mikey. Are you going to let me in?” Brian asked, but didn’t wait for Michael to step aside before gently pushing him out of the way. Michael watched Brian’s face carefully, wondering what his reaction would be to his store.

Michael was dying to know what he was thinking, but he remained impassive. Brian was silent as he weaved through the stacks of boxes. He didn’t even crack a look as he lifted a picture on the wall to peer at the wallpaper behind it. Michael fidgeted nervously until Brian turned back to him and crossed his arms over his chest. “This place is a dump.” He announced but Michael could see a glint in his best friend’s eyes. Michael smiled broadly and shrugged.

“Maybe. But it’s my dump.” He announced proudly and walked behind the counter to the box he was working on. Brian followed lazily, still looking around the store, but then leaned against the front of the counter.

“You shouldn’t sound so…” Brian paused when he lifted his silk sleeve and saw a layer of dust on it. He scowled and brushed it off. “Proud.” He finished and pointedly didn’t touch anything around him.

“I can’t wipe anything down until I get everything catalogued and put away. Everything was in chaos. He had fantasy with sci-fi and-.”

“Mikey.” Brian warned and Michael stopped, still smiling. “Congrats.” Brian finished and Michael nodded, motioning to him.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” He said and Brian raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? How so?” He asked and Michael shrugged awkwardly.

“Well, remember that Captain Astro you got me for my birthday?” When Brian nodded, Michael continued. “I sold it on eBay.” He explained and braced himself for the indignation that was sure to come.

But it didn’t. Looking at Brian carefully he saw the man look around the store again, apparently seeing it in a new light. Then his friend shrugged and seemed to approve. “I guess I could have gotten you a worse gift.” He said and Michael chuckled a little. “What made you think of buying this?” He asked and Michael sighed.

“Well I was so sick of the Big Q. And I didn’t want to go back there…I couldn’t go back there. It would have been a step backwards and I didn’t want to do that. So when I heard Buzzy was selling the store I thought it was perfect. I convinced him to sell it to me, even though he had a better offer and now here we are.” Michael looked around again, still in disbelief that this was real, and he’d done it all on his own.

“You’ve been busy. I was shocked when I went to the diner for lunch and your mother told me what’d happened.” Brian started walking around the store again, so Michael couldn’t see his face, but he knew him well enough there was a reason for his somewhat distant voice.

“Well I would have told you but…” Michael trailed off and glanced away towards one of the figurines he’d found in the boxes. “You already have so much on your plate. I knew you would have wanted to help. But I didn’t want to put more pressure on you.”

“You mean with Justin?” Brian asked, popping open a box and pulling out one of the comics inside.

“Yeah.” Michael said carefully. He still felt so out of the loop where Justin was concerned. When he’d come back from Portland Justin was already settled in the loft and he couldn’t get much out of Brian because he rarely saw him. And everyone else was almost as uninformed as he was and couldn’t offer much other than Justin was in bad shape.

“Yeah…” Brian sighed heavily and dropped the comic back into the box with a plop. “But you’re my best friend, Mikey. I’m proud of you.”   Michael straightened up a little and smiled even broader.

“Thanks.” He said, because Brian being proud of him was one of the things he’d always wanted. Brian nodded and walked back, but his expression had changed. Something was wrong, but he didn’t know what. He was sure he was about to find out, though.

“So, I actually went to the diner looking for you.” Brian said and came back to the counter. “I had to talk to you…about Justin.” Brian explained and Michael was a little confused, but nodded a little.

“Ok. I’m not sure how much help I’ll be but whatever I can do.” He said honestly and with a weak smile. Sure, he and Justin had gotten off on the wrong foot – mostly because of him – but he didn’t want Justin to suffer; if there was a way he could help he’d do it.

“Not like that. Justin needs…privacy for a while. We’re working on getting him to see other people but that’s a ways away. For a long time my loft has been open to everyone. Everyone in our family had a key and you all came and went whenever. That was fine then, really. But…I can’t let that happen now. Justin can’t handle it. So until I say it’s okay, no unplanned visits, no stopping by, nothing. Can you tell the others?” Brian asked and Michael nodded slowly, but with a distinct sadness.

He wasn’t upset that Brian’s loft was suddenly off-limits, he wasn’t even surprised about given what he assumed Justin’s condition to be like. He was upset that these precautions were necessary in the first place. Neither of them deserved it.

“Yeah, I can do that.” He assured calmly as he sat on the chair he had behind the register. “Things are that bad then?” He asked curiously and ignored the beleaguered sag of Brian’s shoulders.

“That’s one word for it.” Brian murmured so quietly Michael almost didn’t even hear him.

“I barely even know what’s going on.” Michael hedged, wanting, needing to know more, but feeling uncomfortable about openly asking.

“Can we not talk about it, Michael? I have to deal with it all the time…I just…I’m taking some time off of work and now it’s going to be constant. Sometimes I need a break from it, okay?” Brian insisted and Michael nodded swiftly, agreeing the instant he heard Brian’s tone.

“Yeah. Just…Let Boy Wonder know I’m worried about him. We all are.” He said and Brian gave him a hard look, as if he was trying to judge Michael’s sincerity. He apparently passed because Brian nodded.

“I will. He’ll like that.” Brian informed, now more relaxed.

“I doubt he’d even care. I wasn’t exactly his biggest fan before.” Michael admitted with a look of regret.

“He likes you, Mikey. He was glad when I told him you’d ended things with that horrible chiropractor.” Brian told him, to Michael’s surprise. He leaned forward on the counter, ignoring the layer of dust, and looked at Brian with interest.

“Really? He didn’t like David?” He asked and Brian rolled his eyes dramatically.

“No one did. You were just too in love to listen to any of us.” Brian was teasing him, but Michael grabbed an old comic and threw it at him anyways.

“Oh whatever. Everyone makes mistakes.” He defended himself with a laugh and Brian picked up the comic and threw it back at him.

“Not me. I’m perfect.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “The sad thing is you actually believe that.” He muttered and looked over the abused comic before setting it back down.

“I believe it because it’s a fact.” Brian insisted and smirked confidently. “Anyways, I got to get back home…thanks, for understanding.” He said and then leaned over the counter to give Michael a deep kiss which made Michael break out into giggles.

“Just go. And if you or Justin need anything, just ask.” Michael waved at him as he left and then frowned and slumped back against the wall. He didn’t envy Brian at all, and wished there was more he could do to help, but unfortunately, he was pretty useless. He was going to go back to work but the bell jingled and he looked up, thinking Brian had come back in.

However, when he looked up he didn’t recognize the man who walked in. “Excuse me we’re-.” He stopped, because he finally saw the man’s face and his heart legitimately skipped a beat.

“Sorry, I saw the sign on the door but that man just left and I thought I’d take a chance.”

Michael didn’t think he’d ever heard such a melodic voice before. Realizing his mouth was hanging open he snapped it shut and nervously stepped out from behind the counter. “I’m Michael. I just bought this store but…I might be able to help you find something in this mess.” He joked and the man laughed a little, offering his hand.

“I’m Ben, Ben Bruckner. And I’m in desperate need of some professional advice.”

Michael hesitated for a moment, because he’d never considered himself a professional at anything before. But he was the one who owned his own store now, so he supposed the shoe fit – and it fit nicely.   “Let’s see what I got.”

Later That Night.

“Fuck.” Justin cursed angrily as he dropped a piece of chicken from the fork back into the plastic bowl. His left hand shook when he bumped it with the binoculars he was holding with his neck as he took a bite of dinner. It felt like a juggling act, and one he was getting very sick of. He set the fork and bowl aside and moved the binoculars onto the top of the back of the couch.

He shifted, so he was kneeling against the couch and looking out the window, before reaching back down to get the bowl. He balanced it on the windowsill and started eating again.

“Think of how much easier it’d be if you used both hands.” Brian was pulling two bottles of beer out of the fridge, so Justin thought he’d gone unnoticed – apparently not.

“Shut up.” Justin muttered defensively, purposefully shoving his gimp hand further into his pocket.

“I’m just saying.”

“Well don’t.” Justin murmured as he set the fork down and picked up the binoculars to peer outside again. He felt something against his shoulder and turned to see Brian offering him one of the beers. He had to struggle a bit, as reaching across himself very nearly knocked his bowl of orange chicken over, and he didn’t miss that ‘I told you so’ look on Brian’s face. Still, he managed to grab it and set it on the windowsill next to his food.

As if purposefully trying to annoy him, Brian roughly fell onto the couch, jostling Justin and nearly toppling him over. He had to drop the binoculars yet again to catch himself. “I’ll do them after dinner, okay?” Justin asked, knowing this was punishment for another day of skipping his hand exercises.

“I didn’t say anything about that.” Brian shrugged innocently as he stole a piece of Justin’s chicken from his bowl.

Justin rolled his eyes and looked through the binoculars again. “If you wanted some why didn’t you order some?” He asked, but he wasn’t really annoyed about the food. Before he could say anything else, Brian snagged the binoculars away and began looking through them himself.

“Alright, who do we have here?” He asked and Justin smiled a bit and let his annoyance slip away as he moved Brian’s head towards an apartment across the street.

“That guy sits in his apartment most of the day with his headphones on synthesizing music. Every once in a while he’ll go full on DJ. He’ll get up and pretend he has these turn tables in front of him. It’s pretty funny.” Justin explained as he looked out the window to the left most apartment he’d been spying on. They were much easier to see now; before they’d been somewhat blurry blocks of color.

Brian chuckled softly as he stole another bite of Justin’s chicken. “He looks like a stick bug.”

Justin laughed heartily and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he does. I call him the Music Man.”

“Ah, Harold Hill.” Brian supplied, but Justin didn’t have any idea what he was talking about.

“Who?” He asked slowly and Brian slowly lowered the binoculars and looked at him.

“Seriously? The musical?” He asked and Justin just offered an apologetic shrug and shake of his head. Brian scoffed and swiftly looked away. “God you’re so fucking young, Sunshine.”

“Sorry.” Justin murmured innocently and took a bite of his food.

“We’re going to have to do something about your cinema education.” Brian told him and then moved the binoculars over. “So that’s the apartment that breeder family just moved out of?”  He asked and Justin nodded with a scowl.

“Yeah.  Two men just moved in.”  He was not happy about that development.  He didn’t need new people disrupting his schedule. 

Brian glanced at him, but didn’t comment on his clear disgust.  Justin was glad, because the fewer times Brian saw just how neurotic he was the better.  “And next to it?”  Brian asked instead.  “What’s there? Oh god!” Brian swiftly dropped the binoculars and gagged in disgust.

“What?” Justin asked curiously, and reached for them. He had to know what got such a huge reaction out of the man. However, before he could raise them up to his eyes, Brian’s hand stopped him.

“Breeder sex. I’m doing you a favor.” Brian said, jerking them back and away from him. Justin couldn’t help but laugh some more.

“This coming from a man who says it isn’t exciting if there aren’t at least three people involved.” Justin retorted and Brian held up a finger to silence him, a dead serious expression on his face.

“Men, Sunshine. Three men.” He corrected and Justin laughed as he pushed Brian’s hand away. “I’m serious. This is an important rule.”

“Oh yeah, it’s right up there with ‘no accepting drinks from strangers’ and ‘always use a condom’. Always have sex with men.” Justin started laughing again and Brian chuckled along with him.

“Always remember that one.” Brian teased and then took up the binoculars again. “So, let’s just skip Ward and June Cleaver over there and find something else….” He said slowly scanning the apartment building windows for something interesting. Justin watched contently, a small smile on his face.

“They’re not exactly like the Cleavers.”  Justin informed in a scandalous whisper.  “Ward has another woman over almost every day around lunchtime, and June goes over to Harold’s apartment and he fucks her.”  He informed and Brian raised an eyebrow in interest.

“Oh really?”  He asked and then shrugged.  “Just goes to show how pointless marriage is…”  He muttered before peering into a few of the other apartments across the street.

They would pass the binoculars back and forth, spying on the people across the street. Justin laughed more that night than he had every day since he woke up from his coma combined. Brian brought it out in him.

He suspected Brian felt guilty after what happened with Lindsey and Melanie, so he was trying to make it up to him. He didn’t care why Brian felt the need to give him extra attention, though. He was glad for any opportunity to spend time with him. All of those people that they spied on weren’t real – well, they were, but not to him. Brian was the only real thing he had in his life.

Justin still knew that his time here in the loft with Brian was limited. Eventually, he would get sick of coddling him. He would get sick of his nightmares and losing sleep. He would get sick of not being able to bring tricks to the loft. He would get sick of telling Justin to do his PT over and over again. And then Brian would send him away.

That was a certainty to Justin. It was only a matter of time. So, he wanted to enjoy the time he had with Brian while he could. Until he was really alone and nothing was real. He’d decided that was when he would do it. Even if an institute wasn’t so bad, he didn’t want to live alone – truly alone. So, he’d live until Brian decided he’d had enough.

He’d never say anything though. No, Brian had enough to deal with and he didn’t need this kind of pressure on top of everything else. He loved him too much to do that to him. He’d wait until Brian sent him away, and he’d do it wherever he ended up – make them clean it up.

He showed up at the new place with a broad smile on his face.  They were at the rich end of town.  The buildings were clean and shining.  People didn’t shuffle around like there were hiding something – they walked with their backs straight and smiles on their faces.  He fit in easily, as he used to live in a place just like this when he lived with his family.  He didn’t think of them as he approached Tremont Street though.

He glanced to a couple of buildings on the corner to check the building numbers and then went inside.  He jogged up the steps, anxious to see the inside of the apartment.  When he knocked on the door, however, a strange man opened it.

“Oh, sorry.  I must have the wrong address.”  He said slowly and began to turn, but the man grabbed his arm.

“No.  It’s right.”  He said and pulled him in the room.

He was going to protest until he saw his usual John in the kitchen, looking at him with desire.  He relaxed and flashed the man a smile.  “You brought a friend.”  He pointed out, pleased.  He could use this to double his payment.

“Get into the bedroom.”  He was immediately ordered.  He shrugged and obeyed because the more they worked him the more he could charge.

He went and sat on the bed, and it began almost immediately.  Gone was the efficient, but pleasant encounters with his John.  Now that his friend was there it was a whole new ballgame.  He was tied up.  He was chocked.  He was beaten.  He was gagged and spit on.

He tried to ask them to stop, but he couldn’t get them to hear him.  He began worrying that he wasn’t going to make it through the night.

Justin jerked awake some hours later.  He scanned around himself, disoriented and confused.  He focused on the music he was hearing and turned towards the TV to see the DVD had ended and was now playing the menu music over and over again.  He looked at it for a long moment before realizing he and Brian must have fallen asleep watching movies.

He turned and looked behind him where Brian seemed uncomfortable laying on the couch, pressed back against the cushion so Justin had room to lay down as well.  He smiled, because he didn’t know what woke him up, but at least he didn’t wake Brian up too.

Justin moved slowly and carefully, his hand still slightly throbbing from his PT earlier.  But he managed to shift on the couch without waking Brian and grabbed the binoculars to look outside.  He scanned a few of the apartments across the street before settling on the middle one with the two new owners.  He yawned, still sleepy, and blinked repeatedly.

When his vision finally focused he gasped and cried out at what he saw.  The binoculars fell from his hand and he bent over to begin violently shake Brian awake.  “Brian!!  Brian!  Wake up!  They’re killing someone!!”