Same day, Friday afternoon, The Institute...

“You remember what we’ve talked about, Jack? About the reason why you’re here?” Dr. Collier asked gently.

Brian and Jack were sitting with Dr. Collier around a small table situated by the window in her office.  Brian was peering outside at the last leaves on the trees slowly swinging in the soft wind when Dr. Collier’s voice brought his attention back into the room.

After Jack’s revelation to Brian a month ago, Dr. Collier and Brian had engaged in several sessions with Jack in order to help him deal with his emerging memories. They’d talked about the accident, about Claire and Joan, about what used to be. Jack still had a hard time comprehending that it had been his life, that he had been married with children, and that he hadn’t spent all his life at the Institute. It wasn’t the first time that he’d heard he was living here because of an accident, but until recently it hadn’t made much sense, because he had refused to think about what it all meant. Hopefully, he was beginning to reconcile the images he was seeing in his head, now that he was ready to listen to what had really happened to him seventeen years-ago.

“I’m here because I had an accident and I need some help,” Jack responded simply.

“You do,” Dr. Collier agreed. “I also explained to you that the accident took your memories away; do you remember that part?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know what a memory is, Jack?”

Jack looked at Brian for reassurance, and his son responded with a slight, encouraging nod. “It’s okay; you can answer her.”

“I…” Memory. Jack had already heard that word. In fact, it was all the doctors talked about when he was in a session, either alone or with other people. They even did exercises to ‘stimulate’ his memory, whatever that meant.

“A memory appears in your mind when you think of something you’ve done. It’s the remembrance of a passed event, something that happened earlier in your life,” Dr. Collier explained. “For example, do you recall the first time you saw Brian?”

Jack remembered it very well. It was one of the most wonderful days of his life. “Yes! He came to see me, and he told me his name was Brian! He was so beautiful and kind!” He responded with a beaming smile.

“See? You remember the first time you talked to your son. That’s a memory. You have lots of them, right? Like when you went with Brian to Debbie’s?”

Jack nodded happily. “Her home is so pretty!”

“I’m sure it is…” Dr. Collier smiled back at him, before straightening her body in her chair, and crossing her hands on the wooden surface of the table. “Okay, Jack. Now, I want you to listen to me.” She looked straight at him, waiting to get his attention before continuing. “You had another life before your accident. A life with Brian, his mother - your wife – and his sister.”

Jack nodded several times, peering over at his son furtively. “I know.”

“And... the man you were when you lived with them is not the man you are today. Your accident had consequences to your health, and it changed you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Jack shrugged and frowned. “I’m not sure…Does it mean that it wasn’t me who did those things with Brian?”

“What do you mean?” Dr. Collier inquired calmly. Brian had tensed slightly by his father’s side. Talking about what used to be made him uneasy, even if he really wanted to be here to help Jack deal with that part of himself.

“I have memories I don’t like. I scream a lot,” Jack clarified, gazing away as if he were lost in his own mind.

“You mean you’re screaming at Brian?” Dr. Collier asked.

“No!” Jack exclaimed before shaking his head, “I mean…maybe…” It was obvious by his apparent agitation that he didn’t understand clearly this particular memory. “...but he's different.”

Dr. Collier volunteered, "That was quite a long time ago, Jack. Brian was a teenager when you had your accident, so he looked different in your memories…younger.”

“Okay. But why am I screaming? I would never scream at Brian!” Jack affirmed with conviction. Sitting near his father's side, Brian pinched his lips as he gazed away briefly.

“Jack...You’re not that man anymore. The man you were before the accident isn’t the man you are today. That’s why you see images in your head that you don’t understand,” Dr. Collier explained.

“But it was me, right?” Jack inquired nervously.

“Yes, it was you.” Dr. Collier nodded.

Jack gazed down at his joined hands on the table. He was playing with his thumbs as he focused on them for several seconds, a frown betraying his anxiety. He finally stopped moving his thumbs.  “I… I still don’t understand.”

“Jack…” Brian intervened. He leaned closer to his father, moving his chair to sit right next to him and face him, using a soft voice to try and ease his words. “You and I, we were not friends before the accident. We were screaming a lot at each other. We hurt each other.” He raised his eyebrows and made sure that his father looked at him, his eyes searching for his father’s gaze. “But, we’re not the same now. You’re not the same...You’re a good man," he concluded with a kind smile.

Brian could see that Jack was about to start crying. Since the accident, he couldn’t control his emotions like most people did. He would cry, laugh, always too much, too loudly, his inner feelings impossible to control, which exaggerated his every reaction as a result. Consequently, Brian wasn’t surprised to hear the crack in his voice as Jack pronounced his name, “Brian…”

“Jack, listen to me," Brian interrupted him firmly, taking his hands in his own. “This isn’t your fault; do you hear me?” Jack closed his eyes but Brian didn’t let him stay that way for long. “Look at me, Jack,” he ordered and Jack obeyed reluctantly. “This isn’t you anymore.” Brian held his gaze until his father acknowledged his words with a small nod. Brian released his hands and leaned back slightly, allowing several seconds to pass so Jack could compose himself before he spoke again.  He felt compelled to add one last thing. “You should never, ever let those images make you do things because you’re afraid.”

Dr. Collier intervened.  “Jack…What Brian is trying to say is, you need to accept that you were a different man before your accident, and that you did things back then that you would condemn now,” she stated, looking at Jack. “You know what’s right and wrong, correct?”

Jack had placed his hands on his lap and was gazing down again. He responded quietly, “I do.”

Brian continued, “So, focus on that. Whatever you see or hear, you need to remember one thing: you’ve changed and you don’t hurt people now.”

“But I hurt Mrs. Foster!” Jack exclaimed, appearing ashamed at the memory.

“And it won’t happen again unless you want it to.” Brian raised his eyebrows, giving a pointing stare toward his father.

“I don’t want to!” Jack shook his head. This particular conversation and what had happened with Mrs. Foster was making him restless. Brian could feel his agitation increasing.

“Jack… look at me," he ordered, but Jack refused and shook his head again. “Hey, come on…”

Jack still wouldn't glance at him, but he announced resolutely, “I won’t hurt anyone again. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“That’s good,” Brian replied.

Jack sighed loudly and finally gazed at his son. “And I’m sorry, Brian. I’m so sorry I was such a bad man.” He gazed away, “A bad father. Bad father!” He slapped his own head, looking down as his breath quickened at the thought. Brian didn’t know what to say and feared that Jack would have a crisis, but eventually his father calmed down on his own.

“I see them. Joan and Claire...But I’m always…” He didn’t finish his sentence. Brian could feel his own chest clenching as he witnessed Jack’s inner turmoil. “They were beautiful, right?”

Brian took a deep breath. As much as he wanted to stay detached from these 'help Jack deal with his memories' sessions, it proved to be fucking hard. He responded simply, “They were…”

“I’m sad,” Jack stated honestly.

“I know," was all Brian could think to say.

“I love you…” Jack suddenly stated, gazing up to stare at his son once more. “I really do, Brian. I know I’m not a normal person, but I know what love is. Every time I see you, I have a funny feeling in my chest, right here.” He placed his hand on his own chest, and Brian’s breath caught in his throat.

The brunet shook his head, feeling uncomfortable as always when Jack talked about his feelings for him. “Jack…”

“I love you more than anything. I love Gus, too, but I love you more. Does that make me a bad person?” Jack continued, genuinely wanting to know if he was wrong to love his son more than his grandson.

“No... It’s okay. I’m your son, so you can love me more.” Brian bit back a laugh and smiled, a funny feeling making his way through his chest, too. He peered over at Dr. Collier, who nodded at him with a small grin of her own.

Saturday Afternoon, Debbie’s Place...

The rain had once again started to fall. Not too strongly or not too lightly, the drops were crashing on the windshield of Brian’s car when he pulled over in front of Debbie’s place. He killed the ignition and didn’t hesitate before opening the door and sliding out of the driver's seat.

He knocked on the front door and waited. At the moment, he didn’t know if he should be disappointed or relieved if no one answered the door. The worst scenario would be if Carl was here alone. Not that Brian didn’t like the man, but he didn’t know how he would explain his presence to him, and he wouldn’t be able to just leave, either, not when he was the one appearing on their doorstep in the first place.

Still, for once, he was lucky. He saw Debbie’s face peering at him through the small curtains of her front door before hearing the lock being opened.

“Brian? Honey, what are you doing here? Don’t stay out there; you’re going to catch your death of cold! Come in!” She rushed him inside and Brian dutifully followed her, inwardly happy for the warm atmosphere of her house as opposed to the weather outside. He still had to squint, though, when his eyes landed on her new trinket, a porcelain multicolored bird standing proudly on her buffet with its wings deployed.

“Seriously, Deb? Another one? You know it’s not trendy, don’t you? Do you really want your place to look like some tacky tourist dive?” Brian quipped with a roll of his eyes.  "Aren't you afraid it might fly away?" he added.  "Well, we can only hope," he added under his breath.

Debbie had to fight to hide her smile; she secretly enjoyed the banter between her and her surrogate son; in fact, if Brian didn't have some comment to make about her decorating style when he came to visit, she would feel disappointed.  Pasting a stern expression on her face, instead, she replied, "It's NOT tacky.  It's…unique," she informed him with her head held high.  "I had to look far and low to find that." 

Brian snorted.  "No doubt," he replied with a grin.  He raised his eyebrows at her. “Unique doesn’t make it valuable," he pointed out. "Maybe it’s rare for a reason, Debbie. Like, there was nobody who wanted it, so they didn’t bother making more than one piece. Just one for you.” He finished his announcement with a fake smile, earning a slight grin from Debbie in return.

“Well, I like it. And if you have a problem with my décor, you can stick the reason why you came here to see me in the first place up your ass.” She was the one who had her eyebrows raised this time.

Brian pinched his lips, stopping a smile from appearing on his own face before responding playfully, “That would be pretty fucking painful.”

She smacked him lightly on his shoulder as Brian rolled his lips under.  “Smart ass…How about a cup of coffee with a little strychnine to go with it, then?" she teased him as Brian snickered in response.  "Come and sit down.” Debbie urged him, giving him some time to gather his thoughts

Brian simply nodded before plopping down into the nearest chair. It was rare for Brian to appear on her doorstep unless he needed to talk to her about something. In fact, Debbie wasn’t sure that it had happened any more than a couple of times before.

“I missed you,” Brian told her unexpectedly, making Debbie stop what she was doing to give him a pointed stare. Brian chuckled in response, “No?”

Debbie shook her head skeptically as she around to look at him. “Not that I wouldn’t be honored to think that my pretty face was the first thing you wanted to see in the morning, but somehow I think the odds of THAT happening are about as good as you becoming a priest," she scoffed as she opened up a cabinet next to the kitchen sink to retrieve two coffee mugs.

“You’re selling yourself short, Deb,” Brian replied. Debbie poured some coffee into the cups and walked over to sit next to Brian as she handed one of them to him.

Brian nodded a thanks to her and blew on the steam of his hot beverage before carefully taking a sip.  He placed the cup down in front of him on the table before he suddenly blurted out, "I’ve been helping Jack recover his memories. And I don’t really know what the fuck I’m doing.”

Debbie stared at him, her own cup of coffee temporarily forgotten. She knew how hard it was for Brian to confide in anyone regarding his father. He did talk about him, though, when things became too hard for him to handle on his own. So she wasn’t surprised by his admission, either. “How is it going?”

Brian took another sip of his coffee before responding, “Pretty good, I guess. He actually understands more than I would have given him credit for.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” Debbie volunteered carefully.

“Well…he remembers Claire and Mom. Kind of…” Brian revealed, starting to tap on the cup with his thumb before eventually stilling his finger. “It’s just… He is so different than the man he used to be. He doesn’t comprehend that he was responsible for their deaths, and I’m not sure we should ever go there; but he remembers the yelling, and he doesn’t understand why he was so angry all the time. He said he would never hurt me. Even says that he loves me…” He huffed, his voice slightly cracking over the last couple of words.

“How does it makes you feel?” She asked him quietly. This situation would have been hard on anyone, but when you knew Brian as she did, as well as his story and his relationship with Jack before the accident, you could safely affirm that it was a miracle he hadn’t continued to run away from this situation like he did the first few years after it occurred. 

“I don’t know. He's like some fucking child, Deb, and children tend to love everyone,” Brian responded with a shrug, trying to appear matter-of-fact.  But Debbie wasn’t fooled.

“That’s not what I’m asking, Brian. How does it make YOU feel?” She repeated, the tone of her voice making him gaze up at her.

He held her stare for a few seconds before sighing and looking away. “It’s complicated…”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Debbie replied immediately, causing Brian to peer over at her again. She put her hand briefly on his forearm to further capture his attention. “Brian, the fact that you’re helping him now is more telling than anything else. You want to protect yourself, but most of all, you want to protect him. And that's all any father could ever wish for in a son.” She raised her eyebrows to show him how serious she was about this. She paused - her eyes boring into his - before declaring, “He loves you. The fact that he has the mind of a child doesn’t make it any less real.”

Brian averted his gaze and shook his head. “He wouldn’t if not for the accident.”

“Probably," she answered honestly. "But so what? It's still the truth. He loves you. And you love him, too.”

Brian pinched his lips. Debbie was right, of course. He could deny it – it would be easier - but he knew it was true. He loved the man who had made his life a living hell when he was younger, and he couldn’t even blame him for it.

Yet, letting go of his past was fucking hard, and Brian was struggling. He knew it. But was it fair to blame a man who couldn’t remember any of it, and would probably blame himself ten times harder than anyone else would if he DID remember it? Brian knew Jack would die for him. His love was pure, one of the purest types of love you could encounter in your life. The childhood kind of love. Unconditional. 

So, no, to hold a grudge against Jack wasn’t fair, not now, not after all these years. The more time that passed, the more Brian could feel his resentment slowly slipping away. Would it disappear completely one day, though? Maybe. Maybe not.

“Hey, Honey…” Debbie’s voice brought him back into the moment. “You okay?” She asked him, her eyes showing her deep concern over what he was going through.

“I’m good…” He responded with a small smile.

“You’re sure? Because if you need some help with anything, all you have to do is ask; you know that,” she declared.

“I know. You’ve told me that about a thousand times already…” He responded wryly.

“Never enough…” Debbie teased him back.

Brian gazed up at her with a fond gleam in his eyes. “I couldn’t agree more.” His expression became more serious then, making Debbie realize that he had more to say. “You’ve seen Justin?” He asked her out of the blue.  The change in subject was unexpected.

She nodded, a little surprised. “How did you know?” She inquired. She hadn’t been aware that Brian knew about their dinner at Michael and Ben’s.

“How do you think?” Brian replied dryly. The answer was obvious:  Michael had informed him that he had invited Justin and his mother over for dinner the other night.

Debbie stated, “He hasn’t changed. You’d think it was only yesterday when he'd left.” She was still amazed by Justin’s return.

“Yeah…” Brian agreed. “He seems… okay.” Brian shared hesitantly.

“You’ve seen him?” Debbie asked. They had not mentioned Brian in Justin's presence, and therefore she hadn’t been aware that they had already seen each other.

“A couple of times,” Brian revealed. “He wants us to…well, I don’t really know what he wants. He seems to want to reconnect or something.”

Debbie understood what Brian wasn’t saying. He needed some advice on whether or not he should let Justin back into his life. Truthfully, these two boys had been like fire and ice when they had been younger. Debbie had believed for a time that Brian would settle down eventually, but with all they’d been through - Jesse, Lindsay, Gus - it had never happened.

Yet, she also had always thought that if Brian would have fallen in love and never let go, Justin would have been the one with whom he would have built his life. Was it too late now? Probably. But if there was even a tiny chance that they could make it, they should at least try. What did they have to lose after all?  “He does?”

“Yeah," he affirmed.  "And I was as surprised as you are," Brian retorted, misunderstanding Debbie’s question.

“I’m not doubting you. I mean, I always thought…” Debbie shook her head, trying to put her thoughts in order.

“You always thought what?” Brian pressed, curious.

“It doesn’t matter what I think. What’s important is what you think,” Debbie affirmed.

Brian took a deep breath before confessing, “I’m scared, Debbie.”  

Debbie’s heart went out to him. “It’s normal to feel that way. But you shouldn't allow your fears to dictate your life. If you want to let him back into your life, then do it.”

Brian shook his head.  "It's not that simple," he maintained.  “What if we don’t understand each other anymore? What if we can’t even be friends?” He formulated out loud what was scaring him more than anything. He was afraid of discovering that all his memories of his time with Justin were just that –memories. They might never recover what they had once shared. Truthfully, it was the most plausible scenario. But the worst thing would be for Brian to fall in love with Justin all over again, only to discover that his feelings weren’t mutual.

The sex wasn’t a problem. After their encounter in Brian’s office a week ago, Brian harbored no doubts that it would be as spectacular as it has always been. In fact, if it had been all about sex, it would have been so much easier, but he knew that thinking that sex would be the answer was hopeless as well as nonconstructive. Justin always had been different, and Brian didn’t believe that it would ever change, whatever feelings they might have today.

Debbie answered his question, confirming his inner reasoning. “It’s a possibility. You both have grown up. You might want different things. You might not even feel anything for each other ever again. The question you have to ask yourself is, do you want to give it a shot anyway?”

Do you? The question resonated in his head.

Brian already knew the answer.

Same Time – Michael's Comic Book Store

Justin gazed up at the comics displayed in the storefront window in front of him and headed toward the door. Entering, the sound of the bell resonated above him, causing him to smile as he discovered Michael’s universe. On every corner, everywhere his eyes traveled, he could see some more comic books either piled up or displayed on racks, and, of course, an entire area dedicated to Captain Astro, Michael’s favorite character.

Justin took a few steps further and positioned himself in the middle of the store. He could hear Michael’s voice coming from the back - probably talking on the phone – so he headed towards a nearby shelf and took out a copy of the latest issue of “The Avengers," admiring the cover art and inside graphics for a couple of minutes.

“Justin, hey!” Michael’s cheerful voice made him turn around and he noticed his friend coming from the private area of his shop. Justin greeted him with a smile. Michael apologized, “Sorry for the wait. Hunter was on the phone.” The brunet smiled at him as he moved to stand behind his counter.

“No problem. Everything’s alright?” Justin asked, walking closer to the counter, facing Michael and leaning his hands on the hard surface.

“Yeah. Just my ungrateful son who needed some money, like every teenager who is convinced their parent is a cash cow,” Michael responded jokingly while placing one of his comics into a drawer.

Gazing up at Justin, he added, “I’m happy you're here. I have something to show you.” He took out a file from another drawer and placed it on the counter. Opening it, Justin noticed several pages with a lot of writing and a few basic, badly-executed sketches.

“This is my project. I’ve wanted to create my own comic book for longer than I can remember, and while I have tons of ideas, I just lack one thing…”

Just one look at the first page told Justin everything he needed to know. “You need an illustrator?”

Michael nodded.  “I can’t draw for shit. The only thing I can draw are stick figures,” Michael quipped.

Justin chuckled briefly. “Not even a dick?”

Michael gave him his best fake smile.  "Maybe…but you wouldn't recognize it!"

Justin laughed. “Sex sells, but you’re right. I’m not sure being able to draw someone's cock would be sufficient.”

Michael cleared his throat. “So... I was wondering if you’d be interested in working on it with me.”

Justin frowned. “You mean, drawing illustrations based on your ideas?”

“Mainly. And you could brainstorm with me for a gay comic book…” Michael clarified.

“A gay comic book? You want to aim it at the gay market?” Justin replied, surprised by Michael’s request. Although when he thought about it, it was only natural that Michael would want to write about queers.

“All superheroes wear tights anyway. The gay inference is already there, whether readers realize it or not," Michael declared. 

Justin could hear the passion in Michaels' voice.  “Good point,” Justin conceded. “Do you already have a plot in mind?”

Michael grinned.  "As a matter of fact, I do,” he revealed unsurprisingly, his lips turning upward.

Justin could see how excited his friend really was about this. So, with a nod and a smile, he asked, “Tell me all about it.”

One hour later, Justin had already transformed some of Michael’s ideas onto paper. In between customers, his friend would explain what he was envisioning, and presently while nobody else was there, they were both completely engrossed in what they were doing. Justin had to admit that he was thoroughly enjoying their co-venture so far as they bounced ideas off each other.

A customer entered, interrupting once more what they were working on – currently a drawing of the hero – and Michael went to greet the teenager. Justin paused, looking at the picture in front of him and smiling at the resemblance the drawing held with a certain man they both knew. He was so absorbed on what he and Michael were working on, that when his phone started ringing suddenly Justin took it out of his pocket without bothering to look at the ID.

“Hello?” Justin answered absently as he added a few more lines to the character he was drawing.

“Hey…” His voice resonated in his ear and Justin frowned. It took a few seconds for his brain to fully comprehend that Brian was calling him.

Justin’s hand stilled. “Brian?” He asked like an idiot.

“It’s a good thing you still remember what my voice sounds like,” Brian drawled in amusement.  He asked, “Is this a bad time?”

“What?” Justin was nothing if eloquent. “No. No… No, it’s not.” If Justin repeated the word ‘no’ one more time, he was going to bang his head against the wall.

“So, what are you doing? You seemed focused or something…” Justin could hear Brian’s grin all over the phone.

“I’m with Michael. At the store,” Justin replied. That was better.

“I see…Did he ask you to become his sidekick yet?” Brian inquired, as if he already knew what Michael had planned to ask him. Now that he thought about it, Justin wouldn’t be surprised if Michael had asked for Brian’s permission before seeking him out. Justin was certain that without Brian’s consent, Michael wouldn’t have dared working with him. Hell, he would have probably stayed as far away as possible from him if Brian had wanted him to.

“How did you know?” Justin asked him. He was curious to see if Brian would admit being involved in all this.

“You know Michael. He always needs my advice for some reason I'm still trying to decipher,” Brian answered cryptically. “So, are you going to do it?”

“Maybe. We’ll see," Justin responded. Truthfully, he was tempted to accept. The project appeared to be a lot of fun, and would require spending a lot of time with Michael, which would help make up for all the time he hadn’t been there. “I still need to know what he really wants from me.”

“You mean, is he going to fuck you over once it’s done?” Brian replied dryly.

“Brian!” Justin tried not to laugh at Brian’s stupid comment, but failed.

“What? It’s a legitimate question. Whatever you decide, if you two work together, you need to draw up a contract,” Brian wisely pointed out. Justin had no doubt he had given the same advice to Michael.

“Is that why you’re calling? Or is it to make sure that we're playing nice?” Justin probed, trying to determine the real reason for his call. He really doubted Brian had called him to talk about the comic book project.

“Not exactly,” Brian admitted. Justin could have sworn that Brian sounded hesitant all of a sudden. Whatever he was calling for had to be a big deal, then. “I'm going to visit Gus tomorrow, and I wanted to know if you would like to come with me.”

Justin’s heart skipped a beat. This was not a big deal. This was a gigantic deal. “You want me to come with you to see Gus?”

“Isn’t that what I just said? Or do you need to make an appointment with an ENT?” Brian joked, but Justin thought he heard a hint of nervousness in his voice.

“I…I’d love to see Gus,” Justin finally answered, honestly dumbfounded by Brian’s request, but delighted at the same time.

Brian cleared his throat. “Good. Meet me at the diner at eleven thirty.”

“Okay…” Justin felt his lips turning upward without his consent.

“Later,” Brian whispered.

“Later, Brian.” Justin replied with a smile, before ending the call. He gazed down at the cell in his hand and sighed happily. Peering up after a moment, he noticed that Michael was staring at him. Justin’s smile faltered, and he was just about to say something when Michael announced, “So, I was thinking… The hero, I’d like to name him Rage…”

Justin pressed his lips together and stared at Michael thoughtfully for a few more seconds than necessary before nodding, his lips turning upward once more. “Rage…I like it. In fact, I like it a lot.”

Michael beamed.