Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Author's Chapter Notes:

Sorry for the long delay.  I'm already working on the next chapter and hope to have it finished soon.  Last time we saw Ben and Michael talking about J.R. and being her parents, now we return to Brian and Justin.

Britin

 

The Taylor-Kinney family was sitting at the dinner table after a busy day.  Gus had a soccer game in the morning and a birthday party in the afternoon.  Colin was now old enough for Brian and Justin to bring him to all the family activities, but Colin was more interested in his new found skill of standing and he was eager to explore.  Brian watched as he pulled himself up from his blanket to stand as he held on to the side of Brian's soccer chair. Brian watched his children with pride; Gus as he ran on the field, dribbling the soccer ball expertly and Colin, the child he was raising with his husband, partner and love of his life.  He never thought his life would be like this, but he enjoyed every minute he spent with his family.  When he thought about it, he questioned how he ever thought he was happy when his life consisted of the latest trick and the acquisition of his latest account.  While he still worked hard, he had let Cynthia and Ted take over some of the accounts so he could spend more time with Justin and Colin.  Now that they had Gus full time, his life was even busier with family activities. 

 

While Gus had been living with them full time, it had only been 2 weeks since he announced to Lindsay his intention of making the arrangements permanent.  She had tried to cajole him into changing his mind and tried to convince him that he really didn't want to have Gus full time as he was too busy.  His retort to her was that she was the one who was too busy, going to events and parties most nights and leaving her children to basically fend for themselves.  When he had shown Melanie the custody papers that he had drawn up years ago, she had read them, and promptly tore them up.  He knew she had no recourse and was pretty certain she wouldn't try to take him to court to gain custody of Gus.  Gus had always been a source of contention for her. While she loved the child, or so he thought, he was always a constant reminder of Brian, his biological father and "best friend" of her partner, Lindsay.  Lindsay's insistence of involving Brian in many aspects of Gus' life on the pretense that he needed to forge a bond with his son, had been a ploy to maintain her fantasy that they were a family.  However, as Brian spent more time with his son, he came to realize that he really enjoyed the young man's company and enjoyed being a part of his son's life.  Brian was thankful to Lindsay for her insistence in his involvement in Gus' life. 

 

He felt very secure that he would not hear from any lawyers on Mel or Lind's behalf asking for custody arrangements.  He didn't trust them to try and force him to come live with them and he had spoken to Justin regarding their involvement in Gus' life.  They felt that they would return to Sunday dinners in a few weeks, but not until Gus felt safe in his knowledge that he could continue to live with his fathers. 

 

Colin was happily sitting in his high chair, picking up his cheerios and puffs and sticking them into his mouth.  He would grab for his sippy cup and shake it, sometimes turning it upside down.  Luckily child friendly cups were used avoiding milk on Colin as well as the floor, ceiling and table.   Every now and then, Justin or Brian would look over at him and make sure he had food on his tray.  Justin was in the process of cutting up a ripe pear and putting very small pieces on his tray as well.  Colin picked them up and quickly popped them in his mouth.  He squealed with delight at each piece that made it into his mouth. 

 

Brian looked at his young son, " Sonny Boy, you are a very messy eater.  Guess you will be needing a bath after dinner."

 

Justin laughed at Brian, hearing the unspoken need for order and neatness in his husband's statement.  "Your turn tonight.  Gus and I are going to be in my studio.  We have a project."

 

Brian raised his eyebrows at the secretive statement.  "Oh.  What project?"

 

"We are working on a project for Colin,"  Gus said.

 

"Okay.  Good to know that you and Justin can understand Colin speak."

 

"Dad, its for his birthday.  He'll be one in about 3 weeks and I wanted to do something really cool.  Are we having a party for him?"

 

"A party for a one year old?  He won't even know its his birthday."

 

"Brian, I already told you that Mom and Molly have already started planning it.  I was told in no uncertain terms that a child's first birthday is very important.  It is after all the first time, he or she is allowed to have cake."

 

Brian shook his head in amusement.  "Cake for a one year old.  Next you will be telling me of other must have milestones.  Tell me, Sunshine, are there other absolutes regarding a first birthday?"

 

"Well...  Usually the family invites all the important people in the child's life.  Aunts, Uncles, as well as most of the friends of the parents.  So many people haven't seen the parents since the baby shower as they are so involved with their baby.  It's a chance to reconnect with folks and celebrate the baby's first year."

"And where did you gain all this knowledge?"  Justin started to answer, but Brian put up his hand to stop him from responding.  "Never mind, I don't need a PSA from you on our child's first birthday.  Just tell me who all is coming to this shindig and where do I have to go."

 

"We decided it would be here, at Britin.  Everyone has been invited.   Yes, even the munchers.  We invited Cynthia and her boyfriend, Carol, my agent and of course, Chloe.  There should be about 20 of us.  We thought since it should be a nice day, we would try to have it outside,  leave the mess and chaos out of the home.  But, of course, if it rains, we'll move it to the media room.  We're having Emmett cater it."

 

"Cater a birthday party for a one year old.  You have gone mad," Brian said as he smiles at the idea of Emmett decorating and cooking for Colin.

 

"Silly man.  He's making the cake and we're having picnic items for everybody else. Hamburgers and hotdogs, potato salad, coleslaw.  He's going to make the cake in the shape of a train, since Colin seems enamored of Thomas the train."

 

"Whatever."  Brian looks at Colin and sees he's kicking his feet, a sign that he's done and wants out of his high chair.  "I'm taking our son for his bath. You get clean up duty and Colin made as much of a mess here as he did on his clothing."  Brian unlatches the safety strap and picks up his son, holding him facing his other father and brother Gus, as he hoped to avoid getting food on himself.  They walked upstairs to the shared bathroom and Brian got him ready for his bath. 

 

He plugged the bathtub and started the water.  Taking the messy clothes off his son, he placed them in the hamper.  They had a small seat that Colin sat in when he was in the tub and Brian placed him in it.  Brian carefully felt the water, ensuring that it did not get too hot.  When there were a few inches of water in the tub, Brian turned off the water and let Colin play with a few toys.  Colin had a rubber duck that he was fond of and he grabbed it, moving it to his mouth to suck on it. 

 

Justin and Gus cleaned up the mess that Colin made at his place near the end of the table.  They put the food away and Justin grabbed them some cold waters as they headed to the studio.

 

"So I was thinking, Daddy Justin that I want to make something really special for Colin, but I don't know what to make."

 

"Well, do you have any ideas?"  Justin asked as he cleared one of his tables so the two of them could work.

 

"I was thinking we could put a growth chart together.  Paint it on the wall and then mark it as he grows."

 

"That would be cool.  I could help you paint it.  Can I?"

 

"Sure.  What do you think it should be?  Remember it needs to be tall."

 

"What about a giraffe. They are really tall.  Or maybe an elephant?  Or maybe you could make a whole zoo and just one animal would be the chart."  Gus was silent for a few minutes.  "His room is a space room, we could make a big standing rocket.  I like that."

 

"I think a rocket would be perfect.  I'll start to draw it on paper and we'll see where it goes."

 

"That's great."  Gus pulled up a chair and sat by the table, watching Justin as he sketched the rocket. 

 

"Daddy Justin, can I ask you something?"

 

"Sure, Gus,"  Justin put down his sketch pad and turned toward Gus. 

 

"Well.... Today...  I mean..."  Gus stammered. 

 

Justin waited while Gus gathered his thoughts.  After a few moments, Justin said, "It's okay, buddy. Whatever you want to talk about, I'm here to listen."

 

"Promise you won't get upset or mad?" Gus said, looking down at his lap as if his favorite toy was sitting there.

 

"Gus, I love you and so does your father.  You are our son and we will always be here for you."

 

"Remember when I was talking about the assembly we had yesterday at school?"

 

"Sure.  You said it was about bullying?  Is there something that is bothering you?"

 

"Well, today at the ball game there were some kids that were teasing another player and I wanted to tell them to stop but I didn't.  I was afraid they might not be my friend if I said anything."

 

Justin nodded his head in understanding, but allowed Gus to continue his discussion.

 

"But I knew it was wrong and now I feel really bad." Gus looked away from Justin, his head bowed toward his lap.

 

"So you don't like feeling bad?"

 

"Yeah, but I also want to help the other player."

 

"Help the other player?"  Justin didn't want to lead the discussion, but rather allow Gus to come to his own conclusions, so he just waited for him to talk.

 

"Well, see I think the other players teased him because he's new in the area and he talks funny.  He's a little hard to understand, but I just listened and understood him just fine.  I think the other guys didn't like how coach kept checking on him all during the game."

 

"Coach checked on him?"

 

"Yeah.  He wanted to make sure he was understanding what our plays were and stuff.  Alex seemed to catch on really fast, but the other kids didn't like the attention coach gave him."

 

"What do you think you should have done instead?"

 

"I could have gone over and talked to Alex, maybe brought him a water from the big cooler.  You know, tried to be his friend."

"Are you okay with this plan?"

 

"Yeah.  I don't think anyone wants to feel left out.  It would be really easy to bring him some water."

 

"I think that is a good plan."

 

"But....."

 

Justin could see Gus was still struggling with some issues, but again he let him talk rather than probing his thoughts. 

 

"You and Daddy talked about bullying on the way home.  Were you bullied in school?"

 

"Yes, I was Gus,"  Justin felt his dinner churn in his stomach.  He knew that one day this conversation would come up but he always hoped in the back of his mind that it never would.

 

"Daddy Justin, why were you bullied? You are the nicest person.  I can't imagine anyone not liking you." Gus said.  He looked at Justin, seeing the far away look in his eyes and the discomfort on his face.  He recognized when his Daddy Justin was upset and this question obviously upset him.  "Daddy Justin.  I'm sorry I upset you, I'll go play in the media room."

 

"No Gus, its okay.  I...  Well...  It is hard to talk about, but your father and I have always answered your questions and I'm not going to have you go away just because it is a difficult question."  Justin reached out and gave Gus a big hug and then sat back in his chair.  He ran his hand across the top of his head and took a deep breath. 

 

"I was bullied because I was gay."

 

"Because you were gay.  Why would anyone care if you are gay?  I don't understand Daddy."

 

"I went to a very small private school and in the circles that my family lived in, being gay was a bad thing, an abnormal behavior. I was brought up to date women and marry one and have children.  The plan was that I would work in the family business and my wife would stay home and have babies and run the house."

 

"That is silly, Daddy.  You don't like girls, except Aunt Daphne and Ms Cynthia.  I guess Grandma Jen and Aunt Molly and Grandma Debbie should be included.  Why would you get married to one?  You love Daddy and you've known him a long time.  Did you ever go out with a girl, Daddy Justin?"

 

"No, I never went out with a girl,"  Justin answered truthfully, but he did think about the time he slept with Daphne.  That was not something Gus really needed to know about and this discussion was not about that topic. 

 

"I like women, Gus, I just don't want to marry one."

 

"But Grandma Jen likes Daddy.  And Aunt Molly loves to come over and spend time here."

 

"True.  But you know that Tucker isn't my father?  My father doesn't like that I married Brian.  He doesn't talk to me anymore."

 

"I guess I never thought about it, but I know that Tucker is not your dad.  That would make me sad if Daddy or you never talked to me because I liked someone they didn't like.  Does it make you sad, Daddy?"

 

"It used to make me sad, but I decided a long time ago that it is his loss if he doesn't want to be in my life.  I have a wonderful family and you are a big part of it."

 

Gus sat for a few minutes digesting all the information that Justin had told him, but then realized that he still wanted more information about Justin and bullying.

 

"Daddy, did your father bully you?"

 

"Well, that is a hard question, Gus.  But I guess he did.  He told me that if I wanted to be with Brian that I wasn't welcome in his house and I went to live with Grandma Debbie."

 

"Wow.  That is really not nice.  I'm glad that you don't talk to him.  But Daddy, you said you were bullied at school.  What happened there? They couldn't kick you out of school, could they?"

 

Justin sat for a few minutes, gathering his thoughts.  Gus was 10, almost 11 and while they did not lie to him, he wasn't sure if he was ready to talk about the bashing with him. He wished that Brian would come down stairs from putting Colin to sleep as he could really use his support for this conversation. 

 

"Not exactly.  Aunt Daphne and I wanted to start a club, you know like the art club you go to after school, but this one was for guys who liked guys and girls who liked girls."

 

"You mean gays and lesbians?  We learned all about that in health class.  I told the class that I had two moms and two dads and everyone thought that was cool."

 

"Well, we wanted to start this club so that gays and lesbians would have other people to talk to and have friends to hang out with.  When I was in high school, being gay or lesbian was not something you really talked about."

 

"We learned in health class that being gay or lesbian isn't any different than liking guys or girls.  Our teacher said it is something you are born with, like hair color or eye color.  Why did your school make such a big deal?"

 

"Like I said Gus, the friends that my parents had thought it was wrong to like people of the same sex.  So the kids in my school learned from their parents that gay and lesbian kids were different and they bullied us."

 

"What did they do? The team called Alex some names, but do they do that in high school?"

 

"They called me names.  They wrote on my locker.  They even put a fire in my locker and destroyed some of my artwork."

 

Gus got up from his chair and went to Justin, giving him a big hug.  "Daddy, I'm sorry you were bullied.  I'll never do that again."

 

Justin squeezed him back and gave him a kiss on his temple. 

 

Gus went back to his seat and thought for a few minutes.  "Daddy, thank you for talking to me.  I guess I need to stand up for Alex or any other kid.  I don't want them to be bullied."

 

"That's good, Gus.  Why don't you go take your bath and get ready for bed?  We can work on the sketches later."

 

Gus left the room and Justin let out a sigh of relief.  He really didn't want to talk about the ultimate bullying, the bashing, but knew someday he would have to.  He wrapped his arms around his torso and gave himself a hug. That is how Brian found him a few minutes later.

 

Brian came up to him from behind and wrapped his arms around Justin, laying a soft kiss on his hair.  Justin raised his head and gave Brian a weak smile.

 

"Justin?" Brian asked, using his name with an obvious question at the end.

 

"Gus and I were talking about bullying and he asked me to tell him about when I was bullied."

 

"Fuck.  Did you tell him about the bashing?"

 

"No.  I just explained to him about how the country club set doesn't like being different and how my father kicked me out. I told him about the name calling and the burning of my locker."

 

"I'm sorry I wasn't here.  One day he will want to know about the bashing.  And when that day comes promise me you will only talk about it if I'm involved in the conversation. We were both there and it had grave consequences for both of us."

 

"Okay.  But for now, can we not talk about bullying and locker fires and bashings?  I've had enough drama for one day and would like to end the day on a happy note."

"I think I can accomplish that goal.  Let's put Gus to bed and then we shall go to bed ourselves.  I think someone needs some special loving tonight."

 

"Deal"

 

Gus came down a short time later and the three of them played a few games on the XBox and then Gus went to bed.  Justin and Brian retired to the bedroom where Brian made Justin forget about the bashing so long ago.

 

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes:

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