It was one of these rare mornings when we woke up alone and enjoyed the quiet before chaos exploded around us.

"Did you talk to Leo? They're still okay with coming earlier?" Justin chewed on his lips.

"Nothing has changed from last night when we talked to them."

"And Michael is bringing the cake?"

"Sunshine, calm down. Everything is going to be okay." I stroked his hair, bringing him closer to my side.

"I can't. Don't tell me to calm down when in a few short hours we're hosting a huge ass party that we planned so hastily. Fuck. I hope we didn't forget anything." He snuggled closer into my side, draping a leg over mine. "The decorations, the cake, the presents, the guests, the… Shit! Did you clean the pool? Is the heating working?" His head snapped up, staring at me agitated.

I pushed him on his back, claiming his mouth in a deep, heated kiss. "Relax for five seconds, will you?"

"I want Patrick's thirteenth birthday to be awesome!"

"Like all his other birthdays. It will be." I rolled my eyes, kissing down his throat. "Now how about we take advantage of the early hour and have some fun?"

"GET OFF ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

We both shot up at Patrick's shouts.

"I guess someone else is awake too," Justin joked.

"Fuck. I was hoping for…"

The door of our room opened to reveal a teary eyed Ruby. She dived between us, sobbing into my shoulder.

"What happened, Peanut? Why is your brother yelling?" I patted her back.

"I thought to surprise him…so I kind of jumped on top of him singing 'Happy birthday' but he pushed me off and yelled at me."

"We talked about jumping on top of unsuspecting sleeping people," Justin explained softly, pulling her from me. "Why don't you go check on birthday boy?"

"Promise me you'll relax."

"I will. Now go."

With one kiss for each of them, I went to Munchkin. I had no idea what could have distressed him so badly.

I opened the door to find him burrowed under the blankets.

"Go away, bug!"

I snorted. "I'm not the bug."

He poked his head out, before hiding again. "Go away, Dad."

"What's wrong, kiddo?" I closed the door, taking a seat next to him. "We have to get ready. In a few hours your friends will be here."

"I can't! I have this thing…it won't go away. It used to go away before."

"What are you talking about? Come out from under the blanket."

He poked his head out again. His eyes widened when he looked down at my lap.

Shit.

I crossed my legs, thinking of the munchers going at it. I shot Munchkin a smile. He was a boy, he'd know all about woodies.

Then a bright smile appeared on his face. "Is this normal?"

"Uh, what?" Fuck, go away. I glowered at my half hard dick.

But it had been a long time since I'd have some alone time with Justin. My dick was probably too eager to get some action and couldn't believe I wasn't going to introduce it with Justin's tight ass again.

"That. It's okay, right?"

"What brought this on?"

Munchkin lifted the blanket a little. "This," he hissed.

I stared under his blanket, biting on the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. We knew this moment was coming.

"Are you seriously laughing at me?" He huffed, burrowing back under the blanket.

"That's completely normal, Sonny Boy." I dived under the blanket, stroking his hair.

"It is? How does it go away? It used to…get back to normal before."

Where are his primal instincts? "Do you seriously want me to tell you what to do?" I looked at him incredulously.

"You're supposed to give me helpful information, not mock me, Dad."

For fuck's sake! "You know what's going on, right?" I whispered.

"No…"

"Christ." I pushed the blanket off us. It was getting hard to breathe under that thing. "Well, Patrick…that's an erection. Of course you had these before. I'd be worried if you didn't."

"But this one won't go away."

"I guess you have to take matters in your hands, so to speak."

"Like touch it?"

I sighed loudly. This was an odd conversation to have with my son. I guessed I had to walk him through it. "And rub it," I supplied.

When he eyed me dubiously, I got out of the bed. "Wait a second. I'll bring something."

He nodded, tugging the blanket back over his head when I left his room.

Justin was still in our bed with Ruby, combing her hair. "Crisis averted?" He grinned at me.

"Not even close." I grabbed the lube from the nightstand's drawer.

"What the… Brian! What are you doing?" He demanded.

I placed the lube bottle on the bed and covered Peanut's ears, leaning closer to Justin. "He has a stiffy. What other way do you want me to deal with it? I'll teach him to spank the monkey."

"What do you mean teach him?"

"He has no clue what to do." I laughed. "Poor kid. He's embarrassed as hell."

"Aww! Need a hand? No pun intended."

"Nah. You stay with Peanut. I'll deal with him. She's all yours when her girly problems appear."

Justin looked freaked. He snatched the lube bottle, whacking me in the bicep with it. "You complete ass!"

I extracted the lube from his hand. "Later."

I returned to Munchkin's room, closing the door behind me. "Okay, here's what we're going to do." Too late I noticed he wasn't in his bed anymore. "Munchkin?"

"Bathroom!"

I beamed. That's my boy. "You okay in there?"

"I'm not sure."

I chuckled, leaning against the wall next to the bathroom door. "I have something that might help."

He opened the door, shuffling out. I had to hand it to him. For his age, he hand an impressive woody in his sleep pants. But he was our son, of course he was doing well down there.

I thrust him the lube bottle. "Here. Squirt some on your hand then rub your dick. You don't want a rash from rubbing the flesh raw."

"What's this?" He took the bottle, inspecting it.

"It's lube. Now go in there and put it to good use. Then take a shower. Soap helps too."

He stared at me blankly.

"Today, Patrick." I steered him into the bathroom. "You have your friends coming soon, so you better get to your own coming."

He flushed, stumbling over his feet. "Why do you have this?" He looked between the lube and me.

"Seriously? Do you want me to spell it out for you?"

"Well, I might need it…okay…sure. But you have Dada…why…"

"How about we leave The Talk to another day? Go in there and do something about your stiffy before you poke someone in the eye. I'll tell Justin to make you waffles if you are downstairs in ten."

He gulped thickly. "Won't you…stay?"

"What?"

"Stay. Please."

I knuckled my forehead. "Patrick, some things you have to do on your own. I can't hold your hand through this. Trust me. Once you try it, you won't want me around. Go." I wheeled him until he was in the bathroom. "Either do it in the shower or above the bowl. It's gonna be messy so be careful, okay?"

I was halfway out of the door when he called my name. I turned to see what he wanted now.

"How much lube?"

"A squirt or two. It all depends. You'll know if it feels good. Have fun!" I winked, leaving him to his first wanking session.

Downstairs I found Justin and Peanut working on waffle batter.

"How did you know that's what I wanted to ask you to make?" I wrapped my arms around Justin, kissing his neck.

"They're Patrick's favorite. It's his birthday." He twisted his neck a little to kiss me back. "How's he?"

I pressed my lips together. "Tickling the pickle."

Justin snorted. "Do you think this is the first…"

"YES!" I pulled away. "I do. Seriously. He asked so many questions."

"Well, we need to help him. I'm sure he's full of questions now. I think you beat the eggs enough, sweetie." He extracted the bowl from Peanut. "I didn't really do it either…for a long time," he admitted.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Where's you instinct? How could you live?"

"I survived pretty well…until I met you. That night…after our first time, I plucked enough courage to go through with it. I've played around before, obviously…" His eyes shot to Peanut, then back to mine. "But never as much as after I met you. It was like chronic, you know…" He made a gesture with his hand through the air, as if rubbing a dick.

"Christ. No wonder you were so wrung when we met."

"Yeah well. I had to after our time together. Every time I thought of you, I had one," he said vaguely, but clear enough for me.

I smirked, kissing his cheek.

"Daaaad!" Patrick called loudly.

"Well, that's weird. Why is he calling your name?" Justin frowned.

"He probably needs help. Ugh. Tell me why our kid wasn't born a genius in this department. We must have done something wrong. Coming, Munchkin!" I shouted. "Now, that sounded weird," I muttered to Justin who dissolved into a round of giggles.

I stopped outside Munchkin's bathroom door. "What's up, kiddo?"

"I feel weird."

That makes two of us. "Weird how?"

"I'm kind of warm…and there's this pain but not really pain in my tummy and…I think… Dad! Are you laughing at me again?"

"I'm so sorry," I choked out. I had been sure he'd have come at least five time by now. "Look, keep doing what you're doing. That's not pain. You're going to be all right. You're going to feel great. Wonderful. Trust me."

"Okay." He sounded uncertain.

Leaving him to his business, I joined Justin and Ruby back in the kitchen. The waffles were done by the time Patrick appeared in the doorway, a shit eating grin on his face.

"Good morning!"

I exchanged an amused look with Justin, while Peanut stared at him as if he'd grown another head. Especially when he kissed her cheek, before throwing himself in the chair next to her.

Justin went to his side, hugging him tightly. "Happy birthday, kid!"

"I'm not a kid anymore."

"So I heard." Justin chuckled. "Feeling good?"

"Yup. These waffles are for me?"

"They're for everyone, so try not to eat all of them. We'd like at least one each."

"You can have my part," I declared, patting his shoulder. "I'm good with my coffee."

Justin shot me an upset look. "You need to eat, Brian!"

"Have you seen the fat on my stomach? It's gross."

Rolling his eyes, he lifted my shirt. "What fat? Do you see any fat?" He addressed to the kids.

"Same as always." Munchkin shrugged, piling waffles on his plate.

"See? I can still see the six pack."

"Exactly. Still….soon, it will be gone." I looked mournfully at my stomach.

"What's a six pack?" Peanut inquired, frowning at my stomach.

Justin decided to exemplify. "These defined muscles here on your dad's stomach." He traced the packs with his finger. "Hot," he mouthed to me, grinning.

"Why six pack? Why not muscles on stomach?" She continued with the questions.

To our surprise, Munchkin didn't snap at her for being too pushy. I guessed he was relaxed. They didn't call an orgasm a stress-reliever for nothing.

Though, I haven't had one in too long and I was the one angsty. "Because there are six muscles worked carefully. If you saw four, there would have been a four pack. Some lucky ones get to have an eight pack."

"Do you have them too, Dada?" She turned to Justin with curious brown eyes.

"Nope, but he's got a lot of puffy skin." I grabbed his side, making him giggle.

"Will I get a six pack too?" Patrick asked between mouthfuls of waffles coated in chocolate syrup.

"At the rate you're eating, you won't get anything except tons of fat," I joked.

He gave me a horrified look, then pushed the plate away.

"I'm joking" I promised. "You're growing up. Eat up. You still have a few more years before you have to worry about how you look."

"Exactly. He'll have a good reason to worry about his figure—to get someone's attention. You don't need that anymore, my darling husband!"

"So you want me to look like a troll? You know I have a tendency to gain…a lot." I pointed to Munchkin. "Remember how I looked when I had him?"

"You looked hot."

"Were you dropped on the head as a baby?" I glared.

"I don't know about that, but I've been… nevermind." Justin gave the kids a tight smile. "Tell your dad he still looks hot and we don't care if he has a few extra pounds."

The doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of our neighbors. Ruby rushed to open before any of us could move.

"Tell Daddy he looks hot! We need to raise his self-esteem."

I doubled over in laughter. I had no idea where she'd heard the last word, but it was hilarious. It reminded me of the time Emmett made us tell Theodore he looked fabulous after his plastic surgery.

"Why did you have to give birth to that brat? Seriously, Dad."

"Did you run out of lube? Want more? I think you need more stress-reliever sessions."

"Brian!" Justin gasped, slapping my arm.

"What? It's a fact. I'll know since I'm more wound up than a spring."

"I'm trying to eat!" Patrick protested loudly.

Leo fluttered into the kitchen all smiles. "You look fabulous, Brian! I think you've lost a few pounds since I last saw you."

I rolled my eyes. "I'd be worried if I lost weight so fast. We saw each other last night, Leo."

He pursed his lips.

"Don't worry. My self-esteem is all right."

"As high as always, no worries," Justin added, going to hug our friend. "Where are the others?"

"They'll be here a little later. The twins had a chocolate syrup war and covered Kira in it from head to toe. If Keith doesn't kill them, then Kira will."

"Can I please go take tips on how she does it? I have a bug to squish too."

"Patrick, for the last time. Your sister is not a bug." I picked up Ruby who poked her tongue out at her brother. "You're not a bug, right?"

"I'm a ladybug." She giggled, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Precious." I kissed her cheeks, hugging her tightly.

"I'll be upstairs…barfing." Patrick shuffled out of the room.

I turned to Justin, smirking. "I bet you fifty he's beating the meat."

"Brian, can you use that filter? At least when you're around Ruby?"

"Oh, so Patrick discovered his new best friend?" Leo giggled.

"Just this morning. I introduced him to the art of playing with the one-eyed snake. If he misses his birthday party, he has a good reason." I laughed.

"Why don't you go do something productive and get Peanut dressed?" Justin pushed me out of the kitchen. "Let's start with the backyard," he told Leo.

Patrick's birthday party turned out to be the best he's ever had, his words, not mine. I was sure nothing could top his first orgasm. Besides the painting kit we'd gotten him, because he was taking after Justin, I added one of our spare bottles of lube and a double box of tissues to his present. He was going to need it.

When Patrick opened the present from us, he turned all possible shades of red, fixating me with a dirty look. Of course, everyone cheered, as if something big had happened. It only fueled his embarrassment. Wasn't it our role as his parents to embarrass him? We'd done it royally.

Sadly, Justin sided with him, comforting him, saying he wasn't part of that disgusting part of the present. I'd make sure to remind him of that disgusting part when we fucked next time.

I was also holding him onto his promise to tell Peanut all about her problems when the time came.

oOo

The little shit escaped the tormenting talk.

Justin was gone to an exhibition on the other side of the country when the dreaded moment happened.

Thirteen was the age our kids became real teenagers.

I hadn't anticipated what happened because frankly how could I? All the signs were there of course, but her first period was the last thing on my mind when Ruby kept complaining about her tummy hurting, about being all angsty, and having headaches. I thought it was teenage blues.

I was at work when I got a call from Patrick. He rarely called me during school hours, unless he was in some kind of trouble.

"What's up, kiddo?"

"Uh, Dad, you have to come get Ruby. She's not feeling okay."

"Shit. Her tummy still hurting?" I got up from my chair, gathering my jacket.

"Yeah. I don't know what's up, but she's with the school nurse."

"I'll be right there. Stay with her, you hear me?"

"I can't, Dad. I have Calculus. We're going over the stuff for the last test."

"Oh, okay. Then tell Peanut I'll be there soon." I hung up, rushing out of my office and stopping in the doorway of Cynthia's office. "I know I have Marcus scheduled for two o'clock. Either tell Theodore to do it, or reschedule him. I have to go to school."

Cynthia eyed me worried. "Everything okay?"

"Not really. Peanut's not okay. She kept complaining her tummy hurt and I guess I shouldn't have sent her to school today."

"You know what's happening, right?" Cynthia's words stopped me from leaving.

"You know what's wrong with her?" I was surprised she knew without even talking to Ruby.

"Brian, seriously. She's a big girl now." When I stared at her expectantly, she rolled her eyes. "What happens to girls her age?"

"Oh, fuck! Fuck no. Fuck." I could feel the blood draining from my head. "I can't talk to her about that." I felt like barfing. "It's Justin's turn."

"Well, he's not here. Look, I can help if you want."

"Will you?" I begged. "I'm not ready to ask the munchers for help."

"I'll do it, Bri. Now go get her."

I arrived at school in no time, and went straight to the medical ward. Peanut was on the bed, curled up, facing the wall.

Fuck. I wasn't mentally prepared for this.

"Mr. Kinney!" The nurse greeted me, sighing in relief. "I want to talk to you about this."

"I know." I cringed.

"You do?" She looked taken aback.

"I figured out it was this. It started…her…you know…bleeding thing?"

She smiled indulgently, nodding. "Poor girl wasn't prepared for this."

"Shit. We didn't think to talk to her before. Uh, I'm sure you understand we're not exactly cut out for this," I joked.

"Of course. That's why I gave her some brochures and explained in a few words it was okay to bleed. I have to warn you, though, it's going to hurt her a lot. Besides the ibuprofen, you should consider birth pills. They have more effects on the female body than preventing her from getting pregnant. They help with menstruation."

I wanted to raise a white flag and abandon ship. This was a conversation I never wanted to have with anyone, especially my daughter.

"You'll also need to find her an OB-GYN. They'll help her through this. Or if you have close female friends…" She wavered when she saw me paling.

"Sure. Thanks for the advice." I approached the bed, sitting next to my baby girl. "Hey, Peanut. I'm here."

"I heard." She rolled around hugging me. "I'm dying, Daddy."

"No, you're not. You'll be fine. Can you sit up? Come on." She stood up, her arm wrapped around my middle. "You have your bag?" She pointed to a chair. I grabbed it, slinging it over my shoulder. "Let's go."

The nurse wished her to feel better, but Peanut grunted, burrowing closer to me.

In the car, she coiled up in the passenger seat, whimpering.

Fuck this shit. I couldn't stand seeing her in pain.

I stroked her head. "Did you take any pill?"

"Yes. The nurse gave me something. It's crap."

"We'll stop by the pharmacy. We need to buy you…stuff."

She snorted. "Daddy, I can get my own…stuff."

"No. We're going together. It's weird for both of us. So what the hell?" I kissed her temple.

We drove to the first pharmacy I saw. Inside the drug store, we wandered around until we found what we needed.

I'd never paid attention before when I bought condoms from a pharmacy, but they were placed next to the girly stuff. It reminded me we were out of them.

While Ruby inspected her tampons, I debated with myself whether or not to buy a box of condoms.

"I don't know what to get." She fixated me with her wide brown eyes.

And why are you looking at me? "Hold on." I tracked one of the salesladies, bringing her to help.

The woman was so nice, advising Peanut on what worked for her and on what kinds were out there. I tried paying attention, but even though I had to get used to this, it kind of grossed me out.

"I'm going to get other things we need and be right back," I told Peanut, remembering Justin was almost out of one of his allergy drugs. After I made sure I had a copy of his receipt, I took a few boxes of his pills, some Band-Aids, aspirin, and last but not least, I threw caution in the wind and grabbed three boxes of condoms and since I was on a roll, I got a couple bottles of lube.

Peanut was at the cash register, waiting for me, smiling. She had a large bag with her things and also some pain reliever pills.

"These too." I pushed my purchases over the counter. "And here's the receipt for the Zyrtec."

The saleslady shot me a confused yet amused look when she got to the condoms, but I ignored her. It was none of her business. Besides, it was better if we got Patrick a box to know he was being safe, instead of wondering and worrying.

When we got home, I sent Ruby to her room to take a nap and let the pill take effect.

While I heated some leftovers from Debbie's, I called Justin. He answered promptly.

"Can you talk?" I asked, watching the plate spinning inside the microwave oven.

"Yeah. I'm packing up as we speak. I'll head to my hotel for a shower then off to do some shopping."

"When is your plane?"

"You know I changed it to a morning flight so I won't be too tired. Why? Is there something wrong?"

"Define wrong," I muttered. "It's just…Peanut…"

Justin's breath hitched. "What happened? I'm taking the first flight home."

"You managed to escape the talk, but don't worry. I have Cynthia coming over later to do the girly talk."

"The talk? Brian, she's only thirteen!"

"I mean….the other talk. Don't make me say it. Ruby's a big girl now," I said quietly.

"Oh!" There was silence from his side for a while. "Fuck, Brian. Did you go shopping with her? Urgh. I dreaded this moment."

"Me too. From them moment I knew we were having a girl. Aside from being in pain, she's taking it like a trooper."

"Can I talk to her? Please."

"Let me check if she's awake. I told her to take a nap, but you know how she is."

After knocking once, I poked my head in Ruby's room. She was huddled under the blankets with her laptop on top of them. She glanced at me, smiling a little.

"Hey, sweetie. Feeling better?"

She nodded, keeping her eyes on the screen.

"Dada wants to talk to you. Here." I passed her the phone. "When you're done, I want it back. I have a few phone calls to make."

"Then hang up. I'll call Dada from my phone."

I pressed the cell to my ear. "Hear that? Hanging up so Peanut can call you."

"Okay. Talk to you later. Love you."

"Me too. Later." After hanging up, I sat next to Ruby and stroked her head.

"Dad, I'm fine. Really. I'm not dying."

"Not that long ago you proclaimed you were dying. I'm worried, Peanut. I have no idea how to help you, so I asked Cynthia to come over to talk to you."

She blushed, narrowing her eyes at me. "Daddy! That's so embarrassing!"

"Who would you rather talk with? I'm afraid Linz and Mel are going to scare you. Debbie? Maybe Daphne. Would you like Daphne better?"

She considered my words. "I'd take Daphne over Cynthia. Sorry, Daddy, but it's weird."

"I bet it is. I'll let her know."

Ruby grabbed my wrist as I made to get up. "Cynthia won't be upset, right?"

"Of course not. I'm going to call Daphne and see when she can come over to talk to you. Also, you can always talk to Kira."

"Kira kinda warned me about this when I complained about feeling funny. I didn't want to say anything because you know how embarrassing this is."

"Peanut, you shouldn't be embarrassed because of this. It's natural. It happens to every girl." I hugged her tightly. "You have to tell us whatever happens. I thought we were that close, Peanut."

"Okay, I promise to talk about anything that bothers me."

"Good. Now call Dada." I kissed her brow, before leaving her room.

I brought her a plate of food, then took the other to my home office. After a phone call to Cynthia, explaining Ruby was more comfortable around Daphne, I called the person in question. She promptly agreed to visit us by dinner time.

I distracted myself with talking with my latest client, all evening, so when I looked up from my computer and saw Patrick in the doorway, I jumped like burned.

"Your face!" He bent over, laughing hysterically.

"Hilarious," I said sarcastically.

"How's Rubs?"

"She's in her room, feeling better."

"So her tummy ache is over?"

I scrubbed over my face. "Come here, Patrick. Sit."

"Is there something wrong with Rubs?" He paled, scurrying to sit across from me.

"I bet you have girl friends in school. You know things happen to them…once every month…" Fuck, this was utterly uncomfortable to discuss with my son.

"Ewww!"

"I'm telling you because you have to know. So be careful with her, okay?"

"When am I not?" He held a finger up as soon as the words were out his mouth. "Don't say a thing."

I laughed. "Speaking of growing up." I pulled from the drawer the box of condoms and the bottle of lube, handing them to him. His face was a mask of horror. "I don't know how many parents are so understanding, Munchkin. I want you safe no matter you do, okay?"

"Dad," he groaned. "I don't need these."

"Why? Did you buy some yourself?"

"Because I don't."

"You don't, what?" I frowned. "You are careful, right?"

Patrick hung his head, sighing heavily.

"Patrick, maybe it's time we have a talk. Justin said we shouldn't do this yet, but I guess we need to talk about being safe."

"Dad, stop! I don't need that stupid talk. I know the mechanics."

"Oh." Should I be surprised he'd already done it? He was older than Justin was on his first time, so obviously he'd done it.

"Not that I've actually done it," he blurted out. "I mean, I haven't met the right person yet."

"You haven't?" I gaped at him. "I thought you just said…"

"Dad, this is embarrassing as shit. But believe me. I haven't."

"What about that Lizzie?"

"Lizzie?" He scoffed, fighting a gagging sound. He caught my eye, turning red. "I thought you knew. I'm…well…you know…like you."

I lifted a brow. I should have known. All the signs were there glaringly loud and in your face. "You mean gay?"

"Yes."

"Then say it. Or, are you embarrassed by that?"

"I'm not. Embarrassed, I mean. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I was…"

"I get it. You know you have our support, and any questions you have, Justin and I are here for you."

Patrick grinned. "Great. Nice."

"Now come here." I rolled away from my desk, opening my arms. No matter how old he got, he never denied a good old cuddle, and I loved to deliver them. "Love you, Munchkin." I kissed his head, hugging him tightly.

"Love you lots too, Dad."

Once he pulled away, Munchkin took the supplies I got him, shuffling out of my study. I had no idea if he'd skirted around the subject by saying he hadn't done it before, but I knew that one day soon, Justin and I would sit him down and have a talk to him. We should have known he'd bait for our team from the moment he took to Emmett and all his fancy girly shit.

A short while later I had both the kids in the kitchen looking through takeout menus. I had to promise them hefty quantities of sweets not to rattle me to Justin. I was shit at cooking and everyone should know that by now.

As I picked the phone to call my favorite Thai place, the doorbell rang.

I went to answer and was relieved to find Daphne on the other side. Though, she looked dead tired.

"Hey, Brian." She brushed inside past me, carrying a plastic bag.

"No kiss?" I pouted, stalling her by grabbing her wrist and pulling her close. "I see you're tired, and I appreciate your help."

"You caught me after a thirty-six hour shift."

"Fuck. Why didn't you say so?"

"Nah. I'm so exhausted I can't even sleep. Where's the patient?" She giggled. "Oh, you have food here. I stopped by my favorite Italian restaurant. I guess it's better than take-out." Daphne pointed to the take-out menu in my hand.

"Don't go telling Justin," I warned her.

"My lips are sealed."

We walked into the kitchen, and to no one's surprise, Ruby rushed to Daphne, hugging her tightly. As reticent as Daphne was in the very beginning, saying kids and her didn't mix, it turned out she was an awesome godmother to Ruby. The other godmother being Emmett, of course.

"Hey, Ruby. Missed you." Daphne hugged her tightly, grinning over my girl's head at Patrick.

He waved back, returning her smile. "Are we ordering today, Dad? I'm starving."

"Daph brought us Italian."

"I don't like Italian," he whined.

"Well, it sucks. That is what we're eating. Say thank you and get over yourself."

"Just for that comment, I'm telling Dada you wanted to feed us take-out food, and instead of making something for us, you accepted hand-outs from his best friend."

"If we're pro blackmailing, then I'll tell Justin the late hour you got home yesterday! You know how he feels about you being out so late, and especially coming home with a cab!" I narrowed my eyes at him.

I should have known Munchkin was going to be a difficult teenager considering he was the perfect combination between Justin and me, but sometimes he was exceeding all expectations, in bad ways too.

He gaped at me, huffing loudly. "I dare you!"

Daphne put a hand on my arm when I advanced to him, ready to strangle my first own born as he loved to call himself.

"If you don't like the food, I can always make you something," she offered. "But mind you, only if it's something quick."

"You're the best, Daph! See, Dad? This is how you should act. I want French fries with fried eggs and fried bacon."

"How about you eat the Italian food Daphne brought us? It's much healthier than all that fried crap."

"So what? I want that fried crap."

"Don't come crying to me when you weight a ton and can't fit through the door!"

"I've seen pictures of you when you were pregnant with me!"

"Guys!" Daphne shouted, stepping in between us. "Seriously, Brian. You're the grown up here. Give it a rest. If the kid wants that unhealthy dinner, I'll make it for him. I might even join him. I've been craving fries for days now."

"What about you? Do you want that crap too?" I turned to Peanut, too upset to even lower my voice.

She shrugged. "I don't mind the Italian."

"Then help me plate the food." I threw the deserters nasty looks, as I piled food on two plates.

Peanut and I took our dinner to the TV, and not long later Daphne and Patrick joined us. Patrick slumped in the furthest seat available, shoveling food in his mouth. Daphne balled up her napkin and threw it at his head, before her eyes cut between me and him.

Sighing heavily, Patrick finally looked at me. "Sorry."

"What did you put in that food," I demanded, turning to Daphne. He was as stubborn as me about apologizing.

Daphne groaned. "Just say he's forgiven and don't stoop to his level again."

"All forgiven, Munchkin." I winked at him.

He scowled, focusing on the movie playing.

After we finished dinner, Daphne and Ruby disappeared in Ruby's room, and I coaxed Patrick into helping me wash the dishes. Miracles do happen.

"About earlier," he started after a while.

"Forget it. We always argue about my ways of feeding you when Justin's away."

"But it's silly and funny. You always fall for it."

"Patrick," I gasped, whacking him on the back with the dishtowel.

"It's so funny how we have the same argument every time you bribe me to eat or do something or another when Dada isn't home, and how I promise to tell on you, and knowing you're guilty, you try to guilt-trip me. Haven't you learned it's not working and it never will?"

"I guess I don't know better." I shrugged, drying the plate he handed me. "Shoot me."

"I didn't fall for your bullying when I was five, nor I will now at eighteen, Dad."

"I wasn't bullying you," I muttered.

"Worse. You offered me sweets and McDonald's food to keep my mouth shut about you forgetting to feed us."

"I can't believe you remember that."

"I was the poor, starving child. Of course I remember."

"For that comment alone, you're not getting any dessert. I was planning on sharing the leftover cake."

"You mean the cake I saw Aunt Daph taking into Ruby's room?"

I slid closer to the fridge, pulling the door open. No! I had plans for that cake.

"Don't look so heartbroken. I'm sure if you ask nicely, Dada will make another one when he gets back." Patrick patted my shoulder.

I swallowed my pride and closed the door, turning to face my brat of a son. "Would you quit mocking me?"

"Touchy. I thought you were against eating sweets and fattening food after seven."

"It's my rule. I can break it as often as I damn well please! Fuck."

"We have ice cream. Want that?" Patrick asked, trying to cheer me up, as if I was the child between the two of us.

"Want to watch another movie? In my study?" I grabbed two spoons and the ice cream box.

He shrugged, but took a spoon from me, pushing me out of the kitchen.

While I hit play on the last movie I watched with Justin, not even caring what it was, Patrick made himself comfortable on the loveseat across my desk. After angling the big monitor connected to the laptop toward us, I slumped next to my man, stealing the ice cream container.

"Hey! I was eating."

"If you want cute boys to look your way, you must watch out what you eat," I said conversationally, spooning ice cream in my mouth.

He gasped, flicking my arm.

"Ow!" I rubbed the spot, frowning at him.

"Can we not talk about that? This is the very reason why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd start dropping silly tips when I least expect it."

"That's my father duty—to help you." I pulled him closer, kissing his head.

"Well, don't."

We both turned to the screen when there was a loud moan, followed by another. It didn't take me much to remember what movie Justin wanted to last see. It was some new R rated movie about a gay couple's life.

I noticed Munchkin was gaping at the screen, where the sex scene kept going for longer than the usual screen time. He swallowed convulsively, shifting until his knees were drawn up.

"I can change the movie. I forgot what your dad wanted to watch the last time we…"

"No. Leave it." He kept his eyes glued on the screen.

Okay. It was getting awkward. For the first time, while watching a semi-porn movie, I wanted the fucking to end already. Watching such a movie with my son made me lose golden stars in my Good Parent Handbook, but fuck it.

We ate ice cream in silence, never making eye-contact, never straying our attention from the screen. I even jumped when Patrick accidentally touched my hand on his way to the container between us.

There was a scene where the couple was at the restaurant with their friends. They kept touching each other under the table, then one of them excused himself to the bathroom; not long later, the other went to check on his partner, earning knowing looks from their friends. The next scene showed them in a stall blowing each other, then there was door rattling fucking and grunting.

"That's totally gross," Patrick muttered, staring at the screen, disgusted.

"Huh?" It was the most intelligent thing I could come up with.

"Does that actually happen? In the toilet?"

I drew my lips in my mouth, doing my best not to crack up. Oh, young grasshopper. "Sometime," I answered as calmly as I could.

"Ewww!" We watched for a few more seconds, before he gasped, turning to stare at me. "Did you and Dada ever…?" He gestured to the screen.

"Do you seriously want to know that?" I chuckled.

Shoving a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, he shuddered. "I'll take that as a yes."

Hell, yes! "Don't tell me you haven't even gone to a bar or something. I won't believe you. Where have you been last night when you arrived long after curfew?"

"At Kyle's. We were studying."

"Human anatomy?"

"Dad!"

"What, Munchkin? I was your age once. Heck, I'd be worried if you didn't try anything until now."

"I'm a late bloomer!" He blushed brilliantly.

I snorted. "Don't steal Mikey's words. And I don't see how you could have been a saint with me as your dad."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Not ready to get in that discussion, I decided to share something that he could know without being freaked out. "I lost my virginity at fourteen."

"You mean…you had sex at fourteen? That's…so young!"

"It wasn't sex for a while. At first, I only blew him." I grinned, remembering the sneaking around with my gym teacher.

"With Dada, you mean?"

I tried, I swear, I tried not to gag. "Patrick! You know the story. We met when he was seventeen! If I'd met him when I was fourteen….that would have made him…" I snorted in laughter. "Two. Christ." I shuddered. "Let's never touch this subject again, please. For my sanity's sake."

"Oh!" He exclaimed. "So you were with a friend from school?"

"My gym teacher."

"Your…what? A teacher?"

"It was hot." I winked. "He was hot."

"If he looked anything like my gym teacher, then…" He paled, eyeing me curiously.

"He was in his early thirties, much younger than most of my teachers."

"Oh, that explains it. Barely. Couldn't you do it with another kid?"

"Like Mikey? He was my best friend. Not all friendships turn into relationships."

He shifted uncomfortably. Then it clicked in my head. He was friends with Kyle for at least seven years.

"Oh, you mean Kyle?" I pulled him closer, the movie long forgotten.

He nodded into my shoulder.

"So tell me. Have you done anything?" I inquired.

"We sort of kissed."

"How can you sort of kiss? You kiss or you don't."

"He…we…the other night…I promised to train him at basketball, since he's rubbish…he was so happy, he tackled me to the bed. He aimed to kiss my cheek, but when I fell, I turned my head and our lips brushed."

"And…"

"And we pulled apart like burned. We tried to pretend it didn't happen, as we started working on our English homework, but I could see he got a woody."

"Christ, Munchkin. If Kyle's anything like you, which I know he is, one of you has to break through that shyness. Seriously, kiddo. Tell him you like him, or simply grab him and kiss him."

"I couldn't!" He stared at me with wide blue eyes, terrified.

"Of course, you could. Look, homework. Next time we talk, I want to know if he's fluent in French."

"We're not taking French, Dad."

I slapped my forehead, seriously surprised our kid was so clueless. "Patrick, I want you to French kiss him."

"I can't do that," he sputtered.

"Why the fuck not? I thought you liked him."

He pulled away from me, sliding to the other end of the loveseat. "I haven't done that before."

"You learn as you go. It's not science. Like spanking the monkey. Remember, you didn't know how to do it, but instincts took over?"

"Do you think he'd accept this?" He asked fearfully.

"If he likes you too, which I have a feeling that he does, yes. He'd let you kiss him, even kiss you back."

We returned our focus on the movie, where were much tamer scenes.

"So I just stick my tongue in his mouth like that?" He pointed to the screen.

"You can start with a peck, then open his mouth." This was the craziest conversation to date I had with my son. Not even Gus had so many questions, and poor lad lived with two munchers.

"Is it going to be wet? What if I drool?"

"Munchkin, how about you do it, then come to me and tell me how awesome it was?" I squeezed his elbow.

He chewed on his lip.

"How about you invite Kyle over this weekend? You can show him this very educational movie. I bet he'd like it too."

His cheeks pinked. "Maybe."

"You should. I promise not to disturb you, and I want you to use what I gave you earlier," I added seriously.

"Daaad! We haven't even kissed yet. I'm not going to have sex with him."

"You never know. Better be prepared."

"How long was it after you kissed Dada that you…you know…did it?"

"A matter of minutes," I answered, laughing at his shocked face.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes."

"That's all you're going to tell me? Way not to scare me."

"It gets better. It's the first sting…then…you forget all about the pain," I promised.

He chewed some more on his lip. "How does it fit?"

I stared at him incredulously. "How about I let you discover that on your own? Just remember, lots of lube to loosen the inner muscles."

"What are you talking about?" I turned to the doorway where Justin was standing, his eyes fastened on the screen. "What the fuck are you watching?"

"You liked it last week. It got you so horny," I countered.

"Guuuuys!" Patrick moaned.

Justin dropped his backpack and came closer. I pulled him on my lap, kissing him softly. "You're back early."

"I couldn't stay there when I knew Peanut wasn't okay. Look what you do when I'm gone! You show Patrick porn movies!"

"This isn't porn, Sunshine. If you want to watch pornos, try the low shelf in the entertainment room, at the back." I winked at Patrick, who covered his face with his hands. "How is it that out of the two of us, our son is a prude?"

"Don't listen to your dad, honey." Justin slipped from my arms, going next to Patrick and hugging him. "I know you're not ready to tell us, but when you are…we're here to—"

"He's queer. Are we surprised?" I stopped his word-vomit.

Patrick glared at me.

"What, Munchkin? Was that a secret? Shouldn't dada know too?"

"We're so proud of you!" Justin squeezed him tightly, kissing his cheeks.

"Jeez. If you two react like this when I tell you I'm queer, I'm afraid to tell you something more important…like I'm the captain of the basketball team until the end of the year."

"You are?" I exclaimed, enveloping him in a big hug. "That's great news, Sonny Boy."

He extricated himself from the parent sandwich. "I'm off to bed. We still on for Saturday? I'll text Kyle."

"Sure thing, Munchkin."

"And lay off that Munchkin thing when he's around, will ya?"

I pursed my lips. "I'll think about it. Night."

"Night," he mumbled, waving awkwardly to us, before leaving.

"Good night!" Justin called after him, smiling. "Kyle coming over? Are we being introduced to Kyle, the boyfriend, instead of Kyle, the best friend, at last?"

"They only sort of kissed. Like literally stumbled and their lips met. Our kid is the epitome of socially awkward."

"You do realize I'd have been the same if I didn't meet you?"

"But he's our kid, Justin! The word inhibition doesn't exist in my vocabulary. He's so…I have no words. Seriously. I hope whatever it is between him and Kyle works out. You should have seen his face earlier when I gave him lube and rubbers."

"You didn't!" Justin smacked my shoulder. "You, moron!"

"What? I want him safe."

"Me too, but that must have been really embarrassing. I can't imagine how I'd have felt if my father gave me condoms."

"Relieved, that he was acting like a father?" I joked.

"I'm glad he never did. There are some things a teenager has to do, has to discover, on his own! You're turning into Debbie."

"Did I grow a twat and I don't know?"

"The way you behave. Give it a rest, Bri."

I closed to movie and shut the laptop, then took his hand, pulling him upstairs. "I'm glad you came back early."

He wrapped his arms around my waist. "How's Peanut?"

"Last I knew she was with that thief you call BFF."

"Daphne, a thief?" He chuckled.

"She stole my chocolate cake. She's a thief."

"That's why you were pigging out on the ice cream?"

"I wasn't pigging out. Your son ate most of it."

Justin cupped my cheek, reaching to kiss me. "You're adorable when you try to lie to me, but haven't you learned? I'm onto you."

"I beg to differ."

"I said onto not into."

We cracked up, but sobered quickly, not wanting to wake anyone. As quietly as possible, I opened the door to Ruby's room, and couldn't help but smile. She was adorable, all snuggled up with Daphne, cake smudges everywhere. At least, I knew she was feeling better.

"Adorable, like her daddy," Justin whispered, pulling the door shut.

In our room, I peeled off his shirt, taking a moment to admire his still gorgeous body. I ran my thumb over his right nipple, smiling.

"Remember you nipple ring?"

Justin stopped unbuckling my belt, meeting my eyes. "We had some hot sex with it present. As much as you proclaimed you didn't like it, you couldn't help yourself but tug at it."

"And it made you come like nothing else."

"God, I was so young and stupid."

"Why did you stop wearing it?" I wondered, working on his pants.

"I lost it." He laughed nervously. "When I packed my things and left…to Ethan."

"Mhmm." I nodded, pulling him close. I knew how much he regretted that time, but no matter how much I told him regret couldn't erase the past, the twat still felt guilty.

"I want a shower." He escaped my embrace. "You coming?" He stopped in the bathroom doorway, smirking.

"Or going?" I laughed, unable to stop myself.

Justin rolled his eyes. "You always say that."

"It was a memorable moment in my life."

"Then you said… or staying?"

"And you chose to listen to that."

"I'm glad I did." Justin beamed, walking backwards into the bathroom. "Now, come here, old man. I promise to wash your back."

"Who are you calling old?" I teased, rushing after him, digging my fingers in his sides. He gasped and twisted in my arms, until I had him pressed between the wall and me; then he wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist, before devouring my mouth.

Since he'd taken the rest of his clothes off before I reached him, I only had to unzip my pants and probe his hole with a finger.

"Someone was naughty." I gripped the bottom of the plug he had inside him and pulled it out. "How long did you wear it?"

"Since I left the airport." He grinned, kissing my neck. "I missed you so much. Do I have to beg for the rare delicacy?"

"You want it raw?" I asked, pulling away a little to search his eager eyes.

"Yes, please. I want to be close to you."

As the years passed, I'd indulged him more and more, since we hadn't tricked in forever.

"Why not?" I silenced his loud groan with my lips on his, then I pushed slowly into him.

"Fuuuck," he moaned into my mouth, clinging to me tightly. "Can you hold me?"

"Have some faith. I never dropped you." I pressed him further into the wall, before diving into him the way we both needed.

It was becoming difficult to keep him quiet, when my own moans were rising as I climbed higher. Justin threw his head back, giving me access to his throat where I nipped until a hickey appeared.

"So good! Don't stop. Harder."

I doubled my speed, grunting into his neck, before we both stilled and fell apart at the same time. I slumped forward, squishing him into the wall.

"Shit!" He squeaked, sliding his legs to the ground. "What are you doing here?"

I slipped out of him and tucked my dick in my pants, before turning around, shielding him. To my great relief, it was only Daphne, gaping at us.

"Can you two be quiet? You woke us. Luckily, I convinced Ruby I could come check on you. She wanted to make sure her daddy was okay."

Justin pressed his forehead to my shoulder blade. "Hand me the robe," he mumbled.

Daphne, being closer to the hanger, threw it his way. She shook her head, watching us amused.

"Not a word. You have no idea how difficult it is to find a quiet moment so we can fuck in peace," I muttered, wrapped an arm around Justin, pulling him closer.

He finished tying the robe, looking at his feet. "Thank you, Daph. For offering to check on us alone."

"I figured you'd come early. I heard you talking in the hallway, but was already dozing off." She shrugged.

"Well, I'll shower then come check on Peanut." He grimaced, holding a hand to his ass. I knew the disadvantage of fucking raw was the mess, but it felt so damn good.

When she didn't move, I guided her to the door. "That means you have to leave and entertain Ruby until we're done in the shower," I explained.

"You didn't get enough?"

Justin turned the water on, throwing her a large smile and briefly meeting my eyes. "There's no such thing as enough, Daphne."

She rolled her eyes, before shuffling out of the bathroom and shutting the door after her.