Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Author's Chapter Notes:

Once again I need to apologize for the delay in updating. My life took a turn for the better, but that also means I got much busier. A new job and a new apartment took a lot of my concentration, but I'm settling back into a schedule again so while I can't promise completely regular updates, you won't have to wait weeks for them. :)

One Month Later.

 

Brian woke to Justin rolling over on top of him.  He smiled a bit and ran his hand down the smooth expanse of Justin’s back and then firmly cupped the younger man’s plump ass.  He squeezed it greedily and smirked when Justin moaned as he woke as well.  Brian tilted his head back as Justin began sucking on his neck.

 

Justin moved down from his neck to his collarbone, then chest and navel.  Finally Justin came to a stop to hover over his cock.  He gave a teasing lick at the already hard length before slowly sliding his lips over the head.

 

Brian shut his eyes once more and moaned in pleasure as Justin’s expert mouth worked his cock.  He reached his hands down and trailed them through Justin’s hair, enjoying the feeling of the silky strands.  He gently pressed Justin closer as his climax approached.  When he came, he shot down Justin’s throat and was then licked clean.

 

He pulled Justin back up and they shared a deep, slow, penetrating kiss.  Brian tasted himself on Justin’s lips and tongue and it served to harden him once more.  “When do you have to get to the diner?”  He asked with his lips still pressed against the blond’s.

 

“Nn…too soon.”  Justin answered as he slid to the side and fell back onto the bed.  He was still pressed against Brian’s side and hooked one of his legs between Brian’s.  The brunet felt Justin’s hardened cock pressed against him.

 

“Well, we’ll just have to go quickly then.”  He said, reaching over to the nightstand and grabbing a condom and small tube of lube.  Justin smiled broadly at him and quickly rolled onto his stomach.  Brian kicked his leg over Justin and straddled the young man’s waist.  Justin squirmed under him just slightly and Brian playfully slapped his ass.  He then used some lube to prepare Justin before sliding on the condom and slipping inside.  As always, Justin was tight and hot and he grunted from the sheer pleasure of it.

 

He knew Justin really didn’t have much time before he had to report for work, so he made it good, but quick.  Efficient thrusts made Justin writhe and moan beneath him.  It was a perk of knowing Justin’s body better than he knew his own.  He knew exactly what he needed to do to get him off, just like he knew what he needed to do if he wanted to draw it out and torture the young man.   He didn’t even have to reach around to touch him; Justin came from his cock alone and he followed just after.

 

 He didn’t collapse on top of Justin, but did slowly lower himself so he was flush with the younger man’s back.  Justin moaned contently as he sunk into the cheap mattress and let out a small grunt of protest as Brian went to pull out.  That made the brunet smile a bit, but he continued to do so, holding the top of the condom so it didn’t slid off.

 

He then ran his hands up and down Justin’s back, giving him a firm and relaxing massage.  “You have a big day today?”  Brian asked as he rubbed circles on Justin’s shoulders.

 

“Mmhmm…”  Justin murmured, clearly relaxed.  “Lunch at the diner, dinner at Peppino’s.”  He explained in a groggy voice.

 

“You’ve been working a lot of double shifts lately.”  Brian commented with a frown.  He worried for Justin over the past month.  As he continued to struggle to make Kinnetik a reality, Justin supported the both of them by working practically 12 hours a day.  It did more than just bruise his ego.  He continually hated the fact that he had to rely on the young blond.

 

The last few weeks he had curbed his dream of getting large clients to come to him – thanks in most part to Ed Kingston – and instead had focused on small local businesses.  It didn’t bring in much money, but what he did get often went to paying for groceries or gas.  Justin made up his entire art department, and he paid for everything else.  The few hundred dollars Kinnetik brought in was enough to prevent Justin from having to work day and night - barely.

 

“Well, we need the money, Brian.”  Justin pointed out as he rolled over and looked up at the man.  Brian could see the cum on Justin’s stomach glisten as he shifted.

 

Brian suddenly frowned and moved off of the blond and towards the small bathroom attached to their room.  “Yeah, no need to remind me…”  He grumbled as he grabbed a towel and ran it under warm water.  He quickly washed himself down and then rang the towel out.  He wet it again and then walked back to the bed and wiped up Justin’s stomach.

 

Justin reached up and stroked his cheek and then ran his fingers through his hair.  “Hey…It’s fine.  Kinnetik is going to be great.  It’ll just take time.”  Justin promised with a tender smile.

 

“Yeah.”  Brian answered, but he didn’t sound as certain.  Instead, he just flashed Justin a smile and then grabbed the smaller hand caressing him and kissed his fingers.  “Babylon tonight?”  He asked suddenly, feeling self-conscious about what he’d just done, it was far too tender.

 

“Sure.”  Justin said as he sat up and moved off the bed to pull on a pair of boxers.  “Pick me up after my shift with a change of clothes.”  He said and then cocked his head to the door.  “Will you make some breakfast while I shower?”  Justin asked kindly.

 

Brian nodded as he pulled on a pair of his own boxers.  It was a common ritual now, since Justin was so busy and he had time to spare.  “What do you want?”  He asked as he walked to the door.

 

“Anything.  The usual.”  Justin answered before ducking into the bathroom and starting the shower.  Brian nodded none the less and turned to walk down the small hallway of the one bedroom apartment into the kitchen.

 

He brought out some pans and began making some scrambled eggs for the younger man.  He toasted some bread and buttered Justin’s, keeping his own plain.  By the time the eggs were done cooking he heard the shower shut off so he plated their food and set it on the small table next to the kitchen.  Justin emerged from the bedroom a few minutes later, dressed, with his hair slightly damp from the shower.  Brian reached out and playfully shook up Justin’s wet strands before placing his plate in front of him.  Silently, Brian sat across from him and they ate.  They played footsie as they did so, Justin smiling broadly the whole time while Brian looked at him more indulgently.  When they finished, Brian took a quick shower before dressing and driving to the diner.

 

“So what’re you going to do today?”  Justin asked as he leaned back in the chair.

 

Brian shrugged a bit and casually steered the car with one hand while the other rubbed up and down Justin’s thigh.  “Putting out more inquires.  A lot of my old client’s contracts are going to expire soon.”  He explained as he let his hand rest curved on the inside of the blond’s thigh, then he playfully rubbed up Justin’s cock.

 

Justin spread his legs in the seat and let Brian touch him.  “I hope it works out.”  He said honestly, his voice sounding thick with lust.

 

Brian did too, but he didn’t say anything else.  He had Justin panting and thrusting his hips up and down by the time he pulled up to the diner.  He let go and turned off the car, withholding a smirk as Justin whimpered in protest.  He leaned over and gently bit Justin’s ear.  “You don’t honestly think I’d let you go to work like that, do you?”  He whispered before swiftly getting out of the car.

 

Justin followed, practically jumping from the car, and the two booked it to the diner’s bathroom.  Brian left him five minutes later, satisfied and ready to work.  He left smiling, but as soon as he slid back into the ‘vette it faded.  He remained there for a short time, watching Justin through the window as he put on his apron and started working.

 

All month Justin had been working double shifts in order to pay all their bills.  Brian managed to bring in a measly sum, but it covered next to nothing.  It was a bitter pill to swallow, depending on his twenty year old lover.  One of the things he had always enjoyed was taking care of Justin – now he couldn’t.  He sat there, watching Justin work and wear a tired smile, for a few more minutes.  He was interrupted by the ringing of his cellphone.  He reached into his pocket to pull it out and got a little concerned when he saw it was Lindsay calling.  Worried for Gus, he instantly answered.  “Hello?”

 

“Oh Brian, I’m so glad I caught you.  The daycare is closed because one of the nanny’s got sick and Melanie’s stuck at the office.  I need you to watch Gus for a few hours.”  Lindsay cut right to the chase.

 

As his heart began beating at a normal pace, Brian turned on the car and started driving to her house.  “Sure, I’m already out.  I’ll be right there.”  He said and then after a heartfelt thank you from his old friend, he hung up.  He supposed contacting his old clients would have to wait.

 


 

“I really appreciate this, Brian.”  Lindsay said as she ushered Brian into her home.

 

“Yeah.  Whatever.  Where is my little Sonnyboy?”  He asked, scanning the living room as he walked in, surprised the child wasn’t already dive bombing him for a hug.  Gus was always so excited to see him, and though he reigned in his emotions, he enjoyed spending time with his son as well.

 

“Well he’s taking a nap right now, but he should be up and about in a half hour.”  She explained as she began grabbing her things.  “Call me on my cell if you need anything, but I’ll be in meetings.  If it’s an emergency call Mel.”

 

“Lindz…”  Brian started, but was cut off.

 

“Oh and don’t forget the car seat if you need to take him anywhere.”

 

“Lindz.”  He tried again, this time more firmly, but she cut him off again.

 

“And no sweets.  He’s at that age where sugar just turns him into a little monster and I don’t want to be dealing with that tonight.”

 

“Lindz!”  He shouted this time and finally managed to quiet her.  “I got it.  I know how to take care of my own kid.  Now just go.”  He said, gently pushing her towards the door.

 

“I know.  I just worry.”  Lindsay lightly patted his shoulder and then kissed his cheek.  “I’ll be back later tonight.”

 

“See ya.”  Brian waved and then shut the door behind her.  He stood in the foyer for a moment before kicking off his shoes and walking to the living room.  He crashed down on the sofa and leaned his head back on the rest and looked up at the ceiling.  Kicking his feet up on the coffee table, he scanned the room.

 

Even though he’d been in there countless times he’d never taken the time to really look around.  Scanning the walls he saw pieces of art by Lindsay and Justin – one was decidedly better than the other.  He smirked, proud of his talented lover, but then stood and examined one of the pieces hanging up.  It was a drawing of him and Gus that he’d never seen before, which was odd, because Justin always showed him every sketch or painting he did.

 

Then, looking at the bottom corner, he realized why.  Justin dated his sketches as well as signed them, and this one had been done when the blond was still off with Ethan.  ‘Interesting…’  Brian thought as he looked at the picture.  Brian saw the way Justin felt about him in his drawings – and this one was no different.  He had always suspected that the only reason Justin had been with Ethan was to have a break from their unconventional and somewhat bumpy relationship but had every intention to return.  Looking at this picture he had his suspicions confirmed.  It was...reassuring.

 

He reached out and touched the glass covering Gus’ face and smiled a bit.  That was when he heard the cry of the little boy from upstairs.  ‘And so it begins.’

 


 

That evening, Brian was feeding Gus some dinner when Lindsay returned.  They both glanced up at the same time and smiled as she walked in.  “Sorry I took longer than expected.”  Lindsay said and then scooped Gus up into her arms as he was reaching for her.

 

“Mommy!”  The little boy exclaimed and then curled into her.

 

“It’s fine.”  Brian said nonchalantly.  “I called Justin and he got a ride from the diner to his other job.”  Brian commented, and then instantly regretted it when he saw a shadow pass over Lindsay’s features.

 

“Well…”  She said softly as she set Gus down.  “I really do appreciate it.  Here’s for the trouble.”  She said, handing out a check.

 

Brian looked down at it with a scowl, and then back up at her.  “You’re going to pay me for looking after my own son?”  He asked, his tone becoming stiff and icy.

 

“Well, I was later than I thought and I would pay any babysitter-.”

 

“Except I’m his father.”  Brian said, standing from the table and starting to get his things.  Lindsay still held it out.

 

“Just take it Brian.  Use it for groceries or-.”

 

“I don’t need your money.”  Brian insisted as he sat on the stairs so he could put on his shoes.

 

“Justin is working double shifts every day.  I’m sure it’ll help.”  She said, once more holding out the money.

 

“Justin is fine.”  Brian said before kneeling in front of Gus and giving him a hug.  “Later, Sonnyboy.”  He promised and then flashed Lindsay a look of disapproval before storming out of the house.

 

Brian sped all the way to the apartment because of how frustrated he was.  He gripped the steering wheel and grumbled about how manipulative and cruel Lindsay was.  ‘I don’t need her money.  I don’t need anyone’s money.  I already took one hand out and I’m not taking another.’  He told himself as he strode into his home.

 

‘Except Justin’s.’  A small, vindictive, part of his mind sneered at him.  ‘Some man you are, relying on someone twelve years younger than you.’

 

He scowled and reached into their liquor cabinet, decidedly smaller than the one he had at the loft.  He poured himself a cheap glass of vodka because they could no longer afford anything of quality.  After the shot he felt himself calm a little and closed his eyes.

 

Then, figuring he still had time, he went to the computer and started looking up some of his old clients and reached out to them.

 

It was nearly eleven and he was watching a dvd on the laptop when he heard Justin’s key jingle in the lock.  It was at that moment he remembered he was supposed to pick Justin up from work.  He barely glanced up as the blond came in, dressed in his uniform, and carrying two arm-fulls of groceries.  He didn’t stand to help as Justin placed the bags on the counter and started putting the food away.  All he could think about was all the money Justin spent so he could eat.

 

“Hey, how was the day with Gus?”  Justin asked, bent over with his face in the fridge as he made room for everything.

 

“Fine.”  Brian answered, his voice tight.  He watched Justin tense.  So the blond picked up on his attitude, he wasn’t surprised.  Justin always knew what he was thinking.

 

“Good.”  Justin answered, closing the fridge to put some food in the cupboards.  “Mind giving me a hand with this?”  He asked, motioning to the bags.

 

Brian huffed and stood, yanking a bag open and handing Justin some boxes of cereal.  “Yes dear.”  He said mockingly.  Justin just rolled his eyes and their finished their task in silence.

 

When they were finished, Justin reached out, put a hand on his shoulder, and tried to start giving him a massage.  However, Brian was in no mood and quickly pulled away.  “Babylon?”  He reminded instead.

 

He could see that Justin wanted to say no, but it seemed that he either remembered he'd already agreed to it this morning, or wanted to please him so instead he nodded.  “I’ll just go change.”  He said, and then brushed by Brian.  The brunet turned to watch him go before following after, knowing he had to get dressed as well.

 

When they got there, Brian had to withhold a sigh of frustration as Justin paid the door fee and for their drinks.  After Lindsay had mentioned how hard Justin was working for his money it was making him feel inferior.  Each time it dug a little deeper.  He snapped his head back as the hard liquor stung down his throat but it did nothing to ease the bitterness that was growing inside him.

 

He left Justin at the bar and immediately went to the dance floor.  He didn’t look back at the blond, but he could only imagine the look on his face; he didn’t care.  He needed something Justin couldn’t give him – something he didn’t want to take from him.  It wasn’t long before a man was dancing up next to him and he let his mind go blank in the heat of the dance.

 

He and the trick danced together for several songs before Brian decided he was ready to move on, which meant going into the backroom to fuck him.  He led the built man through the crowd and into the familiar room.  Once finding an empty corner, Brian motioned down to his cock, inviting the man to suck him off.  The trick didn’t hesitate to kneel and pull his hardened length from his pants.

 

As the man worked his cock, he leaned his head back against the wall and tried to force himself not to think about what had happened with Lindsay earlier.  It was hard as he knew Justin was outside, probably still at the bar, buying himself more drinks.  It only served to frustrate him more as those thoughts were why he wanted to trick in the first place.

 

Still, he managed to come, and shot down the guy’s throat.  He figured if he really wanted to clear his mind he’d have to find a hotter guy, so he abandoned any ideas of fucking this one.  Instead, he just zipped himself up and flashed an appreciate smirk at the trick before moving along.  He wasn’t surprised when a hand on his arm stopped him.  He turned back, looking apologetic, ready to tell him that he didn’t do repeats, but a serious expression on the man’s face disturbed him and made him remain silent.

 

“Just thought you’d like to know…I’m a doctor.  And I felt a lump on your left testicle.  Might want to get it checked out.”  He said before slipping past Brian and back onto the dance floor.

 

Brian remained stunned and immobile.  ‘A lump?’  He thought blankly, not really registering what that could mean.  Was it an STD?  Or something worse?

 

And just like that his money problems didn’t seem so big anymore.

 

He walked back out to the bar and spotted Justin still leaning against it. But now there was a man leaning up next to him, his lips whispering in Justin’s ear.  He had always found it arousing watching Justin fuck other guys; it gave him a rush.  But something angry twisted inside of him when Justin suddenly started laughing and smiled up at that stranger. 

 

Then, for some reason, Justin turned and looked over at him.  Brian relaxed because Justin’s smile grew and glowed in the way it only did for him.  Brian felt himself lighten a bit and he walked over to the younger man who was now ignoring the trick.  “Hey.”  Brian said as he walked up to him.

 

“Hey.”  Justin answered and lightly kissed his lips.  Brian could see the question in Justin’s eyes.  What had he been angry about?  Was he still upset?  Was it something he did?  But he also knew Justin would never ask any of those questions.

 

Deciding to reassure the blond, he reached an arm around the slim waist and pulled him close as he kissed him thoroughly.  He explored Justin’s mouth with his tongue and held the blond in place at his waist and by the back of his head.  Distantly, he wondered if this was his way of staking a claim, but he brushed it off because he didn’t want to know what that meant.

 

After a good minute, he backed off and smirked as he left Justin panting and slightly dazed.  “C’mon.”  He said, moving towards the dance floor.  He looped his arms around Justin’s neck and swayed with his young lover.

 

In the back of the mind he tried to force himself to forget what the trick said.  Justin already worked double shifts every day and they were barely getting by.  They didn’t have the money for him to go to a doctor to get checked out.

 


 

The next few weeks went by much the same for the pair.  Summer started turning into fall and a light chill began to pervade the air.  That meant one thing for the lovers; a higher heating bill.  The apartment lost heat easily, so they were constantly having to turn on the heater.  As a result, Justin had to work even more often as Brian continued to struggle to make Kinnetik a reality.  Now, several months into the endeavor, he was about ready to call it quits.

 

After reaching out to all his old clients whose contracts ran up with VanGard and receiving nothing but more rejection, he didn’t know what else to do.  Kinnetik was even further away now than before.  The bitterness he felt earlier continued to come in waves, particularly whenever one of their meddling family members mentioned how hard Justin was working to support the both of them; as if he didn’t already know – as if it didn’t kill him inside to see Justin stumble in late at night, exhausted from working three shifts a day.

 

Currently, Justin was practically asleep on his shoulder as they sat at Debbie’s table for Sunday dinner.  Justin was apathetically pushing his food around the plate and looked as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.  Brian simply kept his hand on knee, rubbing and down his thigh occasionally to try and keep him awake.

 

Conversation flowed around them, and though Brian made the occasional comment, Justin was silent.  He had barely had time to join them for dinner at all, as he had just finished his lunch shift and had to go to his dinner shift at Peppino’s just two hours later.

 

Justin suddenly snapped his head up, however, when Debbie called to him.  “Sunshine!  You’ve barely eaten a bite!  Where is that teenager that ate half my fridge?”  She asked playfully, but then scooped another serving of mashed potatoes on his plate.

 

“Really Debbie, I’m fine.  I’m just not that hungry.  I ate some at work.”  Justin said, but Brian knew instantly it was a lie.  Justin had been getting thinner and thinner.

 

Brian glanced at him with a frown, but said nothing.  Debbie shot Brian a look, and then the conversation continued on.  When the time came for Justin to leave, he patted Brian on the arm and asked for the car keys before bidding farewell to the rest of the family.  It took all of five seconds for the rest of the family to look over at him accusingly.

 

“Brian how can you-.”

 

“Are you blind, Brian?”

 

“He’s thin as a rail!  How much is he-?”

 

“He barely even ate anything!  And don’t think I believe that he ate at work!  He never eats at the diner anymore.  Says he’s sick of the food.”  Debbie over powered everyone else and her scowl was the worst.  Brian just sighed and sunk into his seat.

 

The trouble was, he agreed with them.  Justin was working far too much – but he didn’t know how to help.

 

“He’s going to get sick, Brian.”  Michael added, sincere worry in his voice.  “You remember when Ma collapsed from exhaustion?  Well Justin looks like he could fall at any minute.”  Michael glanced to Ben who nodded in agreement.

 

“I know, ok?!”  Brian shouted at them defensively.  “I fucking live with him!  You don’t think I know?”  He asked and brusquely pushed away from the table and paced in the kitchen.

 

“Then do something about it.”  Melanie said, crossing her arms over her chest.  “He’s already been in one coma.  Do you want him to be in another?”

 

Brian stilled and looked over at her.  “Don’t.”  He warned her, his voice chillingly low.  He had tried to push all those horrible nights from his mind.

 

It didn’t work.

 

He thought about pacing outside Justin’s room, hoping, even praying, that he would wake up.  He made bargains with a god he didn’t even believe in; he promised just about anything if Justin would just wake up and be ok. 

 

Then, thinking about Justin’s time in the hospital made him recall what that trick had told him about the lump on his testicle.  “Just stay out of it.”  Brian snapped and then looked at Michael.  “Give me a ride home.”  He said and then strode outside.

 

Michael and Ben followed a few moments later, each eying him with concern.  Brian sat in the back of their new car and felt all of his bitterness towards Justin finally disappear.  All he had left was concern, for the both of them.  Justin couldn’t keep up at the pace he was going, and Brian could only guess what was wrong with him.

 

What a pair they made.

 

“Hey…stop by Justin’s work.”  He said suddenly, and Michael nodded then changed directions.  When they arrived, Brian got out of the car and walked into the restaurant, scanning the tables for Justin.  The hostess greeted him with familiarity, as Brian had been by many times, either to pick Justin up or drop him off. 

 

Brian nodded to her, but then spotted Justin in one of the far sections.  Brian felt his heart grow heavy as he saw Justin’s uniform practically swallowed him, his eyes were sunk in, and his cheeks were hollow.  ‘God, Sunshine.  What’s going to happen to us?’  He thought sadly.

 

Justin noticed him and quickly finished up with his table before walking back to the front and looking at Brian confused.  “Is everything ok?”  He asked as he walked up.

 

Brian ran his hands up and down Justin’s arms and then bent to kiss him tenderly on the lips.  Justin chuckled against him, but kissed him back.  Brian ran his fingers through Justin’s hair and cupped his hands gently on Justin’s neck.  When he bent back Justin was smiling up at him.  “What was that for?”  Justin asked, glancing around to the people looking at them.

 

“What reason do I need?  We’re partners, right?”  Brian asked and saw a pleased but somewhat confused look cross over Justin’s features.  Brian knew he was acting strange, but Justin deserved some kind of recognition for everything he’d done over the past few months.

 

“Yeah…I guess.”  Justin said softly and then blushed as Brian reached up and brushed a finger against his cheek.

 

“See you tonight, ok?”  He said and then bent to peck the tip of Justin’s nose.  Justin nodded and smiled up at Brian again.  The way he did it made Brian’s heart skip a beat.  It was the same, brilliant smile Justin had given him as he walked away on the night of his prom.  ‘God…’  Brian thought as he watched Justin turn and go back to work.  'He's so beautiful.' 

 

He stood there for a moment, feeling his mind being torn in so many ways.  Owning his own company had been his dream…But he supposed some things were more important; or maybe someone.

 


 

After Michael had dropped him off at his apartment Brian went to work cleaning as much of it as he possibly could, so that it was pristine when Justin arrived later that night.  He already kept the apartment pretty tidy, as he was a naturally clean person and had plenty of time on his hands, but he didn’t want Justin to see a single piece of trash. 

 

Justin was closing, so he didn’t get home until after midnight, but Brian was waiting for him when he was.  He was laying back on the bed, naked, and as soon as Justin walked in he spread open his legs and smirked.  Justin smiled at him and quickly stripped.  He crawled onto the bed and Brian shifted them so he was on top, hovering over him.

 

Without saying anything, he kissed Justin and began gently running his hands up and down his sides.  As they kissed, Justin began talking.  “I have work at six….”  He murmured even as he arched up into Brian’s touch.

 

“Shhh…I know.”  Brian murmured as he continued to stroke Justin’s body.  He felt as well as saw Justin relax deeper into their bed.  He straddled over his hips and pressed a few kisses to Justin’s collarbone and then dipped his tongue into the hollow of his neck.  Justin sighed from pleasure and relaxation and closed his eyes as Brian continued to caress him.

 

After a few moments of rubbing his chest and arms, Brian moved Justin over onto his stomach.  Justin squirmed until he was comfortable.  Brian continued rubbing down his back and shoulder blades and listened as Justin’s breathing deepen.  He only stopped once Justin’s breath evened out and his body went loose.  Brian moved off of him and laid beside him, watching him sleep.

 

He watched as Justin rolled closer to him and suddenly latched onto him.  Brian didn’t move away as he normally would.  Instead, he looped an arm around the slim body and held him close.

 

‘What a pair we make.  Justin’s going to work himself to death and my body is killing me from the inside out.’  He thought as he kissed the top of Justin’s head.  He then leaned his head back and went to sleep.

 


 

The next morning, Brian woke to Justin slipping out of the bed.  He reached out and gently took the younger man’s arm, pulling him back down.  “Hey.”  He greeted, his voice thick and gruff from only a few hours of sleep.

 

“Hey.”  Justin whispered, his voice naturally low in the early morning.  “I was trying not wake you up.”  He finished and Brian shrugged it off as he rubbed his eyes.

 

“No, it’s fine.  I wanted to talk to you.”  Brian said and the strange words made Justin pause and look at him with concern.

 

“What about?”  The blond asked as he shifted to lay up on his elbow.

 

Brian reached up and twirled his fingers through the soft silky locks of blond hair.  He smiled softly and then sighed.  “I’m going to look for other jobs.  Stop focusing so much on trying to make Kinnetik work.”  He informed and couldn’t help the painful smile from tugging at his lips.  It was hard, finally admitting aloud that he was failing.

 

Justin frowned and instantly shook his head.  He took Brian’s hand and held it down between them.  “No.  You don’t need to do that.  Kinnetik will work out, I’m sure of it.”  He said confidently.

 

Brian just shook his head.  “It’s not.  At least not now.”  Brian insisted, and then reached the tip of his fingers up to the sunken in bags below Justin's eyes.  “It’s too much.”

 

Justin suddenly looked sad and closed his eyes.  He then moved his head to kiss the tips of Brian’s fingers.  “I’m fine, Brian.”  He murmured softly.  “Really.”  He opened up his eyes and laid back, curling in closer to the older man.  “I want you to keep working on Kinnetik.”

 

“No, I need to help start paying the bills.  We’re partners, Justin.  And I can’t just live off of you.”  Brian insisted, laying on his back and running his hands up and down Justin’s side.  He could feel the bumps of his ribs.

 

“Oh you mean like I did?”  Justin asked, not aggressively, but to prove his point.

 

“It’s different.”  Brian insisted.

 

“How?”

 

“I’m not seventeen.”

 

Justin sighed and Brian could feel the puff of air against his side.  “So?”  He asked, tilting his head up to look at Brian.  “What’s so bad about me taking care of things for a while?”

 

“Well for one you’re working three shifts a day.  You’re losing weight; you’re beginning to look like a skeleton.  And another thing - relying on you makes me feel an inch big.”  Brian muttered and immediately felt Justin stiffen next to him.

 

“Relying on me?”  Justin asked, slowly lifting himself up to look down at Brian.  “Because it’s wrong to rely on me?”

 

“I didn’t mean it like that…”  Brian began, but knew it was already too late.

 

“Then how did you mean it?”

 

“Just that I’m the one who takes care of you.  Not the other way around.”  Brian insisted, but could tell that it didn’t help.  Justin was fully sitting up and even in the gray morning light Brian could tell that he was frowning.

 

Justin was silent for a moment and then stood with a heavy sigh.  He began collecting his work clothes and looked as if he was going to storm out of the room but then drew short and looked down at Brian.  “You know…if you don’t understand why I work so hard for this, then we aren’t really partners.”  Justin spun out of the room and into the bathroom, leaving Brian alone and speechless.

 

He laid back in the bed and looked out the window at the dark morning.  The sun was still an hour from really rising as Justin had to wake so early for the opening shift at the diner.  He heard the shower running and just shook his head.  His little declaration hadn’t gone as well as he had planned.  He had expected Justin to welcome the reprieve; to be glad that he’d no longer be the only one bringing in money.

 

Instead he stomped off in a huff.

 

Brian ran a hand through his hair and frowned.   He didn’t understand why Justin had got so upset.  The boy had stormed off as if he was seventeen all over again.  Except, instead of affectionate annoyance, he felt as if maybe Justin had a leg to stand on.  He just didn’t understand why he felt that way. 

 

Justin had said it had to do with them being partners.  Honestly, to Brian, it was just a word; a word that he knew made Justin happy.  It wasn’t a guarantee or promise of anything – either one of them could end whatever it was they had.  Granted, from past experience, it was going to be Justin if it was either of them.  After all, he was perfectly happy with things the way they were before.

 

But if Justin wanted them to be partners he supposed there were worse things…

 

He supposed if he wanted to figure out why Justin was upset, he’d have to think just like him.  Justin was a romantic at heart – he always figured it had to do with the artist in him.  To him, being partners meant…

 

“Being equals.”  Brian spoke aloud as the thought finally occurred to him.

 

Justin had always insisted they be equals.  He even made them write up that ridiculous contract in order for him to pay back his tuition, as if Brian had any intention of letting that happen.  But maybe that was the problem.  Just like how he had problems with being taken care of, so did Justin.  He didn’t want to be a burden, he didn’t want to have to rely on someone because that just made it so much easier for them to leave you.

 

Justin was so determined to make them equals because he wanted to make sure Brian didn’t leave him.

 

‘No…’  He suddenly thought, realizing he was thinking too much like himself.  That was why he always took care of everyone; Justin, Michael, Debbie, Lindsay…If he gave them enough they would need him and couldn’t leave him.  But Justin wasn’t like him.

 

Justin was romantic.

 

Justin…Justin loved him.

 

Being partners was important to Justin because it showed him that he loved him.  Justin had stopped saying it some time ago – due to Brian’s request – but that didn’t mean that he just stopped loving him.  But before now, Brian had never believed him.  He had always just assumed it was Justin’s age, or romantic tendencies that made the blond believe he loved him.

 

‘Yeah and working himself to death is just part of his romantic tendencies.’  Brian thought with a sad roll of his eyes.

 

He glanced to the bathroom door and felt something odd stir inside of him.

 

Justin truly loved him.  Justin believed in him.  Justin wanted him to succeed and was willing to work as hard as necessary to make that happen.

 

‘Talk about life changing revelations…’  Brian thought as he sat up on the bed and tried to shake off the strange emotions beginning to grow.

 

No one had ever done for him what Justin was doing.  No one had sacrificed so much simply because they wanted to help him.  Everyone had ulterior motives.  Everyone wanted something.  Except Justin…

 

And he’d just stuck his foot in his mouth.

 

He slid from the bed and walked to the bathroom.  He tried the handle, surprised to find it unlocked.  Once he slipped inside he looked to the foggy shower stall.  He opened up the door and surprised Justin with a gust of cold air.  The blond turned and looked at him surprised.

 

Brian stepped up over the tub lid and into the cramped shower stall.  He didn’t say anything – he still wasn’t sure what it was he felt for his young lover, all he knew was he felt a lot of it.

 

Justin looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, as if silently asking him what he had to say for himself.  Brian just placed his hands on Justin’s wet shoulders and bent in to kiss him.  But before their lips met he pulled up short.  He looked into the sharp blue eyes and asked for permission.  Justin leaned up and pressed their lips together.

 

They never needed words – their bodies always spoke well enough to understand each other.                                       

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