Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction

Brian woke up with a start. He had the acute sensation that he overslept. When he opened his eyes, his suspicions were confirmed, as a dim light flooded the room. God! How was it possible? He didn’t heard the alarm, just today. He couldn’t afford to be late. The videoconference was at 9 o'clock, 6 o'clock in Moscow. It had been agreed that way to make it within working hours in both countries. What time was?


Turning his head frantically in panic of failing in the most momentous day of his professional life, he made a sudden movement of the body, and heard something like a faint moan. He then noticed that he was not alone in bed. There was someone else, hugging him and curled up on his chest! He looked down, thus, his body twitched again. Indeed, he saw a blond head on his chest. What the hell...? He remembered well sending the guy from last night on his way, and he wasn’t even blond. Besides, he was sure of not being drunk or drugged. In that moment, from the blond head came a gentle, sexy even, voice.


"A little longer, Brian..." The voice said, in a cuddly and sleepy tone. "Let’s take advantage that the children aren’t up yet." The voice continued in the same tone, and its owner snuggled further against him. CHILDREN! Which chi-? Brian thought alarmed, but didn’t have time for more, because in that moment, the door of the bedroom (OH GOD! IT WAS NOT HIS BEDROOM!) Flung open, and a little girl with messy brown-gold hair and pink pajamas, burst in, carrying on her hip a blond baby. Brian watched in horror as the brat deposited the baby on the bed and climbed on top of it herself, starting to jump and shout without any compassion, while the baby was crawling with amazing speed and cheerful chirps toward the paralyzed Brian. However, on top of it all, then a furry beast also came into the room, jumped on the bed, and accompanied by barking the cries of the little girl.


"Come on, come on! Get up! It's Christmas!” The brat shouted her lungs off, while jumping on the bed. The blond baby had already reached Brian's bare chest, and sat on it without stopping to issue unintelligible gurgling, displaying a wide smile of three teeth, and proceeded to rub his pacifier full of drool all over Brian's face, who still was unable to react. Where the fuck was he? He was certain of having seen the hustler walk away last night. But, could he have come back? Had he somehow injected Brian any drugs to kidnap him? Well, stranger things have happened, and after all, he was very rich.


While he continued being unable to move or speak, amidst all the mayhem, the guy who had been crouched over him, sat on the bed, and then Brian saw his face. JUSTIN! How could it be? Although he hadn’t seen him in 11 years, it wasn’t hard to recognize him. And his reaction to him was almost the same as that night under the lamppost. Only now Justin looked even more handsome, if anything. Even rubbing his eyes to clear them from sleep. His hair was longer, giving him a bohemian air very suitable for an artist, Brian thought.


"Enough, Heather." The blond said in a firm but sweet tone, addressing the girl. "Get off the bed... You too, Rocky. Come on. Down.” He gestured with his hand and the dog jumped down, but kept barking and wagging his tail furiously. The girl, however, continued on the bed, but at least she stopped jumping.


"Come on, Daddy-Justin, let's open the presents. You said we could when it was day. And it’s day already.” The girl said full of reason. Justin smiled and rubbed his hand over his face.


"Yes, I said that. You're right. Fine. We’ll open a gift each, but only one, before breakfast, okay?” He began to get out of bed. Brian saw that he was wearing a boxer, and a shirt, both garments too loose. He took some sweatpants at the foot of the bed, and put them on. Then he turned to the bed, the girl jumped down and ran out of the bedroom, followed by the dog. "Come on, Brian. You heard it. Time to open presents.” He sing-sang, taking the baby off of Brian, who finally was able to speak.


"I... I think I’ll pass." Brian stammered overwhelmed by everything that was happening to him. And quite affected by the proximity of Justin. Much more now, that he had his blue eyes on him. The blond grimaced in disbelief.


"Come on! Don’t play hard. I don’t buy it. After you stayed up last night until 2 wrapping Heather’s bicycle. Do you think I'm going to believe that you don’t want to see her face when she see it? If you are more excited than her.” Justin said mockingly, and took Brian's hand, pulling him. "Come on, big guy. I'll let you open your gift right after Heather.” Brian let Justin pull him until he was standing next to the bed. He realized then that he was also wearing shorts, although he remembered having gone to bed naked like always. But he had already stopped caring about all this because he had decided it had to be a dream.


He saw another pair of sweatpants at the foot of the bed and put them on without thinking, deducting it would be "his". He also opened a drawer in the nightstand beside the bed, where as he expected, there were shirts. He put one on, and followed Justin, who had already left the bedroom, like a zombie. Of course, a dream, damn weird, but aren’t all dreams weird? Sure the contract so important that he would sign, the shock by the liquor store robbery, and seeing again Justin’s name in the magazine, must be the cause of those peculiar images in his brain.


He followed the blond, carrying the baby in his arms, down a staircase and into a cozy living room. The house was simple, but looked comfortable. It reminded him of the girls’ house in Pittsburg in some respects. In the living room, behind a beige sofa with colorful cushions, was a Christmas tree of considerable size, fully decorated. Under the tree, were numerous packages of different sizes.


The little girl was standing in front of the tree, shifting nervous and impatient. When everyone was in front of the tree, Justin spoke and pointing at the bulky package, whose paper wrapper could barely conceal what it contained, he said:


"Look, Heather. What a big package, and has your name! What could it be?” The blond put great theatricality in his words, which seemed to charm the girl, who began to excitedly jump up and down.


"The bike, the bike!" She repeated delighted.


"Umm do you think? Well, you have to open it.” And the little girl rushed happy to unwrap her gift. Justin, who had laid the baby on the carpet, took Brian's arm and squeezed it, looking at him with an expression that the brunet couldn’t decipher, but he seemed happy judging by his smile. When the bike was exposed, Heather begun to ride it around the couch, ringing cheerful the bell, and screaming:


"Thank you, daddies! It's just what I wanted.” Brian looked at Justin then tongue in cheek, and casually said:


"Shouldn’t she thank Santa?" Justin gave him a conspiratorial nudge and said, smiling.


"I'm afraid she already knows, Brian. She's very smart, and doesn’t like mince words. The way things are, no bullshit. You can tell she's your daughter.” Brian then look at the girl again. How old would she be: 6, 7 tops? Brian had noticed that she had a couple of gaps between her teeth, and felt something akin to pride. How absurd! This is all a dream. Nothing is real, remember? He said to himself. "Your turn." Justin sing-sang. "Come on, open one of your gifts." What the hell! Follow this absurd game wouldn’t kill him. He approached the tree, and then saw a package with his name. He looked at Justin, who had another package in his hands, and sat on the floor, just behind the baby, who was between his legs. The blond waved Brian to also sit down, and he did. "Heather, honey. The bicycle is for playing outside. Here you'll only break something.” Justin admonished the girl in the same firm but sweet tone he had used in the bedroom.


"Fiiine. Okay.” She answered reluctantly. But left the bike resting on the back of the sofa, and sat on the floor beside them. "Come on, Daddy-Brian! Open your present!” She cheered up again seeing the package that Brian had in his hand. The brunet stayed some more time impassive with vacant eyes. With 2 pairs of eyes on him, proceeded to open the package. It was a dark blue scarf and very soft. He froze momentarily again, but Justin took the scarf from his hands, and wrapped it around his neck.


"Ummm, you look great." The blond said smiling. Without notice, he planted a loud kiss on Brian’s lips. God, if this was just a dream, why Justin's lips had felt so real? A flood of memories washed over him. There weren’t few the kisses from those lips during those early months in Pittsburg. "Well, now it's your turn, Jimmy. What do you say? Should we open your gift?” Justin told the baby who wouldn’t stop chattering, and began to tear the glossy paper. That elicited a wave of enthusiastic laughter from the baby with big blue eyes. Justin then extracted a toy locomotive with bright colors, and put it on the floor in front of Jimmy, who seemed completely happy squeezing the bright green paper. But whose attention flew to the toy when it began to move producing the sound of a train while multiple lights came on.


Brian continued to attend these events like if he was seeing a movie. While Jimmy laughed happy, Heather got up and picked up another package, which she gave to Justin.


"Now you!" She said cheerful. Justin opened the package, which contained a pair of sunglasses, and put them on, saying:


"How do I look? Aren’t they really elegant?” He joked making poses. "I love them. It’s a great gift.” He added in a tone that seemed totally sincere. Brian couldn’t believe it. How could he be so enthusiastic? The glasses weren’t even of a famous label. This was probably by far the most absurd and nonsense dream he ever had. However, the surreal events hadn’t finished yet.


"Now we have to open Rocky’s gift." Heather said excitedly, and the dog barked as if he understood her words.


"How Come? The dog has gifts too?” He couldn’t help asking sarcastically.


"Well. He is part of the family, right?” Justin replied amused. Heather unwrapped the gift that was a bright red collar. "Wow, Rocky. You'll be the cutest dog in the neighborhood.” Justin continued joking. Then he looked at Brian still smiling, and said. "Which reminds me, that he hasn’t been out yet today. Come on, while I make breakfast.” Brian looked at him incredulously.


"You're not suggesting that I..." He said pointing to the animal, who approached him and started barking and jumping around.


"What’s with you today, Brian? Haven’t you sleep well? You're grumpier than usual. Hurry up or we’ll have an 'accident'.” Justin said nodding at the dog, as he took the baby, and began to leave the living room. "Oh, and bundle up! It's snowing!” Brian stared in disbelief at the dog, who responded by barking and wagging his tail happily. If this was his dream, how is that instead of catching Justin and fucking him until he lost consciousness, he had to walk out with a fleabag? He followed the animal, running toward the front door. Beside it was a closet, where, as supposed, he found the leash of the dog and his shoes and coat. Well, it was a great compliment to call that vulgar garment a coat. Nothing to do with his Armani, of course.


"Hey. Let's set a few things straight.” Brian grumbled, looking at the dog, who was circling around him, still barking. "I'm not your owner, OK? Don’t expect anything from me. I don’t even like dogs.” So saying, he bent to put the leash. The animal stayed surprisingly still. But when Brian opened the door, he had no time even to think, as the furry beast pulled him almost making him fall. After a frantic race, trying not to slip on the snowy ground, the dog finally stopped next to a tree. "Damn fleabag! You almost killed me!” Brian shouted. Then, he looked around, and said in a whisper: "Great. Now I’m arguing with a fucking dog.” He shrugged his shoulders resignedly. This couldn’t last much longer. Soon, he would hear the alarm. And everything would be over. He looked back at the dog. Actually, it wasn’t fair to call him a fleabag, because he was a fine specimen of golden retriever. And his coat looked very clean.


When he returned home, after the humiliation of having to pick up dog poop, the family was gathered in the kitchen.


"Just in time. The coffee is hot, and toast are ready.” Justin said in his usual lively tone. He sat at the table, introducing tablespoons of something soft in Jimmy’s mouth, who was sitting in his highchair. Heather sat in front of him, eating cereals. As he removed the leash, Rocky ran to a corner of the kitchen where Brian supposed, would be his breakfast.


"I'm not hungry." He growled.


"Okay. I didn’t expect you to eat more than your usual toast. But have at least some coffee. I have the impression that you need caffeine. So maybe, your mood will improve. And you’ll remember that it's Christmas.” Justin said sarcastically. Many memories had surfaced inside Brian seeing him again. Now he also recalled how insolent and irritating the little twat could be. However, in the street he had decided to let everything go, waiting for the alarm clock. He washed his hands in the sink. And without another word, he sat down at the table.


"You're right, a coffee will do me good." And he proceeded to serve himself a cup. He took a sip and felt calmer. The coffee was very good. But he just stayed there, without a word, while Justin and Heather were immersed in a nonsense conversation to him, and Jimmy beat with a spoon everything in his reach, attacking Brian’s nerves. At one point, Justin left the table to get something from a cabinet, and Jimmy hit squarely on the plate in front of him, blowing porridge in all directions, especially Brian’s face and chest. "Damn! Fuck!” Brian shouted angrily, rising from his chair. Suddenly, silence fell. And three pairs of eyes stared appalled at him. Brian glanced at their faces: Jimmy seemed about to break crying, Justin had an unreadable expression, and Heather seemed to look at him like a scientist would look at a rare specimen under the microscope.


With that, he left the kitchen. He didn’t know where to go. Well, yes, first to take a shower. He went to the master bedroom. Like he expected, the bathroom had nothing to do with his luxurious one in his penthouse. It was spacious and clean, but simplicity reigned. Hygiene products were of good quality, although not the expensive cosmetics that he was used to. It was clear that he was dreaming of an apparent life together with Justin (concept that made him shudder from head to toe at the mere thought), but why the hell were they so poor?


He left the bathroom with a towel around his waist. He looked at the bed. Everything had started there. What if he went back to sleep? Maybe when he wake up, everything would be back to normal. He wasn’t aware of falling asleep, but someone shook him gently. He opened his eyes. Oh no, nothing had changed. He was still in the strange nightmare, and Justin was looking at him with condescension.


"Just like I said, sleeplessness. If you weren’t such a workaholic, you wouldn’t be so grumpy. However, I’m afraid that your nap is over. We have to get going or we'll be late for dinner at Debbie’s.” The blond said smiling.


"D ... Debbie's. We are in Pittsburgh!"


"Unless there has been a sudden earthquake of gigantic proportions overnight, that's where we live, yes." Justin teased. "Come on, get dressed and go take care of getting Jimmy dressed while I shower. That way, you can show your kids that you don’t hate them despite your little scene before in the kitchen, and that you even didn’t stay to finish open presents. I had to make out all kinds of excuses. You owe me, big guy.” Justin continued joking, and went into the bathroom. Again something was wrong here. He should follow the adult blond, not deal with the baby. And yet...


He opened the closet and although expecting it, he felt however surprised. There was not the slightest possibility that those clothes were his. If there were only 3 suits! And of course, they weren’t Armani How could anyone survive with only 3 suits? This proved it. Everything was a fucking nightmare. But, when was he finally going to wake up? He got a brown sweater and black jeans that looked new, and headed for the bedroom where he supposed were the children. Heather was already dressed and groomed, and Jimmy was sitting in his crib cheerful, chattering and clapping his tiny hands. There was no denying he was a happy child,


On a chest of drawers, he saw a series of neatly folded clothes that would be the child's clothing. Carefully, he lifted him. God, he hadn’t had a baby in his arms since Gus. It felt strange, but strove to divert his thoughts. The smiling blond baby looked at him with very attentive blue eyes. Then, Brian felt he needed a diaper change. Great. Could this nightmare get worse? He held the child gently on the table attached to the crib, and looked around. The things necessary to change the baby shouldn’t be far. Then he noticed that Heather hadn’t taken her eyes off him for a moment. She was sitting on her bed, and still had the same expression as in the kitchen.


"What?" Brian barked, unable to bear her gaze between accusing and fearful.


"You're not my daddy-Brian, right?" More than a question, it was a statement full of innocent distress. Some little girl. Justin had said she was smart... well, and that she was his biological daughter. Brian looked at her closely. Her hair, now perfectly combed and tied with a golden diadem was a beautiful brown shade, slightly lighter than Brian’s, but the eyes... Brian had no doubt. They were large, expressive and hazel. It was like looking into a mirror. And if as the blond said, Heather had also inherited his love of truth, he had to keep up.


"You're very clever. You've caught me. I'm not your dad.”


"Are there others like you coming over to impersonate my family, and kill us all?"


"What the hell...? I haven’t killed anyone. You have too much imagination.” Like someone who I know, Brian thought. Perhaps little Heather spent too much time with Mikey.


"Well. Then, where's my daddy-Brian?" She asked gravely.


"I don’t know, OK? I have no idea what's going on. As for me, none of this is real."


"When will he be back?"


"I just told you. I didn’t... Anyway. This makes no sense.” As he spoke, Brian had been attending to the baby, automatically. It's funny how what he learned with Gus returned to his mind without effort. Now Jimmy was clean, and Brian was about to put him a fresh diaper. But again he started to look around.


"If I help you, and don’t tell anyone who you are, you promise that you won’t hurt my daddy?" Again, Brian felt a sort of pride... It was obvious that Heather was frightened by something she didn’t understand, but instinctively she wanted to protect her father.


"Listen, Heather. That’s your name, right?" She nodded. "Like I said, I don’t understand what is going on. But I promise that if it is in my hand, no one will hurt your dad."


"Diapers are in that closet there. And... hurry up!” Heather said pointing to a cabinet. Just when Brian turned his head, Jimmy began to urinate, and again, he reached right Brian’s face. The blond little boy started laughing and cheering his achievement. Brian also heard Heather’s laughter. "I warned you. Jimmy always does that, if you don’t put the diaper right away.” The little girl said writhing in laughter.


Brian managed to finish dressing the naughty blondie. And after changing his sweater, the family finally managed to be in the car. In the small garage, there were two vehicles. They went to a small van that Brian concluded, would be Justin’s. Not only because the blond took the wheel, but because it wasn’t possible for him to drive such a contraption. However, the other car didn’t look very promising either. Oh, how he missed his Ferrari. Was he never going to wake up from this nightmare? The two children were in the back seat in their seats, and immediately began to chatter. Brian was amazed, but it seemed that Heather could understand little Jimmy’s unintelligible jargon.


As they passed a few streets, Brian began to be familiar with the area. He knew this neighborhood or a very similar one. In fact, he thought, it was the same area of the city where the Taylors used to live. That made him look at Justin, who was wearing a red sweater that suited him very much. After a few minutes, the blond turned his face smiling.


"What? Have I shaving cream in my face, or something? Why are you looking at me like that?"


"You're beautiful." Brian didn’t put any emotion into those words. He uttered the phrase as if speaking about the weather. However Justin gave him a radiant smile. And incredibly, he fucking blushed! But Brian didn’t have much time to ponder this fact, as the children’s innocent conversation suddenly caught his attention.


"You'll see Jimmy. At grandma Debbie’s, is the whole family. Gus too. Do you remember Gus? He is our big brother, but lives in Canada.” Heather was saying.


"He wouldn’t remember, sweetheart, Gus came in summer. And five months is a very long time for a 1 year old baby.” Justin said. "But surely he’s going to be as happy to see Gus as we all, right, Brian?"


"Huh?" Was all Brian managed to articulate. This nightmare wasn’t only strange, but also cruel.


"Come on, Brian. You don’t need to pretend in front of me. I promise I won’t ruin your reputation as a tough and unemotional guy, telling your preteen son how much you miss him.” They were there already. The neighborhood where the Novotny’s residence was hadn’t changed at all. As Justin parked, Heather got rid of her attachments, and ran toward the house. Again, Brian felt paralyzed, as if his legs were made of cardboard. Without being fully aware of what he was doing, he followed Justin, who handed him a canvas bag, and picked up Jimmy of his baby seat.


When they crossed the street and climbed the porch steps, Heather was already in front of the red squeaky door, ringing the doorbell. The door opened, and Brian felt as if a huge force crushed him against the ground. He heard distant voices, but they must be right there. He couldn’t move. The thought of going into that house, and seeing those people...  Seeing Gus! It gave him such distress, that he was completely unable to breathe. He was choking.


"Brian?" Justin's alarmed voice sounded miles away.


"No, no, no..." Brian repeated, struggling to breathe. "It's not real. Nothing is real."


"Brian. What’s happening to you? Is your heart?” Justin was by his side. The blond wasn’t holding Jimmy anymore. His eyes, round with astonishment and concern. "Damn it. Hold on! I’m taking you to the hospital!” Justin took his arm to guide him towards the car.


"I don’t need a fucking hospital! I just want my life back.” Brian shouted angrily. No sign of choking.


"Calm down guys. It’s not a heart attack. Debbie would you mind watching the children? I'll come to pick them up later."


"Sure, Sunshine. But are you sure that everything’s fine?" Brian didn’t want to look, but Debbie's voice sounded so real.


"Yes, Debbie. Don’t worry. Brian works too much. You know him.” By that time, Brian was back in the car, and sat in the passenger seat, cowering like a child who refuses to go into the doctor's office. When Justin got in the car, he again struggled to breathe. "Calm down, Brian. Everything will be alright. Look at me. Breathe with me... That's it. I'll take you home. Keep breathing... Good, like this... slowly. Think of nothing..."


Justin continued talking to him and encouraging him to breathe deeply the rest of the way. His words had such a calming effect. Brian would have continued listening to him, and following his instructions all day. He hardly noticed when Justin helped him into the house, took off his coat and shoes, and made him sit on the couch. Brian closed his eyes for a moment, but suddenly opened them when he heard a voice.


"God, Brian, Justin is right. You're a real drama-queen!" He couldn’t believe his eyes. But in front of him was the thief of the liquor store, looking at him quizzically.


"You!" He exclaimed in a voice too sharp. "How did you get in…?" He stopped and looked apprehensive at Justin who was going to the kitchen.


"Don’t worry. He can’t hear us."


"What the hell...? This is not a dream, right?” The other man shook his head. "If it's a joke, is not fucking funny."


"It’s no joke either. And I’m surprised that someone as intelligent as you hasn’t found out already. If you’d ever pay attention to what's around you, other than what has to do with your business or the guys you want to fuck, you would have realized something was wrong in the liquor store."


"Well, what the hell is all this?"


"See how you’re not paying attention? I already told you. You're a good man. But you don’t see it because you look in the wrong direction."


"Fuck me. Don’t tell you're the ghost of Christmas past, future or whatever the fuck. Well, you're wasting your time. I don’t believe in that shit. So, please, give me back my life because I have a major contract that should be signed already.”


"I will overlook the serious insult to my professional category, confusing me with some vulgar ghost, because I understand that you are mean like that. But I’m afraid that I can’t please you."


"Who the fuck are you then?"


"You can call me Angel."


"You're kidding, right? If I don’t believe in fairy tales, even less on religious nonsense. My mom took care of it."


"I know perfectly, Brian. I know you very well. But you've done it again. You care who or what I am instead of going to what really matters. The reason for this."


"That is..."


"Well, like I said, you deserve a reward for your behavior. The reward is the ability to correct mistakes. This gift that is given to you is not common, Brian. I hope you don’t disappoint me. I bet for you."


"What?" Brian was completely floored.


"Eric was sure you wouldn’t do anything, that you would look the other way..."




"You know, in the liquor store... Grandpa. Like I said, he was sure you wouldn’t do anything, calling the police, maybe. But I bet for you. I knew that you would protect the old man, and I was right. But I hope you don’t fail me now. You still aren’t asking the right questions.” Brian looked at him for a while, very seriously.


"Why am I here?" Angel smiled.


"You're here because there is something very important you need to understand. You were always a brilliant student, but there is a lesson you must still learn. Remember that very few are granted this opportunity. Oh, Justin is coming back. I must go.” And with that, he vanished.

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