Justin's POV

"I'm just saying that you need to sleep too, at some point," Daphne muttered, stomping down the stairs behind me.

"Not when I have this huge event in only a few days and one of my best pieces was…" I trailed off, biting my cheek not to say something I'd regret.

"It was you who brought him in. The least you could have done is lock your art room or simply close the door. I bet he can't reach the door handle," she said in a matter-of-fact voice.

I groaned, stopping on the first step of the landing. "Stop, okay? I'm not mad at a…dog. Fuck, Daphne! It's my fault for being paranoid and not sending my paintings beforehand, only a couple days before the show."

"So you're not blaming the poor puppy?"

"No." I sighed, resuming my descending. "Anyway, I'm on my way to meet with Liam and beg him to push the opening to next weekend. He'll probably cut my balls."

"Or…you go without that piece," she reasoned.

"That's the center piece. Damn. Why did Cupcake have to claw at the canvas then pee on it? Why did I put it on the floor?" I groaned, rubbing my forehead. I was so tired. Focusing on painting something close to a masterpiece, while running on coffee and two hours of sleep, didn't work. Not at all.

"Stop worrying. Just go and tell Liam the truth, and that next time you'll bring only great paintings like the one ruined."

"There won't be a next time! Daph, he saw that one. That's what made him give me his card, an invitation to dinner and an opening at the gallery. And I fucked up."

We stepped outside our building into the chilling winter air. I tugged the zipper of my jacket all the way up then fastened the scarf around my neck.

"You're coming back later?" she asked as we reached the corner of the street.

"I'm not going to sleep at the gallery," I joked. "Why?" I added suspiciously. She only checked if I returned before nightfall when she wasn't going to make it.

"We don't want the puppy alone for too long, right?"

"Definitely not." I shuddered. I really didn't need another accident. "You're not coming back tonight?"

"If the date goes well, then definitely not." She beamed at me, making me laugh.

I remembered how I ended up with her here in the big New York City. The day I left, I went to say goodbye, and she could tell I was upset, so when I said without thinking "Come with me" she had rushed upstairs and returned half an hour later with her clothes packed. I had promised her parents to take care of her, and we were off. It was still like a dream in my head, how her parents had accepted for her to leave with me to New York. But then again they knew me and trusted me.

When we had arrived, I intended to check in a hotel for a few days until we sorted the living arrangements, but the contact person said I already had a place rented. That was how we ended up in the studio we lived in now.

"Colton?" I checked, though I already knew the answer from her huge smile. It still didn't cease to surprise me how she had run into an old high school classmate a while ago and they hit it off.

I even had the misfortune of walking in on them making out on the couch. He seemed to have grown up from the jock he used to be in high school.

"So see you tomorrow." She winked at me.

"Yeah, right. Have fun." I kissed her cheek and with a wave over my shoulder, I walked toward the gallery.

Luckily it wasn't that far away from where we lived. After five years in this city and I still got lost.

My meeting with Liam went better than expected. He was actually going to call and ask me if it was alright to push the opening by a few days. I left his office feeling a lot better. I had another whole week to redo my ruined painting.

As I walked down the street, I thought of what I could do tonight. On such nights, when Daphne spent the night with her boyfriend, I missed Brian more than I ever thought possible. No matter how much I tried to get over our relationship, it didn't work.

Every time I went out and hooked up with someone, I tried not to get attached. Without actually meaning to, I was becoming a younger, blonder version of Brian with the way I treated people I met in clubs, the way I protected my heart. I feared allowing anyone close because of our failed relationship and how it hurt when I left. It had always hurt. Even when we were together, he treated me like I didn't mean anything to him, and when he got the courage to show me, it was for all the wrong reasons. I had never meant to change him; I only wanted him to love me.

But after pushing away every guy I fucked, I always wondered if leaving Brian was the right decision. We could have been happy. He was opening up to me, more than ever. Heck, he said the magic words, he bought us a house and the most important part—he proposed. That was huge, coming from the guy who never believed in commitment.

Cutting off all communication and every road that led to Brian hadn't helped one bit. My mother never mentioned him in our phone calls, and the odd call from Debbie, Emmett or even Michael on my birthday and at Christmas was short and awkward as hell. I always itched to ask them about Brian but never got the courage, and they didn't bring him in discussion. It would be nice to know if he was happy at least. I really hoped he was, not sulking around, stuck in the past—like me. I wished I could get over him, but that wasn't possible, not when I loved him so much.

Distracted by the turn of events at the gallery and lost in my thoughts, I wasn't exactly paying attention to where I was walking so when I crashed into someone, I was surprised it happened. His hand reached out to steady me as I nearly fell on my ass.

"Sorry. I'm sorry," I apologized quickly, afraid to even peek at the person. He looked dressed smart, and I was too embarrassed to meet his eyes. But I couldn't help notice a strain on his expensive beige coat. Fuck I spilled his coffee.

When he didn't say anything, probably angry at me having ruined his expensive coat, I chanced a look at his face.

What a contrast. Business men usually had clean, shaved faces…not beards. His brown eyes looked tired and slightly familiar. I couldn't place where I'd seen that glint before.

He kept opening and closing his mouth, as I fished for a paper tissue in my pocket.

"Here. I'm sorry," I repeated, dabbing at his brown coat.

His hand wrapped around my wrist and I froze. My eyes met his again and my mouth dried. I knew that touch oh-so-well.

"It's just a coat, Sunshine." Brian gave me a reassuring smile.

Fuck.

My hands started shaking. Despite my promise to him, we never talked or met after I fled from Pittsburgh. I'd tried to imagine this very moment thousands of times, but it was never like this.

"Brian," I croaked out. What's wrong with me? The second he appears, I lose control over my body.

"Justin," he said in his soft, warm voice. "How have you been?"

I swallowed thickly, walking a few feet away, dragging him by the sleeve so we wouldn't get bumped by the people milling the busy street.

"I'm good. Busy. Painting." I shrugged. "You?"

He smiled widely. "Much better now."

I could feel a blush spreading down my neck. "So…you're here?" I asked curiously.

"I'm on a business trip. I have three meetings next week, but decided to come early and enjoy the city. I even hoped to bump into you."

"Not quite so literally, I hope." I laughed, relaxing. It was always easy to be around him.

Brian looked at the stain on his coat. "Definitely not." He returned his eyes to mine. "You're free?"

"Yes," I answered quickly, not thinking twice. I'd take whatever time I got with him, even if it would hurt once he returned to Pittsburgh. I'd missed him too much, thought of him constantly to say no to this chance.

"Great. Know any good place?"

"A few. One is a few blocks away. Where are you staying?" I wondered.

He scrunched his nose. "Cynthia booked me a room at Pennsylvania. She said it's near Time Square, and I have Metro stations nearby."

"Not a good hotel?" I asked, not knowing anything about accommodation. I was lucky to have the apartment served to me.

"Not exactly. I think she chose it because it was cheaper. Anyway, I can always take a cab back. I'm here for a few hours and I think I'm already lost," he said amused.

"You definitely are. I have no idea how much you walked, but you're in Brooklyn…from Times Square. You crossed the bridge." I laughed at his look.

"I did, but only because I asked for directions to Starbucks and I think the old man pointed me in the wrong direction."

"I bet you passed many Starbucks places on your way here."

"Or I wasn't paying attention. Anyway, I'm glad I got lost."

I bit my lip, and unable to hold back anymore I threw my arms around his neck. "I missed you," I whispered in his ear.

He squeezed me tightly, making tears spring into my eyes. Being there in his arms once again almost made the last few years disappear. Brian rubbed my back, placing his cheek on top of my head. It felt surreal to be near him after all this time.

Our reunion was interrupted by the loud ringtone of my phone. I pulled back, apologizing and answering.

"What, Nick?" I muttered.

"You're not home?"

"What gave it away?" I asked sarcastically.

"Your puppy is barking like crazy. The old lady from second floor came to me to ask what was going on."

"Oh, fuck! I forgot about him. Again." I slapped my forehead. "I'll be home soon. Thanks."

"Anytime. Bye."

We hung up and I gave Brian a nervous smile. "Uh, I'm really sorry but I can't show you around now. Cupcake needs me, he's all alone."

"Cupcake?" he echoed me, looking mildly surprised and disgusted at the same time.

"Yeah, I had the genius idea to bring in a stray puppy last month."

He relaxed; I could only guess he thought Cupcake was the nickname of my boyfriend.

"But if you don't mind, you can come with me. I have beer." I wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet.

"Who's Nick?"

I couldn't help but chuckle. "My neighbor. If you're worried about a boyfriend, don't. I'm all for no strings attached. I learned from the master." I winked, reaching for his hand. All strings attached when it comes to you, though, I added in my head. "Come on. We should stop by the pet store too."

Brian glanced at our clasped hands, before squeezing it. "Lead the way, Justin."

After a while, he started chuckling and I gave him a confused look. "So you got a puppy?"

I pursed my lips. "So you grew a beard?"

He grinned widely, wrapping an arm around me. "It just happened."

"You ran out of shaving cream?"

"Ran out of time. I'm trying to expand my areas of business. I recently got into cosmetics, museum exhibitions and Linz recommended me to the new owner of the gallery in Pittsburgh. Juggling between jobs, trying to meet my friends at least twice a week and catch some sleep…there's little time for anything else—even shaving."

"Whoa!" I gaped at him. He was working too much, just as I remembered, but he always made time for fun. "No Babylon?"

"It's not as much fun when I own the place. Add that to the pile of my troubles."

"It must be difficult," I noted.

"I'm coping. I leave early morning and return late at night, I wouldn't make that long drive more than twice a day."

"What long drive?" He lived fairly close to his work place, if I remembered correctly.

"Oh, you don't know? Your mom didn't tell you? I moved into the new house a month after you left."

"I had no idea. I thought you sold it."

"I had already bought it, besides Jenny had found me someone that wanted my loft. It was time to move away—to act like an adult."

If I'd known… He looked so sad speaking of the events that had occurred after I left.

"Yeah, but you're alone there…in that big house," I protested, feeling responsible for his solitary lifestyle.

"Who said I'm alone?" Brian teased, bringing me closer to his side.

"I assumed…" Wrong. He probably brought his nightly tricks home, though considering his earlier confession it resulted there was no time for that.

"You got a puppy. I got a cat. She keeps the sofa warm so I can crash there after a long day at work."

I couldn't help but laugh. The Brian I knew would have brought a man to keep him warm at night. This new adult version of him was amusing, but also heartbreaking from the lack of social life.

"I thought you were anti-pets."

"People change." He shrugged.

"We're here," I said, self-conscious at the state the old building was in. "I'm on the sixth floor. We're taking the stairs." I led the way inside.

"I know you hate me, but not that much."

"The elevator never works. And I don't hate you. I can't. You know that, Brian."

We climbed in silence, saving out breaths. When we reached my floor, I saw Nick in front of my door, looking worried.

"You made it! He's been barking like crazy."

"I heard him on the way up. Dunno what's up with him. I'll take him out for a walk. Thanks for talking to the neighbors." I pulled my keys out.

"Don't worry." He waved his hand around, finally noticing I had company. "I see you're alone tonight."

Yes. At last, no Daphne. Grinning, I answered him, "Yep. I bumped into an old friend. I'm taking advantage of the peace and quiet."

"I'll tell Daphne!" Nick joked.

"You wouldn't!" She'd be so upset and take it personally.

"Later!" He went into his apartment, on the other end of the hallway.

"You're living with Daphne?" Brian sounded shocked.

"Yeah. We split the rent." I unlocked the door and was immediately assaulted by Cupcake. He jumped at my feet, yapping loudly. "Make yourself at home. I'll take him out. Beer's in the fridge."

Once Brian was inside the apartment, I grabbed the leash, strapped it on the puppy's collar and we were off.

Fifteen minutes later we were back and Cupcake was much calmer. I guessed he needed to run around for a while and pee at every tree he found on the way.

I found Brian in my art room, staring at the work-in-progress. His fingers were wrapped around the neck of a bottle of Beck's.

"This is truly beautiful, Justin."

"You should see the original." I pointed to the corner of the room. "I don't usually like my work, but this one…" I walked to the painting and stared at the ruined canvas.

"Is that a beer strain?"

"Try pee strain," I grumbled.

He smiled, nudging my ribs. "I thought you outgrew that phase."

"Ha fucking ha. The pup peed on it after clawing at the cloth, but it's all in the past."

We moved to the living room and the place I usually slept. Daph had the other room. We sat on the couch, exchanging stories. He updated me on the gang's life, on Mom and Molly who apparently he met every Saturday—I'd have to talk with Mom about that. How could she keep such a secret? She never mentioned seeing Brian.

He also told me that Linz and Mel had decided to spend the upcoming Valentine's Day in Paris, so they were shipping the kids to their respective dads. The thought of spending a whole week alone with Gus seemed to terrify him.

"I'll come help," I offered. It shouldn't be that difficult. If my math was good, Gus was about nine years old.

"You'd do that for me?"

"For Gus. I don't want you arrested for child neglect. Not even Mel could save you."

"Why, Justin, your faith in me is astounding. I'd never harm Sonny Boy."

"Not intentionally, no. Anyway, I have to come back. I need to talk to…what's his name…the new manager of the gallery back home. They're interested in a show."

"Thank you." He leaned closer, and I turned my head so his lips landed on mine instead of my cheek. I had no idea why I did it.

I was instantly transported back in the past. We put our beers away before I straddled his hips, took his face between my hands and kissed him furiously. I poured every feeling I had accumulated over the past five years—anger, joy, sadness, love, despair, shame at my foolishness.

He kissed me back, just as passionately, making sounds deep in his throat. They went straight to my groin.

"Justin," he murmured against my lips, smoothing my hair out of my eyes, "Oh, Justin. How I've missed you, Sunshine."

I couldn't help but smile at the old nickname. No one had called me that ever since I left Pittsburgh. "Me too, Brian. I'm so sorry for not keeping my promise."

"I'm willing to forget the last five agonizing years if you are. We can start all over again. Please say yes."

Baring his heart to me was so unlike him. He truly meant what he said. "You still want me?"

Brian looked intensely into my eyes. "I love you. Always have."

He still loved me, and God help me I'd never stopped loving him.

An embarrassing choking sound left my mouth, making me bury my face into his neck as tears trickled down my cheeks. He smelled of home, which made me cry harder.

"I love you too, Brian," I managed to say into his neck.

He hugged me tightly, rocking me through my sobs as if I was a small child.

"Where do you sleep? I want to put you to bed and make you some tea."

That was so sweet of him, but I couldn't form words.

"You need to calm down," Brian said soothingly, kissing my head, his hand rubbing up and down my back.

I took a deep, cleansing breath of his scent before pulling away enough to look at him. "I sleep here, on the couch. It's a pull-out."

He helped me unfold it, then made me stay put while he went to make tea. No one had made tea for me, besides Mom when I was sick, but that was ages ago.

After he returned to my side, we both snuggled under the blanket and watched TV, drinking tea. I realized in that moment how much Brian had changed—and it was all because of me. For me. He was a better person because he was determined to show me how much he loved me. Even back then, I should have known why he was acting out of character—it was all for me.

"I'm such an idiot," I muttered under my breath.

"Don't beat yourself up. We weren't ready for that step."

"Do you still have them?" I asked after a while.

"Have what?"

"The rings?"

Brian whipped his head around to gape at me. He nodded as he undid the top three buttons of his shirt. I saw a simple necklace lying against his chest, but when he pulled it out of his shirt, my heart stopped. Both rings were dangling off the chain.

"I always wear it." He gave me a small smile.

"Can I have mine?" I whispered, my mouth going dry.

"No." He smirked. "I want to do it the right way."

"No church will marry us."

"I meant this." He slid off the couch, kneeling at my feet. "Marry me, Justin."

"Yes," I gasped out, tackling him down and kissing him all over the face.

It was so surreal what was happening, but I wasn't going to ruin my chances again. Career be damned. Brian was all I needed to make me whole and happy.

He slipped one of the rings on my finger, making goose bumps appear on my skin, and then I put the other ring on his finger. We grinned liked two idiots, just staring at each other. Until the cold floor made us move to my bed.

Under the covers, we got reacquainted with the other's body. His was similar to what I remembered, maybe not as toned as he used to be from the lack of time to exercise, but mine had changed. My biceps were bulging, my chest was well-defined and I was steadily working my way to a four-pack.

Brian noticed all the changes and took extra time exploring my chest and abdomen before pulling my pants and underwear off. I moaned in relief when his lips wrapped around my erection. It's been weeks since my last escapade in the backroom of a club.

He teased me for endless minutes, while I ran my hands over his back and arms.

Suddenly, he sat on his knees, unbuckling his belt then unzipping his pants and taking them off.

"Do you have anything?"

"Shit!" I cursed my lack of judgment. On my way to the bathroom to grab lube and condoms, I teased him. "What, Brian Kinney not prepared?"

"It happens a lot these days."

"Ah, poor baby," I cooed at him, tossing the bottle of lube at him. "Work your magic."

Smirking, he flipped me on my chest before giving me a strong sense of dejà-vu as he kissed down my spine. "Do you like rimming?"

So it wasn't my imagination. "Love it—now that I know what it means," I answered cheekily.

"Hmmm. Something to explore later." He eased a lubed finger in my ass, making me hiss, closing my eyes.

"Easy…" I had no idea how to tell him I'd never had anyone there…besides him.

When he stopped, I glanced over my shoulder to meet his stunned face.

"No one else?"

"No." I shook my head, biting my lower lip.

"Oh, Justin!" Brian covered my body with his, devouring my mouth.

My confession turned him even sweeter than before. I found myself on my back as he slowly made love to me, never breaking eye-contact.

My lids kept shutting in pleasure but I forced them open; to stare at the most beautiful hazel eyes on the earth—so soulful, honest and loving.

I was home again, and I wasn't leaving this time.