Brian had an unsettling feeling from the moment he came and saw Justin looking at him. It stayed with him the first few minutes they basked in their post-coital haze in bed and throughout the hot shower they shared moments after. It was still with him the next morning when he awoke in his empty bed. Brian had a firm life philosophy of never having regrets but the feeling felt suspiciously like guilt. Guilt that he had crossed a line with Justin knowing he would want more regardless of what he said. It was the same feeling he always had after he gave Michael a glimmer of hope that they could be more than friends someday.

Justin woke up and left his bed with a barely concealed limp that advertised his discomfort. He waddled into the kitchen ravenous with hunger and was surprised to find Daphne fixing breakfast. "Hey" he offered, kissing her cheek. "Smells good"

"Thanks, I thought you might still be with Brian" she said genuinely surprised to see him.

"I left his place around three. You should see it Daphne, it's amazing."

"I guess you got what you wanted then." Daphne said with only a hint of irritation. She was trying to keep a supportive front but deep down she had a bad feeling. Justin was a different person around Brian last night. He had never looked at Eric the way he looked at Brian, like he wanted to crawl inside him and go to sleep. She was worried about her friend falling too hard, too fast.

Justin nodded, "and then some. It was the best sex I have ever had. He was amazing."

Daphne forced a smile and plated their breakfast, sharing hers with Justin since she had made more than enough for both. She handed him a plate and moved to the table.

Justin recognized Daphne's quiet demeanor as her "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" front and visibly stewed at her poor reaction. He frowned to show his disappointment. "C'mon I need you Daphne" he said, "I'm confused".

Daphne sighed, "All right, talk it out then. I will do my best to be objective."

"So everything was going great, we went dancing at this club. Then he wanted to go in the back where like anything goes. I mean guys just fucking everywhere."

"Ewww" Daphne said wrinkling her nose. "People still do that? I don't even want to think of what that floor is covered in. I hope you didn't go. That is so beneath you."

"Daphne, you're not helping" Justin frowned again.

She gave him an apologetic look that told him to continue. "…So I told him I wasn't into that and he kind of accused me of being a cock-tease because, I mean, you should have seen the way we danced. Jaws were dropping; he just oozes sex appeal. One touch and I would have come in my pants."

Daphne nodded in acknowledgement and moved her hand in a circular motion to encourage him to speed up the story. She had witnessed the sexual chemistry first hand at dinner and imagined it would be that much more intense with the dancing and music.

"Well I finally convinced him I was only after sex too and he brought me back to his place and, like I said, the sex was amazing. Then we showered together and I went to get dressed, like you know, not wanting to presume he wanted me to stay the night." Justin said excitedly.

"Good plan" Daphne agreed with an approving nod.

"Yeah, I thought so too, except then he pulls me to the bed half-dressed and just runs his hands all through my wet hair and stares at me for like the longest time. Then he kissed me. Not a foreplay kind of kiss either but a real kiss like a your-the-only-one-I-want kind of kiss. So, of course, I wanted to stay in his bed and we started to go at it again. Then it happened…"

"What?" Daphne asked completely engaged in his story.

"Well I was lying on top of him, kissing, and we were both naked and hard. He sort of spread his legs so I thought, you know, that he wanted to switch it up. So I grabbed a condom and started putting it on and then, I'm not kidding, he freaked the fuck out."

"Oh my God" Daphne cried, genuinely mortified for Justin. "What did he say?"

"He told me again how, you know, it was just sex and he did this whole spiel about always being the top. It just was total Déjà vu. The same panic Eric had when I wanted him to top. I tried to say it was no big deal that I just misread his signal but I could tell he wanted me to leave, so I did."

"That's how you left it?" Daphne asked.

"Yeah, it was so bizarre. I mean I know most gay men prefer one way to another but to be so adamant that they are never willing to go the other way, ever! What are the odds I find two like that? I can't imagine being so ridged or at least just explaining, you know, just saying you're not versatile rather than having a meltdown over it."

"So what are you going to do?" Daphne asked concerned.

"I don't know. I am so attracted to him but this actually helped me because I don't think I want a real relationship with him now. I think it would be just as unsatisfying as with Eric; I don't want to always be the bottom any more than I always want to be the top. So it really can be just sex for me too. I think I will give him a few days and see if he comes to my show this Friday. Maybe we can just be friends who have amazing sex."

"I don't know Justin; you don't seem like the fuck buddy type." Daphne cautioned.

"Well I got involved with Eric so quickly, I'm not sure I know what type I am. Brian is probably the perfect guy to help me figure out what I need and he's not looking for anything other than a fuck so if Mr. Right does come along I won't be too distracted to see him." Justin rationalized.

Daphne took their empty plates into the kitchen unconvinced Justin's plan would work. She preferred detached sex much like Brian but Justin wasn't like her or him; he loved easily and had a natural instinct to take care of people. She just hoped he would come to his senses before he got too hurt.

Brian smoked a cigarette lying in bed recalling the events of the last evening. Things were going so well until Justin started dressing after their shower. Brian felt a sudden ache at the realization that Justin was planning to leave. Why didn't he just let him leave? It was rare he even let men shower before kicking them out, let alone spend the entire night. But Justin had washed him in the shower, ran his hands over his body in such a gentle way, not even sexual, just gentle and caring. It had felt so good to be taken care of in that way, so foreign to him to have someone just want to do something for him, no strings attached. He rested his head against the shower wall and let Justin wash him, even massaging the shampoo into his scalp; it was incredible and strangely erotic. So he pulled Justin down to stop him from leaving. He pulled him down on top of him and he kissed him, like no kiss he had ever given before. There was this fleeting moment when Brian thought he wanted Justin inside of him; wanted to let him continue what they started in the shower. It wasn't as if Brian had never bottomed before but it was rare and had been years and the desire had never been like that. It was never about letting another man take care of his needs, it was certainly never about being vulnerable and wanting to feel loved.

Brian pushed himself up out of his bed and forced himself to get moving for the day. Today was Sunday and his day normally consisted of getting the paper and reading it at the Liberty Diner over breakfast before heading to work for a few hours. He decided sticking with his routine would be the best way to avoid thinking about Justin and over-analyzing his reaction to last night. He dressed quickly and headed to the diner, picking up a paper along the way.

Once seated at his normal countertop chair, he flipped open the paper noticing Fiona and Daphne's credits under the articles and pictures for the first time. He waited for his coffee, something he was still unaccustomed to doing, since Deb had finally really retired at Carl's insistence. Now his honorary mom spent the warm months in Toronto close to her grandkids and the cold months in the Sunshine State with all the other retired snowbirds. Brian continued to read the Life and Style section he normally discarded pleased to see a small blurb about Justin's show even if it was just a mention of the Emerging Artist exhibit at the Gallery on Third, not his name in particular. He finished breakfast and headed to work starting his six-day work week on a high note.

Justin threw on his normal Sunday attire: old jeans and a football jersey; the clothes that he usually painted in because he didn't care if they were ruined. The football jersey was one of many he owned, all gifts from his father. Justin's dad had a tough time with his being gay; he only told his parents after he got the scholarship to PIFA and knew he didn't need their money for school. Prior to his parent's divorce, Justin tried to compensate for his father's disappointment by faking being a football fan. He figured it would be something to bond with his dad over. It at least gave them something to talk about. When he first introduced Eric to his parents; Justin recognized his dad had made strides partially because he mistakenly viewed Justin as the "man" in their relationship and that was easier for him to accept. Eric was not overly effeminate; Justin never saw or treated him as anything other than a man but he was more obviously gay than Justin and had a higher voice and softer qualities. He liked being taken care of and deferred to Justin on most decisions so he acknowledged his dad's perspective was probably in-line with most straight men of his dad's generation. He never felt the need to correct his dad's mistake by explaining that being gay meant there were two men in the relationship, no one was the "woman" and that was kind of the point.

Justin entered the small studio space he shared with Liam in the back of Josh's school. It was a god-send that they were able to find something like this after graduation since PIFA did not allow graduates to continue to use student space. Liam greeted him and asked him about his night with Brian. Justin spared him the details but raved about the sex since that was the part that Liam was most interested in anyways.

Justin worked on his latest painting and listened to Madonna's Ray of Light on his ipod for inspiration. He was, like most new artists, struggling to find a balance between work he was really inspired to do and work he thought had commercial appeal or might land him an agent. The piece he was currently working on was definitely more to appease the commercial side and he was struggling over it. He had thus far enjoyed some mild success at showing his own work but thankfully made an adequate living working for a small company who created educational computer games for schools. Luckily, in addition to getting his Bachelors of Fine Arts he had secured a certificate in 3D animation so was more marketable and the company he interned with his senior year offered him full-time work. He also made some extra money offering art lessons to the kids at Josh's school.

Justin was interrupted when Josh came in to pick Liam up for lunch. He watched his two friends as they moved around the small space with flirty touches and stolen kisses. He remembered Liam's reaction when he first met Josh sophomore year. They met online, like so many couples he knew, both gay and straight, had. Liam had come into class after their first meeting just ga-ga over Josh. Everything for weeks was Josh this and Josh that. Once they were finally introduced, Justin did think Josh was a fantastic guy but to hear Liam talk, you would think he was the most beautiful, most intelligent, wittiest man that ever walked the face of the earth. Their relationship was full of up's and down's over the years and Justin bore witness to both the fanatical love they had when they were together and the tremendous heartache and longing when they were not. By the time of Josh and Liam's first break-up, he and Eric were already cozy in coupledom. They were the envy of most of their friends with seemingly a drama-free, stable relationship but Justin recalled wishing for some of the intensity that came with Josh and Liam's type of relationship. It was the first time he considered Eric and his lack of passion as a bad thing; that maybe they might be better as friends. Eric on the other hand, regularly made comments about how lucky they were that they never disagreed on anything. Justin didn't say much although he was tempted to point out that they never disagreed because Eric rarely had an opinion on anything that mattered.

The remainder of the weekend passed without much fanfare. Justin finished his painting; Brian worked on his latest campaign. Monday morning came too soon for both. Brian left for work at 6:30 am, an hour earlier than usual, to make up for the doctor's appointment he was hoping to make that day. He told himself it had nothing to do with wanting to avoid Justin. Nope, it had nothing to do with that. He took the stairs down, still avoiding the elevator as much as possible ,and ran smack dab into Justin leaving for work. Brian forgot about his motives at seeing Justin dressed up. Not wearing a suit but definitely on the business end of business casual. He looked remarkable.

"Hey" Brian said lamely after staring for too long to say nothing.

"Hi yourself" Justin replied as he followed Brian down the stairs matching the faster pace of his longer legs to stay with him.

"I thought you were an artist?" Brian asked, "I don't know many artist that start at 6:30."

"Well, I have to pay the bills and that means a day job. My boss lets me work early so I can still do this afterschool art program at Josh's school."

"Ah, well that explains it. When do you work on your own stuff?"

"On the weekends and after work if I don't have any students."

Brian paused as he entered the landing leading to the garage where he now paid to park his car since his latest parking ticket. "Are you in the garage?" he asked to ascertain which way Justin was headed.

"No I take the bus. Starving artists don't have cars. I just work off of Liberty and Fifth" Justin laughed, slightly embarrassed and desperately trying to play it cool.

"That's near me. Do you want a ride?" Brian offered before he had a chance to think about what he was saying.

Justin lit up with a wide smile relieved that Brian wasn't acting too weird around him. "Sure. Thanks."

Justin climbed into Brian's corvette and instantly felt a need to rid them of the residual weirdness from the way they left things, "I just wanted to say I had a great time the other night." Damn, did that sound too boyfriend-like?

"Uh-huh, me too" Brian replied, not making eye contact.

"I'd like to, um, do it again sometime if you're still interested."

Brian gave Justin an odd expression that he couldn't interpret. It looked somewhat like surprise but not quite. "I usually don't do repeats but if you want to continue your introduction to debauchery, I guess I'm game" Brian offered testing the water with a suggestion, "it's been a while since I've done a threesome."

"Just so there are no more misunderstandings, I would like to continue to be friends as well. Hang out and go dancing if you're interested. Most of my gay friends are in relationships so it would be nice to have another single man to go out with. I'm just talking friends, with benefits, nothing more. Does that fit into your extensive list of life rules?" Justin mocked teasingly, feeling more at ease.

"Just as friends?" Brian confirmed, "No jealous bullshit or expectations about spending time together?"

Justin nodded agreement, "That is exactly what I had in mind."

"Okay then" Brian agreed as they pulled up to Justin's building.

"Give me your phone" Justin said right before he opened the door. Brian paused but entered the security code on his new phone and handed it over. Justin took it and entered his contact information into Brian's phone and then texted himself with it so he would have Brian's number as well. He handed the phone back to Brian with a flirty smile. "Text me when you want to get together or if you just want to fuck."

Brian nodded as Justin hopped out the car. Brian stared at his phone and noticed the text message Justin sent himself for the first time. The message said Brian Goodfuck and he laughed out loud at the compliment. Still as he drove to work he couldn't help notice the change in the way Justin looked at him. It was less puppy dog adoration and more lustful but also more removed. Brian was a little more disappointed about the change than he thought he should be. A fuck as good as Justin was practically on demand, just downstairs from him; it seemed like the perfect arrangement. So why was he disappointed?

Brian entered his office and handed his briefcase and jacket to his assistant. A young, pretty brunette woman, about twenty-five, named Diane or was it Diana? Cynthia had long ago been promoted to running their administrative functions. Diane was the third such executive assistant Cynthia had hired for him and she seemed to be working out okay. She was no Cynthia. She greeted him with his coffee and messages and ran down his day. He gave her a few tasks to do and she left him alone. His first order of business was to see if he could get into the doctor to have the lump on his neck checked out. He called his primary care doctor first and was told it would be next week before he could get an appointment. Reluctantly he called his oncologist next; the same doctor who previously diagnosed his testicular cancer still did his annual follow-up's. He couldn't see him until Friday at 2. He accepted the appointment after checking his calendar. He was irritated by the wait but the timeslot would allow him to knock off early, go to the appointment and then head to Justin's show.

Justin's week progressed in slow-motion. He became obsessed with checking his phone to the point even his co-worker made a comment about him "having it bad". Justin did have it bad but not in the school boy crush way; more in the 'I'm so fucking horny and want to get laid' way. He thought about texting Brian but he really thought it was better to let Brian make the first move. By Thursday his dick was raw from jacking off. He hadn't masturbated so frequently since he first hit puberty and discovered the treasure trove of internet gay porn sites and how to delete his browser history.

Finally on Thursday night while sitting with Daphne looking over some of her latest work he heard the special ring tone he had programmed for Brian. His phone was on the small end table on the other side of the couch. His heart jumped when he realized it was the King of Leon's song, Sex on Fire, playing and Justin practically knocked Daphne off the couch reaching for it.

"Jesus Justin" Daphne yelled, catching herself on the edge of the coffee table just in time.

"Sorry" he apologized insincerely as he punched in his code and navigated to his text messages. "It's him" he offered holding out his phone.

"I figured. First booty call?" she teased.

Justin nodded, "Oh my God, he wants to know what I'm doing tonight. What should I say?"

Daphne rolled her eyes, "You should say that you're hanging out with me but you're gonna say that you'll be right up."

Justin gave his best friend a disgusted look and then kissed her in an apologetic- sorry I'm ditching you to get laid- way and responded to Brian. He bounced off the couch to hurry and shower and change.

Forty minutes later he attempted a casual knock on Brian's door. Consciously trying to slow his breathing and chill the fuck out so he wouldn't appear to be an excitable puppy that was apt to pee all over his hardwood floor. When Brian opened the door, he sucked in a breath. He was shirtless and his jeans were left casually unbuttoned revealing a very happy, happy trail.

Justin had worn a fitted blue v-neck t-shirt that made his eyes pop and jeans that hugged his ass. He hoped it highlighted his best features while not giving the impression that he was trying too hard to look good.

Brian smiled at seeing Justin's outfit. He looked good, really good and he was instantly glad he had texted Justin. It had been a long day and he wanted to get laid without having to go search for someone at Babylon that probably wouldn't be half as good as Justin was anyway. "Hey, did you eat already?" Brian asked. "I brought home a pizza."

"Smells good," Justin said, "I can always eat."

Brian nodded and handed him a plate with two slices and grabbed two beers from the fridge. "How was your day?" Justin asked as they settled onto the floor cushions around Brian's coffee table.

"Long. We are in the middle of the Brown Athletic's new campaign." Brian said without elaboration. "Yours?" he asked almost out of obligation.

"Fine" Justin responded with a smile sensing Brian wasn't that interested. "I'm glad you called. I've wanted to see you all week."

"You should have texted." Brian replied, "it's a two way street, you know?"

Justin nodded and moved closer to Brian so his hand was resting on his thigh kneading the muscle underneath; "Yeah, I guess I should have" he flirted and leaned in to place a kiss on Brian's lips.

Brian kissed Justin and pulled back to be met with a wink as if to say, "I'm ready now"

Brian took the cue and abandoned the pizza. Kissing him deeper and pulling his shirt off. He pushed him gently until he flopped down on the long cushy pillows. He kissed a trail up his smooth chest, taking time to pause at his nipples and again at his neck. Justin was the perfect bottom, responsive to every touch, every kiss. By the time Brian made it back to his mouth, Justin's entire body was awake and wanting more. Brian leaned over pleased to feel an erection pushing against his own.

"Fuck me" Justin whispered.

Brian groaned at hearing the vulgar words falling from such innocent looking lips, and then kissed him hard, forcing his tongue into the cavity of Justin's open mouth. Brian manipulated them free of their jeans and smirked upon finding Justin had forgone underwear. Justin lifted his legs and wrapped them around Brian's waist, grinding up against him in a way that got his point across. Brian fumbled for lube and condoms he kept stashed in the living room. He worked a slicked finger into Justin but stopped when he noticed his young lover flinch at the intrusion.

"Too sore?" Brian asked, oddly concerned that Justin might be still feeling him so many days later.

"I'm fine" Justin assured him, "Please" he begged.

Brian prepped him more thoroughly than before and with uncharacteristic care given to his partner's comfort. He found his prostate and worked it with ease, enjoying the frenzied reaction it garnered. Since they were face to face, Brian enjoyed seeing Justin's reaction this time. He was so beautiful sprawled out with his legs open, eyes wide and dilated with lust, panting hard between moans.

"Enough, fuck me" Justin begged again.

Brian couldn't take his eyes off Justin's face as he pushed into him. He was mesmerized by every twitch, every sigh. The position let him better read Justin's body and adapt his speed and angle to perfection. Justin was in heaven, as much as he enjoyed their last time, the position was more intimate and gave more friction to his own cock that pressed between their abdomens as Brian moved on top of him. It was an unpracticed rhythm but it built their pleasure slowly and steadily. Justin thought it was different being on the receiving end face-to-face. Better.

Brian lasted longer than usual. He was normally about going fast and furious but tonight he wanted to keep going even when his muscles burned from the constant motion. He didn't want to stop until Justin fell apart beneath him. He leaned over to kiss Justin, driving him deeper and changing the angle. Justin felt the change instantly and the increased friction on his dick, he moaned loudly into Brian's mouth. They fucked with their bodies, hands and tongues until they came, Justin first- then Brian right after.

Brian tied off the condom and left to get Justin a washcloth. He used the warm cloth to clean the splatters off his ab's and chest while thinking how sexy Justin looked recovering from his orgasm. Brian lay next to Justin on the floor, speechless, for a few minutes until Justin started to move again. He twisted around looking for his jeans and shirt. Brian felt the sense of loss again but didn't stop him from dressing. He put his own jeans on and walked their abandoned dinner plates to the kitchen counter. Grabbing a cold slice and taking a bite.

Justin joined him at the kitchen counter and grabbed the remains of his unfinished slice off his plate. They ate in silence, each deep in a poorly disguised state of bliss. Justin finished his pizza and gave Brian a quick thanks and kiss good-bye. Brian held Justin's arm for longer than necessary in an unspoken "don't go just yet" plea with his eyes.

"I have an early day tomorrow" Justin offered as an explanation as to why he was rushing off, "Will I see you tomorrow?"

Brian nodded. "Yeah"

"Good, I want you to see my stuff. Be honest okay. I really want to know what you think." Justin said as he tried to put his shoes on standing up on his way out the door.

"Hey Justin" Brian called out when he was half-way out the door.

"Yeah"

"Do you want a ride tomorrow, in the morning, I mean?" Brian asked, trying to be casual.

"Sure" Justin smiled detecting the significance of such an offer coming from Brian.

He closed the door and leaned back against it on the outside. The butterflies were back in full-force and he allowed himself a few minutes to get himself under control. He took the stairs down one flight to his apartment and opened his door.

"Daphne" he called out walking to the back of the apartment to Daphne's room, "I had the most amazing…." He stopped short of finishing his latest review of Brian's performance upon seeing Daphne locked in an uncomfortable hug on her bed with a sobbing man.

She gave Justin a woeful expression as she patted the man's back awkwardly in what Justin assumed was Daphne's attempt at giving comfort.

"I'm sorry" Justin mouthed softly, backing out of the room, "I didn't realize you had company."

His words alerted the man to Justin's presence and he turned around so they were face to face.

"Eric?" Justin exclaimed in shock, "What are you doing here?"