October 2007 - Pittsburgh

Aidan’s POV

After having returned to America at the beginning of 2006, Aidan Cole stayed in New York and Harrisburg for 6 months before going on a new mission in Asia. In June 2006, he took off for India, where he stayed for more than a year.

The bustling streets of India was a real wonder to him, and Aidan loved to sit in a corner of the street, camera in hand as he opened his eyes to view the spectacle before him. The feelings he had and the moments he shared with the local population were really precious to him. That was his life, without strings, and if not for the feeling of not having a real home to go to at night, he knew he could carry with this life for a long time.

But at the end of September 2007, a phone call made him change his plans.

“You have to come home, she needs you,” is what his brother in law said, sounding unsure and desperate.

The words echoed in his head, like bells with endless sounds that would accompany him in his misty dreams. Because there is only one thing that could make him give up his traveler's job so quickly.

It was his home.

His sister.

So, when her husband, Samuel Miller, pleaded with him to come back, Aidan didn’t hesitate for a second. After having called his boss to warn him about having to go back to the States because of a family emergency, three days later, he was back and making his way into Pittsburgh International Airport.

His sister had moved here a year ago, after having spent all her life in Harrisburg.

She had met Samuel when she was 21. Samuel had been an intern in cardiology, who dedicated his life to his passion, medicine. Three years later, Olivia was married, with a baby on her way.

Aidan was 14 at the time, and being an uncle so young had been one of the happiest moments of his teenage years. Aidan welcomed Samuel like a big brother from the first time they met, and they shared mutual respect and admiration for each other.

Now, 19 years later, Olivia, Samuel and their two kids, Claire and Noah, had just moved to Pittsburgh where Samuel had been offered a position as Chief of Cardiology at Allegheny General Hospital.

However, it wasn't going as well as it seemed, according to Samuel. Having taken a new position in a renowned hospital, Samuel had to spend long hours there, leaving Olivia on her own. Claire, their daughter, had been admitted to Carnegie Mellon University and was living on campus, wanting to become more independent. Noah was in high school and spent a lot of time with his new friends, or when he was at home, in his room. Olivia had yet to find a part time job as a nurse, not really needing one for financial reasons, but she loved her work and she always found her own happiness sharing her time between her job, her kids, her husband and her little brother when he was there.

But as it seemed, the move had unexpected repercussions for Olivia, who, with no job and virtually no family around, was showing signs of deep depression.

Not knowing what to do with the little time he had at the moment, Samuel had called Aidan to help him, hoping that seeing her little brother would cheer his beloved wife.

The problem was, when Olivia saw him, it didn't work.

Not really.

And Aidan was worried.

Scratch that.

He was fucking scared. Because he had a feeling, a feeling he can’t explain, but he doesn’t like it.

And he hopes really badly that he’s wrong about it.

When he first saw her, Aidan couldn’t believe he was looking at his sister. She looked thinner, older, but it was her eyes, always joyful and sparkling, that hadn't even recognized him.

“Where were you? I was worried, you could have called me,” were the first words out of her mouth when she opened the door. Then, she turned back and retreated to the safety of her house, leaving Aidan on the open porch, dumbfounded.

He followed her inside.  “Livia, it’s me.” He looked at her as she paused.  “I’m back.”

She froze for a few seconds before finally turning around. All her demeanor changed.

“Aidan…” She stared at him. “Oh, God! It’s so good to see you! When did you …? Come here!” She extended her arms and he enveloped her in his strong arms, really feeling her, all small and fragile under his fingers.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” She sniffled on his shoulders, and Aidan couldn't help but worry a little more.

He had never seen her cry.

Not since their parents' death.

“Why the fuck didn’t you call me sooner?”

Aidan was furious and by the tone in his voice, Samuel had no other choice but to listen to him. He was in his office and hanging up would have only served to make his brother in law angrier, if that was possible, considering the tone of his voice.

“I didn’t realize it was so bad until recently.” Even to his own ears, that sounded like a pathetic excuse.

“What do you mean, you didn’t realize? It’s your wife, for fuck’s sake! You live with her! Or aren’t you there at all?”

“Aidan, I can’t talk to you right now, I have a consultation in five minutes.” Samuel avoided answering. “Listen, I will be at home by seven; we can talk about it then, okay?”

“If you are even five minutes late, I will come and get you and you will give me some fucking answers, capisce?” Aidan wasn't playing.

“I will be there.”

When Samuel hangs up, he puts his hands in his head and takes a deep breath.

If Aidan was reacting that way, it wasn’t good. Olivia and he had always shared a deep bound, a connection, and even if it was  his wife, he wasn’t sure he was the one who knew her the best.

So, if Aidan was freaking out right now, it was not good.

Not good at all.

“So, spill it.”

Aidan and Samuel were sitting in the living room while Olivia was resting in her room. She was obviously exhausted by her endless insomnia, as Aidan had discovered when he had seen his nephew a few hours ago, which had been the only really good moment of his day so far.

“I don’t know how to explain.”

“Just try.” Aidan was losing patience, and knew he wouldn't be so polite if his fucking brother in law didn't start to speak soon.

“Well, at first, I didn’t notice that something was wrong. I was always at the office, and I thought that her strange behavior was the consequence of our move. She had lived in Harrisburg for all her life, after all, and she left behind her friends, her work, her home…to go with me.”

Aidan nodded, encouraging Samuel to keep going.

“I thought she was going to move on. You know your sister as well as I do. She always likes to volunteer and is so full of life, so I didn’t pay attention at first. But then, I don’t know, she seemed wistful and lost and… Christ!” Samuel passed a hand through his hair.  “I should have paid attention! Fuck!”

“Hey, I don’t understand, what happened?” Aidan was more and more worried with each passing minute.

“I…After a while, Noah told me that she was weird, like she wasn’t cooking anymore, or doing the laundry, or that she was forgetting to come and get him at school, stuff like that… I thought that it was Noah being Noah. You know how all teenagers are, always criticizing their parents, and finding excuses to leave the house all the time. I realized later that Noah was the one doing the cooking, the cleaning and all the chores in the house.”

“I took Olivia to the doctor, a friend of mine, and he diagnosed her with depression. That was two months ago. He put her under meds, and I hoped it would get better. I tried to stay with her a little more, but when things didn't change, that's when I freaked out and called you…”

Aidan stared at his brother-in-law with a questioning look.

“When I called you,” Samuel continued, “I was coming home early one day and I found her, with the phone in her hand, staring at it like it was going to jump her. When I took the phone, her friend Jessie was on the other line, saying, “What’s wrong with you?  It’s me, Jessie.”  Samuel looked at the floor, lost in his memory. “It seemed that the phone didn’t stop ringing all afternoon, but Olivia never responded to it until Noah put it in her hand, tired of the noise. When I arrived a few minutes later, Olivia was just listening to Jessie and claiming that she didn’t know her and that she wanted to be left alone...”

“…The look in her eyes, Aidan, it was…I don’t know.” Samuel put his hand on his forehead. “It was like it wasn’t her at all, like she wasn’t even there.”

Fucking Christ.  Aidan couldn’t help but blame Samuel for having waited so long to call him.

But most of all, he couldn’t stop blaming himself for not being here in the first place. He hadn’t seen his sister since May 2006, and he wasn’t great with phone calls. And, if he had been honest with himself, he had sensed something the last time he saw her, too, but he thought it had been an unjustified feeling at the time, caused by the imminent move to Pittsburgh, and the resulting anxiety that could emerge in such circumstances.

Unable to think properly and feeling that his head was about to explode, Aidan made a quick decision as he rose from his chair. “I need some air.” Aidan slipped on his leather jacket and added, “Don’t wait up for me; I need to be on my own right now. I'll be back tomorrow.”

Samuel watched him with the look of an exhausted man that had just run ten miles and was pursued by the devil. “Okay.”

Aidan headed to the door and paused in front of it. “What do you think is really happening?”

His back was the only thing that Samuel could see, so didn’t see the look of fear that appeared in Aidan’s eyes when he said, “I don’t know yet. But I have a feeling it’s more than just a depression. I hope I’m wrong.” He noticed Aidan tensing perceptibly.

Closing his eyes, Aidan took a deep breath. Then he opened the front door and made his way to the gay district. Fifteen minutes later, he was walking around on Liberty Avenue and turned off his brain.

Tonight, he wanted to forget, he needed to forget. Because he knew that tomorrow would come too fast, and just thinking about it made him want to scream.

Present Time...

After a night of fucking and drinking, Aidan is exhausted. When he enters the Liberty Diner, all he wants is peace and quiet and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.

The waitress makes him smile and he even laughs a few times, including a rant about one of his tricks last night.

The easygoing vibe he feels in this diner is refreshing. Debbie, the waitress, is definitely a person larger-than-life, and the queen he fucked last night is doing all he can to make him notice him again. If not for Debbie, he would have told him to fuck off, because he is not in the mood. But all in all, he is more amused than annoyed, which is surprising considering his state of mind.

He sips his coffee, unconsciously delaying his return to his sister’s home. He refused to think about it last night, but now, with a few hours’ sleep at one of his tricks' places, and a rush of caffeine in his blood, he knows he has to face it, whatever it is.

He is just about to rise from the bar stool he is sitting on when he hears a voice and meets the hazel eyes of someone familiar.

It takes him about two seconds to recognize him.

I can’t believe it, is all he can think as he stares at the man from the New York subway.

Brian’s POV

Since Justin’s departure, Brian has lost himself in his work. If not for the frequent visits from his friends, and a few trips to see his son in Toronto, Brian’s life would consist of four words:

Work.

Booze.

Tricks.

Loneliness.

Not necessarily in that order.

At first, he decided to live his life, day after day, without thinking of tomorrow.

Drowning.

And pretending to try to stop drowning.

The only times he felt something real, something worth fighting for, was when he saw his son and his family. And he couldn’t thank his best friend enough, because Michael has been an anchor in the last few months.

His best friend has been here nearly every day, in one way or another, either by phone or inviting himself in the loft for an impromptu marathon of “Spiderman” or James Dean’s movies, always there to cheer him up. One month after Brian’s return from New York, Michael had come to the loft, told him to pack a suitcase for a week, and had taken his friend to Toronto to see their kids.

It was the beginning of a long and hard uphill battle, one whose purpose was to bring Brian back to the land of the surviving ones, to the land of the  living ones.

But it was hard work, with relapses.

One day Michael found his friend passed out in the alley behind Babylon, and if not for the bartender who had found him while taking the garbage outside, Brian could have been robbed, or worse. That night, the only word that Brian said before passing out again in the safety of his loft, after having been carried by Ben and Michael, was his name.

“ Justin,”

Now, three months later, Brian seems to fight a little more.

A little. But he hasn’t stopped drowning yet.

When he enters the Liberty Diner, he prepares himself for the lecture he’s sure to receive from his foster mother. Debbie doesn’t deceive him, proclaiming to whoever want to hear her that he is too thin and that he isn't taking good enough care of himself.

Yeah, right.

But as a matter of fact, he is touched by her concern. He knows that she means well and that she is worried about him. Well, he can’t blame her, considering that if he was in her shoes - just the thought makes him shiver - he would be worried, too. Added to that fact is the knowledge that she had seen him often enough during his pain management campaigns over the years to know that he isn’t always the best candidate to deal with his feelings.

Well, that’s the understatement of the century.

As he follows her to the back of the diner, his eyes land on a hot man sitting at the counter. Brian doesn’t know why, but something about him seems familiar. So, when the man turns his head in his direction, visibly intending to stand up, he watches in disbelief as he recognizes the man from the subway.

“Holly shit!”

He doesn’t know why, but he starts laughing out loud; he doesn’t believe in coincidences, and yet, it has to be the biggest one in his entire life.

Everybody looks at him as he makes his way to the bar.

“Fuck me.” Aidan Cole is staring at him, dumbfounded.

“You wish!” he replies with a smirk. Ok, it’s a little bold; but hey, he is Brian Kinney, for fuck’s sake.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Aidan says, unflappable.

“Ah, the wonder of the world; it’s a good thing you were sitting, or I’m sure my mere presence would have made you fall flat on the filthy floor…” Brian quips with a smile at the corner of his lips.

“As I recall, I wasn’t the one who was spread on the floor the last time I saw you,” Aidan points out, an amused look on his face.

“Yeah, well, shut up; that’s just semantics,” Brian jokes, before asking, “So, what are you doing in fabulous Pittsburgh on this wonderful Saturday morning, besides stalking me? I always knew you had a crush on me; they all do.” Brian can't help it.

“That’s an interesting idea; but the truth is I’m trying to clear my head after too much drinking and too much tricking.”

“Ahh… Well, then, you have all my respect.” Brian takes Aidan’s cup of coffee and drinks it, scowling when he realizes there isn’t a once of sugar in it.

“And you, what are you  doing here?” Aidan can’t believe that Brian - yes, that was his name - is here.

“You mean, besides this place being where I've practically lived since I was a teenager?” Brian raises his eyebrows, a habit that Aidan recognizes immediately.

“My condolences,” Aidan jokes.

“Thank you.” Brian plays along. “Debbie, the waitress, virtually raised me.”

“That explains a lot…” Aidan is smiling.

“Excuse me?” Brian feigns to be upset.

“I said, she is a nice lady…” Aidan smirks. “She is your mother?”

“Well, she is more of a mother than the woman who gave birth to me, that’s for sure.” Why is he sharing this with a virtual stranger, Brian doesn’t know.

Just then, Aidan’s phone rings, and Brian can’t help but witness the look on the other man’s face when he sees the identity of the caller.

“I have to take this."

“No problem.” Brian stands up and joins his friends at their booth in order to give him some privacy.

As soon as he arrives at the table, Emmett assaults him.

“You know him? Aidan Cole?” Aidan Cole, yeah, that’s his name , Brian thinks as Emmett continues. “I can’t believe it. And here I thought it was the first time this beautiful stud was coming to our lovely city!” In response to Brian's puzzled look, Emmett explains, “He fucked me last night, and boy, he is a real man!  ALL man.”

Brian looks at Ted to clarify. “Multiple orgasms… and without a sound.”

“Yeah, without even some dirty talk, do you believe it? That man is a genius made just for fucking!” Emmett adds.

“Hum,” is all Brian says, and he can’t help but grin inwardly. Well done Aidan; with Emmett, though? Really?

“ So, how do you know him?” Emmett presses.

“Not any of your business, Honeycutt,” Brian retorts with a grin.

“Don’t call me Honeycutt!” Emmett answers loudly.

At this point, Aidan joins them, looking pale, and excuses himself. “I have to go,” he says to the table, even if he doesn’t know half of the people around it.

Then, looking to Brian, he adds, “It was good to see you again.”

“Likewise.” Brian holds his gaze and finally Aidan starts to move and make his way to the door of the diner. With one last look inside, and one last lingering look at Brian, he opens the door and leaves.

That is the moment that Debbie chooses to walk back to the table. She stares at all of her boys, who are sporting different looks on their faces:

A surprised look from Ted and Ben.

An envious look from Emmett.

A questioning look from Michael.

And a wondering look from Brian.

So, in contradiction to the fine lady she always presents to the rest of the world, she opens her big mouth and says:

“What the fuck was that?”