Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Author's Chapter Notes:

Sorry this took so long to get out.  Got distracted by Easter and the arrival of a new puppy!  Thanks for reading and enjoy!

 

 

 

"What the hell are you doing, Justin?"

 

Daphne had bags under her eyes from too little sleep, but she had been awake when Justin called.  Her hair was pulled back in a hasty ponytail, exposing the lines of worry in her face.

 

"I had to rectify what happened last night."  Justin stared out the window as Daphne drove them back to her apartment.  "I couldn't leave it like that, Daph."

 

"He let you in?"

 

"He wasn't there.  I let myself in with the key he gave me a long time ago."

 

Daphne breathed a sigh of relief.  "Good.  So you didn't see him."

 

"I slept with him."

 

"What?"  Daphne glared at him, aghast.  Justin smacked her arm, and she looked up in time to see the stop sign.  They both threw an arm out to brace themselves at the sudden brake.  Daphne took a deep breath before continuing.

 

"Have you lost your mind?"

 

"Do we have to discuss this now?"

 

"You're the one who dropped the bombshell!"  Daphne gave him a playful punch on the shoulder, with just enough force to let Justin know she was serious.

 

"It wasn't my intention to have sex."  Justin told her about finding his art in Brian's loft.  "All this time, he's obviously been tracking me to some extent.  He purchased some of my early pictures, which kept me financially afloat in those first years in New York.  I didn't even know any of this!"

 

"He obviously didn't want you to know," said Daphne.  "What did he say when you confronted him?"

 

"He said he was just trying to help . . . said my success was more important than our relationship.  He broke it off because he was afraid I would get homesick and come back to Pittsburgh."

 

"Is he right?"

 

"Of course not!"  He sighed.  "I don't think so."

 

"I know.  I'm sorry."  She gave him an apologetic glance.  "At least now you know he did it for you.  In his own arrogant, misguided way."

 

"Fuck."  Justin rubbed his forehead, sighing.  "I don't know what to think or believe anymore."

 

"So where did the sex come in?"

 

Justin flushed.  "I, uh . . . kissed him.  It kind of went from there."

 

Daphne chuckled, shaking her head.  "And was it as good as you remember?"

 

"Daph!"  She raised her eyebrows knowingly, and he chuckled.  "Of course, it was.  He's still Brian Kinney, the ultimate lover and asshole."

 

"You know what?" said Daphne, thoughtfully.  "You're his baby duck."

 

"Huh?"

 

"His baby duck!  You know, how baby ducks supposedly imprint on the first thing they see, and that's who they follow around everywhere."

 

"You're calling me a duck?  Seriously?"

 

"He was your first lover, and he left his mark on you, figuratively speaking.  Your entire body is wired to his desires and needs.  You can't even help yourself."

 

"I am not a baby duck!  That's the stupidest thing I ever heard."  He glowered at Daphne before turning his attention to more interesting things.  Like the houses outside.

 

"So now what?"

 

"Now, I get ready for the show tonight and put him out of my mind.  No distractions."

 

"Uh huh."  She rolled her eyes, but Justin let it pass.

 

###

 

Jennifer watched from a distance as her son deftly handled the admirers waiting to speak to him.  Sitting at one of the refreshment tables, she sipped wine while she waited for the show to end.  She had brought Justin this evening, since Daphne had another shift at the hospital.  Truthfully, she didn't mind.  Justin came to Pittsburgh rarely, so Jennifer had taken several trips to NYC to visit.

 

Jennifer had met Adam a year after Justin had started dating him.  She found him pleasantly friendly but very quiet.  He seemed to be what people called "a gentle soul" and treated Justin with deference and respect.  She approved wholeheartedly of their relationship but had to admit he was a surprising choice after Brian.  They were polar opposites, a warm breeze compared to an icy hurricane.

 

When Justin told her they had broken up, and he was moving out, she had felt sad.  They had been considering marriage, which she knew Justin had always wanted.  Even children had a part in their plans for the future, and she had desperately hoped for a grandchild.  Justin never explained why they separated, and she knew better than to press.

 

She waited until the show was over, and Justin plopped down into the chair next to her.

 

"Ugh.  I'm so glad this is over.  I know these kind of things are necessary, but I'd really rather just draw than deal with public events."

 

"Well, your fans love to meet you," said Jennifer.  "I'm so proud of you, Justin."

 

"Thanks."  He smiled and squeezed her hand.

 

"I used to worry so much, after what Chris Hobbs did, but you've gone above and beyond what I ever could have hoped.  I suppose I should thank Brian for that."

 

 She watched him stiffen and pull away his hand.  Brain was clearly still a taboo topic, but Jennifer was not going to let it go.

 

"I called today, and Daphne said you were at his place."

 

From his frown, she suspected Daphne would be getting a verbal thrashing later.

 

"I was."

 

"He came to your exhibition last night also."

 

"He did."

 

"Did you know he was coming?"

 

That got a reaction.  "No!"  He glared at her.  "I haven't spoken to him in years.  You know that."

 

"Does he still live in that loft?"

 

"Why the inquisition?"  She had his attention now, but all his shields were up.  She sighed, longing for the days before her son came out, when he had shared everything with her.  Nothing was ever the same after your child became an adult.

 

"Honey, I'm just concerned, that's all.  He hurt you terribly after you went to New York."

 

"I'm fine, Mom.  I just . . . ."  He looked away, but not before she saw the sadness.  "I wanted answers."

 

"And did you get them?"

 

"More or less."  She wondered about that.  Brian had never been exactly forthright, and Justin fell so easily under his spell.

 

"Come on.  Let's go."  He offered a hand and pulled her to her feet, bright smile back in place.  She gave him a quick hug and donned her coat.

 

Outside, it was dark and cool, the parking lot brightly lit and nearly empty.  As they walked, Justin told Jennifer about a new gallery in NYC who had contacted him about showing some of his works.  Excited, he failed to notice the jeep next to Jennifer's car, but when she stopped, he looked forward and froze.  Brian was lounging against the front of the jeep, hands deep in the pockets of his black trench coat.  As they approached with obvious hesitation, he flashed Jennifer a winning smile.

 

"Mrs. Taylor.  You're looking as fabulous as I remember."

 

Jennifer narrowed her eyes.  "Brian.  It's good to see you, I suppose.  Is there some reason you're lurking by my car?"

 

Brian's intense gaze shifted to Justin.  "I was sort of hoping to speak to your son.  If it's okay with him."

 

Jennifer turned to Justin, who stood stiff and silent.  Her eyes flicked back and forth between them, watching as they shared a long look.  Finally, Justin turned to her.

 

"It's okay Mom.  Go home and get some sleep.  I'll call you in the morning."

 

She glanced at Brian apprehensively, but he was still staring at Justin.  "Are you sure?"

 

"I'll be fine.  I promise."

 

He hugged her, offering a reassuring smile.  She shot Brian a last withering look and turned reluctantly to her car.  When she left the parking lot, she looked back, but they were still standing by Brian's jeep.

 

###

 

"So, what did you want to speak about?"

 

Brian chewed at his lower lip, brushing a piece of lint off his coat.  "Actually, I was hoping you would accompany me somewhere.  There's something I want to show you."

 

"I've already seen the loft."

 

Brian rolled his eyes.  "I'm not talking about the loft.  Could you please just get in the car?"

 

Justin swallowed, his eyes fixed on the ground.  "I'm not sure it's such a good idea."

 

"I promise you'll want to see this."  Seeing Justin's stubborn expression, Brian sighed.  "Look, if you want to go home, I'll take you there after I show you something.  Okay?"

 

"Fine."  Justin climbed into the jeep, just wanting to get it over with.  At least, that was what he told himself.

 

Brian drove in silence, but Justin saw him watching his passenger from the corner of his eye.

 

What the fuck am I doing here?  I need to let him go, not spend more time with him.

 

"Your art's very good by the way."

 

Justin almost jumped; the silence had been so absolute.  He resisted the urge to look at Brian and gazed out the window instead.

 

"Thanks."

 

"And Maddie . . . was that based on a future you'd hoped for?"

 

Justin swiveled his head, piercing Brian with a sharp glance.  "Hardly.  I need a stable relationship before having a kid."

 

"And Adam didn't work out."

 

Justin narrowed his eyes.  "I shouldn't have told you about him."

 

"I already knew."

 

Justin's frown deepened.  "What?"

 

"I've kept tabs on you . . . making sure you're all right."

 

"You've been spying on me?"

 

"Relax.  I know no more than the public knows.  You don't have video cameras stationed around your townhouse.  I promise."

 

"What business is it of yours to know anything about my life?"  Justin's heart was racing, his face hot.  "You dumped me, remember?"

 

"Doesn't mean I stopped caring."  Brian's voice was hesitant, the words obviously costing him a great deal to say.  He did not look at Justin but the knuckles of his hands on the wheel were bone white.

 

Justin wanted to jump out and slam the door in Brian Kinney's face.  Who was he to toy with Justin's emotions like this?  Hadn't Justin suffered enough heartbreak?

 

Perhaps he suffered too.  The unwanted thought did not go away, and Justin found himself settling back in his seat, willing himself to relax.  Emotions ran high on both sides, and he did not feel like lighting a fire now.

 

"We're here."

 

Brian drove down Liberty Ave. and turned into an alley.  Justin stared into his past, momentarily thrown by memories both good and bad.

 

Pillars of lights flashed rudely into the night, highlighting a long line of men waiting to enter Babylon.  It looked exactly as he remembered it before the bombing.  His mother had told him that Brian had rebuilt the club, but he had never returned to Liberty Avenue to see it. 

 

He got out of the car slowly, mesmerized by the neon words glowing in the dark.  For just a moment, he saw ambulance lights, mixed with the shouts of police officers as shaken people exited covered in soot.  It was here that Brian had first said the words Justin had needed so badly to hear.

 

The vision faded replaced by Brian's wide smile, one hand held out in supplication.

 

"Come in with me?"

 

They looked at each other for an endless minute, Brian never lowering his hand or his smile.  Taking a deep breath, Justin reached out and took his hand.

 

###

 

They found Ted and Emmett by the bar, just as in days of old.  Emmett shrieked when he saw Justin.  Drawing him into a bear hug, they congratulated him on his show and offered him a drink.

 

"Drinks are on me tonight, boys."  Brian made a gesture at the bartender, who replied with a curt nod.  "Help yourself."

 

Justin ordered a whiskey sour and stood leaning against the bar while taking in the sights and sounds of the club.  A security guard approached, whispering something to Brian.  He made a pained grimace.

 

"Sorry, but duty calls.  I'll be back in a few."  He followed the guard, quickly disappearing into the crowd on the dance floor.

 

"So . . . uh . . . .”  Ted nodded toward Brian's departing back.  "Are you two . . . um . . . back together?"

 

Justin opened his mouth to snap a vicious reply, but stopped when he saw Ted's sympathetic look.  The man was not being snarky, but inquisitive.  No sense in taking out Justin's uncertainty on the poor man.

 

"No.  He just wanted me to see Babylon."  Justin moved closer to hear Ted better over the raucous beat of the music.  "Do you still work for him?"

 

"Oh, yes.  It's a great job, really.  Except when the boss is on the warpath."

 

"I can imagine," chuckled Justin.  He had seen for himself how Brian ripped into his employees.  He too had suffered Brian's wrath when he worked at Vanguard.

 

"Isn't it great how he rebuilt Babylon?" said Emmett, raising his beer to the flashing lights in homage.  "It still looks just the same.  Even better really.  He devised some new shows to keep us gay boys happy."

 

"I have to admit, it looks great," said Justin.  It even looked cleaner.  Justin wondered if Brian kept the back room sanitary as well.  The thought brought a tension to his groin, and he quickly shut out the thought.

 

"You know," said Ted, "Brian has been acting very different since you returned.  Like the old selfish, prickly Brian again."

 

"Definitely," agreed Emmett.  "He was smiling tonight.  When was the last time we saw him actually smile, Teddy?"

 

Justin finished off his drink and ordered another.  He debated whether he should ask, but his curiosity was too strong.

 

"What do you mean?  How is he usually?"

 

"Different.  Like every kernel of the old Brian was plucked, leaving just a husk," said Ted.

 

"Good analogy," said Emmett, tapping his glass to Ted's.  "He definitely was never the same after you left, Sunshine."

 

Justin was silent.  He wondered how much they knew of what had transpired but decided they probably knew nothing.  Brian was not the type to confide.

 

Brian chose that moment to return.  He had removed his coat, exposing a sleeveless, black button-down and black jeans.  Even at forty-five, he still made heads turn.

 

"Give me your coat," he said, removing Justin's jacket.  He smirked at the tie.  "And lose the tie."

 

"I'm not exactly dressed for dancing."  Shit, the one thing he could not do was dance with Brian.  For them, it was nearly as intimate as fucking.

 

Brian handed Justin's coat and tie to the bartender.  "You're fine."  Without another word, he took Justin's drink, setting it on the bar, grabbed his hand, and dragged Justin out to the floor.

 

They found a space near the center, and Brian whirled Justin around to face him.

 

"Relax," he said, almost yelling to be heard over the music.

 

Not wanting to cause a scene, Justin relented.  Closing his eyes, he focused on the rhythm, pushing away the warnings screaming in his brain.  The alcohol helped, numbing his thoughts and amplifying his senses, warming his gut with a pleasant glow.  He relaxed, allowing Brian to pull him close, not quite touching.

 

He fell into memories:  nights full of dancing, blowing Brian in the back room, and then going home to fuck until an hour before dawn.  How had he ever got enough sleep?  He had been young and in love.  Nothing but his art had mattered so much.

 

You're his baby duck.

 

She was probably right.  Even after all these years, every touch from Brian was electric, every smile like his own personal sun.  He hated it.  He craved it.  So much for thinking I was over him.

 

Brian pulled him closer, hip to hip, resting his forehead on Justin's as the beat became more intense.  Justin could smell the whiskey on his breath and wondered when Brian had snuck in a drink.  Probably when he was off with the security guard.  His hands were wrapped loosely around Justin's waist, fingers lightly stroking just above his pants.

 

He did not resist, could not resist.  The lights, the music, the sweaty guys around them, and the smell of Brian's cologne . . . it all battered at his defenses, wearing away the past eleven years like water erodes limestone.  He leaned into Brian's embrace, wrapping his hands around the taller man's neck, allowing his fingers to weave into Brian's hair.

 

He lost track of time.  There was only the pulse of the music, the beat of his heart, the breath that mingled with Brian's.  He floated on memory, on years of love and turbulence, on promises made and broken.  For now, in Babylon, there was only the present, and the past eleven years were as nothing.  It was as if the club transcended time, contained youth eternal and love unbound.  It was Brian in every song and every shot glass.

 

He wasn't even aware he was hard until Brian brushed his own erection against his.  They both sucked in harsh breaths, lurching back into the moment.  Justin licked his lips, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

 

"Uh, is there still a back room here?"  Fuck, he could not believe he was doing this.

 

Brian smiled, soft and slow.  "There is, but I'm not taking you there."

 

Confused, Justin glanced up at him, but Brian shook his head.

 

"You deserve more than a fuck in a back room, wouldn't you say?"  Brian stopped dancing and took his hand.  "Come on."

 

Justin followed him up the stairs, where he saw that Brian had built an office among the lights and catwalks.  The office was made entirely of glass, tinted so that the occupants could see out, but no one could see in.  Brian led him inside and locked the door.

 

Justin took a minute to look around.  The beautiful mahogany desk held a laptop and was accompanied by a black leather chair.  A sofa and love seat, also in black leather, comprised the remaining furniture, with track lights providing dim light above.  A door behind the desk led to a small bathroom.

 

"Wow, nice."

 

"I never did understand why Sapp simply did his work on the catwalk.  So much space up here was wasted."

 

Justin was not about to disagree.  He had basically been forced to let Sapp blow him in full sight of his staff when he had been a go-go dancer here.  He shuddered at the memory.

 

A different kind of shudder raced through his body as he felt Brian move behind him, tongue tracing a trail on the back of his neck.  His erection, which had deflated at the thought of Sapp, began to rise again.  He struggled to focus, to remain conscious of what they were doing.

 

"So now you fuck your tricks up here, instead of the back room?"

 

A warm tongue tickled at his earlobe, causing him to gasp loudly.  "I've never fucked anyone in here.  You're the first."

 

Justin whirled, facing Brian with a confused frown.  "Seriously?"

 

"Have I ever lied to you, Justin?"  Brian's gaze was intense, his pupils dilated with desire.

 

The sound of his name reverberated through Justin's mind, destroying every coherent thought.  They came together roughly, bone smashing against bone, fingers clutching at clothes as they strived to bury themselves within each other.  Ever the master of a swift strip, Brian had both of them naked in minutes, pushing Justin back against the tinted window.

 

Sweat smeared the window as Brian took a slow tour of Justin's body.  He found every sensitive place, tortured it with his tongue, and turned Justin into a writhing mess.  Panting, he finally stood, having retrieved a condom from his discarded jeans.

 

"Turn around."

 

Justin obeyed, taking in the rainbow of colors below, as Brian slipped his lubricated fingers into Justin's ass, preparing him carefully.  Outside, several lighting techs walked by, oblivious to the scene going on in the office.  It made Justin feel like he was on display, without being on display.  The feeling served to ramp up his desire, and he grunted with impatience.

 

"Would you just fuck me already?"

 

Brian chuckled, and then everything was blotted out as he entered Justin.  He paused, respectfully giving Justin a chance to adjust, before pushing in the rest of the way.  They stood for a while, Justin plastered to the glass, Brian plastered to Justin, each reveling in the exquisiteness of being joined.  Then Brian began to move.

 

No one could fuck standing up like Brian.  Even with the awkward angle, he still managed to stroke over the prostate, while applying enough pressure to keep his lover from buckling.  Every so often, he would pause to nibble at Justin's shoulder, before continuing his relentless thrusts.  Justin tried to reciprocate, reach back to touch something, but Brian did not allow it, grabbing Justin's flailing hands and placing them back on the glass.

 

The office was soundproofed, filled only with the harshness of their pants, the soft moans from Justin, the slap of flesh on flesh.  Dizzy from either the alcohol or the endorphins racing through his body, Justin let Brian set the pace, moving his hips in time with Brian's thrusts.  This was so familiar to him, ingrained in every cell of his body.

 

You're his baby duck.

 

Was it possible for two people to become so close physically, that they bonded in some chemical way?  Why was Brian the only man to ever excite him this much?  To know his body better than Justin did himself?

 

His cock rubbed against the window, cool versus the burning heat behind.  It did not give him enough friction, however, and a frustrated moan brought Brian's hand to his erection.

 

"Fuck."  He pushed back, taking Brian in deeper, smiling at the appreciative grunt from the man behind him.  In response, Brian wrapped an arm around Justin's chest, pulling him back from the window, his other hand giving Justin the contact he needed.  Justin just leaned back and let go, letting Brian have control, resting the back of his head on Brian's shoulder.

 

He came hard on the window, convulsing within Brian's embrace and struggling to maintain his balance.  Another shallow thrust and Brian came also, uttering a strangled groan against Justin's neck.  They rocked back and forth, riding out their orgasms, not even noticing their entwined fingers on Justin's chest.

 

Brian broke away first, gently pulling out and discarding the condom while Justin sprawled on the leather sofa in exhaustion.  He glanced at the window with amusement as Brian went to the bathroom.

 

"Um, I hope you clean your own office windows."

 

A short laugh came from the adjoining room.  "I should just leave it for housekeeping.  Wouldn't be any different than cleaning the back room."  He returned, holding out a wet towel for Justin.

 

"Not that I minded, but why didn't you take me to the back room?  It's what you always did before."  He finished and handed the towel back to Brian, who tossed it carelessly to the corner of the room.

 

"Maybe I didn't want other men pawing at you."

 

That was a novel idea.  Brian had never cared before.  Justin wondered just how much he had changed.

 

"I'm glad you decided to rebuild Babylon," he said, reaching for his clothes.  Brian gave him a searching look, and then shrugged.

 

"It was Michael who convinced me, actually.  I was going to sell it, put it behind me.  He reminded me of the importance of sending a message to the community."

 

"And what message is that?"

 

"You can't get rid of queers.  We will go on, in spite of the hetero bullshit."  Brian pulled his pants up with an emphatic yank.  "If they want to fuck with us, we'll fuck right back."

 

Justin finished dressing and moved to stand in front of Brian.

 

"You're different.  You didn't used to care about stuff like that."

 

"What can I say?"  Brian gave Justin a sardonic grin.  "Someone made me care."

 

"Michael?"

 

Brian ran the back of his fingers along Justin's cheek.

 

"You."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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