Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction

 

Brian carries Justin to the second floor apartment.  He has Justin's key so he takes him to his bedroom and gently places him on the bed.  Brian leans over and kisses Justin on the lips, for what he believes to be the last time.  "Goodnight my love and goodbye."  He turns to leave and sees Molly and Daphne standing in the doorway watching him.  "We'll leave at eight, as it will take four hours to reach Lancaster County."  Then he departs giving no explanation.  Justin lays unmoving, yet his eyes are open.  The drugs are still affecting him and he cannot move.  The women are unaware of the drug stupor Justin is experiencing and believe he should have pushed Brian away, and by not doing so he had welcomed the kiss.  They are now eager to return home.

 

 

 

The Jeep comes to a complete stop as they reach the front door of the Taylor's house.  The whole trip had been undertaken in silence as the women will not speak to Justin or Brian.   Justin and the women are accustomed to long periods of quiet, but for Brian it just amplified the mood, while allowing his mind to replay what his heart can't delete.

 

 

 

As Justin exits the vehicle his mind is racing as his chance of happiness is slipping away.  There are just so many things Justin wants to tell Brian; however this situation doesn't allow it.  Brian loves him, his words have revealed it, yet Brian doesn't want him in his world and if he is to voice what he wants, in front of the women, he might have no place where he belongs; as both worlds may reject him.  He forgives Brian for any wrong doing he thinks he is responsible for.  He blames himself for having flaunted himself in front of Brian, which may have led to Brian's impure thoughts.  He should never have stood naked in front of him and he should never have allowed Brian to kiss him as his wedding night should have been the night of his first kiss.  He should never have judged Brian's actions to be unclean, as it is not his place to judge others ‘Judge not lest you be judged'.  There is no opportunity to tell Brian this, or how his heart will not survive having this man leave him again; it will shatter his very being.

 

 

 

Brian exits the Jeep.  "We are fine to leave here Mr. Kinney."  Molly has reverted back to calling Brian, Mr. Kinney.

 

 

 

"I need to speak with your parents and tell them none of this is Justin's fault."

 

 

 

"I'm not sure how you will do that Mr. Kinney as Justin had a choice in letting you kiss him."

 

 

 

Only now did Brian realize the women thought Justin had just accepted his kiss.  They hadn't understood Justin had been drugged.  How much should he explain to them?  He elects to speak to Jennifer and Craig about the situation and not to Molly and Daphne.  Once Molly sees Brian's determination to speak with their parents she invites him in. 

 

 

 

Molly calls for her parents.  She doesn't yell.  There is no answer.  All four are now standing in the kitchen just forty eight hours after three of them had left for what should have been a year of fun, a year of Rumspringa (running around).  The house is spotless; there is nothing out of place, except for an envelope sitting on the kitchen table.  Brian notes the very large envelope is fully addressed to him and has the required postage attached.

 

 

 

Molly and Justin try to find their parents, but to no avail.   They suffer a prolonged and quiet period as they all sit around the table waiting for Jennifer and Craig.  When Brian can no longer endure it he declares they have waited long enough and he opens the envelope.  He wants to return to Pittsburgh tonight and indulge in some pain management; however, he fears there is nothing he can do for his heart.  There is nothing that will wipe his memory of why he is giving up Justin.

 

 

 

Inside the envelope there are various smaller size envelopes.  Brian removes them all and distributes one to Molly and one to Justin, yet he holds back with the envelope to Daphne's parents and the one to his father, Jack.  He opens the one that has his name printed on it.

 

 

 

Dear Brian

 

Although you have been very generous with your time, helping find a place for Rumspringa and watching over the children, I need to request additional generosity from you.  Molly will never be comfortable living outside our community and I hope when she is ready to return you will take her and the enclosed letter to Mr. and Mrs. Chanders.  The letter will explain our wishes for Molly and knowing the kindness of the Chanders they will take her in and raise her as one of their own.

 

 

 

Brian is reading the letter out loud and Molly's face crumbles in disbelief.  Brian is sure if she had heard the words any other way, than directly as he read them; she would not believe Jennifer and Craig's wishes for her future.  Brian is unable to help Molly with the rejection she feels from her parents as Molly will not let Brian or Justin near her.  Daphne is still with them so she tries to comfort Molly.  Daphne tells Molly they will be like sisters now, which is something they have always wanted.  The girls are very close, they are best of friends, which is why Daphne had chosen to go with Molly and Justin out into the world.  Brian takes the opportunity to read the remainder of the letter to himself while Daphne comforts Molly.  He's glad he did.

 

 

 

Please do not share this information with anyone.  We arrived here twenty three years ago on the run from the law, before either Justin or Molly were born.  The Amish community was a safe haven.  We undertook their beliefs to fit in and not draw attention to ourselves.  It is a way of life that suited us; the children grew up with respect and love.  Love of a community and love of their family.  We are only leaving because we have been informed the law is not far from finding us.  This is the reason we pushed the children to start Rumspringa, as we felt this is the best way for us to leave and not have them live life on the run with us.  Please destroy this letter once you have read it as we don't want to implicate you in any way.  The money we have left for the children is money we have made from the farm and is clean money.

 

 

 

After meeting you I realized this is also Justin's chance to leave the community so he can live his life as who he is and not just to fit in.  The few moments you and Justin shared here were very telling.  I have complete faith you will do the right thing and keep him safe in your world.

 

 

 

Brian concludes reading his letter while Justin and Molly open theirs.  Each letter told the children what is expected of them.  Molly is to live with the Chanders and Justin is to stay close to Brian and learn about the world where he belongs.  There is no mention in either letter as to why they have been abandoned.  The envelopes contain five thousand dollars, cash, for each child.  Each letter concludes with how much each child will be missed and will always be loved and wanted. 

 

 

 

Justin looks to Brian for reassurance.  "If you are sure."  The look on Justin's face said it all; his heart has started beating again now he knows Brian will be part of his future.  He nods his answer.  Although Brian is disappointed for Justin, as he has just been abandoned by his parents, he is ecstatic that they can start a life together. Brian can't believe it; whatever deity is giving them these opportunities to stay together cannot be against homosexual love.

 

 

 

Brian suggests Justin and Molly go and pack their remaining possessions; to which they inform him everything they own is in the luggage they carry.  They require very few possessions or material goods as they see them.  Brian then drives over to the Chanders house and distributes the letter to Mr. and Mrs. Chanders.  After several questions to Brian, which he can't answer or in some case won't answer, they accept Molly into their home.  They love Molly so Brian's answers wouldn't have made any difference to their decision.  Molly and Daphne did not bid Brian and Justin a farewell; even though Craig and Jennifer's departure had overwhelmed their past forty eight hours they wished to be no part of Justin and Brian's life.  They will not tell Daphne's parents about Brian kissing Justin, his declaration of love or any of the things they had seen on Liberty Avenue, and Brian saw no benefit in telling the women about Justin being drugged and having no say in the kiss, as he believes it will be easier for them to separate this way.

 

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