Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction

 

 

 

 

The sign on the door of Red Cape Comics was flipped to pronounce the store “open,” but traffic was slow, and that particular afternoon found the four occupants inside hanging out with little concern for would-be customers. Outdated music played from a local station on the radio, while Michael and Brian lingered near the front counter. Hunter sat slumped in the store’s lone velour armchair and Gus had his crayons spread out in one corner, scribbling away.

 

As Michael tabulated his most recent inventory and Brian sucked lazily on a candy that should have cost him seventy five cents, Hunter waved one of two comic books from his lap, complaining, “This issue of Rage is lame.”

 

Michael’s eyes slid over to where Hunter sat. The teenager was sprawled in the chair, book bag dumped to the side and comic book open in his hands. Another comic by a more mainstream author was resting atop his other leg.  “Who asked you?” Michael reprimanded with a scowl. “That’s a very important issue. It deals with themes of loss, recovery, uncertainty in the face of adversity…”

 

“Yeah yeah, where’s the sex?”

 

Raising his eyebrows, Brian popped the sucker out of his mouth to inquire, “No sex? In Rage?” He snorted, “I thought that’s all Rage and JT did.”

 

“Yeah well, not any more apparently,” Hunter commented distractedly. “IceTina escaped from the glacier and came back for revenge. She’s frozen JT’s memory. He’s totally cold to Rage.”

 

Brian raised his eyebrows at Michael, “Gee whiz; sounds like things are frigid between our favorite super-couple. Whatever will they do?” The candy back in his mouth, the dark-haired man spoke around its hindrance, “Where did you come up with such a lame story line? Don’t people buy that rag for the blowjobs?”

 

The shorter man twisted his lips apologetically. “That’s the story Justin drew, so I went with it.” Hesitating, he asked, “You don’t like it?”

 

“Of course he doesn’t; there’s NO SEX.”

 

“You get back to your homework young man! And keep your eye on Gus like you’re supposed to.”

 

At the reprimand, Hunter’s head turned to regard the industrious four year old, who was currently drawing what looked to be a very pink princess. “God help you if I’m the only straight male influence in your life,” the teen muttered quietly.

 

“In answer to your question Mikey,” Brian was announcing imperiously, “I like the comic just fine. But when it comes to art imitating life, I think you’ve got it wrong. JT isn’t that cold.”

 

“Yeah well how about Justin, huh? He’s pretty god damned messed up.”

 

Brian frowned, “You don’t even know what you’re talking about. He’s working on it.” Brian glanced conscientiously over to where he knew Hunter was trying to eavesdrop, leaning closer to Michael to add, “We’re working on it. You haven’t even seen him.”

 

“I saw him long enough to storyboard this latest issue! He acted like a complete stranger. Besides, I don’t really have to spend a ton of time with him to see things for what they are,” Michael was saying. “He’s a vampire now.”

 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

 

“Nothing.” Michael sighed. He could tell that his words were instantly putting Brian on the defensive, so he tried to hedge by explaining, “Look, I liked Justin a lot. Everybody did.”

 

“‘Did?’”

 

Do. It’s just that I’m not so sure it’s a good idea for you to be getting back together with him so fast. You should think this through. Do you even know what he’s like now? I mean you’re the one who told me about that guy he took a chomp out of in Babylon. Justin could be…”

 

Brian’s face had taken on that stony quality that meant he was hearing something which he didn’t much care to hear. “Could be what Michael? What exactly are you trying to say here?”

 

“He’s saying: you’ve got to be careful around vampires.”

 

Both Brian and Michael turned to face the teen who had spoken. In his corner, Gus laughed and mumbled something unintelligible. “Excuse me?” Brian asked.

 

“He’s probably afraid Justin’s going to flip out and eat you,” the teen supplied, fishing a calculator from his bag. “Like in this issue of Vampire Assassin.”

 

“This is real life Hunter. Justin isn’t some comic book character.”

 

“Yeah, and he already does ‘eat’ me. Most nights,” Brian said cockily. Looking back to Michael, he defended, “Justin isn’t dangerous, if that’s what you’re worried about. He just can’t remember certain things.”

 

“Does he drink blood?”

 

Again, both adults in the room looked peevishly back to Hunter. “I guess so,” Brian said, annoyed. “Not mine.”

 

“Well it says here that vampires have to drink blood every day. Drake does and—“

 

“—Drake?” Brian interrupted.

 

“Yeah, that’s the vampire’s name. Anyways he’s always fighting against these rages. Like, animalistic impulses to kill and shit. Like in this issue; he accidentally hurts this chick when he tries to—”

 

“—Really? How interesting.” Stalking over, Brian swiped the comic from the teen’s hands. “Give me that. I don’t know what they’re teaching in the eleventh grade these days, but you need to brush up on the concept of ‘reputable source material.’” Tossing the rag to Gus’s corner of the room, he informed, “Vampire Assassins is not exactly an academic reference.”

 

“Be careful how you treat the merchandise!” Michael scolded, mournfully eyeing the now-unsellable comic that Brian’s young son was scribbling on. “You know you should listen to him,” he told his friend. “Sure that’s just a comic but we’ve all heard stories about how people like that can be.”

 

“‘People like that’?”

 

“I’m sure Justin’s still a great guy and all, but you have to be practical here.”

 

“I am being practical,” Brian nearly growled, the forgotten candy gripped tightly in his hand. “I’m practically fucking him every night until he remembers how he feels. That’s all there is to it. Once he remembers, it’ll all be the way it used to be.”

 

Michael looked down, abashed by his friend’s angry reaction. “I hope he gets his memory back just as much as you do. But even if he does…”

 

When he does,” Brian corrected with sharp eyes.

 

“Even then, he won’t be the same and you know it. Look Bri: sometimes things change and they can’t go back to how they were before, no matter how much you want them to. So just be careful. There was a guy who got killed only a week ago by a vampire. Not even that far from here. I’m sure you heard about it.”

 

“Yeah I heard,” Brian sniped. “I also read about another half dozen violent crimes in the paper today. ALL committed by humans.”

 

“Fine,” Michael sighed.  “Be that way.”

 

“I’m not the one who’s being a prejudiced son of a bitch!”

 

“It’s not prejudice. It’s just the reality of the situation. There’s a reason there are laws to protect normal people from them. Just… please tread carefully,” Michael implored. “When Captain Astro joined forces with the Cosmic Cadet to save his home planet, he didn’t want to accept that the Nephilian race might not assimilate well with everybody else…”

 

“Oh for god’s sake!” Brian pushed himself roughly away from the store’s front counter, and from his meddlesome friend. “That was a comic book Michael! I’m not Captain Astro, and Justin is not Cosmic Cadet! He’s not another species, for Christ’s sake. He’s got a disease and he’s dealing with it.” Glaring at his friend, he hissed, “I’m surprised to hear all of this ‘be careful and keep to your own kind’ bullshit coming from you of all people. What about Ben?”

 

For the first time in their conversation, Michael’s face darkened. “What about Ben?”

 

“He’s got a disease too. He’s HIV positive and that makes him dangerous, yet you live with him and fuck him and aren’t worried about it.”

 

“Jesus Brian don’t be so crude.”

 

The provocative man waved a careless hand back towards Hunter. “It’s nothing the kid hasn’t heard before.”

 

“I meant around Gus! And for your information, Ben isn’t as dangerous as Justin. He’s not a vampire.”

 

“Oh Michael.” Brian gave one of his perfectly acidic smiles and leant in to hold the smaller man’s forehead against his own—a mockery of intimate closeness as he delivered the sting of, “He can still kill you.”

 

“Brian—”

 

“So until you find a way to erase that gaping hole in your logic, don’t talk to me about ‘treading carefully.’” Scowling as he moved to scoop Gus up, Brian added, “And don’t accept his art for the comic—which he’s damned good at and works hard on to make you money—if you’re just going to go behind his back and talk about him like a sub-human.” He moved for the door, Gus in tow.

 

The small shop bell jingled on their way out, and Michael was left to gape at the door. “Shit,” he cursed. Morosely, he looked down to where Brian had left the half-finished candy to stick against the countertop. “Shit.”

 

 “Ben’s right you know.”

 

“About what?” Michael asked despondently. Hunter was peering at him far too knowingly.

 

“You care too much about him. You don’t always have to be the one to tell him this shit. Let somebody else take the heat for once.”

 

The shop owner looked ruefully over at his too-perceptive son. “I like Justin. I do. I’m just trying to make sure Brian’s safe,” Michael said weakly. “He’s never been very responsible.”

 

“Dude, you sound like somebody’s mom. Chill out.” Tossing another copy of Vampire Assassin at his more stressful adoptive parent, Hunter advised, “Read that one. Drake gets back together with the chick in it.”

 

“You know, no matter how much I quote Captain Astro and Rage, what Brian said is true: they’re not real life.” Michael looked despondently down to the glossy cover in his hands. On it, a handsome man with a great body, dark clothes, and conspicuous fangs was making out with a buxom blonde woman. There were twin trails of red leaking down her neck as he embraced her, and the issue’s title read, “The Pains of Love.” The shop owner scoffed. He’d never been so annoyed by a comic book in his life. Real vampires were not like Drake. Brian couldn’t seem to see that, and Michael certainly didn’t know how to enlighten him. Maybe it was stupid, but Michael opened to the first page of Vampire Assassin anyways, and read.

 

---

 

“Can you hear me?” Justin was staring with goofy wide eyes, lips parted in curiosity. He held out a hesitant finger, wanting to poke the object of his scrutiny. But his fingers were covered in colorful oils, so he refrained.

 

“Can you see me?” Justin asked, staring at his friend. Evan was sitting cross-legged in their apartment, and though his eyes were open, the blonde vampire got the distinct feeling that he wasn’t quite awake. “Hellloo-o? he called into the other man’s face. He’d stopped drawing to come over and investigate his roommate’s intense stillness not a moment before. “Did you master waking state? Are you doing it now?” He waved a hand obnoxiously close to the other man’s placid features. “Evan? Earth to Evan. Are you awake?”

 

The wiry man blinked, moving just enough that a strand of black hair fell from behind his ear. “I am now,” he said pointedly. “You know, you can be really annoying when you put your mind to it.”

 

Justin moved away, grinning. “Sorry.” He took his set of oil pastels back up, continuing in his abandoned task. “So was that it? Did you finally do it?”

 

Evan was nodding. “Yeah. I think so.”

 

“I’m jealous,” the younger vampire murmured, fingers deftly applying pigment to his canvas.

 

“You’ll get it too.”

 

“Sure. Just like all those years that I tried to learn to whistle. Everyone was always telling me how easy it was once you did it; saying that it just had to come to me.” Justin rolled his eyes. “I still can’t fucking whistle.”

 

From his relaxed position on the floor, Evan snorted. “Well hopefully you get this soon enough.”

 

“What’s it like?”

 

The older vampire looked thoughtful for a moment, finally saying, “Like what I imagine a reeeally good meditative state would feel like.”

 

“Hm.”

 

“It was like I was completely aware of everything going on around me, but this small section of my mind—the part that’s really me—backed off somewhere further away. Somewhere quiet.”

 

“Sounds nice.”

 

“How long was I doing it for?”

 

Glancing out the window to view the fading sun, and then to the kitchen wall clock, Justin estimated, “Maybe two hours.”

 

“I feel like I just slept the best nine hours in my life.”

 

From in front of his easel, the blonde groaned. “Don’t say that. You’re making me really jealous.”

 

Standing, Evan made his way over to the couch. From there he could view what his roommate was working on. The Technicolor face of Brian Kinney stared out at him, and Evan tried to repress a scornful twist of the lips. “Yeah well, you seem to fill up your extra hours with plenty of activities.” It was clear that he’d referred to what the artist was currently working on. “Why’d you take it back from his loft anyway? You never said.”

 

Justin shrugged, not able to take his eyes away from where a bit of yellow was being added to the edge of Brian’s cheekbone. “That’s because I really don’t know. I started this drawing months ago and I’ve always just had a weird feeling about it; like I’m afraid it won’t amount to what it really should be. I remember that before the accident I couldn’t add to it for the longest time. But now I can.” He shook his head in confusion. “Funny how all it took was me falling out of love with him, to be able to draw his face again.”

 

“So you’re saying that you’re better at your art now that he’s gone?” Evan asked almost hopefully. Anything that he could do to keep Justin there with him, and away from those people from his old life, was worthwhile. But Justin was avidly negating his statement, saying,

 

“Of course not. Brian always inspired me in my art. He has great… well, great energy about him, to use a very cliché term. It’s just this one piece.” Silently, he smudged a bit of pastel to give shading to said man’s irises. “It’s like… a love letter in portrait form. I was afraid to get it wrong before.” He smirked, unseen, “But that fear’s gone, since I don’t actually love him anymore.”

 

“Maybe you weren’t meant to be with him?” Evan suggested, trying to sound casual about it. “Did you think of that?”

 

“Of course I’ve thought about it. With all that’s happened? How could I not?” Justin finally turned from his project to regard the other vampire. “But I’ve gotten some of my emotional memories back with him. That’s more than I ever thought possible. What if I can get back the rest?”

 

Evan shrugged, fiddling his hands in the nervous tick that was natural to him. “I mean: maybe you could but it wouldn’t really be the same. Everyone’s going to be different around you now. You’ll be different around them. You’re not human anymore.”

 

A disappointed sheen clouded over the blue sky of Justin’s eyes. He’d been afraid Evan would say that. “You think so?” he asked, unsure. He knew he was different, that much was true. It was why he preferred the company of Aiden and Evan so much. They shared in his experiences, in his newly-defined reality. Would all of his differences now really make his old life so unattainable? He hadn’t thought so, but Evan was the older, more experienced vampire, and now with what he was saying, Justin was beginning to doubt himself. “Did you um,” Justin swallowed, drawing temporarily forgotten. “Did you ever get back in contact with your family, after you were changed?”

 

Evan stilled where he sat, as he realized that this was a chance for him to sway his friend towards his way of thinking. Taking the opportunity, he admitted, “Yes. I wrote them first. I told them I’d kicked all of my habits and was sober, and even though I made no mention of the being-miraculously-turned-straight bullshit that they would’ve liked to hear, for the most part they seemed happy.”

 

“So?” Justin prompted, “What happened?”

 

“I went to see them,” Evan continued plainly, eyes filled with pain. “Everyone was upset about it, in their own way. My dad wouldn’t look at me. My mother acted like I’d died, like I wasn’t even her son.” A humorless chuckle escaped the wiry man’s throat, “My sister didn’t want her kids near me. She actually rushed them out of the room.”

 

“Jeeze.”

 

“Don’t expect too much from your old friends,” Evan advised quietly. “People can’t always help the way they feel about us. Just like we can’t help the fact that we’re different.”

 

“We’re not that different,” Justin mumbled.

 

“Have you seen the news lately?” Evan countered. “The way we get treated is bullshit. We’re just the scapegoat that humans use because they’re too fucking scared to deal with their own problems. Why should we try to live up to the standards they set for us, when they treat us like criminals anyway? Do you really think that people are any nicer to Aiden because he goes around wearing sweater vests and speaking all academically, drinking his shit from bottles?” The dark man snorted in disgust. “He plays human for them, but it doesn’t make any difference.”

 

Justin could only shrug at his friend’s assertions. He didn’t want to believe that he was so very different from other people. But he also knew that it was more than sun allergies and blood drinking that made him different. It was the way he saw color, heard sounds; the way that he never slept, never ate, never aged. It was the way he felt thrills of sexual desire and violence all at the same time, and how he sometimes just stared at people’s carotids, daydreaming about digging out their pulse. That wasn’t normal, and Justin was secretly terrified of the day that Brian—or someone else he’d once loved—would find out his secret.

 

His secret being that he was dangerously weird.

 

And it was almost as if Evan read his thoughts, because what he said next really hit home. “I’ll bet you’d try and play human for him. But look at it this way: what would Brian do,” he asked intrusively, “if he found out that you think about killing him when he fucks you?”

 

---

 

Justin and Evan stood inside the stark gymnasium of the 42nd street Krav Maga Studio. Sparring was going on, and they had yet to be noticed. Arms folded as he watched Kai practicing with his more advanced students, Justin addressed the man standing beside him. “How did you know?”

 

“Know what?”

 

“…That I think about killing Brian we he… when we’re together.”

 

Evan just huffed and shook his head, as if Justin was the most naive person in the world. “You have a lot to learn Justin.”

 

The blonde frowned. “I wish you’d explain it better than that.”

 

“What do you want me to say? We’re different dude. Some people like to be romantic and say that we’re ‘predators’, but maybe we’re actually a little bit psychotic. Either way, fucking and killing are just two sides to the same coin. It’s all erotic as hell. Just because humans can’t see that doesn’t make it less true.”

 

Chancing a wary glance to his friend, Justin ventured, “Have you ever wanted to kill anybody?”

 

“You mean besides my parents?” He snorted. “Of course. I even came close once.”

 

“What?!”

 

“This junkie I was feeding off of once. She was messed up, and her version of dirty talk was her begging me to rip her throat out.”

 

“Holy shit. …You didn’t, right?”

 

Evan maintained his steady gaze on the room and its occupants ahead. “No. But someone else obliged.”

 

Justin cursed again. He didn’t know how he felt about hearing that story. Surely he himself would know better than to play such dangerous games. Still, there was a comfort in knowing that he wasn’t the only one who felt these strange things, who thought these strange thoughts. He still couldn’t fathom explaining his violent impulses to Brian though. Evan’s question from earlier in the studio had really thrown the young vampire for a loop. Could Brian really accept him if he told him everything? Or did his ex-partner think that he could maintain Justin like he’d been before; his little stay at home vampire with a Wii system and pre-packaged meals? Shaking the thought from his head, Justin focused on the people that were fighting in the room ahead of them.

 

They’d come back to the studio at Evan’s request. The darker vampire had told him that he could easily demonstrate how poorly Justin fit in with his old life now. All he’d need was a time and place, with someone—anyone—from Justin’s past. And so here they were in the old gym where the blonde had cultivated his self-defense skills for so many months. Justin was nervous to be there, while Evan was simply eager to make his point.

 

Up ahead, a stressed shout called out one of the advanced students’ surrender. The sound waves of the shout reverberated around the room, and the toned form of an Asian instructor could be seen letting up on him. Kai pulled back, turning to face in the direction where Justin and Evan stood. That was when the two interloping vampires were finally noticed. Justin watched in confusion as his old teacher’s face morphed into an indescribable expression. He almost looked horrified, and Justin half-wondered if the man had somehow already heard about him being a vampire. “Maybe coming here was a bad idea,” the blonde muttered to Evan as the sick-looking instructor walked their way.

 

“Justin,” he uttered, once he’d approached them.

 

“Kai,” Justin greeted. “I uh, I’m sorry I haven’t been around.”

 

“I thought you were dead,” the other man shot out, sounding just as shocked as he looked. “Your boyfriend said you died.”

 

“He said that? When?” Looking over to Evan, Justin furrowed his brow. “Why would he say that?”

 

“Sounds like he considers you to be dead,” Evan remarked tersely. “He certainly felt free to lead your friends to think so. Real thoughtful of him.”

 

“Justin, what happened?” Kai was asking. “Where have you been?” Slowly, almost as if on cue, his eyes trailed down the length of the young man’s left arm. “What happened to your tattoo?”

 

Justin faltered, realizing that this would be the very first time that he had to announce to a friend that he was a vampire. The prospect felt much more intimidating than he would have thought. “I um. I was in an accident about two months ago,” he said lightly, the words feeling foreign on his lips. “To save my life, the doctors had to turn me into a… vampire. That’s why I’ve been away for so long.”

 

For a second, Kai just stood there looking like he hadn’t quite heard the other man, but then his features slowly morphed into a look of awkward understanding. “My god,” he muttered. “That’s crazy. Really?”

 

“No, he’s joking,” Evan said humorlessly.

 

“Shit. I can’t believe this.” Kai’s eyes tracked up and down the blonde’s form in newfound perspective. “Well are you alright? Did you want to um, start classes again?”

 

The response wasn’t what Justin had expected. In truth, he’d kind of thought Kai would hug him, say how glad he was that the young artist was alive, and then politely ask him to leave the building. But instead the coolly-styled instructor stood there, waiting for an answer to his query. “Um,” Justin considered, “Well I’d like to but I’m not sure if that would be safe. You see I’m a lot stronger now and I think I might…”

 

“Are you faster?”

 

“Huh?”

 

Kai repeated his question, “You said that you’re stronger. Are you faster?”

 

“Well… no.”

 

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem. You can fight me directly for practice, if you’re concerned about hurting the other students. You know how the game goes Justin; strength isn’t the most important weapon in a fighter’s arsenal.”

 

Canting his head in understanding, Justin ceded, “It’s speed.”

 

Kai grinned, and to the side, Evan grinned too. “You got it,” he said. “Now put your shit down and get on the mats. We’re going to see what you still remember.”

 

Justin smirked at the directive, his own personality, mixed with the more animalistic aspects of his new self, thrilling at the challenge. He slung his messenger bag to the side and told Evan that he’d be back in a few, and walked back out into the practice ring that he hadn’t even realized he’d missed so much. Feelings of excitement swept through him. Feelings of power and of control, and he used those returned emotion to focus his energy towards the man whom he would soon be trying to take down. “Bring it on,” he said to Kai, a grin on his face.

 

The two men went at each other, and though neither of them saw it, the fact was that Evan stood to the side of the arena, looking on with a satisfied smirk of his own. He knew exactly what he was doing, because he knew exactly what was going to happen on that practice mat in the next few minutes. “Go on Sunshine,” Evan muttered, daring to use the name that he knew implied the highest level of affection towards the other man. “Go on and fight him. Try to play human and see what happens.” He watched as they sparred, and he failed to wince when IT finally did happen, because he was only happy that it did. “Told you so,” the wiry man said to no one in particular as he continued to watch the scene unfold. Very soon he’d have Justin seeing the truth of the matter; that he simply couldn’t go back to living his old life as he had before.

 

And that in actuality: there was no good company for him other than Evan.

 

 

 

 

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