143:  Are Kinney-Men The Worst?

            “I think this is the perfect set… will definitely define the occasion… it’s totally appropriate for the moment and the deed soon at hand,” Ted enthusiastically told the jeweler, “Please ring it up for me?”  Then his cell rang.

“Cash, debit, or charge?”

"Charge," Ted answered as he handed the merchant his credit card and then he moved a few feet away from the salesman to answer his cell and converse with his caller.  

“Hi, Harry.  What’s up?”

“Teddy, where are you?  Everyone’s missing you.  You still plan to attend the party…  have to?  We have a helluva lot to celebrate:  the plastic surgeon was here the day before yesterday and removed the bandages from Brian’s face; Rosalind got an A in her calculus class; and it’s my birthday.”

“Wouldn’t miss any of that for the world, Harry.  I just had a last minute errand to take care of but I’m already inside New York and on my way now as we speak.  See you in a flash; and, Harry, I have a birthday present for you that you wouldn't believe!"

Ted paid for the jewelry and then hurried out of the store, got inside his vehicle and only had to drive just a few more blocks to get the rest of the way to the Kinney’s residence.

            “Hello, Mr. Theodore Schmidt, welcome to the party,” Rosalind opening the door and greeting her father’s boyfriend.  She then blew a party noisemaker at him and its end uncurled and hit him in the face.

“Roxie,” her father scoffed her, “Watch your manners or I’ll send you to your room and you’ll miss the rest of the party.”

“Loosen up, daddy… it’s a celebration, and I didn’t hurt Mr. Teddy; and I was on my way to my room anyway, you know. Come on everyone, let’s go there,” she invited Shadiquah and both their boyfriends to join her inside her bedroom.

“She’s right, Harry… you should loosen up a bit,” Ted ordered him.  “Rosalind is always so sweet.”

“Thank you, Mr. Teddy.”

“You’re welcome, dear.”

“She not always sweet, Teddy,” Harry only pretended to disagree.  “Hey!”  He then shouted after Rosalind and her friends,  “No hanky-panky now!  I’m warning you! I will be peeking my head in and out that bedroom and making periodical checks on you people,” Harold threatened.

“Really dad, what do you think we’re going to be doing in there… having an outright orgy or something?”

Rosalind and her friends then scurried away and then Harold looked Brian's way and tossed an evil eye at him. “Briannn," he ranted as he blamed him.

“Hey, the girl’s fifteen and she has access to the Internet now, so, you can’t hold me accountable for every foul thing that comes out of her mouth anymore… or what goes into it for that matter.”

“See it’s wisecracks like that that causes me to get on you all the time, Brian.”

“It’s not me that that kid has walked in on sucking cock around here,” Brian wickedly stated.

“Hi, everyone,” Ted thought he’ll give a belated greeting to act as referee between the two cousins.  He then bosomed up to Harold’s warm chest and said, “And happy birthday to the one great love of my life!”  They then kissed passionately on the mouth.

“Yuck!  Cool it, guys, will you!!” Brian was aghast at watching Ted and Harold smooch. “PDA from the two of you always seems to gross me out.  It’s like looking at Theodore making out with me, and that definitely makes me want to puke.”

“Oh by the way,” Ted complimented when he pulled out of the kiss, “Congratulations on the successful reconstructive surgery and finally getting those bandages removed, Brian.  You’re pretty again… not to mention Harold has his twin-cousin back.”

“No such thing as twin-cousins, Ted.  Give me a break, won’t you.  Besides I’ve always been the prettier one.”

“Harry, can I talk to you in the bedroom for a mere second?”  Ted then requested.

“Hey!”  Brian reprimanded the two men.  “There supposed to be a party going on!  It’s bad enough we got a houseful of horny teenagers who just ran off to fuck inside the other room… now you two want to run off and fuck too.  How rude is that!”

“We’ll only be a minute, Brian,” Ted responded.

“Oh well, if a minutes is all that it usually takes for you two guys then by all means,” Brian callously remarked, “Hop right to it and rush back here, will you?”

“Be right back, everyone,” Harold brushed off Brian’s mockery and announced.  Ted and he then marched to the bedroom.

”See you in a minute,” Brian mocked.

            “So, what’s up, Teddy?  Are we going to fuck or what?”  Harold grinned ear-to-ear as he playfully and seductively teased.  “Horny like that for me, babe?”

“Hmm… umm… why don’t you sit down on the bed, Harry, while I get down on one knee in front of you,” Ted grew quite serious and commanded.

“Blow job, huh… just as good?”  Harry crooned as he sat on the bed.

“No, I said down on one knee, Harry,” Ted said as he got down in front of him.

“One knee… that doesn’t mean what it usually means… does it?”  Harry kidded (really not expecting the obvious).

Ted smiled heartily then as he reached inside his pocket and presented the jewelry he had just purchased.  “Will you, Harold Jackmon Kinney, do me the honors of being my lawfully wedded husband?”

“What!”  Harold exclaimed as his smile instantaneously departed from him then and he looked stunned and sounded like he could gag on his own saliva.  “You’re kidding… right?  Thanks for pulling this gag in private though.  Can you imagine how embarrassed I would feel right now had you done this in front of everyone?”

“What?”  Ted looked terribly hurt and he rose to his feet.  “I’m quite serious, Harry, and I never thought I’d get this kind of reaction from you.  I thought it would be the perfect birthday present actually.  So, why are you’re being so nasty?  You might have even upstaged Brian with this latest antic.”

“Teddy, I’m sorry.  It’s just… just…”

“Just what, Harry?  All this time I thought you loved me.  But now I see you’re pretty much cut from the same cloth as your cousin Brian.  You Kinney-men are the worst… but you’re even worse than Brian, damn it!  Regardless that your cousin might have done the dumb idiotic thing of leaving Justin like he did, he at least had the good sense to recognize his soul mate when he first met him, and he didn’t hesitate to ask Justin for his hand in marriage… the first time that is.”

“I do love you, Teddy.  You know that.  It’s just most of my life I’ve been straight and…”

“You mean, you’ve been acting like you were straight.”

“Whatever,” Harry sighed frustratingly then.  “No offense and I definitely didn’t say that to hurt you, but still gender roles is well embedded in me.  I’ll always think of a person getting down on his knees to propose as a heterosexual thing… a man usually does that to a woman.  And, although I have no problems with other men marrying each other, it seems kind of weird for me to think of myself doing it.”

“Why, Harold, because people outside this tight knit circle of yours, such as your extended family and your co-workers would know for certain that you are gay then.  Harold, you’re actually starting to sound like that homophobe you once told me that you were.  However, I see you adjusted pretty well to getting your cock sucked by other males and jamming your dick up their ass!”

“Again whatever; but you getting down on one knee and suggesting that you and I get married is starting to sound like you regard me as a … umm… a… you know… a pussy.”

“Oh really, Harry?  Good you should mention that.  There are other ways I can make you feel like a pussy, you know, and I mean in a delightfully ecstatic way.  So, while we are on the subject… when are you going to finally let me be the one to do the penetration sometimes?”

 “Teddy, where’s all this grief coming from?  You never complained before.  I like the way things are with us already.  I certainly don’t want to change any things.”

“Another Kinney-man trait… always having to have things your way.  I got needs too, Harry, but you always insist on taking the lead and being the one on top all the time.  Why don’t you say yes to my proposal, and then on the honeymoon try spreading your legs for me at least once?  I can almost guarantee you that you’ll love it.  All gay men do… even your macho cousin Brian (although he might have too much pride to ever admit it to anyone).”

“Teddy, I’m so sorry.  I’m just not quite ready right now.  You got to give me some more time.”

“More time?  Are you kidding me!  Harry, you and I’ve been a couple for a almost two and half years now, and you were hanging out at clubs like Babylon even before we met.    How much more time do you need, damn it!  I swear Kinney-men are the worst!”  He bitched once more and then turned and stormed out of Harold’s bedroom.

“Teddyyyy,” Harold whined as he chased after him.

            “So what’s up?”  Brian asked when he saw Ted trot back inside the room looking as flushed as the most delicate crimson rose and Harold practically flew in behind him and looked just as distorted.

“Nothing,” Ted pouted.

“Someone’s getting married,” Harry announced.

“Whatttt?”  The other men (including Ted) chorused at Harold’s announcement.  Ted then asked, “You mean…”

“Hey!  Don’t ask me to accept your proposal twice, Teddy.”

“Wow!”  Ted then ran up to Harold and kissed all over his face.  “I don’t know what to say!  Other than you just made me the happiest man on the earth.”

“And just made me the sickest,” Brian mocked pretending to have the hardest time imagining a relative of his married to Theodore Schmidt.  However, beneath the surface he couldn’t be happier for the two men, and definitely wished them the best.  “Congrats… anyway.  But Theodore, make sure you get a prenup with that guy.”

Ted and Harold merely chuckled at Brian’s request but both of them looked a little ill at ease just then and unappreciatively sneered at the man in the wheelchair.

“Don’t take it personally… just a good sense formality,” Brian devilishly smirked.

“Double congrats, my boyz!”  Robert cheered as he robustly return the mood back to it’s past merrier temper, and then he sprang up from his chair and raced over to the men and gathered them both up into one single bear hug.

“Thanks,” Ted and Harold said to both Brian and Robert after the three men’s entanglement ended.

“So when is this ungodly event going to happen?”  Brian continued to callously taunt.

“That depends,” Ted replied, “Mainly, Brian, on how soon you can literally stand up for us at the wedding.  You will do us the honors of being Harold and mine best man… won’t you?”  Ted then turned to Robert.  “You’re the doctor in the house.  So, how soon do you say Brian will be able to stand up for Harry and me?”

“Brian,” Robert addressed him personally.  “I say if you keep progressing the way that you are now, I see that happening in as little as three-and-half to four months.”

“You’re kidding,” Ted was absolutely astonished,  “That’s considerably a lot sooner than the one year you originally projected.”

“My original prognosis was six months to a year, Ted, and it’s been one month and a half already since Brian first started recovering… so that plus four more months is just about six months,” the therapist said, “I never seen anyone progress this quickly before though,” he further stated as he proudly looked his client’s way.  “But Brian’s always been in a class all by himself in every endeavor he’s ever taken on.”

“Well, now we have even a fourth reason to celebrate everyone,” Harold gregariously announced.  “Rosalind!”  He then called for his daughter.  “Bring your friends back in here!  Your old man’s getting married again, so, this party has definitely just moved up a notch!”

Rosalind and her friends then came pouring back into the living room full of smiles and giggles about the delightfully pleasing news.   “Dad, Mr. Teddy…  are you kidding me!”  Rosalind ran up to the new engaged couple.  “Are you really going to get married; I’m so happy for you.  I mean, step dad,” Rosalind was already teasing her father’s fiancé.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Ted said as he kissed his future stepdaughter's left jaw.  “And, by the way, congrats on your A in math, Rosalind.”

“Thank you, daddy-Teddy.”

“Will someone give me a break already,” Brian bellowed, followed by Rosalind’s best friend Shadiquah and the two male teens at that party simultaneously wishing the new engaged couple the very best.

“Congratulations!”  All Rosalind’s friends shouted altogether.

Robert then put on some really loud music and everyone started to dance. 

“Brian, let’s dance,” Robert said as he helped his client to his feet, and carefully guided him about, enabling even him to dance for a very short while.