Day before Justin's Departure to Vanderbilt...
"He's still out there." Will Walker didn't have to see his nephew to know he was still sitting on the front porch, because the steady creak-creak-creak of the wooden swing revealed his back-and-forth movements. About an hour earlier, Brian had hurriedly eaten a few bites of the supper his aunt had so meticulously prepared, only to ask to be excused, saying he wasn't hungry. He had hurriedly left out the back door after barely waiting for his uncle's nod of agreement before undoubtedly rushing over to a neighbor's home to visit a certain, soon-to-be college freshman who was leaving with his parents for Nashville tomorrow morning. To both his and Sarah's surprise, though, they had heard Brian return shortly afterward, only aware of it because of the sound of his footsteps on the front porch, and then the squeaking noise emanating from the wooden swing whose springs always seemed to need oiling. Brian hadn't spoken to them, or even entered the house. But from their places in the living room - Sarah finishing up a special project for Justin, and Will listening to the ball game on his trusty, portable radio - they could tell he was out there, and had been for over an hour now.
Sarah sighed as she put her knitting aside on the couch beside her and rose to her feet. "I'm going to go talk to him."
Will eyed her from above his reading glasses, a copy of the Saturday Evening Post held in his lap as he rocked back and forth slowly in his chair, a pipe clutched in his hand. He wasn't sure why he had felt the need to light up his father's old pipe instead of choosing a cigar tonight; perhaps it was due to some sort of nostalgia, or some sort of connection with his nephew's melancholia. He knew all too well by know how it felt to lose someone you loved, although the situation with Brian and the youngest Taylor boy was quite a bit different; at least they had the chance to see each other again. He could never make that same statement about his only son, but he was thankful for the family that he still had - including both Sarah and his nephew. He took a deep breath and nodded at her, knowing he could never talk his wife out of anything when she had her mind made up.
She half-smiled at him as she walked over to the front porch and slowly opened the door. There was no way she could sneak up on her nephew as she opened the solid, wooden door with the crystal handle; like the swing, it made far too much noise for her to ever succeed at being secretive. But she wasn't concerned about that; she was concerned about the young man she was able to detect through the soft light cast through the living room window. Brian looked up as she opened the door, his shoulders hunched over and his hands clasped in his lap as his feet slowly propelled him forward and then backward on the swing, over and over again.
Sarah walked over and quietly sat down beside her nephew, who stopped the swing long enough for her to join him. The two of them swung back and forth for several seconds in companionable silence until Sarah looked up at the moonless, dark sky, lit with thousands of stars shining like glittering diamonds. It was one of the things she loved the most about living out in the country, away from the garish lights of the city. Out here, only the true scope of the universe and night sky could be seen, and as always it was a sight to behold, especially when the moon wasn't present to partially obscure it. She heard one of the cows baying in a mournful fashion out in the pasture as if echoing her nephew's sadness.
"Beautiful night," she commented softly at last.
Brian simply nodded, too caught up in his emotions to respond verbally.
"Still nothing?" she asked him, both of them knowing what she was referring to. Brian had been faithfully checking his email inbox every morning as soon as he awakened. But each day, he had come down to the kitchen for breakfast, his crestfallen look clearly indicating his disappointment.
Brian shook his head. "No," he whispered hoarsely, swallowing to try and tamp down his feelings. He sighed heavily, pressing his lips firmly together as if it could hold back his frustration. "Nothing. Besides, it's too late now anyway." He stared out at the front yard, the beauty of the night escaping him at the moment. It was hard to appreciate such things when your heart was breaking.
Sarah reached to grip his hand. "Don't give up, Brian. School doesn't actually start for a couple more weeks. You know what they said. You might not hear anything until even the day or two before school starts when you're on the wait list."
Brian nodded glumly. "I know. But the odds now..." He shook his head. "Why does he have to leave two weeks before the start of school, anyway?"
Sarah had to hold back her smile as she reminded him gently, "You know why. To get moved in, attend orientation, and just become overall familiar with his new surroundings. Besides, remember? His new instructor who's teaching the equine portion of his academics program wanted him to visit the stables to become better acquainted with the horses he'll be working with for the Art Therapy portion of his studies. Jennifer told me the instructor was very excited when he found out how much experience Justin has had with horses; he thinks he'll be a valuable resource for not only him, but also for his classmates who might not have ever even been on a horse."
Brian snorted. "Yeah...good for him." Sarah lifted an eyebrow at him in a decidedly 'schoolmarm' type fashion as he sighed again. "I know, I know; you don't have to say it. I AM happy for him, Aunt Sarah. Really. And I'm so fu...so damn proud of him, too, for what he's accomplished. But I was still hoping that...well, you know...that things could have been different." He cradled his head in his hands, leaning his elbows on his knees before he looked back up at her. "Now what am I going to do? Be content to just see him occasionally on weekends or over his breaks?" He shook his head in disbelief. He knew this day was coming; he had known it for months now; hell, almost from the beginning. Now that the day was almost here, however, he was finding it extremely difficult to accept.
"Honey, you're going to do what you have always done. You will support him; you will love him. You will always be there in his heart, no matter where he is. And you are NOT going to stop living your life, no matter what happens. But don't give up, either. Miracles do happen. They happen every day. In fact," she added, as they continued to swing slightly back and forth, "I happen to think it was a miracle that brought you here. Look what you have done, Brian. Look at how many lives you have changed, and the changes you have helped bring. Thanks to you, your uncle has started enjoying life again, instead of just existing from day-to-day. Do you know he's even thinking about having children from the elementary school come out for visits to the farm, just to learn about living here?"
Brian turned to look at her with a frown across his forehead. "He is? Why?"
She smiled with a nod. "Yes. Because nowadays more and more of the kids in school aren't even exposed anymore to farm life. Too many of the neighbors we used to know have had to sell and move away. He wants to make sure that the children are aware that food doesn't just appear miraculously at a grocery store. He wants to help develop a better appreciation of the life we live here, and hopefully help to preserve it for the future. And..." she paused for a moment, ...he's hoping eventually that YOU might want to live here permanently."
Brian's eyes widened in shock. "Me? Live here permanently?" He shook his head regretfully. "I don't know, Aunt Sarah. Don't get me wrong; I really like living here, for a lot of reasons. And not just because this is where I met Justin," he hastened to explain, although to him that was one of the best reasons, if not THE best reason, along with meeting his aunt and uncle, the family that had literally changed his life. "But while I have a lot of respect for farmers, especially now, I just can't see me living this sort of lifestyle on an ongoing basis."
She nodded. "I know," she conceded. "But that doesn't mean that when we're gone...and you know that will happen eventually," she told him when he tried to interrupt her, not wanting to think of the inevitable, "...when we're gone, we're hoping that you will want to keep this land in the family somehow." She shuddered. "As much as I still love my sister, I would never want her to have this place; and especially not if she's with Jack. Neither one of them would appreciate this land and this house, or love it the way that we do. And I think you feel the same way. Too many farms have been auctioned off around here, and at the rate it's going, what we see right now each morning when we wake up may one day be either farms run by giant conglomerations, or some big shopping mall." She inhaled and let out a deep breath. "Will and I are determined that won't happen. This land is too beautiful - and our hearts are tied too deep to this soil - to ever let that happen."
She looked fondly at her nephew; even in the rather dim lighting coming from the living room, she could still see emotions warring on his face. "If you decide that's not what you want to do, Brian, it's okay. Will and I have talked about this, and if need be, we will place this land in a conservancy, so it will always remain just the way it is. We know you won't really need the land for investment purposes - goodness knows you will have enough to live on now with your inheritance - but we still hope that you will find a way to keep this farm in the family." She gazed out onto the front yard, the vista she had seen thousands of times before. "This has been mine and Will's home for a long time. It was Dale's home, too, and we had hoped that one day he might..." Her voice trailed off, and she cleared her throat to compose herself, feeling Brian's hand squeezing her in comfort. She nodded at him with a watery smile to signal she was okay. "But it wasn't meant to be...so we would be proud and happy if you would decide to take ownership of it one day. It will be yours once we're gone anyway. We have no other family left now. Except you."
Brian's eyes glistened; he was overwhelmed at the thought. He knew how much this farm meant to them. "Aunt Sarah...I, I don't know what to say," he murmured, temporarily forgetting about his own sorrows for the moment. "I..." He moistened his lips that had suddenly become dry before he replied, "I know how much this place means to you and Uncle Will. So don't worry; no matter what happens - or where I wind up in life - I will never see this farm destroyed. I wouldn't dishonor your wishes. I will find a way to make sure this place is always here, and preserved the way it is now." He took a deep breath. "In fact, I was thinking..."
Sarah eyed him curiously. "Thinking? About what?"
Brian hesitated; he figured he already knew what his aunt's reaction was going to be to what he was about to say, and he definitely could guess what his uncle's would be. But he had to try. "You and Uncle Will took me in when I really had no place to go," he told her. "If it hadn't been for the two of you, I would have wound up in a prison somewhere, probably for a long time. You agreed to let me stay here, even though you didn't know anything about me. I'd like to find a way to repay you for that."
"Brian...you have done more than enough for us. We don't need anything else."
But Brian obstinately shook his head. "I could never do enough for what you've given ME. I can finally help to make a difference here, thanks to the inheritance. I'm just talking about some cosmetic work for the farm to 'pretty it up,' as you like to say." Sarah couldn't help smiling at his choice of words; it did sound like something she would say. "And maybe, just maybe, have a few things fixed, like the washer that has the leak in the hot water hose, and the roof that forces you to place a bucket in that corner of Dale's bedroom ever time it storms so it won't soak the floor and warp it."
Sarah bit her lip as she hedged. It wasn't that they couldn't use all those things. And the thought of finally having a fresh coat of paint and a new roof on the house would be such a blessing. Perhaps they could restore it at least partially to its original glory. The majestic lady with the fading paint and elaborate scrollwork was not so grand anymore. Her bones were good, and her back was strong. But her skin was very worn, much like the palms of her husband's hands after years of hard labor in the fields, and their farmhouse definitely showed its age now. She recalled how lovely it used to look; could it look that way again? The way it had back when their son was still alive?
As if reading her mind and sensing her indecision, Brian urged her softly, "Please say yes. I'd like to do it as a sort of tribute...a tribute to Dale. And to the love you have for this place. It won't cost that much. But I know it would bring you - and my uncle - a lot of pleasure. And if it makes you happy, then it would make ME happy, too. Please, Aunt Sarah."
Sarah gazed down at their clasped hands before she let out a sigh. "Brian, that is so sweet of you to offer. And you'll never know how much that means to me. I would be lying if I didn't say how much I would love to see this old house restored to its former dignity. But Will...William is another matter. He's very proud, Brian. And to accept your very generous offer would take a lot for him to be persuaded. He would feel like it might make him less of a man, less of the person in charge, if he agrees to it, even if you can afford to do it."
Brian nodded. "I understand." He had expected as much, in fact. "But please, let me try. I'll talk to him. And if he just doesn't want the help...I'll respect his decision. Fair enough?"
Sarah nodded at him with a tender smile. "Okay. I can tell you really want to do this. But be prepared for him to say no, no matter how persuasive you might be."
Brian smiled. "Well, in my high school class on economics, I could be VERY persuasive. The teacher was always saying I could sell ice to an Eskimo in my marketing projects."
Sarah grinned. "Well, let's hope you haven't lost your touch." Her smile faded somewhat as she noticed the storm clouds in her nephew's eyes again; the same look he had had every time he had come downstairs to the kitchen table for the past several weeks. "Don't give up, Brian," she told him, knowing he would understand her comment had nothing to do with what he was going to discuss with his uncle. "Like I said, miracles happen every day. You came here, didn't you? To me and to Will, you were our miracle. You still are."
Brian's eyes teared up. "Aunt Sarah?" he whispered.
"Yes?"
"Why does love make you feel such joy one minute...and then utter despair and sadness the next?"
Sarah's heart clenched in sympathy as she let go of Brian's hand to wrap her arm around his shoulders. Pulling him closer to her body, she knew nothing she could say would change the way Brian felt. So she did the only thing she knew how to do to comfort him...she held him tightly like she used to do for her son when he was distressed, lightly rocking him in her arms as they continued to swing back and forth under the starry sky.
2:00 a.m. - Windswept Farm
Ping. Ping. Ping.
Justin's heart raced at the familiar light tapping on his window coming from the pebbles being thrown against the pane. He was wide awake even at this late hour, his thoughts on the boy who was undoubtedly below his window. Throwing back the covers, he rushed over to take a look.
Pushing aside the lightweight curtains, he glanced down and smiled at the familiar sight of his lover gazing up at him. Sliding the lower part of the window upward, he leaned outside long enough to call out softly, "I'll be right down," before he turned and threw on some lightweight sleep pants over his briefs, grabbed his sneakers, and quietly shuffled to the bedroom door, taking care to try and not make any noise or step anywhere that was creaky as he descended the stairs heading down to the lower level.
In record time, he was walking to the kitchen's exterior door, wincing as the screen door squeaked when he opened it, but taking care to shut it slowly. He barely had time to turn around after closing the outer door before Brian had him pinned up against it, eagerly pressing his lips to his in a kiss that quickly grew heated as their tongues intertwined together, their arms sliding around each other's bodies to pull themselves even closer.
Justin could feel a pair of long hands roaming all over his back; he let out a gasp a few seconds later as they slid underneath his sleep pants and planted themselves over the curve of his buttocks, the smooth fabric of his briefs the only barrier between Brian's hands and the bare skin of his ass. "Brian," he moaned out as they finally broke their kiss. "Oh, God. I want you so much."
"You have me," was the instant, husky reply as Brian leaned in with the clear intention of stealing another kiss - and taking what he wanted so badly. He didn't know when he and Justin would be together again, and while he had tried to remain back at the farm and wait until later this morning to say his private goodbye to him, he had found that impossible to follow as he had lain in bed, unable to sleep. No matter how hard he had tried, he couldn't help thinking about this boy who was about to leave him, and before he knew it, he had slipped on some jeans, thrown on an unbuttoned, long-sleeved shirt, and grabbed his shoes before quietly heading over here with the strong suspicion and fervent hope that Justin, too, was awake. He had been enormously relieved to discover that he had been right. Now, as he held Justin in his arms, he found that he never wanted to let him go.
"Not here," Justin whispered. He wanted no possibility of being interrupted. This might very well be the last time he would see Brian in quite a while, and while he knew he would never forget anything about this incredible young man, he couldn't help wanting to be with him one last time. "Come on," he urged him softly, as he broke away from Brian to pull him toward the back porch
steps.
Despite the circumstances, Brian couldn't help grinning over his lover's urgency. "Impatient much?" he teased him as Justin practically forced him to jog alongside him. "Just where are you taking me, college boy? You think you can just have your way with me?"
"Damn straight I do," Justin told him firmly as he continued to pull him toward the Taylor's barn.
Brian chuckled over his confident response. "The hayloft, Farm Boy? How unoriginal." Well, at least it was a different hayloft this time. He could hear Justin's soft laughter in response...just before he stubbed his toe on a large rock he couldn't detect in the darkness, and felt pain lance through his foot and up his calf. "Ow! Shit!" he couldn't help growling as he gave a little hop. He found a set of fingers pressed instantly over his mouth in reaction.
"Shh! You'll wake up my mom and dad!"
"Kinky. I prefer just the two of us. And NO farm animals; I'm not into bestiality."
"We're not staying in the barn," he informed him. "Just stand there for a minute; I've got to get something."
Brian was more than willing to stay where he was; his toe was still throbbing from where he had stubbed it a little earlier, so he was more than content to stay in one spot while Justin shuffled into the barn; besides, the view from his vantage point was an extremely tantalizing one, he decided, as he watched Justin disappear into the barn. A few minutes later, he walked back out, carrying what appeared to be a couple of blankets, along with two saddles.
Brian's eyes widened in realization. "Are you crazy? You're expecting me to ride a horse in total darkness?"
"It's not totally dark," Justin pointed out as he shifted the fairly heavy bundles in his arms. "Here, take True Blue's." Brian warily accepted the saddle from him as Justin explained, "Horses can see fairly well in the dark; they have vision similar to dogs. Come on; we'll just ride out up into the field near the big oak tree. It's a clear shot up to there. It'll be fine. Or, if you're too scared to handle him..."
Brian could swear he saw an evil twinkle in his lover's eyes as he huffed in indignation. "Let's go," he demanded as Justin grinned back at him triumphantly, knowing that would be precisely how Brian would react. He never had been one to back down from a challenge, just like him. "Besides, I've never fucked a college boy before."
Approximately ten minutes later, it was apparent Justin knew what he had been talking about. The two horses currently were tied up several feet away to the massive oak tree that stood like a formidable tower in the daytime, providing a great deal of shade for both man and beast. Right now, however, its welcome shade was not relevant, nor important. And the two boys currently lying on top of the two flannel blankets that Justin had secured from the barn were too occupied at the moment with other matters to even contemplate its usefulness.
"Brian..." The stuffy, humid air of the evening had transformed into a more pleasant temperature several hours later, but even unclothed neither boy felt cold or uncomfortable. "Brian...Hmm...that feels so good." Justin's hand trailed along his lover's strong bicep, feeling the strength and tautness beneath his touch as Brian lips nuzzled his neck, his collarbone, and then his jaw before finding his mouth, biting the lush, lower lip playfully before sliding his tongue inside and deeply kissing him, their bodies melding together as hands and lips expressed their love and their passion, as well as their dread over what the morning's sunrise would bring them. "Brian, I'm...I can't say..." Justin swallowed hard as they pulled slightly apart, the lump in his throat like a deep knife piercing his heart.
"Shh..." Brian murmured soothingly, as he pressed his long fingers against the younger boy's lips. "Then don't say it. I'm not going to say it, and neither are you," he whispered, his hands sliding down Justin's arms as they lay side-by-side, facing each other. He gently pushed Justin onto his back and lay on top of him, noticing his blue eyes reflecting off the vast starlight above. He smiled at him. "You know what this reminds me of?" he asked him unexpectedly. Justin shook his head, curious. "It reminds me of the first day I saw you like this, except you were lying on top of the water down at the swimming hole, totally oblivious that you were being watched. I thought that you were the sexiest, hottest thing I had ever seen that day...and I still do."
Justin blushed deeply at the unexpected, heartfelt words, only sporadically expressed by his lover. He could still recall the first time he had laid eyes on Brian as he, his uncle, and aunt had slowed down in front of their house as he and Jared had been painting their fence. He had no way of knowing at that time how his life would change, merely with the appearance of this older boy; this stubborn but magnificent boy. "Brian..." he managed to whisper, his voice breaking with emotion as he gazed into his eyes. "Just for tonight...I want to forget about everything and everyone else. I only want to think about you."
The familiar melody of what Brian had come to recognize as country living enveloped the two of them as he nodded. He tuned out the crickets and tree frogs announcing their massive presence, the occasional, plaintive sound of one of the cows out in the pasture; the faraway, mournful wail of the train horn from down in the valley several miles away. Right now, all he wanted to see was the beautiful boy lying beneath him, feel the warmth and softness of Justin's skin, and savor the sound of his sighs and moans as he made love to him and brought him to the apex of pleasure.
He leaned down to tentatively press his lips against Justin's, nestling his legs on either side of the other boy as Justin caressed his back, his hands lightly traveling up and down his skin like fingers playing a fine instrument. He couldn't prevent the gasp that escaped his lips as Justin shifted underneath him, causing their quickly hardening cocks to rub against each other. He could feel the wetness against their lower bodies as he slid his tongue into Justin's mouth to thoroughly explore it, wanting to remember every nuance of Justin's body and memorize it for those times when they couldn't be together. It was not enough, though. It would never be nearly enough; it would always be an extremely poor substitute for the real thing. But it would have to do until he was able to be with him again.
Propping himself up on his elbows, he gave Justin one, last peck before his lips slowly traveled to the side of his jaw, down his neck and over to his right collarbone to lightly nip the hardness there, hearing Justin's sharp intake of breath and feeling his fingers gripping his arms tightly as Justin moaned out his name. "Oh, God, Brian," he breathed out as Brian's hands roamed lower as his lips moved over to Justin's right nipple, using his teeth to nip playfully at the pebbled flesh before his tongue flicked out to wet the hardened skin, feeling Justin's fingers fisting his hair as he whimpered, Brian knowing this was one of the younger boy's most sensitive erogenous zones. "I need you. Brian...please..." He squirmed as Brian's tongue moved down to tickle his belly button, swirling around the indentation as his hands skimmed over Justin's hips, loving him, worshiping him.
Justin moaned loudly, his arousal flaring as his cock grew unbearably hard and began to leak profusely. "Brian, now...no...not...not like this..."
Brian couldn't help taking the tip of his tongue and slowly flicking it over the tip of Justin's cock to take a quick taste of its essence before he slid back up Justin's body until they were face-to-face, pressing his lips against Justin's mouth to give him a brief taste of himself. "You want me inside you?" he whispered huskily, his voice hoarse and deep.
"Yeessss," Justin moaned loudly, his hands tightly gripping Brian's arms. "Now, Brian. I'm yours...always. Take me. Take me all night long."
Brian swallowed hard at the urgency in Justin's voice, his cock hardening dramatically over the desire he heard as he nodded; too overwhelmed to speak, he reached inside the pocket of his jeans to find a condom and a packet of lube. Rolling the condom onto his cock, he tore open the packet of lube to coat his fingers before softly instructing, "Put your legs on my shoulders, Justin. I want you to look at me when I'm inside you. I want to memorize everything about you."
Justin blinked back tears over the tender tone of Brian's voice as he did as his lover asked, hooking his feet over Brian's shoulders; a few seconds later, he felt the familiar coldness as Brian poked one finger, then two, inside him. He hissed slightly at the initial intrusion as his body greedily swallowed the other boy's fingers, making Brian pause. "No..." Justin croaked out. "Keep going. Brian, hurry," he urged him, feeling an overwhelming need to join with him, feel him, be marked by him.
He felt the withdrawal of Brian's fingers then and held his breath in anticipation. No matter how many times they did this most intimate of dances, his heart would always pound, and his breath would catch in his throat before he felt that initial press inside him. He wasn't disappointed as he experienced the initial push of Brian's cock, and then a firmer thrust as he felt the hardness surround him, envelop him, fill him. He lifted his pelvis in an attempt to bring Brian even closer, making the other boy grab his thighs and then push in harder.
"Ahhhh...yes..." Justin practically purred at the familiar fullness, his eyes locked on Brian's. "More...Give me more..." He gasped then as Brian thrust forcefully all the way in until their bodies were joined fully, warm, sweat-slickened skin pressed together as one.
For just a moment in time, Brian paused, almost as if he wanted to recall every possible second of what this sensation felt like, what it meant to make love to this incredible boy, before - as if in answer to a silent command - he pulled almost all the way out, and then plunged back in, thrusting smoothly all the way as Justin pushed up against him to heighten their pleasure. "Justin..." Brian's voice was thick with emotion, his throat threatening to close off his oxygen. "Fuck, I love you..."
Justin's breath hitched as they began their familiar dance of passion then, Brian thrusting in and out as his younger lover kept up with him, motion by motion, inch by inch. This time it wasn't a hurried act of frantic coupling; it was slow, languid, and tender, Brian teasing his lover by bringing him to the brink of climax, only to draw back just before his lover could reach orgasm.
"Brian," the younger boy whined in frustration, feeling like his heart would explode with desire. "Please...stop teasing me." It was torment, but the anticipation was making his heart pound. His fingers dug into Brian's arms as he squeezed his eyes shut, his heart threatening to burst from his chest. He wasn't sure he could last much longer, but Brian was playing him perfectly, touching every spot, kissing him everywhere, murmuring words of love that made his heart soar with joy, but also with sadness, knowing that tomorrow would be the first day without him by his side. "Brian, please..."
"Justin," was the almost reverent reply; Brian's pace slowly picked up as he rocked smoothly in and out of the slender body he now knew so well, perhaps even better than his own. The other boy's soft sighs and upward tilt of his hips each time they moved together urged him into a deeper and deeper swell of emotion. He pushed in harder now, his tempo increasing as he pulled back and then thrust back in again, unable to control himself, Justin's moans and sighs becoming more vocal and encouraging him to go faster. He knew Justin was close now by the way his eyes were squeezed shut, and how his hands were clenching the blanket beside him as he fought to maintain control. In a way, he wished he could go on making love to him all night long - and in a way, that would be true, because he intended to keep Justin in his arms all night long - but he also knew his own release was imminent. "Justin, let go," he urged him softly. "Come with me."
That entreaty - and Brian hitting his sweet spot over and over again - was all it took for Justin to erupt with pleasure, his muscles clenching around Brian's cock to hold it hostage and making Brian cry out with his own climax, his seed filling the condom as they both reached orgasm.
Brian fell onto his lover's body as Justin's legs dropped to the ground and he slid his feet down the blanket until they were lying flat, Brian's legs trapped between his. The rapid rise and fall of their chests indicated how violently both boys had come as Brian lay on top of his lover, too spent to move. He felt Justin's hands lightly traveling up and down his sweat-soaked back and then down to briefly curve around his buttocks before trailing back up to rest at mid-back, wrapping Justin in a warm embrace as he rested his head in the crook of the younger boy's neck, cheek-to-cheek. He slowly rose onto his elbows after several seconds to gaze into the darkened, blue eyes lit by the skylight above; Justin practically glowed with a light sheen all over his face, and his hair was plastered to his forehead. He was fucking beautiful, and it made Brian's heart both soar with love, but also plunge into despair over his pending loss. If only...he had wanted to share his plan with Justin. But what would have been the point if he couldn't have been sure? And now it appeared he wasn't going to be successful. Tomorrow, he would have to say goodbye, at least for now.
Justin had wanted him to accompany him and his parents to his boarding house at Vanderbilt. But ultimately he had decided he would rather spend time here with Justin alone in private. There would be one last chance for him to see Justin before he left in a few hours, anyway. It would be the hardest fucking thing he had ever done. But for Justin, he would do it. He would tell him to go and not look back. To be the biggest damn success Vanderbilt had ever seen. And he had no doubt he would be. No doubt at all.
"Brian?"
He blinked, realizing he had been lost in thought as he refocused his attention on the present. He noticed the concerned look on Justin's face, and immediately sought to reassure him. "I'm okay," he whispered with a half-smile.
"What were you thinking?" Justin whispered, staring into his eyes as his hands stilled on Brian's back.
Brian swallowed hard; he wouldn't tell him what he was really dwelling on. He did not want to lay any sort of guilt trip on his lover. Instead, he told him, "I was thinking how lucky I am to have come here to live with my aunt and uncle...how much different it is from where I used to live. How surprised I am that I have actually grown to like it here. And..." his voice trailed off as he continued to stare into Justin's eyes; those luminescent, expressive eyes; the eyes he could get lost in and happily never be found. "...and I was thinking how much I...I love you. And how much I'm going to miss you."
Justin's eyes teared up; he couldn't help it. "Oh, God, Brian. I was thinking the same thing," he choked out. "I'm going to miss you so much. It already hurts."
"I know," Brian murmured as he turned his body to gather Justin into his arms. Reaching for the extra blanket lying nearby, he pulled it over the two of them as he whispered, "Rest now. And then we can watch the sunrise together." Justin had always told him how spectacular a view the sunrise was from this particular knoll on the farm. In a few hours, he would find out for himself. But for now, all he wanted to do was hold Justin in his arms, and forget about what the daylight would bring.
With a nod, Justin burrowed into his body, wrapping his arms around Brian's waist as he lay his cheek against his shoulder. In a short while, he was sound asleep, leaving Brian to ponder what lay ahead, and to watch over him until daylight.
The Next Morning...
"Craig! Come here!" Jennifer yelled down from the second floor. The concern in his wife's voice caused Craig to sprint up the steps; he paused just long enough to locate her standing in front of their youngest son's bedroom.
"What's going on?" he asked as he hurried up to her.
"Nothing," Jennifer reported as she stood there at the door, her arms crossed over her chest. "Justin didn't come down for breakfast, and he's not in his room. He's not in the bathroom, either; Jared's in there taking a shower for work. Where could he be? He knew we wanted to leave soon." It would take almost three hours to reach Nashville, and both of them wanted to get an early start. Justin didn't have a lot of things he wanted to take, since the room he would be renting as a student came fully furnished. But they preferred to get back home before darkness set in; the whitetail deer seemed to appear everywhere, especially at dusk.
Craig snorted softly. "Well, I'm not sure where he is, but I'll give you one guess who he's with." He shook his head. "I thought they said goodbye last night after dinner."
Jennifer couldn't help sympathizing with her youngest child. She knew how deeply in love they seemed, and even she could recall a few times when she and Craig had to be apart due to his business travels. She suspected it was even worse with her tenderhearted son, however. "Well, I'll go ring the bell by the back door. He's bound to hear that."
Craig nodded, letting out an exasperated breath. He had come to accept Brian's role in his son's life, but during times like this, their relationship could make him quite frustrated. He had hoped he might have had a few more years before his youngest son had become so entangled in a relationship such as this one. But it was too late now. At least his boy was still going off to college as he had planned. Even he could see the folly of Justin remaining a sulky driver for the rest of his life, and he had to respect him for wanting to pursue a career that would involve helping others. "I'll go hitch up the trailer to the back of the pickup," he told her as she nodded, heading off toward the steps with Craig following along behind her.
A few minutes later, Jennifer grabbed the thick, braided rope attached to their supper bell and gave it a yank, creating a clanging sound that echoed throughout the surrounding farmland as the bell swung from side to side. Normally it was used to announce that a meal was ready; but it was also used on occasion to summon everyone back to the farm quickly.
As Craig headed toward the truck parked by the gate, Vic and Emmett walked out of the barn to determine why the bell had been rung, having eaten breakfast about an hour earlier.
"Fixin' to leave?" Vic asked as he walked up to Jennifer with Emmett, observing Craig backing the now-loaded pickup truck up to what normally served as their horse trailer; today, it was going to be used to haul some of Justin's personal items to his new home-away-from-home: a few souvenirs from his racing, a small rocking chair that had belonged to his grandmother, a few family photos, and some art supplies, along with a medium-sized laundry basket filled with personal hygiene items and his clothes. Inside the bed of the truck - strapped down on both sides of the vehicle - was Justin's easel and his much-loved, worn saddle he normally used when he rode Headstrong around the farm. He thought having it with him would bring him good luck.
Jennifer nodded at the two men. "Yes...as soon as we can find our son, that is," she told them wryly. Just then, she noticed Jared walking out of the house, his hair still wet from his shower. He frowned at the impromptu group gathered around the dinner bell. "What's up?" he asked them as Craig moved to join them, having emerged from the pickup after attaching the horse trailer. Jared looked around. "Where's the squirt?"
"That's what we're trying to find out," Craig told his son. "Have you seen Justin this morning?"
Jared shook his head. "He's not in his room? You know how he likes to sleep in until the last minute."
Craig let that comment slide; up until Jared had gotten his job in town - and almost died at the hands of the gambling mob - he would have been the last one to wake up in the morning. "No, he's not there. His bed's been slept in, but he's nowhere to be found."
Jared smirked. "Maybe you should check with the Walkers to find out where Kinney is. I think you might find the answer to your question then."
Craig suspected he was right. "Well, we have to leave in less than 30 minutes. Where IS that boy?" he sighed. "Jared, will you drive over to Sarah and Will Walker's and see if your brother is over there?"
"Some things never change," Jared muttered under his breath, thinking he would have to watch after his little brother forever.
"Jared..."
He threw up his hands. "Okay, okay...I'll go check. But if I don't hurry, I'll be late for work. Sheesh!" He turned and scuffled over to his beat-up car that had a motor far too powerful than was needed, and turned the engine over to start it...only to turn it off as he noticed Will and Sarah Walker walking toward them.
"Will...Sarah!" Jennifer called out to them, craning her neck to see around them, a hopeful expression on her face. "I was just about to have Jared come over and talk to you! Are Justin and Brian with you?"
Their neighbors shared a concerned look between them as Sarah explained, "No. We were coming over here to say goodbye to Justin before he left; we thought Brian had gotten up earlier to do the same. He's not here?"
All the adults turned to Jared as he heard him snort. "Told you so!" he remarked with a snicker. "Where you find one, you'll find the other." There was a hint of envy and perhaps jealousy in his voice as he spoke; the pain and awkwardness of having someone like Kinney stolen out from under him by his younger brother still gnawed at him to this day, even though he had finally come to terms with the notion. That didn't mean it still didn't hurt somewhat, however. "I'm heading off to work," he told them.
Jennifer looked shocked, even while she was worried about where her son had run off to. "Don't you want to stay and say goodbye to your brother? You won't see him for a while, you know."
Jared sighed heavily; he never cared for that sort of mushy shit anyway. "It's not like he's about to serve a prison sentence or something," he grumbled, quickly realizing how tactless that statement might have been as he peered over at the Walkers. "Nothing personal," he added as they peered silently over at him, inscrutable expressions on their faces. He suspected they never really cared for him. He knew they practically adored Justin, however, especially Sarah, who had fawned over him from the moment he had been born. Justin always had had a way of endearing himself to people, though. He couldn't deny that. "We talked last night," he explained to his mother. "And I did wish him good luck at school. We don't need to make a big deal out of it this morning, okay?"
Jennifer sighed this time, resigned. "Okay, then we'll just pass on your best wishes to him." In a way, perhaps it was best for Jared, she decided. If he had to witness the goodbye between his younger brother and the Walkers' nephew, she had an inkling that he wouldn't like it, because she knew it would only pinpoint even further how deeply they cared for each other - and how impossible it would be for Jared to even think he might have another chance with Brian, even with Justin absent. She knew in her heart there was no way Brian's feeling about her younger son would change; it was clearly broadcast in everything he did, said, and expressed - every time she saw them together.
"Yeah...do that," Jared told her, his voice a little flat as he tried to disguise his envy. Lucky little fucker, he couldn't help thinking as he put the older car in gear, and slowly drove off down the road toward the highway, relieved he wouldn't have to stay and witness the 'parting of the century.' He shook his head in irritation before turning onto the main road to head into town, trying to force the image from his sight. Just as his mother had suspected, when he had first heard about Justin's scholarship, he had been happy for him in a way, he guessed, but also envious of his young brother's success. But he had also - briefly - entertained the idea of taking advantage of Justin's absence to try and regain some ground with Brian Kinney. After all, even though he had pretty much resigned himself to not having any hope of interjecting himself between the two like he had before, anyone with an ounce of intelligence and a brain - and eyes - could see that Brian Kinney wasn't the type of boy who would go for long without having his 'needs' taken care of. And he wouldn't have minded being the recipient of that attention.
But unbeknownst to his parents, he had heard the tap-tap-tapping on his brother's bedroom window last night next to his own room, and had peered through his curtains a few minutes later, just in time to see Justin practically fly into the other boy's open arms. And that kiss he had witnessed...he couldn't describe it. In that one instant, he realized. Nothing he could have done back then when he had first met Kinney - and nothing he could do now - would ever break the bond these two shared. Even he could see that. While Kinney by his very nature was obviously a very sexual being, he had changed somehow under Justin's influence. The apathetic-appearing boy who had come to the Walker farm without any apparent conscience or concern for anyone other than himself had somehow been transformed into an entirely different person now. Was it Justin's doing? Sarah and Will Walker's? All of them? Hard to know. But he DID know that he would be wasting his time, trying to come onto the guy now. He was too besotted with the little squirt now for him to even waste trying.
Jennifer shook her head slightly as Jared revved up the motor and jammed his foot down onto the accelerator just a big too much, causing the engine to race as he drove too fast for her taste down the road; they had received only a little rain during the month, so the road was particularly dusty at the moment. Apparently Jared either didn't stop to think about how much would be thrown back into their mouths and eyes, or (as much as she hated to think it) he didn't care. She sighed as she gave Craig a long-suffering look.
Craig held up his hand. "I know, I know. He still has some manners to learn," he agreed. He, too, shook his head in exasperation as he watched the car he and his son had finally gotten operational heading way too fast down the road, hearing the tires screech as Jared pulled out abruptly onto the main road heading into town. He finally turned to his and Jennifer's neighbors to ask, "So you haven't seen either of them?" The two shook their heads, all of them not surprised that both boys were missing at the same time. "Emmett? Vic? When was the last time you saw either of them?"
Vic scratched the back of his head in thought. "Hmm...now that you mention it, I haven't seen either boy since yesterday afternoon when they were out at the practice track. I reckon they wanted to get in one more race against each other before Justin left today. After that, I got busy inside the barn and haven't seen them since." He turned to his nephew. "Em? What about you?"
Emmett's face turned red for some inexplicable reason. "Well..." he stammered.
"Emmett, if you know something, tell us," Vic demanded quietly. "The Taylors need to get going, and both of us have a lot of work to do today. Don't hem haw around."
"Well...I woke up last night to use the little boys' room," Emmett started to explain with a smile; 'bathroom' was such a mundane term, even for a trailer. "And...well...I did see them out the kitchen window."
Craig frowned. "Out the trailer's kitchen window? That overlooks the back field? What time?"
Emmett felt all eyes on him as he replied, "Oh...I didn't really glance at the clock, you know..."
Vic smiled in amusement, knowing Emmett probably knew exactly what time it was. That boy could practically tell time by feel. "Emmett...give it your best guess, then."
Emmett sighed, figuring there was no way around it. "I guess it would have to have been around 2? 2:30?"
"Two-thirty as in a.m.?" Craig exclaimed. Emmett nodded sheepishly. Craig sighed heavily as he peered over at his wife. "Jennifer...our son was out with their nephew at 2 o'clock in the morning? Do we even have to ask the reason why? And you wonder why I'm a little concerned about their relationship." He glanced over at the Walkers before adding, "No offense...but, well...this is my son's first serious relationship. His first REAL relationship at all."
Sarah reached over to grasp her husband's sleeve, a silent plea not to say anything he might regret. "I'm sure they're fine," she reassured the other man. "And I'm also sure you have nothing to worry about. Brian cares a great deal for your son...and I think we all know how obvious it is that he feels the same way about Brian. They're in love," she added, as if that was all the explanation they needed. "And...my notion would be that they wanted to say goodbye in private...alone."
Craig scoffed. "Goodbye..." He let that word hang in the air. Everyone knew just what sort of 'goodbye' that entailed. But what was he to do? At least their relationship would have to cool off for a while, since logistically speaking it would be impossible for the two of them to be together all the time now. That was at least some consolation. He had come to have a grudging respect for the Kinney boy. But he still harbored some reservations about a long-lasting relationship between him and his vulnerable son. Soon, however, Justin wouldn't be a boy; he would be a man. He knew he had to let Justin make his own decisions. But he was still his youngest, and would always be not only his youngest son, but the one who felt things the most deeply. He supposed he would never entirely rid himself of wanting to protect him. Ironic, however, how Jennifer seemed less concerned about them. But he could tell that even she was a bit worried at the moment. "Well...they've apparently had ample time now to say 'goodbye.' I'm going to go look for them..."
Vic smiled as he spied someone out of the corner of his eye, hastily speeding towards them from the soybean fields. "I don't think that will be necessary," he advised them with a wry grin.
Everyone's head turned to see Brian and Justin jogging towards them at breakneck speed from behind the barn; a sigh of relief escaped Jennifer's lips as she saw her son rushing up to them. "Justin! We were getting worried about you! Where have you been?" She shook her head as she noticed how flushed Justin's face was. She suspected it wasn't just because of how fast he had been running, either. "Never mind," she decided, before Craig had a chance to interject. "Run in and take a quick shower so we can get going. We have a long drive ahead of us."
Brian and Justin gazed at each other, Brian giving him a slight, almost imperceptible nod as he nodded back at his mother in acquiescence, relieved he wasn't apparently going to be drilled about his whereabouts - at least not yet. He had a feeling, though, that Brian might be the unlucky recipient of some serious discussion during his shower - and he had no doubt at all that his parents would be questioning him thoroughly on the way to Vanderbilt. But he didn't care. He wouldn't have traded all the time he had spent with Brian last night for anything.
Just as Justin suspected, as soon as Justin had disappeared inside the house, the questions began. "Brian," his uncle addressed him, his voice both quiet but stern, "You want to explain why you weren't at home this morning - and with Justin, no less?"
Brian sighed as he peered unblinkingly into his uncle's eyes. "Do you really have to ask that question, Uncle Will?" he replied quietly, knowing everyone's eyes were fixated on him, and feeling his cheeks warming in reaction. "I would think that would be obvious, wouldn't it?" He heard a sharp intake of breath from Justin's father as he added, "Well? It's not like everyone hadn't already figured it out anyway. I wanted some time alone with Justin to say goodbye - not in front of some big crowd. Can't you all understand that?" Maybe it had been way too long ago for them, Brian surmised. But surely at some point both of these couples had been in love the way that he and Justin were. The only difference he could see, however, was that he didn't plan on their relationship ever becoming predictable or...comfortable, not like he viewed theirs. That would be way too boring, and it was one of the things that drew him to Justin - the fact that he would never be the kind to 'go with the flow,' or do what everyone expected of him. Of that, he was certain.
Sarah exchanged a glance with Jennifer before speaking. "Yes, we can," she told him, before the two men could say otherwise. After all, Brian was right. Everyone had already ascertained where the two boys must have been; at least, that they had been together. That was self-evident. There was something touching about these two boys, and the way they cared for each other and protected each other. In a way, she envied them. She loved her husband deeply - and knew he felt the same - but she also regretted that they didn't have the same sort of passion that her nephew and Justin shared. Perhaps in time their love would transform into something more like hers and Will's. But somehow she doubted it. "It's just Craig and Jennifer needed to get going, and it was getting late and we had no way of finding the two of you."
"Well, we're here now," Brian grumbled, a little disappointed that he and Justin couldn't have had just a little more time. But as soon as they had heard that damn bell, they both instantly knew the reason why...and that their time had run out. He didn't want to think about that, but he couldn't think about anything else now.
Vic cleared his throat as everyone turned their attention to him. "Well, everything worked out all right," he pointed out sensibly.
Craig huffed, restless to get started. His youngest son's overnight dalliance with the Walkers' nephew had definitely not helped to keep them on schedule, but he knew it would be pointless to make an issue about it. "I'm going to double check the trailer hitch," he decided. "As soon as Justin's back outside, we need to get going," he told his wife, walking away toward their pickup truck, the horse trailer attached directly behind it.
Brian's heart pounded. This was the moment he had been dreading for months now. There was no more delaying, no more stalling. It was the time he had not wanted to face; the time to say goodbye. He licked his dry lips as he heard the back door bang open, his eyes fixed on his lover from the second he reappeared outside.
The intense look on both boys' faces was a clear signal to Will and Sarah as Brian's aunt spoke up. "Uh...Will and I will say our goodbyes now," she told Justin with a smile, her eyes watery. "Will and I will miss you, Justin! Promise me that you will keep in touch - and that you will come to visit us whenever you come home."
Justin smiled at her as he walked up to them, Brian standing a few feet away, slowly shuffling side-to-side on his feet, at once impatiently waiting to talk to Justin in private, but also not wanting to say goodbye. "I promise," he told her as she leaned in to kiss his cheek. "You know I'll be making a bee line over to your house for some of your homemade pie."
"And I'll have it ready for you," she assured him. Take care of yourself, Honey," she added as Justin nodded with a smile.
Will stuck out his weathered hand as Justin grasped the larger one in his. "Good luck, Son," he told the young man before letting go. He turned to his wife, knowing it wouldn't do any good to urge Brian to head home with them, at least not yet. "Brian, I'll need some help with the livestock this afternoon. I'll be out in the back pasture."
Brian nodded in response to his uncle's words, grateful that his uncle understood, but his eyes never left Justin's. Will shook his head in amusement before receiving a brief nod from his wife; reaching to clasp her hand, the two slowly walked back toward their home, realizing this would be the last time the two boys might be together for a long time.
Jennifer, too, sensed their need for one last moment alone, noticing she was more or less forgotten at the moment. "Uhh...I'm going to go back in the house and make sure you didn't forget anything, Sweetheart," she told Justin; a simple nod was the only confirmation she received that her son had heard her as she turned and headed up the walkway and then up the stairs to the back porch, closing the door behind her as she disappeared inside the house.
Only Emmett remained nearby, watching with rapt interest as the two boys stared into each other's eyes. He was unable to prevent a sniffle in reaction to the two lovers, causing Brian at last to peer over at him as if in shock, only now realizing that they were not alone. He arched an eyebrow at him significantly, clearly broadcasting his company was not welcome at the moment. Fortunately for Brian, Emmett was not only a sentimental type, but very perceptive as well.
Vic's nephew walked up to them with tears in his eyes, reaching impulsively to hug his friend as he told Justin, "I'm going to miss you, Baby. But you are going to be such a big success! And the impact you will have with all those children..." He sniffled again as Brian rolled his eyes in barely-controlled exasperation, mixed in with a hint of his old adversary, the green-eyed monster. A defiant gleam in his eye, Emmett pulled back slightly to glance over at Brian before he added just for good measure, "And those frat boys down there...whew! One look at you, and..." He grunted in surprise as Brian abruptly latched onto his wrist and pulled him apart from his lover.
"Yeah, yeah...Enough!" he growled in irritation as Emmett hid his smile, knowing precisely the reaction he would get. He figured it wouldn't hurt for Brian to know he wasn't the only one who would find this beautiful boy irresistible. "Say your ta-ta's and get going. I'm sure there's some manure that needs shoveling somewhere...other than here."
Justin exchanged a grin with Emmett, who huffed in indignation. "Thanks, Em," he told his friend. "But don't worry; I'll be back here all the time, and you can come visit me whenever you want. And we'll keep in touch, you know that."
"Well, just before I come, I'll text you my photo so you can hook me up with some of those hot jocks you'll meet. I'm sure you'll get acquainted with a lot of them."
Justin smiled broadly then, knowing exactly what Em was doing. "Not sure I'll be joining a fraternity or attending football games...but I'll be sure to keep your photo handy just in case."
With a blistering glare from Brian, Em nodded back at him, unfazed by the heat he could practically feel coming off the other boy in waves. "Okay...well...I'll go catch up with Vic. Take care, Baby!" With a wave, he grinned at Brian before he finally turned and walked toward the stables, at last leaving the two lovers alone.
Both boys knew it would be only a brief interlude, and that Justin's parents were nearby. But that didn't stop them from turning face-to-face to embrace one last time. They held each other tightly, arms holding each other as close as possible, until finally Brian loosened his hold, just enough to peer into Justin's face. Expressive blue eyes stared into hazel ones as they blinked back tears, Brian struggling to find the feelings he so wanted to convey, but always found so hard to express.
"Justin..." Brian swallowed thickly as he wrapped his arms even tighter around Justin's back to hold him close. "I..." He swallowed again and licked his parched lips. "Fuck, this is even harder than I thought it would be. I don't want to fucking say g...no, I won't say that word. I can't say that word. Because this is only going to be temporary," he vowed as Justin nodded, the tears blurring his vision now; a few escaped down his cheeks as he blinked, unable to stop them. Brian took his thumbs to gently wipe the moisture away as he held Justin's head in his hands as if to memorize his face. Although he knew that wasn't necessary; he knew he would be seeing that face in his dreams every night. That wasn't what he wanted, however; he wanted to see his face, yes; but he wanted to touch him, feel his warm body pressed against his, love him, make love to him.
He took a deep breath and let it out, trying to compose himself. For Justin's sake, he would stay strong. He knew how much this opportunity meant to his lover, and how torn he was about leaving him. He had to let him know that it would be okay. How, he didn't know. But there was no other option; he would make sure Justin succeeded and fulfilled his dream at all costs. "Justin, everything will be okay. You're strong; I'm strong. We will get through this." He paused for a moment to gather the strength to tell him what was in his heart; he knew it was now or never. "Our love for each other isn't going to change, no matter where we are, or how many miles separate us." He stared into Justin's eyes before declaring, "If I have to wait a week...a month...a year...a fucking lifetime. It doesn't matter how long it takes. When you're ready...when you've found your dream...I'll be waiting for you."
Now the tears flowed freely as Justin's throat constricted; choked with emotion, he didn't know if he could even speak. Instead, he threw himself back into Brian's arms, his hands sliding around to hold him tight. He had always felt so secure, so loved, so protected when Brian held him. How was he ever going to do this? "Oh, Brian," he cried out softly, his cheek pressed against his chest. "I'm going to miss you so much."
"And I you," Brian whispered, the two lovers totally oblivious to Jennifer observing them from the back window of the kitchen, realizing they needed one last time alone. From her vantage point, she noticed that even Craig had paused by the side of the trailer, giving them just a few more minutes. She knew he still wasn't totally convinced that Brian was the best choice for their son, but she also knew that Craig loved their son enough to let him find his own way. After all, very soon he was going to be a college freshman...a young man, not a boy.
Brian gripped the back of Justin's neck with his right hand as he cradled his body against his. He could feel the other boy's heart beating furiously against his chest...or was it his? Hearing Justin sniffle, with great reluctance he pulled back, gripping Justin's upper arms to allow a little space between them. "Time for you to go, Farm Boy. Time for you to show everyone what you're made of. Time to pursue your dream and reach your potential."
Justin stubbornly shook his head. "No, I'm not ready," he decided.
"Bullshit," was the gentle reproach. "Yes, you are. And you are going to prove it to me. You're going to prove it to everyone. Most of all, you're going to prove it to yourself. I have no doubt about that. None at all." He didn't know where he got the fortitude to let go of the other boy then, but he did. Now standing separate from him - and missing him terribly already - he urged him, "Now get out of here...get the hell out of here before I can't let you go. Please, Justin." He stepped further away from him to create more distance between them, already mourning the loss of contact.
Both boys turned slightly as they heard the back door open then and Jennifer walk down the steps to join them. She placed her hand on her son's shoulder. "Justin...honey...we have a three-hour drive, and it's getting late. We really do need to go," she reminded him, peering over at Brian with regret and sympathy. She could see the pain written all over his face, even though he was doing his best to disguise it for her son's sake, whose distress mirrored the older boy's.
Justin hurriedly wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt as he nodded back at her in acknowledgement. He swallowed down the lump in his throat as he managed to hoarsely tell Brian, "I'll call you later as soon as I get there."
Brian managed a weak smile and a nod as he told him, "You'd better," he warned him. He tried to make it come out as more of a teasing sort of threat, but it sounded more like a plea than a demand. "Later..." he echoed Justin's word as the other boy nodded, reaching out his hand toward Brian who quickly grasped it. Brian couldn't help it; he had to feel his body against his one last time. Pulling him closer, he pressed his lips against Justin's briefly, whispering against his cheek, "Remember what I said," before letting him go. "You're going to rock their world."
Justin nodded with a watery smile, feeling like his heart would break any moment, but knowing this moment was inevitable.
"Justin..."
Justin turned at the soft timbre of his mother's voice as she curled her arm around his shoulder and led him toward the car. Standing by the driver's side of the pickup, Craig nodded at them, opening the door to allow both his son and then Jennifer to slide in and over to the passenger side of the bench seat before he took his place behind the wheel.
Brian stood there frozen to the spot as he watched Craig start up the truck and slowly begin moving down the road, his eyes rooted on the boy whose loss he knew he would feel profoundly. It wasn't a death...but to him it felt just as painful. Justin's eyes followed his until they couldn't maintain contact anymore, and it was only then that Brian let out a deep sigh, his shoulders sagging as his eyes teared up. "Justin..." he whispered, somehow praying that he would get an answering response from his lover. But all he heard was the sound of the wind, an occasional whinny from one of the horses, or the cluck of a chicken...everything that reminded him of him. Taking a deep breath and purposely NOT looking over at the stables or the practice race track where Vic's friend, Eddie, was working with True Blue, he turned and slowly trudged back toward his aunt and uncle's farm - now sparkling under a coat of fresh, white paint - fearing his life would never be the same again.