Persistence of Memory

Chapter 9 – Dad

On Saturday morning Gus got a text from Brian, saying that his plane just landed from Chicago. Gus offered to come pick him up from the airport, but Brian suggested they meet up at Britin instead. Gus ran into the kitchen towards his mother who was sitting in the breakfast nook, drinking coffee and reading her customary Arts & Leisure section of the newspaper.

"Mama, Dad's back. I'm going to Britin to talk to him."

She looked at him with an almost fearful expression on her face. "Gus, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, mama. I have to." He answered, skillfully hiding his sudden nervousness.

"Good luck, honey. Really, good luck!" She whispered fervently.

"Thanks mama. Don't worry, everything's going to be OK. I promise." He smiled and ran out the door.

The drive to Britin seemed to take no time at all and he arrived there well ahead of his father. He went to the stables to greet the horses and their soft whinnies of appreciation for the apples he brought calmed his rapidly galloping nerves. After about twenty minutes in the stables he went into the house. Brian just got there five minutes before and was in his home office unpacking his briefcase.

"Hey, Sonnyboy!" Brian caught Gus in a bear hug as soon as he walked in, giving the top of his head an affectionate noogie. "Missed you." He mumbled into his ear.

"Missed you too, Dad." Gus spoke into his shoulder, inhaling the familiar scent of cigarettes and Armani cologne. Gus couldn't explain why, but he missed his Dad so much more when he was out of town. There were entire weeks when Brian was so busy with Kinnetik and Babylon, and Gus with school, that they didn't see each other in person at all, even though they were within a half hour or less driving distance from each other, depending on whether Brian stayed at Britin or at the loft. Gus did miss seeing Brian during those times too, but it was nothing like when he was away on travel. Every time Brian came back from a business trip, Gus felt somehow relieved and held on to him for a couple of extra minutes.

They let go of each other and laughed somewhat self-consciously over their obvious sentimentality. Then Brian began to unpack his briefcase and laptop bag again.

"So, I heard you had quite the eventful week, Sonnyboy."

"What?" Gus momentarily panicked, thinking that Brian somehow knew off him sleeping with Sunny. He knew that his Dad wouldn't have any problem with it at all and he normally didn't mind talking to his father about his sex life. However, in the last month he has gotten so much grief over using protection from various members of his family that it was the very last thing he wanted to hear at the moment.

"Carnegie Mellon." Brian explained and Gus sighed inwardly in relief. "Congratulation! Is it still your first choice or are you waiting to hear from other schools?"

"It WAS my first choice. As for waiting...you could say that yes, I am." Gus said evasively, the nerves starting to gallop within him again.

"Explain!" Brian caught a note of 'something'..."Trepidation?" he thought...in Gus's voice and was immediately concerned.

"Sunny won the Prieze Fellowship and got accepted to the London School of Economics. I am going to England with her." Gus explained as calmly as he possibly could.

At first, Brian thought he had misheard, but pretty quickly he realized that middle-age hasn't yet started to affect his hearing and that his extremely ambitious son was, in fact, talking about not going to school.

"WHAT?" Brian roared. "You are ditching your education for some girl?"

All of a sudden, out of absolutely nowhere Gus got a boost of confidence, his apprehension disappearing in an instant.

"She's not just some girl, Dad. I love her!" He declared with absolute conviction. "I'm IN LOVE with her and I will do anything, be anything and say anything to make her happy. And I am not ditching my education..."

"This is your future you are fucking with, Gus!" Brian interrupted angrily. "I like Rae, she's great. She's by far the best girlfriend you've had so far, but you are 17! You are too young to make these kind of life-changing decisions! I will not allow it!"

"Won't allow it?" Gus let out a short, derisive laugh. "What exactly are you going to to, Dad? Force me to go to college? How? When I turn 18 in August, I'll be a legal adult and you won't be able to do shit!"

"I can't believe Rae would convince you to do something this idiotic! I thought better of her. Running off to England at 18 because you think you are in love? It isn't worth it, Gus..."

That comment made Gus so mad, he thought his head would explode and he broke out in an angry torrent of words that he didn't think he could stop.

"I don't think that I am in love – I KNOW that I am! She's everything to me, Dad, everything! I am not going to lose her when there are other options, when there's a compromise. And she didn't convince me of anything, it was MY decision. Actually it was ours. We had our first fight, you know? A bad one. I acted just like you – called her Rae instead of Sunny, wouldn't let her explain anything, wouldn't listen, stormed off. But she came after me, called me on all my bullshit and we talked things through. We figured things out together, Dad, better than some adults I know." He took a ragged breath and continued speaking as if his life depended on it. "She didn't want me to go to London with her at first. She even suggested staying here herself, but I wouldn't let her. That Fellowship is an opportunity of a lifetime for her, something I would never begrudge. But neither one of us wanted to lose each other, so we compromised. I will defer my admission to Carnegie for a year and go to England with her. I have four months until we leave for London to find an internship, unpaid if need be, and a part time job, if necessary. And while there, I will apply to as many schools in England as I can and hopefully get in somewhere next year. This way even if we aren't in London together, at least we'll be in the same country – a bus or a train ride away, not an ocean apart for four years. If I don't get in anywhere, we decided that I'll come home and start school next fall at Carnegie. We decided not to worry about that until that happens. Hopefully, we won't have to worry about it at all."

"What about all your dreams, Gus, your ambitions. I am not saying there aren't any good schools in England, there are plenty, but none of them were part of your plan, part of your dream. You talked about going to Carnegie Mellon since you were a kid, now you are throwing it away for Rae? You are letting go of your opportunity of a lifetime for hers?"

"Dreams change, Dad, so do plans. I still want to study International Business and advertising, that's still part of my plan and I will get there eventually, have no doubt about that, Dad. I am just altering my plan a little bit, because Carnegie Mellon is not my opportunity of a lifetime, SHE is!"

"You are taking quite a gamble here Gus." Brian said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Why? Because I am essentially taking a year off, postponing going to school for a little bit? Lots of people do that. Three of my friends are doing exactly that – two are joining the peace corps for two years, one is taking an entire year off to backpack through Europe."

"What if you break up. What then?"

"Like I said, I'll come home and Carnegie will still be here. I am only deferring my admission, Dad, not declining it all together. We may be young, but Sunny and I aren't stupid. Both of us know how important education is, but we love each other and we want to give this a real shot, to see if this is more than just high-school infatuation, though Sunny and I are absolutely certain that it's not. So we compromised..."

"Compromised?" Now it was Brian's turn to laugh. "How? It sounds like you are giving up a hell of a lot to be with Rae, while she isn't giving up anything."

"Oh, yes, she is. She's giving up living in student housing, being with other 18-year-old first-years, being on her own, being single. We decided to save money by getting an apartment together right away, rather than waiting a year or two to live together as we originally planned to do here in the Pitts."

"Oh, my fucking God! My not-yet-18-year-old is talking about shacking up with his teenage girlfriend in domestic bliss! What is this, punishment for my many transgressions?" He said sarcastically, looking up into the ceiling as if talking to a deity above. Then looking straight at Gus he exclaimed, "You don't know what the fuck you are doing! You are too young to know what you want, who you love..."

"Punishment?" Gus interrupted, almost screaming, "Oh, that's rich, Dad! I heard rumors that once upon a time YOU 'shacked up' with someone when he was not-quite-yet-18. As for me not knowing what I want – bullshit! Fucking bullshit, Dad! You knew what you wanted out of life long before you were 17. Uncle Mike told me that you had a goal and a plan on how to achieve it by the time you were 15 years old. You did exactly as you wanted – EXACTLY – and succeeded without anyone's help! Why can't I do the same? Why is my choosing to include Sunny in my life and in my future, makes me suddenly incompetent to decide for myself? And what in God's name is wrong with 'domestic bliss', huh? I know there aren't a lot of teenagers my age who want to 'shack up', as you say, with their girlfriend, but THAT'S. WHAT. I. WANT! I am not going to apologize for it and I am not going to let her go, without giving her my all, without giving us a shot. I'd rather risk it all for her and for us – no excuses, no apologies and no regrets – than wonder for the rest of my life what might have been. If it doesn't work out and we break up – fine, so be it! But, at least I won't live the rest of my life wallowing in memories and wondering 'what if'. And don't even start talking to me about love, Dad! You are clearly not an expert here! Justin, though, now he knew how to love at fucking 17!"

"I am not going to talk about him!" Brian said before Gus could continue. He was rather staggered by his son's impassioned, furious speech, but nothing surprised him more than Gus throwing his own old motto in his face, completely for his own devices.

"Oh, yes you are, Dad! I've had enough secrets. By the way, HIS name is Justin, Dad, Justin Taylor and by all accounts he was the love of your miserable life!" Gus continued shouting, his anger uncontrollably rising. "He fell in love with you when he was my age – my age, damn it - and he went after you again, and again, and again, for years until you finally told him you loved him. Five years, Dad? It took you five fucking years? I'm sorry, Dad, but when given the choice between him and you, I'll take a page out his book any day and love Sunny, with my entire being for as long as I possibly can and fight for us until I can't fight any longer. Like Justin loved you since he was 17 and like he fought for you until that night 12 years ago. You finally had everything, or almost, yet, in the end you still managed to fuck it up!"

"How do you know about all this?" Brian whispered harshly. If he was surprised before, his astonishment now was beyond compare.

"I talked to Grams, uncle Mike, Em and mama. I was tired of being told I was too young. I wanted to know the truth, Dad. I wanted to know why someone I loved like another father just disappeared from my life one day and everyone in the family treated the subject like it was some tragic secret, like it was taboo. When I finally found out everything, I realized that I AM dead tired of having a family that tip toes around each other, that is afraid to get together for the holidays; that is afraid to fight with each other, like any normal family does. I am tired of having several birthday dinners, instead of just one. I want to have breakfast at the Liberty Diner all together. I want to have Sunday dinners at Grams' with the entire family there. I want you to stop punishing mama for being jealous and selfish, and all too fucking human, over a decade ago. I want you to stop doing the same to uncle Mike. I want to have one, ONE, graduation party, Dad. At my wedding reception, I want a family that's happy to be together and not walking around Britin like they are on eggshells..."

"Oh, God! Rae's not pregnant is she?" Brian's face immediately paled and he looked at Gus in actual fear.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, will it ever end!" Gus screamed and twisted his fingers in his hair in utter frustration. When he violently jerked them away, there were several auburn stands clinging to his fingers. "If Sunny was pregnant, do you really think we'd be talking of going to fucking London in a few months time? Seriously, Dad!"

"Shit! Sorry, Sonnyboy...but you mention the word 'wedding' at 17 and my mind immediately goes into a dark place." He said in chagrin, as color flooded back to his face so quickly that it looked like he was blushing furiously.

"As a matter of fact, Sunny and I did talk about getting married..." Gus paused for a few seconds for effect, in order to thoroughly enjoy watching the color drain from his father's face yet again and to a see look utter terror replace a previous slightly embarrassed expression. "but later, after college." He finished his sentence with relish and chuckled when he heard Brian slowly release a lung-full of air he didn't know he held. Gus, however, wasn't quite done torturing his father yet.

"We also talked about having kids – we want two. Yes, Dad, Sunny and I want to give you grandchildren! Oh, the horror, I know!" He added sarcastically. "Speaking of grandchildren, Dad, when someday in the far-away future I do have kids, I want them to grow up with my entire family around them – birthdays, holidays, school plays, sports meets, dance recitals, math competitions, band concerts, whatever-the-fuck they end up doing – I want EVERYONE to be there together, unlike when I was growing up. I want everyone to get the fuck over something that happened 12 years ago. I want my family to forgive and forget and be easy with each other again. But you know what I want most of all, Dad? I want you to be happy and I don't want you to be alone, and I believe that neither one will happen until you talk to Justin face-to-face and let go of the past."

"We are not talking about me or about Justin, Gus. We are talking about you and your wanting to.."

"I am going to London with Sunny, Dad. I am going with her whether you like it or not, end of discussion!" Gus said forcefully.

Brian's eyebrows rose into his hairline at those words and he suddenly remembered the night he met Justin and his "I'm going with him!" declaration. The parallels were unmistakeable and for a minute he was at a loss for words. But then, he looked at his son and all of a sudden saw an adult, rather than a young man on the brink of adulthood and he was immensely proud of him.

"End of discussion, huh?" He said with a small smile.

"About London, yes. About you and Justin, no."

"Gus..."

"What happened that night, Dad?" Gus pleaded. "You weren't exactly a saint yourself, yet, when it comes to that argument - which in my opinion was just one big fucking queen-out between all of you idiots – you keep everyone to a higher standard. I know you were hurt, Dad, but what uncle Mike said to Justin was beyond wrong and you did nothing. Why?"

Brian suddenly relented and decided to explain his side of the whole sordid story to his suddenly very grown up son. He hoped Gus would understand, even though there were times when even he didn't understand it all completely. He started speaking and couldn't stop, the words tumbling out his mouth almost of their own volition.

"I don't know why. I froze, completely froze. The first time Mikey said something like that, we were at the munchers' party... Justin came with his new boyfriend, Ethan. Mikey got upset on my behalf and shot his mouth off; thankfully no one heard him, but me. I wanted Mikey to just shut the fuck up, but he kept talking until he said something about Justin dying and I went a little nuts, slugged him. I was just so afraid that Justin would hear him, that I caught his jaw with a right hook so hard he went down. Mikey said essentially the same thing at Deb's 12 years ago. Except this time everyone heard him, including Justin...and I...to this day I don't know why I couldn't move, or think, or speak. I couldn't do anything, I could hardly breathe." Brian was now talking so softly that Gus stepped a few feet closer in order to hear better. His dad didn't notice him move, it looked like he was just as lost in the past as were the rest of the family when they told him of that night.

"I was staring at him" Brian continued, "and then he lost all color from his face and he looked just like he did in the ambulance on the way to the hospital after the bashing...well, without all the blood all over him, of course...but his face was that lifeless and I was suddenly back there in that damned ambulance, in that fucking hospital...but, then he moaned and I for some reason I thought 'thank God, he's alive'. Except he started spouting off some garbage about being dead to me, to the family and that's when I unfroze and got pissed off again. I kept thinking how could he say anything, ANYTHING at all to me about being dead, after what I went through? How could he think even for a minute, a moment, a fucking nano-second, that I would actually wish it, or agree with Michael? How could he think that I was pretending? I don't DO pretense; I never have. Denial, yes, I admit that, but never pretense. I DID change, but not just for him – for me and for us. I wanted to fucking change. Maybe at first I overdid it a little, but that's because we were still figuring things out...at least I was. By the end of that year apart, as hard and as frustrating as it was, we've somehow managed to get everything on an even keel, more or less. We were finding our groove, our stride, our balance...and then he just dismissed it all in a second because of a bunch of stupid lies. After I unfroze I got so pissed off, all I could think was 'after everything we've been though, how could he believe Mel or Lindsey, or Mikey or any of them?'. I kept saying to myself that he should have believed me and believed IN me, in us. How could he just dismiss everything just because we were all too fucking shocked to even react after what Mikey said! He dismissed me and us, and said that he was just done. I was too angry to see straight, so I shot my mouth off too, told him to go to hell..." Brian's voice trailed off and he fell silent.

"Dad, why didn't you do something after. Why didn't you go after him later, after all the dust had settled, all the smoke had cleared. Why didn't you go after him?" Brian snapped back to the present and looked at Gus sharply.

"Because I do go after anyone, or so I thought." A choked kind of a laugh escaped his throat; it was not at all an amused sound. "That was my rule, my principle. I've already broken way too many of my own rules for Justin and at that point I was too angry to add another one to the list. He wanted to leave, so I let him."

"You didn't have to break any rules, Dad. You just had to bend them a little, but you still didn't go after him...for what? To keep your pride? To be alone in this house, like …..like Miss fucking Havisham?"

"Miss Havisham? My, aren't we literary..."

"Dad, stop with the sarcasm already, please!" Gus implored. "Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life?"

"I'm not alone." his father denied vehemently. "I have you, Mickey, Auntie Em, the rest of the family..."

"Yeah...and each of them has someone they can talk to at night and wake up with in the morning, someone who loves them more than just as a friend..."

"I don't see Em shacked up with anyone."

"No, he hasn't found his version of Justin yet, but he's trying, Dad! He puts himself out there time and time again and someday he'll meet the love of his life too. You don't even try! You don't date, you haven't had a boyfriend since Justin!" Gus was so frustrated, he wanted to shake some sense into his father.

"I don't need one, Gus! When I need someone, there's always someone available and without any messy complications. I am just not built for relationships."

"Bullshit, Dad! OK, maybe you aren't built for relationships, plural. But you sure as hell were built for ONE of them. That's what everybody says. That's what the pictures that you keep hidden in your office say. That's what I remember from when I was too little to understand anything, but I felt it. You loved each other once, maybe you still do. And even if you don't, you need to see him, Dad. You need to talk to him, apologize to each other, forgive each other, so that you can forgive the family and they can forgive each other too. Then you'll be happy again."

"I am not unhappy, Gus. I am fine, content even. I have you, I have work that I love, a home – two, actually. I am not some pathetic queer who needs a man to complete him, Gus. I never have been and I never will be."

"No one is saying that you need a man to complete you Dad, least of all me. And yes, there are times when you are very happy, but they are rare. But I have never, never seen you as happy as you were when you were with Justin. I've looked though every single picture that I have of you – I have hundreds, by the way – you are smiling and you look happy in a lot of them, but your eyes are always sad, Dad. Always. They weren't sad in those pictures of you and Justin in your desk. You haven't let go of that night - it's still hurting you; like it's still hurting the rest of our family. All those things I talked about before – my high-school graduation, my college one, my wedding someday, birthday parties, Thanksgivings, Christmases – all that schmaltzy bullshit, Dad, I want to have it ALL and to celebrate it all with my entire family. None of that will happen without you talking to Justin and letting go of the past. If you can't do this for yourself, can you please do this for me?" He pleaded.

"I can't, Sonnyboy...I just can't see him." Brian said quietly.

"Why the fuck not?" Gus exclaimed.

"Because he's married!" Brian shouted angrily. "He's married! He's happy, Gus. Happy! That's all I've ever wanted for him and could never give him. I will NOT interfere with his life. He's..."

"He's a widower..." Gus said quietly.

"What?" Brain felt as if he was suddenly doused with cold water, instantly cooling his anger and agitation.

"Daniel Fletcher died in a car crash two years ago. Justin is a single dad and he's alone, like you." Gus continued in the same, quiet, almost soothing tone.

"Two years ago? Single dad?" Brian whispered in disbelief.

"They had a little girl. Wait...how do you know he's married? Who told you?"

"No one." Brian admitted without thinking.

"You were checking up on him, weren't you? Why didn't you just go after him?" Then he looked at his father's stricken expression and understood. "You did...you went after him, didn't you? When?"

"Not soon enough..." Brian sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "I didn't speak to anyone in the family for about six months. I basically threw myself into work after that night and I was so busy that I didn't even notice that seasons had changed. Then Ben ended up in the hospital. It was something fairly minor, but Mikey was convinced he was losing Ben. Debbie came by Kinnetik and begged me in tears to at least sit next to him at the hospital for just a few minutes. She was afraid that otherwise he'll end up in the psych ward – he was that freaked out. So, I did. After that, I slowly started speaking to everyone one by one, little by little. I tried not to think about that night at all, but eventually I couldn't help, but think. It took a couple of years for me to get my head out of my ass. So, I looked him up, went to London. I saw him leave his apartment with some guy and get into a cab. They were laughing about something and Justin looked so happy, so carefree, you know. Happy and carefree..." He sighed again, then continued. "I wanted to call out to him, but then I remembered his face devoid of any color, looking almost dead, right before he said he was done with me that night at Deb's... and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't spoil his happiness, Sonnyboy. So, I left. Every six months or so, I'd Google him or the gallery, to see what was going on in his life. Seven years ago I found out he got married. I got drunk, threw my computer against the wall, trashed my office and when I sobered up I decided to stop Googling him from then on. I went to the diner and toasted his happiness from across the ocean with a cup of black coffee."

"You should've been with Emmett, at least you'd have had champagne." Gus said sadly.

"What?"

"Auntie Em toasted him with a bottle of champagne and then cried because he wasn't toasting the two of you."

"Auntie Em cried...That's not at all surprising." Brian laughed softly.

"If you could forgive uncle Mike's words, why can't you forgive Justin, Dad?" Gus asked, going back to that night.

"It's not about forgiving Justin. Twelve years is a long time to think, Sonnyboy, over time I pretty much realized that there was nothing to forgive, not much anyway. We both screwed up; we both let stupid things like pride, stubbornness, mistrust and anger get in the way and we let outside forces destroy our relationship. If that required my forgiveness then he had it a long time ago. I just didn't realize it until it was way too late."

"What about the family?"

"They shouldn't have interfered, that's true. It's especially true of Mel and your mother. It's also true that I refused to discuss Justin or that night with anyone. I told them not to mention it to ME. I never said they weren't allowed to talk about it or him amongst each other. That was entirely their decision. Truth be told, for the longest time I didn't even realize that the family was fractured somehow. When I finally figured it out, it seemed too late to do anything about it and it was just plain easier for me to leave it the hell alone. It was selfish of me, I know. But, I had no idea you would even notice, Sonnyboy, or that it would affect you at all."

"I may have been just a kid, but I've never been stupid, Dad. Of course, I noticed, but no one would explain anything to me and everyone got upset when I asked...so eventually, I stopped asking too."

"I am sorry, Sonnyboy, you shouldn't have been dragged into my mess." Brian said sincerely.

"Don't apologize, Dad. I'd rather you DO something about it." He paused for a minute, thinking, then continued, "You still love Justin, don't you, Dad?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it still hurts. If you didn't love him, it wouldn't hurt anymore. If he was unimportant you wouldn't keep him close to you in pictures and drawings. You wouldn't have kept the house that is way too big for one person...and is in – gasp – the suburbs." Gus tried to joke to alleviate the tension and the sadness, but it fell a little bit flat.

"I told you, I bought the house for him."

"Yeah, and you LIVE in it. You love him, Dad. I can tell. You love him like I love Sunny." At that point Brian laughed. "Don't laugh, Dad, I am dead serious. You need to go to London and make up with him. He's single, you are single – so what's the problem?" Brian started to laugh again and laughed until tears appeared in his eyes.

"Oh, to be this young and stupidly idealistic again!" he exclaimed still laughing and rifled through Gus's hair, affectionately, "Actually, I don't think I've ever been this idealistic." Then his laughter died, he sighed and said, "It's been 12 years, Gus..."

"I don't think it's too late for you guys, if you really love each other. But, if it turns out to be too late, you still need to face him Dad, so that you can apologize for your part, tell him you forgive him for his and move on... and fucking start dating somebody for real, Dad!" Brian laughed again and gave Gus a quick, hard hug.

"I have a fucking amazing kid!" he thought, "The best in the world. So, maybe I should listen to him. Why the hell not..." he laughed again. "OK." Brian said as he released him.

"OK?" Gus screamed excitedly. "You'll go to London? You'll talk to him? When? When are you going?"

"Soon, Sonnyboy. I promise you, it'll be soon. But, there are a few very important things I need to take care of right here first." he picked up his cell, found a number and pressed the call button, switching it to speaker. He pressed a finger to his lips, asking Gus to be quiet. Gus nodded and watched his father curiously.

"Hi, Deb. It's Brian." He said when the line picked up. "This Sunday, tomorrow, family dinner, invite everyone!" He ordered.

Gus couldn't hear anything at first, but then the silence was broken by Deb's unmistakeable screech "EVERYONE?"

"Yes, Deb, everyone. You heard Sonnyboy got into Carnegie Mellon, right? Well, he, in his infinite wisdom, decided to postpone going to school for a year so that he can go to London with Rae. He thinks he's got it all figured out, the little shit! I think the entire family needs to get together to tell him..." he paused, looking at Gus's suddenly mutinous expression, then smiling wickedly continued, "to tell him what a completely crazy, not to mention ridiculously romantic and totally brave idea that is!" Gus's ecstatic smile lit up his entire face at those words making Brian realize that he was, in fact, doing the right thing.

There was silence on the other line again and then a hesitant "You are letting him go to London with Rae?"

"Yeah, Deb, I am. I can't stop him, so I'd rather support the two of them instead and I want the family to do the same. So, make sure everyone's there for dinner. Tell them I said it's non-negotiable. It's not just about London, we need to plan his high school graduation party, so we can celebrate it properly; meaning as a family, Deb, all together."

There was silence on the line again and then both Gus and Brian heard Deb weeping. It seemed she couldn't answer for a couple of minutes, then they heard tissues rustling, a nose blowing, a couple of hiccups and then she said in a wavering, overcome with emotion, very un-Deb-like voice:

"I'll call them, I'll call them right now! I'll make lasagna, tons of it. I know it's your favorite. Gus's too. I'll...I'll..." Brian laughed again, sounding happier and more carefree than he has in years.

"Deb, don't worry about it too much. Just get everyone together. We'll ALL figure out the rest."

At that point, Gus felt indescribably happy and all he could think of was, "YES!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*v~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*