Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction

Chapter 15

Brian lay in his bed on Christmas Eve with a joint clamped between his teeth as he tried to fight off the loneliness and silence that seemed to echo throughout the loft ever since Justin left. He hadn't had a good night's sleep since the night before the Rage party over eight months ago.

For awhile now Brian had been in a mental clash with himself. He had admitted to wanting Justin in his life and he had played himself  for a fool as he tried to convince himself that they could ‘just’ be friends. Every time he was around Justin his whole body went on alert, tingled just by being in his presence since the Ian..Ethan angst that lingered between them had vanished.

It was Brian's apprehension now that kept them apart. Could he really offer Justin an honest relationship without the all the tomfuckery? It was very apparent that Justin had become his own man and wouldn’t settle for less. He was fine being ‘just’ friends if that was all Brian could offer him, but Brian knew he longed for more. It was in the way they danced together on the floor of Babylon on the few nights Justin had arranged for Daphne or Debbie to babysit so he could go out. It amazed Brian that Justin would rather spend a few hours in his arms on the dance floor than in the backroom releasing the tension.

Gracin was a lot to fathom but damn it if he didn’t feel naturally protective from the moment he laid eyes on the tiny infant who looked so much like his older brother. At first he had a private hissy fit in his loft after he found out about the baby, and Justin's admission of  having no intentions of telling him in fear of Brian detesting him as a Stepford fag.

Once the anger and hurt subsided Brian's insecure side surfaced. Gracin and Molly had become Justin's first concern and he hated not knowing where he ranked. As the months passed he came to understand that just because Justin's life had changed it didn’t mean the Justin's feeling for him had. He observed that the bond between Gus and Justin had only grown stronger since Gracin's arrival. It was almost like Gus thought of Gracin as a little brother and it had melted his cold heart the way Gus mothered Gracin.

Fuck it all he was Brian Kinney and he had a very solid track record of getting what he wanted. When it came to Justin his rules didn’t matter anyway. He would break, bend and twist them to make sure Justin was a part of his life. He wanted Justin and he was just going to have to make up a new fucking rule book.

Pulling himself out of his swirling thoughts, he sat up, flicked his phone open and texted. “You awake?”

“Good night bottle, what’s up?” Justin responded quickly.

“Going to bed soon?”

“Probably not! Want to come over? I’m watching classic Christmas cartoons,” Justin offered before Brian had a chance to ask.

“Be there in twenty,” Brian responded as he pulled on a grey sweater and poured the rest of his beer down the drain before leaving the loft and its loneliness behind.

Brian knocked before he entered Justin's house and the delicious smell of popcorn assaulted his nose before he stepped into the family room.

“It’s ten thirty at night Justin,” Brian said teasingly as he cast an appalled look at the bowl of popcorn.

“It’s Christmas” Justin said cheekily.

“And?”

“That means that I don’t care” Justin said with a laugh, tossing Brian a snack sized package of twizzlers, his favorite. “Enjoy.”

“Thanks,” Brian said as he opened his non-fat treat, he could work out tomorrow. He didn't miss the shock that flickered on Justin's face or the sunshine smile that followed. Yes, the extra hour tomorrow was worth seeing that smile.

"So what are we watching?" Brian asked as soon as Justin came back with drinks.

"Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"

"Never seen it," Brian stated.

Justin stared for a moment before wrapping Brian's arms around him as he leaned on his strong chest to watch the show. 'It's a classic, my favorite Christmas cartoon since I was four. My mom used to have to hide the tape in March and she wouldn't retrieve it until after Thanksgiving."

Brian laughed quietly and stole a few pieces of popcorn as Justin pretended not to notice. Yes, maybe normalcy wasn't so bad.

A few cartoons later Brian woke to the sound of Gracin's hunger cry. Looking down at an exhausted Justin, he readjusted the sleeping man and made his way to the nursery upstairs.

“Hey little sun you should be sleeping,” Brian whispered as he leaned over the crib and picked up the sobbing infant who immediately shushed as soon as he felt Brian lift him from his bed.

“Don’t you start,” Brian whispered softly once Gracin realized that Justin didn’t have him. “Your big brother is exhausted, you’ve been hard on him so tonight we’re going to let him sleep and we’re going to hang out and get to know each other, capiche?”

“Gah ahh” Gacin cooed before giving Brian  his own version of the sunshine smile.

“Oh crap, you smiled” Brian said, not registering that he was grinning like an idiot back at the beaming infant. “You’ve done that before, right?” Brian asked, “Justin didn’t miss anything special or anything?”

Brian played with the wide awake baby for a while before Gracin decided he was ready for his bottle and bed again.

As soon as he entered the family room he knew he was busted by the tender look on Justin's face. “Let’s go to bed Justin,” Brian stated simply as he pulled Justin up from the couch, kissing him fully on the mouth.

Brian lay contentedly in Justin's bed as Justin snuggled into his side sound asleep. The rythm of Justin's even breathing pulled him under and he didn’t wake until Molly barged into the room demanding that they get up.

Chapter End Notes:

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