Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Author's Chapter Notes:

The girls arrive at camp with their fathers (sorry, though - no meeting with the boys yet!), as Brian and Justin continue to dwell on what might or could have been...

 

 

Two Hours Later

“How much longer, Dad?” Katie asked her father as she squirmed restlessly in her first-class seat; she had spent the last five hours alternatively listening to her I-Pod and sketching, in between being fed  brunch around 11:00, but she was getting fidgety now.  When her father had told her where Camp Pinewood was, she figured by plane it might take a couple of hours or so, not the several hours they had already endured in the air. 

 

Brian glanced up from his copy of the Wall Street Journal through his wireless reading glasses and smiled at her indulgently.  “About another hour and a half, Princess,” he told her softly.  Brian pushed his glasses back up on his nose and sighed in irritation; he had practically gone kicking and screaming to the optometrist’s office about a year ago when Cynthia had started complaining that he was missing words on some of the ad mockups that were being discussed at their strategy meetings.  Only his most trusted, long-time assistant would be able to get away with telling him his eyesight wasn’t as good as it used to be.  He had fucking hated to have to get his eyes tested, because deep down he knew she was right – he could tell his close-up reading ability had deteriorated a little over the years.  But it was a major blow to the last vestiges of his vanity and youth, and it still bothered him.  As he glanced at his daughter, though, whose blue eyes were peering back at him so intently, he realized there were more important things than worrying about some minor eyesight loss.  He looked down curiously at the pad of paper she was doodling on.  “What’s that?” he asked tenderly with a smile and a nudge of his chin, acknowledging a charcoal sketch she had been working on ever since they had taken off.  He could tell it was a portrait of some kind, but from his vantage point the subject matter was mainly obscured.

 

She looked back at her sketchpad almost bashfully before saying, “Just something I thought up in my head.”  She hastily placed both of her slim hands on either side of the pad as if she were shielding it from view.

 

Brian leaned over to try and take a closer look.  “Can I see?” he asked her, noticing Katie licking her lips nervously.  Normally she couldn’t be stopped from showing it off whenever she drew a picture – she practically thrust it under Brian’s nose every time she finished one.  This time, though, she was oddly reticent about revealing what she had drawn.  “Come on, Honey, let me see it.” 

 

“Promise you won’t get mad,” she said softly as she looked over at him in odd apprehension. 

 

Brian frowned.  “Why would I get mad?  I always love whatever you draw.  Let me see,” he said a little more forcefully, getting a little concerned now.

 

Katie eyed her father warily for a few seconds before she answered finally, “Okay,” as she passed the sketchbook to her father and bit down on her thumb’s fingernail nervously as she looked over at him.  She wasn’t sure what his reaction would be to her subject matter, but she did notice her father’s eyebrows narrowing as he gazed at the portrait.

 

Brian sucked in a sharp intake of breath as he gazed down at a face that haunted his every dream. “Where did you get the idea for this?” he asked a little more brusquely than he had intended.  He couldn’t help it, though; there was no doubt where his daughter had gotten her artistic talent, and it was painfully staring him right in the face presently.  The angular chin, the delicate, seashell ears, the wispy hair hanging down almost in the eyes that he knew if they were in color would be as blue as an early spring day, and the full lips that he recalled were so soft and kissable.  It was a remarkable likeness of the man he hadn’t stopped thinking about since they had parted eight years ago.  He looked back over at his daughter, whose eyes were wide with worry.  “I asked you a question, Katie,” he commanded as he glanced down once more at the drawing.  “Where did you get the idea for this from?”  He knew she couldn’t have gotten the inspiration from any photo he had shown her, although he did have one of Justin displayed in their home – on his desk in his personal office.  Even though the two of them were no longer together, he knew he couldn’t hide the fact that he was her father, nor did he want to.  He figured Justin at least deserved to have proper acknowledgment as her biological father, and besides, Jennifer was bound to have told her all sorts of stories about him anyway.  But as he stared at the incredible likeness of the man he still, yes damn it, loved, the pain of their separation was reopened again like a fresh wound that would never heal.

 

“I’m sorry, Dad,” she told him timidly, a little fearful of the somber expression on his face.  “Grandma gave me some new pictures of Daddy the last time I saw her and I just wanted to draw him.  She wanted me to have them,” she insisted, her words rushing out in a torrent of sorrow and regret over the look of hurt on her father’s face.  “I… I’m sorry,” she repeated, her eyes filling with tears over the thought that she had upset her father.  He had told her about her other Daddy – how he was an artist like her and had the same blue-colored eyes as she did.  He had told her how they had fallen in love and decided to have a child together with help from her Daddy’s best friend, Daphne, but that they had broken up shortly after she had been born.  She had never seen her other father in person, but her Dad let her do all sorts of things with her grandmother Jennifer, who was her Daddy’s mother, and he had made no secret of the photo he kept on his desk at home. 

 

Katie bit her lip in apprehension; she never told her father, but she had actually found a photo of the two of them in one of their books in the library.  She had gone in search of something to help her draw one night several weeks ago when she couldn’t sleep, and had found herself drawn to a book on one of the middle shelves with the name, Artistic Inspirations, on it.  The name on the front, and the colorful cover with its swirls of bold, dramatic maroons and navy blues had appealed to her sense of style, and she had curled up in one of their overstuffed, dark-brown leather chairs to take a better look at it, hoping to gain some ideas about new subjects to draw.  As she was flipping through the pages of the book, however, her heart had stopped when she had come to a slightly faded, 4 X 6 color photograph of what could only be both of her fathers.  Her one father was instantly recognizable even though the picture had apparently been taken some time ago from the looks of his longer, unkempt shock of dark brown hair and his younger appearance.  But she was mesmerized by the other man in the photo.  He was shorter than her father with blond hair a lighter shade than her own, but had the same facial features and blue eyes as she did.  And his smile – he had a smile that could light up a room.  The two were standing with her father’s arms around her biological father’s waist, and they were both glowing with happiness as he gave the smaller man a peck on the cheek for the camera.

 

Her eyes had filled with tears of longing as well as confusion over how someone who appeared to be so happy with each other could have gone their separate ways.  They looked so wonderful together, as if they had been made for each other.  What had happened?  How could everything have gone so wrong?  She had felt a little guilty taking the photograph from the art book, but she figured her father had either forgotten about the photograph altogether or perhaps didn’t even know about it, assuming from the book that it had been a memento of her biological father’s, so she had quietly slipped it into the pocket of her pajamas and crept back upstairs, book and all, to her bedroom where she had placed the treasured picture under her mattress for safekeeping.  Since then, she had taken it out often to look at it, finding that it provided her with a measure of comfort when she was scared or insecure, but leaving her with a strong longing to get to know her biological father better. 

 

She looked over at her father a little worried now, noticing how quiet he had become.  “Dad?” she called out softly.  If she was going to be in trouble for what she did, she figured she might as well get it over with.  She watched him continue to study the portrait she had drawn for a few seconds longer and take a deep breath before he silently handed the sketchbook back to her.  She breathed a sigh of relief as his expression softened and he reached over to lightly rub the back of his hand across her cheek.

 

Brian smiled at her wistfully and swallowed to compose himself before saying, “It’s okay, Honey.  I’m the one who should be sorry.  I didn’t mean to sound so harsh with you.  I guess your sketch just sort of took me by surprise, that’s all.”  He stared into the blue eyes that were so identical to Justin’s before he added a little more softly, “I guess it’s only natural that you’re curious about him.”  He couldn’t fault Jennifer, either, for wanting to share information about Justin – or photos – with her granddaughter.  Just because the two of them weren’t together anymore didn’t mean his daughter didn’t have a right to know about him…

 

“Dad,” he heard his daughter say as he came out of his reverie to gaze into her eyes.  “Can I ask you something?  About Daddy?”  Her father’s acknowledgment about her need to know more about her other father prompted her courage to press him.

 

Brian held his breath for a second before replying, “Sure, Honey.  What?”

 

“Did you fall out of love with him?  Is that why you broke up?”

 

Brian closed his eyes for a second, feeling the pain wash over him at the thought of exactly why they did end their relationship before replying honestly, “No, Princess.  I didn’t fall out of love with your father.  I…I still love him, I guess.”

 

Katie scrunched up her button nose, just like someone else he knew used to do as she asked in confusion, “Then why, Dad?  If you still love him…”

 

“It’s more complicated than that,” Brian responded a little curtly before he let out a heavy sigh.  “It’s hard to explain.  Someday when we have more time, maybe I’ll try to do that.”  The chime signaling their imminent arrival at the Cheboygan airport thankfully interrupted their awkward conversation as he added, “We’re almost at the airport – better put your seatbelt on and put your things away, Honey.”

 

Katie nodded, realizing her father was really trying to avoid any more intense discussion about her biological father, but also understanding that for some reason, he didn’t want to talk about him anymore.  Being grateful for what little she had been able to glean from their talk, she chose to let it drop for now, but she also resolved to make sure she pressed him further on it sometime later on.  As she placed her seat back in its upright position, she glanced at her father, noticing him staring out the window, apparently lost in thought.  She reached over to take her father’s hand as he curled his fingers around her smaller one in response but didn’t turn to look at her.

 


 

Same Time

 

Justin had to smile as he looked over at his daughter seated in the passenger seat of their rental car; she was holding up a small-mirrored compact to check out her hair with one hand and smoothing it down with her other, which was sort of ironic considering how mussed up her hair was no doubt going to be soon once she began participating in activities at the camp.  Their flight from Chicago to Cheboygan had been uneventful; he had actually thought of driving to their destination initially – it was only a four-and-a-half drive – but he knew how Kaylee began to squirm after a couple of hours or so in the car, so he chose instead to take the short, 25-minute flight from Chicago to the closest airport to the camp to save both of them the inconvenience. 

 

“Kaylee, you know you’ll be participating in a lot of outdoor activities at the camp,” Justin told her in amusement.  “I don’t think they’re really going to care whether every hair is in place.”

 

“Daddy,” she answered, a little annoyed.  “I’ll still know.”  She took one more look in the mirror before snapping it closed and placing it in her backpack lying next to her on the seat.  “I just want to look my best, that’s all.”  A sudden, horrible thought occurred to her as her eyes widened and she asked, “They don’t wear uniforms up there, do they?  If I have to wear something that looks like a Girl Scout uniform hand-me-down, I’ll just…”

 

“Relax, Honey, they don’t do that up there,” Justin assured her with a smile before she could go into full queen-out mode.  “It’s just your standard jeans and tee shirt wear…No uniforms.”  He observed his daughter relax somewhat as she nodded and turned to gaze out the car.  “It’s really pretty up here, isn’t it?” Justin commented, noticing the wide swaths of pine trees and lakes surrounding the countryside.  The homes were few and far between in this area, and when they did see one, they were tucked back into the trees or up on the hillsides where the view must be spectacular.  He imagined it would be quite relaxing to own either a year-round vacation home here or at least one you could escape to on the weekends, but it would be far too long a distance – or too expensive – to consider owning one himself.  While he made a comfortable income as an artist in Chicago, the cost of living was still astronomical, prohibiting him from buying anything quite as extravagant as a summer home.  Considering what his and his daughter’s life could have been like had he not been so successful in his career, though, he was grateful for what they did have.  At least it provided him with enough income that he hadn’t had to rely on anyone else’s salary like he used to.

 

The thought of the ‘old days’ caused his throat to constrict with the memories of just whose salary he had been dependent upon.  He sighed softly.  He never had liked taking Brian’s money, even though his former partner never seemed to have any problems providing it to him, and he had seen that Brian was paid back for every cent he had advanced him, at least as much as he could possibly calculate.  It was nearly impossible to accurately determine the cost of more intangible items such as food and lodging; fuck knows he had spent more time at Brian’s loft than anywhere else after they had met doing just that, despite Brian’s initial extreme reluctance to let him into his life.  And Brian had refused through his attorney to accept any of his money at all at first.  But he had finally managed to get Brian to take it by setting up a trust account for their daughter, Katie, for her college fund.  It wasn’t quite the same as Brian receiving the money personally, but it was as much as Brian’s pride would allow him to accept and Justin had the added knowledge of knowing it would go toward their daughter’s education.

 

“Is something wrong, Daddy?” he heard his daughter ask curiously.  He came back to the present as he glanced over at his daughter’s puzzled blue eyes; he hadn’t realized his morose thoughts had somehow been transmitted to her.

 

“No, Honey – why do you ask?”

 

His daughter smirked at him.  “Because I asked you something twice and you acted like you didn’t even hear me.” 

 

Justin gazed back at her sheepishly.  “I’m sorry, Kaylee.  I just had my mind on something else, that’s all.  What did you ask me?”

 

“I was saying – they do have hot running water and indoor plumbing up there, don’t they?”

 

Justin laughed at her grave look of concern.  “Yes, they have all the creature comforts of home as they say, except for no bathtub,” he assured her.  His mother had told him that she had waxed nostalgic with Kaylee a few months back, telling his daughter how her great-grandfather – Justin’s grandfather – had grown up in a house that had no indoor plumbing and an outhouse, and had told him about the horrified look on his daughter’s face as a result.  Apparently she hadn’t forgotten that and wanted to make sure she wasn’t being forced to live like a pioneer.  He smiled at her sympathetically.  “You’ll be fine, Honey, you’ll see.  You’ll love it!  You’ll be so busy for the two weeks you won’t even miss not having a bathtub.”

 

He heard his daughter snort softly.  “Nice try, Daddy, but trust me, I’ll miss it a lot.”

 

Justin grinned.  “You’ll come through just fine – and I’m sure you’ll be squeaky clean when I next see you, too.”  He gazed at his daughter’s cynical look before he added more softly, “You sure you’ll be okay from home for two weeks?”  Except for occasional weekend trips with his mother and an overnight sleepover with friends, this would be the first time he and his daughter had been apart for any length of time since she had been born. 

 

“Dad-dy,” she sing-songed, insulted.  “I’m not a little girl anymore.  I’ll be fine.  I think you’ll be the one who won’t be okay,” she said a little smugly.  “You’ll miss me.”

 

Thoughts of a time long ago when Justin had said something very much like that to Brian drifted through his head as he reached over to grab her hand and give it a brief squeeze before releasing it.  “You’re right, Sweetheart,” he admitted, finding his eyes glistening just a bit.  “I WILL miss you – tons.”  And it was true, too – he would miss her.  Kaylee was pretty much his life.  Oh, he had friends outside their home – mainly through his artwork – and he had Daphne’s support and love.  And he even had a steady boyfriend – an architect, Alex, that he had met a few years ago at the grand opening of a new art exhibition hall downtown.  They had an easygoing, congenial relationship.  It was not explosive or earth-shattering, and Alex’s lovemaking didn’t engender the same passion in him as Brian always did – after all, Brian had been his first love and he was Brian Kinney – but it was…nice.  Alex was a gentle and caring lover and a considerate, intelligent, and creative man.  They spent quiet nights at his condo, drinking wine and discussing art projects, or attending concerts or plays together and occasionally trying out new restaurants in town.  It was an unpressured, calm, and stable relationship, and gave Justin the companionship he craved at times.  Not that he didn’t love his daughter dearly – and he always made sure on his date nights with Alex that his daughter was either spending the night with a friend or spending time with Daphne or his mother – but sometimes he just needed the company of a peer if only to validate that he was still desired. 

 

He had long ago quit going out clubbing or to the bars – he would stop from time to time to meet with a potential client or to be interviewed by one of the art magazine reporters in town if he was asked to, but once his daughter had taken over his life (willingly, he was quick to add), he had found his priorities had changed.  She came first, and then his career.  His so-called social life was a distant third.  And he had to admit, Alex’s attitude when it came to his daughter was somewhat of a concern to him.  He was always polite enough around her – and never spoke negatively about her, respecting Justin’s desire to accommodate their dating schedule around his daughter’s needs – but he was almost, well, indifferent to her.  He was never rude to her, but on the other hand he wasn’t exactly effusive toward her, either; perhaps it was due to Alex never having any children of his own so he didn’t have any personal point of reference to use.  Whatever the reason, he hoped that somewhere down the road his boyfriend’s neutral attitude toward Kaylee would change, however, and he would grow to understand what an awesome young lady she was. 

 

He glanced up ahead and noticed the sign announcing their destination.  “Look, Kaylee, we’re almost there,” he reported.  “Just a couple more miles.”   He smiled in amusement as his daughter rolled her eyes; apparently while she was looking forward to checking out the myriad of activities the camp had on tap for the next two weeks, having to do without some of the “finer” things in life wasn’t making her overly enthusiastic about some other parts of it.  “You’ll have fun, trust me,” he told her enthusiastically.  At least he hoped so; he had had a blast going to camp when he was her age.  He could get away from other students at school who tended to pick on him for his petite stature and concentrate on some of the quieter activities at the camp, such as hiking, canoeing, and swimming.  If he wanted to be alone to draw, too, he could do that, also.  His daughter was very outgoing, unlike him; he had been shy most of his life in school, while she was bubbly and made friends easily, so he had no doubt she would fit in well with the other girls. 

 

“Are there going to be boys here?” his daughter abruptly asked.  Justin’s eyes widened; he didn’t care one way or the other whether his daughter would wind up preferring boys or girls eventually, but he wasn’t quite ready yet for his 10-year-old daughter to become worried about it. 

 

“Do you want there to be?” he asked her curiously as he turned right onto the exit ramp toward the camp; the terrain was getting more and more rugged and uninhabited the closer they approached their destination.  The road they had turned onto was a single-lane highway that didn’t have even a yellow line painted down the middle; the only stoplight, also, had been the one coming off the interstate.  Except for a few gas stations and a couple of fast food restaurants, there was nothing around except for gently rolling hills and woods – lots and lots of, predictably, pine trees.  He glanced over at his daughter for her response as, to his great relief, she shook her head.

 

“No way!” she announced.  They’re all a bunch of immature dweebs!  I don’t want anything to do with them until they grow up!” 

 

Justin laughed.  “Well, you won’t have to worry about them up here, Honey,” he told her with a smile.  “It’s strictly an all-girls camp.”  Thank God, he couldn’t help thinking.  The last thing he needed right now was to worry about his pre-teen daughter going through puberty prematurely.  He had already had the nail-biting “birds and bees” conversation with her about a year ago – knowing that girls her age seemed to be thrown into the adult world much too soon now – but he was thankful that apparently his daughter was still more concerned with cheerleading and fashion than boys. 

 

“Good,” she reported, crossing her arms over her chest as she peered out the window.  “Where exactly is this place?” she asked.  “There’s nothing out here.”

 

Justin grinned.  “It is pretty isolated,” he said in agreement.  “But that’s the point, Kaylee; you get to converse with nature.”  For a few seconds, he fondly recalled the time that Emmett and Michael had attended that “fairy” camp; he imagined both camps would encourage camaraderie, but that was probably where the similarities ended…He made a mental note to himself to contact Emmett soon; Em had been one of the few people he had kept in contact with since leaving the Pitts, except for Debbie.  He figured he would always be in touch with his “second mother,” even though he had long ago cautioned her that he did NOT want to discuss Brian with her; she had amazingly enough abided by his wishes, even though he knew deep down she was probably having to bite her tongue to do it…

 

“There’s the sign, Daddy,” Kaylee pointed out as they came to another cutoff to the right; a dark green wooden marker with Camp Pineland spelled out in cream-colored letters was situated at the intersection to a gravel road leading to the camp.  “Looks like they ran out of money to pave the road,” she sarcastically added.

 

Justin chuckled at his daughter’s less-than-enthusiastic endorsement of her home-away-from-home for the next two weeks.  “I think that was planned, Honey.”  He grinned at her look of skepticism before veering the car down the long, narrow gravel drive toward the camp; an open field on either side of the road quickly transformed into dense pine forest as they drove about a quarter mile further; through the open windows of their rental vehicle – a small SUV – he could smell the pine aroma surrounding them and feel the drop in temperature from the thick shaded canopy overhead.  He inhaled the fragrance as his daughter promptly declared, “It smells like air freshener around here.”

 

Justin burst out laughing.  “Oh, Kaylee,” he murmured.  “I’m glad you’re going to be at this camp.  I think you’ve been watching way too much television, sweetheart.”  His daughter stuck her tongue out at him in reply as he smiled.  “I know you’re going to have a good time, Honey, really,” he assured her once more. 

 

Kaylee peered over at her father, not quite convinced.  “Maybe,” she said noncommittally.  “Do I get my own room?”

 

Justin shook his head and smiled.  “Sorry – you’ll be sharing with one other girl.  But I’m sure you’ll get along just great with everybody.  And look at it this way – you’ll be very popular when they start choosing sides for the camp cheerleaders and the makeup discussion groups.”  He had no idea if they even had such things at the camp – chances are they didn’t – but he was trying to reassure Kaylee that she would have no trouble fitting in. She would be just fine, he was sure of it; she always made friends quite easily, ever since she had been little, and his daughter was always on top of the latest fashion looks and, despite his misgivings, the current makeup trends.  He actually limited what sort of makeup his daughter could use to mainly lip gloss and some lightweight perfume for now to her disappointment, feeling she was way too young to wear anything else, but he knew it was only a matter of time before she graduated to wanting more. 

 

She certainly hadn’t gotten her sense of style and fashion from him, he thought ruefully; he never had given a flying fuck what he wore and had never dressed up with the intention of impressing someone with his apparel.  He preferred, instead, to speak through his art.  And she hadn’t gotten it from her mother, either; Daphne’s sense of style was even less pronounced than his.  But he could not deny that his daughter definitely had a flair for dressing well.  If he didn’t know better, then, he’d say she got her fashion sense from her other father, but he knew that wasn’t possible.  He sighed as his thoughts once more strayed to Brian; it seemed that no matter how much he tried to forget him, that wasn’t possible, either…

 

He noticed the heavy concentration of pine trees thinning out somewhat as they approached a clearing; just as he suspected, the road turned toward the right again into a wide, gravel parking lot.  Several girls around Kaylee’s age and their parents were milling around their cars, luggage splayed out everywhere as they helped their children carry their luggage over to a series of wood buildings.  The structures were rustic but clean looking – all single story units except for the largest building centrally situated in front of them that abutted a large lake.  “Here we are, Kaylee,” he told his daughter as he pulled into an empty parking spot near the end on the right.  While there were numerous buildings grouped around the parking lot, the actual space to park was somewhat small; it was virtually packed at the moment with other parents dropping their children off for the orientation scheduled in an hour.

 

As he stopped the car and opened the door to get out and retrieve his daughter’s luggage from the back of the trunk, father and daughter both failed to notice a black Jeep Grand Cherokee pulling up and parking at the opposite end of the lot.

 


 

Same Time – Camp Pineland

 

“What do you think, Princess?” Brian asked Katie as they pulled up to the camp; according to the brochure Jennifer had given him, the camp encompassed over 400 acres of mainly woods, with a couple of lakes situated near the main base for canoeing and swimming; he could see several cabins interspersed around the main building, which if he recalled correctly, was a combination dining hall and meeting room; that was where the new camper orientation was to be held shortly.  He was glad to see that the camp looked clean and well-kept, even though the prominence of so much wood gave it a distinct primitive, rustic feel, the exact appearance he supposed they had been shooting for, but his preference always gravitated more for the contemporary, sleek look. 

 

He glanced over at his daughter, who was still clasping her sketchbook in her lap; she had kept it close by the entire time since they had entered their rental vehicle, almost as if she were afraid he would still take it away from her because she had drawn a picture of Justin, but he knew how much she needed her outlet and he wouldn’t dream of depriving her of it.  Just like someone else he used to know, it frequently served as a release for her when she was upset, lonely, insecure, or unsure of herself.  Those were typical emotions for a girl her age, but for his sensitive daughter, they seemed to be even more heightened and being able to express her feelings down on paper was a great catharsis for her.  As he stared at her profile, his heart did a flip-flop.  She reminded him so much of Justin, it was almost as if he were still here.  But as much as he wished that were the case, he knew he wasn’t.  And it had been all his own doing…

 

Katie opened her car door to emerge into the bright sunlight surrounding the camp.  “It’s okay,” she said neutrally as she looked around.  “I’m just not sure how I’ll fit in, though, Dad.  I’m not really into camping.”

 

Brian opened the back of the Jeep to grab her wheeled piece of luggage as his daughter joined him.  “You’ll be just fine, Katie,” he reassured her.  “You’ll get used to it in no time, especially once they start all the sporting activities.  And I know they have all sorts of hiking trails and swimming and even painting classes – I know you’ll like those!”

 

His daughter smiled at that thought as her blue eyes lit up.  “Yeah, that would be nice,” she agreed as she carefully slid her sketchbook into the front pocket of her luggage.  She had never had any formal painting classes, and normally preferred to do her drawings with charcoal.  But she had always wanted to try using acrylic paints instead; this at least would give her a chance to experiment with them. 

 

Brian grinned at her expression as he put his arm around her and gave her a squeeze.  “Let’s go check out the dining hall, okay?”  She nodded as he took her hand and walked with her up a gravel walkway toward the two-story main building directly in front of them, his daughter’s piece of navy-blue Armani luggage trailing along behind her and her soccer ball under her arm. 

 


 

 

“Ready, Honey?” Justin urged her daughter as he grabbed her piece of paisley-themed luggage from the back of the SUV and placed it on the ground.  He looked up as his daughter walked up beside him with a makeup case in her hand.  “Kay-lee,” he intoned.  “I thought you were going to leave some of that at home.” He knew his daughter wouldn’t be caught, though, without some of her “beauty products,” but he hadn’t even realized she had brought this additional piece of luggage with her.

 

“I needed it, Daddy,” she insisted.  “You don’t want me to look like a troll while I’m here, do you?” 

 

Justin grinned and shook his head in amusement.  “Kaylee, you would never look like a troll, with or without makeup.”  He remembered the photo of his daughter that had been taken right after she had been named captain of the girls’ cheerleading team for next year, despite the fact that she really wasn’t that athletically inclined.  But she had been named to the position anyway, because she was a hell of a good spokesperson for the squad and was the leader all the girls looked up to, a fact that made Justin very proud of her… He recalled that she had been horrified at the time to realize she had to have her picture taken that day without any lip gloss, but the photo of his beautiful, freshly-scrubbed, smiling little girl had quickly become one of his most favorite pictures of her and presently resided in a special place on one of his bookshelves at his studio.

 

His daughter shrugged her shoulders as if it were the most natural response in the world to bring a makeup kit to camp with her as he placed his hand on her shoulder and pulled her against him to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.  “Dad-dy,” she complained good-naturedly, a little embarrassed to be seen with her father kissing her like a little baby.  “Everyone will see.”

 

“Oh…Sorry,” Justin told her.  “I forgot.”  He ruffled her hair briefly before letting go and grabbing her largest piece of luggage.  “Ready to go see the dining hall now?” he asked her as she nodded, relieved that her father wasn’t going to take her "security blanket" away from her. He grinned as together the two of them walked along with the rest of the burgeoning crowd toward the reception area for the orientation.

 

As they approached the front entrance, they noticed four rectangular, portable metal tables set up underneath a large, white, vinyl sign sporting the camp’s logo – a trio of pine trees with different heights, ringed by a lake – and the words “Campers – Register Here” written to the side.  Each table had a tri-fold, cardboard sign set up near the end that indicated a certain range of the alphabet; Justin took hold of his daughter’s upper arm and whispered in her ear, “This way,” as he steered her toward the last table on the right that indicated registration for “N-Z.”

 

One of the two middle-aged women seated at the table and wearing a Kelly-green vest with a patch of the camp’s logo on it glanced up as Justin walked up to her.  She smiled politely.  “The camper’s name?” she inquired. 

 

“Kaylee Taylor-Kinney,” he told the woman, hoping that his daughter was registered under the letter T rather than K.  He wondered whether he was correct, however, when Kaylee stepped into view and the woman frowned. 

 

“Didn’t we already register you?” she asked Justin’s daughter, feeling certain she had already given the same girl an identification badge several minutes ago.  The camp was teeming as usual with new arrivals, but she felt a distinctive sense of déjà vu as the young blonde stared at her in confusion. 

 

“No,” Justin answered for her, wondering if the dark-haired, bespectacled woman had lost her mind.  “We just got here,” he told her.  He looked down at the name labels displayed in front of the woman and pointed out his daughter’s name.  “There she is,” he told her in confirmation. 

 

The woman glanced at the badge and nodded, convinced she had simply seen one too many blonde-haired pre-teen girls today.  “Yes, I see it,” she verified, as she retrieved the self-adhesive badge and gave it to Kaylee.  “Welcome to Pineland, Kaylee.  You can go on in for orientation.”  She stared sympathetically at Justin, recognizing the tell-tale signs of a fretful father before advising, “We recommend you say goodbye out here before your daughter goes in; it helps with any separation anxiety.  I promise we’ll take real good care of her and she’ll have a great time.  Campers are not allowed to make phone calls home, but we have a phone here at the camp in case of emergency, and she will be ready for pick up two weeks from today at the same time.”  As the pair turned away from her table to say goodbye, the woman scanned the sheet of names on her list and realized why the girl had looked familiar – apparently there were two sisters – twins – participating at the camp, both with the unusual hyphenated name of Taylor-Kinney, but she could have sworn the other girl had arrived with a different man.  Scrunching up her face in confusion, she nonetheless crossed off the latest arrival and returned to greet the next camper waiting in line.

 

Justin swallowed the unexpected lump in his throat now that it was time to say goodbye to his daughter.  He knew it was silly to feel this way – the camp had a stellar reputation – but it was almost like saying goodbye to Brian and his other daughter all over again.  As Kaylee placed the name badge on her chest, he gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile and said, “Guess this is it, Honey.  I know you’re going to have a great time here – and you’ll no doubt get a nice tan to boot,” he said with a smile, knowing that part would likely appeal to her.  Thank goodness she had adopted some of Daphne’s slightly darker skin rather than his own; at least she wouldn’t burn as easily as he normally did.  He could recall how Brian had often used to scold him whenever he went outside at Britin without applying any sun block to swim or simply sit on the patio when the sun was beating down during the day; actually, he would have never told Brian, but he often did it on purpose just so he could have the pleasure of feeling his partner’s warm, sensitive, and talented hands roaming all over his body as he applied the lotion to his chest and back.  Of course, then that normally resulted in the rest of his clothing being taken off right before he and Brian fucked in the pool bareback….

 

“Daddy?” He blinked as he realized he had once again zoned out as he peered down at his daughter whose hands were on her hips in slight aggravation.  “Sorry, Kaylee,” he told his daughter, smiling back at her apologetically.  “I’ll say goodbye now, then,” he told her, still reluctant to leave just yet but knowing he had no excuse to stay.  “I’ll see you in two weeks, okay?"

 

She nodded and turned to go as Justin reluctantly released her arm.  Just before she left, however, she impulsively gave her father a kiss on the cheek.  “Bye, Daddy.” 

 

“Bye, Honey,” Justin told her, forcing himself not to let his tears show even though he was feeling quite vulnerable at the moment, knowing this would be the first prolonged amount of time he and his daughter had been apart.  He remembered telling Brian when their daughters were born that he would never be one of those clingy, overprotective parents but at that moment he had to admit he was guilty as charged.  “I love you,” he whispered, saying it too low for anyone but his daughter to hear.  “Have a great time.”

 

His daughter nodded and smiled as she took a few steps toward the entrance; just as Justin turned to go, however, she ran back and threw her arms around her father’s neck, whispering, “I love you too, Daddy.”  As quickly as she had returned, however, she was gone again, her luggage rolling along behind her as she purposefully walked toward the door and another camp employee opened the entrance for her as she disappeared inside.

 

When did my daughter get so grown up? Justin wondered wistfully as he watched her go.  He suddenly was feeling pretty old himself as he stood there among the sea of other parents and their children.  Taking a deep breath and letting it out to try and push away some of the anxiety over leaving his daughter in an unfamiliar place, he turned to walk back toward the parking lot, lost in thought.

 


 

Brian sat behind the wheel of his SUV, composing his thoughts.  He had just dropped off his daughter near the dining hall and found he had mixed feelings about it.  He knew his daughter could be somewhat shy at times around strangers – hence her frequent sketching when she was feeling on edge – but he was still confident that once she was more comfortable in her surroundings, she would have a great time.  At least he hoped so; he never thought he would find himself in this situation, but somehow he had become one of those dreaded parents who fretted over everything their child did and constantly worried about whether their child was happy.  He tried hard to encourage his daughter to be self-sufficient and make her own decisions, but he also knew he would be always be right behind her just in case, quietly looking over her shoulder and making sure she was both protected and loved no matter what she did.  Up here, though, Katie would be on her own for two weeks.  He sobered somewhat as he thought of his beautiful but sensitive daughter struggling to break out of her shell enough to make new friends inside the camp. But she was so gifted in sports as well as art; he had no doubt as a result that she would make friends quickly.  Give it a chance, Princess, he thought to himself.  This will be good for you…

 

He knew Katie needed more opportunities like this, but it still didn’t prevent him from worrying.  He also realized she would never learn to break out on her own if he didn’t push her to try.  You’ve got more of your father in you than you know, Katie, he thought to himself.  I know you can do this…

 

He sighed as an image of Justin appeared in his mind; the man who had challenged so many people and issues he encountered and hadn’t backed down from any of them.  He could still remember Hobbs appearing outside Woody’s with his curious hetero friends as Justin almost proudly announced to practically the entire block that he had jacked him off.  He remembered the incredibly-creative propaganda posters his ex-partner had made to try and defeat Stockwell during his campaign.  He remembered how Justin had stood up for himself when he was suspended by the Dean for not apologizing to the asshole police chief.  He recalled how Justin had managed to secure a job as one of the higher-paid go-go-dancers at Babylon by letting that fucker Saperstein blow him (although that was definitely one time he would have rather forgotten).  And he had remembered how Justin had stubbornly fought with him over his decision to remain in the Pitts and develop his art career at Britin rather than in New York City; his partner had proven Lindsey and everyone else, including himself, wrong shortly thereafter when his work had garnered numerous awards and other accolades in an amazingly short time. 

 

This isn’t helping, Kinney, Brian told himself as he bit his lip in frustration.  Thinking about Katie’s father wasn’t helping his apprehension one little bit.  She’ll be okay, he told himself.  She’s got it in her genes all right.  He shook his head in reproach as he turned the ignition and started up the Jeep to back out.  Just before he turned to look behind him, he thought he saw a familiar flash of blond hair among the bustling crowd near the front of the dining hall and his heart did a flip-flop at the thought.  Yeah…Right…He scolded himself as he sighed in disgust and began to slowly back out of his parking place.  As he did so, he missed the blond-haired, slender man who walked down the gravel pathway from the dining hall and veered toward the right on his way back to his own vehicle.

 

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes:

Sorry it's taken me a few days to get this posted;  BTW - for those of you chewing on your nails for the next chapter of "Paper Hearts," I'm working on it!  I was actually going to post it first but fell victim to a slight case of writer's block over the very pivotal next chapter in that story.  I promise to get it posted very soon, though - thanks to everyone for reading this and my other stories - I am very grateful.:)

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