It seemed that his dilemma was solved FOR him as Debbie walked out from behind the counter and made a bee line right for him.  As she neared his booth, he slowly lifted his eyes to gaze into the woman who had taken him under her wing so long ago and had never let him go - not really, anyway.  He smiled fondly at her, not a full-blown sunshine smile, but a genuinely affectionate one just the same.

"Sunshine?" she whispered with uncharacteristic softness, her eyes beginning to form tears of happiness as she laid her hand against her breast, much like she had done so long ago.  "It is really you?"

Justin nodded as he stared into her surprised face.  When Brian had kept calling him that inane nickname before, he had been perturbed by it because it had almost sounded like a taunt; now as Debbie said it, however, he thought it sounded like the most wonderful melodic sound in the world and brought back a lot of good memories of how she had taken care of him so many times before.  "Hi, Deb," he said to her softly.  "Yeah, it's me," he told her, even though it was totally unnecessary.

He waited for her to erupt into a loud, screaming burst of excitement, but to his astonishment, she was almost subdued.  "Justin...You...You look so wonderful, Honey!" she raved as she gave him the biggest smile of delight, even though she did notice what appeared to be tired lines surrounding his eyes.  "Stand up and give me a hug right now!"

Justin smiled as he shook his head.  He hastily explained as her face fell in disappointment, "I would, Deb, but I hurt my ankle last night and it still hurts to walk on it.  It's nothing major," he told as he noticed her look of concern.  "Just banged it up a bit - it'll be fine soon."

Her smile returned as she nodded and walked over to lean down.  "Well, then, my hug will just have to come to you," she decided as she leaned over and wrapped Justin tightly in her arms.  Justin could smell Debbie's old familiar cologne - a mixture of some type of rose and sandalwood, she had told him a long time ago - and felt the coarseness of her bright red wig as she rubbed against his cheek and clamped her arms around him like a vise; it had been a long time, but it felt so good.  "Oh, I've missed you so much!" she told him against his neck.

Justin pulled back just enough to gaze into her kindly face as he whispered back sincerely, "I've missed you, too, Deb."

She smiled back at him affectionately before letting him go to stand back up.  "Kiki!" she called out.  "I'm taking my break now, okay?" she shouted over to the other waitress, who nodded in acknowledgment.  The breakfast crowd had finally thinned out quite dramatically, providing Debbie with the perfect time to catch up with her young friend.

"Justin," she murmured as she slid across the booth and stared over at him.  "You don't look much older than the last time I saw you, you little shit," she muttered in amazement as Justin laughed.  Her face clouded over, though, and her eyes narrowed as she studied him intently; now that the initial shock had worn off and she had time to soak in the fact that Justin, indeed, was sitting across from her, the hurt she had been feeling all this time began to bubble up to the surface.

Her voice was strained as she asked the question that Justin had dreaded but also expected.  "Why, Sunshine?" She asked him bluntly.  "Why did you desert all of us when it happened?  Do you know how much that fucking hurt?  Do you realize how long it's been?"

Justin bit his lip and swallowed hard.  How many times had he asked that same question to himself?  Did he really have an answer to it?  Perhaps just for a moment he thought he could understand Brian's point of view as he pondered the answer to her inquiry.  He had struggled with that issue for so long, ever since he and Brian had broken up.  "Deb..."

"I don't understand, Justin," she interrupted him, her slightly wrinkled lips pursed tightly together and her eyes tinged with sadness.  The words began to flow out of her now like an unyielding avalanche.  "I don't understand how you could just run off with one of my granddaughters and not come back here to see me.  Phone calls weren't enough.  If it hadn't been for your mother - God bless her - I wouldn't have known how Kaylee was really doing or seen her again until she turned eighteen. Eighteen, Justin!  How could you DO that to me? To all your friends?  To your family?  Because, damn it, that's how I thought of YOU; like you were family.  I still do.  Don't you know you're like a son to me?" she told him, her voice breaking as she leaned forward and stared into his eyes.  "And before you say Kaylee isn't my blood, I don't give a fuck.  She is as much my granddaughter as JR is.  So don't even try to use that as an excuse."

Justin squirmed in his seat in reaction to her heated gaze, feeling his own face warming in shame.

"Well?" She prodded him, not backing down.  Of course, he would not have expected her to anyway, not from this woman.  Debbie was one of the most honest - and candid - people he knew.  He also knew, then, that if he could pass muster with her with an explanation, he could do it with anyone.

He sighed and rubbed his hand over his mouth.  "Deb..."  This time thankfully she didn't interrupt him, because he knew he was not going to come across as particularly glib at the moment; he was still struggling to process what he was going to say.  "I don't know if even I can understand why I did what I did.  When Brian and I broke up, we were so concerned with taking care of the girls that it was the only thing on my mind.  And once Kaylee and I moved to Chicago, I don't know; I guess I thought it was best to break things off with everyone except my mom and Daphne.  Get a fresh start.  Besides, Brian knew you a lot longer than I did before we met."  He knew he was sounding ridiculous - the words sounded that way to him, so he could only imagine how Debbie thought about them - but he plodded on nonetheless.

"I thought it was for the best that we not come back here and open up old wounds," he told her lamely.  He mentally prepared for his friend's rebuttal, and he wasn't disappointed.

"That is the biggest bullshit I have ever heard come out of your mouth, Justin!" she told her young friend, pointing one red-lacquered fingernail at him.  "After everything I did for you, after everything I watched you go through, after I fucking took you into my own home - and my heart," she said, her eyes brimming now with tears and her voice breaking, "you thought it was best to stay away from me and everyone else here that had grown to love you?  Love and family are not based on a time clock; Justin.  I loved you - I DO love you - just as much as I ever did Brian.  I'm really surprised at you, Sunshine.  I thought I knew you better than that."  She turned her head toward the counter, not to check on the time she had left on her break, but to avoid letting Justin see how much this had all upset her.  When he had left, a piece of her heart had left with him.  She didn't think she knew just how big a piece had been missing until she had laid eyes on him just now. Talking with him on the phone conversing in idle, meaningless chit chat had never been enough for her.

Justin's eyes filled with tears, also, tears of regret and remorse.  "I'm...I'm sorry, Deb," he whispered.  "Really.  I didn't think about all the consequences of what I did back then.  I was trying to do what was best for Kaylee - and Katie, too."  He swallowed hard before continuing.  "I knew that Brian loved our daughters just as much as I did.  That was never a question.  I really thought back then that it was the best solution.  God, you don't think that I didn't miss Katie every fucking day of my life until I finally saw her again?  And that I didn't miss everyone else here, too?"  He angrily wiped away some tears from his eyes as he told her, "I know now what a stupid, stupid decision that was back then!  How much time that has been wasted not being with both my daughters!  I realize that now, Debbie!  I realize how incredibly selfish it was to keep them apart - and keep them from you.  Don't you think I know that now?"

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand as he told her, "Yes, I made a big mistake; a horrible mistake!  And I'm sorry about that - so fucking sorry!  But I can't go back and change it now.  I can't."  He sighed.  "The only thing I can do now is ensure that both girls see each other as much as possible," he whispered.  "And that you get to stay in touch with both of them as well."  He stared into her face, which seemed to have softened since his words poured out of him.  "That's why I'm back here.  To get the custody arrangement changed so I can rectify what I did.  It won't take away the pain and hurt that I caused you," he told her, his voice breaking now.  "But I can make sure that it doesn't continue."  He reached over to grasp her hand, feeling it trembling beneath his touch; he could only hope it wasn't due to her being furious with him as he implored, "Please, Deb.  This has been so hard on me, being back here again.  Can you forgive me for what I did?  Please?  I can't stand the thought that you might be disappointed in me."

Debbie sighed as she looked into the tearful, blue eyes.  Shit.  She never could stay angry with her Sunshine, not matter what he had done.  "I still don't appreciate what you put me through and how you handled this situation," she told him, knowing she was starting to waver now.  She placed her other hand on top of his and squeezed it as she told him softly, "I never stopped loving you, though, Kiddo.  I could never have done that.  You're still a little shit for doing what you did, though; and if you EVER run off and never come back here again, I will never speak to YOU again, do you understand me? And don't you EVER try and keep me away from that precious granddaughter of mine anymore - you got it?"   She cocked her left brow upward in an exact replica of what Brian used to do - still did, actually - as Justin found a way to smile back at her in relief, his heart feeling just a little lighter now.

"Yes, Ma'am," he told her politely.  "Yes to both questions."

She quirked the side of her mouth up slightly before she finally nodded.  "Good."  She sighed, grateful to have cleared the air between them.  Oh, how she had missed Justin and her granddaughter!  Now, however, there was still a lot of work left to be done.  She removed her hands from Justin's grasp and leaned back in her seat to study him.  "So - what exactly IS going on now between you and Brian?"

Justin sighed this time, feeling decidedly weary over the entire situation.  "Well, like I already said, Brian and I have both agreed to work toward revising the custody agreement.  We both want Kaylee and Katie to see each other as much as possible.  So hopefully you'll be able to see both of them a lot more in the near future.  We both are in complete agreement with that."

Debbie's eyes bored into his.  "Cut through the bullshit, Sunshine; that's great news, but you know that's not what I'm asking.  Now answer my real question," she said a little more softly, noticing the troubled look in his eyes.

"Deb!"

Debbie groaned over the inopportune interruption.  "Hold on, Kikki!  I'm coming!" she shouted back at her co-worker, dismayed that her break time was apparently up. She felt like she was just now making headway - and had come to the most important issue; what exactly was happening between two of her ‘boys.'  "Justin?"

Justin averted his eyes downward.  "That's a little more complicated," he told her.  "A LOT more complicated, actually.  Maybe it should wait until you have more time."

"I'm all ears; I'll MAKE the time," she avowed as she reached over and gently placed her hand under his chin to lift his face and look into his eyes.  "Justin?"  She couldn't help tenderly caressing his cheek in reassurance before she dropped her hand to the table and waited for his response.

He let out a sorrowful breath.  "We...we've talked about what happened.  About what needs to happen before we could, you know..."

"Reconcile?" she asked hopefully.

He shrugged.  "I guess that's what you would call it.  But before you go getting your hopes up," he hastened to add, "we have a lot of hurdles to overcome before we could even approach that topic."

"Like what?" she pressed him.

"Deb!"

Debbie sighed heavily in disgust. "Don't get your tits in a fucking knot!" Debbie shouted back at Kiki.  The place now was fairly deserted.  "I'll make it up; this is important, okay?"  Kiki huffed in irritation, but finally nodded as she turned to begin wiping down the diner's counter.

Justin licked his lips nervously, the past several days' events flooding back to him in excruciating detail.  "Well, the biggest issue is why he did what he did back then."  He swallowed hard.  "It still hurts, Deb.  Even now; and I've never gotten a good explanation as to why exactly he cheated on me."  He turned his head to stare over at one of his paintings that hung on the diner's wall, not even realizing it was still there until now.  The thing had to be at least twelve years old by now, but he thought he could remember it being one of Debbie's favorites at the time.  He had a sneaking suspicion that somewhere along the line she had covertly purchased it on the diner's behalf, just because she didn't want to part with it, but at the moment that was the least important thing on his mind.

He turned back to look at her.  "I...I never thought he would ever break a promise to me, especially one as important as that.  And it just wasn't me he was fucking with," he said with an ironic snort.  "It was me and our daughters."

"I'm sure that hurt like hell," she told him sympathetically, knowing how deeply Justin felt these sort of things.  Jennifer had filled her in on the main details about what had happened back then, enough to know that it must have hurt Justin deeply when Brian had betrayed such a trust in him.  "But, Justin...that was so long ago!  How long are you going to hold that heavy burden in your heart?  It always costs a lot more to hate than to forgive.  You think I didn't hate whatever fucker tried to kill Michael - and you - and DID kill so many others at Babylon?  You don't think I didn't want to see that person rot in hell for what he did?  And the people who infected both Ben and Vic, shortening their lives; you don't think that I don't hurt over all that and want to hate whoever infected them?  Of course I do," she admitted.  "But I've learned that I don't want all that hurt and hate to have that sort of control over me and overwhelm the good parts that I DO remember."  She smiled softly at him, feeling that old, familiar heart-swell in her chest as she told him, "I know how much you loved each other, and I have a good feeling that the bond you shared is still there.  You do still love him...don't you?"

She really didn't need a verbal answer to her question, though - it was written all over her young friend's face.  Justin silently nodded, though, in verification as she nodded back at him.  "Yeah...I suspected as much.  And I have a good feeling that he feels the same way.  I can see it in his eyes every time he looks at Katie.  I can see it in the way that he's changed since you left."

Justin furrowed his brow.  "What do you mean...Changed?"

She shrugged.  "I can tell," she insisted.  "He doesn't come into the diner looking wasted from being out too late at Babylon or at one of the other clubs.  He doesn't make a point of bragging to the boys about some hot trick he brought home or his latest conquest.  In fact, from what Emmett and Ted tell me, they hardly see him around any of the old haunts at all anymore.  He's more apt to come in here with Katie to get breakfast on the weekend than to walk in alone.  And when he does, he looks all rested up and polished, not like some walking zombie who's been out all night prowling around."    She smiled.   "He's a good father, Sunshine; a loving father.  He makes sure Katie comes to see me and spend time with me at least a couple weekends a month.  And when he drops her off in the mornings, he's usually on his way into Kinnetik, not taking advantage of some extra private time to go out looking for a place to get his dick sucked."

Justin still wasn't totally convinced.  After all, this was Brian they were talking about; could he have changed that much since then?  "How can you be so sure?" he asked her, wanting to believe that but still doubtful.

"I just know," she told her firmly.  "Like you pointed out, I've known him a long time.  He's changed a lot, Justin, since you two broke up and since he started having to take care of Katie.  Surely you've seen how he is with her?"

Justin nodded with a wistful smile.  "Yeah," he told her.  "I know he loves her - and Kaylee - a lot.  He's great with them.  That's not the problem."

She nodded, glancing over toward the front of the diner and knowing now that she really did have to return to work before Kiki blew a fuse; she could tell her friend and co-worker was getting highly agitated by the way she was trying to scrub the countertop down to its support braces.  "I have to go," she told him regretfully.  "But please, Justin - think about what I said.  Find a way to let it go somehow.  If you don't, trust me.  You will regret it for the rest of your life, and you've wasted too much precious time already."  She reluctantly slid over to the side of the booth's seat and stood up.  "One more thing.  Don't forget - Brian wasn't the only one who's broken a promise along the way...Has he?  And believe me, he's been just as hurt by them as you are now."

Justin's mouth opened to protest, but he shut it; the truth was, she was right.  How she knew that exactly, he didn't know.  But he couldn't deny it.  The road of broken promises between him and Brian was definitely a two-way street.

Justin mutely nodded as she leaned down to give him a parting kiss on the cheek.  "And bring Kaylee back in with you soon, okay?  Promise me you will NOT be going anywhere without telling me first; NO sneaking off back to Chicago without letting me know."  She paused for a moment to pull her pencil out from behind her ear and retrieve her order pad before she asked, "Any chance you'll stay here instead?"

"Deb..." Justin grinned up at her; he couldn't blame her for trying.  He shook his head regretfully.  "I have a life back in Chicago; I can't just pick up and go like that."

"Can't you?" she challenged him.  "You can if you want to badly enough, Sunshine."  She clucked her tongue as she held her finger up as if it were a gun going off before, smiling, she walked away and returned at last to Kiki's side. Soon she was busy taking orders from a new group of four sitting at the back of the diner and Justin was once more alone with his thoughts.

Justin played with his silverware, his intention of buying breakfast promptly forgotten as he pondered Debbie's words of wisdom.  He had to admit - righteous indignation, bitterness, and hurt made for a very cold threesome in his bed.  How important WAS it that he continue to adhere to his ‘principles' and punish Brian for what he had done?  Despite his feeling that Brian had been sincere in his admission that even HE didn't quite know why he had done what he did, he still craved an explanation, a good reason, for why he had broken the most important promise of all to him. It was amazing to him that even now, he could remember their confrontation clearly, as well the tremendous hurt he had felt when he had seen Brian coming out of his office bathroom with that client's son.  He knew - he instantly knew - what had happened, and Brian had made no attempt to deny it.  It was written all over his face. 

He knew that Brian had immediately felt guilty about what he had done without him saying a word.  But he had waited - had anticipated - some reasonable explanation to spring from his lips as to why he had done it.  And to his utmost disappointment, it had never come.  All that had escaped from Brian's lips back then was a rebuttal as to how HE had constantly broken promises to HIM - the ‘no kiss rule,' the cheating with Ethan, the real purpose of the whole Pink Posse thing. While he hadn't exactly been dishonest with him about his exploits with Cody, he hadn't exactly been completely truthful with him, either.  He had never told him, for instance, just how dangerous those nights had been or how he had confronted Chris Hobbs with that gun.  And he had never told him about Kip, either.  So both of them hadn't always been completely truthful with each other, just like Debbie had said.  Why, then, did he hold this particular transgression of Brian's up to a higher standard?  Shouldn't ALL their lies and half-truths come out in the open if they were to make a new start with one another?  He wondered perhaps what else Brian might be hiding from him or not telling him.  He certainly had his little secrets that to this day he had never divulged.  Was it fair to expect Brian to be completely candid and honest with him if he couldn't do the same?

He let out a confused breath.  Why was this so hard, anyway? Why was it so hard to just let go, to forget it, to forgive him, to just concentrate on their enduring love for each other?  If Brian could just tell him, tell him why...Why he hadn't been good enough for him.  Was THAT the real issue? That somehow he felt like he had been a disappointment to him? That he had been inferior to him?  That he wasn't what he wanted or needed?  Was THAT the main problem and not the fact that Brian had cheated on him?  He put his head in his hands and sighed; he was so confused.  If only he knew what to do...

"Sweetie?"

Justin's breathing stopped temporarily at the sound of yet another familiar voice.  Justin slowly raised his head to look up and despite his trepidation he couldn't help smiling at the man standing near his booth.

"Oh, my God!" Emmett shouted out in joy as he clapped his hands.  "It IS you!  Justin...!"  He knew his old friend was back in town, but he had expected him to be back out at Britin - he couldn't believe his luck that here Justin was instead, right in the diner.

"Em!  How are you?  I'd get up," he explained a little self-consciously with a wistful smile, figuring his friend was probably wondering why he hadn't stood up to greet him, "but I had a small accident last night and hurt my ankle."

Em's brow furrowed in concern as he leaned down to give Justin a brief kiss on the cheek; he slid into the seat across from him that had been previously occupied by Debbie as he asked, "What happened?"  He was worried that whatever had occurred, it might have somehow put a damper on what he had helped arrange for Justin and Brian last night at Britin.  He had barely gotten out of there just as Justin and Jennifer had arrived, and he was dying to know what had happened.  Perhaps now he would get a chance to find out.    Did Justin hurt himself before or after his and Brian's intimate little dinner?

"I tripped and fell down some steps," Justin supplied as Emmett's eyes widened in surprise.  "Didn't sprain or break the ankle, but I banged it up pretty badly.  It still aches but it's better than last night.  I went to an urgent care clinic and they fixed it up with a bandage and gave me some pain pills, so at least I can walk on it now."  He grinned wryly.  "They gave me crutches, too, but that didn't go over very well.  Not very fashionable," he quipped.

Emmett nodded silently, wondering how much he should pry.  Apparently Justin didn't realize his part in their dinner last night.  He was dying to know what had happened, but he didn't feel too comfortable just blurting that question out.  Instead, he chose to try and build up to it.  "It's been way too long, Baby!  When did you get back into town, and how long are you staying?  I've missed you so much!  It's just hasn't been the same since you've been gone."  The two of them had spoken occasionally on the phone, always steering clear of what both really wanted to say and concentrating instead on more ‘safe' topics such as Justin's career and his own, ongoing love-life woes.  Now, though, face to face, the issue of Justin's and Brian's relationship would be more difficult for both of them to skirt around.

Justin smiled at his friend.  "I've missed you, too, Em."  He looked around the room, catching Debbie's eye as he added wistfully, "I've missed all of this."  Inherent in those words was a lot more than just missing Pittsburgh and its environs; he had missed the feeling of camaraderie that he had found here, the feeling of belonging, and the feeling of home. Chicago was a vibrant, contemporary, thriving city full of culture and excitement, but his heart had never quite left here - and he knew it never would.  He inhaled a calming breath as he turned back to see his friend staring at him.  "What?" he asked softly, knowing, though, what Em wasn't saying with words.

"And Brian?  And Katie?  I assume you've seen them?"

Justin nodded, his jaw set.  "Yeah...I've seen them."

"Deb!  Coffee, please?" Em called over to their friend; a few seconds later, she came walking over to pour a cup for both men, giving Emmett a questioning look as she left with their orders.  She didn't have to tell HIM that she was wondering what was going on as much as he was.

"So what happened, Baby?" he asked his friend.

"Well, I actually first saw them in Chicago."

Emmett was strangely quiet for a while; he played with his coffee spoon for a few seconds until he finally uttered a nonchalant, "Oh?"

Justin's right eyebrow arched up.  "Em?"  He knew it had been a long time since he had seen his friend in person, but he knew a guilty look when he saw one.  "Emmett?" he repeated a little louder this time.

"Sweetie...I have a confession to make."

Fifteen minutes later, Justin's coffee was tepid and his mouth was hanging open in astonishment.  Not that he shouldn't have realized that Emmett's touch was obvious in everything he saw downstairs last night, but he was beginning to wonder if everyone in Pittsburgh was involved with scheming to get him and Brian back together.  At this point, though, the anger he would have normally felt at discovering yet another person conspiring behind his back had dissolved into more of a resigned frustration.  He let out a heavy sigh.  "Shit, Em!  I'm beginning to wonder if it was such a good idea to come back here at all."

"Now you don't mean that, Baby," Em hastened to reassure him.  "You're just confused, that's all.  Surely you don't think it was a bad idea to see Katie again?"

"No!" Justin was quick to answer.  He smiled.  "That's been by far the best part, getting to see my daughter again.  Believe me, if I could go back and change that part of our separation, I would do it in a heartbeat."  He sighed.  "I just don't know if I'm ready to get back into a relationship with Brian again, that's all."

Em gazed over at him sympathetically.  "He is a complicated man, isn't he?  But I really think he still loves you, Baby - and you love him...don't you?"

Justin nodded his head; he couldn't deny it.  "God help me, but I do, Em. I never stopped."

Emmett leaned over the booth to look Justin intently in the eyes.  "Then do what it takes to make things right, Sweetie!  The kind of love the two of you had - still have - doesn't just come along all that often, maybe only once in a lifetime!  Hell, look at me and Drew.  We've been together and apart now, what?  Two, three times?  But something always draws us back together eventually, just like you and Brian.  You can't fight it; call it Barbra channeling herself through me, but it's your destiny, your fate that you be together.  Go with your heart, Baby; the heart never lies."

"I wish it was that easy," Justin murmured.  "My relationship with Brian has always been...," he struggled for the word until he came up with "...complicated."

"Well, I'd rather have complicated than boring, and bland," Em teased him, evoking a small smile out of Justin at last.  "Vanilla's never exciting unless you mix in a little bit of hot fudge sauce with it," he told Justin with a grin.  "And Brian is anything but boring...although he's not quite as footloose and fancy free now."

Justin's face dissolved from an amused smile into more of a thoughtful one as he asked, "What do you mean, he's not quite as footloose and fancy free now?"

Em looked distinctly uncomfortable, just like he always did when he was discussing Brian; somehow he always thought the man would show up out of the blue and peek over his shoulder, overhearing everything he said.  He seemed to have a knack for that.  He looked around to make sure no one, including Brian OR Debbie, was around before he told his friend, "It's just that none of us see Brian around the typical spots much anymore, and when we do, he's always gone almost before the place even opens."

Justin digested that bit of information. As hard as he found that to believe in a way, it actually jived with what Debbie had told him earlier.  "He is?"

Emmett nodded.  "He pretty much has handed over management of Babylon to Kelly - remember him?  The big, beefy bodyguard who worked part time behind the bar when someone called in sick?"  Justin nodded - it was hard to forget Kelly.  Always wore some kind of green shirt befitting his name and heritage, and was big as an ox; no one ever argued with him when he was around.  "Well, seems our little bouncer was pretty smart.  He was going to school during the day to get his MBA.  He eventually worked his way into helping Brian out with managing the place and now he pretty much handles it all the time.  From what Teddy tells me and from what I've seen with my own eyes, Brian only goes into the club about once or twice a month, mainly to just make his presence known and check up on how everything's going.  He very rarely goes there now.  And Woody's?  I only see him in there occasionally, having a drink or shooting pool."

"Yeah, he still gets hit on when he goes out," he continued, making Justin feel inexplicably jealous over the fact, "But the days of him using a revolving door with tricks are long gone apparently."  He snorted.  "I would never say this to his face, but I think the Stud of Liberty Avenue has become a - would you believe it? - family man, at least when it comes to Katie.  He's always whipping out a new photo of her now to show us - instead of whipping out his cock for some trick to suck it off."  Emmett shook his head in amazement.  "I never thought I would see the day..."

Justin was stunned. Oh, he knew Brian loved Katie without a doubt and was a loving father to her - it hadn't taken long at all for him to realize that just by observing them, and his mother had told him numerous times how much Brian showed support for their daughter by showing up at her activities. From what she had told him, he had actually taken off work on several occasions to attend her horse shows, soccer games, and even a father-daughter dance last year, yet another event that he had regretted not being able to attend.  But it was still hard to imagine Brian more interested in showing off a new photo of Katie than his own body to attract attention.  But what did he really know about Brian's life now?  All he had to go on were his mother's observations and his own, possibly jaded suspicions.

Their conversation was interrupted by Debbie bringing their orders over, but the information Emmett had disclosed to him reverberated in his mind, along with Debbie's heartfelt advice, would would linger for a long time to come.

Same Time - Britin

Brian glanced down at his watch as he heard a car door outside.  He smiled.  "Right on time, Mikey," he murmured as he walked over to the door and opened it.  As he looked over at his friend, the two men stood there a little awkwardly.  Before they wouldn't have thought twice about greeting each other with a hug and a kiss.  Now, the intervening years - and tragedy - had molded them into something more like bittersweet friends, not close confidantes.  But to Brian, this man was still the only one who, after Justin, knew him well enough to help him sort out the reasoning behind one of the worst decisions he had ever made.

"Mikey," he murmured as he flashed him a self-deprecating smile.  "And you brought treats."

Michael stood there with the Styrofoam box of lemon bars in his hand as he stared into the familiar hazel eyes, wondering why - after all this time - Brian had phoned him and asked him to come out for a visit.  He had never thought he would be standing there in front of his former best friend feeling this uncomfortable.  The only other time he could recall feeling this way was right before the bombing when Brian had shown up at his and Ben's house, drunk as a skunk and looking for Justin.  Their encounter had quickly escalated into a shouting match as Brian had accused him of ‘tainting' his partner with his Pollyanna ideas of house and hearth, only to have Michael explain that it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Brian.  It had taken quite a while after that before they were back on track, culminating in his being asked to be Brian's best man at the wedding that never was, but ever since then their relationship had remained somewhat strained and had never really fully recovered to its previous state.  They remained good friends, caring friends, but Michael suspected they would never quite get back to the brotherly type of friendship they had once had.  Brian's call, therefore, came as a big surprise, and as he stood there he had to admit he was inordinately curious as to the reason why.

He nodded at Brian's statement.  "I told you I'd be bringing some of Maw's lemon bars," he replied softly as Brian took the proffered box from his hand.   There was a brief moment of awkward tension before Michael stretched out his hand and waited for a response.  After a few seconds, Brian reached to grasp the proffered hand and clasp it warmly before he pulled his friend into a hug.  This time, though, while there was still a warmth and familiarity to the gesture, there was no greeting kiss like he would have normally received.

Brian pulled back from their embrace as they stared into each other's eyes, both quietly assessing the progress of age - a slow transformation that neither man could prevent.  Michael noticed how tired his old friend looked; no doubt something was bothering him.  "Well, it's been quite a while," he finally responded.

Brian nodded.  "Yeah."  He paused, still finding it hard to express emotions such as love or gratitude to someone else, even though oddly he normally didn't have a problem expressing it with this man.  The biggest difference, though, was that it had never the same sort of significance that it had with Justin; that was why it was so hard for him to say certain things to his ex-partner but not to Michael.

Brian held out his hand toward the interior of the house.  "Well, come on in," he invited as Michael nodded and walked inside ahead of him.  It had been some time since he had been back at Britin; the last time he could remember being there was for Katie's 9th birthday party.  And he had thought at the time the only reason why he had gotten invited was because he had been staying temporarily with his mother while the inside of his house was being painted.  It would have been rather awkward to invite his mother and not him, so he had felt like it was more out of a sense of courtesy.  Now, as he walked down the hallway, he once more was amazed at how large the house was for just Brian and his daughter.  He imagined that even when Justin and Kaylee had been here, there had to be occasions when everyone could be in the house at the same time and not see each other for hours.

"I made some coffee," Brian was telling him as he caught up to his side and overtook him.  "I thought we could eat breakfast out on the patio," he told Michael, who nodded in agreement.  "I assume your mother told you about what's happened?"

Michael frowned. "What are you talking about, Brian?" he asked as his friend led him toward the back of the house.  "I saw her this morning when I picked up the lemon bars, but she didn't say anything to me about something going on.  What does SHE know that I don't?"  He hadn't quite expected the hurt to rear up in his response, but to his own surprise it did.  His mother knew what was going on, but HE didn't?  It DID hurt that he and Brian weren't as close as they used to be; but it had been years since he would have considered them inseparable - before their lives had taken divergent turns, Justin had left and Ben had died.  He found it ironic in a way that Brian now found himself in the same type of fatherly role that he had taken on when Jenny Rebecca had been born.  But despite sharing that similarity, they had never managed to get back to the closeness they once shared.  In a way, he did miss it; but lives changed, people changed, and you had to deal with it and move on or get left behind.  Both of them had been forced to change just like everyone else; that didn't mean that he didn't mourn it in a way, however.

Brian swung the door to the backyard patio open as he turned to face his friend.  He was unexpectedly solemn as he told him simply, "Well, I think the answer to that will be obvious very soon."  He opened his mouth to explain further, but was interrupted by his daughter's voice nearby.

"Kaylee, that's him," Katie pointed him out to her sister from their place at the patio table.  "Daddy's friend."  Her eyes sparkled as she spied the Styrofoam container.  "Ooh...and I think I see our breakfast with him!"

Michael's mouth hung open as he looked over to see two identical girls staring back at him; only their clothing was different.  Katie?  With Kaylee?  This was certainly a surprise.  He had been under the impression when Justin had left with her that the two girls were not allowed to even know about each other until they reached adulthood; now they were sitting together here at Britin as if it were the most natural thing in the world.  What had happened since then to change that?  Did that also mean that someone else was back in town?  And was he here - at Britin?  He was beginning to understand the reason for Brian's request for help as Katie sprang up from her place at the table and rushed over to their side.  She peered up at Michael to ask hopefully, "Are these what I think they are?"

Michael managed to close his mouth from the shock of seeing both girls together as he nodded.  "I think they just might be," he told her with a smile as she grinned back at him.  He handed the box to her as she nodded and turned to head back to her sister's side as Brian spoke up.

"Katie..."

"Oh...Yeah," she replied as she turned around briefly to eye their visitor sheepishly.  "Thanks, Michael," she told him as he nodded at her; he watched as she took the treasured lemon bars over to her and her sister's place at the table and flipped the lid open to snare one of them.  She didn't need to encourage her sister very much to do the same as Kaylee reached in and snagged one for herself to put it on her casual breakfast plate.  As she took a bite of the sticky confection, her eyes widened in pleasure and a distinct "mmm" came out of her lips as the two girls flashed identical grins at each other.

Michael shook his head in amazement as he watched the two twins.  "I'm assuming that's the answer to my question?"

"That's a BIG part of it," Brian confirmed as he motioned for Michael to join him at a second, round patio table.  He reached for the coffee carafe warmer to pour him and Michael a couple mugs of coffee, pushing the black version over to his friend as he heaped a couple teaspoons into his own.  Taking a sip, he looked over at his two daughters congenially eating side by side, their heads bent conspiratorially toward each other as they spoke together quietly.  Hoping they had taken his admonition earlier to heart and weren't planning any more outlandish ideas to spring on him and Justin, he lowered his own voice to tell Michael, "That...and the fact that Justin's back in town."  His eyes bored into Michael's with deadly seriousness as he confessed, "I want him back, Mikey.  I want him and our family back together again, and I need your help to accomplish that."

Michael nodded; he couldn't say he was totally surprised by the fact that Brian was still in love with Justin, even after all this time.  From the moment that Justin had wondered into their lives, Brian had never been the same.  Oh, he had gone kicking and screaming into their relationship - had even denied and acted out in response to it for a long time - but ultimately his protestations and vehement conviction that he didn't ‘do' romance, love, or relationships had been eventually shot to hell.  And when he had agreed to raise Justin's and Daphne's twins as his own daughters - and, God forbid, had actually settled down into what could be called a ‘domestic' situation with Justin here at Britin - Michael knew Brian was irretrievably and deeply in love with both Justin and their little family.  He glanced over at Kaylee and Katie and silently decided he couldn't blame him.  They were both beautiful girls.  And his mother doted on Katie and was undoubtedly ecstatic about the fact that the entire family unit was together - at least in the same city.  He had no doubt that she had to know - after all, this was his mother they were talking about.  She had been uncharacteristically silent about that fact earlier at the diner, however.  Did she know why Brian was requesting he come here today?  If so, she had done a great job of masking it.  Was he the ONLY one who didn't know what was going on?

"Where IS Justin?  He's not here at Britin?" he asked Brian; he thought he saw a flash of pain pass through his friend's face at the mention of his ex-partner's name, but he couldn't be sure.  He had gotten somewhat rusty now interpreting the Brian Kinney Operation Manual accurately.

"He was," Brian told him, still keeping his voice down so as not to be overheard by his daughters. They had been involved enough; it was time to propel them out of the situation and try and resolve it on their own.  "He was out here last night with Jennifer for dinner."  He recalled the events of last night in his mind before he explained, "He fell on the steps leading down to the basement and hurt his ankle.  It didn't appear to be anything overly serious, but Jennifer was supposed to take him to the urgent care center last night to have it checked out, and I offered to watch the girls for a few days so he could get some rest."  And some time away from me, he couldn't help thinking ruefully.

"Wow," Michael murmured at that surprising revelation.  "How long has it been?  You hadn't seen him since the breakup, had you?"

Brian shook his head.  "No," he confirmed, swallowing hard at the knowledge.  How did all those years slip away from them?  And now they couldn't be recaptured; they couldn't go back - they could only move on and hope for happier years ahead.

Michael nodded.  "I didn't think so.  Did you know he was coming here with Kaylee?"

Brian looked over at him skeptically.  "Are you trying to tell me that your mother didn't tell you any of this?"

"No," Michael protested.  "I swear!  Not even this morning when I picked up the lemon bars!"  He glanced over at the two girls to make sure they weren't overhearing.  "No," he repeated, his voice lowered this time.  "I had no idea Justin or Kaylee was back here.  What happened, Brian? I thought they weren't allowed contact with Katie until she turned eighteen."

"Shh," Brian whispered in admonition, still worried that the girls would hear them.  He raised his voice to call over to his daughters, noticing they were both polishing off their second lemon bar.  "Katie, why don't you go ahead and feed the horses?  There're some apples in the bottom crisper drawer of the fridge if you want to take a couple out to them."  Katie loved being around the horses so much that typically she was the one to perform a lot of the maintenance duties with them, including feeding them and grooming them.  Her reward was getting to ride them on a frequent basis, and she had become quite the horsewoman as a result.

He watched as her face lit up at the thought; she never turned down an opportunity to visit with her beloved pets.  "Come on, Kaylee!" she told her sister as she stood up and pulled the other girl to her feet.  The last thing she wanted to do was hang around and listen to some dry adult conversation between their father and Michael; this would be much more exciting.

"I don't know," Kaylee told her, hedging as she just stood there practically glued to her spot.  The only other time she had visited the stables since her return to Britin had been the day that her father had realized who she was; she could still remember how large and intimidating they had seemed to her, despite how comfortable her sister appeared to be around them. After all, though, Katie had grown up with them; they were a far departure from her cats at home.

"Aw, come on, Kaylee!" Katie chided her as she began to gently drag her toward the door leading into the kitchen.  "They're just big babies, I'll show you!  Let's get some apples to feed them; they'll be eating out of your hands - for real!  As soon as you give them an apple, they'll be your best friend.  You just have to get used to them, that's all."

"They really are gentle," Brian told her with a tender smile.  "Go on - the more you're around them, the more you'll find out that they really are very tame.  Maybe the two of you can take them out for a ride.  It's a great day to do that."  The day promised to be one with low humidity and in the upper 70's with a light breeze; just perfect for a leisurely ride around the gently-rolling hills of the estate.

Kaylee finally nodded as she followed her sister to the back door and followed her inside.  She still wasn't convinced that she would ever be completely comfortable around them, much less actually get on the back of one of them, but both her father and her sister didn't seem to have any issue with them, so she was willing to give it a try.  She did want to appear to be some big sissy or coward in front of her more confident sister or her father.

A few minutes later after securing a couple of red delicious apples for the animals, both girls headed toward the path that would lead them to the stables, Michael and Brian electing to stay behind at their patio table to talk.

Fifteen Minutes Later

Michael shook his head.  "I had no idea," he murmured after Brian had explained how the twins had been reunited, thanks in large part to Jennifer.  Something told him that his own mother had a lot to do with it, also, but to hear how Brian had come face-to-face with his other daughter as well as see Justin again after so long had to be a big adjustment for his friend, and it had no doubt brought back a lot of memories, good and bad.  "You know Maw has kept in touch with Justin by phone, though.  She told me that much at least.  She's filled me in on his career and talks about Kaylee's activities all the time.  I've even seen photos of her that she keeps in her wallet, thanks to Justin's mom.  Although she swore to me that they never discussed the situation between the two of you.  He always purposely sidestepped that issue.  She said he didn't want to talk about it, and he made that clear from the beginning."

Brian had to smile at that statement.  "Well, obviously he knew if he told your mother all the details, everyone else in the Pitts would know by the next day, too."

Michael nodded with a smile.  "Yeah.  My mom may be getting older, but she's still sharp as a tack with details.  And it's still one of her favorite hobbies," he said with a grin.  He sobered at the troubled look on his friend's face.  He and Brian might not be as close as they once were, but that still didn't mean he didn't care about him - or he was unable to recognize his friend's distress.  "So why am I here, Brian?  I'm assuming it has something to do with Justin in addition to the girls."

Brian ran his hand through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck and feeling the tension there.  "Yeah," he told him as he lifted his gaze to stare over at the man he had known for so long.  In a way, it was kind of like a cycle of life - they had confided in each other numerous times as teenage, angst-ridden boys, detailing all their hopes and dreams as only two gay boys could do as Brian served as the reassuring influence to his more gawky and hesitant friend.  Brian had matured into a confident, assertive man - someone who knew what and who he wanted and successfully went after it.  Somewhere along the line, though, he had found himself turning more and more to Michael during the anxious times:  the family struggles, issues with his son, insecurities over Justin (although he would deny that's what it was to his dying breath; for all outward appearances, Brian was NEVER unsure of himself).  Brian had become the person needing assurance from Michael then, rather than the other way around.  Then they had drifted apart again.  Now here he was once more - looking across the table at the man who was probably his only chance of winning Justin back again, of deciphering exactly what had possessed him to do what he had done so long ago that still to this day had such a critical bearing on his life.

"I need you to help me understand what I did."

Michael shook his head in confusion.  "Did what, Brian?"

"Why...why I would risk everything I had, Michael.  Why I would risk everything that meant the most to me for one meaningless, stupid fuck that meant so little and destroyed so much."  Even now as he said it the whole thing was so preposterous that he would have even contemplated it at the time.  What the hell had he been thinking?  Had it been worth it?  Hell no - it had never been ‘worth it.'  At the time, though, even he couldn't fathom what the consequences would be - and how long-lasting they would become.  Nor could he really voice to himself - much less to anyone else - why he had done it.  He wasn't so hard up (okay, maybe a poor choice of words!) that he had to resort to fucking the potential client's son just to get an account.  If he hadn't gotten that one, there would have been another one come along that was just as lucrative.  Was his ego or pride worth more than his love for his partner and their children?

Michael nodded. Brian had told him what had happened right after it had occurred, down to the destroyed look on Justin's face and the picnic basket he had thrown on the floor as he had arrived at Kinnetik just in time to see him and this other man emerging from Brian's private bathroom after their hasty fuck, both men still exhibiting the tell-tale signs of their endeavor from the crumpled appearance of their clothing to the sweat beaded on their foreheads.  It had been the one time that Brian hadn't bothered to groom himself back into order like he normally did, thinking with it being lunch time that no one would be around and feeling pressured to move onto another project that was taking up way too much time and attention and was due to be completed by that afternoon.  That one time he had neglected to be careful, though, and hadn't thought it would be a problem, he had destroyed everything that he and Justin had created.

"Justin still hasn't let that go?" Michael asked him softly.  Of course he hadn't, though; if he had he was convinced both of these stubborn men would have been reunited as a family a long time ago.  The fact that they hadn't, though, was both ludicrous in a way but also so typical of two such proud men.  He knew only too well now, though, how fleeting life could be and if HE had been involved in such an upsetting experience, he still would have found a way to work through it well before now.  Perhaps he could honor Ben's memory in a way, however, by trying to help resolve this situation now.

"No," Brian confirmed, his jaw set.  "I told him last night that I was tired of apologizing and feeling like shit over what had happened, and the ball was now in his court.  But he still won't let it go, even now - not until one thing happens.  That's where YOU come in."

"I'll help you any way I can," Michael told him sincerely to Brian's relief.  "But what can I do?"

"Be what you've been for me in the past," he implored.  "Be my unpaid fucking psychiatrist and help me understand myself so I can explain it to him."  He stared in Michael's eyes, allowing his friend to see the pain hidden there as he whispered uncharacteristically, "Please, Mikey.  This is the most important campaign of persuasion I'll ever undertake.  I can feel it - this is going to be my one and only chance to make things right.  I meant what I told Justin last night - I'm tired of feeling guilty all the time about what happened.  And he DOES need to let it go.  But I know - I just know - he can't do that until I can explain it to him; until I can fucking explain it to myself."

Michael nodded in understanding, allowing himself to go back in time to that period.  That time when Brian had shown up at his doorstep when Ben had been at the university teaching.  That day when Brian had once more shed tears that he normally didn't allow anyone to see over his and Justin's inability to work things out.  Over the fact that Justin was going to petition for a formal separation of their assets as partners.  Over the realization that if something wasn't done, the life he and Justin had carved out for themselves would be irretrievably severed.

"Do you remember what happened?" Brian whispered, allowing the pain to engulf him once more as he recalled the pale, ashen look on Justin's face over the realization of what he had done.  "I'll never forget that afternoon," he told him as his eyes clouded over in memory.  "Even if I wanted to."  He blinked to refocus as he looked over into his friend's eyes.

"Yes, I remember, "Michael told him.  "I remember you telling me you were trying to woo some big name client who was too old-fashioned to appreciate the edginess of your campaign; what was it?" he said, thinking back to that time when Brian had shown up on his front porch reeking of way too much Beam after having ingested poppers, a deadly combination.  But at the time it was almost like Brian was trying to kill himself all over again, so he imagined he really didn't care.  That wasn't exactly true, though; he knew Brian loved Justin deeply as well as his children.  He was just in so much pain at the time he didn't realize what the consequences might be.  He only knew his world was falling apart.

"Oh, yeah," he said as the details began to fill in.   "It was some type of medical supply corporation; Ted told me at the time that the CEO was hopelessly out of date when it came to introducing internet access to his customers, and you needed to work on his son, instead, to try and get him on board since the younger one was more in touch with technology.  Only your plan to ‘persuade' him backfired - the son didn't go along with it after all and Justin showed up at exactly the wrong time to bring you some lunch."

Brian let out a ragged breath, not really wanting to rehash it all but knowing he had to.  "Yeah," he told his friend, nodding.  "But why, Michael?  Why would I have even done that?  I hadn't been with another guy since Justin and I had the kids.  Why then?"

"You honestly don't remember what set it off now?"

Brian shook his head.

"The day before it happened, I persuaded you to go out to Woody's with me for a drink after I closed up the comic shop," he told him.  "Justin and Ben were both out of town for the weekend; I think Justin for some art exhibition in Philadelphia, maybe?  I'm not sure now, actually, but I think that was the city.  It was a Sunday - and both of your girls were staying with Maw that weekend; you were due to pick them up later that night after you picked up Justin at the airport.  I remember you always complained about how she spoiled the girls rotten whenever they were with her, but Maw never took vacations back then - she considered the time when she could be with them to BE her vacation.  Ben, I think, was at some kind of seminar in Cleveland - some consortium on gay culture in contemporary fictional works.  I remember him saying that he was amazed they were having such a thing - he was so excited about it!  Anyway, I can remember us sitting at one of the tables at Woody, just catching up, and..."

Brian frowned, trying to remember the details that Michael was describing.  He had been to Woody's so many times over the years that this one didn't really seem any different than the others.  Why would it?

"And what, Michael?  We used to go there all the time."

Michael nodded.  "Yeah...But that was before the girls were born - and you were considered domesticated."

Brian narrowed his brows in anger.  He never did like the sound of that word.  "What the fuck are you talking about, Michael?  I'm not some fucking pet cat or something."

"You don't remember that night, Brian?  What those idiots next to us said in so loud a stage whisper they could be heard across the fucking street?"  He shook his head.  "They were a couple of dickheads, but it set off a chain reaction. It was like a freight train waiting to wreck; I could see it coming.  I just didn't know at the time how it would play out."

Brian rolled his eyes in frustration.  "Michael, just fucking spit it out!  What are you talking about?"

"The two guys at the table closest to us saw you take out a copy of a photo you carried in your wallet; it was a smaller version of the professional portrait that Justin had given you as a present for Christmas a few months before that, remember?"

Brian reached inside his jeans' pocket to retrieve his well-worn, leather wallet and pulled out a faded, slightly torn picture.  He stared at it for a few seconds as he gently rubbed his fingers over it before he turned to show it to Michael.  "You mean this one?" he asked softly.

Michael nodded; he should have known somehow that Brian would still have it.  It showed Justin in a sitting pose, one child on each knee as they all stared at the camera.  Brian had been so proud of that picture back then - his eyes had practically glowed with happiness as well as pride as he had shown it to him.

"You were showing it to me and commenting that you had a larger version of it back home over the fireplace in your study, and how you thought it was the best picture that had ever been taken of the three of them together, and how you thought it was the best present you had ever been given - except for when the girls had actually been born.  I don't know if you were being so mellow then because you had had a few drinks, or if you were just in this sort of melancholy mood because you were separated from Justin and the girls."

Brian opened his mouth to protest that he would never be that maudlin, but Michael shook his head as if to say he wasn't fooling him for a second and he decided to stay silent.

"...And then Maw had called you while we were there to ask you to pick up some milk for the girls because she had run out," he continued without missing so much as a beat.  "You had her on speakerphone because your phone was sitting on the table, and before you could change the setting everyone nearby could overhear what she was saying.  The assholes at the table next to us were already drunk out of their minds by then anyway, but they started making comments about how the ‘great Brian Kinney had finally been neutered by his boy toy and how he had turned into some prissy little housewife.  How you had traded in your briefcase for a diaper bag and how you had to stop at the grocery to buy milk on the way home now instead of Beam.  They just went on and on, Brian, until you actually turned around and punched one of them in the face to get them to shut up!"

Slowly the details began to coalesce.  The punching of the asshole who had been most vocal, the snarkiness of the two men who had kept taunting him with insulting, smart-ass remarks about being turned into a wimpy little faggot.  To his complete mortification, too, somehow - he still didn't know how - somehow the pricks had learned about his testicular cancer and how they had heard that normally when a guy got that, the doctors had to remove a ball to keep it from spreading.  So when the one guy had made a comment about him being castrated, it had all been too much - he had reared up on his 6'2" frame and had coldcocked the guy where he sat, causing the man to tumble from his chair and onto the floor in a bloody heap.  After he had gotten done with them, they certainly didn't have any justification for calling him a housefrau then, although the other man had managed to escape with merely a kick to his groin as he stumbled out of the bar.

"Shit."

Michael smirked.  "I take it that means you're beginning to remember."

"Yeah...But I guess I shoved it to the back of my mind after what happened right after that."

Michael leaned forward across the table.  "Don't you get it?  It's as clear as the nose on your face.  That's exactly why you did what you did!  You saw that as a challenge to your masculinity, and you fought back the only way you knew how; by finding the first meaningless guy and fucking him, just to show that you could.  Only you didn't realize at the time how much it would backfire and what it would cost you."  He peered intently into his friend's eyes, noticing the faraway look that signified he was going back in time to relive what had happened.  "In other words, you did it because you were afraid."

Brian blinked as he turned to stare into his friend's eyes; his own flashed with both incredulity as well as anger as he spit out, "Afraid?  That's bullshit, Michael!  I wasn't...Afraid."  He snorted in contempt.  "I don't think you know me as well as you think you do. I was NOT afraid."

"Oh, yes, you were," Michael instantly challenged him, refusing to back down.  "That's exactly what the problem was, Brian.  You've always been afraid of change.  Does the little scarfing incident ring a bell?  Why do you think you tried to kill yourself? Because your birthday meant that you were growing older and you didn't like it; you feared what might happen, that you might not look as hot as you always used to, and that it reminded you of your mortality.  And why do you think Brandon pissed you off so much when he came into the club?  Because he reminded you of a younger version of yourself, and you were afraid of being replaced as top dog."

"You're full of it, Mikey," Brian told him with deadly quiet as he played with the handle of his coffee mug, but inside the whispers of truth were beginning to surface.

"No, I'm not, and you know it," he told him firmly, beginning to quickly reacquaint himself with Brian's denial tactics.  "As much as you loved Justin and the girls, you were afraid of changing from a sought-after club boy into a family man.  And when those assholes expressed your biggest fears aloud, you reacted in the only way you normally did - with an upfront, fuck-you sort of rebuttal.  That's why you did what you did, Brian, I'm convinced of it."

Brian opened his mouth to issue another protest, but one look at the determined, certain look in Michael's eyes and he closed it.  His brow furrowed as he gave it serious thought.  WAS Michael right?  Was that the reason for his actions that day?

"Think about it, Brian.  You know I'm right.  It's the only thing that makes sense to me."

Finally, Brian lifted his gaze from the table to stare into his friend's face, seeing both compassion as well as sympathy there.  "I was wrong about something," he finally admitted at last as the pieces began to fall into place.

"Wrong about what?" Michael asked him, wondering if he regretted asking him to come out to see him.  God knows he had wondered if he was doing the right thing himself.

"Before you got here, I wasn't sure if you would really be able to help me.  I thought since we weren't as close now that maybe this would be a waste of time."  He took a deep breath and thrust his tongue into his cheek as the old, boyish-looking Brian emerged for just a moment.  "I was wrong about that."  As Michael smiled back at him fondly, relieved that he had been able to help, Brian softly added, "Thank you, Mikey."

Michael's heart leapt at the old familiar nickname.  "You're welcome.  Now the question is...What are you going to do about it?"

Brian stared out toward the pathway that his daughters had just taken toward the stables.  There was so much at stake now.  "I'm going to get my family back, that's what I'm going to do."

Same Time at the Stables...

"Just stay there," Katie instructed her sister as she dragged a small, wooden mounting block over to Ceres' side.  "It'll be fun, you'll see."

Kaylee eyed the large beast beside her ominously.  How had she let herself be talked into this?  One minute she had been feeding an apple to the horse, the next minute she found herself actually agreeing to try and ride him.  Was she out of her mind?

"We'll just stay around the stables," Katie assured her, noticing her look of hesitation.  "That way you can get used to riding him first.  And then once you're more comfortable we can take them back up into the woods where all the trails are."

"I don't know..." Kaylee didn't want to look like a big chicken, but the horse was so big.  His dark brown eyes looked almost like they were the size of dinner plates to her as Ceres' head slowly swung around so he could look at her.  His head reached out to nuzzle her hand with his lips and she jumped at the unexpected, ticklish sensation.  She couldn't help giggling despite her fear.

"He's looking for another apple," Katie told her.  She scooted the block closer to the horse's body and grabbed the reins.  "Okay," she began.  "Step up onto the block."  She handed the reins to her sister as she told her, "Hold onto these with your left hand.  You can grab onto his mane, too, if that makes you feel safer."  Her sister nodded, figuring she needed all the help she could get, as she reached out and fisted a large swath of coarse horsehair in her hand, along with the well-worn, leather reins.

Kaylee nodded her approval.  "Now keep the reins and the hair in your hand and put your weight on your right foot."  Katie let out a tense breath, his heart pounding in trepidation, as she did what her sister advised.

"Good.  Now here goes - hold on tight while you put your left foot into the stirrup.  You're going to swing your right leg up and over his hind quarters.  Don't worry - he knows what to do.  You'll be fine," she reassured her.  "Just don't kick him when you get on," she added as Kaylee stood there, biting her lip fretfully, unaware that she was perfectly mimicking one of her own father's habits when he was anxious as well.

She let out another tense breath before she steeled herself.  It was now or never.  Glancing at her sister to build up her courage, she nodded as she stepped into the metal stirrup and swung her right leg up over the horse's back, in awe of how wide his girth was.  Holding onto the horse's hair as well as the reins for dear life, she tottered briefly as she sat up on the saddle and her heart began to pound in fear.

"Put both your feet in the stirrups to steady yourself, Kaylee," Katie commanded.  "Hurry up! Keep holding on!"

Kaylee nodded as she hurriedly placed her feet into the stirrups; her prior experience in both gymnastics as well as cheerleading helped her find her balance on top of the horse as she finally settled more comfortably into the saddle, feeling the corded muscles of the animal underneath her as he shifted slightly from side to side, impatient to get moving.  Sitting up a little shakily on top of Ceres, she let out a breath of relief as she glanced down at her sister, who was grinning from ear-to-ear.

"You did it, Kaylee!  You did it!  I knew you could do it!  You look great up there!"

Kaylee flashed her a tentative smile, still getting used to being so high up.  "It feels strange," she told her sister.  She had never been on the back of an animal before.

Katie grinned.  "You'll get used to it."  Retrieving a yellow nylon rope from the ground, Katie walked over to attach it to a snap ring mounted on the horse's halter as she told her, "I'm going to walk you around with him for a while so you can get used to the feel and to using the reins, okay? Don't worry - you'll be used to it in no time; after all, you ARE my sister," she said proudly.

Kaylee nodded.  "Okay," she said warily.  "Just take it slow, though."

Katie nodded back at her with a smile.  "You'll be fine.  Now hold on."

Thirty Minutes Later - Back at the House

Michael stood next to the patio table, getting ready to leave.  He and Brian had spent the past half an hour catching up on what had happened in their lives, Michael even discussing Derek.  He hadn't meant to really get so in-depth about the new man in his life, but once he and Brian had gotten past their initial awkwardness around each other, their camaraderie and easy-going relationship from before had quickly reasserted itself and they had spent the past several minutes in a more relaxed setting.  It still wasn't the devil-may-care, no-holds-barred types of conversations they might have engaged in before, but it signified the possible return of a more cordial, closer relationship similar to what they had experienced in the past.

"Well, I'd better get going," Michael said softly as he glanced down at his watch, noticing it was mid-afternoon already; he had politely declined Brian's invitation for a grill-out, realizing he had to get back to town.  "Derek usually fills me in on what's going on at the end of the day with the construction.  It won't be long now until it's finished; you'll have to come and see it once he's done with it."  He smiled in anticipation over both seeing his new friend again as well as how great the shop will look once it's ready.  "Wait till you see it, Brian!  It'll have these lighted display cases so I can stock more collectibles, and more shelves along the top, not to mention the extra room!  I'm thinking of holding comic book signings for new artists in the extra space, because there's room for a small sitting area now."  His entire face glowed with happiness.

Brian smiled indulgently at his friend.  "You're so pathetic, Mikey," he told him affectionately as he grasped Michael's shoulders.  He gazed with amusement into the brown-haired man's eyes before he leaned over and gave him a soft, brief kiss on the lips.  "Thanks," he repeated sincerely as he pulled back and let go of him.  "I mean that."

Michael smiled in pleasure that he could help him.  Despite the sometimes tumultuous relationship he had had before with Justin, he still wished them both the best.  He knew that only Justin had made his former best friend happy before, and he knew that only Justin could bring that happiness back to him.  Ultimately, too, only Justin could determine if the four of them would finally be reunited as a family.  He knew all too well how much happiness that could bring someone, and for just a brief moment he allowed himself to mourn over what used to be in his own life.  Perhaps, though, somewhere in the future that feeling might just return for him, too.  In the meantime, he would rejoice in the family that he DID have and look forward to what was to come.  "You're welcome," he told Brian.  "I hope it works out.  For all of you."  Brian nodded his gratitude as he chided, "And this time let's not take so long before we see each other again.  The comic shop should be open soon and I expect you there for the grand reopening."

Brian grinned but nodded.  "I'll be there.  And maybe I'll bring Captain Astro with me.  Even if HE is supposed to be dead."

Michael smiled back at him as turned to go.  "He's not dead as long as he's here in my heart," he teased back as Brian rolled his eyes.  He reached out his hand to grasp Brian's in a firm handshake before he dropped it and added sincerely, "Good Luck."

"Thanks.  I think I'm going to need it."  Both of them knew just how stubborn Justin could be, but Brian could be very persistent when he was pursuing a goal, and he wasn't planning on being defeated this time.  Now he felt like he had the added assurance that he could finally explain to Justin his motivations behind his previous actions, thanks in large part to his friend, and perhaps that would be just enough to turn the tide in his favor.

Michael nodded.  "I'll walk myself out," he told his friend; turning to leave, he had just reached the back doors when Brian's cellphone began to ring.

Fifteen Minutes Earlier Near the Stables...

"You're doing great, Kaylee!" Katie praised her sister as they both rode side by side now.  Kaylee had proven to be a quick study and was now slowly swaying side to side on top of Ceres, her body moving in perfect synchronization with the horse's gait.  Despite her earlier fears, she appeared to be a natural-born horsewoman, so much so that Katie had only needed to spend approximately ten minutes leading her and Ceres around the pasture next to the stables before she gained enough confidence to ride on her own without the lead.  Katie had led them back toward the stable long enough for her to quickly mount Eton, and after a few more minutes of practice, they were slowly ambling along one of the dirt trails that led to the back of the grassy area.  If Kaylee continued to do as well as she was doing presently, they could perhaps even take one of the more demanding trails that led up into the woods tomorrow.  But for now, Katie decided it was best that they stay out in the open areas, void of any obstacles, until her sister gained a little more confidence.

Same Time - Back at the Liberty Diner

Debbie glanced up at the sound of the overhead bell atop the diner's door and her face broke out into a beaming smile that rivaled Justin's; after all, one of her favorite people in the world had just walked in.  Catching the young man's eye, she received a smile in return as Gus came walking up to her side and gave her a tight, vise-like hug.  Instead of her normal, ebullient greeting, though, she kept herself uncharacteristically quiet as she heard him whisper, "Is he still here?"

She pulled back to look into his expressive, brown eyes as she nodded.  With a tilt of her head, she indicated Justin sitting in a far booth, his back to them as he talked to Emmett.  "Over there," she whispered back.  "I found out from your grandmother Jen that he's waiting for her to pick him up.  But I have a feeling something's going to make her run late," he said with a grin as Gus nodded back at her in understanding.

Debbie had known about Gus's visit for months now - it was a grandmother's right to know about these things - but she had hesitated before calling him on the phone a little while ago to tell him that there was another visitor - or should she say, visitors - in town.  She just couldn't resist telling him, though, that not only was Justin back in town, but also his long-lost sister.  There were two reasons for her once more choosing to intervene - one, she didn't want Gus being blindsided by either revelation, and two, she had a feeling that this boy, young man, actually, since he was now almost an adult - would be able to perhaps get through to Justin when no one else could.  So against what she knew would be Justin's wishes, she had slipped out back a while ago, just long enough to call her grandson and tell him what was going on and to find out if he could possibly make a pit stop at the diner before traveling onto Britin.

After he got over his initial shock, he had agreed to call his father and make up some sort of excuse as to why he needed to stay in town for a while and to ask if he could just spend the night with his Grandma Debbie before Brian came to pick him up tomorrow at the diner.  To his relief, it had worked like a charm, and now he felt his heart hammering in his chest as he looked over to see a familiar, blond head peeking over the top of one of the booths, Emmett engaged in a serious conversation with him.  It had been so long since he had either spoken to or seen Justin, the man he had once regarded as another father to him, and the sight of him filled him with a mixture of both anticipation as well as anger.  He had a lot to talk about with this man, almost a decade's worth.

"I wonder how you know that?" Gus teased back as Debbie patted him affectionately on the cheek.  He reckoned that no matter HOW old he got, his grandmother would still respond in pretty much the same way, but he had to admit it really didn't bother him.  He actually felt lucky to be a part of such an extended family.  One particular part of his ‘extended family,' though, was about to get one hell of a surprise.  They had a lot to hash out, and this was his big chance to do just that.

"Good Luck, Baby," Debbie whispered as Gus nodded.  Turning around, he slowly approached the two men engaged in an animated conversation, both so focused on what each one was saying that they didn't even notice his arrival at first.  As he got to within a few feet of their booth, however, his movement must have caught Emmett's attention, however, as Emmett turned his head to look up at him, and the flamboyant man's face broke out into a smile.  "Why, if it isn't Brian Kinney, Jr.," he teased, referring to how much Gus looked like his dad now.  Once he had reached puberty, the boy had shot up like a weed seemingly overnight, now standing almost as tall as his father did.  He had the same thatch of brown hair tinged with a hint of auburn and the same, slightly chiseled build.  Even his long-fingered hands and large feet were replicas of Brian's.  And as he curled his lip under almost shyly at the attention, it was as if a younger, teenaged version of Brian was standing there.

Justin's heart leapt to his throat at both the mention of Brian's name as well as the ‘junior part.'  What did Emmett mean?  Could it be...?  He whipped his head around to stare into a face he would have recognized anywhere.  The boy standing in front of him was years older than the last time he had seen him - just before the girls had moved to Toronto.  But there was no mistaking who it was just the same.

"G...Gus?" he whispered in shocked recognition.  "My God - is it really you?"  So many memories instantly rose to his mind:  babysitting him when Brian was unavailable, using colored pencils on the floor to draw a ‘masterpiece' together, feeding him baby food that Gus promptly spit out onto the loft's hardwood floor in disgust to the consternation of his father, making silly faces at him to get him to stop crying, softly singing to him at the Munchers' house as Mel and Brian had one more of their catfights over the best way to take care of ‘their' child in the other room, pushing him on the swing sets at the local playground, attending a Pirates game with him and Brian as he got older, helping him to ride his first two-wheeled bicycle.  So many instances where the two of them had bonded together.  Which made his decision to break off cleanly from any more contact with him all the more bittersweet and difficult, even though the physical distance of their separation had helped to minimize the sting somewhat.  That hadn't made it easy, though, especially knowing he was forcing that same separation between Gus and one of his sisters that he had had to endure himself.  That had been the hardest thing of all, but at the time he really thought it was the only way.

Gus's lips drew into a tight line as he stared into Justin's face.  It was an older face, but still quite a handsome one.  His own memories bubbled up inside of him of how kind Justin had always been to him and how much he had meant to him, and he found himself trying hard not to surrender to all the good times he had shared with this man.  "Yeah, it's me," he told Justin as he stared into the shocked face.

Justin's lips broke out into a delighted smile, despite the circumstances.  "I don't believe it," he murmured as he scrutinized the boy who was now pretty much a man.  "Wow...Em's right; you look so much like Brian now!  It's amazing!"

Gus wanted to tell him that he had no way of knowing that since he had never bothered to come and see him, and to ask how he would know for sure that he looked like his father since he hadn't even seen him in so long, either, but he bit back his response as Justin urged him, "Join us."

Em scooted over to give Gus room as the lanky teenager slid in beside him and peered over at his father's ex-partner, the man who had won his father's heart and then broken it afterward.  He had never heard the entire story - all the details - but he knew enough to know that when his father and Justin had separated and each had taken one daughter with them, his father had never been the same again.  And while it might be wrong to hold Justin one hundred percent responsible for it, he couldn't help resenting what he had done to him.

Justin shook his head in amazement; it was like one, big (not so happy) family reunion today.  He had expected to run into Debbie at the diner eventually, but not both Em and Gus, especially, and not all in the same day.  "How have you been?" he asked Gus softly.  "Do you live here now?"

Gus shook his head, his body language stiff and somewhat stilted as he answered, "No, just came in to visit Dad."  He nodded over toward Debbie as he explained, "Grandma called and said you were here and asked me if I wanted to come in and see you."

Justin nodded, sighing mentally.  Was there no end to the good-intentioned but unwelcome matchmakers around here?  Emmett had already confessed his part in arranging his and Brian's romantic dinner last night, the one that had turned into a disaster, and now Debbie had called Gus to come and see him, too?  Shit.  He couldn't win.  "I wish I could say I'm surprised by that, but I'm not," he told Gus dryly.  He smiled over at Gus, noticing the boy didn't return the gesture as he told him, "Well, I'm actually glad that she did, though.  I've been wanting to see you, Gus; I've never stopped thinking about you..."

"Bullshit," the boy spat out in response as both Em and Justin eyes widened in shock at his brusqueness.  "If that's the case you could have done that a long time ago."

Em glanced over at Justin, feeling sympathy for him over the caustic tone of the boy's voice as he noticed Gus's and Justin's eyes boring into each in a silent battle of wills.  Feeling decidedly like a third wheel and thinking they needed some time alone, Em said, "Uh...If you will excuse me, Boys, I have to get to my job.  If you wouldn't mind?" he asked Gus as he made a motion with his hand that he wanted to scoot out of the seat.

Gus nodded silently as he rose back to his feet and allowed Em to get out.  As Gus slid back into the side opposite Justin, Emmett flashed a reassuring smile over to his friend as he said, "Sweetie, I hope you decide to stay here, but if you don't," he said as he hurriedly reached for a clean napkin on a nearby table and wrote down his new cell number, "call me before you go, okay?"

Justin nodded as Em leaned down to give him a peck on the cheek.  "Hang in there," he whispered in encouragement, knowing that he might need the morale boost.  Justin nodded back at him with a grateful smile before, in a flash of gold and dark purple, Emmett quickly walked toward the cashier to pay his bill and soon disappeared out the door.

Justin eyed the young man staring back at him defiantly, his arms crossed over his chest.  He could tell Gus was upset by the way his darkened eyes were looking at him; he really didn't have to verbally express it.  "You're mad at me."

"You're very perceptive," was the sarcastic reply.

"Why?"

Gus snorted.  "You really have to ask that, Justin?  You've kept me from seeing Kaylee for years now and haven't done anything to keep in touch with me.  That's been bad enough.  But the worst part?  You broke Dad's heart when you and Kaylee left, do you know that?  You broke it and stomped on it.  Do you know what that did to him, Justin?  How it hurt him?  The only good part is that Katie didn't know she even had another sister until recently.  I didn't have that luxury; Dad told me about Kaylee a long time ago."

"How do you what know Katie does or doesn't know?" Justin asked him, his heart thumping at the accusatory, hurt tone in Gus's voice.

"Katie and I keep in touch - unlike you.  SHE told me all about it recently."

Justin blew out a tense breath between his lips, feeling like a pariah in the eyes of a boy he had adored and still cared a great deal about.  "Gus...I don't think your father told you the whole story; you were pretty young when all this happened."

Gus snorted.  "Maybe.  But I'm not now.  So why don't you tell me your version of it."

Justin sighed.  Why was everyone insisting on being judge, jury and executioner regarding his and Brian's relationship?  "Okay," he agreed wearily just as his cellphone began to ring.

Fifteen Minutes Earlier...

"How does it feel?" Katie asked her sister as she looked over and smiled at her astride Ceres.  Her sister's demeanor had gradually changed from one of intense fear to a more relaxed one as she and Ceres slowly ambled around the pasture area behind the stables.  "I don't know what you were worried about," she chided her sister.  "I think you have a natural talent for riding."

Kaylee held on tightly to the reins, still not convinced she wasn't making a mistake agreeing to this. But she had to admit - it felt kind of powerful to sit so high up on top of such a majestic animal.  It gave her a whole new perspective on the world around her.  From her position, she could see for miles around the low-lying hills and it was quite picturesque.  She could see why Katie enjoyed drawing scenes around Britin - with the green hills, multitude of wildflowers supplying a burst of color in all directions, and the occasional horse, cow, or sheep grazing peacefully in the pastures surrounding the property, it was quite lovely.  Perhaps not the fast pace that SHE was used to back home, but she was slowly coming to appreciate a less hurried lifestyle here with her sister.

She turned to smile over at Katie who was riding her own horse close by.  "It's still kind of scary," she couldn't help admitting.  "But it's kind of nice; it's relaxing."  She frowned as the horse stepped over a large lump of dirt in the path and jostled her slightly.  "Why do I feel like my butt is going to be sore tomorrow morning, though?"

Katie laughed.  "It will be," she told her as Kaylee looked over at her in dismay.  "Just like after you've ridden a bicycle after not using it for a while.  You're using muscles you probably don't normally use.  But it'll get better the more you do it."

Kaylee nodded as she swayed back and forth atop the horse, letting the horse's natural movements guide her.  "How far are we going?  You know Dad doesn't even know we took them out."

Katie grinned.  "I know - won't he and Daddy be surprised when they find out that you've actually been riding a horse?  They'll be so amazed!"

Kaylee beamed back at her proudly.  Feeling a little more emboldened, she held onto the reins with her left hand as she leaned down to stroke Cere's neck fondly with her other.  "I guess you're not so bad after all," she murmured to the animal with a smile before she straightened up and sat back down more securely on the saddle.

"One more lap around and then we'd better take them back," Katie told her sister as they slowly continued to trod around the fenced-in perimeter of the grassy pasture.

Kaylee nodded as she congenially rode side-by-side with Katie, just savoring the quiet and solitude of Britin's grounds.  It was a welcome respite from the somewhat tense and troubling times they had been enduring lately with the situation regarding their fathers, and it gave her a sense of peace she desperately craved.  It also filled her with hope that perhaps somehow everything would still work out between all of them.  It had to - she couldn't imagine any other outcome.  "It's beautiful out here, Katie," she told her sister as she smiled over at her.  "I'm glad you talked me into doing this; I'm having fun."

"Me, too," Katie replied warmly.  No sooner had she gotten the sentiment out of her mouth, however, when a loud noise interrupted the stillness; it was miles away, a dynamite detonation from a construction crew blasting away at a solid sheet of bedrock to create a new passage for the expressway, but it was enough to spook Kaylee's horse, who whinnied in fright and reared up unexpectedly on his hind legs in a state of panic.  His front legs pawed the air in circles as if he were on the ground as Kaylee's heart pounded in terror.  She grabbed tightly onto the reins, feeling her body being shaken around like a rag doll.

"Kaylee!" Katie shrieked in fear.  "Hold on!" she shouted as she quickly dismounted from Eton and Kaylee screamed.  Her eyes wide with horror, she watched as her sister lost her hold on the reins and was thrown from the horse; Ceres promptly galloped away toward the stables, trying to find somewhere to hide from the blast as Kaylee's body lay crumpled and still on the ground.

"Kaylee!" Katie screamed at her sister as she rushed to her side and knelt down.  "Kaylee, can you hear me?"  She reached down to brush her sister's hair away from her forehead, hoping to rouse her when she touched her, but she remained deathly quiet.  "Kaylee, please," she keened to her almost in a prayer as she rocked back and forth on the ground.  "Say something.  Wake up!"  Her eyes filled with tears of alarm; she shook her sister by the shoulder urgently, but Kaylee didn't move.  "Oh, my God," she cried out as she looked around for anyone, anything to help her.  "Somebody help me!" she screamed.  "Kaylee!"

Pursing her lips together to try and stem the tears that began to flow, she quickly stood up, her hands shaking violently, as she reached inside her pocket while she kept her eyes trained on her sister's unmoving body, locating her phone and punching in her father's one-digit, preprogrammed number.   "Hurry up, hurry up..." she pleaded as it started to ring.  "Please..."