*FLASHBACK*

Pittsburgh – Alleghany County Courthouse

“Order!  This hearing will now come to order!  The Honorable Judge Prewitt Holloway presiding!”

The authoritative voice of the bailiff announcing the arrival of the judge caused Brian’s head to rise and peer at the man who would be deciding the fate of his and Justin’s two daughters.  As he stood up along with the rest of the small audience in the courtroom, he stole a glance over at Justin who was standing next to his own attorney nearby and he swallowed the lump in his throat as their eyes locked for a couple of seconds before he glanced away. 

When Kaylee and Katherine Taylor-Kinney had been born a year and a half ago, he never in his wildest dreams thought he and Justin would wind up here in court, battling over whom would get custody of their twin daughters.  Of course, before he would have never even dreamed he’d ever agree to have any more children in the first place.  But that was before Gus……..and before Justin.  Before the bomb that had forced him to face some startling realities and had made him realize how much he loved Justin and wanted to be with him. 

Admittedly, it had taken some persistent persuasion on Brian’s part to convince his partner that he had really meant what he said, having not exactly been a very fervent proponent of monogamy or commitment before. Eventually, though, he had worn Justin down and convinced him that he really did want to be with only him.  And at first, it had been good, even great.  He had purchased their current home, Britin, for the two of them to live in as sort of a new beginning for their relationship.  They had kept the loft for occasional overnight stays in the city when the need or desire warranted, but despite Lindsey’s adamant declaration that Justin could only pursue his art career in New York City, Justin’s career had flourished in their new home.  Brian had even had an art studio constructed out of the carriage house that was nestled in majestic pine trees and sat several yards back from the main house for Justin to craft his masterpieces, and to their delight (but not much to Brian’s surprise), Justin had garnered enough attention from the article in Art Forum magazine that soon his works were in demand, both in Pittsburgh as well as elsewhere.  His talent had quickly become noticed by several gallery owners from LA to Chicago to New York, all of whom began to clamor for his attention and his paintings to display, to their mutual benefit of course…..Justin’s sensual, dramatic style of painting was quickly getting national notice and Brian had no doubt that eventually his talent would be recognized worldwide…

A few months after they had happily moved in together again, he had observed Justin displaying a sort of melancholy, dreamy look at times on his beautiful, pensive face when he occasionally dropped in unannounced at his studio.  Concerned that something was wrong, it had taken him several persistent attempts before Justin finally opened up and told Brian what was really on his mind – he was craving part of what Michael and Ben had; not exactly the white picket fence and 2.4 kids, but close enough – simply put, Justin wanted children of their own.  He adored Gus and considered him his own son by now – and Gus had quickly adopted the name Poppa for him, loving him deeply in return – but Justin craved more.  He yearned to hold a newborn in his arms again, rock him or her to sleep, look into the baby’s face and see either him or Brian staring back at him.  He knew Brian was a wonderful father to Gus, and he knew instinctively he would be the same way with their own children, too.

At first, Brian vehemently opposed it; he felt like the last thing they needed was another baby to take care of.  He had had more than his share of dirty diapers, colic, and throwing up to last a lifetime, and to Justin’s credit, he hadn’t really pushed it after confiding to Brian what was in his heart; he had simply quietly continued his paintings, surreptitiously slipping in more and more sketches of a newborn Gus into his artwork to Brian’s part amusement and part consternation. 

Eventually, though, he realized two things:  the dirty diapers, sicknesses and colic had been temporary and had metamorphosized into pleasurable, delightful moments with his son – riding the horses at Britin with him, going to baseball games, even watching Justin making cookies with him, although they normally wound up eating more of the cookie dough than actually cooking it.  He treasured the times when Gus was able to come home from Toronto to visit them, and he realized how much richer his and Justin’s lives were because of him.  The arguments he had so steadfastly espoused before had seemed petty and irrelevant now.  So it was on that day approximately two years ago, he had watched Justin’s face light up in absolute joy as Brian had unexpectedly told him, yes, he would like another child, too.

The question of who was to carry their child, and perhaps more importantly, who was to be the biological father was discussed but only briefly; Brian was more than willing for Justin to be the sperm donor this time, assuring him that he wouldn’t mind a miniature blond, blue-eyed Justin look-alike pitty-pattering around the halls of Britin.  Daphne was the immediate person to come to mind as the mother, being Justin’s best friend and most ardent supporter of their relationship.  They weren’t sure how receptive Daphne would be to the idea, though, due to her wish to enter pre-med school the following fall.  And to most women, having a child was a major event; not every woman would be willing to bear a man’s child and give up custody rights to it, even though Justin would make sure Daphne was firmly entrenched in their child’s life; to their relief, though, when he and Justin had broached her with the idea soon afterward, she had been surprised but ecstatic about the idea, knowing how much Justin had adored holding Jenny Rebecca and Gus in his arms when they were little and taking care of them.  She instinctively knew her friend would make a wonderful father and enthusiastically endorsed their request, actually delaying her entry into pre-med school until the following year after he and Justin had offered to let her stay at Britin and pay for all her expenses while she was carrying Justin’s child.

Imagine their surprise a few weeks later, then, when they not only found out Daphne was already pregnant (no doubt a result of Justin’s youth and fertility, a fact that Brian never ceased to be grateful for when they were fucking), but she was expecting twins.  TWO little versions of Sunshine soon to be toddling around the hardwood floors of their home.

He at first had been secretly terrified about the idea of TWO babies needing to be raised at the same time, even going so far as to tell Justin about the first time he had had ‘two babies’ to take care of that fateful night so long ago; of course, all that flippant response got was a icy glare and a slap on his flat abs in return.  But as he watched Justin’s face light up with joy when they watched on the monitor as two little heartbeats rapidly beat in time with each other, and he observed Justin almost reverently place his and Brian’s hands against Daphne’s stomach to feel two pairs of feet robustly kicking back, he had to admit – it was fucking thrilling as hell. 

And when Kaylee Marie and Katherine Elizabeth Taylor-Kinney had been born about 18 months ago, and he held his and Justin’s two daughters in his arms, that had been one of the happiest days of his life…... 

“Brian?”  He was jolted back to the present at the sound of his attorney’s voice.  Mark Peterson leaned over and whispered, “The judge is about to sign off on your agreement; last chance – are you sure this is what you and Justin want?”

Was it?  The question echoed in his mind.  No…..But it was the only way…..He nodded his head sadly as he once more glanced over at Justin, whose eyes were boring into his, no doubt thinking the same thing.  There was a wistful ghost of a smile on his face before he broke off their gaze to turn and look at his attorney and nod.  “Yes,” he whispered.  “It is.”

Brian peered up at the distinguished, silver-haired judge who was reviewing the custody document that he and Justin had signed last week in the mediator’s chambers in view of their attorneys; the agreement that would rend their family permanently apart.  “The paperwork seems to be in order,” Holloway said authoritatively as he glanced out at the two men, one blond and slender, one dark, tall, and brooding.  He noticed the typical, customary sadness and disappointment on their faces, so common in difficult custody cases, but he knew he had to do his job; the paper was legally binding.   It still didn’t make his job any easier, though…..

“If there are no objections, then, I hereby grant sole custody of Kaylee Marie Taylor-Kinney to Mr. Justin Taylor, and order that sole custody of Katherine Elizabeth Taylor-Kinney be awarded to Mr. Brian Kinney as set forth in this document.”  He waited a few moments to make sure there were no rebuttals to his statement before adding authoritatively, “It is so ordered.”  As the judge slammed the wooden gavel down on the dais, it was like a wooden stake being driven into Brian’s heart as he sat there, trying to come to terms with what had just happened.  It meant not only that his relationship with Justin and his one daughter was over; it also mean that tomorrow, Justin would be flying out to Chicago to begin a new life there, and he would be taking Katie back with him to Britin.  The great Kinney-Taylor partnership was now officially shattered.  He stood up and politely shook his attorney’s hand before steeling himself to walk over to Justin one last time; he had already said his goodbye to Kaylee earlier in the mediator’s chambers.  It had been one of the hardest fucking things he had ever had to do in his life, but this was going to be a close second.

Justin nodded at his attorney, speaking softly to him before he, too, shook his hand and turned to face Brian; somehow, he knew his now former partner would be standing there even though he hadn’t looked his way yet.  His heart still fluttered rapidly as he turned to look into the hazel eyes he knew so well.  He couldn’t help offering a shy, regretful smile at the brunet as he said softly, “I guess this is it.”

Brian pursed his lips tightly together to hold his emotions in check as he nodded.  “Yeah, I guess so.  Your flight leaves tomorrow?” he asked casually, even though he already knew the answer to that question.  Tomorrow, his life as he – and Justin – knew it would be changed forever. 

“Yeah,” Justin answered quietly.  “9:00.” 

Brian nodded as he cleared his throat, not quite trusting how his voice would sound.  “Give Kaylee a kiss for me,” he whispered finally.

Justin swallowed the lump in his throat as his eyes watered.  “I will,” he told Brian.  “And you do the same for me for Katie.”  He sniffled slightly before looking toward the exit door.  “I…..I’d better get going,” he told the brunet.  “I’ve got a lot to do before we leave tomorrow.” 

“Justin….”  He said, reaching to grasp the pale wrist.  He really didn’t know what he wanted to say – he supposed it had all been said already, but he still didn’t want Justin to leave just yet…..

“Don’t, Brian, please,” Justin replied as he closed his eyes for just a second, trying to slow his rapidly-beating heart in response to Brian’s touch.  “We’ve been through all this before.  You know this is the best way.”

Brian let out a weary breath through his lips.  “Yeah,” he whispered finally.  “I guess so.”  He couldn’t resist pulling Justin toward him to bestow one last, brief farewell kiss on the soft, familiar lips as he whispered in his ear, “Take good care of yourself and Kaylee.  If you ever need anything….”

Justin pulled back from Brian’s embrace as he brunet reluctantly let go of his wrist.  He shook his head.  “No, we’ll be fine; I’ve got enough money saved up from the proceeds of my paintings to take care of us for quite a while.” 

Brian nodded silently as Justin turned to go.  “Take care, Brian,” he whispered as he slowly walked up the courtroom aisle and opened the wooden, swinging door to disappear out of sight. 

“Bye, Sunshine,” Brian said, his voice barely above a whisper.  He knew somehow that it would be a long time before he ever saw any kind of sunshine ever again….. “Bye, Baby Girl.”  He took a few moments to mourn what he had lost before straightening his shoulders and following Justin out the door; he had a child now to take care of that needed him.